Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
November
14th 2014 -Volume
5, Issue 4 -7th of Cheshvan 5775
Parshat Chayei Sarah
Dating Habits of the
Yeshiva World
One of the most
interesting things about young “yeshiva world” daters is their choice of venue
for that first “meet”. I remember one of my sister’s friends sharing her
experience with her co-worker who was fascinated by our dating habits. You know
the usual questions. Did you have a match maker? (Yes, generally one who is a
good friend, not the fiddler on the roof like yenta), do you really not touch
or kiss (nope and can barely fathom how and why people who first meet do!). Do
you go out to eat? (Not usually on the first couple of dates, too shy to eat in
front of each other, so why pay when you can’t enjoy it). So where do you
go? “Oh, to a hotel” she so innocently responded.
Well you can imagine the
reaction from her not so innocent interrogator. Very quickly her friend
clarified that the typical date took place in a nice Hotel lounge
(Marriot Marquis, my personal favorite) where drinks are shared and the evening
is spent schmoozing and getting to know one another. I know this process of
dating probably sounds so “old worldly” to many of you and foreign to the
modern- movie- dinner –dance- peck on the cheek (being kind) daters. Yet the
process of courtship in yeshiva circles can arguably be one of the primary
reasons behind why the marriages that follow have one of the highest
satisfaction rates and the lowest divorce rates in the modern world. With its
traditions and outlook dating back to biblical times it is perhaps those
secrets that assist in the process of successfully finding the Bashert; the
true soul mate.
This week’s Parsha of Chayei
Sarah introduces us to the first Biblical Jewish match making process. The
Talmud points out that there are more verses in the Torah describing Eliezer, the
servant/matchmaker of Avraham’s process in finding a spouse for Yitzchak than
most other significant Mitzvot and story lines in the Torah. In fact the Torah
describes the dating habits of our forefather Yaakov and our teacher Moshe as
well. One common theme they all shared was their choice of locale for their
first date. No it wasn’t a hotel lounge or a movie rather it was a seemingly
simple meeting at the local well. This seemingly innocuous detail is however
noted by the Medrash
as the motivation of Moshe for going to the well to find
his spouse
“He learned from the ways forefathers.
Three people found their spouses at a well: Yitzchak, Yaakov and Moshe.
Concerning Yitzchak it is written, 'And Yitzchak came from the way of the well
of Le’Chai-Roi.' Furthermore, Rivka had met Eliezer at a well. Concerning
Yaakov: 'And he saw, behold, a well in the field.' Concerning Moshe: 'And he
sat at the well.” (Medrash Shemos Rabah 1:32)
What is it that Moshe
learned about the well that motivated him to go there? And what is this
connection between wells and successfully finding your spouse?
Rav Nachman of Breslav,
that great Chasidic master, suggests a rather deep idea (excuse the pun). The
well is the symbol of water, the simplest life giving force, which draws from
the essence of creation when the world was first created and there was only
water in the world. In fact water is the first thing created from nothing
providing the raw material of all that was to come. By tapping into its power
one can obtain the ability to experience pure unadulterated belief. It is for
this reason that when one encounters a sense of Tumah; impurity related to an
absence of life force one is mandated to go to a Mikvah a ritual bath, whose
water comes from an unadulterated source. It is interesting to note that the
word in Hebrew the word for well is Be’er which is also the word for
clarity. Once again the idea being that to obtain absolute clarity in anything
one must go back to the life giving source of all that exists.
It is perhaps that
motivation that guided Moshe, Yaakov and Eliezer on their search for the spouse
that would be their partner in the most incredible task of their lives; the
building of the Jewish family. Rather than going to the local singles club or
the ancient equivalent of J-Date they recognized that the process of finding a
fitting partner must first begin by strengthening the most important value that
would make their marriage and relationship successful. For to build the
foundation of what would be an Eternal People and family, the purity of its
essence must derive from the recognition of the Creator upon whose world we
ultimately aim to sanctify. That Be’er /well founded clarity is
what will be the ultimate guarantor of the true harmony in the building blocks
of the Jewish home.
Many in America
celebrate Thanksgiving annually. I personally am a big fan of holidays that
entail turkey and stuffing. Yet as Jews we tap into the beauty and sanctity of
thanksgiving daily to our loving Father in our heaven. Yet another beautiful
custom of married Yeshiva students (as well as many others) is that once a week
as we sit down to our Shabbat meal we turn to our wives and mothers whom we may
not have had the opportunity to express our appreciation for all week, and we
sing that beautiful composition by King Solomon, Aishet Chayil a woman
of Valor. As we read the concluding words “Beauty and charm are but false
and vain, a God fearing women is one that is praiseworthy” we echo the
millennia of our ancestors who have always known that the beauty
and vibrancy of our home has its source in that life giving force that
our spiritual partners give us. May they always be blessed with the fruits of
their achievements and may their actions praise her at their gates.
Have
a positively grand Shabbos,
Rabbi
Ephraim Schwartz
*****************************
**************
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FAVORITE QUOTE
OF THE WEEK
““If you want to meet
a princess, make yourself into a prince"-Yiddish Proverb
RABBI
SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
(answer below at end of Email)
Q. Which immigration wave was termed the
“mass immigration” (ha-aliyah hahamonit)?
A. The Fifth Aliyah
B. The Ha’apalah (illegal immigration)
C. The immigration immediately following the establishment of the
State of Israel
D. The immigration from Ethiopia
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL MIDRASH OF THE WEEK
Rabbi
Shimon Ben Elazar once said that he once met a woman that had better wits
than him. Once while he was walking down
the road he came to a well and met a girl who was filling up her pitcher with
water.
"Please
my daughter" he requested "can I have a drink?"
"Drink"
She responded "and I will
also give your donkey to drink"
I drank
and upon leaving I said to her," Thank you my daughter. You have acted
as Rivkah did to Eliezer (who upon meeting him gave water to him and his
camels)"
"But
you" she retorted "did not
behave as Eliezer did to Rivkah!"(who offered her a hand in marriage
to Yitzchak after she had done soJ)
RABBI
SCHWARTZ'S COOL YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK
Funny
and adorable Shadchan video in honor of the Torah portion of first jewish match
this week!!
*******************
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL THINGS TO DO IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
War Watching – Yeah, I know this doesn’t sound
so cool. But after spending an afternoon up in the Golan Heights and listening and
watching these Isis rebels and Syrian armed forces fighting and killing each
other literally just a few miles from where your standing, you have to ask
yourself is this really real. Over 200,000 people have been killed and 1 point something
million have been turned into refugees and the world doesn't seem to be saying
boo… the only thing that seems to concern anyone is if some guy in Jerusalem is
adding and addition on to his home or a new neighborhood his starting. Meantime
this Assad guy is using chemical weapons and you literally just hear the
artileray and machine gun fire non-stop over there…It's definitely an
experience that is a tragedy for all the innocent men women and children that
are suffering over there. But on the other hand one thanks god that both
warring sides over there that wish for the destruction of Israel are too busy
killing each other to join together and attack us. May all of our enemies kill
each other.
*******************
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S JOKES OF OF
THE WEEK
In the year 2000 Joe Lieberman ran for president, being that he
was the first potential Jew in high office he was given a lot of attention.
After a disappointing loss Joe walked into his house. “Don’t worry” said his
wife “in this house you’ll always be vice president!
************
“Mom,
Dad, sit down. I have something very important to tell you,” said Sarah, upon her return home from college
after graduation. “I met a guy who lives near the college that I
really like and we decided we are going to get married!”
“Oh
Sarah! I am so happy for you!” Gushed her Mom giving her a big hug, “I
hope you two will be really happy together! I can’t wait to meet him!”
“Tell us more about him” said her Dad,
“does he have any money?”
“Oh
Dad! Is that all you men ever think about? That was the first question he asked
me about you too!!!”
*************************************************************
Answer
is C: The "Mass Immigration" is the term used for the three
years after the establishment of the State of Israel when the population of
this fledgling country doubled from 600,000-1.2 million.WOW! we haven't gotten close
to that since that time. The first ones over which were mostly the Ashkenazic holocaust
survivors did not bad fro themselves grabbing up the homes abandoned when they
fled the country (with the intent of coming back again and killing us with the
arab legion…hashem had a different plan) The Sefardim that came afterwards from yemen and other African and Asian countries
Iraq, morocco Tunis and the like did not as good being placed in temporary
housing camps and the like…and thus began Israeli politics…
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