Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
August 28th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 43 15th of Elul 5785
Parshat Ki Tavo
Deep Dive
Click here below for print edition
(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Ki Tavo 2026 )
The poor child was crying. He was sad. He didn't want to even eat anything and they were nervous as Yom Kippur was coming. It was clear he had undergone serious trauma. But from what? It turns out it was this week's Torah reading. The reading that Ezra established that we read each year right before Rosh Hashana. Meaning even back in the day when they would only finish the Torah reading every three years, this week every year they would pause and read the Tochacha- words of rebuke, or terrifying curses Moshe tells us about if we don't follow the mitzvos. So prepare your kid for the Torah reading-especially the verses about how hungry parents will feast on them mercilessly. Yeah… that might take some therapy.
Now this wasn't just a regular child. The boy in the story was none other than the Mittler Lubavitcher Rebbe Reb Dov Ber. This was seemingly not the first time he had heard this Torah reading and so the Chasidim were a bit confused as to what set him off this particular year. His response though gives us a whole new perspective on life, Rosh Hashana and my tourists and adventures last week and an outlook that can help us make it through our High Holidays.
It seems that year, was the first time that young Dov Ber heard the Torah reading from someone other than his father who had leined. That's when it hit him. Because as he explained to the Chasidim.
"When my Totte read the Torah- I never heard curses, I only heard blessings".
The words were the same words. But when Totty said them, when Totty was reading the Torah, they didn't sound like curses. They were all really blessings. He read them differently. I heard them differently. He saw the essence of what they really were. He didn't hear anything scary.
That's the story. What does it mean? There's an incredible Pri Ha'aretz of The Rebbe of Vitebsk that explains the reason why the Talmud says we should read these curses now. The Talmud tells us
"Tichle Shana V'Kiloleseha- the year should end as should it's curse
Tachel shana u'birchoseha- the year should (then) begin with it's blessings.
Simply put it seems to say that by saying, reading and hearing all of these curses we should then be done with them all. Perhaps even the reading of them alone could be an atonement and a fulfillment of them. Perhaps their reading will inspire us to do teshuva and be done with them. And then we can move on with a dip-the-apple-in-honey sweet new year.
The Vitebsker reads it a bit differently. He suggests that the word 'tichleh' doesn't just mean end it means more accurately- "bring to its fulfillment" as we find by Rus and by Yibum. A 'kallah' is a daughter-in-law who is the one who brings to fulfillment the birth of a son and the bringing forward the next generation. As well he writes that the word "shana", doesn't just mean "year", but it means repetition, as we say in Shema V'shinantam li'vanecha- you should teach repeatedly to your children. What Chazal are saying is that the repetition of curse should reach its conclusion and it's purpose, and then the repetition of blessing can once again begin. Whewww… sounds deep- as his stuff usually does and is. But let's put it into a good two-part Rabbi Schwartz cool tour guiding story for you and see if we can crunch it all together for us today.
So, my i-phone 14 pro max that I status all the time from and take all of my tourist pictures and videos with and climb under waterfalls with and pretty much rules most of my life was giving me problems. The battery wasn't holding out long. It was freezing up. It was time to get it fixed. That's what Apple Care is for. Yet, in Israel they really don't have that so well here, so you've got to take it into to the one store- which it seems is a secret where it is and when it's open, because the first three stores I hit kept sending me around to other ones. And then it takes a good few weeks until they send you a new one. Now I can't afford to wait a few weeks phonelessly. My status watchers would rebel and block streets in Jerusalem and Lakewood in protests if that happen, forget about all the Torah and Israel inspiration the world would be missing out on. Especially if a war broke out, I mean how would Bibi and Trump know what to do?
So I needed to transfer all my information to another phone. The problem was my daughter Elka- now starting to hear shidduchim hint hint- just gave up her smart phone because she's very frum, but her phone didn't have enough memory. But… as I was checking my Apple Care I realized that I had a phone sitting in my drawer that was broken that still had a warranty on it as well, that I had been paying for. Cool! So I brought in that phone and they said they would send me a new one, which once I received I figured I would transfer my phone to and then replace as well.
It took em about a few weeks, but they called me last week Wednesday and told me that my phone was ready. I was excited because now I could finally get my phone fixed and told them I would pick it up as soon as I had a chance in the next few days. What happened next? Well, Hashem had different plans. See, my tourists were joining me for some fun rafting down the Jordan when cute little Simcha who I was trying to push back into the raft kicked my phone off it's necklace and poof it was gone. Empty necklace and panic overtook me. We all jumped in and tried diving. I said some quick prayers and for about twenty minutes we couldn't find a thing. I was about to give up hope. I offered one last quick prayer before my last dive and whadaya know? I couldn't believe it. I felt in my hand a plastic phone case with an I-Phone! Wheee…!! I jumped up. I found it. Everyone cheered. It was a miracle. Except…
When I looked at the phone case in my hand, I saw a small I-phone 8 with Moshe Malkas expired credit card from 2023 in it. Not my phone. Prank. Psych. I just pictured Hashem and His heavenly angels all rolling their Divine anthropomorphic heads off. Gotcha Schwartz! Ha ha…. I wish Hashem had better things to do besides prank me like this all the time.
But the truth is I laughed as well. It didn't bother me that much, because Hashem had sent me the cure before the disease. My replacement phone was sitting in the Apple Shop in Haifa and two hours afterwards I already had the replacement in my hand. It was a cute funny story. I now had some material for a Shabbos drasha and an unsponsored E-Mail (hint hint). But that's just part I. It was a lesson of how Hashem provides the remedy before He hits you up. How Totty doesn't really do anything too bad to you…
Part Two is better though. See a few days later I was with different tourists. This time we were water hiking down some delicious springs. Once again, I didn't listen to my mother or my wife and still took my phone with me in new waterproof phone necklace case bag. I don't even know why they even still bother trying to tell me stuff anymore. You'd think 50 years or so they'd learn its really a waste of breath. This time though my phone was fine. Nothing happened. My glasses on the other hand…. Well, there was this natural rocky water slide that I couldn't resist and so I had to show my tourists how to do it and how safe it was, so I slid down them with a big whishhh… I popped up on the bottom. My glasses though… not so much.
Once again, de ja vu takes over and I start diving frantically for my glasses. They all join. The adventure is on. I'm saying my prayers. I'm promising Reb Meir some money. Reb Shayala, Reb Shimon, the Baal… whoever wants to help me out here. I don't have a spare pair. And then wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden, boom! I feel them. I lunge down scoop them up come flying out of the water waving them and cheering "I got them!!". Except guess what? They weren't mine. They were someone else's sunglasses that also looked like they were there for a few years. I heard the angels in heaven laughing again… Gotcha again… hahaha Schwartz… They really have to get a life. Like there's a war going on. There are crises. People in Lakewood can't get into schools, and their bus fares are going up… What's this obsession with Schwartz…?
But I smile. I laugh. It is funny. Whatever you want Totty. I don't hear curses. I only hear blessings. I'm yours have Your fun. And then I dive back down and whadaya know. Mamash the next dive, my glasses come up. I had them back. The curse wasn't a curse. It was just getting me to see the world differently. It was just for me realize Hashem is my Totty. He's up there. He's looking at me. He's playing with me. I just had to dive down deep into that reservoir of faith and find Him. Love Him. Accept Him. Bless Him. And the world is a much more beautiful place to look at.
Do you know what tichle shana v'killiloseha means? That the curses should find the end to their repetition? The Pri Ha'aretz tells us that everything from Hashem is blessing. He created a perfect world, yet from the beginning of time when we ate from that wrong tree and listened to the snake back in the Garden, we introduced curses that distance us from Hashem that are meant to direct us to Him back again. Our phones fell into the river. Our glasses did too. We're busy on them all the time and we're not seeing the world and Totty calling us home. So He brings curses. He chucks them in the river and makes us dive again and again. Shana acharey shana. Dive in and find Him. Pray to Him. Realize that He's not on your phone. He's not what you see out of your again and again world as it is glasses. He's deep in the river of life. Close your eyes and feel for Him.
Now sometimes while we're diving for Him, we pick up something that we think is our phone. We think its our connection to Him. But it's not. I mean, it is Him, but it's not really our message our tikkun. It's someone else's. It's not the right phone. Other times we settle for the replacement phone He prepared for us. But it's also not really seeing how that curse is really to bring us back. Let me explain again with real life.
October 7th -curse, Holocaust-curse, destruction of Temple- curse. All the bad scary things in the parsha- curse. Yet, the Holocaust led to establishment of State of Israel. October 7th is leading to the final redemption and has changed so many things in this country and in yours on so many levels. You can figure it out. Destruction of the Temples led to Mishna, Talmud. Rasing sparks. Those are things we're finding when we thought we lost on our dives and found there on the bottom. But guess what they're not the curse that is turning into a blessing. They're alternates. They're Hashem laughing and even providing us with replacement stuff He prepared. But they're not the final redemption. They're not the Bais Ha'Mikdash. We're still hearing and feeling the curse. We're still not the Mittler Rebbe that never heard a curse in the entire reading from the Baal Ha'Tanya because he only hears blessing from Totty. We're still repeating and repeating shana after shana the curse but we're still not at the point where we see the blessing all the way from the beginning. Where we feel the Tacheil shana u'birchoseha.
But this year will be different. This year Mashiach is coming. We're on the final dive. As we enter these last weeks before Rosh Hashana, Ezra who unsuccessfully rebuilt the second Temple, but couldn't get most of the Jews to come back established this Torah reading before the end of the year. It's lesson and His message is that we need to all take that final dive through the klalos and bring them to their true purpose. To return us to Hashem. To see the blessing that He is sending us that is disguised as a curse. And then we can join the angels and our Father in that eternal laughter. Az yimalei sichok pinu- then we can have the full laugh together with them and bask in the blessing of our Totty.
Have a blessed Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“A kloleh iz nit kain telegrameh; zi kumt nit on azoi gich. - A curse is not a telegram: it doesn’t arrive as quickly.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
13. The war that erupted immediately after the Six-Day War is called ________
What is the current population of Tel Aviv-Jaffa (as of 2025)?
A. About 200,000
B. About 550,000
C. About 800,000
D. About 1 million
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ponecha-your-face – I composed this the Elul before the war. It's a gorgeous song that we recite in our daily additional L'Dovid Psalm that Hashem shouldn't hide his face from us. Dovid Lowy knocks it out of the park with vocals and heartfelt arrangements.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CVFG0xCFwc&list=RD2CVFG0xCFwc&start_radio=1 – Eitan Katz's Niggun Teshuva redone for Elul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otxKs52rk24&list=RDotxKs52rk24&start_radio=1 – Motty Shteimetz latest release Hakol Chefeitzim- we all long for you….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGxcGJ4IarA&list=RDGGxcGJ4IarA&start_radio=1 –OORah releases an Elul Dust in the Wind…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjvXvShLcPo – I found this podcast interview to be mindblowing and inspirational on so many levels. Aron Sokol and a former Pastor now Noachide and the movement of Mashiach… wow!!
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Nechemia's Wall -333 BC - It took Nechemia 52 days to build the walls of Yerushalyim. He finished the on the 25th of Elul. Meaning that at this time 1900 and something years ago they were almost done with the job. Next week they would finish. The 25th of Elul isn't just a date of course. It's the day that Hashem started the Creation of the world, which of course culminated with the Creation of Adam on that first Friday Rosh Hashana, the 6th day of Creation. Dates are not random. Take a look at the wars of Israel. Yom Kippur War, Simchat Torah War… Yom Ha'Atzmaut- just joking…
Who knows what will be this holiday. Stay ready?
Now Archeologists have uncovered some of the remains of Nechemia's wall in the city of David we have the steeped structure that is almost certain from Nechemia. As well by the Kings Garden there as well it dates back to his time. In the old city of Yerushalayim as well, we have off the Jewish Quarter the remains of the Broad Wall which not from Nechemia, however it says that he repaired the walls until that Broad Wall. As well although Nechemia mentions many gates that we don't have today, one of them is certainly around and that is the one between the Kotel and the City of David which is the Dung Wall- or Sha'ar Ha'ashpos. Although the current wall there really goes to the Turks, but it is likely built on the remains of Herods Roman walls and Nechemia's wall as well.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE CURSE JOKES OF THE WEEK
There was once a prince who had been cursed by a witch. the curse was that he could only say one word each year. Well one day, by the stream, he meets a beautiful princess. he decides that he loves her, and doesn't speak for 3 years so that he can save up the words to tell her " I love you".
then, after the 3 years are up, he realizes that he wants to marry her so he stays silent for another 4 years, so he can ask " will you marry me?"
Well, the day finally comes. he's so excited, and he's kneeling by the fountain with a smile on his face, he looks up at the princess and says, I love you. will you marry me?
There was silence for a second, before she responds "I'm sorry what was that?"
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."
He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"
Adam meets a witch The witch tells him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed"!
Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive."
Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely *will* be cursed!
Adam: "Nope. You're hideous."
The witch then transformed him into an ant.
Witch: "Look where your rudeness brought you! "
Adam: "Yeah this sucks, but you still look like a moldy potato."
Witch: "Very well, then. You will remain in this form until you repent and call me pretty!"
He is still adamant.
Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck. Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Gehenom.
The Satan, as is his custom, goes to greet his two newest eternal residents, and despite rivers of lava and torrents of brimstone, they’re standing around in jackets.
“Not hot enough for you?” asked the Satan.
“What, this? Nah, this is like a Spring day in Chicago.”
The Satan doesn’t take lightly to such a slight, so he decides to really turn things up. The renewed eternal hellfire and inferno has made the screams of the tormented souls in hell even louder. Rivers of lava overflowing their banks. The Satan goes to check on his two Chicagoans, and sure enough he sees them lounging in shorts and t-shirts.
“Not hot enough for you?” the Satan queries bewilderedly.
“What, this? Nah, this is like a July in Chicago. In fact, I think the humidity was worse in the summer of ’96.”
The Satan is even more incensed. He comes up with a new idea. Turn the thermostat way down. The cursed souls in Hell are greeted by new but equally unbearable type of torture. The lava stops flowing, brimstone stops glowing, and wouldn’t you know it, the ground they stand on has frozen solid.
The Satan again searches out his two Chicagoans, and to his dismay, they’re hugging and cheering.
“What’s this all about!?” the Devil roared.
“THEY’VE DONE IT, IT’S FINALLY HAPPENED, THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!”
A couple passed a one-legged hitch-hiker on the highway.The wife suggested they should give him a ride. Her husband said, "Nope, I tried to give him a ride just the other day. He just screamed and cursed at me."
"I wonder why," she said.
"Don't know," he answered," All I said to him was 'hop in.'"
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
Two American tourists were backpacking in Europe when a car pulled up next to them. The driver rolled down his window and asked in german:” Where is the nearest diner?”
The two Americans, not knowing a fraction of German, stared blankly at the driver. “Sorry, but we have no idea what you are saying.”
The driver tried again in French and again was met with blank stares and shakes of the head from the two tourists.
Getting frustrated, he tried again in Italian, in Spanish, each time receiving nothing but sheepish smiles from the two of them. Finally, he cursed under his breath and drove away angrily.
The first American asked his partner:” Maybe we should learn a second language.” His partner shrugged and replied:” Why? That dude knew four languages and it didn’t help him.”
The cruel god cursed his creations with dyslexia, but nothing happened since they could do no wrong while fully under his control. So he gave all of them free will – and the first thing his creations did was Deicide.
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The answer to this week's question is B- Only got this one half right. I overcounted Tel Aviv. I gave them 800k but in truth its about 500k. I guess I was counting surrounding areas as well. But truth is once you go larger then the Gush Dan area is about 4 million. But I did get part 1 correct. The War of Attrition between Israel and the newly created Palestinians that were Jordanians five minute before, but that Jordan didn't want to accept into their country and integrate them. Egypt and Russia and Syria of course joined and supported and funded their attacks that went on for three years. It ended pretty much when Jordan just went in and slaughtered about 3000 of them and they pretty much left up North to Libya and Lebanon. So 50/50 on this one and the score is Rabbi Schwartz having 9.5 points and the MOT having 3.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam
