Madly in Love- Parshat Nitzavim Vayeilech 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 4^th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 45 22^nd of Elul 5785

 

Parshat Nitzavim/Vayeilech

Madly in Love

Click here below for print edition

(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Nitzavim Va'yeilich 2026  )

 

So there's an important thing to know when one comes on a Rabbi Schwartz tour day. An important benefit that you may not get on other tours. It's actually one of the best parts of the tour to experience, and there's a lot of competition for that title. But unquestionably-at least in my mind- and for me, the best part is when my tourists realize that something that I've known for a very long time. That Hashem is madly in love with me. And as a result of that bountiful love He loves my tourists as well and makes sure that our day always works out amazing and more often than not miraculous.

 

I mean, who else does Hashem provide regular parking spaces for in Tzfat? Every few days the city there is trying to take away more and more of the limited spots, just to stifle me. But yet, whenever I pull in inevitably, there's someone pulling out, and from the closest spot that I need. There's no way in the world that any tour guide can pack in as much as I want to and try to pack into a day, if Hashem wasn't miraculously somehow easing up traffic whenever I needed to get anywhere. Although He does like to keep me on shpilkes so that I get there, always there… wherever that is… 5 minutes before they close the door. He gets a kick out of playing me like that. It's what lovers do to one another.

 

Somehow as well, He makes sure that I always manage to bump into someone cool that my people wanted to meet to make the day even more amazing. He brings me to the art or jewelry store that has just the piece my people are looking for, to bring back with them to the States. He inspires me with great songs to play for their entertainment. He just always gives me amazing people to tour with. I've been doing this for almost 15 years now and maybe once or twice out of the hundreds if not thousands of tours I've done have I ever had any duds. Any bad days. Any tours that I didn't just pull over at the end after I dropped them off, and just scratch my head in awe at what an awesome amazing day we just had- and I didn't even plan half of it…

 

Now one might think it's a bit jinxy, or pooh-pooh-pooh, ayin-harah-ish, knock-on-wood, to say this kind of stuff. It's like just asking for it to change. But I'm not scared. He loves me too much. He loves my tours. He can't get enough of them. He even puts the words in my mouth. I don't even know where they came from. It's kind of like these E-Mails that I have no idea how I put out every week. He just sends words down the love hatch and poof you've got something interesting to read during your Rabbis sermon, or at your Shabbos table… the bathroom?

 

But it's not just my work, my writings, my parnassa and my health. It's my wife, my children, my grandchildren, my parents, my upbringing, my teachers (once I finally found them- or at least when He sent them to me). It's my house and really all my houses wherever I lived. It's the fact that somehow, He even got me to live in His country. In the most amazing place on the planet earth. He did that because He likes to look at me. It was a pain for Him to keep trying to find me in some other hole in the States. So He brought me here to where He's anyways watching all the time. He's got me in front of His computer screen always over here, right next to the screen with His land on it. It's pretty much everything that I have and experience in life. It's crazy how insanely in love He must be with me. Especially after the so little I do for him. Or perhaps even more shockingly that I do that must pain Him and hurt Him every day. I guess He's kind of like my mother in that way. They probably will have a lot to commiserate about after 120 years…

 

Now, if you think this is kind of narcissistic of me. That it sounds strange. It sounds bizarre. I always get that feeling from my tourists when I share with them this little secret of mine, as they eyeball one another in my rear-view mirror. Then I'm kind of curious what prayer book you daven out of each morning and evening. I mean do you leave out the part about Ahavah rabba ahavtanu, or ahavas olam- about the incredible tremendous love that Hashem has for us. For me. For you. Do you not say when you wake up about the chemla gedola- not small but great mercy which He has in returning our souls. Did you skip the part about how every moment that my soul is inside me how grateful we are to Him. How bout Shemona Esrei- in modim where we literally appreciate and thank the miracles each day, the signs, the kisses He gives us. Why are you looking at me like I'm the crazy one….?

 

OK, I'll admit He probably doesn't love you as much as He loves me. So you may not realize it as much as I do. I'll give you that. After-all you're not a tour guide in His country that's privileged with telling people how great His house and how they all need to move here. You're in real estate in Lakewood and have a nursing home in Tennessee and are taking care of Medicare old black people which is very important as well, but just not the same. But yet, even if you don't always feel that like I do, its about time to do something about that. It's Elul. The King is in the field. Ani L'Dodi V'dodi Li- time boys and girls. Start feeling the love.

 

You know it's funny-or maybe sad. But I don't think when I say the word Elul to most frum Jews that went through the traditional yeshiva system that evokes a sense of love. Fear- yes. Awe-possibly. Impending doom-obviously it just depends on what yeshiva you went to and how creative your mashgiach was as to the extent of the death, destruction and fires of hell that would rain down on you as you're written in the "bad book" where people like you who talk lashon hara and speak during davening and have evil thoughts most of the day are all written. Love? That's for Tu B'Av, frolicking in the fields with the maidens. It's not a real holiday. Just a nice tour guiding story to talk about in Shilo. Jewish holidays aren't about love. They're about saving us from death. About giving us commandments and dancing with them. About sitting in booths. And saving us from death miraculously again and again because we know Hashem really wants to kill us.

 

Yet, for some reason, our rabbis seemed to see something different in this month that's mean to be the preparation for the Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. They saw in it love. They saw in it that the main thing that we need to focus on is actually the opposite of what most of us have been taught or absorbed. We're meant to in this whole entire month think about one thing. About how Hashem is madly and obsessively in love with us and we are with Him. I am to my beloved my beloved is to me. That's the path to teshuva. That's the Book of Life. That's Mashiach. That's all He really wants from us.

 

The parsha that we read every year before Rosh Hashana Nitzavim actually tells us this. Hashem didn't want to count on our Rabbis teaching us it, He put it into our Torah reading this week. He also arranged it to be the shortest parshiyos of the year, so there's really no time to space out or chap a schmooze during Torah reading. You just gotta make sure to make it there on time. But hey, if you can't make it on time for the last reading of the year, then there's a problem.

So after all the blessings and curses of last week Hashem tells us tachlis what it's all about. It's kind of like when you go on all of those rides and they give you the long warning before hand or when you download an app or before you go into surgery for a procedure. You skip to the bottom and press click. What's the bottom line? That's what this week's parsha is all about. And here it is…

 

Devarim (30:1-6) And it will be when all of these things- the blessing and the curse which I gave before you come upon you and you will turn it to your heart amongst all of the nations which I have banished you. And you will return to Hashem your God and listen to His voice according to all that I am commanding you this day you and your children.

 

Tachlis- we're gonna get curses, we're gonna get blessings. And ultimately Hashem will bring us home.

 

then, the Lord, your God, will bring back your exiles, and He will have mercy upon you….

 

He's gonna bring us to the land and we will inherit it and be even greater than our forefathers.

 Which is fascinating. Because here we seem to see that the word teshuva that is used repeatedly and I believe translated almost always as repentance- certainly in our yeshiva world is actually used for something else much more basic. Teshuva actually means returning to the land. Returning to Eretz Yisrael. If you want to do teshuva- it means coming home. It doesn't mean banging on your chest. It doesn't even mean saying your sorry. It means actually physically coming home. Someone that doesn't come home really can't be said to have done teshuva. He hasn't returned. He's still there.

 

What's even more amazing is that it seems that the return to Eretz Yisrael is actually the perquisite to doing teshuva, because the Torah only then tells us that after we return and inherit the land and we have goodness and are great. Only then…

 

U'mol Hashem Elokecha Es Levavcha V'es Li'vav zarecha- Hashem will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants

 

And those underlined words of Es Levavcha and V'es Livav are of course an acronym for Elul.

 

But what will he circumcise our hearts to do? How do we live? What's the bottom line?

 

L'ahava es Hashem elokecha bichol livavcha u'bchol nafshecha l'maan chayecha- to love Hashem your god with all your heart and all your soul in order that you shall live.

 

The purpose of it all is to feel the love. To understand that Hashem is madly in love with us. To feel that love back for Him. If we get there and appreciate that and feel it in our hearts and souls, then we're living. We're alive. We're in the Book of life. There's no curse. There's only blessing. We're on cloud nine. We're basking like a chasan and kallah as they're hanging out together in the field. We're that astrological sign of Elul which is besula- a never married young seminary girl whose entire existence is about finding and being one with her bashert. That's us and Hashem. That's Elul.

 

If we have Elul, if we have our whole heart and soul filled with that love, then there's no real day of judgement coming up next week. It’s a day of accounting. It's a day of counting all the blessings. It's a day of return. It's a day of when we sign the ketuva. It's when we start again a whole new world. It's creation all over. It's the start of a new life; a new life with my beloved. The one that is madly in love with me.

 

But how do we get there? Well obviously the first way is to come on a tour with me, its good for ones shalom bayis with Hashem to hang out with other people that are madly in love with Him and have that love back. But let's say you can't make it here. You can't afford me. I'm booked up already. Then what? Well I'm not going to leave you hanging. There's a secret here in the verse Hashem tells us in that pasuk above that is an acronym for this month. It's called circumcision of the heart and it's an incredible idea.

 

See whereas in other places Hashem describes this heart bris as removing the orla- the foreskin or blockage of the heart, here Hashem tells us something different. He says He will circumcise the actual heart. Orlas ha'lev- the blockages of the heart is all the stuff that we accumulated. It's all the cholesterol. It's the fat. It's the buildup and plaque that our distance from Him prevents us from experiencing all of the love and good that He feels and does for us. It's the baggage we've accumulated. It's being in galus too long. It's forgetting and not hearing or feeling that loving life force that is pumping in our veins urging and calling us to come home. It happens in marriage too. We get so caught up in "life" we forget the love that is the foundation of it all. That's the foreskin we have to remove. We need to remove it between ourselves, our fellow brothers and sisters, our children, our neighbors and of course from Hashem.

 

Circumcisions are painful. Not that I remember… but every guy gets that twinge of ouch just watching it. Circumcisions of the heart foreskin are even more so. Its cutting deep into ones soul. It's searching. It's reflecting. It's getting rid and extricating all that build up. It's cleaning up the clog. And frankly it's not an enjoyable process, that anyone normal would want to do without any anesthesia. It's why we Ashkenazim push off selichos until the last week and usually teshuva until nei'la. It's why we avoid going to doctors to hear about that hard tedious painful work and all the things we can't enjoy anymore.

 

The circumcision of the heart itself though is telling us that there is no real foreskin left. There really wasn’t any even there in the first place. See our DNA is pure heart and love. We are inherently connected. Our blood types are the same. Our organs are exchangeable. It's all good. We just need to shock it for a minute and boom it comes to life. That beep beep sign on the heart monitor screen just pops back on, Hashem never stopped loving us for a minute and that love is still pounding us out. We just need to prick the heart-kind of like someone that is already circumcised that converts, what is called a hatafat dam bris- and boom we're good. We're new. That's not painful at all. That's what Hashem is telling us He will do to us in Elul. We just need to step into the surgery room. We need to come home to Him.

 

The Lubavitcher Rebbe notes how that's why the acronym for Elul isn't just es levavcha- but it's es levav- not only our hearts but also the hearts of… See because it's not just our heart that's inherently connected and doesn't need cleaning just rebooting, it's the hearts of our descendants as well. Because it's in our DNA. It's not just our children which is a result of our actions and relationships and education. It's all our descendants. It's our inherent nature. It's for all time. He's madly in love with each of us and we are connected to Him so deeply and innately.

 

The end of the second parsha we read this week of Vayeilech tells us something fantastic, in Hashem's last conversation with Moshe. Something mind-blowing that we might miss. Hashem calls in Moshe and Yehoshua and tells them that He knows that when we come into the land we will sin, we will worship false gods, we will lose our faith. We will think we're dead inside and Hashem is not in us. He doesn't love us. It's gonna happen. Hashem is telling them that He knows it will happen. Just like every parent knows that their child is going to misbehave at some time or another. They will mess up. They will disappoint us. Our spouses will as well. He's telling them this in advance, so that we will know, that He's ready for this. He's even expecting this. And guess what it won't practically change a thing about the way that He feels for us. The love that He has for us. We will always have a place at His table. Our hearts are always pure and full of love for Him.

 

Hashem tells us He knows this. He knows our yetzer hara's. He knows that we will sin. We can't possibly disappoint Him, because disappointment is only when we don't live up to His expectations and He's telling us that He knows we will sin. But even with that He still loves us. He just wants us to remember that. So he gives us a song. He tells us to sing it. It's a love song of all times. It's ours and it's His. And that brings us all back. That returns us home to His table. To the Home we will build together. The home that starts at the beginning of the new year.

 

The Baal Haturim notes on the words es levavcha v'es- that the gematria is 862 which is the same gematria as zeh l'yimos ha'mashiach- this will happen in the times of Mashiach. Its interesting that the gematria is from the words our hearts and… the three dots mean it's endless. It doesn't even end with our children. It's like that song from Titanic it will be on and on and on and on… That's the year we are entering. This is the days of Mashiach.  So can you feel the love tonight? Is He madly in love with you as well?

 

Have a lovely Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Drei zachen ken men nit bahalten: libeh, hisen un dales.. - Three things cannot be hidden: love, coughing and poverty.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

14. On Shabbat, after reading the weekly Torah portion, it is customary to read a passage from the Bible called _____________

According to tradition, which of the matriarchs is not buried in the Cave of the Patriarchs?

 A. Rachel

 B. Leah

 C. Sarah

D. Rivkah

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/haneshama-lach – In honor of Selichos one of my most magnificent compositions. Pure Hartz Dovid Lowy arrangements and Vocals!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ponecha-your-face – I composed this the Elul before the war. It's a gorgeous song that we recite in our daily additional L'Dovid Psalm that Hashem shouldn't hide his face from us. Dovid Lowy knocks it out of the park with vocals and heartfelt arrangements.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNd7u0CF5bs&list=RDxNd7u0CF5bs&start_radio=1 – Dovid Lowy Unplugged Ani Le'Dodi…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFeE8Jr4d-M&list=RDuFeE8Jr4d-M&start_radio=1&pp=oAcB    – MBD's latest high Holiday release- u'vtuvcha ha'gadol

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQoPqqQCYQ8&list=RDUQoPqqQCYQ8&start_radio=1  –Moshcheini from Karduner!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euWFyNhq0-k&list=RDeuWFyNhq0-k&start_radio=1  – Akiva- Tefilla v'Tza'akot…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The First Rosh Hashana -333 BC – That's it. The Temple is built. It was finished on the week before Rosh Hashana. It's like the creation of the world. It's almost incomprehensible to imagine how after 70 years of Galus we came back, just as the prophets said we would. Most of the Jews as we noted didn't. The ones that were there were sinners, were intermarried, had begun the process of teshuva. It was a big holiday. One that reveals to us the essence of Rosh Hashana. One that is seemingly different then the we have these days.

 

On that first Rosh Hashana we all gathered in the Bais Hamikdash there after bringing the sacrifices Ezra got up and read from the Torah scroll. He read the blessings and the curses. He read this week's Torah portion. He read about how we would be exiled. How we would sin. How Hashem hid himself from us. How the goyim would try to wipe us out. Can you imagine this Torah reading. This is not long after the miracles of Purim. The World Wars between Iran and Iraq. Our miraculous return. It all came true. They saw the Torah like they never did. They saw that all they had been experiencing had been written. They were the generation of redemption. Hashem is one. His name is one. They heard that name from the mouth of the Kohein and they all fell down and bowed. It was overwhelming. And then they started to cry and mourn. They looked at their sins. At their non-Jewish wives. At the idolatry and the ways they had fallen. They were broken. They were doing what they thought was teshuva. But they were wrong.

 

Nechemia gets up and tells them all to rise. Go home. Eat. Feast. Sing. Dance. Eat fatty foods. Meat boards. Drink wine. It's a holiday today. Hashem is back with His children. It's a celebration. That's what Rosh Hashana is meant to look like. You guys are missing the boat. Hashem doesn't want your tears. He wants your joy. Your Simcha. That's how the new year start. That's how the temple is started.

 

This Rosh Hashana we are longing for that day of Simcha once again. Return us Hashem and we will return to you.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE LOVE JOKES OF THE WEEK

Rabbi Applebaum thought it would be a great idea to hold a marriage seminar at his congregation and sure enough, many of the couples showed up. The therapist was focusing on communication and Moishe and Miriam Silverman were listening as the therapist declared: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the men: "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Moishe leaned over, touched Miriam’s arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

We thought it was our ability to love that made us human,

but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK.

 

Sitting beside my girlfriend I said, "I love you."

She said, "Is that you or the beer talking?"

I said, "It's me talking to the beer."

 

When I asked my wife asked when she knew she loved me She said "We were in Yerushalayim,  and the way you knew so much about the city like it was second nature to you. But I never felt you were condescending to me when I'd ask stupid questions. I saw how much you knew, how passionate you could be. I'd been bored by all the old buildings, but you brought it all to life. I think that weekend, was when I realized you could be the best thing about my life."

I didn't speak for a while, just looked at her and said three words.

"Our tenth anniversary?"

 

I love the taste of clocks but… Eating them is time consuming

 

I love bad eyeball jokes- the cornea the better!

 

s Moishe left a board meeting at shul, he desperately gave himself a personal TSA pat down. He was looking for his keys. They were not in his pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly he realized that he must have left them in the car. Frantically, he headed for the parking lot.

 

Moishe’s wife, Miriam, had scolded him many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. Moishe’s theory is that the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Miriam’s theory is that the car will be stolen. As Moishe burst through the doors of the shul, he came to a terrifying conclusion: Miriam’s theory was right. The parking lot was empty. He immediately called the police. He gave them his location, confessing that he had left the keys in the car and that it had been stolen.

Then Moishe made the most difficult call of all. "Honey," he stammered. He always calls her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. Moishe thought the call had been dropped, but then he heard Miriam’s voice. "Moishe!" she barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was his time to be silent. Embarrassed, he said, "Well, come and get me."

Miriam retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car!"

 

I think my wife loves yoga more than she loves me. When I want her to do something, she'll only do it if it fits into her schedule. Meanwhile, she'll bend over backwards for yoga

 

I love whiteboards. They're remarkable.

 

Dave and Cindy Rothman had some friends over for Shabbos dinner when the subject of marriage counselling came up.

"Oh, we'll never need that. Cindy and I have a great relationship," Dave explained.

"She was a communications major in college and I believe it or not, I received a minor in theater arts."

“How does that help you?” asked their guest.

"Cindy communicates really well and I am very good at acting like I'm listening."

 

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know. She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

 

Why do people love the way the earth rotates? Because it really makes their day

I really love 50 Cent......Or as we call him here in Iran, '200 million dollars'.

.*******************************************

The answer to this week's question is A- It's nice to get a freebee on the last week of the year. This one was easy for any frum person and probably even for most secular Israelis as well. Maybe even conservative and Reform Jews-but maybe not… Anyways answer is Haftorah

and of course Rachel buried on the side of the road. So ending off the year with the score being Rabbi Schwartz having 10.5 points and the MOT having 3.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam

 

Soldiers and Sheep- Parshat Nitzavim-Vayelech 5783- 2023

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 8^th, 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 48 22^nd of Elul 5783

 

Parshat Nitzavim- Va’Yelech

Soldiers and Sheep

“Men to the right. Women to the left”. When the words came out of Ari’s mouth there was an awkward silence. Here he was standing on the hills of Judea with a gun tucked comfortably in his belt and standing before a group of about 20 German couples and singles. But these weren’t “stam” Germans. These were grandchildren of former Nazis that were standing before him. What were they doing there? Ari himself wasn’t exactly sure. It was as if he was still in a dream. A dream that was in fact the fulfillment of the prophecies that Isaiah, Yirmiya and Tzidkiya had seen so many millennia ago.

 See, Ari was a nice boy from Texas who together with his partner Jeremy had decided that it was time to not only live the dream of moving to Israel, but in fact to become part of creating the dream of settling the land where the dream had not yet actualized. They came out to the hilltops on the outskirts of Judea and Jerusalem, on the mountains that overlook the Dead Sea and Jordan, right on the top of Nachal Arugot in Ein Gedi. But wayyyy on top. There they lived for months in caravans without electricity or running water and with the permission of the government set up shop for their new homes. They were settling the land and they had dreams.

 The government had given them these permits not as a residential living, as the rest of the world gets all nervous when Jews settle in our ancestral homeland. Rather they were there to create a tourist visitors site that would protect the governments nature reserve from the illegal Arab and Bedouin encroachment. They were “rangers” if you will who were permitted to live on site with their families, as their presence would prevent the Arabs from taking over more and more of the hilltops with their sheep and illegal settlements. The world really didn’t have a problem with the Arabs doing that it seems.

 Over the last few years Ari, Jeremy, Yossi and one other friend of theirs have built and created a virtual paradise there. They have lovely homes, there is a natural modern ecological pool that is so so cool and looks like Gan Eden. They have vineyards, olive orchards and herds of sheep and goats they raise and shepherd in the same hills that King David did.

 Their next big project was the shul that they had dreamed of building, and they weren’t sure how they were going to make it happen. That was at least until Klaus and his friends pulled up to their hilltop in their bus and introduced themselves. They told him that they were a small group of descendants of Nazi’s that were carpenters and handymen, and they are haunted and horrified of the atrocities committed by their grandparents and their countrymen. They understood that they could never set things right. Yet, they felt that if in some way they could be part of building and restoring the nation that their ancestors had attempted to destroy, that it would in someway serve as a restoration of justice and an atonement for themselves. It would break them free of this cycle of terror and horror that their zaydies committed against ours. And thus, they were offering their services to have any part and be allowed to participate in settling the furthest new Jewish settlement in Judea.

 “Bitte- please.. allow us to help.” Allow us to restore you.  

 And so they did. The shul was being built rock by rock that was quarried out of these ancient hills at the summit of the hill. The highest point of the settlement as a shul was meant to be built at. The women that had joined the group were charged with clearing the lower hills and planting the vineyards and olive orchards. And so, Ari, found himself giving those instructions after breakfast and their daily Torah study where he shared with them the words of the prophets they were actualizing. The words of the children of Esau/ Edom joining with the descendants of Yishmael and building homes and places of worship in the 2000-year barren and desolate hills of Yehuda that were once full of laughter and life.

 “Men to the right- up the hill to the shul and women to the left down to the fields.”.

 Those directions and division that had meant the death of 6 million of our ancestors, that divided up families, were now being used to rebuild. Pakod Pakadati- Hashem had brought us home and turned the curse into the blessing. The Nazi grandchildren appreciated the irony. A burst of laughter sounded out and Am Yisrael Chai was heard and sung and echoed through these ancient hilltops once again.

 This week’s two Torah portions, the last to be read this year before Rosh Hashna next Shabbos, begin with a list of our entire nation standing before Moshe and entering into the covenant; the bris between us and Hashem.

 Atem nitzavim Hayom kulchem- You are all standing today, all of you-

Leaders, elders, officers, men, women, children, converts from the most educated to the simplest, from the most knowledgeable to the most ignorant. All of us.

 L’avrechah b’bris Hashem Elokecha u’valaso- to pass us through the covenant of Hashem our God and his oath.

What does it mean to pass us through a covenant? Rashi notes this strange phrase and describes it as the ancient way that treaties were made. They would have a demarcation on two sides and then the parties would walk between the divide. One by one…

 The great Chasidic Rebbi Reb Kloynamus Kalman Epstien known better by his incredible sefer that he wrote the Me’or V’Shemesh, points out that we don’t find anywhere, in fact that we passed through a covenant of this sort. As well he notes that the proper grammatical terminology would be the plural “l’avrechem- that we pass through”, rather than the singular l’avrechah. Just as the previous verse utilizes the  plural form of ‘atem’ and ‘kulchem’.

 He answers with an insight that he had heard from his Rebbi, the Toldos Yaakov Yosef, that the ‘Ha’yom- today’ that the verse is referring to is Rosh Hashana. It is on Rosh Hashana that we pass through a line each year on this day, as we know and recite in Nesaneh Tokef we

 Overim lifanecha K’vnei maron- we pass before You like the children of Maron.

Like sheep going through the gate of the shepherd and being counted, the Talmud tells us.

 Yet fascinatingly enough the Talmud tells us that when that count happens, we are all surveyed

Ba’sekira achas- with one glance. In one judgement.

 What does that mean? Are we being judged individually? Are we walking through one-by-one? Or are we all looked at together. Are we all in the same boat?

 Whenever I say these words on Rosh Hashanah-and I don’t think this is only true for me, I believe that the vivid imagery of the judgement on this day of Rosh Hashana conjures up not just sheep going through a gate, but us each standing on line.

 Men to the right women to the left- or at least on Rosh Hashana it’s righteous to the right and sinners to the left. It’s one by one. We’re standing before the King and awaiting to see what our judgment will be this year. Who will live and who will die. Who by fire and who by water. Who will be rich and who will be poor, who will get married, who will be born, who will have peace, tranquility and nachas and who nebach won’t… We’re on the defendants stand and frighteningly we know we’re guilty as sin.

 It’s what our nation felt after we heard all the curses and punishments in last week’s parsha of the tochacha that is always read two weeks before Rosh Hashana. It’s the parsha when we got on line right out of the cattle cars and one by one faced the judge, the “Doctor”, the King, that would be pointing to the right or the left. There are guards standing on both sides of us. There’s no where to run and hide. We just make our way to the front of the line and await our fate. Our judgement…We passed through the Bris- that covenant of fire and fear- the oath and the curses we would be subjected to for not following the commandments when we read the parsha last week and we do that ‘Ha’Yom’.- each Rosh Hashana. Like sheep to the slaughter.

 Yet this week the parsha tells us that we are still standing. Each and everyone of us on that line. And Moshe tells us that there is another way to look at that line that we are on. It’s not a death gauntlet. We haven’t fallen. We haven’t gone to the chambers. We are standing tall and proud. And we are standing together. Rather the line that we are standing on and walking between is a red carpet where the soldiers of King David are walking down to greet the King.

 The Talmud tells us that there is another interpretation of the word Bnai Maron. Rashi on that Talmud explains that it is a term of royalty- Mar or adon- great men. When we are marching together on Rosh Hashana then we are as well passing through a crowd lined up on both sides. Yet it is not a concentration camp line but rather it is as if we are standing and marching on the airport tarmac where the presidential Air Force One plane is landing. The King is going to becoming off that plane and we are marching one-by-one down the aisle to greet Him.

When we march like that than despite the fact that some of us are Rabbis, some are scholars, some are saints and some are sinners. Some are old and some are young, some are wood choppers and others are in Hi-Tech, or are tour guides, falafel makers, taxi drives, or even- dare I say members of the Knesset. Yet, we are all viewed and judged as one. It’s one big green army of Dovid that is marching together- singularly passing through that line.

 Do you know who is standing on the sides that we are passing through? It is the nations of the world. It is the media. It is the United Nations. It is the grandchildren of Nazis. They are watching and waiting for us to reveal the King.

 The Me’or Va’Shemesh homiletically reads the words

Sekira achas- that we are all being surveyed if we are revealing the achas- the Oneness of our mission.

The Oneness of our King. The Oneness of the world that connects us all together. When we do that then the entire world will join us. They will build our shuls, our palaces, the Bais Ha’Mikdash will be the “bais tefilla l’kol ha’amim- the place of worship and connection for all nations. His Kingdom will reign on the entire world, as our prayers on Rosh Hashana repeatedly pine for.

 Yet, it is even deeper than that. Do you know what language we speak in this country of ours? Hebrew. The word Hebrew comes of course from the ivrit which of course is a reference to the first title our forefather was given Avraham Ha’ivri- Abraham the Hebrew. Why is he called a Hebrew? The famous Rashi there tells us that he was one side- eyver ,while the rest of the world was on the other… Fascinatingly enough this happened in the dor haflaga- the generation of the “great Divide”, when the world was building a tower to rage war against the One God. They were as well trying to bridge the divide but to destroy the one-ness of Hashem from revealing itself in this world.

 Their punishment? There would be different languages that would be spoken. There would not be one united language that would connect us to Hashem. Each of them would go on to creating gods within their own individual images. Language and words of course being the method that Hashem created the world. Hashem did that in Hebrew- in Lashon Ha’Kodesh. There one Hebrew left though. Avraham Ha’ivri was on the other side and we his descendants were chosen to carry on that legacy and that holy language.

 Yet perhaps there is another reason that he and therefore we are called Hebrews. Perhaps he was thus named because he was the first one to be ohver in the bris- he passed through the covenant of the pieces, when Hashem promised him that his descendants- us, would inherit the land after our exile to Egypt. Avraham is the one that proudly passes through the two sides and unites the world under the one King, and we his descendants as well pass through that same treaty.

 Our history is one of passing through the sides. We passed through the two sides of the sea when we left Egypt and we passed through the Jordan River when it split as well upon entering the land. The parsha repeatedly uses this word- check it out. We are being charged to march forward, while on the right and left us Creation and the nations of the world stand at attention. Va’yavo Melech Ha’kavod- and the King of Glory will then come down.

 We never went like sheep to the slaughter in the Holocaust. The proud nation of Hashem went into the gas chambers between the lines of our enemies singing Ani Maamin with total faith. Story after story, book after book have been written and told of these “soldiers of the army of Dovid” that marched forward declaring Shema Yisrael with their final words…on this world. Yet, eternally those words were now being spoken here in Judea by the descendants of these same monsters who tried to destroy us. Returned to the land of Avraham Ha’ivri’s descendants.

 This is the final parsha that we read before Rosh Hashana when we again line up like sheep to be counted. Ari counts his sheep every day to make sure that none of them have been stolen or missing. They are holy sheep that are settling the land-as fascinatingly enough even the local Arabs and Bedouin thieves respect that each settler is allowed land for their personal grazing, and they will not encroach upon it. They recognize that only because we have returned as Bnai Maron, as shepherds and as soldiers. We have come to settle, come to live, but more importantly we have come to build shuls, to build a palace for Hashem. We have come to declare Hashem Echad and the children of Esau and Yishmael will join us. They are standing on the sidelines waiting for us all to unite. For this Rosh Hashana to be the final one, when we are just reimagining the service in the Temple.

  Sometimes it takes tragedy and curses fulfilled to make us realize that we are all one and all soldiers. We’ve had plenty of those and yet we are still standing. We read last parsha, our sages tell us, in order to fulfill the curses through our reading. Tichleh shana v’kililoseha- the year should end as should its curses and tragedies. We read this week’s parsha to remind us that those curses and tragedies that united us will have the power to transform us from sheep to soldiers. We’re Hebrews. We’re Yisrael. Now we just need our King.

 Have an amazing last Shabbos of the year,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Az men shert di shaf, tsitteren di lemmer” - When the sheep are shorn, the lambs tremble

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

 

5. The name of the emperor in whose name the port of Caesarea was founded, is___________.

According to the scripture, which of the following occurred in Caesarea?

A. The surrendering of Flavius Josephus (Yosef ben Matityahu)

B. Peter's vision

C. The execution of Rabbi Akivah

D. The baptism of Paul (Paulus)

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqSgW9t7Br0  – Check out my friend Ari and his buddies here in Chaan Arugot and the views… and their stories…

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ponecha-your-face - It’s here... My latest Elul composition… I don’t know how you found any meaning in this month without this song…Dovid Lowy arrangements and Vocals amazing hartzig!! Listen again and again every day of Elul left..

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey  - Maybe you experienced  Elul with song until now- as well the extra psalm we add l’dovid… enjoy my Lulay He’amanti..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efe9cvtZUts  –The Lubavitcher Rebbi on Shabbos before Rosh Hashana

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh8J2YQUb_E   – But to be honest.. Eitan Katz really as the song of the week with his Ki Karov…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sYZTrakX7Y    – Singing Shuvi Nafshi by the grave of Reb Shlomo where I was this past week…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The King’s Watch- As we said last week, Athalia the wicked daughter of Achav ruled for 7 years after wiping out her own grandchildren that would’ve taken her place. Yet, Yehoash the child of Achazya is hidden by his aunt and guarded over by the High Priest Yehoyada in the Temple. At age 7 it was time for him to take the kingdom. In order to make this happen Yehoyada needed allies and for that he called up the Kohanim of the watch to protect the new king.

 

Going back to the times of Moshe we are told that there were shifts of Kohanim that would serve in the Mishkan and then the Beit Ha’Mikdash. Moshe established 8, Shmuel another 8 and ultimately Dovid established the final 8 making the total of 24. Each Mishmar would serve for a half a month from Shabbos to Shabbos and they would be charged with doing the service in the Temple. Each of the Mishmarot would be divided up by families called Ma’amados so that everyone would get a chance to serve. It was these groups that Yehoyada marshalled to his cause. He took some of the Mishmar Kohanim from the previous week as well as the ones not serving in the Mikdash. They divided the groups up to guard the Temple, the palace gates and to keep a lookout. And with the king protected the reign could be declared.

 

The Mishmarot were a very significant part of our life and Judaism that we lost. In the times of the return of Ezra and Nechemia only 4 families returned from Galus. Can you imagine that? Staying in Exile when you have the opportunity not only to return to Israel, but to even serve in the Mikdash. Even after the destruction of the Temple, when most of the Mishmarot moved up North to the Galil we find that the synagogues from the periods of the Temple contained Mosaic floors with the names of the Mishmarot. Shuls with those inscriptions were found in Ashkelon, Caesarea, and in Kissufim and even in a shul found in Yemen!

 

As well, although we’re probably only familiar with the mishmarot and their names from a piyyut or two on Tisha B’Av, yet we have found throughout the generations many piyyutim that seemed to be dedicated to the Mishmarot that were regularly recited. In the period of the Rishonim they were recited each Shabbos. And in the famous Cairo Geniza there were piyyutim that dated back to the Byzantine period that were recited.

 

Now although we like to think of Kohanim of the Mishmar as being holy priest dedicated with the spiritual. Here we find that they become Priests with guns. They’re given weapons and put on the guard of the new king. Yet, this shouldn’t be a wonder though. The Kohanim and tribe first of Levi first got their job by taking up the swords after the sin of the Golden Calf and killing their fellow brothers who had sinned. The service of Hashem demands full dedication and putting your life on the line is what gets them their job. As well the Chashmonaim are Kohanim and perhaps that’s why as well l’havdil the Crusaders stole and distorted the concept from.

 

Yet here, they do what they need to and next week we will welcome the new king.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE JEWISH SOLDIER JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 

A general asks a Dudi his new recruit in the army . “Young soldier, what will you do if you see 20 soldiers coming to attack you? T

Dudi answered “that I would take an Uzi and shoot them”.

The general asks him what if a tank is coming to kill you?

I would take a rocket launcher and defend myself replied the young soldier.

The general asks him what if you see tanks, terrorists and planes together?

The soldier says, general, am I the only one in the army?

 

Berel, Yankel and Moishe are about to be executed by firing squad. The sergeant in charge asks each one whether he wants a blindfold.

“Yes,” says Berle, in a resigned tone.

“OK,” says Yankel, in a quiet voice.

“And what about you?” he enquires of Moishe.

“No,” he says, “I don’t want your lousy blindfold,” followed by a few choice curses.

 Yankel immediately leans over to him and whispers: “Listen, Moshe, take a blindfold. Don’t make trouble.”

 

The commanding officer at the Russian military academy gave a lecture on Potential Problems and

Military Strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions. An officer stood up and asked, "Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?"

The general answered both questions in the affirmative.

Another officer asked, "Who will be the enemy?"

The general replied, "All indications point to China ."

Everyone in the audience was shocked. A third officer remarked, "General, we a nation of only 150 million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese. Can we win at all, or even survive?"

The general answered, "Just think about this for a moment: In modern warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters but the quality of an army’s capabilities. For example, in the Middle East we have had a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs, and

Israel was always victorious."

After a small pause, yet another officer from the back of the auditorium asked, "Do we have enough Jews???"

 

 

During the Six-Day War, the enemies of Israel identified a hill of great strategic importance, and when they realized it was guarded by a lone Israeli soldier, they sent in a platoon to attack immediately. Thirty minutes later, the whole platoon had been captured by the lone Israeli.

As they were being led away, their lieutenant remarked,

“I gotta admit, you Israelis are tough.”

“You think I’m tough? You should meet my husband!”

 

Deep in the desert. Mehmet, an Arab fighter (or militant, if you will) chases an Israeli soldier, let's call him Moshe, with an AK47 gun. Mehmet closes on Moshe and starts firing at him but misses. The chase continues through the desert, there's quite a lot of firing from Mehmet and quite a lot of bullet dodging from Moshe. At one point Mehmet's gun refuses to fire - Mehmet's out of ammunition.

Moshe hears the clicking of the empty gun, turns triumphantly to Mehmet and says: "Out of bullets, huh? Wanna buy some?"

 

Rabbi Landau was, as usual, standing near the shul exit shaking hands as his congregation left. But as Max was leaving, Rabbi Landau grabbed his hand, pulled him aside and said, "Max, I think you need to join the Army of God!"

"But I'm already in God’s Army, Rabbi," said Max.

"So how come I don't see in shul except on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?" said Rabbi Landau.

Max whispered, "I'm in the secret service."

 

Berel was a new oleh who just enlisted in the army and after a few weeks was feeling kind of homesick and asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.

The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked,

"How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"

 

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The answer to this week”s question is C – Got this one right, but not necessarily because I knew the correct answer. As far as the fill-in-the-blank portion, I just went with Agustus. When in doubt Agustus is a good guess. There were a few of them. The correct answer was Augustus Octavius, but believe just answering Augustus is good enough. As far as part two of the question. So of course I knew that Rabbi Akiva was killed there. I guide there all the time. Many of the Harugie Malchus were murdered there in the amphitheater to the blood-thirsty crowds that watched lustily. Yet, the question said scripture and Rabbi Akia is certainly not in scripture, so that’s what gave me pause as I thought it might have been a trick question.

 

Yet, surprisingly since I knew that Josephus’s surrender took place in Yodefat, Peter’s supposed vision was by the Banias, and Paul was most likely I guessed toiveled in the Jordan River (although I was wrong about that one- it was in Damascus), so by process of elimination I went with Rabbi Akiva and assumed that they made a mistake in translation of the question to English writing scripture rather than just writings. And I was correct. So I got this right and feel kind of weird that I knew all the xtian answers- well at leasat I got the Paul one wrong… So BH I deleted some of the info from my brain… on the other hand maybe I never really got it in the first place. So the score is now Rabbi Schwartz having a 3.5 point and the MOT having 1.5 point as we start this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.