Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, July 10, 2026

Retirement Home- Parshat Matos Maasei 5786 2026

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

June 11th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 37 25th of Tamuz 5786

 

Parshat Matos/Ma'asei

 The Retirement Home

 

Click here below for print edition

(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Matos Maasei  )

 

Our journey is coming to an end. We're at the Banks of the Jordan. We're about to enter the land. Mashiach is right about here. He's not Donald Trump. We're pretty sure about that. Tisha B'Av will hopefully be a holiday this year. My Bein Ha'Zmanim tours will be of the new Bais Ha'Mikdash. Sukkos will be amazing. The Shechina is coming down. Miracles like we never saw before are about to happen. It's almost all over and it's almost about to begin. The 5786 years since Hashem created the word are about to come to the glorious culmination and commencement of the End of Days. Can't you feel it? I can. How about you?

 

If you can't, then perhaps it's time to get new glasses. Ge'ula glasses. My brother is an optometrist if you're looking for a referral, by the way. Yet, being that he lives in Chutz La'aretz, despite the fact that he longs to be here, the glasses he can make for you, don't really show you the whole thing. Chutz La'aretz glasses can only see so much and so far.

 

There's a oft Rabbinically sermoned story about the soldier that was standing by the western wall when it was returned to us, or liberated in 1967 and who was crying. When asked by the Rabbi standing next to him, why he was crying, he answered it was because he didn't know what he should be crying for. To a large degree, I believe that many of us relate and fall into the category of that soldier. Sure, we all want the Bais Ha',Mikdash, we want redemption, we sing l'shana ha'baah bi'yerushalayim. Yet, at the end of the day, how much of that "longing" is really just lip service. How much is it is just engrained into us, like chulent, Shabbos, lashon hara, Shema Yisrael and herring and gefilte fish. See, all of those are pretty much the same. It's just stuff thrown into us that we kind of define our yiddishkeit and thus ourselves by. If we didn't have chulent, or we didn't say Shema, or if we didn't have herring or we didn't have Shabbos or spoke lashon hara. We'd probably be annoyed. But we wouldn't really feel like our lives just fell apart. That we lost an eye or a leg. It wouldn't be tishkach yemini- that our right arm just got blown off.

 

That's kind of the way we feel about Eretz Yisrael and the Bais Ha'Mikdash. It would be nice and great and fun, and even holy and prophetic. But I'm not walking around without an arm. Thank God, I've got both of them. It's more like I don't have that fancy Tesla and I'm stuck in my shleppy yeshivish Toyota. I'm still getting around. It's just not a fancy self-driving car. But at least, I'm not walking. I'm not limping. I know people and soldiers that lost their arms in this war. They don't have the smile, you or I have on our face most of the time. They don't forget ever what they're missing. When they cry, they know what they're crying about.

 

Now we know that we should feel that way. We know that we need to feel that way. We were taught and believe that whoever mourns over the Temple will merit to see it be rebuilt. The problem perhaps is though we don't really see it. We don't feel the loss. We don't and were perhaps never taught what it is truly meant to be and mean to us. And thus, we can't mourn something that we don't even know what it should look like. Someone that is born blind, or deaf, can't mourn the fact that they don't have sight or hearing. They don't know what it is. They only know a dark soundless world. So how could they even dream about what they are lacking.

 

Yet, as I said, the time is here. Hashem is ready to bring the geula. We are at Yarden Yericho and we're about to cross into the Holy Land. It is perhaps at this juncture of time, during the three weeks before Tisha B'Av that we read every year the conclusion of the Book of Bamidbar which is meant to give us the perspective that Moshe gave our nation of what it is meant to look like when we come into the Land and perhaps even more than that, what we are meant to do, what is our job here, what is the vision that we are aspiring to achieve. Because as the famous quote of the Chesire Cat in Alice in Wonderland goes If you don't know where you're going- then any road will get you there. Or perhaps the opposite is true. If you don't know where you're going then you'll never get to where you need to be.

 

How different is the view of Moshe and Hashem versus that of the Jewish nation that he is speaking to back then, and to us today? You tell me. Moshe tells us in Parshat Matos that there are two tribes that kind of don't feel the need to cross the Yarden into Israel and conquer it. They've got great grazing land over there. It even is almost like being in Israel over there. It even actually has Kedushas Ha'aretz and is obligated in most of the mitzvos. It's like the shuls and Beit Midrash's in Lakewood, that my tourists once told me are a Mikdash Me'at- a little Temple that has the holiness of Israel and will eventually fly over here. So why does he have to make Aliyah? I told him that's kind of like saying why do I need to come to Israel for a Rabbi Schwartz tour, I can just read his great articles in Mishpacha instead. Yeah…not the same thing.

 

So Moshe does some splain'in to them. See, Eretz Yisrael isn't just about having a good comfortable, safe Jewish place to live, where goyim won't bother you. I didn't bring you here, and Hashem didn't take you out of Egypt or choose you, just cause He loves you and wants to give you a nice new house. Rather, He brought you here because He needs you to do a job.

 

"Will your brothers go to war and you just sit here".

 

Hashem brought you here for a mission, Moshe tells them. It's to go to war. It's to join the army. It's to kill every single man, woman and baby in the land. Listen, if some of them want to make peace with you and are willing to be your servants, throw out all other alternate form of worship, and serve Hashem as non-citizens of this country on an Israeli Visa then that's fine too. But everyone else has to either leave or be dead. So what in the wild world, he turns to them and says, are you guys thinking. What are you spies or something, that are trying to weaken the people and sell them short on an idea of what our job here is all about?

 

That my friends is the vision. If you follow that theme throughout Matos, throughout Moshe's discussion with them. Throughout his repeated command to our nation, this is the message he keeps sending us. Come to the land, destroy all alternative forms of worship. Inherit it. Throw them out. Kill them. Destroy them. If not you have no real right to come here. You will lose it. They will be thorns in your sides and beams in your eyes. They will constantly attack you, kill you, persecute you, pogrom you, intifada you and October 7th you. And the worst part, Hashem says… I will do to you what I thought to do to them. The Orach Chayim Ha'Kadosh explains why this is. Why Hashem would tell us as the Rashbam says, that just as I meant for them to be all killed and no "lo sechayeh kol neshoma"- so I will do that to you.

 

What he says is so powerful and so unbelievable but yet so logical. What Hashem is basically telling us, is that I had a plan when I brought you here. You have a job to do. Do you know what that job is? It's not to build yeshivos in Israel. It's not to even settle the land and make nice new communities and hill tops. It's not to study Torah. It's not to have chesed organizations. It's not to have a million minyanim and shuls on one block. It's not for Teshuva organizations or kiruv organizations. Don't get me wrong, those are all great and even holy things. But it's not why He brought us here. Because if you see it that way, then guess what? You can stay in America and do most of that too. You can stay me'eiver la'yarden and do that also in the Golan Heights. And you would be right not to long so much for the Bais Ha'Mikdash. After-all you got the same thing there.

 

Rather, the reason He brought us here is because He wants a goy free country. He wants a lighthouse built that will shine up to the rest of the world and so that His Shechina will shine from there and the world will come close to Hashem and have a house to pray and worship and become close to Him from. That's the purpose of the world. That's why He created the entire world. That's what He chose and hired us to do. As long as that's not happening, that we're not doing what He asked of us, then everything else is pretty much meaningless. Then He doesn't need us. Then we're not really much better than the Arabs that were here before we got here. They didn't build Him his house and neither are we. So what does He need us for?

 

Perhaps a parable can make this even clearer to you. It can give you the glasses you need to see what I'm trying to show you. What Moshe was trying to show them. What Hashem wants us to do, what He needs us to get so that we can finally cross that Yarden. So, as Rashi and Chazal tell us, He doesn't have to drown us in the waves.

 

See, there's the King once his name is Donald Schwartzowitz. He has a dream his whole life to one day have a beautiful nice retirement home on a nice farm in the Upper Galile. He really doesn't need anything too fancy. He wants a nice view, a beautiful garden that his wife can plant her vegetables in that he personally is not really interested in eating as he had a stomach surgery and tries only to eat dead warm blooded animals in a bun or on a grill or some good danishes and non-healthy but tasty food. But it keeps her busy and happy and that makes him happy. He wants a nice study. Maybe a Jacuzzi to lookout to the yam and see the sunset as he drinks a beer. And of course a nice big study with a comfortable chair and room for all his sefarim, where he can learn, write his books and E-Mails and even compose music. That's the dream.

 

Now Schwartzowitz hasn't been idle. He's been saving for years. He's been putting away money. He's scrimped and saved. He's been looking for the right time and place and he finally found it. There's only one problem. The dream lot that he found and actually even bought for this retirement palace of his, was currently being occupied by a group of homeless drug addicted squatters that don't want to leave. So what do you do? Schwarztowitz is a smart guy, he hires the best and most qualified team of professionals for the job. The team is made up of good security people that will clean the place out of all the riffraff. Will take the lot and build it up. That get his specific design. That knows what type of view he wants. That understand what he needs for his wife. What the kitchen should look like. The bedroom and of course most importantly his study and jacuzzi. He gives them all the details and the plans and tells them that they've got a year or two to finish the project. He has to marry off his beautiful daughter Elka first, he's got another kid Tully that needs to get set up. So they have a year or two, and then it should be ready. The dream can come true.

 

Two years later, he got a call from the foreman that they were almost ready. They were at the finishing stages and if the King wanted to move in early, he was welcome to come check it out. As all it really needed was His last details and presence. For Casa Di'Schwartzowitz was about open for business. Very excited the King jumped on His helicopter and flew right over and much to his shock and consternation nothing changed. The place still has homeless people. Drugs. There's even a large noisy market place in what was meant to be his wife's garden and a dance club across the street blocking his view. When in shock he turns to the guy in charge of the job and asked what's going on. The guy looked at him like a good Israeli does and told him that he doesn't understand, it's just what the King wanted.

 

See, they decided instead to give the King a much better deal, then he even wanted. Instead of in Israel they decided it makes more sense to find him a place in Pakistan. It's a lot nicer there. Also its far better for the King do have neighbors that will be there to help you out. So we actually built you a place in a multi-family dwelling. That way if you ever need butter you can borrow it from a neighbor. It's also good to have diversity there so we made it into a building that has people of all ages and backgrounds there. Puerto Ricans, Italians, Blacks, Chareidim,noisy teenagers and wild kids. It will be nice to have everyone there together.

 

 As well, they figured the study thing would be too hard on his eyes, so they decided that an arcade with mahh jong tables would be much better. As well the garden for the wife thing would probably be too much after a while, so instead, they built her a sewing room and she could order her fruits on Amazon Prime instead. Jacuzzis also aren't that great, so instead they built him a sauna. It's much better for your skin. Isn't the King happy. We did just what you wanted.

 

Do you see the problem here? Hashem doesn't want Batei Midrash in Lakewood. He doesn't want Adirei Torah in Pakistan. He doesn't want a million shuls in Meah Shearim. He's clear about what His vision is. He wants ONE shul. It's called the Bais Ha'Mikdash. He want's no goyim or noisy neighbors. He wants a view of the heavens unobstructed. He wants a light that will shine out there to the world. To be the sun of the world. He want's peace and harmony from the one nation that He hired and repeatedly told to have that vision and carry it out. To inherit it for Him. To see it with Him. To live together with Him. That's the vision. That's our right arm. That's what we're missing. That's what we need to see.

 

The Book of Bamidbar ends with this vision. It concludes with the unlikely daughters of Tlzafchad that seemed to get this, that want to make this happen and will give up everything for it. It ends with Moshe knowing that Reuvein and Gad don't get this. They have their own vision. Moshe thus charges them with the job of fighting for the land. Being the first. Because when you fight for something, you realize how important it is to. What the goal is. What your life is really about. As well he places with them, not just half of the tribe of Menashe, that descendant of Yosef, that longed for Israel and that understood what the King really wants, but as well cities of the tribe of Levi. The ones that fight for Hashem, that bring us close to Him. That will remind us where we need to go and what we're all about.

 

The book concludes with cities of refuge. Every place in Israel we need to have these cities where those that have perhaps taken lives negligently, can run to. It seems like such a strange small detailed ending but in fact it is everything. Because the reason the Temple isn't built is because we all take our lives negligently. We don't value what we and each Jew is meant to be doing. We don't appreciate what we were hired for. So we kill by mistake. Ourselves and others. So we need to have a place to remind us of what we're here for. A city who is more than any other looking towards the Bais Ha'Mikdash everyday and asking about the Kohen Gadol, who is worrying about them. Because he understands that his life is dependent on theirs and theirs on his. The redemption will come when we get that. That is what a country redeemed will look like. It's when Eretz Yisrael will be a place that the whole world will turn to. That can and should happen this week. We just need to clean those Geula glasses and know what we were hired and crying for. What the King is waiting for us to do. Because the time has come for Him to finally settle down.

 

 Have a Shabbos Chazak and a Chodesh Av that not only consoles us but uplifts us

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 


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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" Az men vil nisht alt vern, zol men zich yungerheyt oyfhengen "- If you don't want to grow old, hang yourself when you're young.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

7. The name of the events, that occurred following a dispute over Jewish prayer at the Western Wall, during the British mandate was______ 

For what purpose did the Great Mosque building in Ramla serve before becoming a mosque?

A. Crusader church

B. Synagogue

C. Caravanserai

D. Government building


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/achainuRabbi Schwartz Acapella composition season, I composed this Acheinu two years ago during the war when I got sick of the same old one again and again. Dovid Lowy Arrrangements and Vocals of course… Let me know what you think


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCKr6CfG9OI&list=RDfCKr6CfG9OI&start_radio=1 - Ani Maamin Nice Acapella


 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgtURjWGh0k&list=RDQgtURjWGh0k&start_radio=1 -  Mendy Worch TYH Never Alone Acapella


https://www.youtube.com/shorts/f9bL9z5MN5k     – Meeting the worst Jew in the world- Shlomo Carlebach


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpkhVtPCWFo&list=RDhpkhVtPCWFo&start_radio=1 – And here's a great Acapella Holy Playlist


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


Teshuva Movement -345 BC- I think that one of the things that we really need to change our mindset about in this season is what Geula might look like. There's this image of everyone doing teshuva and coming back on wings of eagles and shofars and donkeys. It's a biblical dreamlike view that makes it hard to imagine and therefore in many ways justifies our continued comfortable existence in Galus. If Hashem wants us back He'll call us and make miracles. Until then we'll stay here and daven and sit on the floor Tisha Ba'Av and mourn our Temple. That's not what happened though in the past or will in future, as most of the meforshim explain.

 

In the times of Ezra upon his returns we are told that most Jews were still intermarried, sinning, weren't observant. Ezra perhaps was shocked. He thought the Temple would be built and everything would be fine and it wasn't. A few months later he realized that even the new Olim he brought back from Bavel with him, not only weren't lifting up the rest of the nation, but were in fact going off the derech themselves. Intermarrying and sinning just like those non-religious Jews that had remained in Israel had become. See, making Aliyah, can make you not frum too… back then as well.

 

So what did he do about it? Did he pack up his bags and head back to Bavel Park? To the Lake? Nope. Did he make demonstrations? Did he make asifas? No… at least not right away… You know what he did? Probably the only thing that works… He sat and cried. He cried and fasted for the sins of our people. He was broken hearted. He wasn't angry. He was just so forlorn. So pained. He couldn't stop crying. He was crying over the shame of Hashem, of the Holy Land, of the opportunity that was being squandered. And his heartfelt tears reached the people.

 

Shechanya ben Yechiel comes over to him and tells him that he wants to repent. He wants to come home. He sees the love that Ezra has for him and the Jewish people. He wants to divorce his non-Jewish wife and wants to do teshuva. With him others join. The nation is called together. They all want to return. It will take time. It's not a one-day event. It's a job. It's cleansing. It's divorcing. It's figuring out who's Jewish and who's not. It's a national project. It becomes The National project. That's geula. That's the return. That's what we need today. A love for one another, a true concern for klal Yisrael. Not anger, not demonstrations and certainly not waiting on the sidelines or going back. If we see that today… Mashiach would coming knocking. The key is in our hands. We just need to open up our hearts.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE RETIREMENT JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Retirement is the only job where doing nothing is the goal.

Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay.

Promoted from Senior Manager to Senior Napper.

I hope you like Saturdays, because every day just became Saturday!"

 

Q: What do you call someone who is happy on Mondays?

A: Retired

 

Arthur is 75 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn’t see where it went.”

His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try.”

“That’s no good,” sighs Arthur, “your brother is 85. He can’t help.”

“He may be 85,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law and says, “Did you see the ball?”

“Of course I did!” Answers the brother-in-law. “I have perfect eyesight.”

“Where did it go?” Arthur asks.

“I don’t remember.”

 

Q: How many days are in a retiree's week?

A: Six Saturdays and one Sunday.

 

Retirement is the world’s longest coffee break.

Goodbye tension, hello pension

My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we’re playing the lottery 3-5 times per week.

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney

The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement.

two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really! Like a newborn baby?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

 

I love doing stand up comedy at the retirement homes. And I know I'm really good because they laugh at the same jokes every week

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me – they were cramming for their finals.

You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.

When is a retiree’s bedtime? Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

How many retirees to change a light bulb? Only one, but it might take all day.

The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

An elderly man decided it was time to move on. He packed his stuff and moved into a retirement home.On his first day there, as he was unpacking his stuff into his room, he could help but notice that the woman in the room across the hall was staring at him. He thought it was odd but decided not to let it bother him. Later that night, he went to the cafeteria to get dinner. He sat down at his table and, lo and behold, the woman from the hallway was sitting at the table next to him! There was no food on her table. She just sat there staring at him with fixed eyes. The man grew increasingly annoyed but didn't say anything.

After a scrumptious meal, he went to the lunge to play nightly bingo. He was enjoying the game until he noticed the woman again, staring at him. He had had enough.

He went up to her and said, "Ma'am, I couldn't help noticing that you have been staring at me ever since I arrived. Could you please stop, it is a bit bothersome."

 

She replied, "I am sorry, it is just that you look so much like my third husband!"

 

The man felt bad. "I'm sorry. If you don't mind me asking, how many husbands have you had?"

 

"Two." Was the woman's reply.

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The answer to this week's question is A– So I got this one almost fully right. I just messed up the first part a bit. I wasn't sure about the Davening thing. I remembered a story about smuggling in the Shofar to the Kotel. I called it the shofar riots. I just made that up. The correct answer though was it was the 1929 pogroms. I thought that was because of the call that the Arabs made as a result of them claiming we were trying to take the temple mount. Which it was. However the truth it that it really started a year beforehand with the Jews putting up a mechitza for Yom Kippur services by the Wall. That escalated into decrees against that type of service by the Kotel. And eventually in August of 29' led to the mass riots. What I find fascinating is how much the beginning of our history and these riots started with a push from these liberal left wing Zionists to redeem the wall and by putting up a mechitza on Yom Kippur there. And today the October 7th starts when they take down the Mechitza in Tel Aviv on Yom Kippur. There's a lot to digest there. The second part I got correct though which is that it was a Crusader Church. I don't tour Ramle much but I remember the Gothic archways there in the Mosque and it being a church.  So I go this one half right and the test continues with Rabbi Schwartz having 5 points and the MOT having 2 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

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