Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
June 12th 2020 -Volume 10
Issue 34 20th Sivan 5780
Parshat Shelach
Hypothetical Questions?
Ok maybe you can help me out here. I need some advice. Let's keep
this hypothetical. So if I have a child that refuses to put on Tzitzis- I don't.
Remember this is hypothetical- but let's assume I do. How do I go about
convincing him that he should wear them? Let's say I tell him how beautiful
this mitzva is. How every second of the day that he's wearing them he's getting
eternal reward. How every day we recite this mitzva in Shema, our holiest
prayer because it is meant to remind us to do all the mitzvos. How it is equal
to all the mitzvos. Do you think that would work? It's not.
How about a different approach? I can tell him inspiring stories
from the Talmud about people that wore Tzitzis and how it prevented them from
sinning, how it brought them blessing. I can tell them of sacrifices that great
Jews made in times of persecution to wear Tzitzis. How tears poured down their
eyes as they lovingly kissed those holy strings the first time they were able
to put them on after they left the camps. I can tell him about how the last act
that the Gaon of Vilna did on this world before dying was to kiss his Tzitzis,
crying how he is leaving a world where for the few kopecks these strings cost
one can merit the entire World To Come. Do you think that would inspire him? It
doesn't
What's his problem? Well first of all, he tells me that they make
him hot. They're uncomfortable. Many of his friends don't wear them. The
strings get stuck and caught in places and sometimes stick out when he's in
public. He's not interested in that. And why does he have to wear them anyways.
There's no commandment in the Torah to wear Tzitzis. The Torah only tells us
that if one is wearing a four cornered garment then he has to wear the strings
on them. But it seems- and the problem is he's right about this- that if he's
not wearing a four cornered garment than he's not obligated to wear the
strings. And the Torah never tells me that I have to wear a four cornered
garment. So why does he have to wear them. He agrees to do all the mitzvos the
Torah tells him to. He'll keep Shabbos, He'll fast Yom Kippur, He'll even put
on tefillin every day. But why am I making him do mitzvos that he's not
obligated in. Do you hear my problem now? So what do you think you could say to
convince him. Or perhaps you agree with him and are taking yours off right now…
Now how about another hypothetical problem here. Let's say my wife
wanted me to go on a diet. I can't imagine why that would be the case, but hey
let's just run with this. In the past she knew that Atkins was the only real
thing that I was able to stick with for any considerable amount of time. I'm
not a big nosher or cake and cookie person. I'm a meat and potato guy. I
could survive on eggs and cheese and steaks and chicken for a long time. The
problem is her motivation here is not because of the diet. She just doesn't
like to make challah anymore. She won't buy the regular bakery bread products
because they're "poison" with that white flour. Won't even let it
into our house. She used to bake her own "healthy" challa and bread.
Actually Elka, my 8-year-old-oops I mean 12-year-old, she'll always be my little
girl- makes the best spelt challa in the world. But not anymore. Nope Aliza
decided enough with the Challa it's too much of a headache.
Well I'm still on Corona couch duty which means that I can't go out
with my tourists and eat shwarma, pizza and falafel anymore with them and I'm
stuck at home. And I need my bread. So I tried to explain to my wife what a
beautiful mitzva there is with making challa. The Torah tells us that it is
particularly a special mitzva in the land of Israel. We remember upon removing
part of our dough that all that we have comes from Hashem. There are all types
of Challa separating ceremonies that take place. It's know to bring all types
of segulos. Maybe even parnassa which we could use right now… But
it ain't working. The woman is not biting-hypothetically of course. Her
hypothetical response to me? Where in the Torah does it say one has to make
Challa? The Torah only tells us that if we make it then we have to take off the
Challa. But there is no actual mitzva to make bread. Oyyy… What am I going to
do?
I've got one more question for you guys, only this one is not
hypothetical. Maybe you can help me out, despite the fact that you were really
of not too much use on the first few questions. So there's a people of the same
religion as mine that have a mitzva. It's a real important mitzva. In fact, our
sages tell us that it is equal to all the mitzvos of the Torah. Our Rabbis even
go as far as to say that whoever doesn't fulfill this mitzva it's like they
have no God. The mitzva is an incredible one and the Torah really doesn't go
too many parshas without telling us how essential it is. But yet, this
people of mine seem to be very reluctant to fulfill it. They tell me that it's
not really an obligatory mitzva. It's just an opportunity for someone that is
fulfilling it to get reward, but it doesn't say that you have to do it. It's
uncomfortable for them to do it. It's a pain. It's hot. Lot's of their friends
and cousins don't do it. So why am I bothering them about it? Why should they move
to Eretz Yisrael...?
Do you think it would help if I told them stories of all of their
ancestors who dreamed of having the chance to live in Israel? How about if I
tell them stories of the great rabbis in the Talmud that would bend down and
kiss the stones and ground of Eretz Yisrael upon arriving here. Should I tell
them about how the Gaon of Vilna left his wife and children behind, as it was
to perilous for them to try to journey and move to Israel. It is on this trip
that he composed his famous letter of the GRA on how she should instruct them,
as he didn't think he would ever see them again. Letters were the equivalent of
Zoom distance learning for his children back then. This wasn't leaving behind
elderly parents or friends and family. This was his wife and young children.
But the mitzva meant too much to him. He knew this is where he was supposed to
come. It's where all the mitzvos have its truest meaning. (The journey
miraculously and mysteriously failed by the way-it seems heaven wasn't ready
for him to come.). If they are Chasidic I could tell them about the students of
the Baal Shem Tov that sacrificed everything to come here despite the death and
starvation and persecution that awaited them. Do you think telling them these
stories will work or are they too comfortable in galus? Is it still too
hard?
What if I tell them to take a look at Jewish history? To read the
writing on the wall. Maybe the writing in the Torah and Talmud and most Jewish
authorship isn't good enough. Maybe if they understand that any place where our
people got too comfortable and felt too much at home Hashem pretty much ended
our sojourn there. Should I tell them about how before we had to flee for our
lives the signs were that chaos was beginning to reign. Anti-Semitism was
flourishing, shuls were getting defaced and the government was trying to
interfere with our ways of educating, praying, how we were locked out of our
synagogues for periods of time? Maybe if they knew about the so many that
didn't make it out. The ones thought it was just a phase that would pass in
Spain, in England, in France, in Russia in Poland and in Germany and wherever
we have thought we would rest our weary feet over the past 2000 years. The ones
that always thought "Never Again" and "not here" until they
found out they were wrong. Do you think that would wake them up?
But perhaps fear is not a good tactic. How about if I just tell
them how amazing it is here. How it's the safest place in the world and all the
prophets have said that, and they have a pretty good track record of being
correct. About how the opportunities here are abound. How the economy is
flourishing, how tuition is bupkes and how there really isn't a shidduch
crisis here at all. What a magnificent country Hashem gave us- it's His
favorite by the way and is His screen-saver on his Divine laptop. How there are
no hills, valleys, streams, waterfalls, seas, lakes and cities more holy, more
uplifting more inspiring, more ours…
Should I tell them how when I do mitzvos here they really connect
in the deepest way that they are supposed to and are not just rituals- as the
Ramban writes- to stay in practice until we merit to do them in the land Hashem
has given us. Should I describe how other-worldly Shabbos here feels. How you
breathe it in the air, how the chagim are celebrated by most of the country and
even secular people wish you a "Chag samayach". How nice it is
to be with family. In good times and even bad…Maybe I should just tell them to
open up this week's Parsha. Or for those in the Diaspora that seem to be behind
us now (and always J) and are cheating ahead next week's Parsha. Maybe
the Torah will tell us how to deal with a people and nation that seem to have
difficulty leaving their perceived idyllic paradise in the wilderness.
We all know the story of the spies. We wandered 40 years in the
wilderness and all the men from the age of 20-60 died. They never saw the land
that they were too terrified to move to. They perished and are buried out in
the desert somewhere without any remnant of their graves. But then the Torah gives
us the antidote to this sickness, with what seems at first glance some randomly
placed mitzvos, but of course we know nothing is ever random. What makes this
even more fascinating to me is that the entire Torah portion called Shelach- to
send spies to the land, the first Rashi tells us is a voluntary commandment.
Moshe didn't have to send spies. Hashem told him it's up you. Do what you think
I want. The mitzvos that follow at the end of the parsha seem to be of the same
voluntary type as well. Welcome to the world of Hashem training us how to make
the right decisions.
The first mitzva is the mitzva of sacrifices. Now I'm sure many of
you had hoped that we had left that whole complicated topic behind us in
Vayikra where it seems these mitzvos would be better placed. Yet, Hashem mentions
it here right after our failure to make the right choice about coming to
Israel, in order to assure us that we will indeed make it here one day. But
it's more than that. See, the sacrifices and specific law that it teaches here are
the laws of the personal vows we are fulfilling with offerings; voluntary sacrifices,
and how with each of them we need to bring a little l'chaim of wine to Hashem
to pour on our offering.
There is a message in that. Hashem is telling us and reminding us
that we there is something deep in us that will want to come close to Him. That
will want to bring Him gifts that he never even commanded us to bring. It's not
the first fruits that he commanded us to bring, it's not our sin or guilt
offerings. It's just vows we made because there was something that we underwent
and at that point we knew we wanted to do something for Hashem. Hashem tells us
when we do that bring some wine. Wine, our sages tell us represent the grapes
that were from the original tree and sin that Adam ate from and got thrown out
of Gan Eden. (There are many views of what it was- apples are not one of them).
When we bring offerings with that wine we are telling Hashem we want to return
to that garden. We want to make the world perfect again. It is our deepest and
most primordial need and we will be able to fulfill that when we come back to
the land. We just need to recognize that is our need.
The next mitzva is- what do you know? Another voluntary mitzva and
it revolves around food. The most basic form of it. As basic as sliced white
bread. Hashem tells us I know you might be nervous coming to Israel. It's nice
in the midbar. Parnassa is good. You get your daily manna. I know you're
nervous about putting bread on your table in our holy land. But don't worry.
I'm Hashem. I can give you parnassa anywhere. Y'know how you don't work
on Shabbos ,because you're not nervous that you're losing out on any parnassa
because you're doing what I want you to do. Because you know that I pretty much
write how much "bread" you're gonna make on Rosh Hashana, regardless
of how many days you work. As long as you're doing what I want you to. Well,
I'll tell you a secret, says Hashem. I want you to live in Israel, in case you
didn't get the hint. You'll have plenty of bread over here and you will be so
thankful and not nervous you will want to take off some of it and bring it to
Me (via the Kohen, my messenger). Sure you can go on Atkins and have a gluten
free diet. But you won't want to. You'll want to make challa just to show how
much you want to come back to me.
To make that idea even better, wheat as well was according to some
opinions the "tree" that Adam sinned with. Again our most basic need
and desire going back to Creation is to return to Eretz Yisrael, to that Garden
with Hashem and fix that sin.
OK, you sold me. But…but…but…It's so different. It's not what I'm
used to. It's so dramatic. We've been outside for so long. For most of our history
we haven't been there. Great Rabbis settled and flourished other places as
well. None of them are telling us to leave "the land without a God";
the land of idolaters and atheists. It's so much easier to just keep doing what
we're doing and not think about it.
Welcome to the next set of laws in the parsha of shogeg- the offering for
unintentional sins- particularly idolatry. The laws of people that just do the
wrong thing because they didn't think. They didn't open their eyes. It's not an
individual problem. It's when even the leaders make a mistake about what is
idolatry. It's alright. I understand. It's easy not to think. It's hard to
break out of a habitual lifestyle that might even seem spiritual fulfilling
even though it's not the place where it's supposed to be or the way it's
supposed to be. Hey, even us living in Eretz Yisrael as well sometimes take for
granted living here and the spirituality we experience, although we know it's
not as real as its meant to be as long as we don't have the Beit Hamikdash.
Hashem tells us He understands. We just need to bring an offering
and we're forgiven. Come close. Come home. Just stop being a shogeg. And
don't be a meizid. Don't do the wrong thing intentionally knowing it.
Then you'll be cut off.
The parsha even inserts a story of someone who was a mikoshesh
eitzim- he gathered wood on Shabbos. He was warned. He was told that it was
a holy day. But he did it anyways. Rabbeinu Bachaya says a fascinating insight
in his sin. He notes that the word mikosheseh for gathering is a strange
word. It is usually used for kash-straw. The proper terminology is mi'laket-
to gather wood. The Torah uses the word mikoshesh because is reveals his
reasoning, his mistake. Ko-shesh is the same letter as kav-
shesh a line of six. The world has
six directions. The 7th Shabbos is the center. It is holy. The mi'koshesh
could only see the six-day physical world. He didn't see the Shabbos. He
couldn't tell the difference between a holy day that is above time and place
and a weekday gathering wood type of day or place. He couldn't see Gan Eden.
Don't make the mikosheseh mistake. There are holy days and weekdays. There
are holy countries and there are not holy ones. Listen to the warnings. Don't
cut yourself off.
Last but not least our parsha concludes with a simple mitzva that
defines us. It's our clothes. It's the strings we attach to them. Take a look
at the mirror. You have strings hanging out of your pants. You're different.
You're not them. You're surrounded by mitzvos. You're wearing them even in chutz
la'aretz, because you want to remember them, even though you don't have to
wear them. You don't have to put on this clumsy sweaty extra four cornered
garment on a hot day. But you do. Because you want to remember that Hashem took
us out of Mitzrayim. They remind us of the clothing Hashem made for Adam after
he sinned. They were his galus clothing that would remind them Who made them
for us. Who wants us to come back home. We are dressing like a Jew already wherever
we went for 2000 years to remember this. Don't you want to finally come to the
place where a Jew is supposed to live?
Parshat Shelach is that parsha where Hashem is asking us to choose
Him. To send out messengers and make pilot trips even though we really
shouldn't need them. But just come home. He misses us. He wants us to be here
with Him. He built the entire world for our country because it's only from here
where we can shine out his light to the world. I know you don't have to come…
but don't you want to? Don't you want to now? It's not a hypothetical question.
Have a spectacular Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim
Schwartz
********************************
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
" Aineh
villen leben un kennen nit, un andereh kenen leben un villen nit "- Some want to live well and cannot, while others can live
well and will not
RABBI
SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
31) In the Madaba
map, we won’t find in Jerusalem:
A.
The Eastern Cardo
- The Hagia Sion Church
- The city walls
- The Temple of Jupiter on the
Temple Mount
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://youtu.be/-P7tTWpLpxE – Rabbi Wallerstien in a
revolutionary video about what Jews in America need to start doing…. Come on
home.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz4Cqf78Ayc
-I may not like all of Rabbi K's songs or
videos but this video almost brought me to tears… check it out U'Mipnei
Chata'einu
https://youtu.be/g9N1OpJhFc4?list=TLPQMTIwNjIwMjDYtjBwSAUh7Q - A Shout out to my friend Itzy Weisberg
composer of the incredible Ani maamin the classic one this time sung by Shlomie
Daskal together with Achas Shoalti
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK
Parshat Shelach-Tzitzis –Our sages tell us that the mitzva of
Tzitzis is equal to all of the mitzvos of the Torah. There are a few mitzvos
that have that status, yet Tzitzis seem to be unique in that it seems that this
is a mitzva that one is not even obligated to wear. Unlike Tefilin which we
have to tie on every day, one is only obligated to wear Tzitzis if they are
wearing a four cornered garment. But if you're not wearing one, then this is a
mitzva you don't have to do. In fact there are opinions that even when wearing
a four cornered garment without Tzitzis one is not violating a negative commandment,
you're just not fulfilling a positive commandment. The practical difference
would be if you're Tzitzis strings ripped and became invalid, would you have to
remove them immediately or not? If it's a sin to wear a four cornered garment
without the strings you'd have to take them off. If you're merely not
fulfilling a mitzva then you wouldn't. In situations where one will not be
embarrassed we rule that they should be removed.
Now another
interesting aspect of Tzitzis is that it seems that we fulfill this mitzva in
two very distinct ways. We have our four cornered undergarment shirt that we
wear all day, called a talis katan. At least non-chasidim wear it under the
garments. And then there is the large Tallit that we wear only for prayers. I
can't think of another mitzva like that. As well in Ashkenazic circles one only
wears a big tallis after they get married. It's almost a rite of passage, like
Tefilin for a Bar mtizva boy. Again, I don't know of any other mitzva that we
tell you to wait until you get married to fulfill- besides of course the ones
that you can only fulfill with having a wife. What's up with that?
The difference
between the two garments that we wear Tzitzis on the talis gadol and katan is
based on a debate over the garment that the Torah tells us needs Tzitzis is any
four cornered garment or is it one that you can wrap yourself and your head in
as the Arabs do. We rule that it is any garment and thus we have the
undergarment Tzitzis or Talis Katan (here-on referred to as TK), however when
we pray we wear the larger Talis so as to fulfill that opinion as well. There
are some that suggest the reason for the large Talis Gadol (TG) is because
there is a minimuim size of talis that is required for it to be biblically
obligated and to be called a garment. It's the size that covers most of the
head and body of a 9-year-old (about 96x48 cm). The TG definitely has that size
and thus it is worn for davening. At the same time it is not pragmatic for many
in the working world to wear their TG all the time and we want to have the
mitzva with us so we wear the TK.
Where does the
custom for only marrieds to wear a TG from? I've seen it mentioned that the
verses that follow the mitzva of Tzitzis discuss getting married as a hint to
the idea. There are others that base it on mystical reasons that someone that
is not married does not have the ability to cloak themselves and be fully
enwrapped (atifa-not to be confused with antifa).In fact even those that
have a custom to wear a talis when they are single do not place it over their
head until marriage. Perhaps it was just an added incentive to get guys married
off. But certainly it would seem the older tradition is the sefardic one that
all bar mitva boys wear Tzitzis.
Now the Torah
tells us that Tzitzis are meant to be made out of either wool or linen. Our
sages tell us that a garment made out of leather is not considered a garment
and is not obligated in Tzitzis. That leads to a discussion about other
materials. Certainly there are opinions that anything that wool is the best way
to go and you will see many that wear only wool Tzitzis. However most of the authorities'
rule that anything made to make a garment that is sewn (rather then cut like
leather) is kosher and thus many wear cotton as well. The question is what
about polyester? So certainly many garments are sewn out of polyester, yet
there are opinions that they are not as it is synthetic, therefore there are
many that refrain.
The Tzitzis
strings need to be place on the garment for the sake of the mitzva, not because
your just practicing your lanyard skills. As a result of that if you garment
rips to the extent that it is no longer a garment and then you fix it, you must
take off the Tzitzis and place them back on again for the sake of the mitzva. There
are four strings on each corner that when knotted and wrapped together come out
as 8 on each corner. There are five knots with differing customs as to how many
times to wrap around. The 8 strings plus 5 knots equals 113 plus the gematria
of tzitizs is tzadik=90 plus yud=10 another tzadik and yud is another90+10= 200
plus taf is 400 gives a total 600 and the knots and strings is 613 which of
course is the number of mitzvos in the Torah. Wearing tzitzis is our reminder
of all of the mitzvos. We recite this mitzva twice a day in our Shema because
it is connected to the story of our remembering of Egypt. This is our reminder
of why we were taken out. What our freedom means. Hashem chose us because he
wanted to give us the merit to fulfill all the commandments. Isn't it great to
be wearing that reminder every day where we go.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN
ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
The Prelude to the era
of King-851 BC
– For the next 13 years Shmuel led the people. He was based
out of his home in Rama, but he would travel the entire country
inspiring people, teach, judge and in general it was an era of peace with the
fall of the Plishtim at the miraculous battle of Mitzpa. Yet as he aged
he passed over the family business to his two sons Yoel and Aviyah. Our sages
tell us that this Yoel eventually became the prophet Yoel from the book of
scriptures Trei Asar. They headed down to the south of Israel the navi tells us
to Be'er Sheva. Today one can visit Tel
Be'er Sheva and see the much of the city that still remains from this
period of time.
Now it seems that these children were not like their
father. It seems this happens very often in Jewish history. It was the story of
Eli the Kohen his predecessor as well, and Shmuel was the one that warned Eli
about this. Yet it seems that the sins of these sons were not as dramatic. The
Navi though tells us that they strayed after money and took bribes. Now most of
the commentaries try to minimize this sin. Some suggest that it was the fact
that they moved to Beer Sheva and didn't travel around Israel They made the
litigants come to them. That cost money and their lack of concern for the
Jewish peoples money. Others suggest that they engaged in personal business
while they were ruling the people and they put their own financial benefits
first. While others attribute their sin to taking advantage of tithes from
people and requesting them. It certainly wasn't Bibi's cigars and champagne.
Yet it seems financial improprieties by Israel's political and even spiritual
leaders are part and parcel of national tradition and weak spot.
The people at this point have had enough and they demand
from Shmuel that we be given a king like all other nations. Now the truth is
there is a mitzva when we come to the land to have a king. Yet, the
commentaries explain that as long as the nation was being taken care of in a
miraculous way by Hashem, it was necessary to have a king. It was only when
Klal Yisrael was settled in and were living in a physical agricultural
lifestyle "normal" life then they would need a king. Their desire for
one now was a rejection of Hashem and living in that spiritual miraculous
world. They wanted a king they felt they would be able to manipulate to their
desires. A real Israeli political system. Who woulda thought we wanted that?
Hashem's response to Shmuel was to listen to the Jews and
do what they want and find a king. But to give them the heads up. It won't be a
party. The king will tax them, will take their children to serve him in all
capacities. But the people want to go forth with it. And thus we begin the next
stage in our nationhood. Next week we meet the first king of Israel. Shaul
Hamelech.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S VOLUNTEER JOKES OF THE WEEK
One dark night
outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a
blink it exploded into flames. The alarm went out to the fire departments from
miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the
chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our
secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be
saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out
intact."
But the roaring
flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called
in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president
shouted out that the offer was now
$100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
$100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the
distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was
the nearby Jewish rural township volunteer fire company composed entirely of
menchen over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire
engine operated by this Jewish Fire Department passed all the newer sleek
engines parked outside
the plant and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
the plant and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside the
other firemen watched as the Jewish old timers jumped off and began to fight
the fire with a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time,
the Jewish old timers had extinguished
the fire and saved the secret formulas.
the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful
chemical company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat
he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each
of the brave, though elderly, Jewish fire fighters.
The local TV
news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What
are you going to do with all that money?"
"Well,"
said Morris Goldberg, the 70-year-old fire chief, "The first thing we are
going to do is fix the brakes on that lousy truck!"
I was applying
to volunteer at a blood drive, but they rejected me when they asked me to
demonstrate drawing blood. I guess they didn't want me to use crayon.
Once upon a
time a lonely ant met a handsome fish. Despite everyone telling them it was
wrong, they fell in love. One day they eloped and moved into a cottage by a
pond. Their only neighbor was Mr. Frog. They lived many happy years together
and then something unexpected happened; they had a baby. They were so happy and
their child grew up to be most peculiar. It seemed he could do anything he put
his mind to. He got straight A's in school. He had two part time jobs. He was
the star player on three sports teams. And he volunteered around the community.
Mr. Toad was amazed at him. One day he pulled the child aside and asked, "How do you have time for everything you do?" And the child said, "Well, I guess its because I'm a fish-ant."
Mr. Toad was amazed at him. One day he pulled the child aside and asked, "How do you have time for everything you do?" And the child said, "Well, I guess its because I'm a fish-ant."
An English
teacher has volunteered to educate prisoners at a local prison.
Teacher: "can
you tell me please, what comes after every sentence?"
One of the prisoners then responds with;"that's easy. Parole."
One of the prisoners then responds with;"that's easy. Parole."
What do you
call an elderly person who volunteers their time? A dentured servant
One day, an Hamas Terrorist member was lying on
his death bed, dying of cancer. It's spread too far and couldn't be stopped.
The doctor gave him his diagnosis, and only three days to live.
"Quick Fatima," he says to his loving wife. "Enlist me in the Israeli Army.
"Quick Fatima," he says to his loving wife. "Enlist me in the Israeli Army.
"But why?" She exclaims. "You've hated the Jews and Israelis all your whole life, why would you want to join their Zionist Army?"
He just rolls over, and ignores the question. But, because she loves him, she sends off his details, and awaits the letter confirming that he has joined the IDF.
Then, just as he is getting to the end of his life, the letter arrives. He has been accepted to the IDF. With a satisfied sigh, he breathes his last, saying:
"Well that's one more dead Israeli soldier."
For the last 20
years, a man has been volunteering for the police, participating in the police
lineups. And not even once has anyone recognized him for all his efforts.
What kind of
clothes does a volunteer wear? Partici*pants*.
I should have
known what I was getting into when I volunteered to help clean off the
graffiti. The writing was on the wall.
My brother
volunteered to perform my sons circumcision. But I could never force kin
to do that…OYYYY
**********************************
Answer is D– The Meidba Map is a Byzantine era
map that was found on the floor of a church in Jordan. It is a map of the Roman
Empire at that time. Jerusalem is featured prominently on the map as it was the
holy city for the Romans that were already Christian at that point in history
under the moniker of the "Holy" Roman Empire. Obviously if you know
this then you would know that the Jupiter temple was not longer there as they
destroyed vestiges of paganism. In fact the entire Har Habayis isn't even there
as Chazal tell us that Hadrian had plowed it down. You can see the replica of
the map in museums in Israel or in the Cardo of the old city and even in the Tunisian
shul in Akko. So another right one for Schwartz making the score 22 and 9 for
MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam. Let's keep this well needed streak
going!
