Untangling the Ram- Rosh Hashana 5787 2026

                                                              Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 11^th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 45 29^th of Elul 5786

 

Rosh Hashana

Untangling the Ram

Click here below for print edition

(Weekly Newsletter - Rosh Hashana 2026  )

 

It's Erev Rosh Hashana. There ain't a lot of time, which kind of stinks for you, I know. Because it's the first Shabbos that you'll have plenty of time over the endless hours in Shul to actually read the whole E-Mail this week, rather than just skipping to the jokes on the bottom. But what can I do? I don't have time to write my usually. So I guess you'll have to read my long family update instead.

 

But what kind of man or Rabbi would I be if I didn't share at least one amazing thought before we went into this special High Holiday season and particularly Rosh Hashana that falls out on Shabbos. As I'm sure everyone that went or heard any shiur this year during the past month knows that years when we don' blow shofar on Rosh Hashana are big significant years, when things go either very bad or very good, but either way, it's a big year.

 

Even if you didn't go to any shiurim you remember the last time this happened which was only three years ago; the year when this war started just a few weeks later. It's not often that this happens with such a small gap of three years. The last time was 2006 and 2009 which were the year that the Lebanon War started in 2006 and the first Gaza war in 2009. Here we are 20 years later and this time it was the opposite, first the Gaza war and now we're back in Lebanon. Who knows what this year has in store for us. One thing, is for sure, it's gonna be big.

 

So what is it about this Shofar-less year that makes it so big? What's our avoda? What's going on in the heavenly realms? Well to answer that we have to understand what the Shofar is all about in the first place. See as we all know it goes back to the Akeida; the binding of Yitzchak. That took place on Rosh Hashana and it's the Torah reading that we read. I found one source that seems to suggest that it might have even taken place on Shabbos. The Shem Mi'Shmuel seems to write that Avraham got there on the "third day" because the three days before Shabbos and the three days after Shabbos are all coming from that energy of Shabbos.

 

Now the truth is it would seem if I wanted to remember the merit of the Akeida and bring it up before Hashem and I had to come up with something, I don't think the Ram's horn which he took after the whole binding story would be the first or even the last thing on anyone's list. I mean, what's the connection? Seemingly the merit we want to recall is that Avraham bound his son and held a knife over his head to ready to nullify every bone and emotion in his body and his soul for the will of Hashem. What would you think is a good way to recall that memory before Hashem? If you asked me I'd go with a gartel. Let everyone tie a rope around themselves. Or how about wave a knife around. Although these days they probably wouldn't let you in shul with it. Maybe it's just to lie still on the floor. Perhaps just wrap your son in your talis. Of if we like food symbols, which it seems is a big thing on Rosh Hashana how about eating a rams head. Actually I think people do that. But why not make that the key to all of Rosh Hashana? What's with the horn?

 

The truth is the whole story with the ram's head being stuck there almost seems like an afterthought of Hashem. Avraham was disappointed that he couldn't kill his son. He had this tremendous avoda that he worked himself up to, this huge madreiga of sacrifice and it was pulled out from under him at the last minute. Imagine someone flying into Israel for Lag Ba'Omer and finding out that he can't go to Reb Shimon. Well at least he's in Israel he can tell himself. So second best he'll go to the Kotel. Maybe Reb Shimon's soul will be there as well… If not he can just daven to Hashem… He's always good in the clutch. Maybe Hashem will even put in a good word by Reb Shimon for him. Sorry… I couldn't resist. It's Erev Rosh Hashana and I'm still so bad….oy… So much teshuva do I have to do…

 

But what if he went to Kerister or Uman and then found out the roads were closed and couldn't get to Reb Shayalah or Rebbi Nachman. That would really suck. I mean he's in farkakteh Ukraine or Hungary. The land is full of the blood of his ancestors. Everyone there hates him and wants to kill him, just like their grandfathers did to yours again and again. It's miserable weather. Hashem isn't there really at all because all the kelipos are out of there already a long time ago. He's got Eretz Yisrael all the time on his screen and Ukraine not so much… Yeah, that would really stink and that's what Avraham Avinu must've felt like when the angel and Hashem told him not to continue with that sacrifice of Yitzchak. It's like an angel telling you don't go to Uman, once you're there already.

 

So Hashem through him a bone or a ram to be more precise. And that ram's horn becomes the symbol of our holiday. It's that which elicits the mercy of Hashem and moves Him from His chair of judgement to the throne of mercy. What's it all about? And why specifically the horn of all things? You've been listening to the Shofar for many years, don't you think it's time you asked this question? Perhaps on this year when we don't have the shofar it makes sense that we notice it's absence and it's the best time to perhaps appreciate it like we never did before. Because whenever we don't have something anymore it's when we can first really appreciate what we lost.

 

The torah tells us one thing about this ram's horn that it was caught in a bush. In fact the midrash tells us that it was running and getting caught from bush to bush to tree even. It seems that this the only thing we know about the horn that we are using for our Rosh Hashana, that it is the part of the animal that replaces the sacrifice of Yitzchak that Hashem keeps getting caught in a bush or tree. That's what we blow. That's what we want to recall before Hashem. That's what on Shabbos we don't need to blow. And by not blowing it the year can go one way or the other. Hmmmm, let's put those pieces together.'

'

Something incredible has happened in Klal Yisrael over the last three years of war. We've had ups and downs. We've had many of our children that have been sacrificed on the altar of Kiddush Hashem and been martyred in defense of our nation and country. We've had many korbanos that Hashem has taken from us.

 

Along with that we've had that sound of the shofar blasting and calling to us again and again. Some times it came in the form of terrifying sirens that had us running to our shelters. Sometimes in the calls for unity. The calls for prayer. The return of so many of our children home to Eretz Yisrael. The land itself is calling to us. The children are returning to the Temple Mount where that Akeida took place. This year will probably be the first year where there will be people actually going up there will blow on Shabbos even where there are sources (Reb Akiva Yakov Shlesinger the Tel Talpiyot and talmid of Ksav Sofer that advocated for it and reputedly even got Reb Shmuel Salant and the Aderet to sign on conceptually- chatgpt it like I did😊). There's a return. There's Geula in the air. Jerusalem is rebuilt. The land is flourishing and the prophecies are being fulfilled.

 

Yet that being said, that horn of redemption in place of the sacrifices of our children is getting stuck in the bush again and again and again. The fighting. The politics. The anti-Torah hatred and persecution. The trust and sumbmission to Trump. To Edom. To the world. There's anti-semitism that we can't get out of. No matter how that poor geula ram is trying to. He's stuck in it. He can't leave. We can't bring that great sacrifice that the world has been waiting for on that mountain top Hashem brought Avraham Avinu and Yitzchak to, because we're too busy focusing on the sacrifice of our children. On our mesirus nefesh for Hashem and on our suffering. But we don't lift up our eyes and see the redemption right in front of us.

 

And thus comes Shabbos. Shabbos is the day when there are no dinim. There are no judgements. We're invited into the Kings Palace. We welcome His Shabbos bride. We are one with Him. We leave the entire world, and the sacrifices and the binding behind us. We don't need to blow the Shofar because Shabbos is a taste of the world to come. But that's only if we are there. That's only if we leave the sacrifice of our children and troubles behind. That's if we walk over to that bush and grab the ram by the horn and untangle it. The Geula is in our hands. We just need to lift up our eyes and walk over to that bush and grab it.

 

On most years, we need to blow the shofar to get that momentum to lift Hashem off that chair and bring Him home. We need to overcome that Satan that is sitting there holding that ram back in our sins and telling us that we're not worthy. We need to keep trying to kill more of our children in needless wars. We need to keep picking up the knife. We need to keep being moser nefesh and standing and davening and banging on our chests. We need to get out of the entangled ways that we may have thought the geula needs to come and that is holding us back and realize Hashem has brought us to the Mountain to build Him a home. To dwell with us. To shine His light out to the world. To finally let us and the whole world know that it has a King.

 

On Shabbos though we don't need that. We're already there. We're in His palace. The ram is out. The Mountain is in our hands. On Shabbos that is Rosh Hashana no one blew shofar anywhere. There was only one shofar that was blown every year that falls out like this one. It was blown in the Beis Hamikdash. Because that's where we all were. That's where our hearts all turned. That's where we were finally redeemed. That's where the inauguration of the Melech Malchei Ha'Melachim is taking place. God willing we should hear it there this year already.

 

Three years ago this process started. It's like the three days that it took Avraham to get to the top of the mountain. Year three is year. On Hoshana Rabba we say Hoshana Shalosh Sha'os. It's three hours. Three times. It's the hours of the past three Rosh Hashanas. May Hashem finally bring that redemption. May we all hear that blast that He is blowing for us this year. May we all be written in the books of Life, of health, of joy , of peace and of teshuva- not repentance merely, but rather of a true and complete return to our Father, our Kings Table.

 

Have a Ksiva V'Chasima Tova- a blessed sweet year,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“An oks hot a lange tsung un ken keyn shoyfer nit blozn."- An ox has a long tongue but can't blow a shofar

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

15. The name of the figure who appeared next to Jesus YOSHKA and Moses at the Transfiguration, according to Christian tradition, is ___________.

 

Which of the four figures below appeared earliest in history?

 A. Rashbi (Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai)

 B. Ramchal (Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto)

 C. Ramban (Rabbi Moshe ben Nahman)

 D. Ha'ari (Rabbi Yitzhak Luria)

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/melech-rachamon – My amazingly beautiful Melech Rachaman composed for Pesach but certainly appropriate for Rosh Hashana the day of our King.

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/haneshama-lach - For all the Selichos my glorious Haneshoma Lach arranged by Dovid Lowy and sung!

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/hashem-melech-r-ephraim-fina  – This song could and should go for at least a half hour. Hashem is our King… My Hahsem Melech song.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYyiqmoWKxA&list=RDKYyiqmoWKxA&start_radio=1 –Kemepehs latest K'hodaato wow!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWbTnK16YWI&list=RDxWbTnK16YWI&start_radio=1 – And here's a whole Two hours of Fried's Yomim Noraim… wow just put it on and listen

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK AS WE START THE SECOND Temple Era!

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE ROSH HASHANA JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he Rick wanted to get into the Shul. In Gants Hill, London on Rosh Hashanah, but without a ticket they don't let you in.

Rick pleads, 'Look, I just want to give a message to Morris in there.'

The man at the door says, 'Sorry sir, you've got to have a ticket.'

Rick replies, 'Just let me in for one minute, then I'll be right out.'

'Alright,' says the man at the door, 'but I better not catch you praying.'

 

There was a shul (synagogue) that was looking for a baal tokea, someone to blow the shofar. A man came to try out but did a terrible job. He asked for a second chance but was told, “Sorry, YOU BLEW IT.”

 

 A man came home on the first night of Rosh Hashana with a brand new tire. His wife asked him, “What in the world is that about?”

He smiled and explained, “In our family, we have a minhag (custom) to eat tires on the first night of Rosh Hashana as a siman that we should have a GOODYEAR!”

 

Irving worked at a Jewish deli and bakery, and he loved most of his regular clientele, except for one guy...... this guy would *always* haggle over how much he should spend, even for things that had a fixed rice clearly marked on the menu board.

One day, the guy comes in, and says, "I want to buy your finest loaf of egg bread for Rosh Hashanah. I have a crisp five-dollar bill for you, Irving, my good man."

"Five dollars? What, do I look like a yutz? A loaf costs $7.95, and that's a good deal. My wife bakes that herself; it's hard to get it perfect, but she does!"

"I know, that's why I only want to buy from you. But surely $5 is a fair offer. Come on, Irving, we've known each other along time..."

"No! My prices are my prices. I can't have separate prices for individual customers!"

Stunned, the customer shoves the money back in his pocket and shrugs his shoulders. "I... I just don't believe it," he mumbles as he walks out the door.

Irving's wife walks up to her husband just as the customer exits. "Honey, what was that all about? You look so upset!"

Irving stammers, "I can't stand challah cost deniers!"

 

Hetty has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience, during which she sees God and asks if this is the end. God says no and explains that she has another 30 or 40 yeas to live. As soon as she recovers, Hetty figures that since she's got another 30 or 40 years, she might as well look her best. So she stays in the hospital and has a face lift, liposuction, Botox – the works.

But tragedy strikes just as Hetty is leaving the hospital, she is knocked over and killed by a car. When Hetty arrives in front of God she asks, "I thought you said I had another 30 or 40 years."

God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."

 

23 year-old Emma is very excited. Last night her boyfriend proposed to her and she is about to tell her parents the good news over breakfast. "Mum, Dad," she says excitedly, "You know Joshua, the new boyfriend of mine I met only a few weeks ago? Well, he wants to marry me and I think he’s just perfect for me."

 

"Mazel tov darling," shouts Fay, as she rushes over to Emma and gives her a big hug and kiss. "I’ve been waiting for such news for some time."

"Well I hope he can support you," Issy says to Emma. "What does this boy of yours actually do for a living?"

"He’s a chazan, dad," she replies.

"Well, that’s not good news," says Issy. "I’ve always said that no daughter of mine is going to marry a chazan. If you insist on marrying him, I won’t be there to see it."

Emma breaks down crying and begs her father to change his mind, but to no avail. Then Emma has an idea. She suggests that at least he should go see Joshua in action, in his shul. Reluctantly, Issy agrees.

The following shabbes, Issy keeps his promise and goes to Joshua’s shul to see him in action. Emma is waiting on the doorstep when he returns home and immediately asks,

"Well dad, what did you think of him?"

Issy replies with a wide smile, "Mazel tov, my darling Emma, I think Joshua will make a good husband for you."

On hearing this, Emma cries with happiness. "Oh dad, I’m so, so happy. But tell me – why have you changed your mind?"

"I haven’t," replies Issy, "Joshua is no chazan."

 

Three rabbis were discussing how to have the best davening experience (prayer) and what the best positions for prayer were. A telephone repairman who was working nearby overheard their conversation.

"Standing and swaying back and forth during the shmone esrei is definitely best," said the first rabbi.

"No," another rabbi contended. "I have the best davening when I’m sitting down saying the shema with my eyes closed."

"You're both wrong," the third rabbi insisted. "The best davening is Kabbalat Shabbat, dancing with my arms outstretched to Heaven."

The repairman could contain himself no longer.

"Rabbis," he interrupted, "the best praying I ever did was hanging upside down from a telephone pole."

 

Rabbi Bloom enters the first grade Hebrew class. It will soon be Rosh Hashanah and he's there to blow the shofar for them. But before he does, he decides to ask them a relevant question. So hiding his shofar behind his back, he says to the class, "Shalom, boys and girls. I have a question for you. Can anyone here tell me what we will see in shul on Rosh Hashanah but which we would not normally see in shul at other times of the year?"

Little Samuel puts up his hand and says, "I know the answer, rabbi. It's my Uncle Joe and Aunt Betty."

 

After the Shabbos service was over, Golda Grunberg meets Rabbi Cohen at the shul door with her young son Shmuel.

"Rabbi," says Golda, "I'm sorry my little Shmuel was so noisy during your sermon."

"That's OK, Golda," says Rabbi Cohen. "These things are not unknown to us rabbis. But do tell me how you managed to get him to keep quiet at the end."

"It was quite easy rabbi," replies Golda. "Fifteen minutes into your sermon, I leaned over to Shmuel and whispered in his ear, 'Shmuel, listen to me carefully. If you don't stop making so much noise, Rabbi Cohen is going to lose his place in his sermon, and if he loses his place, he will have to start his sermon all over again!' And rabbi, he instantly stopped making a noise."

 

Little Moishie Rosenberg called Rabbi Fine, the rabbi of a local synagogue to come by his house to pray for the speedy recovery of his mother who had been very ill with the flu. Rabbi Fine knew the family but was aware they had been attending another shul down the road. So Rabbi Fine asked, "Shouldn't you be calling Rabbi Felder from Shaarei Shamayim congregation where you are members to come by to pray with your mom?"

Young Moishie replied, "Yeah I could but we didn't want to take the chance that Rabbi Felder might catch whatever it is that Mom has."

 

Shira Fried was in charge of the kids Shabbat program at Congregation Beth Israel. She was teaching the kids about decorum in shul and why it was so important. So she took them up to the main sanctuary at the very back to give her lesson up close.

“Why is it necessary to be quiet in shul, especially now during Rabbi Eisen’s sermon?" Shira asked.

Little Rivka Deutch whispered, "Because people are sleeping.

 

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The answer to this week's question is A- Nothing like a good yoshka question to be able write ymeach shmeo next to his name. So I actually got this one right as the answer is Eliyahu Hanavi in their stupid made up bubbeh mayseh religion. Hashem should destroy the church on Har Tavor there this year and Chazal tell us it will join with Har Hacarmel and Har Sinai and come to the the temple Mount for trifecta that holds it up. Part II is obviously easy as well. Reb Shimon! So ending off the year with a good score Rabbi Schwartz having 11.5 points and the MOT having 3.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam

 

All Aboard- Parshat Teruma 5786 2026

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

February 20^th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 18 3^rd of Adar 5786

 

Parshat Teruma

 All Aboard

 

We're on a fast train ride. I don't know, could be by the time I finish and send this E-Mail World War III will have already started. US aircraft carriers, fighter jets, submarines are all lining up in a row. There hasn't been a buildup like this since the Iraq war in 2003, when to a large degree Iran really started developing the power it has today, as it took over the void left by Sadaam who balanced them out. Things are tense here. The only thing certain is that no one knows what Trump can do or when, although most of us have a good feeling as we get closer and closer to Purim, the fun will start. Amalek is getting ready to get destroyed. There's Mashiach energy in the air and the train is moving fast.

 

Now that train is called the Nissan/ Geula/ Bais Ha'Mikdash express. We're going to pass through Parshas Teruma this week, which is our fundraiser for the Bais Hamikdash. It also coincides with the annual fundraiser to my shul which you can donate below towards… I'm just saying. Next is Tetzave, the priestly clothing. We'll stop off and do some mechiyas Amalek along the way with Zachor. Make a short stop in Persia/ Iran and kill the Ayatoilet and his buddies with the help of AchashveiTrump. Then we'll hit Ki Tisa, for those that forgot to donate to our annual campaign and still have some money left after Purim. Finally we end it all off with Vayakhel Pikudie the Bais Hamikdash is built. Boom. We're here. You're here. America is over. It's time to party. Choo Choo, the train is leaving. All aboard.

 

There's a great and famous song from my childhood by the one and only Abie Rottenberg, that those of you that are my age are probably humming right now about a train.  I'll put the link down below in my E-Mail by the music section. It will be right there after the paragraph where you can donate on my annual appeal for my shul. Wait, did I mention that already 😊? The song is that life is really a parable of a train ride. You don't know where you're going, who you'll meet, what section you're in. You can sit back and enjoy the view, or you can be busy on your phone and miss the entire thing. I thought about that song a lot a few weeks ago while Aliza and I took the train through Switzerland to the Alps. While she was on her phone… I was too, but that was just so that I could status it for you guys that are smart enough to check it out daily and live vicariously through our adventures.

 

It was truly magnificent, yet that song and that parable kept ringing through my head with the chorus "You're riding riding, riding, on a train… " I thought about the war we've been through and the journey of our country and nation. Our train ride started in Egypt a few weeks ago in Shemot and at Sinai in Yisro where we picked up our tickets. And here we are ready to build that final Bais Ha'Mikdash, finally a nation redeemed. It's been a bumpy ride. We've had glorious views. We've been in dark tunnels. Lots of people got off along the way. They didn't make it to the final destination. We've had lots of reading material and even wrote quite a few books. There were a small few that would go to the back to daven. There were soldiers coming home or heading out to war. There were rich and poor, business men and shoe makers. There were those on their computers. Some with headphones others just sleeping. And then there were lots of kids laughing and crying and kvetching. When will we get there? Are we almost there yet? One thing they all have in common though, is that everyone aboard knew we were heading somewhere special. That we weren't driving. That the conductor knew where he was going. That we were only there for the ride.

 

It's not just on a national level either. Each one of us, our lives, are one big train ride. That neshoma comes down into our train and heads off for its final destination. It has a few stops that we switch along the way. We start off with a free childhood ticket. Well for girls, its free, boys have to have their tickets clipped… ouch! When we're Bar and Bat Mitzva we get tickets to get our own seat, although our parents are usually paying for them, and they don't really usually nudge you or punish you until you're about 20 or so if you slip up here or there. At least min ha'shamayim. When we get married though, that’s when we really have to pay the full fare. Although there are some lucky guys and gals that still have parents covering them, while they're being moser nefesh for Torah, to sit in the Kollel section. But for most of us that's the main journey. The journey of building a home, a family, a house and a life. It's the reason why we get on the train. It's why we left Mitzrayim. It's what we were put here to do. To get to that final destination, to Yerushalyim, where we can sit down together with the Conductor who brought us there to His House and dwell together with us.

 

I saw an amazing vort from the Radomsker Rebbe this week, that describes the options the Torah gives us for that ticket to that final destination and our journey. I went to town with it because it's really an amazing idea. Let me know what you think… by donating of course on the link below 😊. He notes that the Mishna tells us that a man can get married through three ways. Kesef- money, shtar- a marriage contract, or biyah- through having relations for the purpose of marriage. Anyone of those three ways work, yet the Talmud tells us, (actually for those that are learning Oryasa, we saw this in this week's blatt in Yevamos), that most Jews, then and today, get married through money. Or today we use a ring that is has monetary value which works the same way. These three options, he writes are not just about marriage between husband and wife, they're on a deeper level, our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. They're how he wed us and we Him.

 

The beginning of our journey from Egypt began with money. Hashem got us with all of the wealth that we picked up as we left from Egypt and the "banks" of the Yam Suf. Now you know why they call them banks. And why Jews are good bankers. That journey brought us on the train ride through the midbar where we then took that money, in this week's parsha and lovingly donated it back to Hashem to build the house for Him. As well, it is the parsha of Shekalim the first of the four parshiyos and ways of getting to the final geula. It's with money. It's investing financially and making that commitment out of our own pocket into that special house and relationship we are looking to build. It's clicking on the link below. It's the way the Talmud tells us most Jews connect and get married. Then and now. We write checks. We pay the piper. We have tzedaka and chesed organizations. It's natural and easy. Yet, at the same time, it's really the least personal. It's paying a bill and cracking open your wallet. But it's not your soul or necessarily even your heart.

 

The second Temple and the return of the Jews to Eretz Yisrael happened with the declaration of Cyrus. It happened with a shtar- a contract that we could return. If you want to learn more about that, then you could check out our Era's and places in Israel column below that has been building up to that precise point in our history. If you have trouble finding that column it's right before the jokes that you usually skip to and after the link that you probably want to stop at and donate to as well… Now a shtar a contract is much more than handing over a donation. It's a commitment. It's writing something from within yourself and putting those thoughts into words on to paper. It touches the mind and even the heart and makes it real. It's a lot deeper then reaching for your wallet, swiping with a card, or clicking on your phone. In fact, I know a gvir once that told me, that on Purim and in general he prefers writing checks then just handing out money specifically for that reason. He wants to sign his name on that donation. He wants to put himself on that paper and be part of the project or cause he is donating to.

 

That process of getting married through shtar, corresponds to the second of the four parshiyot; Zachor, remembering and reading from a sefer, the mitzva to wipe out Amalek. The story of Purim, which was the ride to the train station for the trip back to build the second Temple, is all about sefarim being written. Achashveirosh and Haman's sefarim, getting knocked out by the sefarim of Mordechai and Esther. And ultimately this return is led by none other than… Ezra the Sofer- the scribe. The shtar writer.  It begins with all of Israel signing on a proper marriage contract and getting rid of all of their fake goyish marriages. It's kinyan shtar. It's that commitment to destroy Amalek and getting rid of all false treaties we may have signed on that with goyish wives from Oslo and commit to the Torah Shtar we were given that promises us the entire land as a home for Hashem.

 

As well, it corresponds to the next level and Jewish relationship, ticket to Hashem and marriage of the Torah yid. The one that doesn't just donate and contribute, but the one that actually sits down and reads and writes and studies and learns the shtar. This process isn't done by everyone. There are some and perhaps even the majority of Klal Yisrael which are happy being kinyan kesef- donation Jews. Most of them didn't come back for the second Temple. Their money and nursing homes were in Bavel. In Iran. In New Jersey. They missed out on the neis Chanuka. The Torah Jews and anshei kneses ha'gedola did return. It's through them that the period of the second Temple happened.

 

Finally, after Purim and the destruction of Amalek, Persia, Iran, we come to the third parsha; Parah. This is the final redemption. We read it on parshat Ki Tisa when Moshe sprinkles the holy waters of the ashes of the sin of that burnt smashed Golden calf on the Jewish people. It is Kedushei Bi'yah- it is when we become the most intimate with Hashem. It's when all of the idols and previous more external methods of connecting aren't around anymore. There's no kiddushei kesef, there's no shtar, no Torah that protects. It's not like there's no money or even Torah. But it's not li'shmah. It's not li'sheim kiddushin for the sake of marriage to Hashem. For the sake of building His house. Our house. It's money that's given for ulterior motives. It's Torah that's learned because that's the system. It's what we do. And kiddushin she'lo li'shma doesn't work. Doesn't last. Doesn’t build a Temple la'netzach.  

 

Do you know what Jews that corresponds to today? It's the "Hashem" Jews. It's the one that may not have money, may not donate, may not have Torah or lomdus or shas. Maybe they just have the tikkun klali they recite, the kumzitzes where they sing and pour out their hearts to Hashem, the forest they go to at night and have hisbodidus- meditation, or perhaps even just got to a dance festival and sing and dance to Hashem. The ones that want their souls, not just their minds, their books, not just their wallets, their dress and their beketches to be connected and married. They want heart and soul. They want Lavo B'heichalo- they want bi'yah, that personal intimate relationship, that those holy hostages of ours that were held in the tunnels of Gaza expressed they felt.

That's the First Class car on the train. That's the last leg of the journey. That's the method of Kiddushin that perhaps in earlier generations our Rabbis frowned upon. But yet in the final geula, it's the choo choo that will get us there.

 

It's fascinating to look at the return in the last century of our galus that we're experiencing in regards to the Jewish people's connection to Eretz Yisrael. It started off with Kiddushei Kesef. People didn't come, but they donated. Take my money and leave me alone. Leave me here in Europe in the alteh heim, before Hashem wiped out those that didn't come. Leave me alone in America and I promise I'll visit and spend money there. I'll send duffle bags full of drones and helmets if you guys have a war. I'll plan trees for your Bar Mitzva. I'll even send money and support Kollel's there. They were wed to the land through money. Shekalim.

 

In recent years especially with the rise of anti-semitism and with lots of money and not much to do with it, more a more have been buying places here "paper". Some can only afford to buy a grave here on HarMenuchos or in Eretz Ha'Chayim. Others actually have an apartment. A place in Shneller, Jerusalem Estates and maybe even a "retirement" house or a place to escape to for the holidays or in case they throw us out of the country we're living in, that we can eventually move to. It's Kiddushei Shtar. They're making a stronger commitment. They're paying property taxes. They're saying that Israel is my home. It's my destination. But they haven't had bi'yah yet. They haven't yet consummated the relationship. They haven't yet divorced their other false wives. They're not yet ready to come and build that eternal palace. To fight for it. To vote for it. To be part of it. They're happy just being guests and watching the wedding on Zoom.  They're not ready to get into that first class car on the train. They're just waiting on the platform for a plane ride on some eagle's wings. They don't like to ride on trains. What they don't realize though is, it's too late. The conductor said "all aboard" and we're there. No Jew will be left behind. We're coming to the final stop.

 

The last parsha is Chodesh. We'll read it Va'Yakhel and Pikudei. The Parsha of "and He gathered and He redeemed or counted". That's the parsha of the last destination. That's when we will read that this month is the New month of all months. That's when we will bless the month of redemption of Nissan. When the train ride will finally arrive. So come on aboard the train. Take your ticket. No two are the same. We'll soon be going for a ride. There's no where to run, no place to hide. We're riding, riding, riding on a train…

 

Have a joyous Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" Az men shmirt—fort men.- When you grease the wheels- it moves.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/layehudim    - Getting into the Purim mode? Put on our dancing Shoes for my amazing La'Yehudim composition arranged and sung by Dovid Lowy!

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sk0xViBOJSM   - Shlomo Carlebach on Amalek and Purim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_o34yjqBv4  – Mordechai Shapiro's latest hot off the press Ad D'Dlo Yada..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V7mK9RULyc&list=RD8V7mK9RULyc&start_radio=1 – Motty Weiss HaKol La'Tova… for my Karmielim check it out and see if you can spot any Karmiel Tour guides or "former?" rebbeim on this video…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtTNHiyxiXE&list=RDWtTNHiyxiXE&start_radio=1    – Joey's latest Ameilim Ba'Torah for the Adirei Torah…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

21. The process by which water and carbon dioxide dissolve limestone bedrocks is called_______? What kind of rock is dolomite?

A. Marine sedimentary rock

B. Terrestrial sedimentary rock

C. Igneous rock

D. Metamorphic rock

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

The Service Starts? - 369 BC- So just like our E-Mail above declares, the return to Yerushalayim has begun. Fascinating enough, although as we said most Jews didn't take the opporotunity of that window that Koresh had provided. The great leaders and the prophets Chaggai Zecharia and Malachi did, the final prophets of Israel did. Yet, that window closed very quickly. Chazal tell us in the Talmud in Rosh Hashana that Koresh/ Cyrus needed some work done back in his palace, maybe he was expanding his West Wing 😊 and when he was told that the Jewish laborers had headed off to Israel, then regretted and pulled the plug on the project. He closed the window. He said that those who had crossed he Euphrates already could stay, but the ones that remained can't go. It's a scary message and warning for our times as well. Remember Jewish history repeats itself. "Binu Shnos Dor V'Dor" Hashem tells us. Understand and internalize the lessons of the past. For if you don't you will be doomed to repeat the same mistakes….

 

The ones that returned though received three laws from those prophets which are actually perhaps even relevant today? The first was the location of where the mizbayach altar was on the destroyed Temple Mount of which there were no remains from the first Temple. The second was that they were given permission to expand the original altar to 60 Amos from its original size which was much smaller. It seems that they had big plans. And the third and most important ruling was that it was permitted to bring offerings already even before the Mikdash was built. We don't need a Bais Ha'Mikdash to bring korbanos. Just an altar we build that's holy in it's proper place.

This halacha led to much practical discussion and debate when the Jews in modern times returned to Eretz Yisrael and there were great Rabbis that discussed bringing the Pesach offering and even other public offerings that are permitted to brought even when we are still tamey. Most notable was Reb Tzvi Hirshc Kalisher in his work Derishas Tziyon and Reb Akiva Yosef Shlesinger, a primary Talmud of the Ksav Sofer from Hungary in his work of Lev Ivri. They were opposed by Reb Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld of the old Yishuv who felt that it was not kdai to start up with the goyim. Rav Tzvi Pesach Frank as well was for the concept yet, was not sure of exact location of mizbayach with more technical objections than political ones. Ultimately the main consensus was that this is not to be done and thus it stands until today.

 

Yet, back then the service began right away. That first Yom Kippur offerings were brought without a temple. As well as holiday offerings of Sukkos and after that the twice daily sacrifices of the Korban Tamid. For a whole year all we had was a mizbayach. It's almost incomprehensible to us today to think about real sacrifices without a Bais Ha'Mikdash, yet that's how the second Temple period started. With us doing our part first and then only a year later did the actual construction begin. So it was then… Maybe it's something we need to think about today as well…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE TRAIN JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

My boss said to me, "you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"

I said, "I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."

 

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel

An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel

A realist sees a freight train

The train driver sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks

 

A Guy sat next to me on the train. He pulled a out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

I said, "If you think she is beautiful, you should see my missus mate.

He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"

I said, "No, she's an optometrist!"

 

I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said, "Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place...."

I asked, "Are you single?"

She replied, "No, I am a dentist."

 

A train conductor ends up killing two people while on the job. He is found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. When the day comes, he is asked what he would want for his last meal, and he requests a banana. After finishing his meal, he is strapped to the chair and electrocuted. However, by some miracle, he ends up surviving.

 

Seeing as he technically served his sentence, he is released from prison, where he gets a job as a train conductor. This time, he ends up killing three people while on the job and is sentenced to the electric chair. The day comes, and for his last meal, he asks for two bananas. He finishes them and gets strapped to the chair, but he ends up surviving the electrocution again. He was released from prison for the same reason as before.

He gets another job as a train conductor and ends up killing four people this time. He is sentenced to the electric chair again, and for his last meal, he asks for three bananas. He finishes his meal and gets strapped to the chair. The guards shock him for longer than necessary and use more power, but he ends up surviving again.

The guards, all surprised, ask him, "How do you keep surviving every time? And why do you keep ordering bananas, do they save you?" The man replies, "It has nothing to do with the food, I'm just a really bad conductor."

 

Did you hear about the crazy guy that only kills on trains? I was told he has a loco motive.

 

How does a train hear another train coming? With its engin-ears.

 

A tourist was riding the train across Israel when suddenly everything started rocking violently.

People were being thrown out of their seats and luggage was flying everywhere. Then, as suddenly as it started, everything is back to the calm, smooth ride he was used to. Everyone sorted themselves out and found seats again.

When they reach the next stop, the man went forward to the engine car and asked the conductor what had happened. The conductor replied "We hit an Arab."

The man couldn't believe it. "You mean hitting a person caused that?!"

The conductor looked at him and explained "Well he was in the ditch, but we got him anyways."

 

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?? The teacher tells you to to spit out the gum, while the other says "chew-chew!".

 

My mum used to feed my brother and I by saying ‘here comes the train’, and we always used to eat it straight away. Otherwise she wouldn’t untie us from the tracks.

 

A few months ago, my wife and I were taking a nice walk down an old dirt road during the heat of the summer day. All of a sudden, I stopped and looked around. My wife was a little hesitant as to what I was doing. I slowly moved towards the railroad tracks ahead of us and knelt down, putting my hand on the steel. I looked both ways, sniffed my fingers, and contemplated for a few seconds. I turned and looked at my wife and told her that a train has been through here. She looked confused and asked how I knew. I told her, pointing to the railroad, "Because there are its tracks".

Shaking her head, she let out a sign of disappointment as she turned her back and walked away. I giggled.

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The answer to this week's question is A–Well this week makes up for last week. It was a hard question. Geology isn't my favorite topic. But I managed to swing this one right. I was actually at Mitzpe Ramon this past week and there I spoke about the erosion and they even have a movie that shows the process of carbon dioxide dissolving the rock and form it. As well was at the Stalactite and Stalagmite caves and saw the process there as well that forms those things. Dolomite as well is that sedimentary rock that is formed from the sea. I speak about that by Rosh Hanikra. So this is pretty basic tour guiding geology. So I'm back in the game with a new score  of Rabbi Schwartz having a 14.5 points and the MOT having 6.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.