Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
September 4th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 45 22nd of Elul 5785
Parshat Nitzavim/Vayeilech
Madly in Love
Click here below for print edition
(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Nitzavim Va'yeilich 2026 )
I mean, who else does Hashem provide regular parking spaces for in Tzfat? Every few days the city there is trying to take away more and more of the limited spots, just to stifle me. But yet, whenever I pull in inevitably, there's someone pulling out, and from the closest spot that I need. There's no way in the world that any tour guide can pack in as much as I want to and try to pack into a day, if Hashem wasn't miraculously somehow easing up traffic whenever I needed to get anywhere. Although He does like to keep me on shpilkes so that I get there, always there… wherever that is… 5 minutes before they close the door. He gets a kick out of playing me like that. It's what lovers do to one another.
Somehow as well, He makes sure that I always manage to bump into someone cool that my people wanted to meet to make the day even more amazing. He brings me to the art or jewelry store that has just the piece my people are looking for, to bring back with them to the States. He inspires me with great songs to play for their entertainment. He just always gives me amazing people to tour with. I've been doing this for almost 15 years now and maybe once or twice out of the hundreds if not thousands of tours I've done have I ever had any duds. Any bad days. Any tours that I didn't just pull over at the end after I dropped them off, and just scratch my head in awe at what an awesome amazing day we just had- and I didn't even plan half of it…
Now one might think it's a bit jinxy, or pooh-pooh-pooh, ayin-harah-ish, knock-on-wood, to say this kind of stuff. It's like just asking for it to change. But I'm not scared. He loves me too much. He loves my tours. He can't get enough of them. He even puts the words in my mouth. I don't even know where they came from. It's kind of like these E-Mails that I have no idea how I put out every week. He just sends words down the love hatch and poof you've got something interesting to read during your Rabbis sermon, or at your Shabbos table… the bathroom?
But it's not just my work, my writings, my parnassa and my health. It's my wife, my children, my grandchildren, my parents, my upbringing, my teachers (once I finally found them- or at least when He sent them to me). It's my house and really all my houses wherever I lived. It's the fact that somehow, He even got me to live in His country. In the most amazing place on the planet earth. He did that because He likes to look at me. It was a pain for Him to keep trying to find me in some other hole in the States. So He brought me here to where He's anyways watching all the time. He's got me in front of His computer screen always over here, right next to the screen with His land on it. It's pretty much everything that I have and experience in life. It's crazy how insanely in love He must be with me. Especially after the so little I do for him. Or perhaps even more shockingly that I do that must pain Him and hurt Him every day. I guess He's kind of like my mother in that way. They probably will have a lot to commiserate about after 120 years…
Now, if you think this is kind of narcissistic of me. That it sounds strange. It sounds bizarre. I always get that feeling from my tourists when I share with them this little secret of mine, as they eyeball one another in my rear-view mirror. Then I'm kind of curious what prayer book you daven out of each morning and evening. I mean do you leave out the part about Ahavah rabba ahavtanu, or ahavas olam- about the incredible tremendous love that Hashem has for us. For me. For you. Do you not say when you wake up about the chemla gedola- not small but great mercy which He has in returning our souls. Did you skip the part about how every moment that my soul is inside me how grateful we are to Him. How bout Shemona Esrei- in modim where we literally appreciate and thank the miracles each day, the signs, the kisses He gives us. Why are you looking at me like I'm the crazy one….?
OK, I'll admit He probably doesn't love you as much as He loves me. So you may not realize it as much as I do. I'll give you that. After-all you're not a tour guide in His country that's privileged with telling people how great His house and how they all need to move here. You're in real estate in Lakewood and have a nursing home in Tennessee and are taking care of Medicare old black people which is very important as well, but just not the same. But yet, even if you don't always feel that like I do, its about time to do something about that. It's Elul. The King is in the field. Ani L'Dodi V'dodi Li- time boys and girls. Start feeling the love.
You know it's funny-or maybe sad. But I don't think when I say the word Elul to most frum Jews that went through the traditional yeshiva system that evokes a sense of love. Fear- yes. Awe-possibly. Impending doom-obviously it just depends on what yeshiva you went to and how creative your mashgiach was as to the extent of the death, destruction and fires of hell that would rain down on you as you're written in the "bad book" where people like you who talk lashon hara and speak during davening and have evil thoughts most of the day are all written. Love? That's for Tu B'Av, frolicking in the fields with the maidens. It's not a real holiday. Just a nice tour guiding story to talk about in Shilo. Jewish holidays aren't about love. They're about saving us from death. About giving us commandments and dancing with them. About sitting in booths. And saving us from death miraculously again and again because we know Hashem really wants to kill us.
Yet, for some reason, our rabbis seemed to see something different in this month that's mean to be the preparation for the Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. They saw in it love. They saw in it that the main thing that we need to focus on is actually the opposite of what most of us have been taught or absorbed. We're meant to in this whole entire month think about one thing. About how Hashem is madly and obsessively in love with us and we are with Him. I am to my beloved my beloved is to me. That's the path to teshuva. That's the Book of Life. That's Mashiach. That's all He really wants from us.
The parsha that we read every year before Rosh Hashana Nitzavim actually tells us this. Hashem didn't want to count on our Rabbis teaching us it, He put it into our Torah reading this week. He also arranged it to be the shortest parshiyos of the year, so there's really no time to space out or chap a schmooze during Torah reading. You just gotta make sure to make it there on time. But hey, if you can't make it on time for the last reading of the year, then there's a problem.
So after all the blessings and curses of last week Hashem tells us tachlis what it's all about. It's kind of like when you go on all of those rides and they give you the long warning before hand or when you download an app or before you go into surgery for a procedure. You skip to the bottom and press click. What's the bottom line? That's what this week's parsha is all about. And here it is…
Devarim (30:1-6) And it will be when all of these things- the blessing and the curse which I gave before you come upon you and you will turn it to your heart amongst all of the nations which I have banished you. And you will return to Hashem your God and listen to His voice according to all that I am commanding you this day you and your children.
Tachlis- we're gonna get curses, we're gonna get blessings. And ultimately Hashem will bring us home.
then, the Lord, your God, will bring back your exiles, and He will have mercy upon you….
He's gonna bring us to the land and we will inherit it and be even greater than our forefathers.
Which is fascinating. Because here we seem to see that the word teshuva that is used repeatedly and I believe translated almost always as repentance- certainly in our yeshiva world is actually used for something else much more basic. Teshuva actually means returning to the land. Returning to Eretz Yisrael. If you want to do teshuva- it means coming home. It doesn't mean banging on your chest. It doesn't even mean saying your sorry. It means actually physically coming home. Someone that doesn't come home really can't be said to have done teshuva. He hasn't returned. He's still there.
What's even more amazing is that it seems that the return to Eretz Yisrael is actually the perquisite to doing teshuva, because the Torah only then tells us that after we return and inherit the land and we have goodness and are great. Only then…
U'mol Hashem Elokecha Es Levavcha V'es Li'vav zarecha- Hashem will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants
And those underlined words of Es Levavcha and V'es Livav are of course an acronym for Elul.
But what will he circumcise our hearts to do? How do we live? What's the bottom line?
L'ahava es Hashem elokecha bichol livavcha u'bchol nafshecha l'maan chayecha- to love Hashem your god with all your heart and all your soul in order that you shall live.
The purpose of it all is to feel the love. To understand that Hashem is madly in love with us. To feel that love back for Him. If we get there and appreciate that and feel it in our hearts and souls, then we're living. We're alive. We're in the Book of life. There's no curse. There's only blessing. We're on cloud nine. We're basking like a chasan and kallah as they're hanging out together in the field. We're that astrological sign of Elul which is besula- a never married young seminary girl whose entire existence is about finding and being one with her bashert. That's us and Hashem. That's Elul.
If we have Elul, if we have our whole heart and soul filled with that love, then there's no real day of judgement coming up next week. It’s a day of accounting. It's a day of counting all the blessings. It's a day of return. It's a day of when we sign the ketuva. It's when we start again a whole new world. It's creation all over. It's the start of a new life; a new life with my beloved. The one that is madly in love with me.
But how do we get there? Well obviously the first way is to come on a tour with me, its good for ones shalom bayis with Hashem to hang out with other people that are madly in love with Him and have that love back. But let's say you can't make it here. You can't afford me. I'm booked up already. Then what? Well I'm not going to leave you hanging. There's a secret here in the verse Hashem tells us in that pasuk above that is an acronym for this month. It's called circumcision of the heart and it's an incredible idea.
See whereas in other places Hashem describes this heart bris as removing the orla- the foreskin or blockage of the heart, here Hashem tells us something different. He says He will circumcise the actual heart. Orlas ha'lev- the blockages of the heart is all the stuff that we accumulated. It's all the cholesterol. It's the fat. It's the buildup and plaque that our distance from Him prevents us from experiencing all of the love and good that He feels and does for us. It's the baggage we've accumulated. It's being in galus too long. It's forgetting and not hearing or feeling that loving life force that is pumping in our veins urging and calling us to come home. It happens in marriage too. We get so caught up in "life" we forget the love that is the foundation of it all. That's the foreskin we have to remove. We need to remove it between ourselves, our fellow brothers and sisters, our children, our neighbors and of course from Hashem.
Circumcisions are painful. Not that I remember… but every guy gets that twinge of ouch just watching it. Circumcisions of the heart foreskin are even more so. Its cutting deep into ones soul. It's searching. It's reflecting. It's getting rid and extricating all that build up. It's cleaning up the clog. And frankly it's not an enjoyable process, that anyone normal would want to do without any anesthesia. It's why we Ashkenazim push off selichos until the last week and usually teshuva until nei'la. It's why we avoid going to doctors to hear about that hard tedious painful work and all the things we can't enjoy anymore.
The circumcision of the heart itself though is telling us that there is no real foreskin left. There really wasn’t any even there in the first place. See our DNA is pure heart and love. We are inherently connected. Our blood types are the same. Our organs are exchangeable. It's all good. We just need to shock it for a minute and boom it comes to life. That beep beep sign on the heart monitor screen just pops back on, Hashem never stopped loving us for a minute and that love is still pounding us out. We just need to prick the heart-kind of like someone that is already circumcised that converts, what is called a hatafat dam bris- and boom we're good. We're new. That's not painful at all. That's what Hashem is telling us He will do to us in Elul. We just need to step into the surgery room. We need to come home to Him.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe notes how that's why the acronym for Elul isn't just es levavcha- but it's es levav- not only our hearts but also the hearts of… See because it's not just our heart that's inherently connected and doesn't need cleaning just rebooting, it's the hearts of our descendants as well. Because it's in our DNA. It's not just our children which is a result of our actions and relationships and education. It's all our descendants. It's our inherent nature. It's for all time. He's madly in love with each of us and we are connected to Him so deeply and innately.
The end of the second parsha we read this week of Vayeilech tells us something fantastic, in Hashem's last conversation with Moshe. Something mind-blowing that we might miss. Hashem calls in Moshe and Yehoshua and tells them that He knows that when we come into the land we will sin, we will worship false gods, we will lose our faith. We will think we're dead inside and Hashem is not in us. He doesn't love us. It's gonna happen. Hashem is telling them that He knows it will happen. Just like every parent knows that their child is going to misbehave at some time or another. They will mess up. They will disappoint us. Our spouses will as well. He's telling them this in advance, so that we will know, that He's ready for this. He's even expecting this. And guess what it won't practically change a thing about the way that He feels for us. The love that He has for us. We will always have a place at His table. Our hearts are always pure and full of love for Him.
Hashem tells us He knows this. He knows our yetzer hara's. He knows that we will sin. We can't possibly disappoint Him, because disappointment is only when we don't live up to His expectations and He's telling us that He knows we will sin. But even with that He still loves us. He just wants us to remember that. So he gives us a song. He tells us to sing it. It's a love song of all times. It's ours and it's His. And that brings us all back. That returns us home to His table. To the Home we will build together. The home that starts at the beginning of the new year.
The Baal Haturim notes on the words es levavcha v'es- that the gematria is 862 which is the same gematria as zeh l'yimos ha'mashiach- this will happen in the times of Mashiach. Its interesting that the gematria is from the words our hearts and… the three dots mean it's endless. It doesn't even end with our children. It's like that song from Titanic it will be on and on and on and on… That's the year we are entering. This is the days of Mashiach. So can you feel the love tonight? Is He madly in love with you as well?
Have a lovely Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Drei zachen ken men nit bahalten: libeh, hisen un dales.. - Three things cannot be hidden: love, coughing and poverty.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
14. On Shabbat, after reading the weekly Torah portion, it is customary to read a passage from the Bible called _____________
According to tradition, which of the matriarchs is not buried in the Cave of the Patriarchs?
A. Rachel
B. Leah
C. Sarah
D. Rivkah
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/haneshama-lach – In honor of Selichos one of my most magnificent compositions. Pure Hartz Dovid Lowy arrangements and Vocals!
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ponecha-your-face – I composed this the Elul before the war. It's a gorgeous song that we recite in our daily additional L'Dovid Psalm that Hashem shouldn't hide his face from us. Dovid Lowy knocks it out of the park with vocals and heartfelt arrangements.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNd7u0CF5bs&list=RDxNd7u0CF5bs&start_radio=1 – Dovid Lowy Unplugged Ani Le'Dodi…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFeE8Jr4d-M&list=RDuFeE8Jr4d-M&start_radio=1&pp=oAcB – MBD's latest high Holiday release- u'vtuvcha ha'gadol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQoPqqQCYQ8&list=RDUQoPqqQCYQ8&start_radio=1 –Moshcheini from Karduner!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euWFyNhq0-k&list=RDeuWFyNhq0-k&start_radio=1 – Akiva- Tefilla v'Tza'akot…
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
The First Rosh Hashana -333 BC – That's it. The Temple is built. It was finished on the week before Rosh Hashana. It's like the creation of the world. It's almost incomprehensible to imagine how after 70 years of Galus we came back, just as the prophets said we would. Most of the Jews as we noted didn't. The ones that were there were sinners, were intermarried, had begun the process of teshuva. It was a big holiday. One that reveals to us the essence of Rosh Hashana. One that is seemingly different then the we have these days.
On that first Rosh Hashana we all gathered in the Bais Hamikdash there after bringing the sacrifices Ezra got up and read from the Torah scroll. He read the blessings and the curses. He read this week's Torah portion. He read about how we would be exiled. How we would sin. How Hashem hid himself from us. How the goyim would try to wipe us out. Can you imagine this Torah reading. This is not long after the miracles of Purim. The World Wars between Iran and Iraq. Our miraculous return. It all came true. They saw the Torah like they never did. They saw that all they had been experiencing had been written. They were the generation of redemption. Hashem is one. His name is one. They heard that name from the mouth of the Kohein and they all fell down and bowed. It was overwhelming. And then they started to cry and mourn. They looked at their sins. At their non-Jewish wives. At the idolatry and the ways they had fallen. They were broken. They were doing what they thought was teshuva. But they were wrong.
Nechemia gets up and tells them all to rise. Go home. Eat. Feast. Sing. Dance. Eat fatty foods. Meat boards. Drink wine. It's a holiday today. Hashem is back with His children. It's a celebration. That's what Rosh Hashana is meant to look like. You guys are missing the boat. Hashem doesn't want your tears. He wants your joy. Your Simcha. That's how the new year start. That's how the temple is started.
This Rosh Hashana we are longing for that day of Simcha once again. Return us Hashem and we will return to you.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE LOVE JOKES OF THE WEEK
Rabbi Applebaum thought it would be a great idea to hold a marriage seminar at his congregation and sure enough, many of the couples showed up. The therapist was focusing on communication and Moishe and Miriam Silverman were listening as the therapist declared: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the men: "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Moishe leaned over, touched Miriam’s arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
We thought it was our ability to love that made us human,
but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK.
Sitting beside my girlfriend I said, "I love you."
She said, "Is that you or the beer talking?"
I said, "It's me talking to the beer."
When I asked my wife asked when she knew she loved me She said "We were in Yerushalayim, and the way you knew so much about the city like it was second nature to you. But I never felt you were condescending to me when I'd ask stupid questions. I saw how much you knew, how passionate you could be. I'd been bored by all the old buildings, but you brought it all to life. I think that weekend, was when I realized you could be the best thing about my life."
I didn't speak for a while, just looked at her and said three words.
"Our tenth anniversary?"
I love the taste of clocks but… Eating them is time consuming
I love bad eyeball jokes- the cornea the better!
s Moishe left a board meeting at shul, he desperately gave himself a personal TSA pat down. He was looking for his keys. They were not in his pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly he realized that he must have left them in the car. Frantically, he headed for the parking lot.
Moishe’s wife, Miriam, had scolded him many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. Moishe’s theory is that the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Miriam’s theory is that the car will be stolen. As Moishe burst through the doors of the shul, he came to a terrifying conclusion: Miriam’s theory was right. The parking lot was empty. He immediately called the police. He gave them his location, confessing that he had left the keys in the car and that it had been stolen.
Then Moishe made the most difficult call of all. "Honey," he stammered. He always calls her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. Moishe thought the call had been dropped, but then he heard Miriam’s voice. "Moishe!" she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was his time to be silent. Embarrassed, he said, "Well, come and get me."
Miriam retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car!"
I think my wife loves yoga more than she loves me. When I want her to do something, she'll only do it if it fits into her schedule. Meanwhile, she'll bend over backwards for yoga
I love whiteboards. They're remarkable.
Dave and Cindy Rothman had some friends over for Shabbos dinner when the subject of marriage counselling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. Cindy and I have a great relationship," Dave explained.
"She was a communications major in college and I believe it or not, I received a minor in theater arts."
“How does that help you?” asked their guest.
"Cindy communicates really well and I am very good at acting like I'm listening."
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know. She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
Why do people love the way the earth rotates? Because it really makes their day
I really love 50 Cent......Or as we call him here in Iran, '200 million dollars'.
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The answer to this week's question is A- It's nice to get a freebee on the last week of the year. This one was easy for any frum person and probably even for most secular Israelis as well. Maybe even conservative and Reform Jews-but maybe not… Anyways answer is Haftorah
and of course Rachel buried on the side of the road. So ending off the year with the score being Rabbi Schwartz having 10.5 points and the MOT having 3.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam
