Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile
Showing posts with label meat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meat. Show all posts

Friday, August 6, 2021

The Last Chulent- Parshat Re'eh 5781 /2021

 

Insights and Inspiration

                                                                       from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

August 6th 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 43 28th Av

Parshat Re'eh

The Last Chulent

(Check out the link to my latest Mishpacha tour article below!)

                                                                              

There a few life-changing Shabossos that one has in their lives. In my life there are a few that will always stand out. The first of course was my Bar Mitzva Shabbos. It doesn't really get more life-changing than that. In one weekend I was transformed from a boy to someone who was supposed to start behaving like a man. I don't know if that ever really happened, so perhaps it's more accurate to say that I became responsible for my actions, my sins, my mitzvos, my obligations at least as far as heaven was concerned. Life-changing. I was no longer the same person as I was before that.

 Fast forward from that Shabbos about 10 years or so and I stood up there at the Bima again and they pelted me with candies as they did 10 years prior. This was my Shabbos Aufruf or Shabbat Chatan as they call it here. The coming week I would be a married man. Life would no longer just be about me. I would now have somebody else in my life to worry about me… I mean to worry about them J… It was heavy. It was intense. My bachelor party days were over. And despite being a fairly frum yeshiva guy I had an awfully good time.  I learned in Lakewood … remember. Would I ever have fun again? Would I frum out? Am I really capable of being there emotionally, materially, spiritually for another person? For her? It was scary and certainly life-changing. Schwartzy the yeshiva guy's life was certainly over.

 The next two Shabbosos really go together. The first was the Shabbos that my wife told me that she was pregnant a year or so after we were married. That was scary. This marriage thing was for real now. We officially have baggage now if it doesn't work out. Not that there were any problems, questions, doubts or surprises for me that first year. There never is any Shana Rishona which is always idyllic…. Uh huh. Remember that Yonah and Batya. But this was terrifying. There's going to be someone in my life that I'm supposed to be a role model for. That is supposed to look up to me. That I will probably have to pay a lot of money for therapy for if I mess up. When I met Shani for the first time it was even scarier. Because she was so cute and so precious. What did she do wrong in a previous life to get stuck with a Dad like me?

 When Yonah came along- and he was actually born on Shabbos it was even more scary. His Bris was on Shabbos and I'll never forget thinking what a precious gift Hashem has entrusted me with. Does He really know what he's doing leaving this precious little neshoma in my hand? My mother asked the same question by the way when she saw him… But the truth is Thank God for my wife who was and is really good at this parenting thing. And therapy really isn't as expensive as I had thought anyways. So it all turned out good.

 Yet of all of the life-changing Shabboses in my life this Shabbos is perhaps the most dramatic and terrifying for me. See, all the other ones were really emotional or status changing life transitions that came with new and different expectations, hopes and dreams. This Shabbos though is the first in my life where my life will be changing physically in a real significant way. It is the Shabbos that I have aptly named the Shabbos of the Last Chulent.

 Now I know that sounds very melodramatic. And it is. But that 's the way that I deal with things. You see, this coming Tuesday I will be going under the knife – laparoscopically of course, just continuing to be melodramatic- and having the gastric bypass stomach surgery, something I made fun of for years and that I swore I could never see myself doing. Well you know how they say that someday you're going to have to eat those words. Well it seems, that words are pretty much the only thing I'm going to be eating for a while.  Now I know that I will eventually be able to eat chulent and even most other things eventually once again in a lot of months or year, but it won't be the same. What the surgery does is pretty much leave you with a stomach the size of about an egg. From what I have heard from most of the people I have spoken to that have done it, after a half a piece of gefilte fish, a few spoons of soup, a half a drumstick or a wing or two and a sliver of kugel and a spoon or two of farfel they feel stuffed. One guy told me that after a quarter of a small bowl of chulent he feels like he ate two shwarmas. I told him that I can easily knock off three, Fuggedabout, the three of four platefuls of chulent I can easily put down on a Shabbos… And that's after the salatim soaked up with half a loaf of Challa, kugels, liver and what's for dessert thank-you-very-much. Yes, this is going to be life-changing.

 Before Corona I never really felt the need for this surgery. The truth is I never really felt that my overweight-ness or obesity hampered me at all. I was touring and running around the country every day. I was active climbing, hiking and running all over the place. Sure I knew that it was a health risk and that certainly I have plenty of lousy genes in my family that increased my risk of things I don't even want to think about and pretty much ignored. Yet, I felt fine and I was young right? At least at heart and in spirit. And the truth is I still feel that way, except that now it's only in spirit. The body has become a drag and it's not fun. And after a few friends of mine underwent scary health stuff- and they're in twice the better shape than I am- I realized the time had finally come. My eating life was over. I had nice long 50 year run and probably ate more chulent than most people have in three lifetimes.

 I know what you're thinking. Why don't you just go a diet. Uh huh… Been there- done that. I probably lost more weight in my life then my whole family weighs put together and Shani is due any day now IYH… Losing weight is easy I've done it a million times. The problem is that after you hit that plateau and nothing is coming off anymore and you still have plenty to go and you're still crunching on those carrots and passing up on the Pizza it just feels like a "waist" of time- pun intended. It's time for something dramatic. And so this Shabbos will be my last "real" Shabbos meal for a long time; at least as I have defined it until now. With my urging my wife of course has been cooking all week.

 Now as I always do at this point in the week, I open up the Torah portion and check out Hashem's always timely message that he has for me. It's why we have Parshat Ha'Shavua, to look in the Torah and read what Hashem feels we need to hear this week. And what do you know. This week's Torah portion providentially enough is probably the one with the biggest menu in the Torah. The Parsha which begins with Moshe urging us to take life seriously by looking at the blessing and curse that Hashem has laid out for us when we either follow or alternatively god forbid disobey the Torah quickly moves to the dramatic change that occurs to our our nation when we come to the land of Israel.

 However, in every desire of your soul, you may slaughter and eat meat in all your cities, according to the blessing of the Lord, your God, which He gave you; the unclean and the clean may eat thereof, as of the deer, and as of the gazelle.

 In the wilderness we could only eat sacrificial meat. In the holy land we can slaughter and redeem sacrifices that have been blemished and eat them. It then continues and tells us that really any Kosher meat can be eaten.

 When Hashem, your God, expands your boundary, as He has spoken to you, and you say, "I will eat meat," because your soul desires to eat meat, you may eat meat, according to every desire of your soul. If the place the Lord, your God, chooses to put His Name there, will be distant from you, you may slaughter of your cattle and of your sheep, which the Lord has given you, as I have commanded you, and you may eat in your cities, according to every desire of your soul.

 There's a lot of desire there it seems for the Torah and the Torah in fact sanctions and blesses it. This is in fact the verse in the Torah that is the source for the commandment to slaughter animals.  But it's not just steaks, burgers and shwarmas that the parsha concerns itself this week. It gets into the kosher birds we can eat and even the delicious fish with fins and scales that we can have with chrain and mayonnaise before we eat our chicken soup with juicy chicken pipiklach in them and of course those turkey cold cuts. Yeah… This week is the Parsha of the last Schwartz supper and Hashem has prepared a menu for me to remember.

 Yet as I read this menu, I think to myself how incredible our Torah and Judaism is. Our religion, the blessing and our lives are built around food. The first sin of Adam was eating the wrong thing and as our job in this earth is to rectify that sin by eating only that which is permitted to us. While we are in the wilderness before coming to the land of Israel we could only do that through partaking in sacrifices that had been consecrated; at least if you wanted to eat flayshigs- and who are we fooling that's the only real type of meal that counts. Upon coming into Israel we have become so elevated that our bellies themselves are like temples and altars. Our desire for food and meat is like that of the Mizbayach, it is as the desire of Hashem is for sacrifices.

 I'm reminded of the story of one of the Chasidic Rebbis (maybe it was the Tolner?) that before 1948 would regularly got to Kever Rachel and pour out his heart to Hashem in the merit of Mama Rachel. Yet after we lost access to it in the war of independence he was no longer able to come. When in 1967 it was once again liberated and Israeli control, the Rebbi returned with all of his chasidim for the first time in 19 years. Before entering though the Rebbi told his students to set up a large table laden with all the best delicacies for the Tish that he would hold before entering. He explained to his perplexed Chasidim that he did this because every Jewish child know that there is nothing that gives a Jewish Mother ore nachas then feeding her children and knowing that they are well-fed. My mother always particularly pleased with me it seems. Similarly, Hashem desires that we eat well. And if we do so and appreciate our body as one that is giving pleasure to Hashem in our eating then we have truly joined heaven and earth in the holiest way.

 At the same time though this Parsha of food gives us one major warning that it repeats as well.

 However, be strong not to eat the blood, for the blood is the soul; and you shall not eat the soul with the flesh.

 Frankly I do like my meat a little on the rare side. It's best when it's a juicy steak. Yet blood is something I really do not have a desire for. Interestingly enough Rashi brings two opinions about this blood prohibition that the Torah seems to feel the need to accentuate to us with the extra heeding of "Be strong". The opinion of Rebbi Yehudah is that the Jews have a natural propensity for foreign cuisine. We have kosher Italian, French, Indian, Japanese, Chinese and even Vietnamese restaraunts and that's on one block alone in Flatbush, Monsey and Lakewood Ir Hakodesh. In Israel they even have Ethiopian restaraunts although I don't know why. I thought there were just starving people there that would die if I didn't finish what was on my plate. So in the same way the gentiles back then ate blood food and Hashem was warning us not to get sucked into or start sucking on that to be precise.

 Rebbi Shimon Ben Azzai though tells us that most people don't like blood, the Torah is using this as an extreme example to teach us that if for the not eating of blood which we have no natural desire for we have to be careful, how much more so do we have to be careful about observing commandments that we have a natural predilection to violate.

The Gaon of Vilna though and his student Reb Chaim Volozhin though see in the end of the verse the essence of the Torah's exhortation. We should be careful not to eat our "souls" with our "flesh". Food can become an obsession. Food is meant to bring and raise our souls up however if we become to engrossed in the desire-desire-desire that the Torah repeats in permitting and even blessing us with its consummation than we can easily slide down that gastrointestinal tract to swallowing our souls up with the steaks. It becomes just about the food. It becomes just about my pleasure. We've forgotten that it's an offering to Hashem we are sanctifying. We're fressing like the Goyim according to Rebbi Yehuda, and according to Rebbi Shimon this can happen with all of the Mitzvos that we do that we enjoy as well. It's about us. It's about our belly and enjoyment and the fun and the deliciousness of it all. It's become feel-good Judaism and rather than the Feel- God Judaism it's meant to be.

 When I had my initial consultation with the surgeon he asked me if I felt that I could keep the eating regimen that the post-operation lifestyle would entail; basically eating really tiny portions of nothing for the rest of my life. I told him that of course I didn't. If I felt that I had the self-control on my own to keep that type of diet long term than I wouldn't do the surgery in the first place. The reason why I was doing the surgery was because from what I understood that once you did it you really were unable to "pack it in" like I do now. But the truth is, I told the doctor. I always intellectually and perhaps even spiritually wanted to be the person that could slowly eat and taste their food, chewing on each bite slowly and savoring the tastes and flavors of each smile bite and enjoying it and being satisfied with that, rather than just inhaling my plate as I do today. It's my hope that this process will enable me to become that type person. A person who is not swallowing his soul, but is living and appreciating Hashem and His goodness in every bite that He blesses us with. To truly experience V'Achalta, V'Savata u'veirachta- to eat even a mere kzayis and feel satisfied with it enough to thank Hashem for.

We enter the month of Elul this Shabbos. It's a month when we begin to engage in the process of teshuva. The Torah describes that work as one of being U'maltem es orlas livavchem- to circumcise the foreskin of our hearts. Our hearts are pure. We've got lots of build-up on them; a lot of extra weight that we need to remove. Our spiritual arteries are getting clogged up. I have a long way to go until I get to the spiritual heart operation, yet perhaps by starting with what's on my plate every day and elevating each bite, just as my physical heart's chances for a healthy life will be much better, my spiritual hearts will as well. As this is my first surgery ever in my life if you can keep my name Ephraim Ben Esther Baila in your prayers this coming Tuesday it would mean a lot to me. Also don't get nervous if you don't hear from me next week… I might take a brief recovery hiatus.

 Have a deliciously healthy Shabbos and spiritually healthy Rosh Chodesh Elul

 Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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WE'RE BACK IN MISHPACHA MAGAZINE AGAIN!!!

Check out Rabbi Schwartz'es latest

TANACH TOUR OF THE JEZRE"EL VALLEY

Read and see the great stories of the books of the prophets come alive in this amazing tour

https://mishpacha.com/the-hills-are-alive-2/

 

While you're at it be sure to catch up on all of my videos over there and other amazing tours you may have missed

https://mishpacha.com/contributors/rabbi-ephraim-schwartz/

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Faran dareh gvirim un fetch oremeleit.." – There are plenty of riche people that are skinny and poor ones that are fat.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

40) The beginning of Torah reading every year is in:

A) Rosh Hashana

B) Yom Kippur

C) Simchat Torah

D) Celebration of giving of the Torah – Shavuot

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/pMEWEC9UfQk   – Check out this fantastic Sampler video of my dear friend and arranger Dovid Lowy (who sang by Yonah's wedding) for his latest Acoustic album. Awesome!! I've been listening to the album all week…

https://youtu.be/Cb5_V11Uauk    – Yaakov Shwekey's got a new exciting video out this week as well. Yavo Ha'Yom- He really is the king of cool videos that tell a story and brings the song to life.

 

https://youtu.be/DPF7oV8vCBo - Ari Goldwag though is certainly the king of the funnest Jewish music videos with so many having over a million hits. Get in early on this latest one Yesh Li Ha'Kol…

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/mi-adir    -  And for those of you that missed last week. Here's my Son Yonah's composition that was played for his Chuppa…beautiful Mi Adir aung and arranged by Dovid Lowy!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

The Blessing of the Curse – Parshat Re'eh- There is a famous rule our Rabbis tell us that Eretz Yisrael is only acquired with tribulations- yissurim. There's no such thing as an easy Aliyah. There will always be challenges. In fact, it's not only Eretz Yisrael, but our sages tell us that there were three things that were given to us as a present however they were only given with yissurim and that list includes Torah and Olam Ha'bah- the world to come. The question of course begs itself of why is this necessary. What type of gift is it if Hashem tells us that he's going to give us all types of pains and troubles to receive it.

 The truth is that very question as well applies to the first verse in this week's parsha which as well as last week repeatedly talks about the specialness of our holy Land and the gift, inheritance and final resting place it will serve for our nation. The Parsha begins with Moshe telling us

 "Re'eh hinei anochi nosein lifneyche hayom bracha v'klala- See that I give before you today blessing and curse.

 The bracha is if we listen to the mitzvos and commandments and if we don't listen it will be a curse. The question is though once again the terminology of "giving you" seems like it would be a present and what type of present is a curse.

 The answer though is that the curse and the tribulations are as well all blessing and they are the means of us being able to receive the gifts Hashem has for us. A gift's value is always predicated on the receiver's appreciation of it. For example if someone gives a vegetarian a nice delicious juicy steak or a good big bowl of meaty chulent it won't really do anything for them. If one gives an adult a new set of lego, if one gives a child a set of Shas or a large set of books as well, they want to know if they can have the receipt to return it. Yet if one gave me the steak, or the sefarim I would be delighted. It would be amazing!

 Similarly Eretz Yisrael, Torah and the World to Come are such lofty spiritual gifts that unless we are on the proper spiritual maturity level they would be meaningless to us. So what Hashem does is that he builds us up. He gives us yissurim- he makes it difficult. We have to work for us. We have to receive the curse and see Hashem in that and still persevere, still say we want it, still sing Ani Maamin. Recite the words that King David writes that we will begin reciting every day this month.

 Achas Sho'alti Me'eis Hashem- I have one request from You Hashem.

Shivti B'veis Hashem Kol Yemei Chayai- All I want is to dwell within Your home my entire life.

 Each time we say this. Each time we overcome the challenges before us we grow higher and higher spiritually and our appreciation of that great present of Eretz Yisrael, Torah, and the Wrold to come becomes greater and greater.

 Thus Moshe tell us that we should look at the tremendous gifts Hashem has given us through the blessing and the curse. The blessing is of course the land and the curse that he gives us raises us up to appreciate it and receive it on the highest levels. So when you move here and if you are already here keep this idea in mind. All of the blessing and curses you experience here are from Him. It's just making our present greater and greater.                                                                                                             

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Dovid Reconciles- 840 BC – A good leader is one who is willing to put his personal agenda's aside and one who recognizes that his job is to unite and bring together the people and nation he represents. The failures of most political leaders is when they are furthering their own self-interests instead. Dovid exemplifies putting the people first and particularly as he brings together the nation.

 His first move is to send word to his own tribe that with Avshalom's downfall it was time for them to welcome him back and take their fellow landsman back as their King. Sure enough they came around. As well he took Ammasah who had been Yoav's general and replaced Yoav with him making him the new general and in effect pardoning him for his part in the rebellion. This would of course raise consternation in Yoav and eventually would lead to both of their downfalls.

 Next on the list was Shimi'I ben Geira who came with Ziva and Mepiboshes, Shaul's servant and his son and 1000 Benjaminites. They as well implored Dovid to forgive them. Shimi'i. explained away his dissent by stating that it was his impression that Dovid had lost the kingdom because of his sin and it was his obligation to back up Avshalom. Mepiboshes told Dovid that he wanted to come but he was tricked by Ziva who told him that he shouldn't come and being a cripple he had no way of getting there. Dovid assured both of them that he would not avenge himself on them. Although in Mepiboshes's case he does give half his possessions to Ziva, because he was still skeptical of his intentions. For this, the midrash tells us, Dovid's kingdom itself will eventually be divided after Shlomo's rule. Don't listen to Lashon Hara is the lesson here.

 Dovid as well rewards the son of Barzilai Ha'Giladi and brings him back to Jerusalem with him. With Dovid's return the Jewish people rally around him. However like most good things in Dovid's life it doesn't last for long. Next week we discuss the next rebellion of Sheva ben Bichri. 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAT AND SKINNY JOKES OF THE WEEK

Berel the portly chasid walks out of a big Shul Kiddush and turns to his skinny friend Yanky who just arrived and says: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"
Without blinking an eye Yanky responds  "when they look at you, they know why"

What did the skinny cow shed farmer say to his wife? I need to whey more

As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans. I find it very difficult to pull it off.

My wife turned to me the other day and said, "You are so skinny.". Then she grabbed me by the love handles and said, "Just look at all this skin.

I am an obese man identifying as a skinny man...I am trans-fat.

I also  have a morbidly obese friend, but he identifies as skinny. He’s trans slender

What do you call a skinny Palestinian cow? A moo-slim

Everyone in my family has extremely skinny legs, so we all have to have our pants custom made. It's terribly expensive. It's those lousy skinny genes.

My son was depressed because of his obesity. "Trust me," I told him, "skinny people get down too."

"Not when you're on a see-saw with them," he said

Rachel told Leah that she decided to go on a diet. That evening when she called, Leah could hear that her mouth was full, so she asked what her sister was eating.

"A cupcake," Rachel mumbled.

“I thought you just started your diet,” said Leah.

"I did. But I got on the scale, and it read 149 1/2 pounds. I decided that was no place to start a diet, so I’m rounding it off to 150."

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live a long life. What should I do?"

"I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies. "Let's see, do you smoke?"

"Oh.. Half a pack a day."

"Starting NOW, no more smoking." The man agrees.

The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"

"Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while."

 "Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions."

The man is a bit upset, but also agrees. The doctor asks, "How do you eat?"

 "Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff."

 "Starting now you are going on a very strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese."

 The man is now really worried. "Doc, is all this really necessary?"

"Do you want to live long?" "Yes." "Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet."

The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?"

The doctor replies "I have no idea, but however long you live, I assure you is going to seem like an eternity!

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Answer is C- This one is a freebie for any frum tour guide and the truth is even secular Israelis generally should know the answer to this question, although I wouldn't be surprised if some got this wrong. Now what this has to tour guiding, I have no idea… but I'll take the freebie. So Simchas Torah is of course the correct answer. If you didn't know that, it's time to go back to school…or yeshiva.  So the score is 32 for Rabbi Schwartz and 8 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

Thursday, March 18, 2021

The Meat Too Movement- Parshat Vayikra 2021 /5781

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

March 19th 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 23 6th Nissan 5781

 Parshat Vayikra

 The Meat Too Movement

I'm thinking, cow; a nice tenderloin, juicy, medium rare slice of prime rib. It's been a while since I've had a good slice. The Purim Seuda doesn't count OK… Once upon a time when tourists used to come to Israel, I would eat out all the time with "my people". Part of the Eretz Yisrael chavaya is feeding your favorite Rabbi/ tour guide. It's not exactly like feeding the animals at the zoo, despite the very similar satisfied smile and grunts of approval. You can't actually pet me while I'm eating. But I will definitely entertain you during the meal nonetheless. If you're lucky I might even sing you a song I composed. A nice steak and glass of wine brings that out in me.

These days though it's been lots of leftovers. Probably more than I've ever eaten since I moved here. Don't get me wrong I love my wife's cooking; it was one of the main reasons I married her. That and her Yiras Shamayim of course and her tremendous wisdom and foresight to saying yes when I proposed to her, unlike all of those other girls that lost out. Happy 27th anniversary dear, by the way- a week late... Oops.

 In fact, I even love her leftovers as much as I love her fresh cooked meals. Chulent gets better with every cooking, my decades long scientific research has proven. But I miss the whole prime rib- cow-on-a-plate experience. There's nothing like the smell of a good BBQ. The roasting flesh of a warm blooded animal has an aroma that just gets all those gastrointestinal juices flowing. To think this cow spent his or her whole life grazing on grass, 'prime'-ing himself for this special moment when he could serve as a vehicle for a Jew like me to thank Hashem for the delicious animals He gave us. This week's E-mail is not for ideological vegetarians by the way. Probably not for other kinds of vegetarians either. Probably most weeks E-Mails aren't as well. You should probably just unsubscribe now. Or just skip to the jokes.

Now if you think I'm being over-passionate about meat then you should probably unsubscribe from the next book of the Torah that we are beginning this Shabbos of Vayikra, because it seems that Hashem is pretty much into prime rib as well. See, there are no vegetable or soy sacrifices. Sure there's some flour and pastry like sacrifices, but that’s just for the poor folk that can't afford a shwarma, Real men bring that special rayach nichoach- that sweet smelling BBQ beef that Hashem loves so much. Once in a while you can bring some of our fine feathered friends as well up for an offering to Hashem. Variety is important. But as you readers know, chicken chulent is never going to win any prizes in the Schwartz family. In fact next Shabbos when everyone will be eating just a meat and potato pesachdik chulent without any of the distractive beans and barley is the one my family looks forward the most to the entire year.

Truth be told though, it really is quite interesting this whole animal sacrifice thing. I mean, what is it really about? Hashem certainly doesn't require any BBQ's. He's not out for our steaks. The prophets repeatedly tell us not to get confused about this. We are not sacrificing or feeding hungry gods. That's paganism. So why does the slaughtering of animals and the burning them on the mizbayach play such an essential role in the Torah with at least 20% of the Torah teaching and telling us about it. Right from the beginning with Cain and Abel, through Noach and all of our forefathers really until the end we are told about how essential these korbanos are in getting close to God. In all of our prayers we ask Hashem to return us to those days when we will once again be able to bring these offerings. What's wrong with prayer, meditation, even learning Torah and doing kind deeds and other mitzvos? Why do animals have to die for us to get close to Hashem and really perfect our service of Him?

I heard an incredible story this week from my dear friend and Mishpacha editor Sruli Besser of his grandfather the noted askan Reb Chatzkel Besser. {Yes I still write and video for the magazine despite the short few month hiatus through all these lockdowns, stay tuned right after Pesach for my next two upcoming articles and videos- the most exciting yet!}. It was after the Holocaust and he was approached by a survivor who required his assistance. It seems that this man who had suffered in the concentration camps had been receiving reparations for years from the German government. The only problem was that he had "fudged" a few of the details in order to be eligible. Maybe it was his age or country of origin. Whatever… He needed the money to live after the war and felt that after all he had suffered he was entitled to receiving compensation. He didn't feel guilty at all.

 Regardless it seems that those punctilious Germans finally caught up with him. They had told him that he needed to come down to the consulate and that not only were they stopping payment on his monthly reparations checks, but he they were demanding that he make back payment for the 15 years that he had been receiving the money. He didn't have the greatest English and he had come to ask Reb Chatzkel what he should do. How would he be able to get out of this. Reb Chatzkel reassured him that he had nothing to fear and that he would accompany him to the meeting.

As they sat down with the consul who glared at them and threw accusation after accusation at this poor survivor Rabbi Besser began to speak.

"You accuse this man of being a liar and of falsifying information, but I first would like to ask you a question. When he was a young boy, he was brought to the camp and saw two lines form as people were being divided. He was asked by the Commandant glaring over the prisoners as they dismounted from the train whether he was older than 16 or not. He somehow intuited that if he was younger than 16 he would not be allowed to live and would be sent to his death, so he stood up straight and lied and was sent to the line for those that were able to work."

"A few weeks later an officer came into the Barracks and said that they were looking for electricians. If anyone had experience or had worked as an electrician they should step forward. Now, Yankel- let's call him that, barely knew what a positive or negative wire looked like. He was all of fourteen and was a cheder boy. But he understood that to be an electrician meant that he would live. So Yankel stepped forward and told them assuredly that he was a great electrician and had apprenticed as well to be one. It was a lie, but they believed him and he survived.

There was another time one day when he was walking around in the camp and he saw that there was a treasure on the floor. It wasn't gold, or diamonds, they weren't worth much in the camps. It was a ration of bread that someone had dropped that was seemed to have fallen in the bushes. Those were the treasures of the camps where people died of starvation daily. He quickly crouched down to pick it up when suddenly a guard caught him and asked him if the bread was his. Once again Yankel knew that the wrong-but true answer to the guard's question would end his life. He knew what he needed to do in order that one day he would be able to get out in one piece from this gehenom. So he lied. He said it was his own ration that he had dropped. Miraculously the guard believed him and let him go."

"Now I ask you Herr Consul," Rabbi Besser told the German government representative. "You're upset at this man because he lied to you; because he was dishonest? Who do you think taught him that to lie is to survive? Where do you think he developed those skills that you are now holding against him? Before what your people did to him, this person was a holy, pious young boy that would never lie. You made him this way. Now you cannot hold it against him!!"

Rabbi Besser would say this story over by the Pesach Seder as he would interpret the words we recite describing what the Egyptians did to us homiletically. The verse says

Vaya're'u osanu- which literally means and they were bad to us, from the word 'ra'-evil. Yet the word can also be read as va'yarey'u- they became our friends- like the mitzva v'ahavta l'rayacha kamocha- love your friend like yourself. They exposed us to a way of life that turned us into them. That taught and trained us in all of the abominations and idolatry that they engaged in. They made us into who we were never meant to be. To leave that world we had to bring a sacrifice. We had to take that evil and the lies and false gods that we had served and even identified with and slaughter them. The statement we were making before our Creator and the world that judges us is that it wasn’t me. It was that foreign influence. It was the blood out there- outside of my doorpost that made me do it. But my soul is holier. My soul is not an animal one. Mine can reveal Hashem's presence in this world and can elevate it all. That statement and that BBQ redeemed us. It showed us who we really were and what was never really us.

The essence of all the animal sacrifices is really the same concept. When we sin we come to Hashem with an animal. We shecht that animal and roast that meat and recognize that all of the distance we have had from Hashem is really because there is the warm blooded animal part of us or as the Kabbalists refer to as the nefesh ha'behami, that has dominated us. It has taken the steering wheel from the hands of the holy neshoma inside of us. It made us think that's who we are. That's all we are. Highly developed mammals. It's the "Meat Too" movement.

The service of Hashem tells us that we need to slaughter that concept. Every step of getting closer to Hashem, every lifecycle event, every unintentional sin, every holiday, every bonding with the Almighty comes back down to shechting a bit of the animal. Sometimes we eat the cow, sometimes we give it all to Hashem, sometimes we share that flayshig meal with the Kohen too. By the sin offerings we don't partake we are making the statement that we were too dominated by our animal side. By other sacrifices we are allowed to eat from the offering because we are shaleim- we are whole and have elevated that animal side and properly allowed it to be guided by the neshoma. But the one constant that remains is that we are recognizing that the animal is being slaughtered.

Perhaps even more revealing is that unlike most of the laws of the Temple that are only done by the priest. The slaughtering of the animal is kosher when it is done by the layman as well. Everyone has that little bit of animal that tries to disconnect us from Hashem and be guided by our purely physical drives and desires and we each have the power to slaughter it. The sweet smell of the BBQ is perhaps the smell of those false ideas going up in flames. It is the Jew recognizing that we have a higher purpose. It was them; that force that kept us down. But now we want to rise back up. That is the rayach nichoach that Hashem loves smelling. That is the sweet smell of the Bait Hamikdash grill.

This morning the Schwartz family had a simcha. My Einikel, Yoel Eliyahu, had his upsherin his first haircut at three years old. Now his birthday was a few weeks ago, but my daughter, it seems, wasn't ready to part with his cute little curls yet. I guess for new mothers this is like the final cutting of the umbilical cord. I told her husband that it's a good thing she wasn't in charge of his bris! We took him to the cheder where the Rebbi placed honey on the letters of the aleph bet for him and he licked off each one. He asked him where his eyes were and then told him that his eyes were there to learn Torah with. Where his ears were-and told him that they were there to read the holy words of our texts. His mouth was given to him to study and teach its words day and night- I added and to eat chulent with. He then noted that the first words of Torah we learn with a child is the first pasuk of the book of Vayikra; this week's Torah portion. We start them off with the portion of the sacrifices.

 The first lesson we teach our children as they start to talk, is that they have reached the age when they are no longer part of the animal kingdom. That power of speech that we have been given differentiates us from them. It reveals that spark of Hashem inside of us. Until age three baby children are not very different from a baby sheep. They grunt for food, they eat frolic and play and they are driven by their instincts. When we cut their hair and teach them the sweetness of Torah and they begin to make the blessings we teach them that we are not like them. The animal kingdom was given to us to elevate and bring us closer to Hashem. We have been redeemed from Egypt. Hashem showed us we are different than the nations. We are there to lift them up as well.  Cute little Nadiv the Kohen of the 1st grade class where we took him, was called up by the Rebbi to give our Yoel his priestly blessing.

Yevarecha Hashem V'yishmeracha- may Hashem bless you and watch over you

Ya'eir Hashem panav eilecha vichunencha- May Hashem shine His countenance upon you and show you grace.

Yisa Hashem panav eileicha, v'yaseim lecha shalom- May Hashem shine His face upon you and place upon you peace.

A tear rolled down my eye. My cute little meatball of an einikel was now a boy. Not a hamburger. Not even a steak or a piece of flanken in a chulent. He is our little tzadik. He will elevate the entire world with those brachos he makes. May Hashem bless him and all of the Jewish children with only peace and may this Pesach we merit to realize that prayer and blessing that we say by the seder cup of wine that we drink, that we merit to eat from the zevachim and the Pesach sacrifices in the Temple in Jerusalem rebuilt.

Have a real festeh flayshigeh Shabbos!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" A shtik fleish mit tsvei oygn.."- The piece of meat with two eyes" (Jewish insult)

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

20) The Church of the Holy Sepulcher was extensively damaged by the:

A) Mamluks

B) Ayyubids

C) Ummayads

D) Fatimids

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 

https://youtu.be/DZyJhRgpwCQ   – ThankYouHashem- great Yiddish song remake and story by Lipa- Yiddish with ENGLISH subtitles-wish more Yiddish songs did this

https://youtu.be/prTs2rH8Ihg - Mordechai Shapiro's latest release Vehi She'amda like you've never heard it before

 

https://youtu.be/7yu9lnkJ-hw  - Ilan by Yitz Waldner with Yaakov Shwekey duet composed for Shlomie Werdigers' 70'th birthday..

 

https://youtu.be/JjRSBBu2El0   - Wake up Yidden by 8th Day fresh and fun!

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 Together – Vayikra- Sometimes the placement of a Midrash and it's questions, answers that it brings up at first glance seem unrelated to the subject matter of the verse that it is written about. Yet, those midrashim are perhaps the most fun to really take a second look at and try to figure out the connection. For they were placed there specifically to make that connection and when you find it there is a message that can be drawn from it that is just amazing.

 In this week's parsha of the sacrifices by the laws of the Korban Olah V'yoreid that is brought for the sin of coming into the Temple while in a state of impurity, the midrash asks what is the law about entering the Temple Mount in our times with one's staff and his money belt. The midrash tells us that we derive from the laws of Shabbos that just as Shabbos is an eternal mitzva also the holiness of the Temple is eternal and one is therefore forbidden to come there in a non-respectful manner with one's staff or money belt. The question though is what does this have to do with the mitzva of impurity. The laws of the awe of the Mikdash should be where Hashem by the mitzva of mikdashai tir'au, where we are commanded to have the awe of the Temple.

The Maharil Diskin answers that the Midrash is noting the order of all of the mitzvos of the sacrifices here that were given (unlike Rashi's opinion) before the Mishkan was actually inaugurated, which will only happen in the end of next week's parsha. The reason for this is because Hashem wanted the Jewish people to appreciate and know the laws of the sacrifices before it was open for business what it was all about. Moshe explained that the function of the Mishkan was for the good of the nation. That whenever we sinned we would have a place to come and atone. Where we could come close to Hashem. This idea works until we reach the sacrifice for the sin of coming to the Mikdash impure. For by this mitzva it seems that the Mishkan is putting an extra burden on us. It is creating a plaee and way we can sin that we didn't have before and it forces us to have extra care about our purity status when we come there.

 It is for that reason, the Midrash tells us, that Moshe told the people the law that the holiness of the Temple is eternal. Even if the temple is destroyed it's place will always be holy. Hashem's presence will always reside there. We cannot enter even with our staff and moneybelt eve without the building. Because Hashem will always be there for us. That's why the laws of purity are so important. They are there to show us Hashem is still there. We need to treat the place as if the Mikdash was still built. There is no more positive thing for us than that knowledge.

 What a message this has been for Jews who longed for millennia to return here. They kiss the earth when they land, they pray by holy Kotel which is just the retaining wall of the Temple Mount, because we know that the Shechina has really never left that place. There's no place else in the world that you can ever have that experience.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Dovid's Conquests - 870 BC- with the building of the Temple taken off of Dovid's list of to do things for Hashem he recognized that the time had not come yet where Israel can finally be relaxed from our enemies that surrounded us. As well Dovid understood that to build the Temple would require a lot of money in the national coffers. Thus he decided to embark upon a series of conquests eradicating Israel's neighbors who he felt would pose a threat to us, to avenge the Jewish people upon the enemies that had attacked us and to raise some capital in the form of war booty for new nation. These wars our sages tell us were done without consultation of the Urim V'Tumim and are considered permissible wars that a King has the authority to declare, yet they do not rise to the level of the mitzva wars that the conquest of Israel or the defensive wars of Israel had until that point fought.

 This is an important delineation as to the status of the wars of Israel and some of the controversy that surround its halachic status. To a large degree all of the wars that the State of Israel has fought from after its founding have been wars that were defensive wars. They are a mitzva and obligation to fight them and we even take a groom from his Chuppa (halachically) to fight in them. The war of independence though there are those that are of the opinion was a war that was not such a war as the Jews were fighting to establish a State. To do that, some suggest require the court, a king, the Urim v'Tumim and all the protocol that we do not have access to. Others argue that the war of independence as well was a fight for our survival and defensive war for the Jews living here.

 There are strong halachic opinions on both sides and certainly much politics that plays a role in it as well. But certainly Dovid who engaged in these permissible wars our sages seem to find fault with for initiating them without the proper protocol first and thus none of the wealth that was gained was used in the actual building of the Temple.

 So where did Dovid fight and how far were our borders expanded under his leadership? His first target was our old enemies the Philistines where he attacked their city of Gat which is called Meteg Ha'Amma. Gat has been identified by most archeologists as being Tel Tzafit not far from Beit Shemesh in the Shefela right outside of Kfar Menachem.  The word Meteg Ha'Amma translates as the bridle of the mule and the midrash tells us that Dovid broke the previous treaties that our forefathers had made with Avimelech the king centuries before. Dovid did not feel bound by them as the Philistines had already abrogated the oath even back then by Yitzchak by stuffing up the wells he had dug.

 Moving to the other side of the country Dovid then headed into Moav- Jordan. The King of Moav had killed Dovid's family when he fled from Shaul and hid in the forest of Charet. It was payback time! Dovid killed 2/3rds of them and the remaining 1/3 would be servants to Dovid and were made to pay tribute. The area of Moav that he conquered would be from the modern day city of Medva and the entire eastern side of the Dead Sea south. When I drive- or used to drive with my tourists down the Dead Sea, I point out to them that under Dovid that was Jewish occupied territory on the other side of the Jordan. They should be happy we are only on the western side now.

 Next Dovid headed up north to Aram Tzoba or modern day Syria. There he fought against the Aramean's led by Hadezer capturing 1700 horseman and 20,000 footmen whom he ransomed. The battle then when Aram Damesek joined the battle and ended with Dovid killing over 22,000 over the soldiers and bringing Damascus under our control as well. He took all of the golden shields that they had and brought them to Jerusalem. Here Dovid as well was breaching the previous peace treaty that was made by Yaakov with his father-in-law Lavan not to start up with Aram where he lived. Dovid smashed that altar and declared the peace was over. It seems the neighboring king To'I who had suffered under Damascus rule was appreciative and he came with gold and silver for Dovid again building the national coffers to extraordinary wealth.

 Finally, Dovid headed down south into the Negev where he fought against Edom and Amalek that dwelled there. This was one last treaty that Dovid set straight by breaking. Hashem had told Moshe that the Jews should not start up with Esau// Edom when we were coming into the land for "he is our brother". Dovid responded that deal was off the table as well. Edom had rejected our brotherhood by not letting us cross through his land to enter the country and the Amalekites that lived there would always pose a threat to us. So Dovid killed 17,000 of them in those battles and the land of Israel by the time that he was done was even bigger than it is today. Running from way up in Syria in the north much of Jordan in the East. Down in the Negev in the south and even including much of the Philistine coastline.

 This was Israel at it's best. It was the high point of Dovid's kingship. The euphoria was much like after the 6 Day War when our borders quadruped in size. But sadly from here on in things start going downhill. Maintaining such a kingdom and dealing with the maturation of the country can be more challenging than its establishment. And as we will see, Dovid will have more challenges than anyone else in this struggle for Israel.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERIBLE BARBECUE JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 You know that mouth-watering sensation you get when you're grilling a steak on the BBQ? I wonder if vegans get that when they mow the lawn.

 What’s a librarians favorite thing to bring to a BBQ? A shush kebab

 What happened to the cannibal that showed up late for BBQ? He got the cold shoulder.

 I was at a barbecue party when a cow from a nearby farm charged me and chased me into a corner. It was at that moment I realized my life was at steak

 Why couldn't the monkey use the barbecue? He wasn't a grill'a

 Why didn't the cannibal BBQ his victim's feet at the picnic? He wanted to enjoy his meal without the mesquite toes

 What do you call a BBQ pun? A meataphor

My friends invited me to barbecue night yesterday. I said no but now I'm regretting it. That was a missed steak.

 Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.

 What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbecue.

 How do you know you're at a Chinese Barbeque? The hot dogs are real.

Sometime in the 1970s, on an absolutely freezing day, a shipment of meat arrives in a town in the Soviet Union. The townspeople, bundled to their eyeballs, line up outside the town store to wait to be given their rations. After about an hour, a man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so the Jews have to leave." The Jews in the line leave grumbling. 

About an hour later, the man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so anyone who is not a member of the Communist party will have to leave." More grumbling as the non-Party members depart. 

Another hour goes by and the man comes out of the store again and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone in the line, so anyone who wasn't a member of the Party before 1956 has to leave." More grumbling as all the younger Party members leave. A few old people remain in the line. 
Another hour goes by. It's now getting dark and it's cold. The same man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't any meat. Go home." 
One old lady in the line turns to her neighbor and says, "See? It's like I told you. The Jews always get the best treatment ..."

 A pig, a cow, and a chicken walk into a barbecue. The End

 And finally What do you call a Jewish clegyman that barbecues? A Ribeye. OYYYY!

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Answer is D –Easy. I didn't stand a chance with this one. The first thing I deleted out of my brain after I passed my exam was all the Muslim mishegas. Right after that was the churches and the Christian chazerai. This question would've been a definite skip had I taken the exam (you have to skip 5 out of the 50). I guessed Ummayad because I know they were busy by the Temple Mount and their palaces there by the southern wall I always tour. But the right answer is Fatimid. So I'll count this as wrong. And the score is now 14 for Rabbi Schwartz and 5 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.