Karmiel

Karmiel
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Friday, August 21, 2026

Big Brother- Parshat Ki Teitzei 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 21st 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 42 8th of Elul 5785

 

Parshat Ki Teitzei

 Big Brother

Click here below for print edition


(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Ki Teitzei 2026  )


I don't remember which one of my kids it was. I'm pretty sure it was Yonah. We had just made Aliyah- 16 years ago this past week! Mazel Tov. We had all types of workers or as they call them here chappers- people that claim to be workers for a lot cheaper and that usually only do a half a job- not that Israeli workers are much better. I'm not always the best with names. They're all Dudu to me. But in Israel, they have an endearing term for people you bump into or that you want to call out for, or ask something randomly. The word is Achi- my brother. In America, people also say "Hey, Bro", but usually its just "Hey you". And Bro isn't the same as brother, to me at least. Because here when I say it, it actually feels warm and familial. It's nice. He's my brother. And that's even though he didn't finish the job he was supposed to do and left a mess all over the floor. He's my brother. He's Achi.

 

What was funny, was when I think it was Yonah or one of my littler kids one time asked where Achi was. I even once heard him calling this man about 40 years old than him, Hey- here's Achi!". The man looked down at this little child a bit taken aback. He could've been his father or grandfather even. But as far as Yonah was concerned. He was just Achi.

 

I remembered this story this week as I was reviewing the parsha and noted how many times this term "Achi" and in how many different contexts it appears. In fact there's about 15 mentions of our fellow Jew as a brother in our parsha, and even one of Edom who were ordered not to detest because he's also a brothah of ours- and not even from a different mothah. In fact besides the parsha's that talks about Yosef and his literal biological brothers (albeit- many from a different mothah..), there's no other parsha that comes close. It's the parsha of not only brotherly love, but of brotherly responsibility that seems to fall at the essence of our nation.

 

To make this even more fun, there's someone else besides even Edom that Rashi and the Ohr Ha'Chayim Ha'kadosh mention. Can anyone guess who it is? OK I'll tell you. It's Hashem. He's our brother. Our Heavenly divine ultimate Brother.

 

See, the parsha tells us about how if a person is sentenced to death and he is meant to be hung up we are not allowed to leave him hanging. In fact, according to the Rambam, they would pretty much string him up and take him down shortly afterwards. The reason? Because this hardened criminal looks like his brother. He looks like Hashem in whose image we were all formed. It's like twin brothers, Rashi says. And leaving him there on the tree might give someone the impression, that it's Hashem Himself sitting there hanging. Hey, there are some wacky religions out there with seemingly really dumb and gullible adherers that believe Hashem strung His own kid up on a crucifix, so why not? So we need to take this hardened executed criminal down. Because he might be confused for his Brother, Hashem; Our holy heavenly brother.

 

Now I think, that most of us can relate to Hashem as our King. As well, we like to think of Hashem as our Father in heaven. Tatteh… Our merciful Father. In this month of Elul the going and famous acronym of Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li- that Hashem is our beloved. Shir Hashirim is busy with love metaphors right and left between us and Hashem and even this week's Haftorah as well describes our relationship as a wife that has been forlorn, the wife of our childhood years. We're lovers with Hashem and I get that as well. But what's this brother relationship all about. What is meant to mean?

 

On that note as well, it seems fascinating that on one hand we are referring to Hashem as our brother and yet just a few verses later we are told that Edom/Esau is our brother as well. Wow! Talk about family dysfunction.

 

Hebrew letters and particularly words that have two-word roots to them can reflect and hold within them the secrets of their essence. So the word Av which means father is the beginning of everything. It's Aleph Beis. Eim- which Aleph Mem is from the beginning, from Hashem followed by the power to continue forward and remember where came from. That comes from the mother. She is the source of that faith that we draw from and that we always tap back into. She's the mem- the Mom. Ach however is the numerical value that transcends this world. It's 1 to 8. The finite world is 1-7 the number 8 which is the letter chet is beyond this world. It's the next world. It's moving out of the here and now and present. That's what a brother relationship is all about. It's the bonding of two similar beings each with similar and yet different missions that come from one source and that's job is to join and work together with one another to transcend this world. To move beyond the finite and what seems to be in front of us.

 

Let's take this parsha and examine brotherhood with this concept. The first of course as mentioned is that we need to see even in the criminal that Hashem is our brother there hanging to. That even when someone sins. It's his brother that sins. His brother sinned and is obviously cuplable but guess who was also part of that sin? Hashem. Hashem allowed him to sin. Hashem made his arms move. His feet walk. His bullet hit. Hashem sinned as well. He sinned and allowed the sin to happen, because there's a divine plan to, that's beyond this world. Our sages tell us that the Jewish people only sinned by the golden calf in order to teach the world the power of communal Teshuva that followed. The same is true on an individual level with King David sinning with Batsheva. From the sin of the Golden Calf came out Yom Kippur. From Dovid and Batsheva comes out Mashiach. There was a brotherly plan that is beyond this world when sin happens. We need to see that. For Hashem is our brother to fulfill that plan.

 

Moving on the most mentions of brotherhood in our parsha is the next parsha that talks about returning lost objects of your brother to him. The Ohr HaChayim on this parsha immediately reads this parsha as not only being literal but as being read as our brother being Hashem. There are Jews that are oxen and some that are sheep. They're strong and mighty or their passive and followers and they're lost. They've been pushed away from our heavenly brother and our shared mission. It's our job as brothers to return them to Him. It's part of our mission as brothers. And if our brother is not close to us, then we have to take that sheep and cow into our own houses. Our study halls, our shuls, our schools we need to bring them back. If that doesn't work then find something common that we share. Their clothing, their donkey, their physical and material well-being. Be there for them. Help them, care for them, until our Brother seeks them out. Seeks us out. Finds us again and returns us to His house. The Bais Ha'Mikdash Yerushalayim. But never never hide your eyes from your brother. You can't. Because denying your brother is really denying yourself. What a parsha. What a mission!

 

But it's not just when he's lost. When he's not frum. When he's wandering. Even when he's with you and just fallen, the next parsha tells us. He sins. He messes up. He did something to break your brotherhood or to disappoint you. Don’t hide your eyes from him. Don't walk away. Hakeim Takim Imo- stand together with him and pick him up with you. It's a fascinating term. Because seemingly you're not falling. You don't need to stand up. You could just stick down a hand and lift him up. But that's not enough. You have to lift him up with you. Because the only way that you can truly lift him up is if you realize that you're also down there on the floor with him. Because unless he gets up, you can't do your mission. You're in the plane but there's no co-pilot and you can't handle the plane by yourself. So it's imo- with him together you can both get up. You can both transcend this world and bring it to the place beyond where it is. You can bring it back to the Garden of Eden.

 

Once we have that mission, the Torah tells us we have an even greater ultimate mission. It's bringing up brother Esau as well. It's not something we need to do now. It's not something we can accomplish until we are all united and as one ourselves. But once we are, ultimately Judaism and our chosen nationhood job is to uplift Esau. He's the son of Yaakov and Rivka. He has a shared role with us in the eternal world. He's our brother as well. What does that mean? We don't have to treat him like a brother. In fact quite the opposite the next parsha after that tells us that we are even meant to charge him interest as opposed to our Jewish brothers from whom we are forbidden to. Rather our job to Esau is to not detest him. We can't hide and ignore our eyes from the fact that he is also part of our ultimate mission once we accomplish and find our own brotherhood amongst each other first. Once we transcend our own world together than we can bring him into that world as well. He can come up to cloud 8. The ches of the ach will be fulfilled with him as well.

 

Fascinatingly enough the next two brother mentions in the parsha are no longer singular but plural. We are becoming a family of brothers. It's the mitzva and prohibition to kidnap and enslave someone from your brothers, and it's from withholding payment and your brother that works for you. Again, a fascinating perspective in the light of what brotherhood means. Every person has a job. We're all on the same team. Don't steal your brothers' ball and throw into the hoop. And don't not pass him the ball that he needs to shoot it into. He's your brother. He's your teammate. We're trying to win the game here. And we need to see every single yid as part of that big picture. Not just the guys that wear the same color hat or kippa as me. Not just the one that drives the same style car I do. Not just the one that has the best shot or the most Torah. As we started off this brother parsha, even the criminal on the tree is Hashem. He's on Team God.

 

The last parsha and perhaps the biggest chiddush and most important one is the laws of yibbum. When the brothers are finally all together. We're all one. The family is whole. It's the time that we're longing for. It's time for Hashem to reveal Himself. For the Big brother to finally bring the ball home. And then something happens. One of the brothers dies. We're broken. We've lost another soldier. He was a brother. He was my brother. He was the image of Hashem. He was my teammate that I was supposed to stand next to by the championship podium on the Temple Mount and see the Shechina and get the gold medal with. And he's dead. He's not here. Now what?

 

Here the Torah tells us the biggest and deepest secret of all. There is a mitzva of yibum. We can bring him to life and carry on his name even after he's dead. We can provide seed for him. We can make sure that his name is never erased from our family. The son that comes out of that union with his widow will be that brother's son. We can literally pick him up from the dead and bring him back. Because we are one with him. Because the brothers are all together. It is through yibum throughout the Torah that spark of Mashiach is revealed. It's is through Yehuda and Tamar. It's through Boaz and Rus. It's through us being brother together.

 

Perhaps the most popular and sung song throughout this war that we've been through and are hopefully nearing its glorious final culmination-which will be the revelation of Mashiach has been the prayer of Acheinu Kol Beis Yisrael- our brother the entire house of Israel. We've sung it again and again. We've looked at our soldiers, at our lost brothers, our hostages, our widows orphans as brothers and sisters. We've connected, we've donated, we've returned again and again. Hashem has made sure that we can't hide our eyes from one another. We're in a world where we see it all. At the same time we're in a world where it seems that we're the only ones seeing it all, as the world keeps hiding its eyes from what's unfolding before them and the evil and danger of the conquest of these Amalekite enemies of Hashem and us. This past Shabbos we welcomed in and blessed the month of Elul. As we do every month we include in there a prayer.

 

Mi She'asa Nisim La'Avoseinu- He who preformed miracle for our ancestors and redeemed them slavery to freedom. He should redeem us speedily and gather us in from the four corners of the land. Chaveirim kol Yisrael – All Jews should be friends. And we say Amen.

 

A brother is a friend. He's your friend. Friends are forever. Geula can only appear and all of our prayers always conclude. Im kol Yisrael acheihem- with all of Israel as brother. May this month of Elul bring that finally day of eternal brotherhood and the complete redemption.

 

Have a brotherly bonding Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

  

************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Ver shemt zikh fun zeineh mishpocheh, oif dem iz kain brocheh.."-, Whoever is ashamed of his family will have no blessings.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

12. The first Intifada in Israel after the establishment of the state began in the year of _________

What did the Agranat Commission investigate?

A. The circumstances that led to the outbreak of the Yom Kippur War

B. The background of the October 2000 events

C. The Lavon Affair

D. The pollution events in Nahal Kishon

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The Mysterious Sanballat Enemy -333 BC One of the best parts of learning Tanach is that one looks back then at what was taking place and you don't necessarily feel so bad about what's going on today in our world. As Rabbi Wein Z"L always used to say all the world needs is one big history lesson and that is even so much truer for our nation. It's why the Torah tells us that it is a mitzva to binu shnos dor v'dor- to learn and understand the repetition of what happens in generation after generation. So now back to our story.


As we noted until now we have Nechemia returning and rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. The Bais Hamikdash is being built. It seems like we are on the cusp of the redemption being completed- besides for all of the Jews not yet coming home. The prophecies are being fulfilled. And of course now we have the detractors and the people that are too nervous for the ramifications of a returned redeemed Jewish Nation. They prefer the Status quo. They did well under the old regime after the Holocaust of the destruction less than 100 years before. And therefore they would do everything in their hands to prevent it.


The leader of the opposition party was someone named Sanballat Ha"Horani. Seemingly he was not really so Jewish and was a Samarian whose family had been exiled here by Sancheirev and relocated to the Shomron. They pretended to be the "real Jews" and it took a lot of time to sort them out because they had good connections. How deep did their connections go? Well, Sanballat's daughter actually married one of the Kohanim Gedolim until eventually Nechemia chucked him out. That's deep state, Rabosai!


Sanballat tried a few methods to prevent Nechemia from building the Temple. His first plan was by getting world support against Israel. He lobbied Darius and the world Empire to make them stop. But Nechemia was too well connected and he was able to get the proper permits and assure Darius that he and we weren't a threat.


Plan B. was to try and get hoodlums to try to attack and prevent the actual construction. They tried blowing up the light rail in Jerusalem. Or to be more accurate the walls. But again Nechemia put ot guards at night and armed workers and they kept plugging away.


With no option left the final plan was to try to get the people to go against Nechemia in the political arena. How was he going to do that? By spreading fake news and creating a scandal. Sound familiar? What was the scandal? He got a false prophet to convince Nechemia to go up to the Temple Mount to the place where non-kohanim are not allowed to go. The prophet Shemaya assured him that this would be for his own safety as people were plotting to kill him and that the laws of the Temple purity don't apply while the walls are not up yet. Yet again Nechemia sees through the plot and refuses to go.


See, we always have these haters. We always have forces that will try to prevent us. What's also fascinating about Sanballat is that he is one of those figures in Tanach that we actually have archeological evidence about in which archeology proves the authenticity of Tanach- not that it needs that verification. But at the turn of the 19th century in Egypt there was found a whole bunch of Papyrus scrolls by a place called Elephantyne that describes the large Jewish community there who describe being exiled from the Temple and they mention Sanballat and his children by name. That's pretty cool. See, Hashem doesn't want us forgetting our history.


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ponecha-your-faceI composed this the Elul before the war. It's a gorgeous song that we recite in our daily additional L'Dovid Psalm that Hashem shouldn't hide his face from us. Dovid Lowy knocks it out of the park with vocals and heartfelt arrangements.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CVFG0xCFwc&list=RD2CVFG0xCFwc&start_radio=1   – Eitan Katz's Niggun Teshuva redone for Elul

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTFcbgZDdJs&list=RDhTFcbgZDdJs&start_radio=1  – Yackov Shwekey's back with a new Ani L'Dodi Li for Elul

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SvvztlByuQ&list=RD6SvvztlByuQ&start_radio=1 Yehuda Green with a new Elul release Shuva Eilai


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilt50qzCLhQ&list=RDilt50qzCLhQ&start_radio=1 – and of course Ki Teitzeit wouldn't be complete without the classic Kein Tzipor of Yigal Calek with this Shlomo Simcha take on it…


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE BROTHER JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

 A birthday card I received from my brother...Forget about the past you can't change it, forget about the future, you can't predict it, forget about the present...



Today, I met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother, Broco Lee.

I met a few of his cousins too;

The one who can't take a joke, Serious Lee.

The one is always there last minute, Sudden Lee.

The one who doesn't understand Metaphors, Literal Lee.

The one who is so sure of himself, Definite Lee.

The one you can always predict, Usual Lee.

The one whose always smiling, Happy Lee.

The one in disgrace, Shameful Lee.

The one that isn't very good looking, Ug Lee

AND,

The one who likes perfection, Exact Lee

In short, I met the whole Fama Lee.


I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party. 


So my twin brother called me from prison, He said, "So you know how we finish each others' sentences?


My brother was murdered today

Cop: do you mind identifying the body \[puts hand on my shoulder\] I have to warn you the body was hacked up.

me: \[tearing up\] yes that's my brother Reese.

Cop: you're sure?

Me: \[nodding\] those are Reese's Pieces. 


I got the new Iphone for my brother. Best trade ever. 


I once told someone I had a half brother. They said “Oh different mother or different father?”

 And I said “Neither, there was a shark attack”


My brother is always grumpy at breakfast, I'm always happy at funerals. He's not a morning person, I'm not a mourning person 


My brother and I laugh at how Competitive we were as kids. But I laugh more. 


There were two brothers who lived in the country. One day they decided they wanted to move to the big city and get jobs there. When they got there they went to the employment office to ask for jobs.

The first brother went in for an interview and less than 10 minutes later he comes out of the office jumping for joy yelling "hoo wee! I got a job!"

The second brother was so happy and excited for what he would get. He enters the office and the interviewer asks him what his skills are.

"Well" he says, "I can cut and split wood like crazy"

The interviewer looks at him and says "Hmm, well it's going to be hard to find a job in this city with those skills. Everything in the city is steel and concrete, we don't have much use for a wood cutter"

Disheartened, the second brother says "but my brother was just in here and he got a job"

The interviewer says, "yes but he says he can pilot, and that's a valuable skill"

The brother sits up in his chair and says, "that may be so, but he can't pile'it 'till I cut it"

 

After years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. "Yes, you were son," his mother said, as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back."…

 My brother and I used to fight in the pool until the day our mom told us to divide it in half and stay on our side. I picked the top half.

 

***************************************

The answer to this week's question is B- Wow!!! I'm impressed with myself this wasn't an easy question. I'm not always good with years. But the first Intifada I got right was in fact in 1987. I knew it was before I studied in Israel which was in the 1990 and after Lebanon War which was 1982. And I somehow remembered 1987 being an important year. So I guessed right! BTW that's also the year that Hamas was founded. The second part as well I got right. I was sure the Araganat commission was important and related to a War and was pretty sure it was Yom Kippur was and was right. By the way just as I'm sure this war commission will clear the Left of any responsibility back then Golda was given a free ride also. Somethings never change. So the score next to Naomi Shemer there. Her face is on 20 shekel bill. So 50/50 on this one and the score is Rabbi Schwartz having 9 points and the MOT having 3 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam

 

Friday, August 14, 2026

Parshat Shoftim- Goyish!- 2026/ 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 14th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 41 1st of Elul 5785


(Due to serious technical technology issues- like phone swimmin on bottom of yarden.. you get a golden oldie E-mail this week.. Chazara is the Ikar :))

 

Parshat Shoftim

 

Goyish

Click here below for print edition

(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Shoftim 2026  )


Why do you dress like that?” I asked them. I was in one of my end of summer modes where I’m just ready to pick fights with my tourists. Don’t get me wrong I love Chasidim. I have plenty of Chasidish blood in me and I come from very haymish roots, my grandfather being close to the Tosher Rebbe and Reb Hersheleh of Spink. I even wear a gartel on Shabbos-when I remember. But I wanted to make a point. An important point, that I think most people don’t get. Particularly American Chasidim and Chareidim.

 

 “So what is it?”, I asked them. “What’s with the Shtreiemel, the frock, the white socks? Why don’t you dress like everyone else?” By the way this is not only a question for chasidim. You gotta love these cool litvaks that think they dress normal and fancy, like they walked out of GQ, when the truth is that they pretty don’t really fit in as well. Some have the tzitzis sticking out, others have their black hats which they think look pretty cool especially when they wear them on a tilt. Nobody told them that hats went out in the 50’s already. So, they’re also wearing out of date clothing that make them stand out and that really is not trendy to anybody but their chevra in yeshiva.

 

 Now the honest answer to why they’re wearing this clothing is that ironically enough they think it looks cool, . They think that the shtreimel with the hairs standing up are really cool. The beketcheh with the funny little designs- that’s not mamash black but a little tinge off-black and it even has some cute little flower design on it if you look really hard.are "chikav". Or how about that tiny rimmed small black hat that really was made for a Bar Mitzva boy that you’re wearing? C’mon, do you really think you look cool in it? That would be the honest answer to why you’re wearing them. It has nothing to do with tradition, with religion, or with Hashem. It’s just about the yeshivish or chasidish fashion statement of the time. But nobody will admit that.

 

 My tourists fumfeh a bit. Well... it’s about not dressing like the goyim. It’s about tradition. It’s about keeping the customs of our ancestors…they mumble. I don’t buy it, I tell them. I think it’s much much holier than that. From the way that I understand it, the reason why we dress differently and even in yeshivos why our Rabbis put such an emphasis on wearing your hat and jackets so much, is so that we remember that we are not them. We are not like the people in the street. We are Hashem’s holy nation. We are exiled here. This is not our home. We are foreigners. We want to remember that always, and it will help stop us from assimilating. From thinking we are just like them. From doing the things that they do and going the places they go. We don’t belong here, and we want to remind ourselves that we stand out like a sore thumb.

 

 My tourists nod their head in agreement. It makes sense. They’ve heard that before. They know it’s an important value. They’ve now fallen into my trap. Well, if that’s true, I continue, then perhaps you can explain to me why you feel more comfortable walking around on 5th Avenue in the Diamond district, or in your tenements and buildings in the Bronx or your nursing homes in who knows what hole in the country you found them in Mississippi or in Tennessee than you feel when you’re walking around here in Eretz Yisrael. Why do you come here and feel that you can’t wait to get back to “your” normal country where they bag your groceries and thank you for shopping in Walmart? Where they speak “your” language, where they understand and share "your" mentality. Where you feel like you’re at home even in your funny white socks. But here, the holy land, the land that all of your ancestors dreamed of coming to, the only place where your neshoma really has a connection to, the only place where any mitzva you do really has any meaning. Why over here do you feel like you don’t belong. That it’s not your country. That you’re a foreigner.

 

Now don’t give me any baloney, about non-religious Jews, or anti-religious governments, or about scary Arabs and fears of your kids going to the army. Please… They’re killing Jews all over the place in the US. The goyim there will continue and only escalate the rapidly growing antisemitism rate that’s increasing exponentially each year. You’re smart enough to know that America isn’t different than everywhere else we’ve lived in 2000 years of Galus. That “Never Again” is “always again’. You have an updated passport “just in case” or for when that day happens eventually. Agudas Yisrael lobbying and frum congressman and the OU and shmearing all the politicians isn’t going to make much of a difference, and neither is the pizza you brought to the local Fire Station or the money you gave to the Police Benevolent Society – which helps you get off of speeding tickets. They’re making the same “gezeiros” against education over there, and it’s the frum guys that aren’t letting your kids into the right schools anyways. It's not even the Goyim. Yeah…You really shouldn’t be feeling at home there. You’re even wearing the funny clothing to remember that. Think about that next time you put on your shtreimel or Borsalino.

 

But the problem and perhaps the biggest problem we’ve always suffered from is that we forget how special and different we are. How much we are not like them. How pretty much the worst thing you once were able to call a Jew is a “goy”. You look like a “goy”. You dress like a “sheigitz”. I think the English for some reason call them a “yuk” or a “beitz”. I never really understood where that comes from. It’s not a modern-day problem. It’s always been our problem. The Yiddish phrase is “vi tzi kristaltzach-yiddletzach”- what goes on in the goyish world eventually permeates and makes its way into our world. In most cases we even out-do them. We become more Goyish, more Greek, more Roman, more Spanish, more German, more patriotic American Yankee Doodle with our BBQ’s and flags than they do. And unfortunately for us, Hashem has to always send us reminders, because the funny clothes doesn’t seem to workto remind us that we really don’t belong there. We really are not like them. We really need to come home.

 

 This week’s parsha repeatedly, perhaps more than any parsha, keeps hitting this theme home again and again. Right at the beginning of the Parsha we start off with the need to set up judges and enforcement officers that are different than them. There are no bribes, no showing favoritism, it’s not about who has the better lawyer or deeper pockets. It’s about pursuing real true righteous justice. Judges that are tzadikim, courts that have no political influences. This is the trick, Moshe tells us, to inheriting and uplifting the land.

 

Right next to that it tells us not to plant trees next to our Beis Hamikdash where the court sits and not to worship in the style of the goyim on a one stone altar. This is despite the fact that our forefathers did it that way interestingly enough… It was the mesorah… It was tradition. But guess what? It became goyish. And we Jews don’t do the goyish thing. In fact the Maharam Shick writes that we shouldn’t even plant trees near shul for that reason. We certainly don’t put flowers on a grave. Goyish is bad and we Jews have to stop looking and learning from them how to do things.

 

 It continues and continues this theme. Don’t bring sacrifices with blemishes even ones that are passing and that go away. Interestingly enough, the Talmud tells us that it was this precise law in the story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza that caused the destruction of the Temple when the Caesar sent an offering with that type of blemish and the Jews refused to bring it. For goyim blemishes are not a problem. Their sacrifices don’t have to be perfect. For us Jews that have a perfect God our sacrifices can be nothing but the best.

 

It then tells us about Jews that worship like the goyim do and how when they try to sell their politically correct ideology to us and get us to join them we need to kill them. We should have no tolerance for Jews that try to make us like goyim. It’s too dangerous. We’re too susceptible.

 

 Even when we try to set up our own “government” the Torah tells us be careful that what we do shouldn’t be like the goyim. Don’t look to them to have a king like theirs. Ours has to have a Torah with him all the time. He can’t be too rich. He can’t have too many horses. He can’t even have too many wives. We’re not looking for Henry the 8th. Even Shlomo Hamelech fell into the goyish trap of this one. The man had 1000 wives. If you make a cheshbon he was in sheva brachos every week of his life. Most of them were idolators. Stay away from goyim. Don’t become goyish. Even if you’re the smartest person in the world.

 

It keeps going and going. When we come to the land don’t fall into the trap of all of the narishkeit of the goyim. Don’t try to figure out the future. Don’t sacrifice your kids on the altar of whatever religious or politically correct mishigas their society is telling you is common place. Don’t pay any attention to any of their pundits or future tellers and yay or nay sayers about what will be, what has to be, what should be. Stop listening to the stupid radio talk show hosts. It’s all baloney. We have Hashem. We work with faith. We don’t need to know what will happen because we know that whatever will be is good. It’s from our Father. It’s not from whoever is elected. It’s not from the President. It’s not from my man in congress. It’s not from the United Nations. It’s not even from Bibi and certainly not Lapid but not even from the Chareidi or religious parties. Tamim tihiyeh im Hashem elokecha- stop being so busy with all the future things that might happen if you don’t listen to what they’re telling you to do.

 

 Goyim have prophets. We have them too. Or we used to at least. But we also have fake ones that are like goyim. So stay away from anything that sounds sketchy. That sounds goyish. Oh and kill the ones that you know are false. They’re a danger. Because in general they will play on our biggest weakness to try to make us like the goyim. To try to make us comfortable in the goyish ways we’ve picked up. They tell us that we’re good Jews still and Hashem is happy with us and doesn’t mind so much if we don’t follow His ways. If we ignore some of the important commandments, like idolatry, like Greek culture, like lashon hara and sinas chinam, like staying in Boro Park, Monsey and Lakewood and not moving to Eretz Yisrael. Chutz la’aretz is not so bad. It’s not so important to move to the land Hashem promised us and told us to live in… The koach ha’torah will protect us. Uhh.. huh…Yeah.. that’s worked out really well for us in the past…

 

There’s an amazing mitzva that’s thrown in here of lo sasig gevul rayacha- don’t encroach on your neighbor’s field. Rashi notes that the Torah already told us that it’s prohibited to steal, what’s this additional mitzva? He says that this additional one of stealing your neighbors land is only applicable in Israel. If you build on your neighbor’s field in America or in Monsey, you won’t be violating this prohibition. (although it’s still stealing). Why? Because guess what? It’s not really your land. It’s the goys. It’s their country that you just happened to be stuck in. Don’t ever make the mistake that you really have any real property rights on it in this regard. They can and probably will throw you out pretty soon. Only in Eretz Yisrael, the land you were meant to inherit is the land sacredly yours. Only here does it really make a difference if someone moves his fence an inch or two onto the border of your lot. Because here every inch only you can uplift. Only your neshoma can bring down the shechina to. Over there it’s just a tenting campground until the next step in your galus. Until you make it home. Don’t ever forget that in your shtreimel and black hat.

 

I’m not going to continue. You should go on yourselves and read the rest of the parsha. Make sure to spend time reading about how we should wipe out all of the goyim in Eretz Yisrael and all of our enemies that don’t make peace with us. That don’t come over to our team. We are the light of the world. The world we are meant to create that will shine out the light of Hashem to needs to be built on the foundation that we have that light. They are meant to be taking tips from us on how to receive it. We approach the High Holidays in this month of Elul. On the first day of Rosh Hashana, Hashem will judge us. The judgement on us is what will impact the rest of the worlds on the 2nd day of Rosh Hashana. But this is the month to remember who we are and what rests on our shoulders. The clothing we wear may not be enough of a reminder. It’s time to get on the royal garments the nation of the King should be wearing. His coronation is right around the corner.          


Have a super duper Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz


 



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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Abi gezunt—dos leben ken men zikh alain nemen."-, Be sure to stay healthy—you can kill yourself later.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

32. The material from which most of the unique tools discovered in the Treasure Cave at Nahal

Mishmar are made is: ______


In which of the following ancient texts is Jerusalem mentioned?

A. The Gezer Calendar

B. Papyrus Anastasi

C. el-Amarna Letters

D. Mari Archival texts

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey   –My most beautiful Elul L'Dovid Composition. This song is the whole month. LULAY with the amazing Dovid Lowy on vocals and arrangements!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAelDAbKoX0&list=RDqAelDAbKoX0&start_radio=1    – Tzemach Tzedek Niggun.. Holy of the Holies…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-su4FGXbpbw&list=RD-su4FGXbpbw&start_radio=1   – Nissim Black's latest Niggun with Aaron Holder – I won't let you down!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJrvxh_XAro&list=RDTJrvxh_XAro&start_radio=1Benny Friedmans latest Uve'oso Yom- On that day!1

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


A Repeat of last week… Sorry no time… Chazara is the Ikar…

 

Hostage Return, but Ultimate Failure - 586 BC  - After the assassination of Gedalia ben Achikam, the day after Rosh Hashana and just a few months after the Churban, Klal Yisrael was in a bad despondent mode. Yishmael Ben Netanya after murdering the other Jews in Mitzpa, took hostages and captives with him back towards Amon. Amon of course is Jordan today. In fact it's why the capital is called Amman. Gedaliah's surviving adviser who had warned him about the impending attack and who Gedalia disregarded, felt it was up to him to return the hostages home. He took the special forces unit and chased after Yishmael, ultimately catching up with them by the pool of Givon, which is in the modern village of El Jib near Nebi Samuel and freeing them, Yishmael however escaped back to Ammon.


Here we once again come to a turning point or perhaps more accurately a failed opportunity. Much like the Palestinians and perhaps even the Israelis today, we never fail to miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. The Navi Yirmiyahu and his student Baruch Ben Neriyah tell Yochanan and the Jews that they should stay in Israel. Don't run away. Don't leave the country. We can rebuild. We can start again. Hashem will be with us. Yet, Yochanan and the Jews with him are too fearful. They are scared that Nevuchadnezzar will come take revenge upon them, for the murder of his appointed regent Gedalia. Thus they decide to flee to Mitzrayim. To Pharaoh, he will protect us from Nevuchadnezzar. There we will have food, we will have security. Hashem has left the holy land. We need to start again with our Torah in Africa, Spain, Portugal, England, Amsterdam, Poland, Hungary, Czechoslavakia, Volozhin, Vilna, Mezibuzh, Mezritch, America, Lakewood, JacksonEgypt.


Yirmiyahu pleads with them to stay. He tells them Hashem regrets having destroyed the Temple. He will protect us from Nevuchadnezzar. Egypt is a bad move. It's not safe. Nowhere else will be safe. They will ultimately kill us there. They will kill us everywhere. Hashem wants us in His Home. In His palace. Please don't leave. Please stay. Here it will be good. But the people don't listen. They not only go down to Egypt, but they even take Yirmiyahu and Baruch with them. And thus the era of the first Temple ends. Not with the churban, but rather with our obstinate stiff-necked refusal to believe that Hashem wanted and wants us to remain here in Israel. To be at His side. What happens to the Jews who get exiled to Egypt. Stay tuned next week, but I imagine can you probably figure it out.


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE FASHION JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

A fat fashion designer found a time machine one day.Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button. He soon found himself in ancient Rome.

He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre. Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeeper if they can sell him XL shirts.

That question made the shopkeeper curious, thus he asked the designer:

“Do you really want to purchase that many shirts?”

(it took me twice to get that one…)

 

Did you hear about the fashion designer who was on the phone while driving and nearly got into an accident? It was a clothes call.

 

Why can't fashion designers play uno? Because they always draw a cardigan.

 

What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything? Calvin Deklein.

 

2020's fashion was really terrible. Probably because nobody had any taste

 

COVID is like fashion…

We started hearing about it in Italy…

Became popular in LA and NYC…

Florida ignored it…

And it was all made in China in the end.

 

How many trainers will it take to teach Tommy fashion design? None. Hilfiger it out..

 

Never talk to me about fashion. It just goes in one year and out the other.

 

My doctor really likes my choice of sensible footwear...I overheard him telling his colleague that I had "Serious healthy shoes".

 

Little old Yankel gets on a crowded city bus, every seat filled. A tough looking goy with a lot of prison tattoos is kicking his feet onto the seat opposite him, keeping it from being used. Yankel waddles over says 'scuze me' and pushes the tough bloke's legs off the seat.

Agitated, the tough bloke starts pointing to the prison tats on his face and says 'You know what these mean, little man?'

Yankel nods in a knowing fashion "means you got caught"

 

A guy goes into a bar wearing a shirt open at the collar, and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one.

He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, and manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over, and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in - just don't start anything."

 

I once met someone who refused to talk to people unless the conversation was about fashion.

He was very clothes minded.

 

My lawyer has such a good sense of fashion, he wins every court case

 

Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques.

 

Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned? Tailors old as time…OYY…

 

What do you call yoshka at a fashion show? A Cross Dresser…. YES!!


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The answer to this week”s question is C I'm not even going to try to explain this one. I got it wrong. This is really a togh exam. I guessed Iron and the answer is copper. I guessed Gezer and the answer is Al Amarna. That’s' all I'm wrong. The score is now Rabbi Schwartz 19.5 Ministry of Tourism 12.5 on this exam so far. As of now it's just a passing grade which is fine. One more question next week. Let's see how I do.