Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile
Showing posts with label chulent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chulent. Show all posts

Friday, December 2, 2016

Big Red- Toldos 5777 /2016

Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"

December 2nd 2016 -Volume 7 Issue 6 2nd Kislev 5777
Parshat Toldot
It wasn’t easy getting a hold of us in yeshiva. This was of course in the pre-historic period before the advent of cell phones. The method to communicate with your children was via the yeshiva pay phone. Those were those primitive boxes hung on the wall which you would have to insert money into in order to dial out. If you were lucky they worked. We had telephone cards to dial long-distance with. But for our parents trying to reach us they would have to call and call and hope that somebody would answer and then if they did hope that they would go get your yeshiva student to come to the phone. For that to happen there need to be a conflux of coincidences. 1) He had to know who your son was- a real problem for a quiet, unassuming, shy guy like me. OK maybe that wasn’t such a problem. 2) The guy that answered the phone had to be motivated enough to run around yeshiva trying to find you. Again, very hopeful. 3) He wouldn’t get distracted and caught up in an important conversation in the interim, like what are they serving for lunch. Is it pizza? If it was, chances are you will be on hold for a long time. 4) Your son was actually in Yeshiva that day and not playing hooky. Something my parents never had to worry about, of course.
My mother had it a little harder than most. For although most people in yeshiva knew who I was, despite my quiet nature, they didn’t really know my name. See in yeshiva I was Schwartzy, not Ephraim Schwartz that I was called by my bris. Most guys were not called by their bris names, maybe it was the bad memories. So when my mother would call and ask for Ephraim Schwartz, inevitably the reply she would get was “Who?!!” in the best scenario. In other cases when it was more knowledgeable guys who answered and just picked up the phone by mistake, or were waiting for an incoming call for themselves and were regretting having answered it the response would be a decisive “there is nobody here by that name.”
My mother wised up though and I’ll never forget the time when she called and asked “Can I please speak with Schwartzy?” The guy that answered the phone asked who this was calling and when my mother answered him. He expressed his wonderment and awe. “You also call him Schwartzy!?!”
Yeah we all had nicknames back in the day. There was T.T. which I still have no idea what it stands for. In camp I was called Pacman, something about me eating up all the food.  One of the stranger names was a freind of mine who we called Grebdlog Oidar- which was our ‘backwards’ way of talking about the illegal contraband that he had hidden in yeshiva (read it backwards). Just the other week I was in Amuka and I bumped into someone who surprisingly looked quite familiar, after-all it was only about 40 years or so since we had last seen each other, back in Camp Gan Israel. But you know what they say about people that served time in the ‘camps’. You never forget your former cell-mates. He started calling me Zaidy right there in Amuka and singing the song that I was nicknamed after having made it famous; ”Shake it up Zaidy”.


Nicknames were cool. They were our way of naming each other, something we were not given any say in. Some of our nicknames annoyed our parents, which were even more of a reason to use them. We had nicknames for our teachers as well. Those we would never say out loud. As I said we lived in the corporal punishment era. We knew that although sticks and stones might break your bones but nicknames- particularly for our teachers could really hurt us.
Why am I focused on nicknames this week? Besides the fact that this guy started singing the “zaidy” song to me. Why this week’s Torah portion of course. For the Torah goes out of its way to tell us the nickname that was given to one of the most important people and nations of history. Certainly the one that we currently, according to our sages, have been living and more often than not suffering under for the past two millennia. I’m referring of course to none other than our Uncle Eisav or as the Torah tells us they called him “Edom” or “Red”.
Now I consider myself the king of making up nicknames. Ask my kids Henrietta pooperstock (Shani), Joey Gunga (Yonah) Abecasis (Rivkah) Elka-loosh- you figure that one out and Harry Hertzka (Naftali “Tully” Hertzka). I know my sister Gitty thinks she’s just a good with her names pootchie pootchie koosh koosh mookie boing boing or something like that. But that just sounds Chinese- apologies to all my far-east readers. But “Red” seems like kind of a simple name. I mean he was born a redhead, the Torah tells us, so that would make it pretty obvious. But it seems that he was not given that moniker for his obvious “gingy” status. He was also born pretty hairy and one of the names given to him was in fact Sei’ir or Harry; also not necessarily quite an original name. But the Torah actually tells us that he didn’t receive his nickname until he was a teenager. I guess that’s generally when he went to yeshiva and was given his name by his friends, or in Eisav’s case thrown out of yeshiva. The Torah however tells us that he was called Eisav after the day that he came home tired and wiped out and asked his brother who seemed to be cooking some lentil soup-although I always like to think of it as chulent. But I like to think of everything as chulent J. He turned to his brother, our grandfather Yaakov and asked him
Bereshit (25:30) pour me (into my mouth) from this red-red because I am tired- Therefore they called his name “Edom-Red”
I always believed that nicknames are important, but one has to ask the Torah why do we care what his nickname was. Does it really matter? And smack in middle of the story. As well why is he named after the color of the soup that he asked for? As I noted there were more obvious reasons to call him that particularly his red complexion and hair.
The truth is the entire story seems like a strange story. After-all Yaakov we are told rather than help his starving exhausted brother seems quite devious, using the opportunity to ask Eisav to sell him his birthright in exchange for the soup. Eisav, obviously being given an offer he doesn’t seem to be in a position to refuse-I’ve been that hungry sometimes, I can relate, I’ve been known to offer to sell some of my kids for a shwarma in a pita-just joking...nothing less than a laffa. Eisav responds, “I’m going to die, and what do I need this birthright for.”  Yaakov makes him take an oath. He swears. And it tells us Yaakov gives him bread, and the bean soup which probably wasn’t chulent- for as the Torah tell us, rather than doing what is usually done after one is tired and eats a bowl of chulent, which is to lie down and crash on the couch, Eisav gets up and goes out and mocks the birthright.
The questions around this story are pretty obvious. Why is Yaakov taking advantage of his poor hungry brother? How can you sell a birthright? I imagine Eisav could have gotten himself a good Jewish lawyer to claim that the entire deal was obviously under duress. And why do we care what they were eating? Perhaps even stranger is the epilogue of this story at the end of the Parsha when Yaakov at his mother’s behest dresses himself up, goat-hair sleeves and all, to get the first-born blessings from his poor blind father Yitzchak. Yitzchak detects something is wrong by Yaakov’s voice yet rather than call someone in to identify him he gives the blessings to Yaakov. When Eisav walks in afterwards, our sages tell us that Yitzchak saw Gehenom open up below him. Now the question besides what is going on here that bothered me is REALLY?!? How could Yitzchak not tell? I mean we have all these stories of these great Rabbis like the Ari”Zl that can tell who you are before you even walk in the room and what you dreamed last night. How could Yitzchak be so oblivious to what was going on? What was he even thinking in the first place to give the blessings to Eisav. I mean didn’t he know what a juvenile delinquent he was. A murderer, a rapist, a hunter- definitely a Republican J.
The answer I believe can be found in the entire middle of the story of our Parsha. Yitzchak is a farmer and someone who digs wells. What is a farmer and a well-digger?They are someone who can see and actually are experts at finding and revealing the potential that others cannot see. If you show me a seed, I will try to eat it or sprinkle it on my pizza- I have become that Israeli. A farmer though sees a crop. If I see someone digging, burying and pouring water on said-seed, to me that is the end of it. Yet the farmer knows that from there will sprout forth fruit. Same thing with wells. Dig, dig, dig, dirt dirt dirt seemingly a waste of time. But the well digger knows that underneath all that shmutz lies the fountain of life. mayim- agua. You just need to look beyond the surface.
Yitzchak of course knows what Eisav is on the outside. Yet he believes that to reveal Hashem in this world one must be capable of getting down in the mud, something that Yaakov who was the nice little yeshiva boy would never be able to. He was right about that. It was what Eisav’s job was supposed to be. In fact Rabbi Yonasan Eibieshitz suggests that on a spiritual level Yitzchak saw the holy converts that were meant to descend from Eisav that would do precisely that. Shmaya and Avtalayon the great leaders in the Mishna period and teachers of Hillel, Unkelos- who’s Temple period translation of the Torah is basic reading each week and the great Rabbi Meir. (I will not write Ivanka in the same sentence-no offense). Yet Yaakov knew that Yitzchak had it wrong about this guy. He knew it because Eisav’s name was “Red”.
When I walk into the house and smell something good, the first thing I would ask is what is this? Oh it’s chulent. Oh it’s steak. Oh it’s soup. Really what type of soup? Lentil soup. That sounds delicious can I have some. The Torah tells us specifically what Yaakov is cooking. Yet Esau never asks. He doesn’t even see what it is he is eating. All he sees is red. The surface. He sees it twice. Red-red. Yaakov is not sure about this. Maybe he’s just hungry. Maybe Eisav can be shaken awake. He asks him if would sell his birthright- that special divine mandate that has been passed down from Avraham to their father Yitzchak to light up the darkness of the world, to find the hidden sparks of holiness and reveal the divinity in Creation. Yet Eisav responds at age 15 that he is going to die and life is meaningless. He wasn’t as much hungry- it doesn’t even tell us he was hungry. It says he was tired. But not go-to-sleep-hit-the-sack tired as it obvious that he gets up and heads right back out after eating his bowl of chulent. He was tired of life. Not interested in digging, in revealing, in uplifting in our partnership with Hashem, our birthright. He is Red. The epitome of surface. It wasn’t a nickname he was given when he was born. In fact the name Eisav not only means asui- fully finished but can also be read asu- make- do- work. There were big plans for this boy. But he is ayeif tired. He chooses to only see the surface. He’s Red.
Our sages tell us that each Jewish name contains in it the essence of what our soul is meant to accomplish. The letters of the name, the definition and the numerical value they are all the divine DNA that make up who we are, what talents and gifts we were given, what are particular personal role in this world is meant to be and our strengths and weaknesses that will challenge us in accomplishing that. The nicknames we have are the short cuts. The surface definition that might just latch onto our externalities but will never come close to guiding us into becoming who we are meant to be. We are living in the world and exile of Esau. The red world. The world that seems to be obsessed with externalities. how it looks, what is politically correct. It doesn't make a difference what is on the inside, all that matters is how we can spin it. That is not Hashems world. That is not the name Yaakov and Yisrael that we are meant to reveal. May each of us live up to that name, realize its potential. After-all our grandfather traded a bowl of chulent for that right.
o

 Have a perfect Shabbos!
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEE

https://youtu.be/8tIAaMOpKEQ -Elka’s favorite song- Matanot Ketanot

https://youtu.be/znLYZRhbLK4  – Lipa with the holocaust survivor band and Dudu Fisher singing songs from the Alteh Heim

https://youtu.be/pZm_uk5M5D0   A composition by my dear friend Benzion Klatzkow Rabbi “K”- Kol Zmaan Shehaner Dolek Efshar L'Taken Assur L'heetyaesh, M'Hashem Tivakesh- As long as your flame is lit, You can still be fixed Refuse to Give up hope, Call out to God

https://youtu.be/BY0awgARQNo Birkas Habanim by Ohad for this week’s Torah portion theme the blessings for children

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Nit mit sheltn un nit mit lakhn ken men di velt ibermakhn.”  Neither cursing nor laughing can change the world
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q.   Which among the following is not a bird of prey?
A. Eagle
B. Vulture
C. Owl
D. Tristram’s Starling (Grackle)

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ILLUMINATING RASHI OF THE WEEK
Our greatest leaders read Rashi and saw in him the basic principles of faith and with that profound insights into our our world and human behavior. In the first verse of this weeks portion of Toldos the Torah tells us
Bereishit (25:19) These are the generations of Yitzchak the son of Avraham. Avraham begot Yitzchak.
Obviously upon reading a pasuk like that which begs the question as to the repitiive nature of it “Yitzchak the son of Avraham and Avraham begot Yitzchak, one needs to check out Rashi. Rashi explains the text with two intepertaions. I’ll focus on the 2nd one (check out the first one yourself) which is famous. Rashi says
For the scoffers of the generation were saying that Sarah became pregnant from Avimelech. For she spent many years with Avraham and did not become pregnant from him. So what did Hashem do? He fashioned Yitzchak’s face to resemble Avrahams and everyone attested that Avraham begot Yitzchak.”
The great Rav of Brisk, Rav Yitzchak Soloveitchik noted that the term that Rashi uses to describe the non-believers was not heretics but rather mockers, scoffers, letizanim. He points out that these people were not people that didn’t believe. For the truth is there was obviously great miracles that took place. Sarah was after all hereself 90 years old. Rather they were believers that chose not to believe in what they would need to believe in. Namely that a miracle was performed for Avraham. Meaning seemingly they should have denied the entire story. Yet, the Rav told his students, that is the way of mockers. They have to believe in something. Each person was granted a power of faith, it is natural to us like strength, wisdom and other attributes. We can direct that faith to something real. To Hashem and his running of the universe or we can and will believe in far-fetched ridiculous things. Be they horoscopes, superstitions, luck, fortune tellers, scientific postulations that struggle to explain the inexplicable without Hashem and without a Creator. A leitz a scoffer is not a non-believer, he is someone who is just channeling his faith in the wrong direction and more often than not a more far-fetched one. Wouldn’t it be wiser to utilize our natural faith for what it was given to us? One word in Rashi and a lesson his students will remember forever.

Rabbi Yitzchok Zev Halevi Soloveitchik (1886,-1959)- Perhaps one of the most influential leaders in the Yeshiva world of the last generation The Brisker Rav or the Gri”Z as he was known, established what is perhaps noted as the most elite Yeshiva in Israel today, reknown for their precision and meticulousness about Jewish law and tradition. He was born in Volozhin to the famed Rav Chaim Soloveitchik. At age 16 he was noted as an illui- genius that had mastered the entire Talmud with Rashi by heart. During World War I he fled to Brisk and was offered the position of the Rav there. In 1941 he came to Israel where he founded the famed Brisk Yeshiva. The style of Brisk was to study each word and the nuances that were written by the Rambam and other halachic works, as well much of the focus of study of the yeshiva was on the tractates of Kodshim that were not vastly learned. He was ardently opposed to Zionism and refused to take and receive any money as other yeshivot did from the government or in fact any source that was questionably “not Kosher”. However he had tremendous respect for many of the great leaders that were supporters of Zionism referring to Rav Kook as the “Pe’er Hador- the splendor of the generation, his nephew Rav Soloveitchik from Yeshiva University he referred to as the greatest scholar in America and even the chief Rabbi of Israel Rav Herzog he noted was a tzadik and genius. This was a different approach than both the Aguda and the Rebbe of Satmar. In fact when the issue of voting in Israel came up he defined his position as stating “It is not such a big mitzva that Rav Aharon Kotler has to come from America to support it and fulfill it and not such a big sin that the Rebbe of Satmar has to come protest it.”
The Rav’s children and grandchildren lead his yeshivas in Israel today. And thousands of Torah Jews study his insights and have adopted many of his customs emulating this great man.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TYPES OF JEWS IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Lone Soldiers – People ask me all the time why I moved to Israel. As if I was crazy to give up the incredible life in America. More often than not it is Israelis that ask me that or people from New York. I had my reasons. My reasons certainly have changed with a greater appreciation for what life in this land truly is on all levels- material, spiritual, emotional and historical. However non of those reasons come close to perhaps the greatest heroes of our  time which are the young men and women that leave their families and life behind in order to join the army and defend our promised land and the Jewish people. Today in Israel there are over 6000 of such soldiers of which over 40% serve in combat units. To be considered and to receive the special benefits the government and army give to lone soldiers which include a higher stipend tickets to visit home, preferential free or subsidized housing, one has to not be in contact or have family here in Israel. The majority of the lone soldiers come from the US and Russia but recently there have been an influx of Chareidi young men who have joined the army and been ostracized by their families or communities who have also been given that status. There are many organizations that assist and support these young dedicated heroes. Many of them have given their lives Al Kiddush Hashem defending this land that may not have been their birth country but is certainly the place that was dearest to their heart. In the last Gaza War there were over 20,000 people that attended the funerals of those that were killed defending our land, giving homage and honor to those that certainly deserve it.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE JOKES OF THE WEEK
My mate insists on being called 'N' by everyone. He'll do anything to be the center of attention.

I have just changed my name by name to Heart Disease. Just so I can be known as the UK's biggest killer.

Mr. and Mrs. King were in the hospital with their newborn baby.
"What shall we name him?" she asked.
"How about Joseph?" he replied.
The nurse with the birth certificate looked at the baby and said: "You've got to be Joe King!".

How come there are so many bus drivers called Drive? ( In Israel that would be sa!)

A little boy at school on his first day was asked by the teacher what his name was.
The boy replied, "Six and seven-eighths".
The teacher asked him why his parents had given him such a strange name and he replied, "They just picked it out of a hat".

My nickname means I have a great pick -up line when I'm in America.
"Hi, I'm Waldo. I believe you've been trying to find me."

Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, goes by the nickname' Bibi'. His wife, in contrast to most Israeli' first ladies', takes a more activist role in her country's affairs.
During the last peace talks with Yassir Arafat and the Palestinians' there were discussion about a formal conference complete with state dinners. The press was dying be on hand to hear Mrs. Netanyahu lean towards Mr. Arafat and motioning towards her husband intone:
'Yasir, that's my Bibi'

  **************
Answer is D – We’ve moved on from botany to wildlife. This one was easy though. The tristramites named after Henry Tristram Baker the famous 19th century British archeologist are those friendly birds that hang out at Masada whom he named. They’re black with an orange stripe and they love people and love to sing. They are very romantic birds always eating, flying and singing together with their spouses.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Hungry Heart- Behalotcha 5775/2015

Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"

June 6th 2015 -Volume 5, Issue 30 -11th Iyar 5775
Parshat Behaloscha

Hungry Heart
 
My wife is a fantastic cook. I knew that before I got married. Her Mother is as well. It runs in their blood. I was looking for someone that was a good cook. As King Solomon writes in his beautiful Psalm Eishet Chayil which we recite Friday Nights. Sheker HaChayn V’Hevel Hayofi- Grace is false and beauty is worthless… Beauty comes and goes but a good cook that’s foreverJ. OK he doesn’t actually come to the same conclusion. He writes something about a woman who fears God should be praised. And I’m all for that as well. But trust, me, He was a King and had the best chefs in the world. I’m sure if he was a simple guy like me, who can’t afford a great chef, he would have also praised a wife that is a good cook. I lucked out because I got me a wife that’s not only a good cook, but who’s full of chen, beauty and of course God fearing. It’s not for naught that Hashem watches over fools. Happy Birthday dear.

Now I wasn’t skinny before I got married, but my wife’s cooking certainly hasn’t helped me out. Although G-d bless her she tries very hard to make nutritious healthy meals. Yet I just can’t get enough of those not as healthy Shabbos leftovers it seems. My tourists ask me how with all the tours and hikes that I do each week, how I’m able to remain in that delightfully robust shape- yes a circle is a shape as well. And the answer I give them is that it is not easy, but that’s what Shabbos is for. I know somebody told me once that one doesn’t gain weight on Shabbos. They have obviously never had Shabbos by the Schwartz home. Smelling Aliza’s chulent alone can put inches on your waist. Here in Israel you have the added benefit of eating about fifty five different dips and salads with challa even before you start your fish and soup-with croutons of course. Yup a good rebbetzin’s cooking and Shabbos meals-three of them, are just not on any diet plan. I’ve seen. The upside though is that Shabbos eating is of course a Mitzva. A Mitzvah that I would like to talk about this week.

You see once we’re on the topic of eating, let’s take a week at this week’s Torah portion, particularly what seems to be a turning point for the Jewish people as they venture out on what was meant to be a short journey to the Promised Land, a few days or so, but seemed to have gotten off to the wrong start. The narrative part of our Parsha after describing the mitzva of lighting up- Behaalotcha- of the Menora by Aharon takes a turn to describing our departure from Sinai into the wilderness. We bring our first  Pesach offering and the people who are impure are granted fascinatingly enough the ability to bring it a month later when they become purified. Cool! It would really stink to have to miss out on that BBQ. The truth is Rashi tells us that this was the only one that was brought their entire sojourn in the wilderness until they arrived in Israel. It continues with a description of the traveling instructions. Trumpets to call everyone clouds and pillars and Arks to follow and the formations. Yisro, Moshe’s father-in-law leaves and the trip begins. And like every good trip. So does the Kvetching.

First we are told about the MisOninim- the complainers. It doesn’t tell us explicitly in the text who they are and what they are complaining about. Rashi brings two views they are either the mixed multitude of Egyptians that joined the people or on the opposite extreme they were the great people of the camp. It doesn’t seem to matter a much. A kvetch is a kvetch. And Hashem doesn’t seem to like Kvetches. It’s something we have in common, God and I JJ. In fact some of the commentaries connect this story to the next text were it describes the Asafsuf this multitude or gathering of people that were complaining about the Manna. They longed for meat. The Torah’s description is that they were Hitavu Taa’va- they desired a desire. Yes, the Manna tasted like anything you wanted. But they seemed to long for that good old Egyptian food. The fish, the pickles, onions and garlic and melons. They wanted steak. Huh? Really?! My memory is not the greatest. But as far as I remember from Pesach seder story. Egypt was not serving anything too remarkable. Think Auschwitz times a million. The Torah itself seems to express it’s shock by telling how delicious the Manna was. Ok maybe it wasn’t Mama Cleopatra’s cooking. But really. It reached an extent this desire for a desire that Jews were literally crying outside of their tents. We’re three days away from Sinai. This is not a good thing.

What makes this story and the previous complaining story so fascinating is Hashem’s response to it. We are told that he sends out a fire and burns up some of the trouble makers. As if to say-you asked for a BBQ- here you got one. And then Moshe himself turns to Hashem and pleads to stop the flames and then is ready to turn in his staff and quit unless Hashem provides meat for the people. Again very very strange. Rule one of dealing with kvetchy people is not to give them what they want. It reinforces their behavior. I’m not saying that you should necessarily fry them. Hashem said that. But don’t go asking for meat for them. Even stranger when Hashem tells Moshe essentially “If that’s what they want-I’ll give them meat in a Divinely passive aggressive like way- until it comes out of their noses for a full month. Moshe pulls out his calculator and starts figuring out if this is really possible. Until Hashem assures him he’s good for his word.
This has to be one of the strangest narratives in the Torah.

Strange gets stranger, when this entire story continues and is seemingly interrupted with Hashem coming down in a cloud of glory and telling Moshe to gather in 70 elders and to they all start to prophesize in the Mishkan and two guys even start prophesizing in the camp. When Yehoshua/Joshua starts getting nervous about this Moshe reassures him that all of the Jewish people could become prophets and it’s a good thing. The screen than flashes back to the camp where people are running around gathering 10 donkey loads of quail that seems to be dropping all over the camp until the party ends after a month with a great plague and blow to the people. In the Torah’s words once again. While the meat was still between their teeth. What a way to go…The story concludes with the naming of the place Kivrot HaTaava- The graves of Desire Because they buried there the nation that had desired. And thus the story concludes.

The 16th century sage of Tzfat, Rabbi Moshe Alshich, in his great work gives some beautiful insights into these puzzling narratives. He suggests that the leaving of Sinai and the intensity of the Spiritual revelation and their existence there, left some of the people overwhelmed. Man is made of meat and is thereby attracted to meat. We like flesh and we like flaysh. Yet we also have a soul, a nefesh that is Divine that is meant to uplift us from our earthly physical meaty pursuits. It started he suggests with the kvetch. It didn’t make a difference what it was. It was the lack of realization of how uplifting our connection with Hashem and our spirituality can be. But once you start kvetching you have distanced yourself from the essence of who we are. We lose our soul and we allow our body to rule us. The punishment of the MisOninim was that a fire came out. The fire of Hashem that was meant to uplift them turned them into ash. Burnt meat without a soul interestingly enough, he notes the place was called the burnt place because of the fire that burnt within them. A message was sent they each have as spark that can be fanned from the inside through holiness.

The next narrative as well he suggests has that same point. The people are asking for desire. Spirituality uplifts it fulfills. It completes a person. They were so used to Egypt. They had memories of the fish and smell of meat that was there and the desire their bodily urges had for it. They were slaves and they were like animals and no matter what garbage the Egyptians would feed them, they experienced it like a ten course meal. For they were meat eating meat. The Midrash suggests that Moshe saw the people crying by their tents about the illicit relations that they were missing out on.  Relationships without the spark of God. Relations that are purely physically driven.

Moshe recognizes that this is not about meat per say as much as it is about a rebooting of that Divine spark. The commentaries note that the Jews had quail falling each day before this story as it says in Shemos. They had plenty of sheep and cattle that they took with them from Egypt. We didn’t leave until we took all of our Shwarmas with us for the road. This was about this natural human drive and connection to his earthly animal side. Remember we were created on the same day of Creation as them. And our need to gather more and more in endless pursuit of desire that can satiate an animal without a Divine soul but can never fulfill and satisfy one created with the image and spirit of Hashem within him. So he tells Hashem that unless he changes things up he can’t lead. Moshe, the man and servant of God, can’t relate to this physical human drive anymore. It’s not his baby. He is sooooo soul whose physical has been so elevated after having gone up to heaven. The meat crisis is meaningless. Give them their meat and they will see and learn that it is not the meat. It’s the kvetch.

Hashem ones up Moshe though by the gathering of the 70 elders and officers. These elders and officers were in Egypt with the people. They put their backs on the line for the nation and took blows for them. They can share that holiness of yours and show them how the same spark rests in all of them. The spark of Moshe. The spark of Hashem. Even in the camp the two people begin to ignite in prophecy. Moshe is ecstatic, the nation of the prophets is born. Sure there are some who still go out and gather their meat. The Midrash suggests that the plague that struck hit each person who partook according to the level that they had sunk. The distance they had fallen. It hit those that couldn’t reboot the spark over the 30 days. The place was named The Grave of Desire because that desire that they sought was buried there. The Jewish nation reignited our soul. It’s not that we didn’t want meat anymore. But we understood that the meat was meant to raise us closer to Hashem.

He concludes his idea with Shabbos chulent. OK, he doesn’t really say the word chulent. But he does note that the 70 elders correspond to our 70 holy days. 52 shabbosos, 8 Days Sukkot, 7 days Pesach, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Shavuot. Each of these days are the times that the heavens open up and the spirit of Hashem comes down to us and reignites us from our daily physical lives. We leave the animal of the week and become the soul of Shabbos and Chagim. We have a mitzva to eat meat on these days (except Yom Kippur of course- but Erev Yom Kippur makes up for it). Because on these days the meat is eaten in honor of our elevated state. In honor of Creator and our purpose. In celebration of what we have become and what we can achieve. On Shabbos the biggest mitzvah is Oneg- enjoyment, pleasure. No kvetching allowed. Which is why it’s important to have a wife that can make a good chulent J. Because with a good chulent we can make the world a better place.

Have a delicious Shabbos,
,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
In honor of Unity Day  and the Gilad, Ayal and Naftali’s Yartzeit-the three martyrs that were murdered last year I give you a beautiful video made by boys in his Yeshiva

This is the song that I composed after the attack “Yizkaraym” the first part was after they were killed I felt it was too down and so around Rosh Hashana I composed the 2nd part which is more upbeat and filled with hope.

On a lighter note The late Late show James Corde visits a Kosher Butcherin Chicago-Good Shabos!

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
While in the states I picked up a great book with yiidsh quotes and wisdom and I have always wanted to teach my kids Yiddish so here we go each week another great proverb in yiddish maybe you guys will learn it too!!

Geshmak iz der fish oif yenems tish.”- Tasty is the fish from someone else’s table.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FAVORITE QUOTES  OF THE WEEK
If God had not intended us to eat animals why did he make them out of meat?”.
John Cleese
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.”- Fran Lebowitz
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
(New exam this week these questions are from the most recent tour guide exam-let’s see how I do)
answer below at end of Email
Three rivers that form the largest watershed/drainage basin in Israel are?
A.    Kziv, Betzet, Na’aman
B.     Ayalon, Tzin, Kishon
C.     Jordan, Yarmouk, Yarkon
D.    Arava, Paran, Basor
.RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL MIDRASH OF THE WEEK
You know that question we ask by the Seder “Who knows 5?” well according to the Midrash this week the answer is not the 5 Book of the Torah, because the Midrash suggests that there are in fact 7 Books of the Torah. Which would be a better answer to “Who knows 7?” than the days of the Week. This week we in fact read from three of those books. We conclude the first Book of Bamidbar which goes up to the upside down letter “Nun” and then we read the verses that are familiar to everyone which is generally sung in fun synagogues like ours of Vayehi Binsoa Aron when when the Ark traveled Moshe would say Kuma Hashem-Rise up up Hashem and our enemies should flee from before us. And which includes with the verses of when the Ark would rest Moshe would invite Hashem to return to dwell amongst the 10’s of thousands of Israel. We than encounter another upside down “Nun”. And begin the next Book of the Torah until the conclusion of Bamidbar. To prove that this is its own Book the midrash notes that just as the first Pasuk of the Torah contains seven words the first Pasuk here does as well. Additionaly the Torah concludes with 12 words in its last verse and with the word Yisrael as does the end of this “Book” Even more mystically Rabbeinu Bachaya notes that this portion has the secret and essense of the entire world containing the idea that Hashem’s presence will go out to the world and the Jewish people will be the source of that blessing. He notes that the letter Alef appears 7 times which corresponds to what Kabbala tells us will be 7 thousand years of the plan of Creation. As Alef is the Hebrew word for 1000. The first 6000 until the world will reach its fulfillment and the 7 thousand Shabbos when it will be destroyed and rebuilt. Just as in the first verse of the Torah has 6 Alefs and then is followed by the verse and the land was empty and bare. Pretty cool. Huh?
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL THINGS TO DO IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Shoot Guns –Personally I have yet to shoot a gun. Although I’ve been at ranges here too many times to count with my tourists. Most kids and many adults feel this is one of the coolest things they can do on their trip here. See in America not too many people would consider going to a shooting range certainly not with their younger children or even teen age daughters. Yet being surrounded by soldiers all week along wherever you go in this country gives people some inspiration. Even those that have gone to ranges in the States certainly don’t think about shooting M16’s or Uzi’s. Yet here in the wonderful State of Israel, you can! And your kids can do. Interestingly enough Israeli citizens need a license to do this, but tourists just need a passport. (If you left yours in the hotel-I’m quite adept at looking at your face and Kabbalisticaly intuiting your passport number-just one of those skills I picked up J). There are some places that you can shoot target practice others, that have full blown counter-terrorism training programs and others where you just play paintball. Either way its definitely cool and you get to take your target home with you and show your friends back in the States. And that of course is most important of all to us tour guides that like referrals. Why haven’t I shot yet? I have nothing against it-I just remember how King David couldn’t build them Temple because he was a man of war who defended and saved the Jewish people in our Battles. And I kind of want to build the Temple. But I have been playing with the idea, specially if it ever gets dangerous in this country-maybe even as dangerous as New York, Chicago or Detroit. Yeah for you guys heading back to the dangerous places shooting a gun is a good skill to have.
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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S  LANGUAGE JOKES OF THE WEEK
Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef jerky.

Q: What do you call a cow with no front legs?
A: Lean Beef

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

 Q: What do you call a cow that has 2 legs?
 A: Side of beef

 Q: What do you call a cow that has 1 leg?
 A: Steak 

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
 A: The calf-eteria.

This was a real blog conversation I found while doing extensive research on Beef Jokes and I quote
“I’d make a meat pun, but I ‘d probably butcher it..”
“At least it wasn’t a sausage joke. Those are the werst”
“Wurst spelling ever”
“Stop being such a weenie. Anyone could have made that mis-steak”
“Don’t be so apologetic you brat”
“I’m following this thread to stay-abreast of these puns”
“Good, I’ll be your wing-man”
“Great that way I won’t be a loin”
“He won’t support him, he’s full of bologna”
“That’s pretty cleaver”
“I’m bacon you to stop this thread already”
“C’mon, we’re just hamming around you”
“let’s try to keep this Kosher shall we?”
And on and on and on… oy what I won’t endure for you guys!
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Answer is D: This is a rough question. First what is a watershed/drainage basin. No it is not what our bathroom in shul looked like this past week although we did have a flood. It is basically where all the surface waters join join together into a lower elevation point. Now that you know this, the next thing you need to know is where all these rivers are or where the largest drainage basin is. The rivers kziv and betzet are familiar to me in the north west Galile.Naaman I never heard of but its actually not far from house in the lower galilee. Ayalon is near Beit Shemesh, Kishon is near Mt. Carmel and Tzin is in the Negev. Those are not close to one another so I imagine they can’t form the same water basin. Similarly Yarmouk and Jordan are together by the Jordan river but Yarkon near Tel Aviv isn’t so that rules out that one. But if you knew the geology of Israel than you would know of course that the Arava under The Dead Sea that gathers all the water from the Negev is the largest valley in Israel and the three rivers that flow there are Paran and Arava and the largest being the Basor. Which I didn’t know and would never have guessed. This was a hard question. That I got wrong. Thank God most Tourists don’t care about this information. Although it’s cool to share if you’re out there driving hours down to Eilat without much else to talk about…