Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
September 27th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 49 24th of Elul 5784
Parshat Nitzavim-Vayelech
The Untradeable Year
“I
wouldn’t trade this year for anything in the world” she told me. I
understood what she was talking about. I was having a conversation with my fellow
Tour/Travel planner par excellence, Ruth. We were commiserating about this past
year and how it has affected our industry. How little business we had. How even
the tourists or “war”ists that sporadically came had different
expectations. How it was challenging to plan anything. How last-minute
everything has been, how so many of our old haunts and itineraries were no
longer around and how finding things for people to see and do was a whole new
world and experience. Throw that together with the so many horrors and so much
suffering that we’ve experienced this past year and the sometimes frustrated
disconnect that we’ve experienced from those coming that wanted the traditional
tour of Israel-without any awareness of what this country and our nation has been
and is going through, and needless to say the year 5784 has been the most devastating
year of my and perhaps anyone in this countries lifetime. And that includes
Corona…
Yet,
I concurred with what she said about not trading this year for anything. It has
been life-changing. Every year on Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and this High
Holiday season we pay lip service to doing teshuva and becoming changed
and different people. But between you and me, we all know that never really
happens. Sure, we improve every year. We make new resolutions. We may stop
talking during davening. We may find a chavrusa and start learning
something. Maybe the laws of lashon hara. We may even dramatically get
rid of our smart-phone and get a stinking kosher phone. But let’s be honest, we’re
still the same people. We haven’t moved that much up the ladder. We’re not like
those baalei teshuva that we look at weirdly and incomprehensibly who
threw away their entire previous lives and became frum and shomer shabbos,
or those modern orthodox kids that flip out and go to the Mir. Both of those
groups, by the way, also find themselves pretty much in the same boat as the rest
of us after a few years or decades of being frum, where they also don’t really
change that much. They put on the black hat already, how much more do they have
to grow…
This
year though something different happened to pretty much everyone that was here,
if not to every Jew in the world. We changed. We’re not the same Jews we were
before Simchas Torah last year. Certainly not the same Jews that stood before
Hashem last year on Rosh Hashana and asked for a sweet year and smiled and made
jokes about simanim as we dipped our apples in honey and cringed at the
fish heads on the table. We’re not going to be banging on our chests this year
for sins that we did and asking for forgiveness with our major hope being that
we don’t get written in any books that don’t have the word “Life” on them. We’re
looking for so much more this year…
When
the chazan will say “who by fire and who by water”, “who by sword and
who by wild beast” “who will rest and who will be forced to wander”,
“who will live out their allotted time and who before their time”, like no
other year before in our lives will those words have the same effect as they
will this year. It’s real. It’s all of it. It wasn’t just one family here or
there that had a tragedy that we will have to dredge up in our memory to give
us a sense of the awesomeness and trepidation of the angels. This year all of
those things happened to all of us. It’s still happening. When the chazan will
conclude this piyyut with the “who will be humbled and who will be exalted…
U’meee Yaroooommm” will we be able to stop crying?
When
we read Avinu Malkeinu again and again over the High Holidays and days of
Teshuva, and mention those that have been “slaughtered in Your name”. Those
that have been burnt, those that have been murdered for the sake of Your
Oneness. “Have mercy on our children; on the nursing babies”. “Avenge
the spilled blood of Your servant.” It has never been more real. When we
read on Yom Kippur the story of the Ten Martyrs, we will wonder why it stops at
ten. During Yizkor will there be more people sitting in shul rather than
outside of Shul? How many of them will be children, will be fiancés, young
brides or grooms, or newlyweds? How many orphans, widows, parents that have
buried their child-or in many cases multiple children- will be sitting in shul
this year for Yizkor. How many of them haven’t even had the closure of bringing
their child to burial yet..
No,
we are not the same this year coming into these days. 5784 has changed us. We
care much more than we ever have before about one another. We realized how
petty all the stupidity that occupied and perhaps even stressed us in the past
is. How small we were. We waited for Mashiach like never before and desperately
understand how we really can’t hold on much longer without him. Without Hashem…
We gave tzedaka like never before, we davened for people that we never
knew or perhaps may not have even made it to our thoughts as people that we
felt our prayers could ever even help. We cried for them. We lost sleep for
them. We still can’t stop thinking about them every single day. When will they
come home? When will we rejoice with them? When will their parents see the
morning of October 8th that they haven’t yet seen, as they remain frozen
on that day when they last saw or heard from them. The day when the nightmare
started and that they haven’t woken up from yet.
Yet
this year, despite how difficult and insane it has been, as well has seen many
miracles. The amount of missiles that have fallen here and not done what our
enemies had planned for them to destroy and kill is incomprehensible for those
that have not learned about our history and the clouds of glory that protect
us. The plans that the terrorists had for us for even that Simchat Torah
morning and the cities that they had pretty much would’ve had free reign of
massacring never were touched. The devastation that they had hoped to rampage
in their bloody pursuit was 1000 fold what they actually did. And it wasn’t
because the army came in time and stopped them. If the West Bank and all their “allies”
whom they had hoped to rile up and join them would’ve risen. If our “cousins” Yerushalayim,
in the Galil, in Jordan and Syria and Iran had all attacked us as well as they
had hoped they would… we wouldn’t be reading this E-Mail right now. And again
it wasn’t because they were sacred of us or had any less desire to have the
river meet the sea. It’s been a year where there have been miracles and the Hand
of Hashem has been revealed even in the darkness, and it continues to peek out
from those cracks.
We’ve
even sung Mizmor L’Toda again and again this year. Remember when those
hostages returned and we cried tears of relief, joy and perhaps even disbelief.
When we danced at the Torah scroll dedications…so so many of them. When our
soldiers wiped out our enemies. When we killed the Amalekite generals. When
those beepers went off last week. We’ve
sung ashreinu- how fortunate we are. We appreciate that we’ve been
Chosen. That we’re being put through the smelting pit of Egypt- the kur ha’barzel,
as our sages refer to it, that is purifying us. That is making us whole. That
is bonding us to one another. That is preparing us for something great. To become
great. To reveal His Greatness.
Yes,
this year has been one that has changed us, that has birthed us anew. It’s been
a year of curse and of blessing. But as this last parsha of the year begins… Atem
Nitzavim Kulchem- we are still standing. Those that are here and those that
are not. From the woodchopper in the kibbutz, the Rabbis in the yeshiva, the
ones across the sea and across the heavens who are not far from us. Ki karov
ha’davar me’od- The “davar”, that one thing that connects us all is close
to us. It is in our heart and our souls. It has returned us to our essence.
There
is an incredible verse in this week’s parsha that perhaps says all of this.
That predicts this end of days that we are experiencing.
“And
it will be when all of these words, the blessing and the curse,
which I have given before you come upon you. And you shall turn them to your
hearts amongst all of the nations which Hashem has banished you. And you will
return to Hashem, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul, and you
will listen to His voice according to all that I am commanding you this day you
and your children”.
What
makes this pasuk so fascinating is that Moshe tells us that it’s not
just the curse that brings us back to Hashem, amazingly enough it’s the
blessing that comes with it as well. The commentaries wonder about this verse.
Generally speaking in the Torah when we have blessing it brings us to a place
where we forget Hashem. We become fat. We become forgetful. We attribute
everything to our own success. We lose focus on what we’re supposed to do with
all that blessing. Why Hashem gave it to us. Why He chose us. What our purpose
is. What He’s waiting for us to do here. Who He’s hoping we’ll kill for Him to
cleanse this land for His Presence to finally rest here. The evil that He told
us needs to be eradicated for Him to finally come Home. When times are good and
there’s blessing, we forget all that. It’s only the curse that seem to wake us up
and bring us close.
Someone
once noted to me that if you see someone in shul, that you haven’t seen there
in a long time. He’s sitting in a corner and davening with a lot of kavana.
He’s shuckling back and forth. He’s raising his eyes and hands towards
heaven and tears are pouring down his eyes. The one thing that I can pretty
much assure you is the man didn’t win the lottery yesterday. He didn’t just get
a raise from his boss. You know that something bad happened. That someone’s sick.
That he got some very bad news. That he has no one else to turn to. Curses do
that to us. They wake us up. They bring us close and home. Yet, Moshe tells us
that it is not just the curse, but it is the blessing and the curse together
that will ultimately return us.
When
someone feels cursed, they become paralyzed. When the curses increase more and
more, when they become too much to bear, when one day just becomes worse than
the previous and when hope after hope of a better tomorrow gets crushed, for
most this leads to anguish and to despair. What’s the point? There’s nothing to
live for. I’m cursed. Let it just be over with already.
There’s
a difference though when it comes to Klal Yisrael. When it comes to us. The difference
is that we have the Torah. We have the song that Moshe taught us on this last
day before he died. The song tells us that there is an end. The song foretold
of all these curses that we would endure before that day came. The song told us
Hashem knew we would sin. That we would fight. That we would assimilate. That we
wouldn’t do what we were supposed to do and that He would bring these curses
upon us. He told us all of this up front.
If
a person is supposed to undergo some painful treatments that will ultimately guarantee
them that they could walk again, that they could breathe again, that they could
see again; or perhaps even see for the first time in their lives. That the
surgeries that they will undergo and the brutal grueling therapies that they
have to endure will bring them a tomorrow that will be better than any day they
ever lived until now. Then the curses themselves are not really curses, as
painful as they may be. Because there is a blessing that preceded them. Because
we knew and accepted them when we signed on the dotted line that ultimately we
wanted to accept the mission to become the nation that will bring the world to
its fulfillment. We accepted it eagerly. We understood that we wouldn’t trade
it for anything.
That
song, that Moshe taught us, the Torah tells us, he taught us “ad tumam-
until it’s completion”. Yet by chasidim they read the verse as saying it was
taught to us until our completion. Until we become tamim-
until we become perfect. It’s a song that will remind and show us that the
Torah will never be forgotten from our children. The song is one that heavens
and earth will give testimony of its eternality. The song of Ha’azinu, that we
read the first Shabbos of the New Year next week, is perhaps sung to the tune
of “Ani Ma’amin”. We believe. We have not lost faith. We wouldn’t trade it for
anything. The curses have brought us home. Even as we walk in the shadow of
death, we are not scared. We’re not paralyzed. We haven’t forgotten You. In
fact, we see and are aware and are closer to You then we ever were before.
The
Dubna Magid gives an amazing parable of the end of days, when Hashem tells us
He will finally redeem us. The verse says
“And
it will be, when they will encounter- ra’ot rabot v’tzarot- many evils
and troubles, this song will bear witness against them, for it will not be
forgotten from the mouth of their offspring.
He
explains these times to a person who sells fruits and vegetable in the shuk.
Throughout the day, throughout the week, he has all of the nicest and most
beautiful merchandise. His prices of course are reflective of that, and the
nicest fruits are placed in a special area all attractively displayed. Yet as
the day comes to an end and it’s getting closer to Shabbos when he knows that
the next week is coming and he can’t sell anymore, the salesman takes all the
fruits that he has left and throws them all into a bag in a corner and offers
them in bulk for very cheap. There’s good, there’s bad, it’s all mixed together.
But its all got to go. There’s no room for it next week. The day is almost
over. That’s when you know Shabbos is coming in the Shuk.
So,
says the Maggid is our generation, the times that we’re living. Tzaros rabos
v’ra’os- times of so many troubles, so much sadness, pain, loss, grief, so
much incomprehensible horror and trauma. It’s all packed together and mixed up
in one corner. But there’s a song that is playing throughout all of it in the
background. A song that tells Hashem, that we wouldn’t trade it. That we see
the blessing within the curse, that has predicted and warned us about it. That
song that tells us that the shuk is closing up, that Shabbos is on the
way. That the year is over and that the New Year will herald in an era for a
nation that has been purified and completed. That the song has reached it climax,
it’s finale.
There
is one more prayer and song that I think this year on the High Holidays we will
appreciate and sing like never before. It’s one that always has meaning to me.
Yet this year I feel it closer and more so then ever before.
Ah-ah-ahnu
ah ahmecha vi’ata Elokeinu-
We are Your nation and You are our God.
Ah-
ah ahnu banecha vi’ata Avinu-
We are Your children and You are our Father
We
are Your servants and You are our King
We
are Your congregation and You are our portion
We
are Your sheep and You are our shepherd
Anu
Rayescha- We are Your loved one
V’ata
Dodeinu and You are our beloved.
And
we would never want it any other way….There’s nothing to trade it for.
Have an amazing last Shabbos of the year,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
************************
YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
" Nit
mit shelten un nit mit lachen ken men di velt ibermachen...- Neither with
curses nor with laughter can you change the world.
RABBI
SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1dYHGXKH-8 – Shulem Lemmer Ki Anu Amecha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO5vagi_LjA –
Magnificent Selichos songs from yeshiva in KBY with the one and only Rav Hillel
Pilei
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqQ5EtISaW0 – Chabad Anu Amecha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO_MOZaqF_E – Tefen Eleinu Zanvel Weinberg awe
inspiring…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paAl5tNpygE – Yackov Shwekey’s latest Anu Amecha
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
24. The name of an accepted scientific method for dating organic
material is______
What is accepted as the event that differentiates between
Prehistory and
History?
1. The invention of the wheel
2. The use of fire
3. The invention of writing
4. The use of iron
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER
INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK
Shabbos Selichos- For the Sefardim amongst us who
have been reciting Selichos- those extra supplementary prayers that we
add in this season all month long, they are ahead of the game. Yet for us Ashkenazim
that perhaps takes a bit longer to wake up we begin this Motzai Shabbos with
our recitation. The Shabbos when we begin this is called Shabbos Selichos
because as the Imrei Kodesh of Amshinov teaches us that this last Shabbos we
have the power to fix all of the Shabbosos of the year. As well the
Belzer Rebbi teaches us that on Shabbos we become partners with Hashem in
Creation and as Creation begins this week, we bring our partnership which is
the prayers that we say for the world to come to fruition.
Our selichos begin each morning with the prayer of Ashrei
Yoshvei Beisecha. The Magen Avraham of Trisk
explains that the first letters of each of those words aleph, yud and beis in
gematria equal 13. The point of all of the selichos is to awaken those
13 attributes of mercy. In fact he says that we recite three primary selichos
of the thirteen middos on the first night and on Erev Rosh Hashana and
On the Selichos of Zechor Bris which equals 13x3= 39 which is the gematria of tal-
dew. This is a reference of the dew of resurrection- techiyat ha’meisim.
This is not for that ultimate day but to awaken the dead within us. The dormant
feelings of repentance. We need new life.
Hashem knows we will sin. Life isn’t about not sinning. It’s about
returning. It’s about fixing. It’s about elevating. At the conclusion of our selichos
we sing that beautiful song Ha’neshama Shelach- v’haguf pe’alach- the
soul is Yours and the body is Your making, have mercy on your labor. But then
we repeat it The soul is your but the guf is shelach- the body is
also Yours, asei l’maan shemecha- save us for Your name. The difference
between the two phrases, the Toldos Aharon Rebbe explains, is that originally when
we are first born our body is perfect and untainted and is clearly the work of
Hashem. Yet today we have spoiled, tainted and contaminated it. It’s not longer
recognizable as Your work. Yet, Your Name is still within us. It’s still has
Your signature on it. It’s in Your image. It belongs to You. For that name save
us.
Perhaps one last thought for our selichos, it is said that when
Reb Simcha Bunim of Peshisch would conclude his selichos with the prayer
how Hashem has answered the prayers of Avraham by the akeida, by Yitzchak,
by Eliyahu at Mt. Carmel, by Dovid, by Elisha, by Mordechai and Esther and throughout
all the generations, he would add one last sentence. He would say “Hashem
who has answered Bunim throughout the year and my life should also answer me.”.
He would tell his students that this was really the essence of all of the selichos.
Is to come to that realization That Hashem is answering us. He's waiting to
hear from us. He’s always there. And he should answer us as well today… May all
of our tefillos be accepted.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR
PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Menashe’s Redemption- 642
BC -Three prophets had
warned Menashe that his terrible acts, his heresy, his idolatry, his
murder of masses including his own grandfather Yeshaya would have a
price. He would be punished. It would seem that there would be no coming back
from where how far he has fallen. Yet, there’s always a way back as we shall
see. Yet sometimes Hashem’s preferred method of getting us to do teshuva-
or perhaps even most times- wherein prophets tell us that we need to repent,
doesn’t work. It’s then when Hashem ups His game and when it hurts. Yet, at the
end as this week’s parsha tells us, we will return. We will come Home to Him.
We will regret the waywardness of our mistaken ways.
In Menashe’s case Divrey Ha’Yamim tells
us that he was captured by the Assyrians and then the Babylonians
started to torture and roast him alive in a large vat. Ouch! Even there in that
vat he still didn’t get it. Our sages tell us that he continued to call out to
all of his idols to save him. Now this wasn’t because he necessary believed in
them, in fact quite the opposite. He did this as a ploy to get Hashem to answer
Him when he finally turned to Him. To show Hashem and the world that there
really is no One else besides Hashem that has the power to save. The angels in
heaven even objected to Hashem forgiving Menashe, but Hashem responded
by saying that if He doesn’t accept even the repentance of Menashe that
the door will always be closed for people who have sinned. And thus in a fascinating
Talmud it tells us that Hashem dug a tunnel under His throne of glory directly
to Menashe’s vat where he was crying out and accepted his prayers and
repentance and whisked him back to Yerushalayim. And whadaya know he
became a changed man.
Not only a changed man, but he removed the idols
that he had placed, he put officers around Yehuda to enforce the law and
even built up the City of Dovid, where the Assyrians had tried to
breach in by the Gichon spring on the bottom as well as all the way up
to the Ophel by the Southern Wall. He began a mass teshuva
movement and brought offerings to Hashem in the Beit Ha’Mikdash. It was
an entire turn-around. He had the longest reign of any king of Israel and
whereas his sinful years where the first 22 years the remaining 35 years where
all in the service of Hashem. Did his teshuva help entirely?
Next week is Shabbos Shuva when we conclude the
story of Menashe and his redemption, let’s find out…
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S CHANGES MAN JOKES OF THE WEEK
"Ever
since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop
drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught
me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music,
even how to invest in the stock market," said Yankel.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because
she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so
improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
A woman who lived next door to a preacher was
puzzled by his personality change. At home he was shy, quiet and retiring, but
in the church he was a real fire orator, rousing the masses in the name of God.
It was as if he were two different people.
One day she asked him about the dramatic
transformation that came over him when he preached.
“Ah,” he said, “That’s my altar ego.”
A Berel and his wife Shaindel went shopping
together just before the holidays. Shaindel quickly noticed that her husband
was missing and because they had a lot to do she called him on his cell phone.
After Berel picked up the phone his wife said
" Where are you, you know we have lots to do!"
He said "You remember the jewelers we
went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace?
I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for
you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheeks
and she got all choked up and said "Yes, I do remember that shop!!!"
she replied.
"Well I am in the ice cream shop next
door to that.
My Husband died. After He died, I couldn't
even look at another Man for almost 20 years. But now that I'm out of Prison, I
can honestly say it was worth it
Yanky and Esti were grocery shopping when the
husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. "What
do you think you're doing?" asked the wife.
"It's on sale. Only $10 for a case,"
he replies.
"We can't afford it. Put it back,"
Esti demands. They continue shopping and a few minutes later the wife puts a
$20 jar of face cream into the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look
beautiful," replies the wife.
"So does the Budweiser and it's half
the price," retorts Yanky.
"The car won't start," said a
wife to her husband.
"I think there's water in the
carburetor."
"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You
don't even know what the carburetor is."
"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I 'm sure
there's water in the carburetor."
"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it
out. Where's the car?"
"In the swimming pool."
Abe steps out of his building to hail a taxi
and immediately finds one. As he gets in, the cabbie says, “Perfect timing,
just like Saul.”
“Who's Saul?” asks the passenger.
“Saul Gold, of course,” says the
cabbie. “Now there was someone who got what he wanted — like a taxi just
when he needed it. Not like me; I always have to wait ages when I nee
something.”
“Nobody’s perfect," says the passenger.
“Except Saul,” says the cabbie. “Saul
was a great athlete and could have played in the NFL. Not like me – I'm just a
couch potato. Saul danced like Astaire. Not like me. I've got two left feet.”
“Sounds like Saul was really someone special.”
“You can say that again,” says the cabbie. “He even remembered
everyone’s birthday. Not like me. I always forget important birthdays and
anniversaries. And Saul could fix anything in the house. Not like me. If I
change a fuse, the whole neighborhood has a power failure. And Saul knew how to
treat his wife. He could always make her
feel good and never answered her back even if she was in the wrong. He always
complimented her on dinner. Not like me. I'm always getting into arguments with
my wife.”
“What an amazing person. How did you meet him?” asks the passenger.
“Well, I never actually met Saul,” replies the cabbie.
“Then how do you know so much about him?” asks the passenger.
“I married his widow,” replies the cabbie.
Dudu received a parrot for his birthday. The
parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every
other word was a swear word; those that weren't were very rude. Dudu tried to
change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite things and playing soft
music anything he could think of.
Nothing worked. He tried yelling at the bird, but the bird got worse. When he
shook the bird, it got madder and ruder.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, Dudu put
the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing,
squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.
Frightened that he might have actually hurt
the bird, Dudu quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out
onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with
my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to
correct my behavior."
Dudu was astounded at the bird's change in
attitude. Before he could ask what changed him, the parrot said, "May I
ask what the chicken did?"
Bernie says marriage is not a word, it's a
sentence, a life sentence.
Sadie says marriage is a three-ring circus, engagement
ring, wedding ring and suffering.
Bernie and Sadie say that married life is full
of excitement and frustration,
• In
the first year of marriage the man speaks and the woman listens
• In
the second year the woman speaks and the
man listens
• In
the third year they both speak and the
neighbours listen.
Sadie says that getting married is very much
like going to a restaurant with friends, you order what you want but when you see what
the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
Bernie says a happy marriage is a matter of
giving and taking,
the
husband gives and the wife takes.
Son:
How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father:
I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son:
Is it true in ancient China a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?
Father:
That's true everywhere, son.
Sadie says love is one long sweet dream, and
marriage is the alarm clock.
Bernie says that when a man holds a woman's
hand before marriage, it’s love, but after marriage, it’s self-defence.
Bernie told Sadie during their courtship that
he would go through hell for her,
they
got married and now he IS going through hell.
Confucius, he say, “man who sinks into woman's
arms soon have arms in woman's sink.”
Bernie and Sadie say marriage is when man and
a woman become one, the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Bernie says before marriage, a man yearns for
the woman he loves, after the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
Bernie says it's not true that married men
live longer than single men, it only
seems longer.
Bernie says man is incomplete until he gets
married, then he is finished.
Sadie says it doesn't matter how often a
married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
Bernie inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE
WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same
thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
Sadie says when a man opens the door of his
car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing,
either the car is new or the wife is.
Benjamin and Sarah, who were both in their
80’s, invited their grandson Morris to dinner one evening. Morris was impressed
by the way Benjamin preceded every request to Sarah with endearing terms -
Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Sugar Plum, etc. The couple had been
married over 50 years and clearly they were still very much in love. While
Sarah was in the kitchen, Morris said to Benjamin, "Grandpa. I think
it's wonderful that after all these years you still call grandma those loving
pet names."
Benjamin hung his head. "I have to
tell you the truth, Benjy," he said, "I forgot her name about
10 years ago."
**********************************
The
answer to this week”s question is C- I’m
really not enjoying this exam. Another week, another 50/50 score on a question.
I better get my act together. The Part of Carbon dating was easy. I got that
right. Pre-history which is generally dependent on kefira and a universe of tens
of thousands of years old, I guessed that it was the Iron age and was wrong,
the real answer was ksav- writing. Which actually makes sense as even according
to Chazal writing was one of the things created in the ^ days of Creation when “history”
and time begins. So I got this half right and wrong and the score therefore is Rabbi Schwartz 15 and Ministry of Tourism 9
on this exam so far.
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