from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
March 27th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 23 9th of Nissan 5786
Grow Up!
There are no two words, I believe, that makes one feel so small, that gets on one's nerves, that hits you in your kishkas, more than those two words. "Grow Up!" If you really want it to sting, turn it into that rhetorical grating question. "When are you going to grow up, already?". The 'already' is very important to add on. It says that this is long overdue. It says that you're not a child any more. Not a baby. Stop acting like one. Stop whining. Stop crying. Take responsibility. Stop being a baby. Yeah… how much do we hate when someone tells us this?
The truth is it's the first insult a child gets from his or her friend or sibling when they're in the playground or living room fighting over a toy. Or from their parents from their Zaydie when they're killing each other, especially after three weeks home without school locked in a house because there's nowhere that's close or safe enough to go to, because a ballistic missile might fall on your head. You guys, in America get what I'm talking about right? Or not….
In my case it's what my grandchildren here from me. But I start early with them. Zerizin makdimin to therapy. Yeah, I telling them that when they're 2 weeks old and waking me up at night or during my Shabbos nap when my kids bring or send them over, or when they disturb my Shabbos table hour long E-Mail reading. "Stop crying", I tell that cute little noisy infant. You're not a baby. You're a big boy. Act your age. I know that they are, and that's what babies do. But still, it shouldn't be on my expense. My kids shouldn't bring them over while I need to rest. As much as I love to see them and give them candy. But I only need a few minutes with them and then I'm good. My einikel though, seemingly doesn't get what I'm telling him. He only cries louder. What a baby…
Now, what's interesting is that the reason why I think this is so a fatal insult or rebuke is because there's another great saying that sometimes follows a good line. "The truth hurts". To a large degree, I think many of us still feel like kids inside. Like we're not really adults. Like we're just wearing big boy clothing, with big boy jobs, living big boy lives. But we're still that little kid inside. The proof is that one of the biggest trends in psychology is finding that inner child. That's over course everywhere besides for in Israel where we're just trying to get people from Trauma to the day when it will only be Post Trauma Stress Disorder that everyone is suffering from. There are all types of therapy that are based around going back and dealing with all those early childhood stuff… nebach… People can't and never get over it. They're still reacting as if they were children.
But it's not only that. I think we can all relate to the various milestones in our lives when we really felt that we were meant to be entering a new stage in our lives, but we really were not there. We were just faking it. We feel that when we become Bar or Bat Mitzva. C'mon… who are we fooling. I'm not really an adult now. I'm just the same kid I was yesterday. Sure it's cool. I get to put on tefillin. I get to lead services. But, I'm just a kid pretending to be that grown up that always used to do that in Shul.
We feel that when we graduate elementary school and go to High School. Woahh… those High School kids seemed like such grownups. They could stay up. They had real work and class. They could play ball with the big kids. They could even drive. We feel that when we first driving as well. I'm not really an adult, like my parents that get to drive and go to and do important things. I'm just a kid. I'm playing at this whole driving thing. I'm not really old enough to do this, although I really want to. So I'll fake it and hope they don't notice.
Here in Israel, I'm sure they feel that way when they first go into the army. And to be honest I think we kind of look at them that way as well. They're kids. They're not soldiers. They're just wearing the uniforms. They're just carrying guns. I'm sure they feel that way as well. Soldiers are like old people that are tough and rough, that can kill. That can win. That pull off cool military exercises. Like in the movies. I'm just a kid. I like computer games and hanging out at the beach. I'm not a real soldier. American kids feel that way when they go to college or when they become those big Bais Medrash guys that they always looked up to. That seemed so mature and knowledgeable and perhaps even learned. Not the same as becoming a soldier, but for Americans it takes a lot less to make you feel like a child.
That feeling and sense really doesn't end our entire lives. The first time we wear our Talis to shul after our chasuna or imaginably for women when they cover their hair, we all feel like it's a dress-up Purim costume. When we become parents. Sitting there in the waiting room holding our new first infant. When we stand at their Bar Mitzva's, when they enter shidduchim. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was standing there? That I was in those parshas. How am I the father of a Bar Mitzva boy? How am I walking a daughter down the chupa? Isn't that for grownups? Isn't that something that old people do?
It doesn't change by the way, you young kids out there, when you become a grandfather either. You still don’t feel like you're really a zaydie. I imagine it doesn't feel that way when you become a great-grandparent either. And following that logic, I really don't think it will change on the day that we die. I'm too young die. Dying is for old people. I'm still a kid. Sure I'm a 119 years old. But still, I don't feel that way. I still feel and think like I did when I was back then… I'm not really all "growed-up".
So that's perhaps why it hurts so much when someone tells us that. Because they hit our nerve. We don't really feel we're there yet. We still feel like that kid, that's just faking it. And the fact that he/they see that, puts into question who I really am.
Well, boys and girls, welcome to Shabbos Ha'Gadol. It's the big boy Shabbos. It's the Shabbos before the redemption. Because to a large degree, we can only be redeemed if we are real. If we are who we are meant to be. If we're not dependent babies anymore. Geula is for big boys. And just as then when we first left Mitzrayim, today as well, the process of us becoming the nation of Hashem chosen to share His light with the entire world and herald in the era of His glory and peace is a job for adults. It's not something a kid could pull off. It's why the Shabbos before that redemption is called Shabbos Ha'Gadol. It's why the day that we will read about in the Haftorah of that final prophecy of Eliyahu Ha'Navi coming calls that day we are all awaiting, the Yom Ha'Gadol- the day we become adults. We become great. We've come of age. Mazel Tov.
How do we get there? How do we actually feel internally that we are adults? That we're big enough. We're old enough. The clothing, the talis, the car, the wife, the kids, the grandkids, the first job or shteller that we get are really right for us. They're not just fake things that somehow someone confused me for a real adult and gave them to. On an even deeper and real level that makes this so much more essential. How do we get to the place where we feel and understand that we really are worthy of being redeemed? That Hashem chose us for Redemption. That He chose me to really live in Eretz Yisrael. To build His Mikdash, His home. To bring Him sacrifices. To eradicate His enemies. Me. Little, old, young, me…That I'm big enough. That I'm good enough. That I'm old enough. How do I get there?
The answer is one word. It's the name of our holiday. It's where it all starts and where it will all end. The word and holiday is Pesach. We skip. We jump. We don't overthink. We just move from one place to one another and know we land exactly where we're meant to. We jump up and poof we land a few steps later. There are no steps that need to be taken to get to that spot. We just need to hurl ourselves up and boom we're there. Just like that. We do that again and again and again. And slowly we begin to grasp that we're never where we think we are in the first place. We're constantly in motion. We're constantly heading to one destination. There's nothing holding us back. We're no longer slaves to our mindset that tries to keep us stagnant. That tries to keep us back in our childhood. We're never who we were yesterday. We're exactly where we are meant to be right now. Moving to the greater tomorrow.
It's perhaps the reason why the first Mitzva that we get as a nation, that precedes this mitzva of the Korban Pesach- the skipping offering, is the mitzva we read about last week, of Ha'Chodesh Ha'zeh. That we're the one that determine time. We establish the months. We need to do it. Any two Jews can do it. All they have to do it is bear witness to a new moon. To a molad. To a birth of a new day. A new month. A new start. They need to see that and say that I as well am new. I'm not a month older. I'm a month newer. I'm born today. I was put here today. I established this month. Hashem chose me to establish this month. I skipped over everything that I thought I was before hand. Because that's old. That's me thinking I'm on the ground. That's not realizing that I'm skipping through the air.
The yesterday me. The 190 years of slavery in Egypt me, couldn't take their sheep, their idolatry, their values and roast them whole and put that blood on my doorpost. It's just so politically non-correct. What will the world say. I'm not old enough to drive yet. To do that. To be a father. To be a leader. To be redeemed. To build a Bais Ha'Mikdash. I'm still a kid. I still live here in Egypt. I've built a house here. I'm subject to their laws and rules. I'm not really grown up yet enough to realize and take that leap. That talis, sheitel, shtreimel are so not me…
So Hashem made the first move and gave us that marching order. He said that He was going to be
Pasach al batei Yisrael- He was going to skip over those houses of Israel.
He was going to skip over all of those brick and mortar fortified conceptions that we have and that we thought we couldn't leave; those houses we built. And He was going to hold us as we leaped together to our redemption. But we needed to take the first steps. We need to first take that goat and go through the motion of being an adult. Of being Bar Mitzva. Of preparing our drasha, our parsha, our chupa. We needed to grow up.
The parsha we read this Shabbos, Parshat Tzav contains in the conclusion of the mitzvos of the sacrifices and the miluim- the inauguration of the Aharon and his sons into the service of the Mishkan; that house of Hashem where the Shechina would rest. There are quite a few midrashim that tell us how Aharon was nervous whether he was worthy of the task. After-all he was the one that made the golden calf. That's probably a lot worse than anything any of us have done. As well even Moshe back in Shemos when Hashem first appeared to him, didn't feel he was up to the job. It's one story. It's not us. It's always. The beginning of redemption, the building of the Bais Ha'Mikdash it all starts with this sense of inadequacy. Yet, Hashem told Moshe, the sign will be that the nation will serve Me on this mountain. This week's parsha finally brings us to that day.
Do you know how it happens? Moshe picks up Aharon. He picks up his sons and he waves them all in the air. Up, up, down, down, right left and all around. He's flying. He's not stuck on the ground. He skipped. Yesterday was yesterday, but now he's in a new place. He's in the house of Hashem. The Shechina is here. We're all grown up.
Do you know how Hashem brings us to the place that we realize we're all grown up? He spends a year with us in Mitzrayim showing us that everything we thought about the world isn't the way we thought it was. He preforms miracles. He gives us signs.
Water turns to blood. Air turns to Corona and plague. Hail comes down from heaven like ballistic miracles and it doesn't land on us. Their first-borns will be killed. We see miracle after miracle preformed for us, despite the fact that when we looked at ourselves all we saw were slaves. That we were arum v'erya- totally naked of any mitzvos. That we had drunk the Egyptian Kool-Aide. That we didn't even chap that for the last 190 years all we were busy doing was building Lego pyramids for them. Children's toys, while the house of Hashem. Making a real big boy house for the Shechina to reside and that will shine it out to the rest of the world from was not something we felt we could ever do. Because we're just kids. All we could do is make really nice Lego houses and batei medrash in galus. All we could do is create a Democratic country where all religions could worship freely in Israel.
We can't do more than that. We can't really claim our role. Because they're the adults. And we're just children. Totty Trump doesn't let. Mommy United Nations might get upset. We can't shecht their supposedly western moral and ethical values and put the blood of the enemies and the destruction of their idolatrous mosques, churches and temples on our doorposts. Because we're still connected to them. We worship them still. We haven't done the avoda of Shabbos Ha'Gadol, of mishchu – remove yourself from them and tied it to our bed. We haven't taken the leap of Pesach. The one skip to freedom that we just don't feel old enough to take.
But that changed that Shabbos Ha'Gadol. We woke up. We for the first time so ourselves as Hashem sees us. Great. Of age. He gave us our license and car. He handed us the keys and the wheel. He told us to drive. To take Him home. He even closed His eyes a bit and made a phone call or two, to show us how confident He is in us. He let us fly the plane. He let us drop the bombs. But He gave us one instruction. Don't stop until we get home. I've driven enough already. It's your turn, He tells us. There's no need to ask anyone for directions along the way. The car is already pre-programmed. It's in Waze. It's on auto-drive to only one destination. Just don’t take your hands off the wheel. Because we've both been waiting long enough for this day. It's time to go home.
Have an enormously huge great Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
" Az men vil nit alt vern, zol men zich yungerheyt oyfhengen" – If you don't want to grow old, hang yourself when you're young.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/hinei-lo-yanum-israel – My beautiful composition Hinei Lo Yanum- we need not fear. Hashem's not sleeping Dovid Lowy amazing arangements
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vehi-shemada - The most powerful Vehi She'amda since Shwekeys. Listen closely and hear the generations of Vehi She'amda songs in the second harmony low part. Whadda an arrangement Dovid Lowy- always taking my songs and making them gold!
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/melech-rachamon - And here's my only song with me giving an introduction. The longing for the Bais Hamikdash Melech Rachaman… Its much better than SY's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwv8kuYhFn8&t=383s – If you've got time and want to listen something truly glorious. The Yigal Calek family did an amazing concert here with all the greats!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV-WaeC93cY – Miami's latest release Hashiveynu… they're back!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZEpGrrYrRU – It's not Pesach without a new Maccabeats acapella release- Break Free
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
26. The agricultural export sector for which the city of Jaffa became famous from the end of the 19th century is _____
Which of the following statements about the electricity sector in Israel is correct?
A. Israel's electricity sector is based on nuclear energy
B. Israel still uses coal to generate electricity
C. Israel holds a European record for using wind energy to generate electricity
D. Electricity production in Israel is based mainly on solar energy
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
The Party- 365 BC- In the third year of the reign of Achashveirosh he decided it was time to make a party. It was going to be a great party. I don't think anyone ever made a party this great before. I don't think anyone knows how to make a party as great as he does. In fact, it's probably going to be the greatest party of all time. Make Parties Great Again. Not like those Democrats who wouldn't know a party if it hit them in the face. Now read that all again in a Trump accent. Yeah. He's our Achashveirosh.
Why the third year of his reign. Because first of all, like all small big kings that feel the need to prove themselves and out do everyone else, that's when his predecessor Belshatzar, who according to some was his father-in-law as discussed last week; the father of Vashti, made his party. Not that it faired well for him. And even more then the need a king like that has to outdo the previous king, but even more so, to show his wife who likes to put him down, that he's better than her father.
Yet, the other important and perhaps most significant reason for the party, our sages tell us, was because according to is calculations, the 70-year Jews in exile prophecy of us returning and building the Temple was now up. There was no Temple. It wasn't going to happen. And thus it was time to celebrate. Yet, the irony was that just as his father-in-law made a mistake in the math, Achashveirosh did as well.
What was their mistakes? See, the question really is all about from when do you start counting. Belshatzar's cheshbon began from when Nevuchadnezzar first conquered Assyria and began the exile of the Chareish and Masger, the king Yehoyachin and scholars of Israel, that were sent down and imprisoned in Bavel.
Sure, there were still Jews in living in Israel, but they didn't count. Once there is no king anymore and no great Rabbis. That's galus. That's when it starts. It's only the Rabbis that really count. Stam Jews living in Israel without Rabbinic leadership is not a nation redeemed. It's a nation in exile even though they're still living in the Holy Land and even if they have the Bais Hamikdash still. There's something deep about that misconception of Belshatzar to ponder. Because he was wrong. That's not exile. That's still a nation redeemed.
Now that exile was about 7-8 years before the actual destruction according to his calculations. And thus if one counts the 5 years of Darius and Cyrus that followed and add another 3 years of his own reign. It comes out that 71st year begins in his third year of reign. Now he wasn't sure if the count begins according to count of the kings of Yehuda which is Nissan or according to the kings of the nations of the world which is in Tishrei. So he began his party for the first 6 months 180 days, from Tishrei on the anniversary of the beginning of his reign. But it was only on Rosh Chodesh Nissan when the reign and count from the Jewish Kings new months start that he began the "real party" utilizing the vessels of the Temple.
I guess, now you understand why the Jews all came. It was the first Pesach hotel. Glatt Kosher le'mehadrin! They didn't have to "make Pesach" that year. Achashveirosh was taking care of it all for them!
Now his mistake about the cheshbon, was the confusing thing about the reigns of Darius and Cyrus. See they, didn't complete their years of ruling. Darius wasn't even a full year. So therefore there was an overlap of their year. As well, Achashveirosh's first year shared he last year of Cyrus's. So basically he was off by two years. See, what happens when you try to calculate the end-game. Hashem has His own math. Don't try to figure it out. We're always wrong. We were wrong about how long we needed to be in Egypt for. How long Moshe's 40 days going up to get the Torah was. How long the 70 years of exile would be. And today as well when this final thing will be over already. Hashem's math is different than ours. And thus our Rabbis always teach us that someone that tries to figure it out is wasting their time. Another great message for today.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE IRAN WAR JOKES OF THE WEEK
I tried putting my phone on airplane flight mode, but it told me that option is no longer available in my area…
Life in Israel-
"Is that chametz on the floor?"
"No, it's just missile shrapnel"
"Oh Baruch Hashem.."
Wartime Israel epiphany. Telling someone a new parent to sleep when their baby sleeps, is about as real as saying take a nap in between sirens.
T-Shirt I bought last week. I survived Missiles in Israel Osher Ad Pesach shopping.
Siren songs-
Things that sound like sirens. Ambulances. Motorcycles. Pigeons, gusts of wind, creaky doors, Everything sounds like sirens…
Israelite Home Front Command in Egypt
Biological threat of the Ten Plagues
A widespread biological event is affecting the land of Egypt. Manifesting itself as multiple hazardous events (plagues)
INSTRUCTIONS FOR HOUSEHOLDS
All guidelines remain in force until further notice.
Blood- Water Pollution
Avoid Nile water- store clean water for use
Frogs- amphibian Invasion
Seal doorways and remain vigilant at night
Lice- Parasitic Infestation
Wash thoroughly and wear clean garments
Flies-Insect Swarm
Avoid all exposed areas cover well all food and drinks
Livestock Disease
Keep livestock sheltered and healthy
Boils- Contagious Sores
Burn contaminated rags, treat sores properly
Hail-Destructive Storm
Seek shelter indoors until storm passes
Locusts- Consuming Swarm
Seal your home, collect and burn all leftover locust.
Darkness- Foul Darkness
Keep lamps lit, stay indoors during darkness
Death of Firstborns- LETHAL EVENT
Immediate life-threatening risk,
Occurs during designated night period
Requires full compliance with protective instructions
REMEMBER FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS SAVES LIVES…
If the Iranians really wanted to mess with us they wouldn't use explosives. They would fill their missiles with bread crumbs. Weaponized Chametz
The War Time Shower Prayer
With this warm shower, may no rocket pay a call
And during a siren may no siren sound at all
With soap on our hands, may we make no frantic dash
Nor run to the shelter mid-suds and mid-splash
And while we are dripping and mid-towel drying
Maye we not be sent running and frantically flying
Mae we safely emerge from this swift hygiene run,
Completely rinsed off and not merely half-done
May a miracle help us catch a lucky break
And let us wash our hair for heaven's sake!
There have been ten rocket attacks today. If we hit 13 we'll have to wish each other Mazel Tov on our bomb-mitzva
Anyone mind taking a small package for me from our textiles factory in Dimona to Tehran.
I got the feeling this morning that the mother of some Iranian is cleaning up her machsan/storage unit and found it full of chametz missiles and she's just throwing them away in panic.
You know we're at war, when I got more messages on my phone today from Homefront Command then from Kupat Ha'ir.
Today at 2:00 AM switch your clocks to whatever time you want. It's really not relevant to most of us anymore anyways.
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The answer to this week's question is B– Ok part A was an easy giveaway for anyone that's Jewish. We all know about Jaffa oranges, although almost none are grown in Jaffa itself which is a suburb of Tel Aviv. The second part was hard though. Ok, I knew it wasn't nuclear. We have that. But we’re saving that for Iran. It's in our "textiles" factory in Dimona… Now I knew that we pretty much are phasing out coal. There's only one chimney left in Hadera. But wasn't sure if it was being used for electricity. I figured it wasn't wind energy. Which we do a lot of. But we're not in Europe. And as well certainly not the highest in the area over those other greener countries. Solar had me stumped though. I went with that, and I was wrong. In fact although every house has one and we've got solar farms all over. It's only about 17% in fact. 70-80% comes from natural gas. The correct answer was that one stinking chimney which is actually still 10%.
So we're back to half right and the new score of Rabbi Schwartz having a 18.5 points and the MOT having 7.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.
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