Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile
Showing posts with label assimilation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label assimilation. Show all posts

Friday, January 17, 2025

Inaugural Adress- Parshat Shemot 5784 2025

 from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

January 16th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 12 17th of Tevet 5785

 

Parshat Shemot

Inaugural Adress


He didn’t ask me to give his inauguration speech or invocation. He didn’t even ask me to give a blessing or make a L’chaim. I’ll forgive the Donald that. It’s his loss. People pay a lot of money to hear me talk all day long. People print up my E-Mail each weekly for their Shabbos table. Some even sponsor it… after I nudge them enough and drop not so subtle hints. Some… So I’m not offended. I have enough of an ego to withstand this slight. Not as big as his, but a healthy enough sense of self-confidence to withstand it. It’s his loss.


Yet, I really wish that he had asked me to speak. I have some important things to say. Things that would hopefully give him light and guidance in these trying and troubling times. To a large degree our your new red-headed or at least red hair pieced president is the final king of Edom before Mashiach comes. He’s the last descendant of his red headed zaidy, “uncle Esau”, before Mashiach comes. He could certainly use some pointers on how to get out of this thing in one piece. On how to get home. How to take his rightful role since he sold us that birthright so long ago. Yeah… not all his deals were good either…Things that probably nobody else will tell him, besides me. It’s really one of the biggest problems I think facing Israel and the world today. Not enough people are listening to me or reading these E-Mails. This could’ve been over long ago. But I guess that’s just part of the hiddenness of Hashem’s word and light in this final generation.


Now I know that Trump has a lot of good Jewish advisers. Many of them even Frum Jews that believe in Hashem, keep Shabbos and eat chulent. Yet, even they are a little bit intimidated to really speak their minds. Maybe they’re scared of getting fired. We all know he tends to do that. As well, I’m not sure that they all get it either. They don’t all subscribe to my E-Mail. It’s pretty obvious. I mean they’re still living in the States and haven’t made Aliya, right?


So really, like usual it’s just up to me to put it out there. I like Trump. I think that he has potential. He could do the right thing. Much like Pharaoh he even has a daughter that found Hashem and converted. Although I do think it’s funny that Batya, the daughter of Pharaoh found a Jewish boy and called him Moshe- “pulled out” of the water, while Ivanka’s Jewish boy is named Jared- which means to go down.., but we’ll leave that on side.. of the river. As well I believe that just because I wasn’t asked to speak doesn’t mean that everyone else should lose out on the important words of wisdom that I would share. Just like eating has nothing to do with being hungry, my speaking or sharing my opinion, Torah and light- which are really all the same thing- has nothing to do with being asked or invited to do so.


I know you and he were probably concerned about me speaking, because there are those out there that might have told them that I might go on and on and on and have a tendency to speak and write very long. I don’t think they or perhaps even you appreciate how much I don’t say and edit out each week. I only leave the very essential stuff… Ok, now I admit, that’s not really true. But the truth is if they would’ve asked me to speak, I really would have only one very short important message. I could really say all I need to say in a few short sentences. My inauguration speech would be really something like this.


Bi’rishus all of the great honorees, dignitaries and of course the President and the former presidents and the important kahal that is gathered here today. Mazel tov President Trump on your election. It’s shoyn tzeit, as we say in the frum world. Many Jews have been waiting for this moment longer and sadly more anxiously then for Mashiach. Particularly the ones that need tax deductions and presidential pardons that they couldn’t buy off the last guy. I wish you all the best in this new job. And I have one message, request, and piece of advice for you as you take on this new role for the second time.


 Please don’t kill the Jews in your country. Please do not throw their babies into the river and drown them. Please don’t take my friends, family, readers, supporters and clients and put them into concentration camps and gas them to death. Don’t even take the ones that don’t read my E-Mail and have even unsubscribed. They’re my brothers and sisters too. I beg and implore you dear President, despite our many sins as a nation, we still represent that light of Hashem in the world. It’s not your job to destroy us. Don’t even force them to build pyramids in your honor. Jewish construction is really very overrated. We gave that up thirty-five hundred years ago.


Don’t murder us. Don’t persecute us. Don’t try to genocide or October 7th my nation in America or in Israel for that matter as well. Don’t Crusade us. Don’t make a decree to kill men women and children in one day, certainly not in the month of Adar. It really won’t work out well for you if you try. It never does.”


 Yes, I know that in every goy our sages tell us there is an innate halachic tendency to hate us. Esau sonei es Yaakov. It goes back a long way and gets restrained here and there over time, but always surfaces. “Never Again” is always again. But you can overcome this. You can be better. You can help us bring Mashiach. I know that its going to be a big task to get the so many that feel way too comfortable over there in the US of A “medina shel chesed”, meatboards, large houses, Teslas and of course Torah like it’s never been learned before to leave and come to Israel where they need to be for the light of Hashem to shine out. But that’s not your problem to deal with. You don’t have to expel them. You don’t have to take away their rights. Their education and yeshivas. Their Pizza shops. Leave that to Hashem.


God Bless the President and the United States of America. Amen


See, that wasn’t too long, was it? Now, I know that it sounds a little dramatic. And that many of you out there reading this probably feel that this is really not such a necessary speech to be giving. After-all this is Trump, not Biden, Obama, or Kamala. He’s “our” guy. We’re good. Even I voted for him. But the reason I voted for him was probably a little different than yours. See, my feeling is that with the other team it would probably take a lot longer until we get a good Mashiach-bringing, Armageddon-like, Gog U’Magog, Nuclear war. It would just keep on being the same-old same-old pacifying the Amalakite, evil-doers and shlepping this thing out longer and longer. Another few missiles. Another few dead soldiers and attacks. We kill a few more of their “commanders that participated in October 7th attack. (Am I the only one out there that seems to find it strange how many “commanders” there were and are?) But nothing really changes. Another deal. Or not… It’s tiring.


This thing isn’t over until we finally realize that the only end is when it goes ballistic. Literally. Pshuto k’mashma’o as we say in yeshiva. And that’ ain’t happening with the Dem’s. With Trump though, if someone makes fun of his hair or gives him a nickname he doesn’t like, this baby can escalate faster than you can say “Little Rocket Man” in Korean. And that my friends is where we have to get to…


But yes, despite the fact that I voted for him, I’m nervous. I read this week’s parsha. I saw the Netziv in the Ha’amek Davar and it’s insane how similar our situation is and how often this happens to us. Let’s open up the Chumash this week to the story of our first national exile. To the book of Shemot, the book of Exile and Redemption and try to understand what happened to us and what we need to be wary of today.


As we all know the Jews were in Egypt for 210 years. We finished last week’s and the Book of our the story of our Patriarchs with perhaps one of the most chilling endings, according to the Midrash.

And Yosef died at 110 years old and they embalmed him and placed him in a coffin in Egypt.

Chazak Chazak Vi’NitChazek!


That’s it. The end. The Midrash notes that until Yosef died the Jews pretty much stayed in their Ghetto in Goshen. They didn’t assimilate. Yosef made sure of that. But once he was gone, the Jews placed him in a coffin in Egypt. They made a big statue of the founding fathers of Egypt of which Yosef was. They were proud Egyptians and they wrote a lot of books about how the Jews were really behind everything there. Columbus was a Jew. Lincoln had Jewish advisers. We fought in the Civil War. We were decorated in Korea. We were all over that “Jew lover” Roosevelt’s cabinet. Forget about all of the industries we started. Medical breakthroughs. Every Egyptian college had like 50% Jews. Doctors, Lawyers, Pyramids construction. Egyptian nursing homes. We left Goshen and took over Egypt.


The Torah fascinatingly enough doesn’t tell us much about the 100 or so years of the worst persecution and suffering our nation experienced and the cause of it. All it gives us is a verse or two. But those verses say it all.


And the Jewish people were paru- fruitful, vayishratzu- they spread out like insects, they increased and became strong- very very much so and the land filled with them.


We all know this from our Pesach Seder and we all talk about the famous Rashi how they each had 6 children at once (as there’s six terminologies used). But let’s talk real here, what the pasuk is telling us is everything we need to know, the Netziv tells us. What happened is that we basically took over Egypt. The Midrash tells us that when it tells us that land was filled with Jews


There weren’t any circuses or theaters that weren’t full of the Jews.”


We started the Egyptian Hollywood. Another Midrash tells us that it was in this period, after the death of Yosef that Jews stopped circumcising themselves. The Chasidic Rebbe’s read the words homiletically. The land filled them. We became obsessed with becoming part of the land that we were living in. We hung flags on our doorposts and we’re proud Yankee Fans.


Do you know what it means that they put Yosef in a coffin in Mitzryaim? Yosef, who had done the opposite of what they were doing, Yosef, who never assimilated and was so concerned about that happening. Yosef who named his first son Menashe to remind himself that he wasn’t Egyptian. That he was “displaced” like the gid ha’nasheh sciatic nerve, from his father’s house. Yosef who even went out and circumcised all of Egypt in order to raise them up, rather then to see us fall and become uncircumcised like them. We buried that Yosef in a coffin in Egypt in the bottom of the Nile. We turned him around and fake-newsed him on his head in his grave and spun him into a proud Egyptian that would be our entrance into the Egyptian congress, White House. We became more Egyptian and American then the Egyptians. We all voted for the new Pharaoh whose platform was to MAKE EGYPT GREAT AGAIN. We put those bumper stickers on our donkeys’ backside and proudly felt that we have finally made it. Slavery, persecution, kidnapping that was all stuff of the past. There’s a new Pharaoh in town and we were very very influential. He liked Jews.


The next verse tells us that a new Pharaoh got up that didn’t know Yosef. I’m sure the Rosh Yeshiva of The Goshen Yeshiva University was invited to speak by his inauguration and the Agudath Yisrael of Cairo delegation recited the shehechayanu on national TV. What a Kiddush Hashem… The Israeli flag of the 12 tribes waved proudly behind the Egyptian one. Pharaoh’s cute daughter Batya was even seen eyeing some of the nice Jewish boys over there… When Pharaoh looked out at this nation and the huuuuge crowds. Because Pharaoh always had huge crowds- not like the other guy. He didn’t see Yosef. He didn’t see that old ghetto circumcised slave boy that had once come to Egypt. Pharaoh didn’t see him or know him, because we buried him in a coffin in Egypt.


We had stopped speaking about the Yosef whose entire life was dreaming about returning to Eretz Yisrael. Who despite being given an Egyptian name by Pharaoh of Tzofnat Panayach- which is a pretty impressive title (revealer of the hiddenness), never used that name. He stayed Yosseleh. He never even called himself Joseph. But Pharaoh didn’t see him or know that guy anymore. He saw Jews who had forgotten that they were strangers in a strange land. That every minute that they were assimilating and feeling comfortable over there they were renouncing their divine mandate to return to Israel and bring the Shechina down to the world. Pharaoh looked out at this new strange nation who had maybe still wore their Yarmulkas and Shtreimels and kept their Jewish names and spoke yiddish and Hebrew but were also wearing Charles Tyrill togas and driving Teslas, building their own palaces in a country that they were clearly planning on staying in for a very long time if not forever.


The Navi Yechezkel (chapter 20-a very worthwhile perek to read through) tells us of how the Jews at that time rejected Hashem, how they reached the 49th level of Tuma and how primarily they wished to become “a nation like the others”. They didn’t want to leave when Hashem wanted to take us out. They were happy and integrated and comfortable in Mitzrayim. And thus Hashem poured out his Chamas upon them. Then, as Dovid Hamelech writes


Hafach libam lisno amo- he turned their hearts around to hate our nation.


The Egyptians that were once our best friends. That were our neighbors. Our clients. Our candidates. Our employees that we treated so nicely. That we enriched. Hashem turned their hearts around to despise us. To kill us. To give them thoughts of Anti-Semitism that we will take over their country entirely. That we will join their enemies. So they killed us. They threw our babies in the river. They put us into camps. They took off the yellow ribbons that they were wearing five minutes ago when they said “Don’t’ and “There will be Hell to pay” and turned them into yellow stars that they made us wear. It flipped in one second, because Yosef was dead. We had buried him. We forgot his message that he told Pharaoh “Mi’Biladai Elokim Ya’aneh Shlom Pharaoh- That Hashem is the only one that is controlling the world. And instead we put a big red Pharaoh MAGA sticker on our bumper.


We thought that with his election and the new patriotic American Egyptian Jew that shares a belief in a Higher power-with Pharaoh of course, rather than the Yosef that had the guts to get up by his inauguration and tell Pharaoh that he’s a nothing. That Hashem is everything. That no one has any power besides Hashem. We thought that if he saw a different Jew it would buy us at least another four years before we have to give up our nice house in Pico- Ramses, Pitom- Robinson, Pitom Ramses…. 😊and move to our nice smaller apartment in Shneller.


The Netziv writes that this has always been the problem “it’s why in every generation Hashem sends them up against us to destroy us”. V’ehi She’amda l’avoseinu.


he Netziv lived in a period of Torah flourishing like it never did before with his yeshiva of Volozhin. It was like living in Goshen. They were in the Lithuania but they felt like they were in Jerusalem. A holy Jerusalem. And yet everything turned. The enlightenment movement took hold Jews began to assimilate and the government turned against the Jews in one second. They ordered them- and there were many Jews behind these decrees, to start including secular education, to start reading their newspapers, to leave our bubble and become part of them. One of them. To bury Yosef. The Netziv even agreed to secular studies, but only outside of the walls of the yeshiva. That wasn’t acceptable to them. They couldn’t leave the walls of the Beit Midrash pure. They couldn’t leave Yosef alive. They needed to bury him in a coffin in Lita. In Uman. In Kerister. In Crown Heights. So he shut the doors and started the Chibas Tzion movement. Because he understood that there was only one place to go and one reason Hashem was doing this. He writes then.


The voice of Hashem is knocking on the entrance of our doors saying, open me up an entrance with our work because the hour has come when it will never again be said that Eretz Yisrael is a land that is abandoned, and none are seeking her out to return to her.” 


He never merited to return here. Like Yosef, he was buried there. Yet the Kibbutz Ein Ha’Netziv in the Jordan Valley is named after him. His students made there way here a decade before Herzl’s secular Zionist movement even spoke about a return to Israel. Yet sadly and tragically just as in Egypt 4/5ths of our nation never saw the writing on the wall and perished in slave pits of Europe.


We have two verses that describe that century of our persecution in Egypt. The first is our flourishing. B’Me’od me’od. And the second is the immediate flip. The slavery. The persecution. The decrees. The babies. The beatings. The demonstrations. The destruction and chaos that we never dreamed our friend Pharaoh who we put into office and the country which we built and saved and circumcised could ever bring down upon us. It’s all we needed to know then and it’s all we need to know now. The rest of the Book of Shemot is a story of only two years. The rest of the Torah is about 40 years, of which we really only have details about 2 of them. Yet that first century of our history, of our founding is in just these two verses. It’s a short speech, yet its words our eternal.


The Navi tells us that when Mashiach comes the miracles and redemption will be even greater than when we left Mitzrayim. Perhaps the greatest miracle will be that this time around, we are told No Jew will be left behind. We are all coming this time around. We will all come to the realization that our purpose is not to have an Israeli flag waving humbly behind a sitting president’s inauguration or as one of the hundreds waving at the entrance to the UN. Rather it’s that the flag of Hashem, of Mashiach ben Yosef and Ben Dovid are waving at the inauguration and really the only inauguration that we should be hoping for and even occupied or thinking about. There is only one Melech Chadash- one King who we wish to see inaugurated upon the entire world. Everything else is just Pharaoh in Mitzrayim. May His reign finally be revealed to all.


Have a liberating Shabbos!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 


************************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

““Ven er iz tsvey mol azoy klug, volt er geven a goylem!.” - If he were twice as smart, he'd be an idiot! 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

4. The city of Beit She'an was known during the Roman period by the name of ______

The Lod mosaic presents scenes related to:

A. Blessing of the Nile

B. Shipping and the sea

C. Binding of Isaac

D. The Zodiac wheel

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUzeP9J1PyE   V’hinei Naar Bocheh abeautiful parsha song nice words.. and idea..


 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wu1weM-42Y – Kempeh Classics… Fantastic…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLdofCIrHd0 – Matisyahu “The Father’s Live” The Carlebach classic like you’ve never heard before. Like it or not?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt-wMk59OwM – Ari Goldwag’s latest release Tikva Tova… Beautiful…


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


The other Pharaoh- 609 BC – We start the book of Shemot this week and we meet Pharaoh. As this column seems to find its way more often than not into the weekly parsha in our journey into the end of the reign and the death of King Yoshiyahu we meet Pharaoh as well. As well, I just started Mesechet Megilla this week with with the Amud Yomi program of Oraysa and it was amazing to find this Pharoah there as well. Cool!

 

 This Pharaoh is called Pharaoh Necho by the Navi. The name our sages tell us he got when he attempted to sit on the famous throne of King Shlomo. The throne was perhaps one of the most incredible ever created. Our sages tell us that it had mechanical animals that would lift him from step to step. The first step was a golden lion facing a golden ox. The second had a wolf facing a lamb. The third a tiger facing camel. The next steps had various birds along the same theme finally when he made it to the final seventh step a golden eagle would fly down and place his crown on his head. I heard that Trump was looking to have a similar one built for his inauguration 😊. Well it seems that when Pharaoh Necho tried to go up this throne that he took from Yoshiyahu the lion gave him a big kick and he became a cripple.

 

Now this Pharaoh seemingly had a treaty with Ashur or Syria as we know it. Yet there was a new enemy that was rising in the world, that would eventually become a world power and destroy the Temple. Welcome Bavel or Iran to the world domination game. So when Ashur was getting attacked from Bavel who was also in control of Charan which is North of Syria in Turkey. Pharaoh came to help them in battle. It seems that these guys are always looking to join one another in wars that don’t really concern them. Yoshiyahu wasn’t a fan of the idea. We’ll talk about that next week.

 

Let’s just jump to the end of game of Pharaoh. It turns out that he lost the battle to Bavel. He came back home afterwards and then in an incredible feat he actually sent boats of Phoenicians that served under him to circumnavigate the entire continent of Africa and was in the process of building a canal there connecting the Red and Mediterranean seas. This made him the first King in history to travel and conquer that far to the African coast that wasn’t replicated until the Portuguese sailor Vasco De Gama did 2000 years later!

 

Yet with this Pharaoh as we will see the beginning of the end of the great Egyptian empire will begin to fall and the new empire of Bavel arises. We are in the last half century before the Churban and the map of the world and the chaos is beginning.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TRUMP INNAUGURATION JOKES OF THE WEEK


On the night of his inauguration, Donald Trump is visited by 3 ghosts

Early in the night, FDR appears. Trump asks him "how can I make America great again?"

FDR replies "think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets"

Trump's face sours "FAKE NEWS!" he screams and FDR disappears. Trump falls back to sleep.

A few hours later, he is awakened by George Washington's ghost. Trump asks "how can I make America great again?"

Washington replies "I would suggest you never tell a lie", which infuriates Trump. He screams for his bodyguards but Washington is already gone.

 

Trump asks: Barack, your approval ratings are pretty high. I love ratings bigly. Can you give me some tips?

Obama: The key is having a strong administration. I make sure that my administration not only works hard but is also composed of smart people.

Trump: What do you mean?

Obama summons Biden.

Obama (to Biden): Joe, I have a question for you. Who is a son or daughter of your parents but not your sibling?

Biden: It is me Barack!

Obama to Trump: See, that is how we roll...

After inauguration Trump decides to test this on Pence.

Trump: JD I have a question for you. Who is a son or daughter of your parents but not your sibling?

After some brainstorming Vance says "It is me!".

Trump furious: What are you talking about loser? It is Joe Biden. You are fired!

 

Obama, Biden and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in."

God asks Biden first: “What do you believe?"

He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen".

God can’t help but see the simple goodness of Biden and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Obama and says, "What do you believe?"

Obama says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. Like Obama I believe in hard work. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true patriot and a loyal American."

God is greatly moved by Obama's eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Trump and says, "And you, Donald, what do you believe?"

Trump replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

 

A Russian spy under the alias of “Joe Smith” is arrested by American officials. He is put in an interrogation room and confronted by an official, Agent Perry.

Smith: “I don’t understand, why am I being interrogated?”

Perry: “Drop the act, Smith, if that even is your real name. We know you’re a foreign spy!”

Smith: “WHAT? No! I’m a real American, I can name all 46 Presidents of the United States, in order, with the dates of their inaugurations and their Vice Presidents.”

Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”

Smith: “You’re all wrong! I can name all fifty states, US territories, and all their capitals!”

Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”

Smith: “Wait… I know every word of the national anthem, the pledge of allegiance, the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!”

Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”

Smith: “Ok, I submit, I’m a Russian spy under a fake name. But… how could you tell?”

Perry: “Because Americans don’t know any of those things.”

 

Yankel is elected president. Soon after, he calls up his mother to tell her the good news. "Mom, did you hear, I've been elected president!"

"Oy, Yankeleh, That's so great to hear, darling. I'm so proud of you!"

"So," he asks "you'll be coming out for the inauguration, right?"

"I'm not sure," says his mother, "D.C. is so cold this time of year."

"I'm the president, mom. I can arrange for you to get any sweater you want."

"I'm still not sure," continues his mother, "flying across the country is such a hassle."

"Mom, I'll have you flown out here on Air Force One. It'll be no trouble to you." Finally, his mother agrees.

The day of the inauguration rolls around, and his mother is seated between the Vice President and the Secretary of State. As he’s being sworn in, his mother nudges the vice president.

"You see that boy up there? The one with his hand on the Bible? His brother's a doctor. "

 

The date is 20 January 2025. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Biden and says "You're Fired".

 

The Pope and Donald Trump are standing in front of the large crowd gathered for his innauguration

The Pope says to Trump, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that, with one wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

 

What did Trump say to Biden when he bumped into him intentionally in the hallway of the White House as he was leaving. Pardon me, please.

 

An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night. There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!

Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"

His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed.

 

If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though.

 

Trump says to Vance, "China's mining too many ores"

Vance: What are you going to do?

Trump: Order more tariffs to make them mine less.

Vance: Mine fewer.

Trump: Shhh, don't call me that yet.

 

Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for

He said 'Genius'

 

The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes

***************************************

The answer to this week”s question is B – Ok, so we’re back to the half and half scores. I got the first one wrong. I had no clue. I don’t remember all of the old Roman names. I knew that it was an important Roman city one of the Decapolis- the ten ciites that were famous for the Romans. But I forgot that it was called Scythpolis. Although if there would’ve been a multiple choice for this one it could be I would’ve gotten it, as I do recognize some of the other ones. On the other hand, Part 2 I did get correct, but only by process of elimination. I was never in Lod touring that I remember with tourists. But I did know where all of those other choices were. The Zodiac they have in lots of places including Tzippori. The binding of Yitzchak as well is in Tzippori and Beit Alfa and in most places. The b lessing of the Nile is a large Tzippori mosaic. So that left the shipping and sea thing, which made sense as Lod is a port. So I got that right and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz 2.5 Ministry of Tourism 1.5 on this exam so far.

Thursday, September 1, 2022

Goyish- Parshat Shoftim 2022/ 5782

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 2nd 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 47 6th of Elul 5782

 

Parshat Shoftim

Goyish

 

Why do you dress like that?” I asked them. I was in one of my end of summer modes where I’m just ready to pick fights with my tourists. Don’t get me wrong I love Chasidim. I have plenty of Chasidish blood in me and I come from very haymish roots, my grandfather being close to the Tosher Rebbe and Reb Hersheleh of Spink. I even wear a gartel on Shabbos-when I remember. But I wanted to make a point. An important point, that I think most people don’t get. Particularly American Chasidim and Chareidim.

 

 “So what is it?”, I asked them. “What’s with the Shtreiemel, the frock, the white socks? Why don’t you dress like everyone else?” By the way this is not only a question for chasidim. You gotta love these cool litvaks that think they dress normal and fancy, like they walked out of GQ, when the truth is that they pretty don’t really fit in as well. Some have the tzitzis sticking out, others have their black hats which they think look pretty cool especially when they wear them on a tilt. Nobody told them that hats went out in the 50’s already. So, they’re also wearing out of date clothing that make them stand out and that really is not trendy to anybody but their chevra in yeshiva.

 

 Now the honest answer to why they’re wearing this clothing is that ironically enough they think it looks cool, . They think that the shtreimel with the hairs standing up are really cool. The beketcheh with the funny little designs- that’s not mamash black but a little tinge off-black and it even has some cute little flower design on it if you look really hard.are "chikav".  Or how about that tiny rimmed small black hat that really was made for a Bar Mitzva boy that you’re wearing? C’mon, do you really think you look cool in it? That would be the honest answer to why you’re wearing them. It has nothing to do with tradition, with religion, or with Hashem. It’s just about the yeshivish or chasidish fashion statement of the time. But nobody will admit that.

 

 My tourists fumfeh a bit. Well... it’s about not dressing like the goyim. It’s about tradition. It’s about keeping the customs of our ancestors…they mumble. I don’t buy it, I tell them. I think it’s much much holier than that. From the way that I understand it, the reason why we dress differently and even in yeshivos why our Rabbis put such an emphasis on wearing your hat and jackets so much, is so that we remember that we are not them. We are not like the people in the street. We are Hashem’s holy nation. We are exiled here. This is not our home. We are foreigners. We want to remember that always, and it will help stop us from assimilating. From thinking we are just like them. From doing the things that they do and going the places they go. We don’t belong here, and we want to remind ourselves that we stand out like a sore thumb.

 

 My tourists nod their head in agreement. It makes sense. They’ve heard that before. They know it’s an important value. They’ve now fallen into my trap. Well, if that’s true, I continue, then perhaps you can explain to me why you feel more comfortable walking around on 5th Avenue in the Diamond district, or in your tenements and buildings in the Bronx or your nursing homes in who knows what hole in the country you found them in Mississippi or in Tennessee than you feel when you’re walking around here in Eretz Yisrael. Why do you come here and feel that you can’t wait to get back to “your” normal country where they bag your groceries and thank you for shopping in Walmart? Where they speak “your” language, where they understand and share "your" mentality. Where you feel like you’re at home even in your funny white socks. But here, the holy land, the land that all of your ancestors dreamed of coming to, the only place where your neshoma really has a connection to, the only place where any mitzva you do really has any meaning. Why over here do you feel like you don’t belong. That it’s not your country. That you’re a foreigner.

 

Now don’t give me any baloney, about non-religious Jews, or anti-religious governments, or about scary Arabs and fears of your kids going to the army. Please… They’re killing Jews all over the place in the US. The goyim there will continue and only escalate the rapidly growing antisemitism rate that’s increasing exponentially each year. You’re smart enough to know that America isn’t different than everywhere else we’ve lived in 2000 years of Galus. That “Never Again” is “always again’. You have an updated passport “just in case” or for when that day happens eventually. Agudas Yisrael lobbying and frum congressman and the OU and shmearing all the politicians isn’t going to make much of a difference, and neither is the pizza you brought to the local Fire Station or the money you gave to the Police Benevolent Society – which helps you get off of speeding tickets. They’re making the same “gezeiros” against education over there, and it’s the frum guys that aren’t letting your kids into the right schools anyways. It's not even the Goyim.  Yeah…You really shouldn’t be feeling at home there. You’re even wearing the funny clothing to remember that. Think about that next time you put on your shtreimel or Borsalino.

 

But the problem and perhaps the biggest problem we’ve always suffered from is that we forget how special and different we are. How much we are not like them. How pretty much the worst thing you once were able to call a Jew is a “goy”. You look like a “goy”. You dress like a “sheigitz”. I think the English for some reason call them a “yuk” or a “beitz”. I never really understood where that comes from. It’s not a modern-day problem. It’s always been our problem. The Yiddish phrase is “vi tzi kristaltzach-yiddletzach”- what goes on in the goyish world eventually permeates and makes its way into our world. In most cases we even out-do them. We become more Goyish, more Greek, more Roman, more Spanish, more German, more patriotic American Yankee Doodle with our BBQ’s and flags than they do. And unfortunately for us, Hashem has to always send us reminders, because the funny clothes doesn’t seem to workto remind us that we really don’t belong there. We really are not like them. We really need to come home.

 

 This week’s parsha repeatedly, perhaps more than any parsha, keeps hitting this theme home again and again. Right at the beginning of the Parsha we start off with the need to set up judges and enforcement officers that are different than them. There are no bribes, no showing favoritism, it’s not about who has the better lawyer or deeper pockets. It’s about pursuing real true righteous justice. Judges that are tzadikim, courts that have no political influences. This is the trick, Moshe tells us, to inheriting and uplifting the land.

 

Right next to that it tells us not to plant trees next to our Beis Hamikdash where the court sits and not to worship in the style of the goyim on a one stone altar. This is despite the fact that our forefathers did it that way interestingly enough… It was the mesorah… It was tradition. But guess what? It became goyish. And we Jews don’t do the goyish thing. In fact the Maharam Shick writes that we shouldn’t even plant trees near shul for that reason. We certainly don’t put flowers on a grave. Goyish is bad and we Jews have to stop looking and learning from them how to do things.

 

 It continues and continues this theme. Don’t bring sacrifices with blemishes even ones that are passing and that go away. Interestingly enough, the Talmud tells us that it was this precise law in the story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza that caused the destruction of the Temple when the Caesar sent an offering with that type of blemish and the Jews refused to bring it. For goyim blemishes are not a problem. Their sacrifices don’t have to be perfect. For us Jews that have a perfect God our sacrifices can be nothing but the best.

 

It then tells us about Jews that worship like the goyim do and how when they try to sell their politically correct ideology to us and get us to join them we need to kill them. We should have no tolerance for Jews that try to make us like goyim. It’s too dangerous. We’re too susceptible.

 

 Even when we try to set up our own “government” the Torah tells us be careful that what we do shouldn’t be like the goyim. Don’t look to them to have a king like theirs. Ours has to have a Torah with him all the time. He can’t be too rich. He can’t have too many horses. He can’t even have too many wives. We’re not looking for Henry the 8th. Even Shlomo Hamelech fell into the goyish trap of this one. The man had 1000 wives. If you make a cheshbon he was in sheva brachos every week of his life. Most of them were idolators. Stay away from goyim. Don’t become goyish. Even if you’re the smartest person in the world.

 

It keeps going and going. When we come to the land don’t fall into the trap of all of the narishkeit of the goyim. Don’t try to figure out the future. Don’t sacrifice your kids on the altar of whatever religious or politically correct mishigas their society is telling you is common place. Don’t pay any attention to any of their pundits or future tellers and yay or nay sayers about what will be, what has to be, what should be. Stop listening to the stupid radio talk show hosts. It’s all baloney. We have Hashem. We work with faith. We don’t need to know what will happen because we know that whatever will be is good. It’s from our Father. It’s not from whoever is elected. It’s not from the President. It’s not from my man in congress. It’s not from the United Nations. It’s not even from Bibi and certainly not Lapid but not even from the Chareidi or religious parties. Tamim tihiyeh im Hashem elokecha- stop being so busy with all the future things that might happen if you don’t listen to what they’re telling you to do.

 

 Goyim have prophets. We have them too. Or we used to at least. But we also have fake ones that are like goyim. So stay away from anything that sounds sketchy. That sounds goyish. Oh and kill the ones that you know are false. They’re a danger. Because in general they will play on our biggest weakness to try to make us like the goyim. To try to make us comfortable in the goyish ways we’ve picked up. They tell us that we’re good Jews still and Hashem is happy with us and doesn’t mind so much if we don’t follow His ways. If we ignore some of the important commandments, like idolatry, like Greek culture, like lashon hara and sinas chinam, like staying in Boro Park, Monsey and Lakewood and not moving to Eretz Yisrael. Chutz la’aretz is not so bad. It’s not so important to move to the land Hashem promised us and told us to live in… The koach ha’torah will protect us.  Uhh.. huh…Yeah.. that’s worked out really well for us in the past…

 

There’s an amazing mitzva that’s thrown in here of lo sasig gevul rayacha- don’t encroach on your neighbor’s field. Rashi notes that the Torah already told us that it’s prohibited to steal, what’s this additional mitzva? He says that this additional one of stealing your neighbors land is only applicable in Israel. If you build on your neighbor’s field in America or in Monsey, you won’t be violating this prohibition. (although it’s still stealing). Why? Because guess what? It’s not really your land. It’s the goys. It’s their country that you just happened to be stuck in. Don’t ever make the mistake that you really have any real property rights on it in this regard. They can and probably will throw you out pretty soon. Only in Eretz Yisrael, the land you were meant to inherit is the land sacredly yours. Only here does it really make a difference if someone moves his fence an inch or two onto the border of your lot. Because here every inch only you can uplift. Only your neshoma can bring down the shechina to. Over there it’s just a tenting campground until the next step in your galus. Until you make it home. Don’t ever forget that in your shtreimel and black hat.

 

I’m not going to continue. You should go on yourselves and read the rest of the parsha. Make sure to spend time reading about how we should wipe out all of the goyim in Eretz Yisrael and all of our enemies that don’t make peace with us. That don’t come over to our team. We are the light of the world. The world we are meant to create that will shine out the light of Hashem to needs to be built on the foundation that we have that light. They are meant to be taking tips from us on how to receive it. We approach the High Holidays in this month of Elul. On the first day of Rosh Hashana, Hashem will judge us. The judgement on us is what will impact the rest of the worlds on the 2nd day of Rosh Hashana. But this is the month to remember who we are and what rests on our shoulders. The clothing we wear may not be enough of a reminder. It’s time to get on the royal garments the nation of the King should be wearing. His coronation is right around the corner.          


Have a super duper Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz


************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Oifen goniff in a tsilinder brent nit dos hittel.” - A thief with connections is not self-conscious..

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey  -  In honor of Chodesh Elul please enjoy my Elul Song that we will be reciting and you can sing all month long lulay hemanti

 

https://youtu.be/_wGZ6jVYH5Q  – In Breslav brent a fire…by Reb Yoel Roth for those thinking about Uman this year…

 

https://youtu.be/hin_J0qUV9s   Chaim Moshe Rechnitz with Moshie Mendlowitz Lo Eshkocheich

 

https://youtu.be/dsV06dl-3vQ   Beautiful rendition of the Viznitz Odeh by Motti Shteimetz by Dirshu

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V32CTcCBVU     Very Excited for my good friend Dovid Lowy’s newest EP release with 5 amazing songs. Take a listen…

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

10)  Area E1 is found in the   _________  region

The Palestinian Authority’s objection to building in this area is because

A)  It breaks the continuity between North and South of their territory

B)  Fear of losing out on employment opportunities by the Dead Sea Hotel District

C)  They believe it is the holy burial site of a Muslim leader

D)  It interrupts the continuity of their territory between the area of Beit Lechem and Yericho

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Just Because- Parshat Shoftim There is probably no mitzva that is elaborated on in the Torah as much as Shabbos. There are myriads of laws, both positive and negative commandments. There are customs, rabbinic decrees. It’s all over the Torah. It is a day to remember Creation, it is a day to remember our Exodus from Sinai. Our foods recall the Manna in the wilderness, we remember the sacrifices in the Temple and pray for it once again. It is the sign and covenant and special bond between us and Hashem. As I said there is so much to every second and nuance of Shabbos, yet fascinatingly enough the Torah describes it as a Chok- a decree without a reason.

 

The Nesivos Shalom quotes the Rashba who notes that in this week’s Torah portion we are given the mitzva of Tamim Tihyeh Im Hashem elokecha- we should be pure and complete with Hashem. We serve and follow His mitzvos without question. Without explanation. Because He told us to. Sure, there are reasons and great idea behind everything and we are meant to find meaning in the mitzvos we do. But at the end of the day the reasons in Hebrew are called ta’amim- tastes of the actual thing. The essence of all of the mitzvos are really very far beyond us. Shabbos is the greatest example of that.

 

The Rav of Kobrin says that the Torah tells us that Shabbos is a sign between us and Hashem- l’olam- forever and for the world. But that is only the external aspect of it. It’s true essence is hidden in the Beit Genizai of Hashem. The hidden storehouses. We observe Shabbos primarily for one reason. Hashem told us to. We are tamim ito- we are pure and simple faithed with Him. We follow His will unquestionably, for He is the source of all life and that’s what He put us here to do. Observing Shabbos on that simple and purest way brings us the greatest blessing. It is what keeps us eternal. It is what reveals more than anything else Hashem’s presence in the world, in our nation and in the reluctance for Jews to ever abandon that god give role.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Aram Wars - 724 BC – Arabs talk big, but when push comes to shove, they don’t stand a chance against the Nation of Hashem. This is particularly true when Hashem is on our side and is out to show off some miracles. That’s when it really gets fun. This is true today, by the way and was true back then as well. Ben Hadad, the King of Aram made all of these threats against Israel and Achav and surrounded the city of Shomron. The prophet Michayahu Ben Yimla however assures Achav that he will win the battle miraculously with just the youth of the officers- the little untrained soldiers. Achav himself would lead them into battle. All of the rest could take it easy. The war would be a simple one. It would be a miracle.

 

Sure enough Achav takes 232 men and another 7000 soldiers to fight against Ben Hadad and the 32 other kings of Canaan that joined him for this battle. They numbered over 100,000. Ben Hadad was drinking and mocking demanding that his soldiers bring back the Jews and Achav alive. He wanted to humiliate us. He didn’t dream that he would be fleeing a few hours later. But in fact that’s exactly what happened. The Jews destroyed all of their army, their tanks (chariots) in an incredible win. Ben Hadad flees back to Syria but as the prophet Michayahu warns Achav- he will be back again. Sure enough they come back a second time.

 

The second battle takes place though in the plains by the city of Afeik. Afeik is a central location not far from Petach Tikva and Rosh Ha’ayin of today. There’s a national park there called Tel Afeik and it was a city that goes from the early caveman period where they found lots of remains, the Egyptian and Canaanite period where there was all types of writings and inscriptions found and it was even built up later in the Roman 2nd Temple period by Herod who named the city after his father Antipatrus. I really haven’t visited there much to be honest, but I do remember in my tour guiding course it was an impressive site. Although I don’t think you see much there., there were certainly many historic battles that took place there.

 

Ben Hadad assumed that Hashem’s power is only on mountains and hills like Har Sinai or the Temple Mount. Little did he know Hashem is here, Hashem is there, Hashem is truly everywhere. Once again, the Navi tells Achav he will be victorious and sure enough they are. Ben Hadad flees and decides to do the typical Arab thing. He figures he’ll appeal to the Jewish mercy and guilt us into good conditions. Jews are always uncomfortable with victory. We feel more at home with persecution and receiving our undue punishments. We have a hard time wrapping our brain around the idea that we really deserve to win. The land is really ours. It’s a mistake we make again and again and next week we’ll find out the consequences of this battle and victory.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE FASHION JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

A fat fashion designer found a time machine one day.Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button. He soon found himself in ancient Rome.

He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre. Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeeper if they can sell him XL shirts.

That question made the shopkeeper curious, thus he asked the designer:

“Do you really want to purchase that many shirts?”

(it took me twice to get that one…)

 

Did you hear about the fashion designer who was on the phone while driving and nearly got into an accident? It was a clothes call.

 

Why can't fashion designers play uno? Because they always draw a cardigan.

 

What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything? Calvin Deklein.

 

2020's fashion was really terrible. Probably because nobody had any taste

 

COVID is like fashion…

We started hearing about it in Italy…

Became popular in LA and NYC…

Florida ignored it…

And it was all made in China in the end.

 

How many trainers will it take to teach Tommy fashion design? None. Hilfiger it out..

 

Never talk to me about fashion. It just goes in one year and out the other.

 

My doctor really likes my choice of sensible footwear...I overheard him telling his colleague that I had "Serious healthy shoes".

 

Little old Yankel gets on a crowded city bus, every seat filled. A tough looking goy with a lot of prison tattoos is kicking his feet onto the seat opposite him, keeping it from being used. Yankel waddles over says 'scuze me' and pushes the tough bloke's legs off the seat.

Agitated, the tough bloke starts pointing to the prison tats on his face and says 'You know what these mean, little man?'

Yankel nods in a knowing fashion "means you got caught"

 

A guy goes into a bar wearing a shirt open at the collar, and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one.

He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, and manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over, and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in - just don't start anything."

 

I once met someone who refused to talk to people unless the conversation was about fashion.

He was very clothes minded.

 

My lawyer has such a good sense of fashion, he wins every court case

 

Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques.

 

Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned? Tailors old as time…OYY…

 

What do you call yoshka at a fashion show? A Cross Dresser…. YES!!

 

********************************

Answer is A - Yeah this one I definitely would’ve skipped and the truth is I really should be ashamed of myself. I should’ve known this. It’s important information. And I I do drive by there regularly. I guess I just didn’t pay attention or think too much about the formal name of this area and so I didn’t connect the two. I will from now on. So anyways, this area is right outside of Yerushalayim by Mevaseret Adumim and Maaley Adumim. This is where the fights are going on about the Bedouin building and construction and the Jewish settlement as well. It’s called E1 because it’s East of Jerusalem. The Israeli want this area which is over the green line to be part of Israel and to expand the settlements there to enlarge Jerusalem. The arabs on the other hand see this as being smack in middle of their territory of what would ever be an Palestinian State separating the Shomron in the North and the Midbar Yehuda region in the South. I got this one wrong. I randomly guessed Dead Sea area and then went with the Jericho Bethlehem thing.  So the score now is Schwartz 7.5 and 2.5  for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.