Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, January 17, 2025

Inaugural Adress- Parshat Shemot 5784 2025

 from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

January 16th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 12 17th of Tevet 5785

 

Parshat Shemot

Inaugural Adress


He didn’t ask me to give his inauguration speech or invocation. He didn’t even ask me to give a blessing or make a L’chaim. I’ll forgive the Donald that. It’s his loss. People pay a lot of money to hear me talk all day long. People print up my E-Mail each weekly for their Shabbos table. Some even sponsor it… after I nudge them enough and drop not so subtle hints. Some… So I’m not offended. I have enough of an ego to withstand this slight. Not as big as his, but a healthy enough sense of self-confidence to withstand it. It’s his loss.


Yet, I really wish that he had asked me to speak. I have some important things to say. Things that would hopefully give him light and guidance in these trying and troubling times. To a large degree our your new red-headed or at least red hair pieced president is the final king of Edom before Mashiach comes. He’s the last descendant of his red headed zaidy, “uncle Esau”, before Mashiach comes. He could certainly use some pointers on how to get out of this thing in one piece. On how to get home. How to take his rightful role since he sold us that birthright so long ago. Yeah… not all his deals were good either…Things that probably nobody else will tell him, besides me. It’s really one of the biggest problems I think facing Israel and the world today. Not enough people are listening to me or reading these E-Mails. This could’ve been over long ago. But I guess that’s just part of the hiddenness of Hashem’s word and light in this final generation.


Now I know that Trump has a lot of good Jewish advisers. Many of them even Frum Jews that believe in Hashem, keep Shabbos and eat chulent. Yet, even they are a little bit intimidated to really speak their minds. Maybe they’re scared of getting fired. We all know he tends to do that. As well, I’m not sure that they all get it either. They don’t all subscribe to my E-Mail. It’s pretty obvious. I mean they’re still living in the States and haven’t made Aliya, right?


So really, like usual it’s just up to me to put it out there. I like Trump. I think that he has potential. He could do the right thing. Much like Pharaoh he even has a daughter that found Hashem and converted. Although I do think it’s funny that Batya, the daughter of Pharaoh found a Jewish boy and called him Moshe- “pulled out” of the water, while Ivanka’s Jewish boy is named Jared- which means to go down.., but we’ll leave that on side.. of the river. As well I believe that just because I wasn’t asked to speak doesn’t mean that everyone else should lose out on the important words of wisdom that I would share. Just like eating has nothing to do with being hungry, my speaking or sharing my opinion, Torah and light- which are really all the same thing- has nothing to do with being asked or invited to do so.


I know you and he were probably concerned about me speaking, because there are those out there that might have told them that I might go on and on and on and have a tendency to speak and write very long. I don’t think they or perhaps even you appreciate how much I don’t say and edit out each week. I only leave the very essential stuff… Ok, now I admit, that’s not really true. But the truth is if they would’ve asked me to speak, I really would have only one very short important message. I could really say all I need to say in a few short sentences. My inauguration speech would be really something like this.


Bi’rishus all of the great honorees, dignitaries and of course the President and the former presidents and the important kahal that is gathered here today. Mazel tov President Trump on your election. It’s shoyn tzeit, as we say in the frum world. Many Jews have been waiting for this moment longer and sadly more anxiously then for Mashiach. Particularly the ones that need tax deductions and presidential pardons that they couldn’t buy off the last guy. I wish you all the best in this new job. And I have one message, request, and piece of advice for you as you take on this new role for the second time.


 Please don’t kill the Jews in your country. Please do not throw their babies into the river and drown them. Please don’t take my friends, family, readers, supporters and clients and put them into concentration camps and gas them to death. Don’t even take the ones that don’t read my E-Mail and have even unsubscribed. They’re my brothers and sisters too. I beg and implore you dear President, despite our many sins as a nation, we still represent that light of Hashem in the world. It’s not your job to destroy us. Don’t even force them to build pyramids in your honor. Jewish construction is really very overrated. We gave that up thirty-five hundred years ago.


Don’t murder us. Don’t persecute us. Don’t try to genocide or October 7th my nation in America or in Israel for that matter as well. Don’t Crusade us. Don’t make a decree to kill men women and children in one day, certainly not in the month of Adar. It really won’t work out well for you if you try. It never does.”


 Yes, I know that in every goy our sages tell us there is an innate halachic tendency to hate us. Esau sonei es Yaakov. It goes back a long way and gets restrained here and there over time, but always surfaces. “Never Again” is always again. But you can overcome this. You can be better. You can help us bring Mashiach. I know that its going to be a big task to get the so many that feel way too comfortable over there in the US of A “medina shel chesed”, meatboards, large houses, Teslas and of course Torah like it’s never been learned before to leave and come to Israel where they need to be for the light of Hashem to shine out. But that’s not your problem to deal with. You don’t have to expel them. You don’t have to take away their rights. Their education and yeshivas. Their Pizza shops. Leave that to Hashem.


God Bless the President and the United States of America. Amen


See, that wasn’t too long, was it? Now, I know that it sounds a little dramatic. And that many of you out there reading this probably feel that this is really not such a necessary speech to be giving. After-all this is Trump, not Biden, Obama, or Kamala. He’s “our” guy. We’re good. Even I voted for him. But the reason I voted for him was probably a little different than yours. See, my feeling is that with the other team it would probably take a lot longer until we get a good Mashiach-bringing, Armageddon-like, Gog U’Magog, Nuclear war. It would just keep on being the same-old same-old pacifying the Amalakite, evil-doers and shlepping this thing out longer and longer. Another few missiles. Another few dead soldiers and attacks. We kill a few more of their “commanders that participated in October 7th attack. (Am I the only one out there that seems to find it strange how many “commanders” there were and are?) But nothing really changes. Another deal. Or not… It’s tiring.


This thing isn’t over until we finally realize that the only end is when it goes ballistic. Literally. Pshuto k’mashma’o as we say in yeshiva. And that’ ain’t happening with the Dem’s. With Trump though, if someone makes fun of his hair or gives him a nickname he doesn’t like, this baby can escalate faster than you can say “Little Rocket Man” in Korean. And that my friends is where we have to get to…


But yes, despite the fact that I voted for him, I’m nervous. I read this week’s parsha. I saw the Netziv in the Ha’amek Davar and it’s insane how similar our situation is and how often this happens to us. Let’s open up the Chumash this week to the story of our first national exile. To the book of Shemot, the book of Exile and Redemption and try to understand what happened to us and what we need to be wary of today.


As we all know the Jews were in Egypt for 210 years. We finished last week’s and the Book of our the story of our Patriarchs with perhaps one of the most chilling endings, according to the Midrash.

And Yosef died at 110 years old and they embalmed him and placed him in a coffin in Egypt.

Chazak Chazak Vi’NitChazek!


That’s it. The end. The Midrash notes that until Yosef died the Jews pretty much stayed in their Ghetto in Goshen. They didn’t assimilate. Yosef made sure of that. But once he was gone, the Jews placed him in a coffin in Egypt. They made a big statue of the founding fathers of Egypt of which Yosef was. They were proud Egyptians and they wrote a lot of books about how the Jews were really behind everything there. Columbus was a Jew. Lincoln had Jewish advisers. We fought in the Civil War. We were decorated in Korea. We were all over that “Jew lover” Roosevelt’s cabinet. Forget about all of the industries we started. Medical breakthroughs. Every Egyptian college had like 50% Jews. Doctors, Lawyers, Pyramids construction. Egyptian nursing homes. We left Goshen and took over Egypt.


The Torah fascinatingly enough doesn’t tell us much about the 100 or so years of the worst persecution and suffering our nation experienced and the cause of it. All it gives us is a verse or two. But those verses say it all.


And the Jewish people were paru- fruitful, vayishratzu- they spread out like insects, they increased and became strong- very very much so and the land filled with them.


We all know this from our Pesach Seder and we all talk about the famous Rashi how they each had 6 children at once (as there’s six terminologies used). But let’s talk real here, what the pasuk is telling us is everything we need to know, the Netziv tells us. What happened is that we basically took over Egypt. The Midrash tells us that when it tells us that land was filled with Jews


There weren’t any circuses or theaters that weren’t full of the Jews.”


We started the Egyptian Hollywood. Another Midrash tells us that it was in this period, after the death of Yosef that Jews stopped circumcising themselves. The Chasidic Rebbe’s read the words homiletically. The land filled them. We became obsessed with becoming part of the land that we were living in. We hung flags on our doorposts and we’re proud Yankee Fans.


Do you know what it means that they put Yosef in a coffin in Mitzryaim? Yosef, who had done the opposite of what they were doing, Yosef, who never assimilated and was so concerned about that happening. Yosef who named his first son Menashe to remind himself that he wasn’t Egyptian. That he was “displaced” like the gid ha’nasheh sciatic nerve, from his father’s house. Yosef who even went out and circumcised all of Egypt in order to raise them up, rather then to see us fall and become uncircumcised like them. We buried that Yosef in a coffin in Egypt in the bottom of the Nile. We turned him around and fake-newsed him on his head in his grave and spun him into a proud Egyptian that would be our entrance into the Egyptian congress, White House. We became more Egyptian and American then the Egyptians. We all voted for the new Pharaoh whose platform was to MAKE EGYPT GREAT AGAIN. We put those bumper stickers on our donkeys’ backside and proudly felt that we have finally made it. Slavery, persecution, kidnapping that was all stuff of the past. There’s a new Pharaoh in town and we were very very influential. He liked Jews.


The next verse tells us that a new Pharaoh got up that didn’t know Yosef. I’m sure the Rosh Yeshiva of The Goshen Yeshiva University was invited to speak by his inauguration and the Agudath Yisrael of Cairo delegation recited the shehechayanu on national TV. What a Kiddush Hashem… The Israeli flag of the 12 tribes waved proudly behind the Egyptian one. Pharaoh’s cute daughter Batya was even seen eyeing some of the nice Jewish boys over there… When Pharaoh looked out at this nation and the huuuuge crowds. Because Pharaoh always had huge crowds- not like the other guy. He didn’t see Yosef. He didn’t see that old ghetto circumcised slave boy that had once come to Egypt. Pharaoh didn’t see him or know him, because we buried him in a coffin in Egypt.


We had stopped speaking about the Yosef whose entire life was dreaming about returning to Eretz Yisrael. Who despite being given an Egyptian name by Pharaoh of Tzofnat Panayach- which is a pretty impressive title (revealer of the hiddenness), never used that name. He stayed Yosseleh. He never even called himself Joseph. But Pharaoh didn’t see him or know that guy anymore. He saw Jews who had forgotten that they were strangers in a strange land. That every minute that they were assimilating and feeling comfortable over there they were renouncing their divine mandate to return to Israel and bring the Shechina down to the world. Pharaoh looked out at this new strange nation who had maybe still wore their Yarmulkas and Shtreimels and kept their Jewish names and spoke yiddish and Hebrew but were also wearing Charles Tyrill togas and driving Teslas, building their own palaces in a country that they were clearly planning on staying in for a very long time if not forever.


The Navi Yechezkel (chapter 20-a very worthwhile perek to read through) tells us of how the Jews at that time rejected Hashem, how they reached the 49th level of Tuma and how primarily they wished to become “a nation like the others”. They didn’t want to leave when Hashem wanted to take us out. They were happy and integrated and comfortable in Mitzrayim. And thus Hashem poured out his Chamas upon them. Then, as Dovid Hamelech writes


Hafach libam lisno amo- he turned their hearts around to hate our nation.


The Egyptians that were once our best friends. That were our neighbors. Our clients. Our candidates. Our employees that we treated so nicely. That we enriched. Hashem turned their hearts around to despise us. To kill us. To give them thoughts of Anti-Semitism that we will take over their country entirely. That we will join their enemies. So they killed us. They threw our babies in the river. They put us into camps. They took off the yellow ribbons that they were wearing five minutes ago when they said “Don’t’ and “There will be Hell to pay” and turned them into yellow stars that they made us wear. It flipped in one second, because Yosef was dead. We had buried him. We forgot his message that he told Pharaoh “Mi’Biladai Elokim Ya’aneh Shlom Pharaoh- That Hashem is the only one that is controlling the world. And instead we put a big red Pharaoh MAGA sticker on our bumper.


We thought that with his election and the new patriotic American Egyptian Jew that shares a belief in a Higher power-with Pharaoh of course, rather than the Yosef that had the guts to get up by his inauguration and tell Pharaoh that he’s a nothing. That Hashem is everything. That no one has any power besides Hashem. We thought that if he saw a different Jew it would buy us at least another four years before we have to give up our nice house in Pico- Ramses, Pitom- Robinson, Pitom Ramses…. 😊and move to our nice smaller apartment in Shneller.


The Netziv writes that this has always been the problem “it’s why in every generation Hashem sends them up against us to destroy us”. V’ehi She’amda l’avoseinu.


he Netziv lived in a period of Torah flourishing like it never did before with his yeshiva of Volozhin. It was like living in Goshen. They were in the Lithuania but they felt like they were in Jerusalem. A holy Jerusalem. And yet everything turned. The enlightenment movement took hold Jews began to assimilate and the government turned against the Jews in one second. They ordered them- and there were many Jews behind these decrees, to start including secular education, to start reading their newspapers, to leave our bubble and become part of them. One of them. To bury Yosef. The Netziv even agreed to secular studies, but only outside of the walls of the yeshiva. That wasn’t acceptable to them. They couldn’t leave the walls of the Beit Midrash pure. They couldn’t leave Yosef alive. They needed to bury him in a coffin in Lita. In Uman. In Kerister. In Crown Heights. So he shut the doors and started the Chibas Tzion movement. Because he understood that there was only one place to go and one reason Hashem was doing this. He writes then.


The voice of Hashem is knocking on the entrance of our doors saying, open me up an entrance with our work because the hour has come when it will never again be said that Eretz Yisrael is a land that is abandoned, and none are seeking her out to return to her.” 


He never merited to return here. Like Yosef, he was buried there. Yet the Kibbutz Ein Ha’Netziv in the Jordan Valley is named after him. His students made there way here a decade before Herzl’s secular Zionist movement even spoke about a return to Israel. Yet sadly and tragically just as in Egypt 4/5ths of our nation never saw the writing on the wall and perished in slave pits of Europe.


We have two verses that describe that century of our persecution in Egypt. The first is our flourishing. B’Me’od me’od. And the second is the immediate flip. The slavery. The persecution. The decrees. The babies. The beatings. The demonstrations. The destruction and chaos that we never dreamed our friend Pharaoh who we put into office and the country which we built and saved and circumcised could ever bring down upon us. It’s all we needed to know then and it’s all we need to know now. The rest of the Book of Shemot is a story of only two years. The rest of the Torah is about 40 years, of which we really only have details about 2 of them. Yet that first century of our history, of our founding is in just these two verses. It’s a short speech, yet its words our eternal.


The Navi tells us that when Mashiach comes the miracles and redemption will be even greater than when we left Mitzrayim. Perhaps the greatest miracle will be that this time around, we are told No Jew will be left behind. We are all coming this time around. We will all come to the realization that our purpose is not to have an Israeli flag waving humbly behind a sitting president’s inauguration or as one of the hundreds waving at the entrance to the UN. Rather it’s that the flag of Hashem, of Mashiach ben Yosef and Ben Dovid are waving at the inauguration and really the only inauguration that we should be hoping for and even occupied or thinking about. There is only one Melech Chadash- one King who we wish to see inaugurated upon the entire world. Everything else is just Pharaoh in Mitzrayim. May His reign finally be revealed to all.


Have a liberating Shabbos!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 


************************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

““Ven er iz tsvey mol azoy klug, volt er geven a goylem!.” - If he were twice as smart, he'd be an idiot! 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

4. The city of Beit She'an was known during the Roman period by the name of ______

The Lod mosaic presents scenes related to:

A. Blessing of the Nile

B. Shipping and the sea

C. Binding of Isaac

D. The Zodiac wheel

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUzeP9J1PyE   V’hinei Naar Bocheh abeautiful parsha song nice words.. and idea..


 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wu1weM-42Y – Kempeh Classics… Fantastic…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLdofCIrHd0 – Matisyahu “The Father’s Live” The Carlebach classic like you’ve never heard before. Like it or not?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt-wMk59OwM – Ari Goldwag’s latest release Tikva Tova… Beautiful…


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


The other Pharaoh- 609 BC – We start the book of Shemot this week and we meet Pharaoh. As this column seems to find its way more often than not into the weekly parsha in our journey into the end of the reign and the death of King Yoshiyahu we meet Pharaoh as well. As well, I just started Mesechet Megilla this week with with the Amud Yomi program of Oraysa and it was amazing to find this Pharoah there as well. Cool!

 

 This Pharaoh is called Pharaoh Necho by the Navi. The name our sages tell us he got when he attempted to sit on the famous throne of King Shlomo. The throne was perhaps one of the most incredible ever created. Our sages tell us that it had mechanical animals that would lift him from step to step. The first step was a golden lion facing a golden ox. The second had a wolf facing a lamb. The third a tiger facing camel. The next steps had various birds along the same theme finally when he made it to the final seventh step a golden eagle would fly down and place his crown on his head. I heard that Trump was looking to have a similar one built for his inauguration 😊. Well it seems that when Pharaoh Necho tried to go up this throne that he took from Yoshiyahu the lion gave him a big kick and he became a cripple.

 

Now this Pharaoh seemingly had a treaty with Ashur or Syria as we know it. Yet there was a new enemy that was rising in the world, that would eventually become a world power and destroy the Temple. Welcome Bavel or Iran to the world domination game. So when Ashur was getting attacked from Bavel who was also in control of Charan which is North of Syria in Turkey. Pharaoh came to help them in battle. It seems that these guys are always looking to join one another in wars that don’t really concern them. Yoshiyahu wasn’t a fan of the idea. We’ll talk about that next week.

 

Let’s just jump to the end of game of Pharaoh. It turns out that he lost the battle to Bavel. He came back home afterwards and then in an incredible feat he actually sent boats of Phoenicians that served under him to circumnavigate the entire continent of Africa and was in the process of building a canal there connecting the Red and Mediterranean seas. This made him the first King in history to travel and conquer that far to the African coast that wasn’t replicated until the Portuguese sailor Vasco De Gama did 2000 years later!

 

Yet with this Pharaoh as we will see the beginning of the end of the great Egyptian empire will begin to fall and the new empire of Bavel arises. We are in the last half century before the Churban and the map of the world and the chaos is beginning.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TRUMP INNAUGURATION JOKES OF THE WEEK


On the night of his inauguration, Donald Trump is visited by 3 ghosts

Early in the night, FDR appears. Trump asks him "how can I make America great again?"

FDR replies "think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets"

Trump's face sours "FAKE NEWS!" he screams and FDR disappears. Trump falls back to sleep.

A few hours later, he is awakened by George Washington's ghost. Trump asks "how can I make America great again?"

Washington replies "I would suggest you never tell a lie", which infuriates Trump. He screams for his bodyguards but Washington is already gone.

 

Trump asks: Barack, your approval ratings are pretty high. I love ratings bigly. Can you give me some tips?

Obama: The key is having a strong administration. I make sure that my administration not only works hard but is also composed of smart people.

Trump: What do you mean?

Obama summons Biden.

Obama (to Biden): Joe, I have a question for you. Who is a son or daughter of your parents but not your sibling?

Biden: It is me Barack!

Obama to Trump: See, that is how we roll...

After inauguration Trump decides to test this on Pence.

Trump: JD I have a question for you. Who is a son or daughter of your parents but not your sibling?

After some brainstorming Vance says "It is me!".

Trump furious: What are you talking about loser? It is Joe Biden. You are fired!

 

Obama, Biden and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in."

God asks Biden first: “What do you believe?"

He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen".

God can’t help but see the simple goodness of Biden and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Obama and says, "What do you believe?"

Obama says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. Like Obama I believe in hard work. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true patriot and a loyal American."

God is greatly moved by Obama's eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Trump and says, "And you, Donald, what do you believe?"

Trump replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

 

A Russian spy under the alias of “Joe Smith” is arrested by American officials. He is put in an interrogation room and confronted by an official, Agent Perry.

Smith: “I don’t understand, why am I being interrogated?”

Perry: “Drop the act, Smith, if that even is your real name. We know you’re a foreign spy!”

Smith: “WHAT? No! I’m a real American, I can name all 46 Presidents of the United States, in order, with the dates of their inaugurations and their Vice Presidents.”

Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”

Smith: “You’re all wrong! I can name all fifty states, US territories, and all their capitals!”

Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”

Smith: “Wait… I know every word of the national anthem, the pledge of allegiance, the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!”

Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”

Smith: “Ok, I submit, I’m a Russian spy under a fake name. But… how could you tell?”

Perry: “Because Americans don’t know any of those things.”

 

Yankel is elected president. Soon after, he calls up his mother to tell her the good news. "Mom, did you hear, I've been elected president!"

"Oy, Yankeleh, That's so great to hear, darling. I'm so proud of you!"

"So," he asks "you'll be coming out for the inauguration, right?"

"I'm not sure," says his mother, "D.C. is so cold this time of year."

"I'm the president, mom. I can arrange for you to get any sweater you want."

"I'm still not sure," continues his mother, "flying across the country is such a hassle."

"Mom, I'll have you flown out here on Air Force One. It'll be no trouble to you." Finally, his mother agrees.

The day of the inauguration rolls around, and his mother is seated between the Vice President and the Secretary of State. As he’s being sworn in, his mother nudges the vice president.

"You see that boy up there? The one with his hand on the Bible? His brother's a doctor. "

 

The date is 20 January 2025. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Biden and says "You're Fired".

 

The Pope and Donald Trump are standing in front of the large crowd gathered for his innauguration

The Pope says to Trump, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that, with one wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

 

What did Trump say to Biden when he bumped into him intentionally in the hallway of the White House as he was leaving. Pardon me, please.

 

An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night. There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!

Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"

His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed.

 

If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though.

 

Trump says to Vance, "China's mining too many ores"

Vance: What are you going to do?

Trump: Order more tariffs to make them mine less.

Vance: Mine fewer.

Trump: Shhh, don't call me that yet.

 

Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for

He said 'Genius'

 

The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes

***************************************

The answer to this week”s question is B – Ok, so we’re back to the half and half scores. I got the first one wrong. I had no clue. I don’t remember all of the old Roman names. I knew that it was an important Roman city one of the Decapolis- the ten ciites that were famous for the Romans. But I forgot that it was called Scythpolis. Although if there would’ve been a multiple choice for this one it could be I would’ve gotten it, as I do recognize some of the other ones. On the other hand, Part 2 I did get correct, but only by process of elimination. I was never in Lod touring that I remember with tourists. But I did know where all of those other choices were. The Zodiac they have in lots of places including Tzippori. The binding of Yitzchak as well is in Tzippori and Beit Alfa and in most places. The b lessing of the Nile is a large Tzippori mosaic. So that left the shipping and sea thing, which made sense as Lod is a port. So I got that right and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz 2.5 Ministry of Tourism 1.5 on this exam so far.

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Friday Fasts- Parshat Vayechi / Asara B'Tevet 2025 5785

Holyland Insights and Inspiration

 from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

January 9th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 11 10th of Tevet 5785

 

Parshat Vayechi- Asara B’Tevet

Friday Fasts


Fridays shouldn’t be a fast day. I need my morning coffee to wake up my brain and get working on this million page E-mail that you get weekly. I have three drashos to prepare for Shabbos. Now granted this week, I don’t plan on giving a Friday night drasha. It’s hard enough to keep my people there and not join the breakoff minyan for my sermons, or head out after Mincha to the shul that the Rabbi doesn’t speak between Kabbalas Shabbos and Mariv on a regular Friday night. Forget about when their stomach is growling, and they as well haven’t had a morning coffee.


I rarely even speak Shabbos morning unless I’m serving a chulent Kiddush afterwards. I’ve always been a big believer that being a Rabbi means feeding their body and soul. A drasha without a chulent kiddush is like putting on the hand tefillin without the head one. Like Matza without Shulchan Orech. Like salad without steak. Like crackers without herring. Bagel without lox or even cream cheese. Yeah… it’s a fast day tomorrow, and that’s what’s on my mind. If you’re reading this while you’re fasting and getting hungry, then it should be a lesson to you read Rabbi Schwartz’s E-Mails when you can eat. There’s always going to be some food reference. Print it up for your Shabbos table.


So although I only have two drashos this week. There’s still a whole lot to do on Fridays. I've got to get the shul in order. Put up the chulent there. That’s besides at least pretending to help Aliza with the erev Shabbos errands and cleaning. As well one of my most important Erev Shabbos jobs is to make sure the food tastes good for Shabbos. Especially the weekly shul chulent. So it’s really inconvenient to have a fast on Friday. It’s why in general our sages worked out that we postpone the fast if it falls out on Erev Shabbos. Except for this one... What's up with dat? 


Now the truth is that over all though it's not that bad of a fast. It's the shortest one on the Jewish calendar. I plan on getting up and having a coffee even before the fast; before 5:06 AM.. Then I can have my cheese Danish as well. Am I the only one out there thinking like this? What do you think about on a fast day? Oh yeah… I forgot something bad happened today. Unlike our holidays where they tried to kill us-we won-let's eat, our fast days are about that they tried to kill us-they did-let's not eat. It feels sinful to be thinking about food on a day that Jews died. Maimonides tells us that the point of the fast day is for us to increase our Teshuva, our sins that have caused this destruction. I guess we have to do something to distract ourselves from the food, so let's talk about what happened today. What are we meant to do Teshuva for? Who died? Why am I not eating? What is this fast of the tenth day of Tevet all about?


The truth is it's kind of a strange fast day. The Talmud tells us that on the tenth of Tevet the Romans sieged the city of Jerusalem. OK, a siege is a bad thing. But the truth is compared to the other fasts that surround the destruction of the Temple this seems kind of minor. The 17th of Tamuz the walls were breached and the massacres began. On the 9th of Av of course both temples were destroyed. Even the fast of Gedalia right after Rosh Hashana the last hope post-Temple of Jewish life in Yehuda and Yerushalayim died when one Jew assassinates the leader of the remaining community of Israel. But a siege? We've had plenty of those. And no fasts.


Even more fascinating the Talmud tells us that the tenth of Tevet is more severe than any of the other fasts in that if it would fall out on Shabbos (which it doesn’t as we arrange the calendar so it does not) one would fast even on Shabbat. It’s why we are fasting today unlike other fasts falls out on Friday which are postponed. The reason is because the verse in Yechezkel (24:2) that describes the day tells us


 "Son of man write for yourself -this dayThis very day the King of Babylonia has reached Jerusalem this very day"


Wow! This very day…Those words in Hebrew B'Etzem Ha'Yom HaZeh, are used on very significant moments. The day we left Egypt, the day Hashem brought the flood, the day Moshe died as well as the holiest and most important fast day of the year Yom Kippur. The Avudraham, the 14th century halakhist derives that the prophet is telling us that this day just as Yom Kippur would even be fasted on Shabbat. Can you imagine? No chulent! What is it about this day, which really in most other ways is pretty lenient and short. It is after-all only a daytime fast and doesn’t have any of the stringencies as Tisha B'Av which begins the night before and when which we can't wash or even greet people as we are in mourning. The tenth of tevet seems kind of mild in comparison.


A bit of a clue can be found in one of the extra fast selichot supplications which we say in the morning that mentions a few other events that happened on the 8th and 9th of Tevet. Seemingly there is a connection between them and the fast today. We are told that on the 8th of Tevet during the second Temple the Greek King Ptolmey ordered 72 Rabbis into separate rooms and had them translate the entire Torah. Miraculously they all made changes from the literal text that would avoid any mistaken interpretations and they each independently made the same adjustment. (There are those that are more cynical that suggest the miracle would have been greater if you had put them all in the same room and they came out with the same translation in agreement). Although this was a great miracle the Rabbis saw in this a reason to declare a fast day of mourning. Again, the question is why? I'm sure all the newspapers at the time heralded the miracle and advancement of Jewish scholarship.


The next day is the 9th of Tevet, yesterday, which was declared a fast day because it was the day of the death of the great leader at the beginning of the 2nd Temple Ezra the Scribe. This as well seems perplexing. We do not have any fast days for any great leaders. Not Abraham, Not Moshe. Not Joshua not King David, why Ezra? In addition, it's not like he died a tragic death or was killed. He seemingly died of old age. It's sad, yes. We lost a leader, but it happens. That's life…or death. Why the national day of mourning for all of history?


The answer, I heard from one of my teachers, is that all of these days are precisely connected. Who was Ezra? Ezra was the great leader who was given the job of getting the Jews to come back to Israel after 70 years of Exile in Babylonia and Persia and to rebuild the Temple. And you know what? The Jews didn't come. They ignored his call. They were quite comfortable in America, I mean Persia J. They were happy to send donations and contributions, don't get me wrong, but really? Israel? Aliya? The Temple? We'll come visit on our vacation time. We have Torah, Yeshivos, schools and our community here. In the words of Rabbi Yehudah Halevi the author of the Kuzari who describes that period.


Alas, King of Kuzar, you have exposed my point of disgrace! Indeed, this sin prevented the fulfillment of that which God had destined for the Second Temple… For Divine Providence was ready to rest upon [the Jews] as at first, if they had all willingly heeded the call and returned to Eretz Yisrael. However, only a minority took heed, while the majority–including the most prominent among them–remained in Babylonia, acquiescing to exile and bondage, just so that they would not have to part with their dwellings and businesses… If we would be prepared to draw near to the God of our forefathers wholeheartedly, He would save us as He saved our ancestors in Egypt. But since that is not the case, our utterances of “Who restores His presence to Zion,” etc. are like the chirping of the birds, for we say these things without proper intent. (Kuzari 2:24)"


The fast of Ezra is the fast of the complacency of the Jews. We didn't heed the call. We didn't see the opportunity.


Similarly, the 8th of Tevet when the Torah was translated. The Jews heralded it as a great thing, a miracle! Now our neighbors can read and learn about us. Now our own children will be accepted into Greek culture, gymnasiums and universities. The UN will smile upon us. We are a nation like every other one. Our Torah is an accepted religious book and they might even start lighting Menorahs in their Greek White Houses next to the other "traditional" winter holidays. The Jews, failed to see that this was the beginning of the end. The Torah lost its neshoma, it's soul. The headlines the next day blared "We have made it!" what we didn't realize was that we had really lost it.

Which brings us to today, the tenth of Tevet. It was a regular day in Jerusalem. Everyone clicked on their news apps and whadaya know? The king of Babylonia has laid siege on Jerusalem. Oh well. Any missiles fall? No. Any injuries? No. Ahhh.. Baruch Hashem Thank God! I guess that's just life in Israel. We should really hold new elections for a new king that will do something about these pesky attacks and sieges. Now back to work. The restaurants and stores all remained opened. Life continued… for the next THREE YEARS! And it got worse and worse. And we seemed to have failed to hear the message. To see the impending doom. We had too much faith that "Jerusalem will never fall" Hashem will never let us lose the temple and the holy city. He needs us as much as we need Him. We continued to eat our danishes….



And then it happened; The 17th of Tamuz, Tisha B'Av and even the fast of Gedalia. It was over. We are without a home. The prophet tells us that we should remember "this very day". The day we didn't listen. A day that looked and seemed like any other. Write it down and remember that there are no simple days in Israel; not while the Temple is destroyed. Listen for the messages and the cries of Ezra for us to come home, to stop assimilating and looking to the world for light. We fast even on a Friday today, because we have to realize that Shabbos is not coming if we don’t wake up and listen. It’s not erev Shabbos… It’s Erev Tisha B’Av. It’s October 6th and we’re not listening to the chayalot that are screaming about white terrorist tenders that are gathering around our “fortified fences”. By the way in case you didn’t get the message, last year as well the tenth of Tevet also fell out on Friday… That’s two years in a row an anomaly that last happened the year of Yom Kippur War… and that won’t happen again for another 47 years. Although by then it will certainly be a Yom Tov…


The Shabbos that comes, when we ignore the messages is not Simchas Torah. It’s death and destruction. If the only way we'll wake up is to even take away our chulent on Shabbat- so be it. Stop eating and start fasting. Maybe if we would’ve got the message it would’ve been different. We need that return. We need to hear the call to fix the problems and to start repairing the fighting and lack of commitment to Hashem, His Torah and His land. We need to stop chirping like birds and start meaning and acting on the hopes and dreams of all our ancestors. That's why we are not eating today and that's why we are not yet home yet.


This week, the book of Bereishis concludes with Yaakov and Yosef's last request to be taken out of Egypt and buried in the land of Israel. The reason was to remind all their generations that we need to come home. It’s a parsha of last messages that are eternal. Messages that guide us home. Next week we begin the Book of Exodus, redemption. May it truly herald in the final redemption. I don't want to fast another day. I want all of us finally home.


Have a meaningful fast and a great Shabbos

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 



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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Keyner iz nit azoy toyb vi der vos vil nit hern.” - Better the best of the worst than the worst of the best.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

3. In which century did the “Return to Zion” (“Shivat Zion”) begin? ______

Who was the governor of the Province of Judah during the Persian period, and the restorer of

Jerusalem’s walls?


A. Ezra

B. Nehemiah

C. Darius

D. Ahasuerus


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/yesimcha  One of my nicest compositions according to many fans… This week’s parsha Yesimcha… The blessing for children Wow!!


 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PjWZUpRQfc – Recently discovered “NEW” Shlomo Carlebach song “Nigun Vayigash” with Yehuda Solomon and Shlomo Katz


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnHKG2UiSdo&list=OLAK5uy_lBTsYUu17Yt5Kx_3J-jLCAyOqd_VlBNPA    – If you ask me… This is the nicest album Baruch Levine has ever put out… All of the golden Pirchei oldies… And Moishie Mendlowitz too… This is one link that you will listen to again and again and put on your favorites or download..


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt-wMk59OwM  Ari Goldwag’s latest release Tikva Tova… Beautiful…



RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


Yirmiyahu- 627 BC – We’ve reached the beginning of the final spiral towards destruction and Exile. And one of our guides and sources for all that will take place is none other than the Prophet Yirmiyahu. He is the author of Sefer Melachim according to Chazal, as well as his own book and Eicha/Lamentations that we recite on Tisha B’AV. He saw it all. He warned us about all. He’s one of the most unique prophets. Let’s get to know him a bit as we enter this next phase of our history.

 

Born in Anatot, which is right outside of Yerushalayim near Maalei Adumim today in the portion of Binyamin, Yirmiyahu came from a family of Kohanim. Unlike many of the other prophets Yirmiyahu’s prophecy isn’t always grammatically correct, the Abarbanel attributes this to the fact that he started prophesying at a very young age. In his own home even he was not really accepted and the Navi refers to himself as a man of strife and fighting. He was ultimately threatened to stop his prophecies and was chased out by the people of Anatot including his own family members. This fate as the prophet that no one wanted to accept or listen to followed him throughout his days. Yet unlike other prophets that had similar fates Yirmiyahu becomes the only prophet to demand revenge from Hashem on those who pursued him. He doesn’t take this fate sitting down. He understands he has a bigger job to do and he thus moves to Yerushalayim.

 

He begins his work as a prophet in the 13th year of Yoshiyahu and he even feels that perhaps the danger of destruction could be averted with the King’s teshuva movement. He travels to find and collect the 10 tribes and return them to the land. Yet, the teshuva movement didn’t last. The nation had hidden idols behind their cabinet doors. There are many places in Israel, such as in Tel Arad and others where archeologists have discovered idols and even altars that were taken apart, but not destroyed. The Navi records many conversations that Yirmiyahu has and prophecies thus about the impending destruction that will befall. The anger Hashem has to us. His disappointment in our nation that thought that sacrifices without meaning are what He is looking for, That somehow it will make Hashem forget and ignore the corruption and idolatry that was plaguing our nation.

 

We will continue the life and times and prophecies of Yirmiyahu in the coming weeks. With Asara B’Tevet this week we start the beginning of the end with the last battle of Yoshiyahu, who’s only really failure was not consulting with Yirmiyahu before he went to war.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FUNNY IGNORE JOKES OF THE WEEK


In the city, you ignore sirens and listen for gunshots. In the country, you ignore gunshots and listen for sirens. In Detroit, you ignore both.

 

As a true American Patriot I always put phone numbers I want to ignore under the contact "Freedom". Because I always let Freedom Ring.

 

Moshe is waiting on the platform at the station. He notices a Jewish man standing nearby and asks him for the time. But the man ignores him. Moshe then asks him again, and the man responds in the same way. Frustrated, Moshe asks "Excuse me, but I've asked you for the time twice, why are you ignoring me"

Suddenly, the man looks up and says, "We're both waiting for the train, if I answer you, then when we get on the train you will come and sit next to me, we will probably start talking, and I may invite you to my house for Shabbat, there you will meet my daughter, you will probably like her, you may eventually want to marry her, and to be honest with you, WHY WOULD I WANT A SON IN LAW WHO CAN'T AFFORD A WATCH?"

 

My wife has been addicted to Netflix lately and has started to ignore me... ...So I went ahead and renewed the subscription for another 10 years.

 

i tried to ignore my girlfriend's bulimia. but she kept bringing it back up

 

Berel woke up one Shabbos morning in a bad mood. When he came down to breakfast, he put on his yarmulka and sat across the table from his visiting sister, Sarah.

"I'm not going to shul today!" he said to Sarah emphatically.

"Yes you are." Sarah replied calmly.

"No I'm not . . . I don't think I really want to ever go again!" Berel said with obvious irritation. "The people down there don't like me, they ignore me sometimes . . . they don't appreciate me at all . . . and I won't go back."

"Yes, you will go today, and you will continue", said Sarah with confidence. And, I'll give you two reasons. Number one, you're 45 years old ... and Number two, you're the Rabbi!"

 

They say Donald Trump was charged with crimes that would have been ignored if someone else had committed them. I guess orange really is the new black. (OK not all of you will get this… But if you do it’s funny…- but don’t try too hard…)

 

Is it ok to ignore dumplings in my Chinese takeout? Or will I be charged with wonton neglect?

 

You know what happens to those who ignore the past? They usually fail their history exam.

 

I get ignored so much.My name should be Terms and Conditions.

 

Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement......in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

 

One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H ...in Hour, Honour. ...etc. ...??????

My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent ".......

I was even more confused. During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.

I ate all the food and returned her the empty container.

My English Teacher : What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.

I replied, "sir, I thought 'H' was silent.

 

I asked my acupuncturist to use smaller needles this time, but they ignored me. I’ve never felt so stabbed in the back.

 

A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."

The man tries to ignore the bowl of pretzels and orders a fine Pilsner beer. The bowl of pretzels then says "Ooooh, a pilsner, great choice. You're a smart man."

Starting to freak out, the guy says to the bartender "Hey what the heck is going on, this bowl of pretzels keeps saying nice things to me!"

Bartender says "Don't worry about it, the pretzels are complimentary."

 

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The answer to this week”s question is B – So I got this one right Baruch Hashem… Although it is a bit of a trick question. See, we all know that the Churban of the second Temple was in the year 70 CE. As well we have a tradition that the second temple stood for 420 years. Thus if you do the math subtracting backwards it would put the beginning of the era when Ezra came back with the Jews from Bavel to be in approximately the year 370 BCE or so, which would make the answer the 4th century. Yet, according to most Ezra’s return of the Shivat Tzion is in the year 530 BC or so… Or if we want to date it to 70 years from the siege of Jerusalem it would be 516 BC. As the siege of Asara B’Tevet took place in 586 BC. So as you see this is a historical problem. There have been many explanations written about what Rav Shimon Schwab addresses as “The missing 150 years”. But anyways I knew the answer they were looking for was the 6th century and therefore got it correct. The walls were of course built by Nechemia who was the governor of Jerusalem. It really wasn’t until Alexander the great came about 150 years later that we became independent. And about 130 years after that when the kingship returned to Israel in the second temple with Yehuda Hamaccabee on Chanuka! So the new score is Rabbi Schwartz 2 Ministry of Tourism 1 on this exam so far.