Purim Surprise- Parshat Pikudei 5779 /2019

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

March 8^th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 23-1^st of Adar II 5779

Parshat Pikudei

Purim Surprise

Things were different back in the day. When I went to yeshiva in Israel for a year, it meant that I was going to be away from my parents for the year. My mother gave me these little sticky things that you stuck on something called envelopes. They were meant for this ancient form of communication called “writing letters”. I was supposed to take a thing called a pen that had a dye called ink in it and write these letters to my parents to share with them how my Israel experience was going. It’s not like we never talked. They had these things called pay telephones back then, they were operated by inserting a little coin with a hole inside of it called an asimon. (The holes were not to tie a string through and let it down and then pull it up again after the phone clicked before the coin dropped into the box- although some people in yeshiva thought they were). When the call connected- usually a collect call from Ephraim Callmebackinmyapartment. There would be a 15 second delay or so. It was not an easy form of communication. Conversation was challenging. I called about once a month or so and was able to usually just make sure to communicate the most important two words- “Send Money”. Sometimes I got in a “I love you and miss you”. But that was only to insure that the first two words were not a bracha or prayer livatala- in vain.

Today we have yeshiva students and seminary girls that seem to talk to their parents a few times a day. Some even Facetime on the smartphones they have hidden under the mattresses. You are not a good parent if you don’t visit your child in Israel at least a few times during the year besides of course bringing them home for Pesach and Sukkos and for your second cousins engagement party. $25,000 a year for a year in Israel it seems is not enough to prove your affection for your child. Yeah… It’s a different world. I knew my parents loved me when I got regards and a “package” with my mother’s cookies in them along with a message asking why she hadn’t received aforementioned letters from me. I blamed it on the Israeli mail system. Sometimes it can work in your favor.
Now after a year in Israel, I wouldn’t say I was getting homesick, but I did miss my family, my mother’s cooking and my friends. So when the opportunity arose and I was contacted by an organization that wanted me to fundraise and go around collecting for them before Purim and they were willing to pay my ticket I jumped at it. Now we Schwartzes like surprises. So I decided not to tell my parents I was coming in. The plan was I would arrive a few days before Purim collect in New York and on Purim afternoon fly to Detroit and surprise my parents in middle of their Purim Seuda. It was going to be amazing.

Well, my collecting in New York was not that successful and come Purim morning, I had certainly covered my expenses and even made some money above that, but not nearly what the organization was hoping for. So pulling out my last card I went to a very wealthy person who had a thing for drunk yeshiva guys and was offering money for every shot you could take of his really terrible whiskey. I cleaned off the bottle. I made my money. But I was a bit woozy when I got into the Russian kahr sehervees that would take me to the airport. I changed out of my costume which was sweaty and dirty from all my dancing, but it seems I forgot to change my big clown shoes that had a big toe sticking out of it. He helped me to my gate. You know you’re in bad shape when the big African American woman sitting next to you asks to change her seat. But I made it. I was in Detroit.

Now I had planned in advance for this to be a surprise. So my good friend picked me up at the airport along with a big chicken costume. As we approached my home I called my cousin in Bnai Brak who I had already prepared for this and then conferenced him in with my parents in Detroit who had just begun their seuda. This was a new invention back then and my parents had no way of knowing that when my cousin was on the phone with them asking them what to do with their son who was drunk all over their house and me screaming in the background that I loved them that I was really in fact a block away from their house. A few minute later when I entered their Purim seuda dressed in the bird costume with some other friends of mine all dressed up and dancing around the table, they just assumed it was the regular yeshiva guys dancing around. However, when I approached my, of-dateable-age, sister and started chicken flirting with her and started to hug her, my mother ripped off the costume head and was shocked to find me there. “Happy Purim!”, the prodigal son had returned. My father looked at the glass he was drinking, looked at the phone he was just talking to me on and looked at me bewildered. I told them I didn’t receive any letters or packages lately and decided to make their purim a little happier. And it was. At least what I remember from it.

Welcome to the month of Adar for the second time! The month of joy on top of joy. In a regular year we have only about two weeks to get ready for Purim and start increasing our simcha level. This year we have 6 glorious weeks. The great Chasidic master, the Maor Va’shemesh suggests that the first Adar is for tzadikim- the righteous, the second Adar is for the baalei teshuva- the ones who have returned. The tzadikim start activating and increasing their joy right away. Us, not-so-righteous, need another month to get into it.

There is a difference though between- the repentance of Adar and teshuva before Rosh Hashana. There we repent out of yirah- out of fear and awe of the upcoming days of judgement of the Yom Kipurim- the day like purim. On Yom Kippur we have an appointment for judgement with Hashem. We prepare for that. Purim on the other hand is more like the “Surprise!! I’m here!!” type of visit. In Adar we repent out of joy, out of the incredible realization that Hashem is in our midst, inside of us, even when we can’t see him on the outside. Even when we are facing death, destruction and genocide. Even when you think He is really a world away.

After-all the original adar in the times of Esther and Mordechai were exactly that. The two weeks before the original Purim were, like the two weeks before Tisha B’Av in Spain before the impending expulsion of the Jews. It was like the two weeks before Poland or France were invaded. And yet we remember this time each year by increasing our simcha. By returning and seeing him, even when it seems darkest. By finding Him inside of ourselves and each other even when we feel He is far far away.

This week we conclude the book of Shemos. The book of our exile and redemption concludes that Moshe could not enter the Tent of Gathering, the mishkan, the house of Hashem when the clouds had descended upon it. It is dark. Hashem is hidden away. Even Moshe is locked out. Just like in the times of Purim when we were in Persia thrown far far away from our land. And yet next Shabbos as we approach the holiday of Purim we see the light. Parshat Vayikra, the next book begins with Hashem calling to Moshe. Calling him personally. Like one would call a friend. Our sages tell us that each of us receive that call. Hashem is telling us that He is inside of us. We need to be megaleh the nistar- we need to reveal the son that may be hiding in a chicken costume. We need to see the name of Hashem in the book of Esther, the king, as The King whose name may not even visible at first glance. Who might seem he is far away in our cousin’s house in Bnai Brak. That’s the joy of Adar. Ripping off that costume’s head and reuniting with our Father in heaven. The prodigal son has returned.

I saw an incredible insight from the Shemen Hatov. In recounting all the materials for the Mishkan the torah tells us

Shemos (39:1) And they made from techelet (blue wool) and purple wool and scarlet wool mesh garment to serve in the kodesh. And they made garments of sanctity for Aharon as Hashem commanded Moshe.

Rashi notes on that verse that the mesh garments referred to here were not clothing. As all the Kohens clothing were made out of linen and that is not mentioned here. Rather “mesh clothing” is a reference to garments that were made to clothe the vessels of the temple as they were wrapped up in them when they travelled. The Shemen Hatov notes that if that is the case then it would seem that whenever it refers to the clothing of the kohanim the term mesh garments-bigdei sheish- is always used. Why? Isn’t that a reference to garments that cover holy vessels. The answer is that the kohanim themselves are holy vessels. We are all holy vessels. There is the shechina hidden deep inside of us, that sometimes makes it difficult to see. We’ve all got our chicken costumes on. They are suits, they are ties, they are shtreimels, knitted yarmulkas and black hats. They are the faces that we put on when we believe we are in control of our destiny. They are the faces of galus/exile that feel more American or Israeli than we feel like children of Hashem.

It’s because we haven’t called home in a while. We’re tired old school Jews that are still using asimonim to talk to Hashem. We need real Facetime. We need to hear the call of Vayikra of next week’s Torah portion and see the behind the clouds and costumes that blur our truest essence. The month of teshuva Part II has arrived. In Elul, we are told the King is in the field. In Adar he is even closer. He is knocking outside our door ready to join us for our seuda. Are you ready to open the door?

Have a doubly happy Shabbos and a joyous Rosh Chodesh Adar!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

********************************************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“A hun iz gut tsu esn zalbenand - ich un di hun..”– A chicken dinner is best when shared by two - me and the chicken

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

Q From where did the “Etzel” fighters depart before they stormed the Acre prison?

A. Shuni

B. Hanita

C. Atlit

D. Ramat Raziel

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/techelet-mordechai – You really won’t have a great Purim Seuda unless you learn this song and sing it again and again! My Techelet Mordechai

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1oQnDO9fVE –A young Jackie Mason great!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qJRgbFeP6A   – Evolution of Jewish Music fun! Meir Kay and Benny

https://youtu.be/_EqAa4nmtYY  -Rav Scheinbergs Purim surprise

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Pikudei– Lamdanim are kind of like grammar teachers with imaginations. Meaning that they read your paper and red mark all of the things that are improperly written- like grammar teachers. However then they stop and say perhaps it was meant to be written precisely the way it is written and the reason it seems wrong to me is because I’m not reading it properly. Yeah I never had a grammar teacher that was a lamdan. I just got the red marks for all my lack of or improperly placed punctuation and grammar mistakes. But I’m not God. My work didn’t deserve imagination. The Torah and the words of our sages are written precisely and therefore when faced with an improper grammar problem, read it again, be lamdan you will uncover incredible meaning.

This weeks Torah portion which recounts all of the work of building the temple cocludes that portion with a verse that most grammar teachers would have placed a big red stripe thru.

Shemos (3932)And all of the work of the mishkan was finished, and the children of Israel did like all that Hashem had commanded Moshe, so they did do.

Now the way that my English teacher probably would have had me write the verse is the other way around. The children of Israel did all that Hashem had commanded Moshe to do and the work of the Mishkan was finished. It seems backwards the way that the Torah writes it.

The Alshich Hakadosh notes this, but he reread the verse and understood it precisely the way it is written. See by writing the Mishkan was completed, before it tells us that the Jews did what Moshe had commanded them is in fact telling us that they really didn’t complete the mishkan. In fact it says that specifically. It says we did “like” Hashem commanded not “as” Hashem commanded. The Torah is not a teenager girl that likes to throw the word “like” randomly in to sentences. If it says “like” it means we didn’t do it precisely as. It was similar to what Hashem commanded. What happened?

The Alshich tells us that we really couldn’t do it. How do we build a home for God? We had trouble with it. So Hashem completed the Mishkan. “The Mishkan was completed” as the verse tells us. It happened by itself. It happened by Hashem. The Torah then tells us that the Jews did like Hashem told us and you know what? ‘And so they did.’ Hashem considered it as if they had done it. We merely need to try to do the best we can. Hashem does the rest and he considers our best efforts as if we had actually done the act He requested of us. Amazing. Aren’t you glad you didn’t just put red marks through it all?

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

33 Kings in one tiny country 1265 BC – The final tally of the conquest of the land of Israel we are told in chapter 12 of the book of Yehoshua consisted of 33 Kings. Now we have a pretty tiny country. 31 Kings are a lot. I guess that’s where the tradition started that today everyone in this country thinks they are a melech. The commentaries actually say something fascinating they suggest that in fact these kings had kingdoms other places but they all wanted to have a piece of Israel as well and thus established min-fiefdoms here. I mention this to my tourists as we walk through the Old city of Jerusalem and they see all the churches that are there. Most of them were built at the end of the Ottoman Empire in the 1800’s, and they were built by everyone from the Austria Hungarians, Russians, French, English and even Americans all trying to get a piece of Eretz Yisrael in the waning Turkish Empire. Some things never change.

So there are a list of 33 Kings in total. Two of them Sichon and Og the giants on the other side of the Jordan River which today is Jordan and the Golan were conquered by Moshe. The 31 of Yehoshua many of them we have uncovered today and found Canaani burnt ruins that were destroyed by Yehoshua. Let’s see how many of them we can place. First the easy ones

Jericho-check! Ai-check! Jerusalem-check! Chevron-check! Lachish-check! Gezer-check! Arad-check! Afek- check! Yokne’am-check! Kadesh-check! Dor-check! Megiddo- check-! Chatzor- check! Besides Yericho, which we don’t have access to I’ve been to all of them.

Some of the less famous ones that are mentioned that we have are tel yarmut- near beit shemesh, I’ve been to Park Adulam also in that area which is named after the Canani city of Adulam although never been to the tel there. The rest archaeologists have all types of suggestions as to where they are. Generally, the process of connecting the dots are tanach’s descriptions of their location, archaeological finds in the area that date to the 13^th century BC and interestingly enough Arab villages nearby that have similar names. One of the benefits of having people live here even when we didn’t are that many of the names stuck. But we’re back now so it’s time to start resettling them!

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S SURPRISE JOKES  OF THE WEEK

A woman calls the Rabbi. "I was just notified my husband won the 250 million lottery. I am afraid he will faint when he hears the news. What to do?"
"Send him to me first," says the rabbi.
The man comes to the Rabbi.
"Abe, what would you do if you won the lottery"?
"Ha Rabbi, me? Never! I don't have mazal.
"But who knows maybe you will win. What would you do?"
"Rabbi, stop making jokes with me, it is not happening."
"Abe, let's talk theoretically. If you would win what would you do?"
Rabbi! If I won the lottery, I swear to you, I would give you half!
And the Rabbi fainted!...

Sarah comes home from her long stay in Uganda and surprises her mother Bette, who is in the process of lighting the Friday night candles and serving the matzoh ball soup. Bette is so thrilled she can't stop hugging and kissing Sarah.
Finally she says, "Sit down, darling. Tell me all about what you were doing."
Sarah says, "Mum, I got married."
"Oy, mazeltov," says Bette, "But how could you do that without telling me? What's he like? What does he do? Where is he?"
"He's waiting outside while I tell you."
"What are you talking about? Bring him in. I want to meet my new son-in-law."
Sarah brings him in and to her consternation, Bette sees a black man standing before her wearing an evil grin, a feathered cod piece, an ornate head dress, animal tooth beads and holding a tall spear.
Bette says to Sarah, "What did you do?! Are you hard of hearing?   I said RICH doctor!"

Chaim comes home from golfing to find his wife, Rochel on her hands and knees cleaning the floors with a toothbrush for Pesach.

 "I'm here to help you, my dear," he says.

 "Oh, no!," replies Rochel knowing the mess Chaim makes whenever he tries to “help”, "The best way for you to help me is to go back to the golf course."

Two hours later, Chaim is back again and a surprised Rochel says, "Chaim, what are you doing home so early?"

 to which Chaim impatiently replies, "Did you think I was going to help you all day?"

Rabbi Landau has always been secretly sad that he's never been able to eat pork. So one day, he flies to a remote tropical Island and books into a hotel. “No one will find me here,” he said to himself. On the first evening, he goes to the best restaurant and orders the ‘roast pork special’. While he’s waiting, he hears someone call his name. Rabbi Landau looks up and sees one of his congregants walking towards his table. What unbelievably bad luck – the same time to visit the same restaurant on the same island!
Just at that moment, the waiter puts on his table a whole roasted pig with an apple in its mouth and says, “Your special, sir.”

Rabbi Landau looks up sheepishly at his congregant and says, "Would you believe it - you order an apple in this restaurant and look how they serve it!"

Rabbi Levy is walking home from shul one shabbes when he sees Issy in front of him. Issy is a learned and respected man who can hold his own with the rabbi on tulmudic discussions. As Rabbi Levy tries to catch up with Issy, he is shocked to see him go into ‘The Chinese Crab’ restaurant. As he looks through the window, Rabbi Levy sees Issy giving his order to a waiter and a short time later sees the food arrive – a plate of shrimps, lobsters and crabs. As Issy picks up the chopsticks and starts to eat, Rabbi Levy bursts into the restaurant and confronts Issy.
"Issy, just what do you think you are doing coming into this restaurant and ordering this treif? You are not only violating everything we are taught about the dietary laws, but you also seem to be enjoying this food."
"Rabbi," says Issy, "did you see me enter this establishment?"
"Yes."
"And did you see me order this food?"
"Yes."
"And did you see the waiter bring the food to me?"
"Yes."
"And did you then see me eat the food?"
"Yes."
"Then I don't see a problem, rabbi. Everything was done under full Rabbinical Supervision."

Jacob goes to the races for the first time. As soon as he arrives at Ascot, not knowing anything about horse racing, he goes straight to the paddock to take a closer look. To his surprise, Jacob sees a rabbi blessing one of the horses. Jacob thinks he must be onto a good thing so he writes down the number of the horse and places a £3 bet on it. The horse wins and Jacob wins £21.
Jacob immediately returns to the paddock and there, as before, he sees the rabbi blessing another horse. He writes down the number of this horse and bets his £21 winnings on it. It comes in first and Jacob now has over £100.
This process goes on race after race until Jacob has won £4,650.
It’s now time for the last race of the day and Jacob watches the rabbi bless the final horse. So confident is Jacob that, although the horse is a 20-1 outsider, he bets his entire £4,650 on it. But, Oy Veh, this time the horse struggles in last, a good 20 lengths behind the field.
Jacob is so upset with this outcome that he runs over to the rabbi and says angrily, "Why did every horse you bless win except the last one, rabbi? He came in last."
The rabbi replies, "That's the problem with you Reform Jews. You don't know the difference between a brocheh and a kaddish."

************

Answer is A–  I was nervous about this one. I definitely did not know the answer, despite the fact that I guide Akko Prion all the time and tell the story there. I never cared, nor did my tourists where the Irgun soliders that dressed up like telephone repairmen to place explosives on the prison bars on top of the Turkish bathouse, left from. So when you don’t know use the process of deduction that can sometimes be found in the elimination of choices that they give you. All the choices generally have to have something connected to the answer and if you know the rest then you can guess the correct one. Hopefully. OK so here was my thinking. Hanita was a fortress in the North that was choma u’migdal, -a small illegal tower and stockade settlement that was put up overnight so that it could be considered part of Israel. So not that one. Atlit was a refugee camp where the British held Jews that smuggled into the country and they broke out of there as well. Not that one as well. Ramat Raziel is named after the head of the Irgun David Raziel and it wasn’t even called that until 1948 after the breakout of 1947. So that leaves Shuni. And whadaya know I was right! Upon googling it turns out that it was the primary training base of the Etzel or Irgun. So the score is  Schwartz 17 and 3 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.

The Heimishe BeltWay- Parshat Tetzaveh 5779/ 2019

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

February 15^th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 20-10^th of Adar I 5779

Parshat Tetzave

The Heimishe BeltWay

I like to consider myself a heimisheh guy. I like herring, I prefer shteeble davening, I am pretty fluent in yeshivish speak, and I was reading Mishpacha magazine… even before their newest featured monthly columnist began writing his column “Hit the Trail” J. I even try to go to the mikva regularly…although admittedly I have been lax, but I think that’s also part of being heimish. Being heimish means you have a strong connection or g’feel, as we heimisheh guys like to say, for our ancestors; the alteh heim. Minhagim, our customs, are very important, if not even more important- right or wrong, than the nuances of halacha. We eat chulent, but we may not be sure exactly how to take it off and on the hot plate halachically on Shabbos. Our wives learned that in school for us. We just know how to eat it well and critique someone else’s chulent when its’ not as good as the ones that we ate in the “heim”.   

Now heimish people are very similar to yeshivish people. And in fact there are quite a few that consider themselves members of both camps, although that is not necessarily, or even regularly the case. There are plenty of yeshivish people that can’t don’t make upsherins for their kids and are very makpid about zmaney tefilah. They are certainly not heimish. If they live “out-of-town” they are certainly not heimish. If they don’t know where “out-of-town” is, they are baal teshuvas.  
At the other end there are many heimisheh people that have smartphones, that think it’s cool to have keys shlepping down their pants and that go on vacations that yeshivish people wouldn’t be caught dead in. They wouldn’t even consider living in Lakewood-although their kids might. Those are your hardcore non-yeshivish but heimish ones.  So how do you know if the person is heimish, yeshivish or both?

The answer is the gartel. See both heimish and yeshivish people wear hats and jackets- the heymish ones wear them even in the places they shouldn’t be vacationing. The difference though can be found in the gartel. That’s your giveaway. Heimish guys always have one. Hard core yeshivish guys though are generally litvaks (or formerly heimish guys that sold out and were traded to the other team after being far’kalted” by the yeshivishe yeshivas they went to) and they rarely wear that that black stringy silk-like belt or sash we throw on for davening. If he has a gartel he is definitely heimish. No gartel very likely not heimish.

Now as I told you consider myself heimish. That being said, I was raised in Detroit. I wore a tan suit and a grey hat with a feather for my bar mitzvah. (SY you can stop laughing now) That’s barely baal teshuva, fuggedabout heimish or yeshivish. It’s probably a whole new category called Detroit, but we’ll leave that for another column. I went to black-hat yeshivas though, and became yeshivish. Yet, there was something in me that always new I came from heimish roots. My grandparents were survivors; they were close to Rebbes on my father’s side. I always liked chulent and of course didn’t have my hair cut until I was three. Now my birth father, Yonah Klein, passed away when I was a very young child. My mother remarried to the most incredible man who is also my father and who raised me, which deserves a Nobel prize of its own, out in Detroit. But as I got older I would visit my grandfather, Zaydie Klein, and see his gartel. I would wonder if I should wear one as well. He would never tell me to, as he felt it was not his place to throw his minhagim onto us. But I played with the idea. It lingered.

A little after my bar mitzvah, there was a period that I put it on. I thought it was cool. Heimish was cool. But it kept falling down, I kept losing it. It was a pain in the belt. So I dumped it. When I got married, it was another moment in my life, when I played with the idea and put it on again. That also didn’t last too long. Despite my desire to be heimish, it was just an added thing to remember to shlep around with me and take off after davening, which I would generally forget to do, thereby littering the streets of Flatbush with my fallen gartels on my walk home. When my daughter was born, I decided to put on an extra pair of teffilin (rabbeinu tam), something my grandfather did as well. It was a more expensive investment then the $5 gartel, but I certainly wasn’t dropping them on my home.

My next big milestone though was when I moved to Israel. I didn’t put one on right away. I was too busy settling in and Aliyah itself was enough of an adjustment. But the thought did enter my mind. Living in Eretz Yisrael is starting a new life. Maybe I should make it a heimish one and put that string belt back on. When I went back to America for the first time a few months after being here, it really hit me how different my life was when I was in Israel. And on the long drive out to Deans, New Jersey to visit my father’s grave, in that real heimish cemetery out there where he is buried, I was conflicted if I perhaps should give it another shot. I was the link in that chain of gartels. (Although I actually think my father didn’t wear one as well, despite the fact that his father did). On the other hand, I had tried and failed about as many times as I had tried losing weight. It wasn’t happening. I got my answer though when I arrived at the grave. For there sitting on my father’s tombstone was none other than a nice black gartel. I don’t know if you ever received a message from the other world. But it is pretty freaky and cool at the same time.

The first thought that ran through my head, was why wasn’t I thinking about how I was going to pay my bills next month on the way over. Maybe dad would’ve left me a check on that tombstone. Just joking. But seriously, it was a very powerful moment. I took that heavenly gartel-that a litvak might suggest that someone might have just happened to find and leave there, but that a heimish person would never even consider, and I wrapped it around myself. I said my tehillim, which were more powerful than ever and I felt a connection, not just to the father I never knew, but to my zeidy and my babby buried right next to him and to all the generation of gartel wearing ancestors before them.

I write about this story this week, because as I was flipping through the parsha and all of the clothing of the kohanim mentioned in it, one of them stood out. Can you guess which one? Yes, it was the avnet or gartel that the Kohen wore. It’s an interesting piece of clothing that is in fact unique amongst the bigdey kehuna. According to the Rambam the gartel was the only garment that was made out of “real” shatnez- the prohibited mixture of wool and linen that is generally forbidden for Jews to wear sewn together {although the choshen/ breastplate and eiphod/apron also were made out of wool and linen, being that they were hard rather than cloth the Rambam doesn’t count them}. It is for that reason the Rambam only permits you to wear that gartel during the service. Otherwise it’s a sin of wearing shatnez. In addition, as opposed to the other garments, each one which corresponds and is meant to atone for various sins; idolatry, licentiousness, acting with arrogance, the avnet is there merely to fulfil the mitzvah of hikon lifney hashem elokecha- preparing oneself before approaching Hashem. It’s the final touch of the Kohen. It is there for the hirhur halev- removing the thoughts of one’s heart that distance and distract us from being entirely focused on Hashem during the kohen’s service and during our own.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe connects those two ideas. The reason why klayim or shatnez is forbidden, we are taught, is because it is the mingling of two worlds. It’s like Kayin, who brought his flax as an offering and Hevel, his brother who brought sheep. The two don’t mix. It didn’t work out for either of these first two children of Mankind when they did. But when one stands before Hashem. When one unites his entire soul and world before Hashem then all things can come together. All things have to come together. The Avnet, that priestly gartel, is the last item the Kohen puts on of his clothing. It is a strange gartel. It is in fact our sages tell us 32 amos long about 45 feet. That’s one heck of a gartel. It serves no purpose in terms of clothing, as the pants the Kohen wears has its own pully string belt (you know the ones that always get sucked into your sweat pants- or am I the only one that happens to). The avnet is there for the Kohen to wrap it around and around and around himself, each time binding his thoughts and his mind to be entirely focused on his service to Hashem. He puts himself in a mind-set and a world where there are no two opposing forces. Everything is connected to Hashem.

So I wear my gartel these days. I actually lost the one that my father “gave” me. If you see it around Flatbush let me know. But my compromise that I made to myself is that I’m only really religious about wearing it on Shabbos. Shabbos is the most heimish of all days of course, it’s why we eat chulent.and herring on it. I find that it gives an extra boost to my davening. To my preparation for davening. When we daven to Hashem, there are so many distractions that pop up in our minds. It’s that one time (or three times) a day that I’m not checking my phone, giving a tour, “familying”, or learning and so every lingering thought, every daydream, every worry and arrangement I have to make seems to want a piece of that action. I’m sure the Kohen in the beis hamikdash had the same challenge. So Hashem gave him a gartel. He wrapped it around and around until everything went away. Until he was prepared for the unique divine encounter which is prayer.

We all could use a gartel. Chasidim joke that it separates between the lower physical parts of the body and the heart and up which is the spiritual. Litvaks who have a cold, physical, heart wear neckties instead to separate between their physical hearts and their spiritual brains. Arabs wear their gartels around their kafiyas (the shmatta around their heads) because even their brains are impure. We all need a gartel. We are all kohanim when we come to Hashem. May we merit to visit Him in his real heim…

Have a heimishe heiligeh Shabbos!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

********************************************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Di tefileh gait aroif un di brocheh gait arop.”– The prayer ascends and the blessing

descends.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

Q  The term “the eyes of the State of Israel” refers to:

A. Mount Tabor

B. The Mitzpeh haYamim Mountain

C. The Hermon Mount

D. Mount Meron

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/1cYBEKJZS08  – Things Yeshivish Kids say

https://youtu.be/MCHyPnoGPPw -Does this song sound familiar to you?

https://youtu.be/6Nar3LJ1Mjw   - Incredible story once again by Rabbi Yoel Gold very inspiring

https://youtu.be/M-0IS6MCNCo  -  a Lost oldie by Rabbi “K” fantastic and catchy.. Chazak Yimale

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Tetzave– One of the most lomdushe things one can do is to uncover the reasoning behind why two great sages argue over a given point in Torah. The most classical place to hone those lomdisheh skills of yours are in the debates between the Rambam and the Raavad. There are no shortage of arguments that the Raavad had with Rambam who felt he wrote the be all and end all of Torah law- he even writes that himself. And the Raavad’s attacks on him are many times pretty aggressive. The commentaries on the Rambam jump to his defense, but at the end of the day there is plenty of room for the lamdan to enter and offer his insight into what the crux of their argument is about.

This week is a great example and you already have half the story. See the Rambam as I mentioned above, is of the opinion that the avnet is the only one with shatnez, and it is therefore the only one that is prohibited to be worn not in the time of service. The Raavad on the other hand writes that the choshen and the eiphod also have shatnez. Since they are permitted outside of doing the service, so may one wear the avnet outside of service as long as he is in the mikdash.

The Rebbe in that incredible sicha I mentioned above explains that those ideas are connected. The Raavad understands that the mitzvah of wearing the avnet made specifically out of wool and linen permitted entirely for the clothing of the Kohen. It is why the choshen and ephod are also made out of them. Thus it doesn’t make a difference if it is during or not during the service, the prohibition of shatnez was never applied to the clothing of the Kohen.

The Rambam on the other hand understands that the prohibition applies even on the clothing of the Kohen. It is just that he is not liable for it while he is doing the service, as there is a mitzvah to wear the garment. Once the service is over, the regular prohibition returns.

Now here’s where it can become even more fun. Take lomdus to a deeper level. Now why is that one views shatnez one way and one the other? So again the rebbe gives us insight. He suggests based on Rabbeinu Bachaya that there are two ideas in the prohibition. One is that one force is holy and one is not and you should not combine the two. The other is that they are two opposite holy forces and although they can be brought together they can never be mingled. He explains with two metaphors of two servants of the king they each have different roles, and the butler should never be mixed with the toilet bowl cleaner. Yet when they stand in front of the king both are equal servants. The king is there and they are all honorable. There are no negative jobs in the palace. Their differences are not recognizable. This is the approach of the Raavad. Wool and linen both are spiritual forces in the palace of the king. Whether they are being used or not and it is precisely for that reason that the command was to make them out of shatnez. To show that in the palace they are all holy.

The Rambam however understands that each one has a separate role, both the plumber and butler are holy. The glory of the king is that when they stand in front of him they are equal. But when they are not doing their job, the butler shouldn’t try to do the plumbers job and vice verse. Thus the avnet, which symbolizes, not a particular job and does not atone for a particular sin. It is there as a preparation for the service is the only one where the two are mingled together. After the service is done each goes back to its own holy place and the two don’t get mingled.

So there you have it a lomdushe vort, not only to explain the debate between the Rambam and Raavad but to give us a deeper appreciation of the fundamentals of the mitzvah.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Fake Treaties and Givon 1272 BC – As we get closer to the “deal of the century” let’s talk this week about the “mother” of all such fake-deals the first treaty since we entered the land 3000 years ago. It sadly has become the harbinger for many of our treaties. False hopes and pretences are what brought them around and generally they are more failed then not.

The story of the Givonim happens when they see that the Jews with Yehoshua are wiping out the cities that we were commanded to miraculously. They realize they made a mistake not taking the offers previously made for peace before the Jews entered the land. But it was too late. Once we came into the land we were commanded to wipe out all the 7 nations and the Givonim were Chivis (that’s with the chhhh like chupa not cheese). They were pretty much doomed.

So what did they do they pretended like they were from far away and got the leaders of the tribes to sign a treaty with them that we would not destroy them if they agreed to be our servants. Not only that but that we would defend them if they were attacked as well. If we had known that they were next on our hit list, we never would have signed it. We were probably not even allowed to sign it as we were commanded to destroy them. But they fooled us. When we realized the ruse and called them on it, it was too late. They had already showed the rest of the world that we had signed a treaty and it would be a chilul Hashem, a desecration of Hashem’s name to break it. Despite the fact that we were tricked. See the world really doesn’t care whether the other teams play fair. The only thing that matters is that we do. Some things never change.

The Jews were of course annoyed with all of this, because they were really banking on settling in the land promised by Hashem. But Yehoshua went along with the deal and the Givonites became the first Jewish Shabbos goyim and foreign labor workers (or Tailandim as they call them here) for us schlepping water and chopping trees for the temple. Ultimately that treaty came back to bite us as it brought us into a huge war. But that’s next week’s column.

Where is Givon? Actually it’s pretty easy to identify. Right next to Givat Ze’ev outside of Yerushalayim there’s a Palestinian village under Area B on the other side of separation fence. If you drive on 443 it’s not far from there. In the 1950’s there were wine vessels that actually dated back to the time of Yehoshua that said Givon on it. As well the arab name Al- Jib is reminiscent of the city name. It’s near the other cities mentioned near there as well. Kiryat Yearim and Yerushalayim. Right next to Al- jib in fact jewish yishuv called Givon Hachadasha. It’s a secular yishuv.  Frum people might not want to name it after the crooked Chivites that fooled us and lived there. So this is definitely a story I share when I drive along that area. As well it’s a story I mention whenever we are anywhere near the Area’s A and B’s and talk about the current “peace accords”. As Winston Churchill said he who fails to learn the lessons of the past are doomed to repeat it.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S CLOTHING JOKES  OF THE WEEK

Bernie called all his staff together at the garment manufacturing plant that he had and announced that his son-in-law was joining the business.

“My friends, he is to have no special privileges and you are to treat him just like anyone else who is due to take over your business in 2 years!”

 Ira was at his shmatta plant and his supplier called him.

“Hello Silverman? When are you going to pay me for those linings?”

Silverman snapped back angrily “how should I know? I’m a dress manufacturer not a fortune teller?!”

A week later he got a letter from the textile company that said

“we cannot ship your order until full payment has been made on your last order”

Silverman sent a letter a reply. it said

“please cancel my order I can’t wait that long.”

Yankel walked into the fancy clothing store on 5^th avenue and picked out a tie. The clerk wrapped it up and handed back to him.

Yankel then said “I’m sorry I changed my mind, I”ll have this pair of socks instead. “

“Ok” said the clerk and began to wrap them up. He handed them to Yankel who then proceeded to walk out of the store.

“Hey! Wait”the clerk shouted “you didn’t pay for that!”

Yankel turned to him slightly hurt “What are you talking about? I just exchanged the tie for the socks?”

“Yes” said the clerk “but you never paid for the tie!”

“Of course not” said Yankel “Did I keep it?”

Cohen made it big in the shmatta business. He took a nothing business and in a few years made it into a world class top of the line clothing company. As the years passed and he was nearing his end he called his lawyer to help him prepare his will. He said

“Sol, I want a stipulation that everyone of my employees who has worked for me for 25 years of more is to get a special bequest of $25,000 dollars each.”

The attorney looked at him strangely “Sam, you only went into business 15 years ago…”

“I know” gasped Cohen “but think how nice it will look in the papers!

************

Answer is C–  And this one I leigitimally got wrong. Not only did I get it wrong, but I’ve been guiding it wrong also. So apologies to all those out there. Unfortunately, you cannot get a refund for the misinformation that I passed on. But for some reason in my course I specifically remember our guide telling us that Mt. Meron was the “einei hamedina”. Because from the army base on top we can look into both Syria and Lebanon. It seems I guess that he was just using that term nonchalantly co-opting it from its original usage, rather than authoritatively. The eyes of the medina were a famous reference to Mt. Hermon- I discovered upon googling it, by Danny Mass in the Yom Kippur War. Ah well there goes my streak. The score is Schwartz 15 and 2 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.