About that Money- Parshat Toldot 5787 2026

 from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

November 13^th 2026 -Volume 17 Issue 6 3^rd of Kisleiv 5787

 

Parshat Toldos

 About that Money…

 

Click here below for print edition

(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Toldos 2026  )

So Trump announced that he's not giving us any money any more. It seems, Bibi is fine with this and most Israelis and certainly Anglos that moved here that I talk to think it's a good thing. What do we need them for? Their money comes with a price. We need to be independent. Now, we can do what we need to do. We don't have to ask them permission and wait for their approval. We're on our own. We're self-sufficient. This is a good thing. It's a proud moment for the Jewish people. We don't need your green Beh-CASH-eh, America. We're fine without you.

 

On the other hand, there are others that think this is not such a good thing. Like me, they understand that the money we get from America really doesn't and will not change anything about Israel's foreign policy or how we will act or respond or defend ourselves- or perhaps more accurately and pathetically not defend ourselves and act. It doesn't make a difference how much money we get or don't get from America, or how "independent" we believe we are; we're not really going to go in and wipe out our enemies, conquer our biblical homeland- which of course includes major parts of Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, Egypt and even Iraq, forget about Gaza and the West Bank. We're not going to stop providing "humanitarian" aid, to the animals that are sworn to destroy us. We won't even stop giving them weapons to kill us with.

 

Financial independence won't do anything more to inspire us to act and respond and doing what we need to do, than hundreds of dead babies, burnt women, kidnapped citizens and murdered soldiers. It won't give us the strength and fortitude, to fulfill our Divinely given mandate and to realize that no other country in the world would tolerate and allow or has ever allowed such and enemy to grow in their midst… Ok except for maybe the entire Europe and now the United States as well… lately. But certainly not historically and any country that still has a brain on its head.

 

So the only thing we're out on in this deal and that will change is that we lose out on the money. That's not a good thing. As well, it's a sign of the increasing anti-Israel/Semitism (same thing…) in America that Trump is obviously responding to. It's a biblical fulfillment of bringing us closer and closer to the day and moment that the Torah and prophets tell us when we will truly understand that we're alone. am levadad yishkon- a nation without any world support. Without any US Benjamins helping us out. They're the last hold-outs for us to finally get it. And Baruch Hashem, after the last elections in America, I think we're getting closer and closer to that beautiful promised day, when as Shlomo Carlebach, so beautifully sang…

 

"Israel has no friends in the world….

The holy land, the holy people of Israel are all alone…

An am levadad yishkon…

But you know what we have….?"

 

Ok, you know the rest of it. You're humming it already… If you don't watch the video below.

 

Now, I happen to have a bit of a different take on this whole thing. I usually do. It's why you come here weekly. And as usual. It's not just my dei'ah, strong personal opinion. It's Daas Torah. It's this week's Parsha. It's eye-opening. It turns everything on its head. It's where I and you should always turn to, if you want to understand what's going on really in the world. What our view should be, and where this whole ride is taking us. It's kind of the reason, why Hashem gave us the Book. It's why we're meant to learn it every week. And why it's eternal. It's for us today.

 

But before we get to the speech/letter that I think needs to be sent to Trump or perhaps even made at the UN from the State of Israel, let's take a look at the last few parshiyot and perhaps even more fundamentally at the lives of our Patriarchs and what Hashem counterintuitively wants from them and from us. What I think becomes pretty much very obvious is that our and their jobs on this world is not to sit quietly and study Torah and "serve Him" in our own very quiet personal way in our ghettos and Bais Medrash. It's not and has never been about our own "personal" growth. It starts with the first statement/revelation to Avraham Avinu back in Lech Lecha, where Hashem tells him to leave all of the Torah community that he built for decades behind and head off to the lowest and most impure place on the world in Canaan. Yet, even upon arriving there Avraham is quickly sent down to Egypt, more impurity, a perhaps even lower place. It's clear Hashem doesn't want him to stay in Lakewood.

 

The stories and orders continue. He's meant to fight with Gaza and Avimelech. He has to go wage war against Nimrod and most of the world. He's digging wells right and left and continuously having his rights challenged. He has to deal with Sodom. With Yishmael. He has to take his son up to a mountain and almost slaughter him and then deal with Benei Cheit to get a burial ground. That's not a life of Torah and personal growth and Kollel study.

 

The same is true for Yitzchak as we see in this week's parsha. Same thing. Gaza. Plishtim wells. Kidnapped wives. Fights. Standing up for himself. And then of course continuous anguish about his psychopathic son Esau who is clearly going off the derech. The plan of Hashem for them and for us- as we're told ma'aseh avos siman la'banim- the actions of our Patriarchs are meant to be our signs for what we are meant to undergo, accomplish and what our mission is, is clearly not about finding a nice corner in the Bais Medrash and keeping our head down and learning and praying.

 

Finally, this week, is when it all comes to a head. We have Yaakov and Esau. They are born, both Jewish by the way… to Jewish parents- unlike Yishmael. They would seem to have divergent roles, we are told. It's a nice plan. Yaakov sits in Kollel, while Esau joins the IDF. The Torah is kept pristine and pure and holy. While Esau does the dirty work of eradicating evil, hunting, killing, conquering and supporting his brother in Torah. It's a good plan. It may actually work one day. But first we have to fix a few problems with it.

 

See, in that plan, Yaakov was meant to be the first born. He needs to lead his brother Esau. He needs to be the connector. The guide. The leader. Esau though, ever the aggressor, pushes out first. He's anxious to get out there and destroy those avoda zara houses every time his mother passes them. I mean imaginably he wasn't pushing to worship there, while he was in his mother's womb and before he had a yetzer hara… (like how I did that there…😊).

 

Yet he needs guidance and he needs direction. He needs someone with the Torah view of Yaakov to teach him, lead him, guide him in order that the function of Creation which is that the entire world will recognize Hashem will come to actuality. But Esau, jumps the gun. Figuratively and literally. Yaakov is born second. He goes quietly into his tent and makes a little ghetto for himself. The world is not his problem. He just needs Torah Torah Torah. Learning is geshmak. I feel close to Hashem. The world is a scary place. There are smartphones out there. And war and money and college can all make me go off the derech. Better stay in my tent.

 

But Hashem has a different plan. See, it's not about your personal growth, Yaakov. It's about Me. It's about the world. It's about getting Esau to where he needs to get to. You need to have the blessing and mandate of being…. Get this straight. The gevir l'achecha- you Yaakov are the master of your brother. Nations need to bow down to you. The worlds regimes need to bow to you. The children of your mother- Esau, the world, all his descendants. Rome, Russia, America Europe- all need to bow down to you. The ones that curse you will be cursed and the ones that bless you will be blessed. This is the blessing of Yitzchak to Yaakov. This is the blessing of Avraham that he passes down to him.

 

When Esau comes crying afterwards for the blessing, like a little baby, Yitzchak tells him that its too late. He is a slave. Yaakov is his master. Not just his master but all he owns belongs to Yaakov. Even when he gives him a bit of a consolation blessing afterwards it is tempered by the fact he still and will always remain his slave. His only respite will be when Yaakov doesn't follow the Torah, he can remove the yoke a bit and loosen his collar. But America works for us. We don't work for them.

 

How does that make you feel? Have you ever even imagined a world like that? Do you look at yourself as the master of the world? It's funny we have and always had a tendency to look at other Jews as being their masters. As better than them. As being the ones that need to share with them the light of the only true way to serve Hashem-which is of course the way that we are doing it.

 

If you're frum it means by studying torah and wearing a black hat and staying in Kollel. If you're Chasidish its by going to the Mikva a lot spending a lot davening and chasidus. If you're Chabad it's shlichus, if your Breslav its Uman and dancing and tikkun klali. If your dati it's serving in the army, and saying prayer for the state and conquering the land. If you're Modox it's Torah and Derech Eretz and becoming a respectable Shomer Shabbat Jew who is involved in the world and goes to Pesach programs. If your conservative or reform it's tikkun olam and pro-Palestine. We all are masters of our own fellow Jews, they're all second-class slaves to us that need to follow our lead. Because I'm the only one that knows and understand what Hashem truly wants. The only thing we all have in common is that we all agree it's a mitzva d'oryasa to vote….

 

Yet, as well, I don't believe or see any of us having or taking that same sense of righteous indignation and sense of purpose and meaning and directing it or even stating it to the world. When it comes to the rest of the world, we hide and crawl back in our tent. We don't want to be that face. We don't feel we have the power influence or even divine mandate to get up and tell that to the world. That they are meant to serve us. That we are the lords. That their job is to mamash mamash bow down to us. That's not our place. Those are the clothing of Esau.

We're not comfortable lording over Esau. We were born second. We forgot that we were supposed to born first. We forgot that he sold us the birthright. That there was one moment in time when he came home and we realized that if we didn't buy it from him, Hashem's presence would never be revealed in the world. It was that day when Avraham died and all that Esau could think about was his hunger and his personal "growth" at least in his belly and not the hole left in the world of someone that would be the Avraham of the world. That would bring that message of Hashem and His light to the world. That was the moment, when we left the tent. When we poured the chulent down his throat. When we told him, that he only eats when we tell him to. That we are truly the first-born and it's time for him to get into line.

 

There was a time when I was asked to speak to Kollel Rabbis that were entering the Jewish outreach/kiruv world. They had asked me to speak to them about some of the challenges of this type of work and to give them tips and direction of some of the essential things that I had learned from my years of experience that would assist them in their tasks and understanding of their mission. I chose to speak about the idea of fundraising. I felt that it's an uncomfortable topic. Guys want to go out and teach Torah. They want to inspire and impress with their wisdom, with their warmth, with their love and with their brilliant proofs and joy of yiddishkeit, which are all certainly important, yet not always entirely effective. Fundraising- asking people, particularly your students, for money, isn't geshmak. It cheapens you. It makes you all about money. It's a business. It's about reaching into their pockets. It makes me a shnorrer- not a rabbi and teacher.

 

My feeling was just the opposite. I told them that in my experience I found that all the classes and Shabbos meals in the world didn't accomplish as much in the personal growth of someone as one nice check from them did. If they're not investing and partnering and joining the initiative than at the end of the day… they're really not in. They're not going to move much. Yet, the second they wrote their first personal nice check. The first time they made a commitment to become a partner on a regular basis. That they weren't just your student but started a partner with you in your mission. All of a sudden very fast they begin to change. They grow. They really, really get it.

 

Now it's not easy to make that ask for many. I can get them to put on tefillin, to keep Shabbos, to eat kosher, to even keep the laws of family purity. But money? For a sizeable donation. For a building campaign. That’s personal. That's money. That's not spiritual. That's reaching into their pockets. That makes me a shnorrers. Yet, I would tell them that first of all tzedaka is a mitzva like very mitzva is and there should be no compunction about teaching them about that mitzva as any other mitzva, as sukkah, lulav and matza on Pesach and bentching after they ate. But on a deeper level, what I believe bothers us is that we don't believe enough that their giving money is really giving them the greatest merit ever. It's donating to the Bais Ha'Mikdash. It's spreading the light of Hashem to the entire world. It's the deal of a lifetime. It's bringing them the ultimate goodness, greatness and opportunity that they've ever been offered. It's giving them life. It's partnering them with Hakadosh Baruch Hu's mission for this world.

 

Yet, it's hard for only reason. Because we don't really believe it enough. We don't believe in our mission. We don't believe that we can do it. That they can do it. We see dollars and credit cards and we don't see bricks of the Bais Ha'Mikdash. We see our small little outreach centers and we don't see the sacrifices on the altar in Yerushalayim and Shechina descending and resting amongst us and shining out the light to the world. We see our own personal spiritual growth. We see the small little mitzvos that we can get them to do. We see the pages of Talmud and machshava and Mussar that we can teach and learn. But we don't see the big picture. We don't really get what our real agenda needs to be and why we were chosen for this job. What' we're really here for and what we are meant to accomplish. Because if we did, we'd have no problem doing what we're meant to. And this is not only true for our fellow unaffiliated Jews it's the message the State of Israel and the Jewish people are meant to give to the world.

 

It is with that understanding of our role and the way to bring Mashiach and to fulfill our mandate here in Israel and in the entire world that the response and letter that Israel needs to send to the world needs to be as follows.

 

"Dear Mr. Trump and esteemed slaves and servants of the United Nations,

"It has come to our attention that there has been discussion about your withholding and canceling your loan guarantees, grants and financial interests with our country. Unfortunately for you, and perhaps eventually fortunately as well this is unacceptable to us. See, because we here in Israel our your masters. All that you own and perceive to control and have earned in America and Europe belong to us. These are not loan guarantees that we are seeking or tarrifs even. They are tribute that we feel that you need to pay to us in order that we can have what require to finish the job that Hashem chose us for to rebuild His Temple and eradicate evil from the world. "

 

"We are brothers, Edom. Yishmael is destroying your country and evil is coming in your midst. Our father Yitzchak gave the two of us a job. You chose to abdicate the role to us to be at the forefront of this battle. To be your light. To show and teach you what the function of creation is all about and how we can make the world a better place. We study Torah, we have maintained a tradition and that wisdom from our shared grandfather Avraham. Yet as well, we have taken on your role of conquering and settling the land of Israel and begun the process of revealing Hashem.

 

We did this in the past, but we lost our way. We didn't guide you. We followed your orders and as Yitzchak told you, when we don't lead and we follow you, then you will throw off that burden and you burned down that house. You killed us throughout the generations because we were always to small-minded and reclusive to take the role that Yitzchak blessed us with. The job Hashem chose us for, when He called us Yisrael. "

 

"But that ends here and now. Please send your tribute, your dollars and your Euros to us immediately. Please include some of those new cool nuclear weapons and tanks and subs you've made as well, so they can be put to good use. This is your privilege. These are your orders. Mr. Trump, our dear brother. You can stop bowing now. You can take our hand and lead with us. Together we will make a great time. You will eradicate that evil you've been wanting to since our mother's womb and we will shed the light and build the Temple for all nations. We look forward to greeting you here with all the other nations."

 

TYFYATTM (thank you for your attention to this matter,

Your brother,

Yaakov/ Yisrael

 

Have a superior Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Der emess iz a kricher." - Truth is a slowpoke..

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

23. The country to which Israel supplies freshwater is __________ 

 

Which of the following statements regarding the Mediterranean climate in Israel is correct?

A. Most of Israel's land area is within this climatic region.

B. Most of central and northern Israel is in this climatic region.

C. Israel is the southernmost region on Earth where this climate prevails.

D. Only Mount Hermon and the northern Golan Heights are within this climatic region in Israel.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjsGOPzzRfE&list=RDJjsGOPzzRfE&start_radio=1    – Reb Shlomo Carlebach… perhaps most famous piece and song…. Yisrael Betach Ba'Hashem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic3tbYNHgVc&list=RDIc3tbYNHgVc&start_radio=1   - A new Shwekey Doni Gross- a Shabbos release… Ata Kidashta…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWj6c4Fn-Ig&list=RDfWj6c4Fn-Ig&start_radio=1    – Avraham Fried and Ari Stern- Hatov Va'Hameitiv… Interesting vibe…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUFyBcDZPuA&list=RDQUFyBcDZPuA&start_radio=1  – Shmueli Ungar… one of my favorite songs of his… Yitein Lecha from this week's blessing…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfuewamW2hs&list=RDMfuewamW2hs&start_radio=1  –Ari Goldwags's latest release Run Run Slow Down…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Knesset Changes and Laws- 3427 from Creation-333 BC – So as we noted with the sealing of the books of the prophets the Men of the Great Asssembly established a new commonwealth with some important laws and changes that transformed the face of Judaism until today.

 

The first obviously immediate need was of course the work in the Temple and shifts of the Kohanim that would represent the nation before Hashem. In the first Temple there were 24 different Mishmarot that served in the first Temple, yet only four of them returned with the men return of the Jews from Bavel. The rest preferred life in Bavel Park and Ga-lakewood… So they took those four families and divided them up into 24 families. As well they established what we call the Nusach Hetfilla- the order of prayers the 18 we recite of Shemona Esrei.

 

Now although they had the Temple and service it seemed to be a need, according to Maimonides to have this as the Jews were in Exile to remain connected to Hashem. Seemingly the Talmud tells us that this was eventually forgotten as it would seem that when the Temple was in Israel, and daily sacrifices were offered on behalf of the nation that wasn't commonly done. At least in Eretz Yisrael. It was only after the destruction of the Temple that it was reestablished.

 

The big changes though that did take hold were in all areas of Jewish law. They established the laws of shiva and mourning, they established the laws on carrying within the 2000 amos of Shabbos. Bedikas Chametz on Pesach, secondary forbidden marital relations, the prohibition to drink wine handled by non-Jews, the marital document of Kesuva for women, The laws of tithes on all fruits and vegetables besides the 7 speices of Israel, various laws of family purity and mikva, working on chol hamoed and the laws of muktza… and more and more and more…

 

I think we take much of this for granted as being basic Judaism, but this is a revolution in the nation. There probably has never been such a change since the Torah was given on Sinai until today that so effected the way we relate to and observe Judaism. There were some of these that were established beforehand, yet their period is the conclusion of this change. From that time on there would be no new decrees that were accepted by the nation that have the status of a Rabbinic prohibition.

 

Their last and final big accomplishment was establishing the concept of the Mishna and oral tradition which would not be codified for centuries but the period and era of this transmission being codified and ordered starts with them as well. We'll talk more about that next week.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLLY RACIST SLAVERY JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Slavery is such an ugly word...I prefer the term lifetime unpaid internship.

 

Where do dungeon masters keep their slaves? In debasement.

 

After a stressful day, Bob comes home and sits in his backyard, drinking a beer. As he's getting up to get a snack, he stops and asks, "Jesus, what is the meaning of life?"

To which Jesus replies, "You slave in the sun to support the ones you love. You make money so you can buy things for your family to keep them happy."

The man asks,"Jesus, why is life so hard?"

To which Jesus replies,"That, no one may ever know. You have to overcome many obstacles to be successful."

The man asks again,"How was the universe created?"

Jesus replies,"I'm sorry, señor, but can you stop asking questions? I'm trying to mow your lawn."

 

What's the difference between a cow and slavery? You can't milk a cow for 200 years.

 

Do all black people have a problem with slavery? Or just mine

 

An ethnically diverse group of people are doing something…

An African-American, a Mexican-American, Jewish-American, and a white man are walking along the beach in Florida. One of them stumbles over a lamp and as he picks it up, a genie appears. The genie thanks them from freeing him from the lamp and offers them each a wish.

The African-American says, "My native land has suffered from all the people stolen away by slavery. I wish for all my people to be returned to Africa to start a new age of African success." As he finishes speaking, poof, he is gone.

 The Mexican-American is inspired and says, "My native land has suffered from all the people run out by the cartels and corruption. I wish for all my people to be returned to Mexico to start a new age of Mexican success." As he finishes speaking, poof, he is gone.

The Jewish-American feels the same way and says, "My native land has had my people chased out for thousands of years. I wish for all my people to be returned to Israel to start a new age of Israeli success." As he finishes speaking, poof, he is gone.

The white guy is clearly taken aback with all that has happened. He says, "Let me get this straight, all the black, mexicans, and jews are gone? Lemme get a diet coke."

 

I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery. None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea..

 

What did the slave owner said to his slave during the gold rush? I wanna make you mine.

 

A slave is working out on the cotton plantation one hot day and the master approached him. "Say, Toby, I'm gonna use the outhouse, so I expect to see at least another barrel filled with cotton befo' I get back,"the master said.

"Yessuh, massa," Toby replied.

So the master went to the outhouse and as he sat down a copperhead come up and bite him in the behind. The master yelled like a banshee. The yell alarmed Toby, who ran to the outhouse to see the master writhing in pain with his behind in the air.

"Boy!!,"the master said. "A copperhead just bit me right on my backside. Toby, you better run down to the doctor and ask him what to do about a snake bite."

"Yessuh, massa," Toby replied.

Toby made it to the doctor and knocked on the door.

"Toby, boy? What are you doing?" the doctor said.

"My massa been bit by a copperhead! What do I got to do to keep him alive?" Toby blurted.

"Ok Ok," the doctor said calmly. "First, you have to clean the wound. Then, you have to suck the poison out. I don't have tools here, but you can do it with your lips. So clean the wound then, suck the poison out. OK?"

The doctor closed the door and Toby ran back to his master.

"Well Toby? What the doctor say?," the master said.

With a smirk Toby answered, "He said...you dead."

 

A woman converting to Islam is like a black person converting to slavery.

 

*************************************************

 

The answer to this week”s question is B – I  feel repetitive here but one again it seems that I can't get off of this 50/50 streak here. The first part over here I got correct. The answer is Jordan which is one of the driest countries in the world. They literally have water for only a few hours a day over there in some places. And they have to store it all. We provide them with billions of cubes of water because they're our friends… right? OK not so much… Because we're idiots. But anyways it's a big tumult lately because as they continue to curse us out. Israel has been threatening to cut them off. The second part though I got wrong. I was really debating back and forth between B& C. I thought the Mediteranean climate was certainly in North and Central. But I thought the Golan and Hermon and entire Jordan Valley area wasn't really the most of the North. So I went with C that it's the lowest in the world, although I suspected that Egypy might've been more South. The truth is I was wrong on that too, as Chile and Argentina are even more south. I didn't even chap or think of them. So half right and half wrong makes the new score Rabbi Schwartz having 15.5 points and the MOT having 5.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

Now!- Parshat Chayei Sara 5787 2026

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

November 6^th 2026 -Volume 17 Issue 5 26^th of Cheshvan 5787

 

Parshat Chayei Sarah

Now!

 Click here below for print edition

(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Chayei Sarah 2026  )

I'm not a patient person. I want things now. I'm a fast food guy. I have places to go. Things to do. Sites to see. Work to accomplish. I don't have time to kratz around. I don't like lines. I don't like waiting. I look at my phone to see how long this is shlepping out. It's been ten minutes already. How long to I have to sit here? What's taking them so long? C'mon, already… Doesn't anyone else here have a life?

 

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy down time too. Just last week I went away for the week to Mitzpe Ramon, which was glorious and I just sat and chilled, with nothing to do or no where to go. It was amazing. I don't have to always be on the move, and I can relax perhaps even better than most. I'm the king of relaxing and chilling. Yet, I have to be in that mode. When it's not relaxation time, then I'm on. And there is too much to do to be wasting my time waiting.

 

Perhaps the most frustrating place where that plays out is while sitting in traffic. I hate, hate, hate traffic. Standstill traffic. Watching that stupid annoying Waze thing just adding minutes and minutes to my destination arrival. I'd rather get up two hours early and drive at 4:00 AM to Jerusalem and make it there in an hour and a half, than wake up at 7:00 and take chances that it could turn into a three hour drive, just sitting and inching behind cars along the Highway. What do I do in Jerusalem when I arrive there at 5:30? I have no clue. But at least I'm not sitting in traffic.

 

I don't think, I'm alone in this way. In fact I don't know many that don't like quick service. That don't want immediate gratification. That don't marvel when their plane arrives early. When there are no lines in the store. When you call for customer service and they pick up right away and deal with your problem immediately instead of putting you on hold with that really annoying and frustrating horrible music or advertisement for their company again and again and again for 20 minutes just to find out that you've been waiting for the wrong department and "please-hold-on-a-second-as-we-connect-you to-the-person-that-will-assist-you". And then finally when you get connected to the right person-after waiting another 20 minutes, having the phone disconnect. Yeah… being able to marvel at that not happening to me, hasn't happened yet… Certainly, not in Israel.

 

But, we're all like that. I know that many will say it's our self and immediate gratification generation… yada yada… but I don't buy it. I don't think anyone ever wanted to wait for anything. Sure, we've gotten faster results. And we wait less. But that's happened because people never liked to wait. Remember that whiny sound from AOL for the computer to connect to the internet which took a few seconds. Today we can't wait three seconds to skip the YouTube commercial. We have instant hot water- except for in Israel where you have to wait for the Dood to heat up. But even years ago, the invention of the microwave, was because people couldn't wait. They didn't like to. None of us do. And that's what moved the world faster and faster and to greater and greater efficiency. I believe that's a good thing. I'm not of the team that says we need to go back to the old more peaceful waiting for things years…

 

Yet, what's fascinating is that there is one thing in life, that I think too many of us believe and understand "take time". It doesn't happen overnight. It's a process… We've accepted that. We're not looking for quick and immediate results. We don't believe and really aren't prepared for it to happen immediately. And to be fully honest with ourselves, if it does happen then we're almost shocked and thrown off kilter when it does. You know what I'm talking about…right?

 

C'mon guys… You should know this. It's not in Tanach, that you've never learned. It's probably the most popular Jewish song, that all of us have sung. It's sung slow by kumzitzes. It's fast by weddings. It's dancing on Simchas Torah and it's walking to the gas chambers. It's Yossele Rosenblatt and the London Boys choir. It's every single time we mention the concept. It's Ani Mamin. It's the principle of our faith. It's Mashiach. It's Geula. It's redemption. And it's always right Now.

 

We don't ask to get healed right away in a second. We don't ask for our parnassa b'mehira. That we should find a job in one second. We don't daven for our shidduch immediately. We don't say that we wait for a child to be born in an instant. We understand, Hashem has his time and plan and we're good with it. We daven that it should happen b'ito and b'zmano. That all the blessings should come and that we want them, but Hashem should do it on His schedule and timing. When it's right and we deserve it and He best sees fit.

 

Yet, whenever we mention the concept of Mashiach, of Redemption, of building the Bais Ha'Mikdash and even the eradication of all evil. We don't want it on His time. We want it fast. We want it now. We don't want to wait. We don't have patience. We don't want a process. We don't want lines. We don't want wars. Not long-drawn-out ones. Not even short and quick ones. We don't want to take our time. We want them all to go up immediately like smoke. We want them all dead tomorrow. Them isn't just Gaza, Hamas, or Iran. It's everyone that's evil. Like smoke….poof… You know the Nuclear kind, that Iran's not developing…

 

 We don't want to have time to pack, to sell our house. To wait for the wrecking ball to come down and knock out that golden pimple. We don't want committee meetings about how to build the Mikdash. We want the food on the table NOW. On the Mizbayach. We want to be offering sacrifices tomorrow. Or today. We want to leave everything behind in America, immediately. Without delay. Without a garage or estate sale. Without an agent. Without an Aliya specialist. "Meheira Meheira Meheira". We don't want to have time for our matza to rise. For our amazon package we just ordered to come. For the renovations we just made to finally be finished. We just want a shofar. We want it fast. Immediate. We wait and wait and wait for this to happen. We're looking at the door every moment. When will this traffic finally ease up? When can I step on the gas? We're davening non-stop for not just a redemption. We never do that. But an immediate redemption. One that doesn't delay, take time or have any process to it. That's the only thing in our lives that we ever do that for… Right?

 

OK… am I the only one that feels a little bit awkward here? Because, to be honest, as much as I think we all give lip-service to that concept. And there are certainly times when we feel that way. Particularly when something terrible scary and foreboding like a bad American election takes place. But l'maaseh… I think most of us are fine with a process when it comes to Mashiach, the Bais Ha'Mikdash, picking up and moving to Israel… and even crazy enough for the war to be over. I don't think anyone is really really davening and asking Hashem for a nuclear bomb to fall on everyone in Gaza. Or that a divine fire or plague break out on every Free Palestine idiot in congress, in France, in the UN. Do you really really deeply ask Hashem that they should mamash mamash mamash go up in smoke in one second? That every church should just be destroyed. That every idolatry all of a sudden implode and blow up killing everyone in one second. If you haven't that you really aren't davening out of the siddur that we are meant to be using with any real kavana.

 

Maybe that's why you close your eyes and don't look inside. It's hard to see the words in front of you asking Hashem to IMMEDIATELY bring you home, build the bais Hamikdash and eradicate evil. It's easier to close your eyes and just think that it should happen in it's proper scheduled time and that it should be soon…but slowly. To focus on the achakeh lo- the waiting for it, more than the b'chol yom she'yavo- that it should happen today. In one day. It should all change now.

 

Perhaps more than any parsha this week's parsha of Chayei Sara is an impatient one. It's one that's on the move. The main thrust of the parsha is of course the finding of a spouse for Yitzchak. It's the story and then again the repeated story of Eliezer's journey to bring together this Shidduch. Our Rabbis tell us that this parsha more than any other is repeated and shlepped out. All of the details of Eliezer's meeting with Rivkah, the feeding of the camels, his miraculous journey there, the gifts that he gave her. It's all repeated, in real time as it happens and again when he tells the story over to Lavan and Besuel. The reason given, which really isn't much of an explanation, is that

 

Yafeh sichasun shel avdei avos mi'torasan m'torasan shel banim- the conversation of the servants of our Patriarchs is nicer or better than the Torah of the children.

 

After all, our sages note, that laws of Shabbos, of slaughtering animals, of purity all of those mitzvos get a verse or two. Yet here we go on for tens of pesukim on a seemingly repetitious nice interesting story.

 

As I said, this seems to be an observation the sages are making, but it doesn't really explain why. What's perhaps even more revealing and telling about this statement of our sages, is that it seems to be made in middle of the story by one specific aspect of it. Rashi tells us this on the verse that Eliezer reveals that he came to Charan miraculously in one minute. Poof. He was there. The land crunched together and boom he landed there. It was Harry Potter. That's where Rashi tells us that it's a story worth repeating. That there's no process. That it happens instantaneously. That his prayer is answered even before he finishes it. That it's as we say in Hebrew chick chock.

 

In fact, it's not just that prayer and the land thing that happens instantaneously. The entire story is recited on 2X the speed. Everyone is running. Everyone is in a rush. Look at the verses

 

Bereishis (24:15) and it was before he finished speaking and Rivka came out…

(24:17) and the servant ran out towards her and he said…

(24:18) and she said drink my master and she hurried and lowered her pitcher and gave him to drink

(24:19) and she finished giving him to drink and said let me draw for your camels before they finish drinking

(24:20) and she hurried and emptied out her pitcher to the trough and she ran again to the well.

(24:22) and as the camel finished to drink the man took the bracelets…

(24:28) and the maiden ran and told her mother's house…

(24:29) And Rivkah had a brother and his name was Lavan and Lavan ran to the man…

 

See, what I'm talking about. Everyone is in a rush. There's no time. We've gotta move. This is the story. This is what is incredible and worth repeating. This is the most important lesson that we need to learn from conversation of the eved. This is much more important and nicer than all of the Torah of the children. Because this isn't Torah. It's not lomdus. It's not a process that makes any sense. It's just conversation. It's just what pops out of our mouth, and happens. Which doesn't take any time, or even thought. It's how the future and destiny of Klal Yisrael needs to happen and how we need to relate to it.

 

There's a fascinating medrash that tells us that there were three times and for three people where their prayers were answered as they left their mouths. The first was of course here by Eliezer when he asked Hashem to provide him with a sign for the match for Yitzchak. The second is Moshe, when it came to them being swallowed up by the earth. And the third was by Shlomo Ha'Melech by the building of the Bais Ha'Mikdash that Hashem should send down a fire and eat up all of the sacrifices that they had brought. Each of them was answered immediately, although as the Lubavitcher Rebbe notes, Eliezer was answered the fastest even before he finished. What is the reason behind this and what's all the hurry? And in what merit was it necessary for this immediate response to take place?

 

The answer perhaps is the reason why we don't really think about an immediate geula and redemption, whereas in every other area we pretty much would like to see and instant response without any hesitation or process. The reason is because in every other area in life, we have a plan. We have a game. We have a schedule. We have things that we want and we need to do and want to happen. It's about us. And that feeling that our schedule and idea and plans are not working out the way that we want them to on our terms is very unsettling. We're out of control. Perhaps it doesn't shtim with what Hashem wants. That throws us off. That make us feel helpless.

 

It's precisely for that reason as well that we have the opposite reaction when it comes to redemption, to the Bais Ha'Mikdash, to the winning of wars and the eradication of evil. We have a plan and an idea how that should play out as well in our mind. Mashiach should preferably come on a Sunday morning after I daven and eat a bagel and learn with my chavrusa. Preferably bein ha'sedorim. The eradication of evil and Gaza should be a short but nice and quick war. Maybe Trump and Bibi should spend a few days dropping bombs or something. Christianity should obviously fall apart, slowly they should awaken up and see Hashem and become pro-Israel. The United Nations should have a big wake up call, maybe a big terrorist attack. Yes, the Bais Ha'Mikdash should be built, but it's a slow process. We need to get everyone here first. We need to arrange flights. We need to pack up all of our espresso machines and meat smokers. We have to pack up all of our sefarim, our yeshivos, our important kollelim. There's a process. There's a Torah to it. It's not something that happens in one conversation.

 

Bottom line…it's all about us. And that's the problem and that's what has to be the paradigm shift. It's the one that our sages put in our prayers every time we mention the end of days. It's what they didn't put in for all our other prayers.

 

See, Geula can and will and has to happen, when it's not about us but it's about Him. It's about the world seeing and realizing Him. Knowing Hashem. Revealing His glory to the world. The world is sick. It's dying. It's in pain. The Shechina has been waiting so long. Hashem's goodness and light is waiting to explode into the world. We have one job here. We were chosen for one thing. To bring the world to that day. To make that revelation happen. Much like Eliezer eved Avraham, has one job. He has to put aside all of his personal dreams, desires, agendas and plans. He's the primary student of Avraham. He has a child on the market. He wants more then anything else for a different plan to work out. But that's not his job. That's not why he's an eved.

 

Eliezer's only job to bring about the match of Yitzchak and Rivka. To create the first Jewish marriage in Israel born to the first Jewish couple (Avraham and Sarah got married before, they came to Israel). To create the foundation of the Jewish people that will reveal Hashem as the God of the heaven and earth. It's not about him. He has to put that all aside and think about Hashem. It's with that mindset that he prays. It's why he's answered faster than anyone else in the world or history of mankind. Even faster than Moshe and Shlomo, who are close seconds and thirds. That's the sicha- the conversation of the true servant of our Patriarchs that's worth more than the Torah that we think is ours- that's all about us, and that Hashem is placed on the side. It's why from his prayer, it all happens in high speed. Because it's Hashem's timeline. Not ours or his. And if it's about Hashem and His mission and that's all I care about, then it needs to happen as soon as possible. It needs to happen NOW.

 

The same is true for the prayers of Moshe for the eradication of evil Korach who is challenging the whole premise of Moshe and the Torah and the Kohanim as being the ones that will connect us to the Bais Ha'Mikdash. Evil, that doesn't want our holy Hashem appointed Kohanim to be the ones doing the service. People that think that all religions are fine and should be represented. That Moshe doesn't have a monopoly on spirituality. That the temple mount should be open. That we should be pluralistic. That Palestine should be free for all. That we need to be democratically elected. That needs to end immediately. That needs to be swallowed up in the earth. That isn't a process. But that tefilla, has to come from us. It has to come for Hashem, not for our agenda, our Gimmel party. Or for tax dollars and subsidies or army exemptions. Or even settler rights. It has to do with Hashem's glory being hidden by evil. And thus, it's not subject to any delay. It needs to happen in a second.  It's why we always say that it needs to happen b'mehiera- like smoke. Poof. All gone.

 

And finally we have Shlomo. We have the Temple. We have redemption. It's the only and last prayer we need for the fire to come down. The prayer has to be two words. "Hashem, Now." Not tomorrow. Not when I've packed. Not with all my Torah. Hashem just reveal Yourself now. Send down that fire. I'm ready. I'm all set. I have nothing else on my agenda.  I have only You. I'm sick of sitting in traffic. I'm sure you are as well. You've had enough of all of that music, and kumzitz and Yerushalayim songs while You're waiting on hold. You're ready to answer the phone. We need to just press One and the Geula will be here. The question is if we can do that. I'm ready… He's ready… Are you?  

 

Have a peaceful and patient Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Shlof gicher, men darf di kishn" - Sleep faster, we need the pillows.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

22. According to Plate tectonics, the Arabian plate is moving in which of the Cardinal Directions? ________

 What is a metamorphic rock?

A. A rock that has transformed due to exposure to conditions, such as heat and pressure

B. A rock formed through a slow sedimentation process at the bottom of the sea

C. Any rock that has changed due to water/wind erosion

D. Any rock that forms inside a magma chamber beneath the surface 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/rivkah   – Every year the oilam (and me) wait for this week's Parsha to listen to my amazing chuppa song I composed for my Sister Rivky's chasuna from this week's parsha… Yitz Berry amazing arangements!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-ij1jOOHMs&list=RDP-ij1jOOHMs&start_radio=1  - in honor of Shabbos Chevron- the one and only original Dedi Chevron in concert…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC-OUVsJ8Wg&list=RDQC-OUVsJ8Wg&start_radio=1   – This is weird… Ishay Ribo Yitzchak Rivka… with puppets and Spanish subtitles… hmmm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1wzuNozYPg&list=RDG1wzuNozYPg&start_radio=1 – The Rebbe's Rosh Chodesh Kiselv song…Eli Marcus…

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/eishet-chayil –And in honor of sarah Immeinu and her life the hesped Avraham Avinu gave… my Eishes Chayil composition…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

A New Era begins- 3427 from Creation-333 BC – With the settling of the Jews in Israel and the restoration of the Bais Ha'Mikdash and its service the second commonwealth begins. It is also the commencement of the Era of the Prophets from Klal Yisrael. Ezra, Chaggai, Malachi are the last ones that will be prophets. Our sages tell us only fools and children still have that power. And maybe Rabbis from Karmiel that are tour guides, although some may suggest he fits into the first categories…

 

The era of prophecy ends at the same time that yetzer hara, that plagued the first temple period and all of our history is also removed by the sages from us. They slaughtered the yetzer hara of idolatry. No longer will Jews be drawn to that false sense of spirituality that idolatry so overpoweringly captured our nation. Sure, Jews would serve Greek gods, and Roman pagan worship and will fall into the Buddha baloney and other idiocy today… but that's not l'sheim shamayim or for spirituality purposes. That's only about being cool. About being able to permit intermarriage and hang with their promiscuous women. It's not the same.

 

Now as that draw and inclination towards negative spirituality is removed, the counter-balance to that which was prophets and prophecy had to end as well. There needs to be free choice. There's gotta be equal challenges to each side. And thus it ended. With that however a new era begins. One that is of Torah. One that is of sages. Of non-prophets, but spiritual leaders. And thus the 120 members of Israel's Men of the Great Assembly was established. Welcome to the first Knesset… Wow how far we have fallen…

 

The Anshei Ha'Knesset Gedola began their era declaring the end of prophecy. The selected and sealed the books of the Prophets. There were lots to choose from that were not selected. Books that Shmuel wrote, that Yirmiyahu and Yeshaya did. Even King David and Shlomo… Yet they were not included. They were called Sifrei Chitzonim. They didn't have eternal messages for the nation. 24 altogether were selected and sealed. It didn't happen without debate, as most Jewish things do. Yet, that was the conclusion. These became the books of Tanach. They were meant to be learned always. They're meant to speak to us today. Are we learning them…?

 

From that period on we will have the Oral tradition's development. The written word was done. The oral tradition is what became the primary focus of the Rabbis since then. It was not going to be written down. It will be almost a half a millennia until after the second Temple when that happens. But phase one ends with this era. A new era has begun. The 2000 era of Torah which started on Sinai 1500 years before is ready for it's last quarter to begin…And what better way than the establishment of the Rabbis that would set the tone for all generations.

 

How did they proceed. Next we cover some of their decrees and changes in Klal Yisrael that set the tone until today…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE IMPATIENT JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

A woman asks a man: "Do you want to be the Father of my children?"

Man: "Yes, I would love to!"

 Woman: "They are impatiently waiting you at home"

 

I took our three-year-old to Shul for the first time. Getting impatient while waiting for davening to start, he turned t and asked, "What time does Hashem get here?"

 

Why are people in wheelchairs impatient? They can't stand waiting.

 

Why are impatient doctors always broke? Because they never have any patients.

 

What did the impatient barber say to his customer? I think we need to cut this short

 

What do you call an impatient skin infection? Rash

At a restaurant, I was getting impatient waiting on my food.I caught the waiter's attention as he rushed by. “How long will my spaghetti be?”

The waiter said: “I don’t know. We never measure it.”

 

What did the impatient vegetarian say to the waiter? Get me a soup! And make it snap pea!

 

What did the contractor say to the impatient customer? We are doing asbestos we can”

 

Some people call me impatient. I haven't got time for those people.

 

So there was a huge line of animals, waiting for a store to open. They were all waiting patiently, until the rabbit came. This rabbit was very impatient and wanted to join the store first. So he tried sneaking under everyone. Although that didn't work because the lion, found him and furiously said "HEY! No cheating!" and punched the rabbit so hard that he flew 2 miles away.

But the rabbit didn't give up and tried again. Although this time the elephant found him and said "Do you think we are idiots, waiting in line?" and kicked him so hard, that he flew 4 miles away.

So the rabbit very angrily said "OK then, I ain't opening the store".

 

Two men are playing golf, and there are two ladies playing in front of them. The ladies are taking forever...really playing slow. The men are getting impatient.

After about three holes of this, one guy says, “This is ridiculous”. “Get in the cart and go tell them to let us play through!”

So the other guy takes off in the cart. About halfway to the next hole, he stops, turns the cart around and comes back.

“Hey”, he says. “This is embarrassing but that’s my wife and my girlfriend playing together. “I can’t get near them. You go.”

So the other guy jumps in the cart and heads off. A minute later he comes back. He doesn’t say anything...just walks over to the tee box.

The first guy says, “Well? Did you talk to them?”

And the second guy says, “Uh...small world!”

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The answer to this week”s question is A – Ok, it seems that I can't get off of this 50/50 streak here. I wasn't sure about either of these answers. But I actually was more confident about Part A then I was Part B. Turns out it was the opposite. I thought the Syrian African Rift from Arabia would be heading towards Israel which would make it West. It turns out that it's North, which is true as well. Although I would say it's North West. But oh well. On the other hand I wasn't sure about Part B. but I actually got it right. As a metamorphis is when its transformed with heat and stuff. So half right and half wrong makes the new score Rabbi Schwartz having 15 points and the MOT having 20 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.