Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, May 15, 2026

Sharing the Born-den- Parshat Bamidbar 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

May 15th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 29 28th of Iyar 5786

 

Parshat Bamidbar

(Amazing newest and latest Edition for you guys… After years of making me crazy… I'm delighted to share with you each week a PRINTABLE LINK!  For the Dvar Torah or whatever you wanna call this portion of the Weekly E-Mail for your Shabbos table…

Thank you Amit Landau for putting this together for me…

CLICK HERE BELOW FOR PRINT EDITION

Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Bamidbar )

 Sharing the Born-den

 

Let's put aside all of the politics for a second. I know in Israel, that's a very hard ask. Politics here is like air and water. It's everything. I love those people, like my wife, who "turn it all off" and claim to have no clue about anything that's going on. But it doesn't work. At the end of the day, it's all over the place. The signs on the street, the talk in shul, the bais midrash, the Mikva and the makolet. Who's running for office? Who are you voting for? None of them are worth anything. This guy's not good. That one's a phony. This party sold us out. They're just interested in their money, their limo, their chauffer, their cigars. It's all about power. Looks like we're heading back to that balagan again soon. So get ready. Here comes the new catchy jingles for each party. I'm not looking forward to this. Where are my earplugs?

 

But before we start this whole cycle again, let's put it all aside for a moment, because I want to talk about something first. It's a burning hot issue. It's, I believe the core of everything. It's something I learned at my Sheva Brachos, by a great speech given by a friend of inlaws. He told me that the most important thing to know to have a happy successful marriage comes down to two words. If you learn them, you're good to go. If you don't, then you're going to have a very hard time. What are the two words? "You're right". She's always right. Even if she's wrong, remember… She's still right. It's a good wife, he told me, that let's her husband think he's right every once in a while. But tachlis, if you want to be happy, just remember, she's always right. It will make things a lot easier, if you can swallow that.

 

On that note, I want to use that concept when it comes to politics here. To all the different opinions and ideas. It's a way of preparing ourselves for what's to come. It's good for us to see things from the other side. So I want to talk specifically about one issue. The issue of the army. The issue of the draft. The idea that we all have to serve. Not just sit in the Bais Midrash and claim to be learning to protect our soldiers. But really take a gun, put on the uniform and kill these guys. That-here comes the hard part to swallow, that unless we do that, we're not really "sharing the burden".

 

That's really the point, I want us to focus on. To swallow. To hear. To absorb and internalize. No matter how much tehillim we say, how much Torah we learn, how many tefillos we recite, at the end of the day, it's not our son on the front line. It's not my child that's facing an army of terrorists, where soldiers are getting targeted and injured each day. It's not my husband, my father, my brother who may chas ve'shalom never come back home again. Whose empty bed or seat by the Shabbos table is a stark reminder of the danger that he's in. Of the fear and sleeplessness that I will never see them there and they will never fill them again. We're not sharing that burden, that the ones that are serving are experiencing and sacrificing for. In the same way, that all of us that didn't have a child being held hostage in Gaza, could possibly ever share that burden those family members were suffering through, because ultimately it wasn't really our own flesh and blood skin in the game, that they had.

 

Now there's no need to respond. To defend. To answer. To justify. And certainly not to attack. It doesn't work in marriage. You know that. It won't work here either. That's not to say there aren't legitimate responses or even alternate perspectives. There are in marriage and there certainly are here in politics and on this hot button issue. But, as I said, I want to put all of that aside. Let's just focus on what they're right about. What we're wrong about. What they're going through, that we're not. That at the end of the day, we're not really sharing that overwhelming, incomprehensible burden. We're not alleviating it any real or meaningful way. It's heavy. It's hard. It's scary and it's painful. They're right. We need to truly feel that and internalize that lacking of ours. Only after we do that, do I believe that conversation and the politics should begin. But it all has to start with that foundation. They're right.

 

Why do I say this, on this particular week? Because, that's really what the parshat Ha'Shavuah this week-the parsha that we are meant to read each year before Shavuos, the one that opens up the book of our journey to Israel, that describes our process of coming home and the struggles we need to overcome is all about. Welcome to Sefer Bamidbar; the book of the wilderness.  

 

To be honest, what I'm going to share with you is an idea that I've never really seen before or even thought about. It jumped out at me this year. It called me. It's the essence of the parsha that I believe most of us kind of gloss over. To be honest, it's quite boring. Yet, to a large degree it's the essence of everything. It's the key to understanding what everything is all about.

 

The center of this introduction that carries over three aliyos in this parsha that opens up the book, is the story of the redemption of the first-borns and the exchange that is done in their counting, with money being handed over to the Kohanim for the redemption. There are 22,000 plus that are redeemed and exchanged for the Levi'im who will fill their places, and the additional 273 who had to be redeemed for money. 5 shek a head, which equals 20 geira of silver. Are you falling asleep yet? Boring, right? Except that what I just told you right now in those two sentences are in fact the greatest and perhaps most tragic social engineering calamity that we've ever faced. It's what galus is all about. It's how Hashem wants us to understand what our purpose is. And perhaps if we truly grasp this it's how we might even be able to avoid elections and actually ourselves be redeemed. Are you ready? Hold on to your hats…

 

Why were the Bechorim, the first-born, being redeemed? What's this strange mitzva that introduces our book all about. So, as we all know, and Rashi tells us, it's because they were the ones that were primarily responsible for the sin of the Golden Calf. Which non-incidentally happened right after the upcoming holiday of Shavuos. We're reading this now and each year, to learn from our mistakes and have a meaningful Shavuos this year, that lasts eternally. It's about fixing the sin of the Golden Calf, and not making that same mistake again.

 

Now, the truth is what's really the aftermath of that story. If one wanted to look on the bright side, as many of our commentaries do, one can say it really wasn't such a bad thing. We got Yom Kippur out of the deal. We got the second giving of the Torah, on that Yom Kippur. The second Torah we received although it was different than the first, as it wasn't hand-written by Hashem and wasn't as fancy, but it shared with us the ability to redeem ourselves. To partner with Hashem. To have all of Torah She'baal peh- the oral tradition that we are meant to study, learn, and reveal. That's awesome. That's cool. That's really what has held us for thousands of years. So in the end, it really wasn't such a bad thing.

 

Sure, there's the idea that Hashem always brings a bit of that sin of the golden calf along with every punishment he gives us throughout the generation. But really, let's be honest. We don't even know what that means? What, it's like a little extra salt that He's pouring on our wounds? That even in itself doesn't sound so so bad. It's like He's slicing us up for surgery we need anyways, so He snips another few things along the way, just as payback for that old sin of the calf? What is that really all about? Either forgive us, or punish us. Shouldn't He stop holding a 3000-year-old passive aggressive grudge?

 

See, if that's the way we're looking at it, which in truth is the way I always did, then we're missing the boat. We haven't really grasped what this parsha is telling us, that happened. And to be honest, it's very likely the reason, we still haven't really reached the point of being redeemed ourselves. It's why we're still wandering in the Midbar.

 

What we really lost with sin of the Eigel, was in fact the first-born doing the avoda and service in the Temple. We don't really appreciate, how huuuge of a difference this really is. We're kind of happy with Kohanim doing the service for us. With Levi'im serving them. With perhaps ourselves not even serving in the army today. We come a few times a year and bring them our gifts. We make barbeques for them. We look at the money we pay them to redeem ourselves from this service, almost like paying off the guy at the draft authority, so that we don't have to serve in the army. We're patur. We're redeemed. He's doing the dirty… I mean holy work… and I can live my life regular. I can live in Chutz La'aretz and send duffle bags during war, without having to actually live in that intense crazy war torn country with a bunch of rude Israelis without any meat boards.

 

That my friends, is the tragedy of the sin of the Golden Calf that we're still suffering from. What was the sin? The sin really started on Shavuos when Hashem revealed and gave us the Torah. After the first two commandments we told Moshe, it's too much. It's too intense. We need a break. We need an intermediary. You be our man. We'll take it from you. The first-borns then sat down to eat and drink. According to the Talmud and the commentaries, it was either them or Nadav and Avihu and the Zekeinim, that Hashem at the time didn't send His hand against that Shavuos morning. They experienced a revelation that no one else did. They saw Hashem face to face. They became prophets. They were charged with revealing that to the rest of Israel. They took that role and ate and drank it in to themselves. It became them.

 

That sin, ultimately led to the sin of the calf. We wanted to experience Hashem, but not up close. Not face to face. Not in my home. Not in my garden. Just when I want to come and visit Him. When I'm in the mood to hang out together with Him. This could work, if I had Moshe around. Once we thought we don't have Moshe and that he's not coming back from the top of the Mountain, then we needed a replacement. The First-borns needed one. They started the golden calf campaign. Their response wasn't that we will fill that role. We will lift you all up and connect you to Hashem. We will be the First-borns He redeemed when we left Egypt and connect you to our Father. Instead, they came up with the Golden Calf. A fake intermediary. One that tells and reinforces the concept, that we cannot have a personal connection with Hashem.

 

The First- Borns lost it at that moment. Nadav and Avihu, our sages tell us as well we're killed for that same sin. Even the sages that didn't fill that role, we're later killed in parshat Ba'ha'aloscha by Tav'eira. A fire came down and swallowed them up in the mysterious story of the Mis'oninim- the complainers. The Meshech Chochma tells us that the story of their complaining then was specifically about this redemption of the first-borns that took place. About the social engineering that I mentioned that transformed the face of Klal Yisrael until today. That to a large degree the most significant and ultimate "punishment", tikkun and reminder that we are left with from the sin of the golden calf. It's what Hashem reminds us of in every punishment that is meted out against us throughout all generations. That our problems all started from here. That we don't have a first-born. That our Father is not living with us in the house.

 

What's the difference if I have a first-born doing the service and it being redeemed into the hands of the Kohanim and Levi'im? The difference is having your son in the Mikdash and having a representative there from outside of your family doing it for you. It's the difference between your son serving in the army and someone else's random soldier fighting the fight and putting his life on the line for you. When each family had someone there in the Mikdash, can you imagine what that house looked like. Each of us felt, we had the most personal connection with Hashem. He didn't just count us as the beginning of the book tells us, but rather he took someone from my house that will be in His presence all day every day. That means, I'm there. I'm in front of Hashem. My family is there. That's as real as it gets. That's really the way it's supposed to be. That's what the role of the first-born is meant to be for each of us.

 

When we lost that, because they weren't ready for that role, then we lost our personal connection. From now on since then, we just have someone else there for us. We're not really sharing the not just the burden, but the real personal knowledge and connection with Hashem that we're meant to. We're in chutz la'aretz, in America, in Lakewood while their living in Israel. We're camped surrounding the Mishkan with our pretty little flags, as our parsha tells us right before this narrative, but the Levi'im are sitting right there in the middle up front and center around the Temple.

 

What makes this even more amazing, in terms of understanding the narrative of the Torah of the parsha, the Meshech Chochma again notes, that it's why the parsha begins telling us of the generations of Moshe and Aharon and then just tells us about the children of Aharon, and not Moshes. As well it tells us that Nadav and Avihu die, which seemingly we should know already as we mentioned this quite a few times before in the last book. However with this understanding of what the function of this story is, it really is amazing.

 

For if we understand the reason, the first-born and all of a klal Yisrael were given for why we lost this role and privilege, is because of the Golden Calf, then there seems to be a problem. Why does Aharon get it!? He was the man that built that calf. Why his kids? Thus the Torah tells us that Aharon paid the price. His two sons were killed. He lives each day with that loss. With that mistake that they made. With that mistake they tried to fix by going in on their own to see Hashem. They didn't understand that the only way to see Hashem now was through the Torah that Moshe taught them. It's only through him that we can get the nevuah. It's from taking his kedusha and light and drawing from there. Aharon and his mourning family are charged with the new job of the first-borns because they live with that loss and memory every day.  

 

As well, that same price is paid by the zekeinim by Tave'ira. They complained. They wanted their role back. They didn't feel that the Jews can't have their personal connection. It wasn't fair. Why Aharon? Why his children? Why the Kohanim? And thus, a fire came out, just like it did by Korach who also had that same claim, and burnt them up. Fascinatingly enough, right after that story, just like by Har Sinai, the Jews eat and drink and complain about the quality of the food. It becomes Kivrot Ha'Taiva. It's almost a repeat of that Sinai experience. After that story Moshe himself, complains that he can't handle it all, and there Hashem tells him that He will take the spirit from Moshe and transfer it to the 70 sages. The word interestingly enough there is

 

va'yatzel min ha'ruach asher alov-  And He set aside from the spirit that was upon him.

 

It is that same word of "vi'el atzilei bnai Yisrael", that is used be the ones by Sinai that saw Hashem. There it is translated as the strong ones, or the nobles. Yet literally it means the "eitzel"s- the ones that are on the side. The ones that are meant to draw their kedusha and spiritual connection to Hashem. The Levi and Kohen are only there not for themselves. Not for their taiyva, not for the food, not even to see Hashem and for their own closeness. Their job is to bring the light that starts with Moshe and transfer it to Bnai Yisrael. To be their brothers. To remind them, that Hashem is close to them. That He wants to be with them. They are bridges. They are the family members of ours, that bless us every day, so we feel Hashem is with us. Because they are there for us.

 

So how do we fix this? What is the punishment or better yet, the tikkun of the pidyon bechor, his redemption that we need to do? It's incredible. Every family has to bring his first born to the Kohen and give him 5 shekel. Rashi tells us that the amount of 5 Shekel is 20 silver coins which the amount that we sold Yosef who was meant to be our firstborn of Rochel for. When we sold Yosef, we decided that he wasn't going to be our representative. He can't rule over us. We don't need a representative. We can all have our place without him. He's the shor, the ox. We can make our calf. So we sold him for 5 shekel/ 20 silver coins and gave up our bechor. Our birthright and with that we went down to galus to be redeemed and get that back again.

 

Since we left for all times whenever the first son is born in every family we have to remember this. We have to say we're giving up our money for our son. We're not just removing ourselves from this job, from this representative position that we lost and paying off someone to do that for us. Every Jewish family will from then on have someone in our family, that always sits at the table, who lives with the knowledge that he was supposed to be our man in the Mishkan. In the Temple. We each have our kohen here with us, who's not working. He's not fired. In fact, the halacha of a bechor is that if one switches it for another animal, they both remain holy. The switch doesn't really work! Each Jewish family, thus virtually has a "soldier" in their house, who is wounded… who can't physically join the army… but he's longing and reminding us each day. That he wants to be there. That one day, he will be back there again. Because we need to know, that a golden calf doesn't work, an outsider who's just doing the job for me isn't enough.

 

Ritzoneinu li'ros malkeinu- We want Hashem in our midst. We want to see our king. Our Father. We want him in our Home. We want to live there with Him.

 

Today is Yom Yerushalayim. It's when after 2000 years of exile, Hashem brought us to the place we've claimed to be longing for, that we've claimed to be dreaming of coming to. That we've davened three times a day to be worthy of being the generation that will see it in our hands. Except, that we didn't say those words then and there. Motta Gur, left the Har Ha'Bayis and came down to the Kotel and recited those words "Har Ha'Bayit Bi'yadeinu" there on the bottom. He decided, as we did until today, that it's too much for us. We're happy here on the bottom. We're not yet worthy. We have a wall instead.

 

We have our words of prayer which are meant to serve in place of sacrifices, but they're not really flayshigs. We have our Torah, our Bais Medrash, our beautiful shuls in America, in London, in Karmiel, in Bnai Brak and even in the new city of Yerushalayim. We have our surrogate bechor, kohanim blessing us instead. We have other people's children serving for us in the army. We're not sharing the burden. We don't want the burden. We don't want the ohl- the yoke, and what we're really saying is that we don't really want the al- the above. The ladder from Hashem to come down to our house. To be with us. Always.

 

Fifty nine years ago today, Hashem put those words in the mouth of Motta Gur. He wanted us to know that the Temple Mount is truly in our hands. We just need to stretch them out and grab them. It's hard to take something in your hands when their full of other things. When you've got meatboards, when you've got fancy houses in galus, when you even have Torah and Mitzvos and Kollels and chesed even here in Israel. When, like those first-borns at Har Sinai you're eating and drinking, when like Nadav and Avihu you've had a bit too much wine, when like the zekeinim by kivros ha'taiva you're worried about your next meal. If your hands are full, you can't grasp the Temple Mount. If we forget Yerushalayim, then what we're saying is we've forgotten what the purpose of our right hand is for. It's to grab the Bais Ha'Mikdash. It's to bring down Mashiach. It's put aside the politics. It's to finally come home.

 

 Have a Chodesh Tov, a blessed Shabbos and a miraculous Yom Yerushalayim!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

  

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

"A hun iz gut tsu esn zalbenand - ich un di hun "– A chicken dinner is best when shared by two - me and the chicken.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

32. What event, other than the Last Supper, took place according to Christian tradition at the same site___________?


Which of the following Christian denominations has a part in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre according to the Status Quo? 

A. Benedictines

B. Protestants

C. Syrians

D. Nestorians


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vatem   Dreaming of the Geula? Here's my wings of Eagle composition with the promise Hashem gave us on Shavuot! Dovid Lowy on the arrangements and vocals!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lecha-amar-my-versioon   -  Do you really want to see the face of Hashem… always…? Are you ready? Well this special compostion of mine will certainly elicit that longing. Es Panecha, composed right before this three year war started… Powerful!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro2R8xVJHE4   - Did you Hallel this morning? If not here's the one and only Shlomo Katz's musical Hallel this morning…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU0H1t7oTOM – TYH's latest release.. sure to make you crazy. Hashem Echad Hashem is one!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNGH6E7-pFQ&list=RDGNGH6E7-pFQ&start_radio=1And of course in honor of  Yom Yerushalayim- the ultimate classic Miami Boys Yerushalayim…


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


Signs of Redemption- 351 BC-  So last week, we discussed Chagai's prophecy to the Jewish people that the time was right with Darius's declaration to return finally to Israel and rebuild the Temple. The Jews as we noted, didn't take that well sitting back in their comfortable shtibels in Bavel. They ahd their houses, their meat-boards and more importantly their yeshivos, their Torah and even incredible peace with this new Post- Haman and Achashveirosh Jewish-ish King who was the son of Esther.

 

They thus claimed it wasn't time for redemption yet, because  there weren't miracles really. The nations of the world will complain. You see even the starting of the Mikdash was halted. Shomronim don't let. Why have another false-start and hope come crashing down? We're better of spiritually and materially here. When Hashem really wants us he'll send wings of eagles and men with white beards on donkeys to call us. Sound familiar?

 

Chaggai thus responds to them, then and to us now with the rebuke and answer of Hashem. He tells them, that first of the sign the geula is that when they plant a lot it will start to grow and produce a lot. The land has been desolate. And whadaya know… even though we've returned it's still not growing. This doesn't make sense. The answer is because we're not building the Mikdash. Even the things we're bringing in our homes is getting ruined. Why? No Mikdash. Our clothing are not keeping us warm at night. The money we're making is not bringing us blessing. Things are going to start going downhill. The reason for this is because you're too busy and focused on building your own houses and stockpiles and you've forgotten about Hashem. He's waiting for you to return to Him before He will bring miracles. To tell Him that you've come back to Him. That you want Him home. When you do that… prophecy will return. Miracles will happen. The Geula will be here. All of those signs and bad things that are not happening will transform into miracles of return. The ground will produce, you will become rich, you will be home. If not it will just get worse and worse.

 

Most Jews weren't moved or inspired. They couldn't leave. Even the ones that did leave, led by Zerubavel and Yehsohua Kohen Gadol, upon coming to Israel did not yet restart the project of rebuilding the Temple. They didn't get their permits still from Daruis. They were still too nervous. It took a second push from Chaggai to tell them to get started. Don't wait. Hashem will protect you. There won't be any danger. Har Ha'bayis Bi'yedchem- make it happen. Build the Temple.

 

And thus unlike 59 years ago when we didn't start and do what we were supposed on the 4th day of Elul they began the work of putting together the team to build the Temple.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE SHARING JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries, and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple-all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine-they were used to sharing everything. People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said,

"No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked,

"What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered, "My turn for the teeth."

 

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account? Prime mates.

 

Why are crabs so bad at sharing? Because they're all shellfish.

 

If I win tonight's Powerball, I'm sharing with everyone on my whatsapp status. I'm not sharing the money. I'll just let you know I won.

 

An Israeli, a Frenchman and a Palestinian are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze, when Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for consuming the booze they are all sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, they are able successfully to appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the benevolent sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes. As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh announced,

 "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

 

The Frenchman was first. He thought for a while, then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

 

This was done, but the pillow lasted only 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, the Frenchman had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. The Palestinian was next up. After watching the Frenchman's horror, he said smugly,

 

 "Please fix two pillows to my back."

 

But even two pillows could take only 15 lashes before the whip went through and the Palestinian was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

 

The Israeli was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the sheikh turned to him and said, "You are from a most beautiful and holiest part of the world and your culture is one of the finest that has done so much for humanity. For this, you may have two wishes!"

 

"Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness," the Israeli replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but 100 lashes."

 

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish"?

"Tie the Palestinian to my back."

 

Be careful when sharing jokes. I read a joke a few weeks ago that went, "What do you do when an epileptic is having a fit in the bath? Throw your laundry in."

I decided to repeat the joke at work the other day to some co-workers and when I finished, one guy got really offended and that I shouldn't tell jokes like that because his younger brother died in the bath as a child while having an epileptic fit.

I asked, "Did he drown?"

The guy was furious and said, "No, he choked on a sock!"

 

I deleted an audiobook my wife and I was sharing. Now I'll never hear the end of it

 

Moishe, Yanky and Chaim were walking around feeling quite hungry. They didn't have any money to buy anything. As they were discussing their problem they passed by a church announcing a big feast for the occasion of four nuns were celebrating that they were about to take their vows. Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, making them Brides of Yoshka.

Just as the ceremony was about to begin,  and they took their seats in the front row, the Mother looked at these Hasidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns and long beards came in and came over to them and said

“I am honored that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?”

Moishie replied, “We're from the groom's family.”

 

Moshe and Avram went to a fish restaurant. They ordered one lunch and 2 plates to share it. The waiter brought 1 large fish and one small fish.

"Avram, you choose first", said Moshe

"No, please you choose."

"OK, I will take". Moshe took a big piece and put it on his plate

Avram, looked upset and said, "I figured You would take a big one"

"And which would you take?"

"The small one"

"Nu, so what is the problem?"

 

The old scholarly rabbi, a man of great wisdom and erudition, was dying. His son's gathered around his bed, trying to make his last journey comfortable. They gave him some warm milk to drink but he refused. One of his son's took the glass back to the kitchen. He had come from Colorado, where marijuana is legal. He opened a vial of cannabis oil, and mixed a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at the rabbis bed he held the cup to his father's lips. The rabbi drank a little, then a little more, and before they knew it he finished the whole glass.

"Father" said the eldest son, "please share some wisdom with us before you go. Give us some perspective and advice.”

The rabbi raised himself up in bed. A sage look came over his face, And then he said, "DO NOT SELL THAT COW."

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The answer to this week's question is C– OK… So this is one of those where I technically got this right but they would probably mark me wrong. It's also a cool timely question. So I answered Dovid Hamelech was buried there. The truth is that's correct according to the way the question is worded. They believe he's there. That's even the reason why they say the whole story happened there. They like making Xtian Jewish connections, as it gives them a sense of credibility. But that's not what they were looking for. They wanted things that they made up in the New Testament. They wanted me to know about washing the feet of his students and other bubbeh meisehs. The other story that I didn't even remember or know about, was actually that they believe that on Shavuos after the Pesach when he was Baruch Hashem crucified Yemach Shemo. They believe that his students and Peter got ruach hakodesh and went out and proslytised to 3000 students that "converted". See… they want to hijack our Shavuos story as well. The real truth though is that Dovid Hamlech isn't buried there either. The Navi tells us he's in Ir Dovid. That's not by Zion Gate where the Last Supper is.

 

Now the second part, I really had no clue. I don't even know what Nestorians or whatever they call them are. I guessed Benedictine cause I knew it wasn't the Protestants who don't believe in that place. I was wrong the answer was Syrians. I really don't care. Do you? Well I got this one wrong entirely. So full point for them on this one and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having 22 points and the MOT having 10 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.


Friday, May 8, 2026

Money for Nothing- Parshat Behar Bechukosai 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

May 8th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 28 21st of Iyar 5786

 

Parshat Behar- Bechukosai

 Money for Nothing

 

It's been rough for us tour guides here. It's been a while since we've seen any of you. I don't think even in Corona, or the beginning of this war have I ever gone this long without touring one of you. Not Pesach. Not Lag Ba'Omer. My summer is still pretty much wide open. Some people refer to a downturn in their business. "It's been slow, lately", others say, when they don't want to really talk about how bad it really is. But I'm here to tell you the real scoop, in case you didn't get it. It's dead. It's almost three months now. It's from before Purim. It's like the Jews in the wilderness and the manna is running out, there's no water and there's just a big hot dry dead wilderness in front of us. I get their kvetching a bit more, these days. I can understand why Hashem got upset at Moshe for being so harsh with us about our lack of faith, at least at one point. It ain't easy.


There are quite a few guys that are doing alternate things. Sruli, started to do some Real Estate. Avi and Ari are doing some driving and deliveries. Some of my driver friends got gigs doing army deliveries. Even my friend who bought an ATV business before this whole thing started is now renting them out to the Army. He figures if they can't be used to share the beauty and nature of Eretz Yisrael with people that are coming here to visit, then at least they should be put to good use killing the mamzers that made this happen and perhaps even potentially, hopefully expanding the current borders of Israel to those more in line with our biblical promise. Creating new routes and trails to take people on, when this is all over.

My friend Yoni, has been on my case to join him on these Auschwitz, Europe, graves, old shuls and dead murdered massacred Jews gig he's got going on. As if there's not enough of that to see over here… It's always interested me, that there are people that want to see that stuff. That are not scared of heading out to countries where they killed all of our ancestors, where they would do it again, where there's no Israeli army that would even pretend to be interested in saving you. Why spend money and help an economy that would use that money to give parnassah to the grandchildren of the same people that helped the Nazi's and even sold your grandparents out to them? Why aren't you nervous about going to a place where anti-Semitism and Jew-killing is a favorite national pastime?


Yeah, I know, you've got that going on in the States as well, these days, so maybe it doesn't make you so nervous. You're used to burying your head in the sand. Which is usually good practice historically for when they make you dig your own graves. Ouch! But what possible inspiration does one get out of those places in Europe? What do people find or see there besides, death, blood, and tumah? And don't tell me that it's to learn the lessons of the past and "Never Again", because where are you still living…?


So I told him, no. I'm not interested. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the occasional tour outside of Israel, as my Swiss and Africa trips reveal. But I don't want to work there. I don't want to take Jews there. I don't want to connect them to those places. Hashem told us that we should never return to Egypt. After the expulsion from Spain, our sages as well declared that we should never go back there- of course they made an exception for 5 Star Pesach programs with separate swimming pools and spas, Mordechai Shapiro and Leiner singing, kosher magicians and poker tables, with big Rabbis who write columns about Mesora in Mishpacha magazine serving as Scholars in residence. But besides that our Rabbis felt that no one should step foot on that bloodied earth. I don't know why they didn't do that in Poland or the Ukraine, though. Maybe it's because the "Jewish travel" lobby would have to much to say. Maybe they didn't want to give up their future scholars in residence gigs. Maybe they just wanted to provide parnassa for tour guides during periods of time when Jews were too scared to come to Israel…


So what have I been up to? Well I filled you in on some of the stuff. My trips down South to Sinai to do some volunteering trimming grape vines in my friend Gal's field. I've started writing for Mishpacha magazine again. Stay tuned for the upcoming Shavuos edition. I'm just about finished with my new book, "War Torah", three years' worth of Parsha material and E-Mails seen through the eyes of a Rabbi/Tour Guide/ Oleh/ Me… which I hope to get out volume I, by the new Torah cycle. Sponsorship opportunities upcoming… Stay tuned! As well, I've been doing some more learning, reading and hitting the gym. Gotta keep the weight off, especially with all the couch sitting noshing, I've been doing.


What about Parnassa? It will come. That's what credit cards are for. As one of my tour guide friends, told me, after Corona, the first years of the war, and all the other gaps in business we've undergone, Hashem has always sent us our manna right back afterwards. It's gonna come. This past winter in fact, He even sent the parnassa beforehand. It was the busiest winter- at least until Purim since the post-Corona year. It's like the promise of getting triplicate in the 6th year before Shemitta, that this week's parsha tells us about. Hey, why should tour guides be different then Shemitta farmers in that regard. We both make our living off the land. We even bring them all our tourists. So, Hashem gave us the same advance He gives them, in the months before this latest tourism drought. I just wish he didn't have to crush the dollar in the process… But at least, I'm not earning any right now anyways, so I don’t feel so bad.


Well once we’re on the subject of havtachos from this week's parsha and the mitzva of Shemitta, the year that we take a Shabbos from working the land, and step back and say Hashem runs the world. He pays my bills. I'm sitting at His table and I don't have to worry about the next course. Let's see if this is only a farmer thing or not.


The mitzva that follows these laws is fascinatingly enough the laws of the prohibition to take interest. Seemingly this mitzva one would more appropriately expect to find in Mishpatim or in Devarim, as we do, rather than here in the middle of the mitzvos that have to do with Shemitta, Yovel and buying and selling land in Israel. The prohibition to take interest is applicable to every Jew everywhere. Even you guys outside of Israel. What's it got to do with what seems to be only Eretz Yisraeldikeh laws?


Now in case, you thought that this wasn't the case, the follow up verse and even more perplexing Rashi that explain them makes this even more clear. The reason the Torah tells us for this mitzva in Mishpatim is because he's your brother, you should worry about him, he will cry out to Hashem. As well, in Devarim it tells us that Hashem will give us bracha if we keep this mitzva. He will even bring us to the land to inherit it. It certainly seems that it has nothing to do with a specific connection to living in the land. Yet here, the pasuk tells us that we need to keep the mitzva because


 Vayikra (25:38) "I am Hashem, your God, who took you out of the Land of Egypt to give you the Land of Canaan to be Your God."


What does leaving Egypt have to do with charging interest? Rashi seems to address these questions, but his answers at first glance don't really seem to cut it.


Who took you out … " just as I discerned between a firstborn and a non-firstborn, I also recognize and will exact punishment from one who lends money to an Israelite on interest and claims that it belongs to a non-Jew.


Another explanation: “who took you out of Egypt” – I redeemed you on condition that you accept My commandments upon yourselves, even if they be difficult for you.


The problem with this Rashi's pshat is that first of all why is it the fact that Hashem is discerning between the first borns the barometer for Hashem's ability to tell the difference between one who lends with interest and doesn't. Hashem knows everything. He did ten plagues before that and showed he runs the world. He knows everyone's thoughts. The mitzva and prohibition seem to be directed to Jews who believe in Hashem. They're keeping the mitzvos. Perhaps they even believe in everything else. The challenge they may be forgetting and that this mitzva seems to be reminding us is that Hashem can tell who's a first born or not. What does this have to do with Ribbis?


As well, Rashi seems to learn this warning is directed not just to someone who charges interest, but rather someone who does it through a loophole. He gets a goy to lend it for him. He's trying to work the system. A way out of the mitzva. That's who this mitzva and warning is directed to. This is the mitzva that Rashi in the second pshat as well, seems to note is difficult. It's a different aspect of the mitzva then perhaps the other places where it discussed.

As well the next Rashis continue in what seems broader themes, but that the Torah seems to be noting is particularly note and warning worthy here.


To give you Canaan - as reward for accepting upon yourselves to fulfill My commandments.

The land of Canaan is given for many mitzvos. Perhaps even more so, for the mitzvos that can't be fulfilled here. The laws of the tithes, of sacrifices, of shemitta and yovel. What does interest have to do with living in the land. We can do that anywhere?


Yet it was the last Rashi that really threw me for a loop. Because it's not so much what he says, rather it's what he doesn't say. How he changes what is really said. And most of all the message and connection he seems to be making with our mitzva that sheds light on it all.

Rashi writes


In order to be a God to you - for whoever lives in the Land of Israel – I consider Myself his God, but


Before I finish this famous quote, that Rashi paraphrases here, I want to ask you how you believe it ends. If you're anyone that ever argued with anyone about making Aliya, on either side of the argument, you're bound to finish that sentence as Chazal do in Kesuvot and other places.


"He who lives outside of Israel is as if he has no God."


All good Aliyah snobs (as Rabbi Efrem G. coined the phrase recently) know this gemara and throw it at all of you guys all the time. It's the exact opposite and contrast to the one that lives in Israel. It makes sense. Yet that's not what Rashi quotes. It's not how he finishes off the quote. He changes it. He wants to make a different message here. The question is what.

Rashi ends off that phrase differently. He writes


"but whoever leaves I consider to be an idolater".


Who said anything about leaving Israel here? Why does leaving Israel have to do with lending with interest? As well, it seems that someone that leaves is even worse than the person that doesn't come. As here Rashi calls him an idolator. That's a lot harsher than the godless person that Chazal call he who doesn't live here at all. There's something going on here, and I believe it's an incredible message for tour guides without work in Israel today. That's obviously what Hashem wrote in the Torah to teach us. It's all about me.


Rashi, writes that whoever leaves the land of Israel is considered to be a idolator. It would seem that this refers not only to those who illegally pack out or abandon Israel. As the truth is there's not too many in their right mind that would actually leave when things are going good. As Reb Chayim Kanievsky once told someone that asked him about leaving because he got a better job offer there, that he's a halachic shoteh if he does so. He's patur from all mitzvos because he's a fool, or mentally challenged and isn't liable for his actions which have no meaning. Seemingly he sees him as someone who's given a diamond and throws it away. Rather Rashi says "whoever leaves". Even someone who has a good reason. Even someone who goes when it's permitted to leave. He falls into the category of one who is permitted to leave, whether it's for parnassa, for a shidduch or even to study Torah. He's also viewed by Hashem as an idolator. That's pretty harsh. But that's what Rashi paraphrases. That's what he seems to be saying is the connection to the mitzva of Ribbis over here.


Why would someone leave Israel? There's only one reason. The reason is because you don't believe that you can find all that you need here. That your parnassa can and will happen here. That your bashert is here. That your Torah will even be on a greater level here. That your kids won't go off the derech here. You believe in Hashem. You want to serve Him. You know he preforms miracles. That he's good for His word. That He's quite capable of providing us with Manna and water in the wilderness. That He can even bring ten plagues on Egypt. But you have trouble understanding that He can tell that you’re his first Born. You think that you're subject to the same hishtadlus that perhaps the rest of the non-first born world is.


Perhaps you believe that you're just a little bit better and more loved then the non-Jews. Enough so that you can't lend Jews money with interest. But you can still work the system through them. You can use the non-Jews and be like them to rip off your brother. To advance your business interests. You can lend money through them, but you're forgetting that you're sitting on the table of the King. That you're brother is a first-born. That all of the mitzvos Hashem has given us is for us to appreciate that we are at his table. He gave us the mitzva that wherever we are living we shouldn't lend with interest because if you do, then you're forgetting that He gave us the land. We have a bank where we are taken care of from where our savings come from.


If you lend with interest, you really don't believe in Eretz Yisrael either. You're worshipping the same idol that someone who leaves Israel is serving. You're serving the dollar. You're worse than someone who's never lived here and never experienced it, who's just a nebach godless tinok she'nishbu, that may even be wearing a black hat in Lakewood or a shtreimel in Boro Park. If you're here and you leave here because you think it's gonna be better there. That, only there is where your yeshuah, your parnassa, your Torah and your children's chinuch is, then you're inherently leaving Hashem to worship idols instead.


The farmers here who have kept shemitta, as the Torah promises them, have seen that blessing. My friend Gal, out in Sinai that I visited told me that the bracha was that he was able to take off and learn Torah in Yerushalayim for a year. The tens of thousands of Kollel families who somehow manage to marry off ten kids and buy them all apartments as well will tell you about the daily miracles they experience. The soldiers, the generals, the families and survivors of this war and the entire country that's lived through this war and seen those missiles flying over our head and the so many times we should've been wiped out, know that we're sitting on the King's Table upon which His eyes aren't removed for even one second.


We're not living b'keri- with the mikreh, the happenstance that those who are living outside in the godless world are living. Hashem doesn't have to put all other things aside to deal with reminding us of where we are, who we are. We can be yashevtem la'betach b'artzichem- we can live, settle, dwell, sleep and just live securely here in our land. It's the final and best bracha. It's the only place where we can do that. So, I'm not going anywhere these days. When are you going to join the party?


Have a Shabbos of Chizuk and Chazak!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" Di shversteh arbet iz arumtsugain laidik"– The hardest work is to go idle.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zdfk4KAiad4   – Lubavitcher Rebbe gives chizuk to Reb Nochum Partzovitz of Mir… Wow…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPI354InKqUTYH's latest new release and hit that's gonna hit all over until you get sick of it… Ahavas Yisrael- Yossi Green and Storch!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDU4bEDI31Y   - Ronald Reagan's greatest aging Jokes


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATo6Pk1fAGQ – Kobi Brumer- New Bar Yochai Kodesh Hakedoshim- nice…!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Or3hlR093Qk – Dovi Lowy's Oseh Shalom unplugged… got into it this week…


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

31. A monument designed by the artist Dani Karavan near the city of Be'er Sheva is called

____________


The broad wall in Jerusalem is considered to be part of the fortification that defended

Jerusalem, during the war campaign of which of the following occupiers/warlords?

A. Ashurbanipal

B. Sargon

C. Tiglath-Pileser

D. Sennacherib


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


Hopes Dashed- 351 BC-  The King is dead. Achashverosh dies and his son, who according to Chazal was the child of his and Esther's thus making him Jewish, Darius the Persian becomes King. That year officially concluded the 70 years from the destruction of the Temple by Nevuchadnezzar and thus immediately the Jews with the urging of the prophets Chagai and Zecharia began work on the building of the Bait Ha'Mikdash. But before we get to that….

 

Let's understand how and why the Jews weren't that into it. What the prophets said. Why it wasn't so pashut. And what the message for us today is. See, because this wasn't the first time that we were being called to this task. It happened many times before this and I believe it's critical for us to appreciate the mind-set of those returnees and non-returnees. It's important for us today.

 

The truth is from the time that Sancherev exiled the 10 tribes, 150 years before the destruction. Yeshaya and other prophets spoke of the redemption and ingathering of Exiles. Chazal tell us that it is for that reason that many of the good kings of Israel were considered to be Mashiach, like Yoshiyahu and Chizkiyahu. In fact, Yirmiyahu Ha'Navi even thought it was the Messianic time and he went to galus to try to bring the 10 tribes back. But we weren't worthy at that time and ultimately the Temple was destroyed. It's as the parsha tells us this week in the tochacha, we have chance after chance and if we don't grab the opportunity, it will get worse.

 

Even with the periods of Exile, there was hope maybe with Gedalia it would be rebuilt. There was hope that Yehoyakim could bring them back. The many moment though was when Cyrus gave the go ahead and Ezra returned with Zerubavel to be the Kohen. Chazal tell us if the Jews would've returned with them it could've all been over. But they didn't. And thus the work was halted it was put on pause. The children of Haman stopped it. The Shomronim made problems. The Jews in Bavel said… see we told you so…" It was another false hope that was crushed.

 

Thus when the time came in the time of Darius once again. Hashem gave Chagai prophecy tell the Jews to return. Chagai turned to the Jewish people and told them this prophecy, but they didn't buy it. What was their tayna? Sit back and hold your seats and tell me if this sounds familiar…

 

They claimed there were no miracles, like Egypt, and this was supposed to be even greater than then. They claimed that we were still in Galus. That the nations still ruled over us. That we can't upset them. Hashem through the earlier prophets spoke of a period when we will be at rest from our enemies and we're not. This is not like the period of Shlomo Ha'Melech. This is not what we were waiting for. They wanted a supernatural redemption and this wasn't it.

 

Sounds familiar? Sounds 2026. It's good to know history and Tanach. What was Hashem's response through Chagai. Let's see next week. 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE AFTERLIFE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

I have like 50 jokes about the unemployed. Trouble is, none of them work.

 

I’m unemployed and asked my friend for advice.

He told me: “Get a job at NASA, they always have space.”

 

Why couldn't the unemployed teacher see? She had no pupils!!

 

My wife and I are both unemployed. My mum died in a car crash. We have three children and we're all staying in my grandma's place, and my grandma died this week. My dad has to work at 73. I'll do any job to take care of my family. Please share.

Sincerely,

William, Prince of Wales

 

I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers...

Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.

 

My wife didn't leave me because I'm lazy, overweight and jobless. She left me because I don't know anything about baseball.

That was strike four

 

Why can't you trick an unemployed jester? Because he's nobody's fool!

 

What do you call an Apple employee who got laid off? Steve Jobless!

 

Being unemployed is horrible. I never thought I'd lose my job as a psychic.

 

Common synonyms of unemployed. Writer, blogger, and activist.

 

University: just the same as being unemployed. But your parents are proud of you.

 

The number of unemployed musicians today...Is disconcerting

 

People ask whether I’ll make cheese in my afterlife. I tell them, “There’s no whey in hell.

 

Ok, I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker. I’ve got nothing to hide.

 

I have 50 jokes about the unemployed. the thing is none of them make any cents

*******************************

The answer to this week's question is D– Finally! An easy one to get me out of this 50/50 rut I'm in. I'm not a big architecture guy or know many of the monuments. But Andartat Ha'Negev is a pretty famous one, commemorating the soldiers of the Negev brigade of the Palmach that fell in 1948.The second part as well is pretty easy. Tanch is one of my stronger points and the Broad wall in the Rova is where we tell the story of the Pesach night siege and miracle of Sancherevs army that were killed by an angel when we woke up the next morning.  So full point for me on this one and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having 22 points and the MOT having 9 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.