Song of Life- Parshat Chayei Sarah 2022 5783

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

November 18^th 2022 -Volume 12 Issue 5 24^th of Cheshvan 5783

 

Parshat Chayei Sarah

Song of Life

 

It’s a uniter song. You know, one of those songs that just gets everyone together humming, singing, dancing and many times even holding arms together and swinging back and forth. We have a bunch of those. There’s of course Hinei Ma Tov u’ma Naim in which the words themselves of brothers sitting together pleasantly just makes you want to wrap your arms around the person next to you and start swaying. There’s that Kol Ha’Olam Kulo Gesher Tzar Me’od when we all realize that we are all in the same boat walking down that narrow bridge, we all have trials, challenges and frightening things that stand before us. Yet at the same time, we have faith in Hashem and we have nothing really to fear. There’s Ani Ma’amin which fascinatingly enough even the most secular “non-believing” Jew gets teary eyed and can’t help himself but to long for that ultimate day when Mashiach will come. Not even a few decades of or even a generation or two of non-observance or even tragically ignorance of Judaism and the beauty of our heritage can still that always burning spark of the Neshoma and the tens of generations of faith that preceded this little gap in one’s awareness of the holiness of their Jewish soul that they don’t even know they possess. Two or three chords of the “Ahhhh Ni Ma’aameeeen… B’ehmuna Shlai’aimahhh” and boom! They’ve discovered their soul. By the time the song has gotten to the high part of Vi’af al pi… she’yismamehaya they are flying high. They are longing for their neshoma to be complete. They want Mashiach now…

 

Maybe that’s why I love music so much. The old classic songs at least. Because music speaks to our soul. It brings us together. All of the fights, the disagreements, the politics, the different Kipahs, dress, religious orientations, they all fall away when those uniter songs start to play. They trigger the soul in a way that makes us realize that we really all have one common hope and one shared destiny. We all come from that spark of Hashem and we all want to see that day when it will be revealed to the entire world and peace and love and brotherhood will reign. Before the song came I on, I may not have seen that guy sitting next to me as anyone that I have anything in common with or may even want to have anything to do with. Yet afterwards (or at least during the song) I realize that I can’t have a world without him.

 

One of those songs and perhaps the most famous and classic one is from the king of uniter song composers Shlomo Carlebach’s Am Yisrael Chai- Od Avinu Chai. Orthodox, Conservative, Right wing, Liberal, Reconstructionist, Chasidim. It doesn’t make a difference. When that song starts to play it just gets everyone to their feet. It has you cheering, waving your hands up and down and jumping up with each chorus. With each Am Yisrael. Higher and Higher. We are alive. Our Father is alive. It’s so popular, that it’s not yeshivish to sing it even. Yeshivish people can’t do what everyone else are doing. Yet, Im kol zeh… despite that… when the song comes on at some event or some ceremony or family simcha for their non-religious cousin (Yeah I know that yeshivish people pretend that they don’t have any of those…) They sing, they jump, and they are united by the one thing that they realize brings us all together. We’re alive and our Father in heaven is Alive.

 

You agree with me on this, I know. In fact, you’re humming the song now to yourself. Yet, if you think about it, it’s kind of strange. Who else in the world besides the Jewish people just sing about the fact that they’re alive? The words aren’t about love, about happy times, about faith, about victories and miracles, about even a better future or a nostalgic past. I’m alive. Zehu- that’s all. Goyim don’t sing songs like that. They don’t get excited about that. But Klal Yisrael- the eternal nation of Hashem? There’s nothing that gets us more inspired and enthused than those 6 words. Am Yisrael Chai, Od Avinu Chai. We exist. We’re eternal. We are children of an Eternal God and thus possess that same never-to-be extinguished life force that He implanted in us.

 

I saw an incredible insight this week from Harav Charlap in his sefer Mei Merom in which he finds in this week’s Torah portion of Chayei Sarah that this idea is more than just a song it is really the core and essence of our nation. Perhaps even ironically it first finds it’s place a parsha that talks about the death and burial of the first Jew or Jewess to be accurate, our matriarch Sarah in a parsha that is called Chayei Sarah- the life of Sarah.

 

He notes that it seems strange that Avraham waited until Sarah died until he bought a grave for her. I mean she was no spring chicken and the truth is Avraham being one of the wealthiest people of his time probably had plenty of land and place with which to bury her. Ok… So you’ll tell me that he wanted to bury her in the Cave of the Machpela. After-all that’s where it was revealed to him that Adam and Chava were buried. But that even strengthens the question. According to the Midrash Avraham found out about that cave years before hand when the angels came to tell Sarah about the impending birth of Yitzchak and he ran after a calf (or an angel that was disguised as a calf) into the cave and saw the burial place of Adam and Chava. So why didn’t he buy it back then? He was a good business man. He should’ve know that they would hit him up for more money and squeeze him when his deceased wife is lying before him. You always pay more at the last minute when you need something. It’s why you pay more at the only gas station on the empty long highway, why you pay more for your popcorn at the movie theater, or ice cream at the nature parks reserve or for your tour guide when you call him a few days before you come here 😊. Except for me, of course. I’m already booked… So Avraham was a smart man. Why didn’t he do some advance estate planning?

 

The answer he tells us is because Avraham thought that she would never die. That Sarah would be forever. That the curse of death that had been brought to the world since the sin of Adam and Chava who were buried there at the gateway to Gan Eden in Hevron, would finally be rectified. U’bala Ha’Maves La’netzach- that death would finally be swallowed up from the earth. How? Why? What do I mean? Put on your deep thinking caps now, we’re going to get heavy.

 

He explains as follows. Hashem created the world. He is eternal. Man, created in the image of Hashem with an eternal soul, as well possesses that eternality. Hashem wishes to reveal Himself to man, but the only way that can work is by tzimtzum- or minimalizing and hiding His vastness. Man can’t comprehend the infinite, above space, time and physicality. Yet Man possesses that same power and was created with the power to move beyond this world and bring that power of heaven down to earth. In fact we are charged to do that and deep inside our soul longs for that revalation we are meant to bring. In fact that is really the essence of Torah. See the written word that Hashem gave us is finite. It is limited. It is mi’tzumtzam. There’s no adding or subtracting. It’s perfect and it’s the DNA of the physical world. The oral law though is infinite. Every day it is expanded upon. Each Jew has another part that he is meant to reveal in it. It is our ultimate expression of the infinite and eternal nature of our soul revealing itself in this world. Are you with me so far?

 

Now Hashem had to make man finite and remember he’s not God, so what did Hashem do to differentiate him? And this is really cool- by the way… He made him go to sleep. Hashem doesn’t sleep. Eternal doesn’t stop for a second. It’s always. Man was going to be different and would sleep to remember that he was a creation and not a Creator. It’s what it means that the soul goes up to heaven each night when we sleep. It needs it’s daily reminder to remember that it’s different than Hashem. You know what the word for sleep is in Hebrew? Shaina- sleep also has the same root as the word Shina- or shoneh- different. That’s what sleep is all about. But it seems that wasn’t enough for us.

 

See, with the sin of the Tree of Knowledge when we were tempted by the snake to eat and “become like God” we lost that simple reminder. We needed something more impactful to remind us that we were not Gods, but rather mere possessors of divine souls that were given to us by Him to reveal Him in the world. So we became mortals. Death was introduced into the world. We were given an expiration date when our souls would depart from our bodies and we would no longer be alive. That’s not something we will ever forget and ignore. And that effected all of mankind…except, writes Rav Charlap the Jewish people on a national level. We are eternal.

 

According to the Kabbalists, when Adam and Chava sinned every part of their body and DNA was infected and needed to be rectified through this process. That process takes place on two levels. There is the national level and the individual level. Each nation that came out of them will be finite. Will  rise and fall and disappear. And each individual will as well live a life that comes to an end. It will only be in the end of days that there will be the resurrection of the dead- Techiyas Ha’Meisim. When we will return perfected and purified from that sin. That process and reality changed with Avraham and Sarah. They saw and understood that Hashem was in the world and they spent their lifetime revealing that. When they were promised a son, Yitzchak, Avraham was shown the burial place of Adam and Chava and according to the Zohar he told Adam that he would work to remove the curse and shame that Adam and Chava had that they had brought death to the world. It would be the time for the final tikkun.

 

Sarah worked her entire life to fix the sin of Chava. She found the spark in Hagar and hammered her to bring it out. She separated the kelipah of Yishmael sending him away and even getting him to repent in that process by recognizing that it is through Yitzchak that he and the world would reconnect with Hashem. (Fascinatingly enough- whereas Adam sins by listening to his wife- Avraham, who is skeptical of Sarah’s decision to send away Yishmael, is told by Hashem to listen to her. Sarah fixed Chava who Adam shouldn’t have listened to!). The pinnacle of Sarah’s life reaches it’s finality when she sees Yitzchak, that promised child, killed. The Satan shows her the scene of Avraham slaughtering him. Yet although we know that Avraham doesn’t kill Yitzchak, our sages tell us that Yitzchak’s soul left his body at that moment and he achieved Techiyas Ha’Meisim. He was reborn. Death was gone from the world. (It’s why the second bracha of Shemona Esrei Mechayeh Ha’Meisim corresponds to Yitzchak). When Sarah sees this her life’s work is complete. Chayei Sarah- the lifes of Sarah- the physical and spiritual had fulfilled their purpose. Whereas Chava- the mother of all life had brought death to the world Chayei Sarah had restored life to it. And thus she dies.

 

Yet Sarah had only restored the world to eternality on the national level. She was the mother of Yitzchak who would father a nation that would be eternal. That would never die or disappear. It’s why right after her death Avraham sends Eliezer to find a spouse for him. It was time for Klal Yisrael to come to the world and bring the entire world to Hashem. It’s why Yitzchak is never allowed to leave Eretz Yisrael. Because Eretz Yisrael, just as the Jewish people is always eternal. It is the Eretz Ha’Chayim. It’s where the revelation of Hashem will shine from. It’s through us that recall that Akeida and resurrection of Yitzchak each year on Rosh Hashana when we “King” Hashem, that the light of that eternal day will shine to the rest of the world and death even on an individual level will disappear and be swallowed up. Am Yisrael Chai will reveal Od Avinu Chai. Avraham was hoping that Sarah and he would fix that aspect of Creation as well, and he never bought that doubled cave which Adam and Chava were buried in. It was doubled because it signifies the duality of life and death. The temporary physical death and the eternal higher soul that will come back to life.

 

But ultimately Avraham didn’t complete the job. Yishmael still needed to be fixed, the children of Ketura needed to be sent away, Yitzchak produces and Esau who will bring death to the world and the children of Israel will be born outside of the land in the house of Lavan to raise the sparks over there and bring them back to the holy land. He writes fascinatingly enough, that Rachel who had the last of the tribes, Binyamin, and only one to be born in Israel, if she would’ve been laid to rest in the cave of the Machpela then the ultimate tikkun would’ve happened. But she was laid on the side of the road to await the day when her children would return from galus and bring Mashiach. Until the day when we achieved the job that has been waiting from the beginning of Creation, to once again bring the entire world-all brothers with a shared spark sheves yachad- from that narrow bridge of galus-singing ani ma’amin with entire complete faith to once again seeing the Avinu Chai in all of us.

 

That day is not far off. Hopefully it will even be today. We are blessed to see the resurrection of our people from the ashes of the holocaust. I am and my many tourists are astounded each day as we drive through Eretz Yisrael and see the land that seemed dead and desolate for so many years once again alive and singing the songs of Hashem and rebirth with its trees, farmland and people. Torah is flourishing as never before, as each day a new revelation, a new insight, a new Torah work is published and brings more and more light to the world. And our nation is coming home. Am Yisrael Chai! Od Avinu Chai… We just needed to be united together in this song and then the world together will live forever with the light of Hashem as we were meant to. 

Have a eternal Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 ************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Der miesteh leben iz besser fun shensten toit.” - The ugliest life is better than the nicest death..  

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/rivkah - Chayei Sarah’s not complete without my Rivkah Achoseinu song I composed for sister Rivky’s chasuna…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U84t9GeZ56w  – Ari Goldwag’s latest video Ani Yehudi!

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/avinu-malkeinu  – Composed in memory of my dear friend Aryeh Kupinsky and all of the Kedoshim who were martyred including those this past week in Israel’s most recent and horrifying terror attack. May Hashem avenge their blood…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbsK8-kptnw -  One of the greatest Jewish love and wedding songs from Shlomi Shabbat Bereishit Olam wih English lyrics… Love It!!

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

16)  The remains of a structure called the “Desert Kites” were found near the settlement of _________

According to most theorists its function was

A)  To show the border of an early Bronze Settlement

B)  A 17^th century gathering place for hunters to hunt partridges

C)  Deer hunting in the early bronze age

D)   An open-air mosque from the early Muslim period

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Achazia - 706 BC –  With the death of Achav his son Achazia takes the reigns of the Northern Kingdom of Israel. Achazia unlike his father Achav didn’t repent. He followed in the evil ways of his mother, Jezebel. Things came for a head with him when he tried to continue the relationship his father had with Yehoshafat the king of Yehudah in joint ship building venture from Etzion Gever to Ophir. There they would ship copper and bring gold from there. The endeavor never worked out though as the ships that they built all got destroyed and various storms. Yehoshafat saw that as a sign that he shouldn’t partner with the idolatrous king Achazia and so they broke up.

 

Etzion Gever according to most archeologists is by none other than the modern city of Eilat! Many tourists come to Israel and don’t appreciate that Eilat as well was part of Israel from the time of Solomon’s rule through the first Temple period. Well, there you go… Ophir, though we’re not really sure where it is. Some suggest it’s in Saudi Arabia others in North Africa. But regardless, it’s amazing to think that the port of Eilat today was as well used in the times of the Kings of Israel. So go visit this special city the next time you’re here.

 

Achazia’s reign doesn’t last long though after that. In fact it may not have even been a year. The King of Moab started to fight with them. In fact we even found records of that revolt in the Meisha manuscripts discovered in Jordan which of course is Moab. As well Achazia falls through a lattice roof the scripture tells us. It was a warning from Hashem to straighten up his act. Which he didn’t. not smart. What happens to him? Stay tuned next week.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S REALLY (NOT JEWISH) RESURRECTION JOKES OF THE WEEK

(It’s what happens when I tour Non- Jews during the week..sorry…)

 

Three Christians die together and end up in front of the gates of Heaven. The angel states to the three men "It is not widely known but in order to get into Heaven, you need to answer a simple question about religion." so, he turns to the first man and asks, "what is Easter?"

 

The man pauses and says, "Is that the holiday where we gather around the table with our families, and eat turkey and pie, and celebrate the pilgrims arriving in America?"

 

The angel scowls "No. That is Thanksgiving. It is not even a religious holiday." So, he turns to the second man and asks the same question.

 

The second man replies "I know this. That is the holiday we cut down a tree and decorate it. We give gifts to loved ones. And we go to church that day."

 

The angel shakes his head, "That is Christmas. It’s your religious holiday, but you missed the whole point of that day."

 

Dejected, the angel turns to the last man and asks the same question.

 

The last man pauses and says "Let's see if I remember this right. Easter is the holiday we celebrate the resurrection of Yoshka after his crucifixion by the Romans."

 

The angel looks impressed.

 

The man continues, "After his death, they took him down from the cross, wrapped him in a shroud, and put him in a cave, then rolled a rock in front of the entrance."

 

The angel turns to the other men and says, "You should have been more like this this man while you were alive."

 

And then the man chimes in, "And if he comes out in 3 days and sees his shadow there's going to be six more weeks of winter."

 

What’s the difference between Yoshka and a picture of Yoshka? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture of Yoshka.

 

The day after Stalin's death.the Soviet nation decided to get rid of him once and for all and bury him as far away as possible. They set up a special commission. The commission turned to the British government with the request that they make available a plot in a British cemetery.

“Well,” replies the British government, ”we do already have Karl Marx in England … Two such great masters in the one cemetery . . . That would be overdoing it a bit…”

So they tried the Germans. ”Well, we would bury him here,’ reply the Germans, ‘but Hitler is already buried here. Two such great tyrants in the one country …”

Suddenly there arrived a telegram from Tel Aviv: ”In view of the fact that Stalin did not block the creation of the state of Israel, we agree to bury him here.”

”No way,” said the members of the commission in sudden panic. ”No way. After all they had a resurrection there …’”

 

Why did Yoshka move to China after his resurrection? Because it was easter.

 

Yoshka and Moshe are sitting in a boat, in the middle of the Sea of Galilee. Moshe turns to Yoshka and says, “Check out what I can do!” He proceeds to stand up in the boat, strike his staff, and boom! The water parts and the boat is resting on the bottom! After holding the water back for a few seconds, he releases his hold on the water. “I bet you can’t do anything that beats that!” Moshe states triumphantly.

So Yoshka stands up and says “Well, I think I might have something.” He climbs on to the edge of the boat, takes a step, and falls straight into the water.

 

Moshe, laughing until tears were coming from his eyes, helps Yoshka back into the boat. “What the heck!” Yoshka says while sputtering and coughing up water. “The last time I did that, it worked fine and I walked straight across!”

 

Moshe, still laughing at the sight of Yoshka being soaked, says “Well last time you didn’t have those holes in your hands and feet!”

 

A little boy, as in church on Easter Sunday with his mother, when after all this talk of crucifixion and resurrection he started feeling sick. “Mom,” he inquired, “can we leave now?”

“No,” his mother replied, “the service isn’t over yet.”

“Well, I think I’m about to throw up.” the boy announced.

“Then go out of the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush,” said his mother.

After about 60 seconds, the boy returned to his pew, alongside his mother.

“Did you throw up?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” the boy answered, embarrassed.

“How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?” Doris demanded.

“I didn’t have to go out of the church. They have a box next to the front door that says, For the Sick.”

 

********************************

Answer is C -I’m pretty sure I got this one right. I just have one question about it. See, I know what Desert kites are. I remember them from tour guiding program of Eilat when we spent too much time there in the heat of the day. They are basically these long stone formations in the shape of a triangle or funnel. They were used by hunters to chase deer into them and hunt them. They date back to the early Bronze period which is Jews in Egypt Era and prior to that. So the 2^nd part of the question is certainly C. The question is though the question asked what Yishuv or settlement is it near and Eilat really isn’t a settlement. But I wrote Eilat and I believe that is the right answer as the word Yishuv could also mean town. So I’m counting it as right. And thus the score now is until now as of last week Schwartz 15 and 3  for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

 

Above Average- Nitzavim/Rosh Hashana 2015/5775

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 10^th 2015 -Volume 5, Issue 43 26^th Elul 5775

Parshat Nitzavim/ Rosh Hashana

Above Average

*Please don’t miss our special message at the end of this e-mail

How do you feel about being an average person? Having an average life. Going about doing average everyday things on an average amount of days of the year. You know what an average life is. Going to school, getting in some trouble, having good days and bad days, but nothing too good or too bad most of the time. Getting married, having an average amount of kids- some easy and some hard times with them. Sure every once in a while something extraordinary will happen to you, you’ll even do some amazing things, go to some amazing places, maybe even take some amazing tours with an amazing tour guide if you’re lucky. Average people have and do that type of stuff as well. On the other had average people all have crises at some point, undergo some significant losses perhaps even god forbid have some tragedies or a beset with incredible challenges. It’s the average thing to do. It all balances out though if you put them all together to one big average ordinary life. How does that sound to you? Not bad? Could be worse? A little boring, perhaps?

Let me phrase it a different way. We’re standing at your funeral, hopefully after 120 years-although the average mortality rate is 78.88 if you’re from the States (just two years more than Syria) and 81 if you’re from Israel, Monaco leads with an average of 89-. But that’s for Goyim J. So we’re standing there by your funeral and we’re deciding what to put on your gravestone. What should we say at your eulogy? How does this sound. Yankel, was pretty average. He even had an average name J. He lived a pretty unremarkable life. Pretty much did and lived like everybody else did. Sure he lived a little longer. But overall he was a pretty nice person, who did some really great things every so often and he has a pretty nice family he leaves behind. We’ll miss Yankel. At least those of us that knew him. You know the average people that he used to hang with and do average things with. What do you think about that ceremony? How about your gravestone that will say “Here lies Yankel an average Jew who lived an average life”? How does that make you feel?

Now the truth is if that ceremony and gravestone bother you. Don’t worry. By the average person most Rabbis, family members and other experienced eulogizers will make you sound like you were an extraordinary human being that changed the world in some remarkable way or another. And will speak about how the impact you made and the void that will be left upon your departure will forever be felt. The problem is that although everyone in the crowd might be buying it. If your life was truly average and unremarkable, then you might be feeling a little uncomfortable attending that funeral and hearing everyone go on and on, when you know it’s really not true. I mean in general your own funeral is never a fun thing to attend, but it particularly can’t be that enjoyable if they’re making you out to be someone that you aren’t.

Now how about the opposite. How do you feel about living a truly extraordinary life? How do you feel about being the person that truly changes the world in a really significant way? How do you feel about living absolutely each day not just averagely but remarkably? Can you even imagine yourself as being the person that doesn’t just have some good days and some bad days, but that hits every single ball that’s thrown at you out of the park? Out of the atmosphere? You’re the yeshiva guy that’s Torah is really holding up the world. Not just like in the Mashgiach in yeshiva mussar schmooze way. But really. You’re the father or mother that have inspired your children and watched them transform the world. You’re the guy that works- not just 9-5, but each day has inspired the people who work with you to become better human beings to see Hashem and the beauty of a His Torah values in all that you do and have begun to incorporate that lifestyle into their own. You are a daily role model for all of those that come in contact with you. People, kind of point you out to their friends when you walk down the street and say ‘Check him/her out, can you believe it?! He/She are like the most amazing person around.’ Not that you in any way are looking or need that kind of recognition, appreciation or accolades. Incredible people with truly meaningful incredible lives never do. But you are that amazing and incredible. You are truly an extraordinary person living an extraordinary life. How does that feel on you?

Why am I asking all of these questions? Can you guess? In another few days the King of all Kings, our Creator, our Father in Heaven, will be sitting in front of two Books. The Book of the Tzadikim/The Righteous and The Book of the Reshaim/the wicked. On Rosh Hashana Hashem will write each person into one book or the other. If you don’t make it into either, you enter a category called the Benonim-the middle ones…the average. But unfortunately-wait, delete that- fortunately you can only stay that way for a few days. By Yom Kippur, He makes a decision. His decision is based on your decision. He didn’t create us and certainly didn’t choose us to be average. He created each and every one of us and imparted us with His holy Neshoma/Soul, the spark of His holiness in order that we fulfill our ultimate purpose here. And it’s no small task. It’s not a task for the average guy or girl. The only way we can do it is if we really believe that we can do it. We are special. We have unique gifts each and every one of us that no one else in the world can accomplish. Average is for other people. Not for us.

No matter the year the Parsha that is always read before Rosh Hashana is Nitzavim. The portion begins

“You are standing today, all of you, your leaders, your tribes, your elders, your officers; each man of Israel. Your infants, your woman and the converts who is in the midst of your camp, from the wood chopper to the water carrier, for you to pass into the covenant of Hashem, your God and His oath that Hashem has forged with you today. In order to establish you today as a people to Him and that He be a God to you…. Not with you alone…but whoever is standing here to today before Hashem and with whoever is not here today”

These verses that we read, the words that Moshe tells us on the last day of His life are meant to be read as if it is today; a few days before Rosh Hashana when we are told, just as the verse tells us that we are passed before God, each and every one of us, like sheep under the staff of the shepherd. We are being entered into an oath. For those of you to have been privileged to see a swearing in ceremony of the new chayalim into the IDF, you can appreciate this. It is perhaps one of the most moving ceremonies, here in Israel. Each soldier receives a Tanach and recites this oath

"I swear and commit to maintain loyalty to the State of Israel, to her laws, and authorities. To take upon myself without conditions and without reservations the responsibilities of the IDF.
To obey all the commands and instructions given by the commanders and to dedicate all my strength and even to sacrifice my life for the defense of the homeland and the freedom of Israel."

The soldiers than all scream out together as one. Ani Nishba! I swear! The feeling of unity, determination and single-minded determination is palatable. Hatikva is played and tears flow. It is a an incredible taste of a team of young men and women who have spent the months and years training for this moment. The bulk of their training and boot camp really revolves around one thing, an officer once told me. The Israeli army is not a place for mediocrity. It’s a place for excellence. For extraordinary commitment, dedication and sacrifice. We can’t afford to have average soldiers in this neck of the woods. Each Israeli soldier knows how important he is and it is why the army understands that we must go to the end of the world to save or rescue one of our boys. It’s why the officers of the Israeli army are the last to leave the battle field because they understand that the smallest officer is just as significant as the greatest general. We are all extraordinary.

That’s what Hashem is looking for us to realize and say each year. Are we prepared to take the oath above and replace the words State of Israel with the words Hashem the King of All Kings who we will maintain our loyalty to? Do we commit to take without conditions and reservations the responsibilities of what it meant to be a nation of Priests? Can we commit to heeding all of the commandments and instructions that our loving Father gave to us in His holy Torah that are only there to make us the most remarkable that we can be? Will we be able to love Hashem, as we recite in Shema twice each day, with all of our hearts, our resources and even it means sacrificing our lives? If you are ready to scream “Ani Nishba” with all of your mind and with tears flowing down your eyes, tears of joy at how special we are, how special you are, than you are not ordinary or average. Than you will not have to wait until Yom Kippur to be inscribed into the right Book. There is no Book for average people, because we weren’t created to be average. Hashem needs the best and we deserve to become that best.

Rosh Hashana is the time when we stand most of the day in shul and pray. Although it is the day that Hashem will decide the books that we will be written in. The book of life, of health, of merits, redemption, salvation, forgiveness, livelihood. We all have personal requests, needs and desires, for the many that need their soulmate, for those that are trying to have children, people who have undergone challenges. There is no shortage of things that we have to pray and beseech the Almighty for. But that it is not what the bulk of our prayers are about. Maybe average people would only pray for their small little world. An extraordinary nation, those that wish to be counted amongst the Tzadikim, to be inscribed in that special Book, pray primarily that we are successful in accomplishing our mission of becoming the nation that transforms the world. The righteous pray for us to be worthy for the task in front of us. We pray that we can inspire the entire world as we say in our prayers

“V’Al Kein Nikaveh Lecha”- and therefore we beseech you Hashem our God to see readily in the splendor of Your might..to establish the world with the Kingship of Sha-dai and all flesh will kneel and bow before You…all will recogniza and acknowledge all the worlds inhabitants that to you every knee should bend and every tongue shall swear”

Ani Nishba- the whole world will take that oath. We are here to make it happen. V’Ameich Kulam Tzadikim- Your entire nation is righteous. We are all Tzadikim. May this be the year that starts with us recognizing it and that ends with us celebrating that final day, we have been waiting for.

Have an extraordinary Shabbos and may we all be blessed with a sweet magnificent New Year,

Shana Tova,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 ***************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S VIDEO OF THEWEEK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKz_Y4UPPZ0 –I’m in love with this song so moving  and so touching Da’ay.. I also love to hear Rivi Shwebels voice.

https://youtu.be/tC8qf-qs9H0   – just beautiful Shaka Chama song and story behind song with prayers for a bright new year

https://youtu.be/K_kW_h32PA0- An absolutely amazing story and message The waiter, the service and the prayer! Cool!

https://youtu.be/afttkaVb_eo   - One of the most moving parts of the High Holiday Davening is these words when the Chazan asks Hashem to give him the right words to praise Him and pray to him. This song captures it- Ochila La’El

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

While in the states I picked up a great book with yiidsh quotes and wisdom and I have always wanted to teach my kids Yiddish so here we go each week another great proverb in yiddish maybe you guys will learn it too!!

“Goldene keylim vern ka mol nit shvarts.”-  Golden dishes will never turn black

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FAVORITE QUOTES  OF THE WEEK

.“ Od Tireh Od Tireh, Kama Tov Yihiyeh Bashana Habaa- We will still see we will still see how good it will be the coming year”  Nurit Hirsch- great old Jewish song

“I'm the greatest thing that ever lived! I'm the king of the world! I'm a bad man. I'm the prettiest thing that ever lived.”-Muhammad Ali

 “In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king.”-Chris Farley

 “Ah, if I were not king, I should lose my temper.”- Louis the XIV

And finally the only one that got it right

“You had better have one King than five hundred.”-Charles II

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

(New exam this week these questions are from the most recent tour guide exam-let’s see how I do)

answer below at end of Email

Jewish Settlement Before the “First Aliya” was in

A.    Ruchama, Bene Yehuda

B.     Gai Uni, and Motza

C.     Petach Tikva and Sharona

D.    Yemin Moshe and Neve Tzedek

.RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL MIDRASH OF THE WEEK

Rosh Hashana is the day that Avraham was commanded to bring his son, Yitzhak up to the altar and offer him to Hashem. We read the portion on RH and one of the reasons why we blow the Shofar on Rosh Hashana is to remember that rather than sacrificing his son to Hashem, Hashem told Avraham that he didn’t have to and Avraham brought a ram who was caught in the bushes by its horns instead. This is the fascinating Midrash on that story.

Hashem saw that the children of Yitzchak will eventually sin and said I will judge them on that very day Rosh Hashana and if you will want me to find a merit for them and remember the binding of Yitzchak. They should blow the shofar of this ram.

That entire day Avraham saw the ram running from bush to bush and getting ensnared in trees, fields and bushes, from one to the other getting stuck and then getting free. Hashem said to him, So wil be your children they will get entangled in their sins and under the kingdoms of Babylonia, Medea, Greece and Edom. Avraham said ‘Will it be this way forever?’ Hashem responded “ They will eventually be redeemed with the horns of this ram. As it says “And it will be on that day, the great Shofar will blast out and the those that have been lost from the land Ashur and those that have been pushed away from the land of Egypt and they will bow before Hashem on the holy mountain in Jerusalem”.

It started up there on that mountain, where the Akeida, binding of Yitzchak took place and ultimately it is there once again that we will return with that shofar blast. May it be this year.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL THINGS TO DO IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK-

That Yonah doesn’t think I can come up with each week…

Swearing in Ceremony for soldiers – Usually done at the Kotel, these ceremonies are an incredibly inspiring site to witness. Young 19-20 year old boys becoming men. Men who proudly declare that they would readily give their lives for another, men that would travel to the ends of the world to protect any Jew in need. Men that are committed to being part of the most ethical and moral army on the planet earth, despite the daily challenges and provocation that would challenge the best of us to fall to the level of the animals that seek to prey on our innocent civilians. Dressed in their green military uniforms these young men stand tall and proud knowing more likely than not they will all see”action” More likely than not they regardless of what they do and how much they go out of their way to treat our enemies with respect, they will ultimately be condemned. More likely than not they will have a comrade and brother that might be injured or god forbid worse. And yet they march together as one. They lift their heads up high for the Jewish people and they feel proud and feel it is their honor, duty and privilege to be able to bear arms for the defense of our nations. The family members that look from the crowds at these young men, their children, their brothers and their sisters, their friends wipe tears from their eyes and offer their prayers to our Father in Heaven to watch over and protect these defenders of Israel. These Kedoshim. You will as well, when you come to one of these inspiring ceremonies. Of that Ani Nishba.

****************** 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ONLY JOKES FOR JEWS OF THE WEEK

Brisket is not the same as Corned Beef!

If you are not Jewish, I cannot even begin to explain it to you.

This goes back 2 generations, 3 if you are over 50. It also explains why many Jewish men died in their early 60′s with a non-functional cardiovascular system and looked like today’s men at 89.

Before we start, there are some variations in ingredients because of the various types of Jewish taste (Polack, Litvack, Deutch and Gallicianer). Sephardic is for another time.

Just as we Jews have six seasons of the year (winter, spring, summer, autumn, the slack season, and the busy season), we all focus on a main ingredient which, unfortunately and undeservedly, has disappeared from our diet. I’m talking, of course, about SCHMALTZ (chicken fat).

SCHMALTZ has, for centuries, been the prime ingredient in almost every Jewish dish, and I feel it’s time to revive it to its rightful place in our homes. (I have plans to distribute it in a green glass Gucci bottle with a label clearly saying: “low fat, no cholesterol, Newman’s Choice, extra virgin SCHMALTZ.” (It can’t miss!) Then there are grebenes – pieces of chicken skin, deep fried in SCHMALTZ, onions and salt until crispy brown (Jewish bacon). This makes a great appetizer for the next cardiologist’s convention.

There’s also a nice chicken fricassee (stew) using the heart, gorgle (neck) pipick (gizzard – a great delicacy, given to the favorite child), a fleegle (wing) or two, some ayelech (little premature eggs) and other various chicken innards, in a broth of SCHMALTZ, water, paprika, etc. We also have knishes (filled dough) and the eternal question, “Will that be liver, beef or potatoes, or all three?”

Other time-tested favorites are kishkeh, and its poor cousin, helzel (chicken or goose neck). Kishkeh is the gut of the cow, bought by the foot at the Kosher butcher. It is turned inside out, scalded and scraped. One end is sewn up and a mixture of flour, SCHMALTZ, onions, eggs, salt, pepper, etc., is spooned into the open end and squished down until it is full. The other end is sewn and the whole thing is boiled. Often, after boiling, it is browned in the oven so the skin becomes crispy. Yummy!

My personal all-time favorite is watching my Zaida (grandpa) munch on boiled chicken feet.

For our next course we always had chicken soup with pieces of yellow-white, rubbery chicken skin floating in a greasy sea of lokshen (noodles), farfel (broken bits of matzah), tzibbeles (onions), mondlech (soup nuts), kneidlach (dumplings), kasha (groats), kliskelech and marech (marrow bones) . The main course, as I recall, was either boiled chicken, flanken, kackletten, hockfleish (chopped meat), and sometimes rib steaks, which were served either well done, burned or cremated. Occasionally we had barbecued liver done to a burned and hardened perfection in our own coal furnace.

Growing up Jewish

If you are Jewish, and grew up in city with a large Jewish population, the following will invoke heartfelt memories.

The Yiddish word for today is PULKES (PUHL-kees). Translation: THIGHS.
Please note: this word has been traced back to the language of one of the original Tribes of Israel, the Cellulites.

The only good advice that your Jewish mother gave you was: “Go! You might meet somebody!”

You grew up thinking it was normal for someone to shout “Are you okay?” through the bathroom door when you were in there longer than 3 minutes.

Your family dog responded to commands in Yiddish.

Every Saturday morning your father went to the neighbourhood deli (called an “appetitizing store”) for whitefish salad, whitefish “chubs”, lox (nova if you were rich!), herring, corned beef, roast beef, cole slaw, potato salad, a 1/2-dozen huge barrel pickles which you reached into the brine for, a dozen assorted bagels, cream cheese and rye bread (sliced while he waited). All of which would be strictly off-limits until Sunday morning.

Every Sunday afternoon was spent visiting your grandparents and/or other relatives.

You experienced the phenomenon of 50 people fitting into a 10-foot-wide dining room hitting each other with plastic plates trying to get to a deli tray.

You had at least one female relative who penciled on eyebrows which were always asymmetrical.
You thought pasta was stuff used exclusively for Kugel and kasha with bowties.

You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.

You were as tall as your grandfather by age seven and a half.

You never knew anyone whose last name didn’t end in one of 5 standard suffixes (berg, baum, man, stein and witz).

You were surprised to discover that wine doesn’t always taste like cranberry sauce.

You can look at gefilte fish and not turn green.

When your mother smacked you really hard, she continued to make you feel bad for hurting her hand.

You can understand Yiddish but you can’t speak it.

You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in context, yet you don’t know exactly what they mean. Kaynahurra.

You have at least one ancestor who is somehow related to your spouse’s ancestor.

You thought speaking loud was normal.

You think eating half a jar of dill pickles is a wholesome snack.

Your mother or grandmother took personal pride when a Jew was noted for some accomplishment (showbiz, medicine, politics, etc.) and was ashamed and embarrassed when a Jew was accused of a crime as if they were relatives.

And finally, you knew that Sunday night and the night after any Jewish holiday was designated for Chinese food.
Zei gezunt!!

****************

Answer is B-This is also a not very easy question at all. Before the “First Aliyah”-which began in 1882 and mostly consisted of religious families fleeing persecution from Eastern Europe. Jews until that time pretty much lived in the four holy cities-(Tourists of mine that are reading this name them now please…) Jerusalem, Chevron, Tzfat and Tiverya. There were some settlements that started out of these cities before the Aliyah came the question is which. So process of elimination. Petach Tikva was founded before but Sarona wasn’t Jewish it was German Templers. So X that one. Ruchama in the South and Bene Yehuda in the Golan were both the first Jewish settlements in those regions but they were both founded after and during the Aliyah Rishona and Sheniya. Yemin Moshe and Neve Tzedek which were Jews moving out of the old cities of Jerusalem and Yaffo were also started in the Aliyah Rishona. Which leaves Gai Oni and Motza both which were purchased before the Old Yishuv and even settled but the truth is they were both abandoned and only resetteled after the Aliyah Rishona Gai Oni becoming Rosh Pina of course and Motza becoming a settlement rather than just a stop off point on the way to Jerusalem that it was. Incidentally Motza is mentioned in the Talmud as the place people would get their Aravot from to use on Sukkot in the Temple and walk around the Mizbayach altar with them, which our custom of circling the Bima on Hoshana Rabba comes from.

******