Seeing Happy Clouds- Sukkot 5785 2024

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

October 16^th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 51 14^th of Tishrei 5785

 Sukkos Edition

Seeing Happy Clouds

OK Guys, Is everyone ready for the big holiday this year? Pesach we have a whole month worth of cleaning of our house. Really Yeshivish people are baking their own burnt matzas a month before already and even cutting wheat and getting the water ready. Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur we have the whole month of Elul to prepare. Purim starts already from the beginning of Adar being happy. While on the opposite end of the spectrum Tisha B’Av our mourning starts from three weeks before and we get sadder and smellier without showers at the end by the time we’re sitting on the floor mourning. Even Chanuka it seems like already right after Sukkos the stores are already selling doughnuts here in Israel already. It’s never too early to start with those sufganiyot.

Yet Sukkos doesn’t work that way… the second Yom Kippur is over we’re banging nails and hanging decorations. We have to run out to the Shuk and pull out our magnifying glass- so that no one suspects that we don’t know anything and won’t marry our daughters, and pretend that there really is much of a difference between this shape, and that black dot all the while extolling the virtues of Etrogs with or without a pitum and or gartel and lulavs with or without a kneppel. We’re cooking like mad. Everyone is coming over, We’ve got three days until the chag and guess what? I’m out touring with my fancy (and dedicated and committed to Eretz Yisrael to come particularly this year, when who knows what might happen) American tourists who paid a million dollars on El Al to fly here and don’t have to worry about any of the above. They have “people” that take care of all of that stuff for them. They have more important things to do. They have to tour with me and make sure I’m not home to have to do all my Chag preparations. In the past. I had five kids at home that would do that for me. It’s down to Tully and Elka now… And Elka went to Yerushalayim with friends.. Wish me luck brothers.

To make it even more fun, we’ve got missiles falling on our heads in Karmiel. It’s amazing that we lasted until now without any. When Nasralla was around we had an understanding. He would leave me and my city alone and I would leave him alone. But since the Israelis took him out, these new guys running the show over there didn’t exactly get the message. There must be a beeper malfunction or something. So we’ve got missiles, sirens, a very traumatized wife and dog… I don’t know which one of them is worse off. Yes… I don know who I care about more. Chase doesn’t make chulent. Yup… It’s a fun holiday that seems to just jump right out at us. Kind of like this whole year did, to be honest… Yet, God willing this as well should be at the opposite extreme.

Yet besides all of those other details and preparations for the mitzvos of the holiday, there’s one big mitzva that is perhaps the most encompassing mitzva of the entire 8 days coming up on us. It’s more than Sukka, Its more than eating meals, it’s more than the times we take our Lulav and Etrog and shake it around, it’s more than all of the prayers and hallels that we say. It’s a mitzva every single minute of the next 8 days. A Mitzva that for many this year is going to be one of the hardest they have ever had to fulfill. One that in fact, it’s pretty much impossible to fully realize in the matziv that we are in. It’s the mitzva of Va’hayisa ach samayach- we are meant to be only happy. Exuberant. Rejoiceful. Celebratory. Flying on cloud 9. Clouds of glory, that is.

Are you feeling it…? Have you prepared for it? Can you get there? This is not a just eat in the Sukkah, shake the Lulav, go to shul or even sukkah hop or dance at a simchat beit Ha’Shoeiva for a few sweaty hours. It’s not even going on a Chol Ha’Moed tour all day with Rabbi Schwartz, which should make it easier for you. This is 24/7 every minute of the day for the next 8 days- and you Americans that haven’t yet merited to be living in the Holy Land need an extra day as well, the only emotion we have to be feeling and expressing is happiness and joy. Who’s up for the task?

How do we get there? How do we feel that this year, when Simchas Torah is looming right in front of us and there are so many Shuls with empty seats. With children in Gaza. With husbands in Lebanon who haven’t seen their families for months. With burnt houses and bloody peace festival sites fresh in our brains. With almost a hundred thousand of our brothers and sisters who have been living in Diros Arai- temporary dwellings for over a year already, while their houses, chicken coops and barns are being blown up? Only happy? Really? How do we get there? How do I get there?

So Hashem sent me a gift this year. This weekly E-Mail is always the merit that Hashem utilizes to send me something original, a new insight, some mind-blowing inspiration, words of comfort and chizuk that will carry me through the week. And as well give me something to speak about in my Shul, as until this moment, who has time to prepare drashos for Shabbos. It’s the selfish reason, why I have my shul to be honest. It’s the only way I merit Hashem sharing this chizuk with me… It’s worth the investment and all of the shnorring I have to do from you guys. And thank you so much for all of those of you who responded to my appeal. The rest of you can just unsubscribe now…thank you… Just joiking… I love you too… The other added benefit is of course that I get to daven for the amud, as I’m not really good at sitting through other people’s leading the service or drashos for that matter…

Now in past years, I always understood that famous Gaon of Vilna, idea that many mention that to understand what a word means in Hebrew you have to look at the first time the word is mentioned in the Torah. And as I’m sure many of you will respond if I asked them where the first time the word Sukkah is mentioned, you would tell me that it is found by Yaakov Avinu when he builds Sukkot- for his animals after leaving the house of Lavan. There’s lots of Torah about that. You’ve heard it all before. It’s about understanding that our physical possessions are all temporary. It’s understanding that Hashem gives us all the blessing we have. This year though I found an earlier source for the word Sukka. One that I never noticed before and one that is mind-blowing and as you will read, eye-opening.

Rabbeinu Bachaya notes that rather than the word booths as being the source for the word Sukka, it actually has its root in another word. Actually not a word, but in an unlikely name. The word Sukkah, he writes, comes from the name Yiska. Yiska, the Torah tells us was the daughter of Haran and it seems according to the Midrash was the alternate name for our Matriarch Sarah, before she got married to Avraham, and yeshivished her name out. Who knows? Maybe they asked Reb Chayim Kanievsky for a bracha for children and he made them change her name…

Rashi tells us in his first pshat of the name Yiska that she was thus called because she was socheh with Ruach Ha’Kodesh- she was able to envision with the Holy Spirit and kulan sochin b’yofiya- and all would gaze at her beauty. So there you have it. The root of the word Sukkah for the first time in the Torah is to gaze, to perceive, to envision. The root of the word Sukkah, and seemingly the essence of the mitzva is see and reveal things that one doesn’t necessary appreciate on the surface without a deep penetrating look. As well Unkelus by the parsha of Bilam when Bilam gazes- Vayishkof- translates the word in Aramaic as “Itchisei”- he looked deeply and beyond.

If you think about Sarah Imeinu, when the Torah gives us her name, I think that we would probably look at her with sorrow. He father Haran, was just burnt up in a fiery furnace by the evil king Nimrod. Unlike his brother Avraham who was miraculously saved, he wasn’t that meritorious. He said Shema Yisrael, just as his brother did. He was willing to sacrifice himself to be martyred rather than to bow down to idolatry. Yet, it didn’t help. If one thinks about it for a second, which I never really did before this year. Haran was in fact the first person to be martyred on Kiddush Hashem- sanctifying Hashem’s name. Yet like the so many kedoshim that died this year, he wasn’t saved, and perhaps until that very last moment and breath that they took, they didn’t know or appreciate how sacred their lives were. Until their neshoma left them with Hashem Echad in their last breath.

Sarah, his daughter, however took that trauma, that holiness, and she saw beyond that sorrow and grieving and questions of faith that her father had. She perceived that there would be a future. That Hashem was good. That it’s not the moment that defines us. It’s how we are given the ability to define the moment. To elevate it. To see Hashem’s salvation ahead of us. It’s to walk out of the fiery furnace, the death and destruction and to have beauty that shines through that everyone can gaze at and be in awe of. It’s the beauty and faith of the so many I have met, that understand as we all do that Hashem has a Plan we don’t understand, but that we can perceive with our Ruach Ha’Kodesh. With the miracles he does preform for us. Yiska/Sarah walks out of the death of her father, the martyr Haran and she marries and connects to Avraham who was saved from that same fire. From that Kibbutz. She connected to the miracle and not to the tragedy. She walked in the tent of Avraham where she lived the rest of her life and stood at the petach ha’ohel- she stood in his Sukkah. She recognized that the world is just temporary. That life is whatever path Hashem takes us on. And with that Sukka she went from being Sarai- not just the princess of Avraham, but Sarah, the princess and Matriarch of our nation and the world.

Of the four species that we take on Sukka, our sages tell us that they each represent different body parts. The Lulav is our spine, the Etrog is the heart, Aravot are shaped like our lips and the Hadasim/myrtles are eyes. The Haddasim are unique though, because unlike the other species that all match up, as we have one heart, one spine and two lips and thus two aravot and one of each of the others, Hadassim has three branches and they each have clusters of three leaves. This is seemingly strange because it doesn’t match up with our two eyes. As well, funny enough a Lulav, Etrog and even Aravot that aren’t kosher are called pasul-invalid. Yet when the Hadassim are lacking in their leaves its referred to as a Hadas shoteh- a stupid or foolish hadas… Hmmm… I don’t know how politically correct that sounds. What would the leave activists have to say about that? Shouldn’t we refer to them a foliage challenged perhaps.

The answer is that on Sukkos we are granted an extra eye. It’s the eye of Ruach Hakodesh, it’s the one that we get when we enter the Sukkah. It’s the eye that tells us that all that we are seeing in the world outside of the Sukkah is not what it seems. The real world is one that has the clouds of glory surrounding us at all times. That is watching over us. That the martyrs are in a better place and are in fact right there in our Sukkah with us at our table. They are there with our Ushpizin. With Avraham and Sarah. With each of our Patriarchs through King David on the last night. That the real world is a beautiful Sukkah. That Hashem is dwelling in our midst. It’s a world that this year has seen tens of thousands of missiles that would have decimated any other country and that statistically should’ve killed hundreds of thousands, but that bounced off the clouds of glory that all of the Iron Domes, Davids Slingshots and Arrows could never of pulled off and defended us from without Hashem’s hand and protective clouds. It’s a world that is getting closer and closer to Mashiach. That we are being prepared to step into that holy Sukkah of Hashem, the Sukkat Dovid Hanofelet- that Sukkah of Hashem that has perhaps fallen, but has never really been destroyed. That is in the process of being raised and uplifted to heights we’ve never achieved before. It’s bringing the Shechina back into our midst.

Someone who doesn’t see this is a shoteh- he’s not merely blind. He has two eyes that he’s looking with, but he’s not gazing and perceiving with that third eye. The eye of Ruach Hakodesh that we all have and have been given. He’s living in the moment and not seeing beyond it. He doesn’t recognize how much Hashem is doing for us, and how our Father is bringing us to the final game. To His palace. To redemption. To being happy all of the time. Happiness isn’t something that happens. In fact happiness is the opposite of happen-ness. It’s adding the yud at the end of the ‘happ’ and transforming the world from a place where things happen to a place that sees Hashem and his little yud and becomes Happy. Cute? Right?

To become happy doesn’t take a lot of work, this year, if you think about it for one second. More than any other year, we have seen that what has been happening to us, to Jews all over the world, is that it’s not something that is happening. It’s something that is surreall. It’s Ruach Ha’Kodesh. We were given a third eye last year on Simchat Torah when we left our Sukkah. It’s an eye that showed us that everything we thought was true about the world is over. The redemption is coming. Hashem has fully taken over the wheel. We’ve spent a year in shelters. We’ve spent a year davening. We’ve spent a year doing chesed and emotionally and spiritually reaching realms we never did before. We’ve spent a year entering the Sukkah of Hashem. We’ve gotten there. We’re home. We can be happy. We have that third eye. We’re not shotim- fools, blind. Let the rejoicing begin!

Have an amazing joyous, festive, redemptive Sukkos,

Warmly

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

This week's Insights and Inspiration is dedicated in appreciation of the so many of you who have partnered with us this past High Holiday season and answered our bi-annual appeal. Your contributions and friendship is so meaningful and I can’t express how much it means to me and my shul. May Hashem bless all of you and your families with an incredible year full of only good and deliciousness…

 For those that still want to donate we’re always here for your sponsorship and our appeal hasn’t shut down yet and you can contribute on this US Tax deductible link below.

 https://interland3.donorperfect.net/weblink/weblink.aspx?name=E343033&id=50

 CHAG SAMAYACH!

*********************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" A lustiger dales gait iber alles.."- Happy poverty overcomes everything.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

 https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ushpizin – In honor of Sukkos one of my most beautiful Sukkos songs.. and you know theres a need for a good hartzig one “Ushpizin”

 https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lmaan-yeydu-vsamachta – And of course the only song you get a mitzva d’oraysa for singing in your sukka- dance away- v’samachta my composition

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VgOkrC_L-Q – Shlomo Carlebach on Sukkos… Awesome..

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

25.The governing center of the Palestinian Authority is located in the city of _______ What proportion of Israel’s population are Arab-Israelis?

A)  Arounf 20% 

B) Around .5%

C) Around 10%

D)  Around .35%

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

25) The governing center of the Palestinian Authority is located in the city of _______

What proportion of Israel’s population are Arab-Israelis?

a) Around 20%

B) Around 5%

C) Around  10%

D) Around  35%

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S HAPPY JOKES OF THE WEEK

Why was the mortgage so upset? Because it was a loan

Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them!

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Berkowitz was in the best hospital in Long Island and was moaning the whole time, finally he was transferred to a crummy hospital in Brooklyn, happy as anything, they ask him what the problem was before, he said before I had nothing to complain about ... HERE I CAN COMPLAIN!!!!

Shlomo and Hetty, an elderly widow and widower, had been dating for about three years when Shlomo finally decided to ask Hetty to marry him. She immediately said "yes". 
The next morning when he awoke, Shlomo couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so. Wait, no, she looked at me funny..." 
After about an hour of trying to remember, but to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave Hetty a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to his proposal. 
"Oh", Hetty said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

At his 103rd birthday party, Zadie Herman Rosenbaum was asked by his great grandson Shmueli if he planned to be around for his 104th. "I certainly do Shmueli," Zadie Herman replied. "As a matter of fact, statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

The answer to this week”s question is A – OK! We’re continuing this year with the same exam as last, up to question 25 but at least Im off to a great start with the first question right. The capital of the PA is of course Ramalla. Which should very soon hopefully get wiped out to the ground killing all of the Hamas lovers inside of it. And the Israeli Arab population is about 2 million or so which is about 20% of the Israeli Jewish population. As well.. All of those that don’t like us living here should get killed god willing soon. So here we start off the new year and the exam scor stands at. So I got this one half right and thus the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having a 16 point and the MOT having 9 point on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

  Insights & Information is sent to e-mail addresses that of have been submitted to the Rabbi Schwartz. To unsubscribe at any time, I send an e-mail to rabbschwartz@yahoo.com   with the words "unsubscribe insights" in the Subject line and/or the first line of text. If you know of anyone that may be interested in receiving this newsletter feel free to pass this on to them...

 

 

 

Triple Shabbos - Yom Kippur 5785 2024

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

October 11^th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 50 9^th of Tishrei 5785

 Yom Kippur

Triple Shabbos!

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

 October 11^th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 50 9^th of Tishrei 5785

 

Yom Kippur

 

Triple Shabbos!

I can’t believe you actually have time today to open up this E-Mail from me… It’s Erev Yom Kippur. The Day of Judgement, when we should all be signed and sealed for a good sweet year. There’s a mitzva to eat all day today, because tomorrow we can’t. Someone told me that last Shabbos we ate last year’s food. This Shabbos we don’t eat at all, and next Shabbos we eat out in the street… It’s especially hard this year because on Yom Kippur we’re not just giving up a regular Sunday or Monday schnitzel or hamburger dinner, we’re giving up chulent. We’re giving up Kugel. We’re giving up Shabbos food… That’s real suffering. What more can Hashem ask from us… That’s gotta count for something big up in heaven… right?

But as we know Hashem is not interested in our suffering. He wants our good. He’s our Father. He stands ready to come home. To Return to us. For us to Return to Him. The fasting is just to make us realize that it’s not all about the chulent. It’s not about the Shabbos nap. It’s not even about the Torah we learn. In fact Yom Kippur is the day that we received the second set of Luchos and Ten commandments. The Talmud even refers to it as our wedding day with Hashem as a result of that. Even more than Shavuot. And whadaya know? We don’t even mention the giving of the Torah or standing at Sinai, despite the fact that on Rosh Hashana we mention it quite a lot. Why not?

The reason is because it’s not about the Torah even in of itself. The Torah is just a symbol a ketuva. A wedding document that unites us with Hashem. Yom Kippur is about us and Him. It’s about finding Him within ourselves. It’s about leaving our bodies behind for the day and uniting and exulting with our Creator; our Father; our Beloved. When we do that, then all is forgiven. We’re one. We don’t need chulent or to nap to feel and rejoice with Hashem. Lesser beings that are bound and have to cater to their bodies and that are held down by their mortal desires and needs need those perks to connect and feel divine. On Yom Kippur we’re way above and beyond that. We are one with the Kohen Gadol when he recites the name of Hashem. We are on the floor bowed and prostrated in the House of Hashem. There is no sin. There is no body. We are all soul. We are One with Him.

That’s where we’re heading tomorrow. Every year Yom Kippur is referred to as Shabbat Shabbaton- a double Shabbos. It’s Shabbos that takes us beyond this world. This year it’s a triple Shabbos because it actually is Shabbos as well. The root of the word Shabbos is return- It’s teshuva. It’s getting back to the beginning. Tapping into our deepest core. Going back to that one Shabbos that we never merited to spend in the Garden of Eden when each part of our souls was part of Adam Harishon- the first Man; the first Creation. Us. Right from Day One we sinned and we’re expelled. 5785 years we’re still waiting to return to that Shabbos that we never experienced.  It’s been a long journey. But we’re at Bein Hashmashos again. We are twilight Erev Shabbos. We’re ready to make kiddush. To be brought back to that heavenly table. Our Father has been waiting for so long to have Shabbos with us. May this year be the year that we finally spend Shabbos with Him redeemed.

See, how short I could write when I’m in a rush… 😊 Now you’ll ask me why I don’t do that every week. I forgive you… But hey…it ain’t easy… Week in and week out, trying to share some thoughts, some inspiration, some insights and even Torah with all of you. But you make it worth it. I appreciate you reading. I appreciate your comments and feedback. I appreciate your sponsorship and sharing. I feel like we’re a family and I’m humbled that my simple thoughts and ideas actually have so many of you that even open me up weekly if not every so often… And I know that the jokes aren’t good enough to bring you back alone. Thank you… You have no idea what it means for me personally and what chizuk it gives to me.

On that note, I’d like to ask you all for forgiveness. I can’t even count how many things I’ve done that truly wasn’t worthy of you to read, that may have upset you, that may have put you down- especially those of you that haven’t move to Israel yet… There I go again… But know that it truly was never with bad hurtful intent. Know that I love you, and if you haven’t unsubscribed and are still here, please as well find it in your hearts to daven for me, Ephraim ben Esther Baila and for my family together with all of you tefillos for Klal Yisrael, for our soldiers, for our hostages and their families, for the so so many that are suffering that need healing, that are homeless, that are in trauma that need salvation and simcha and for the Mashiach to finally come.

Finally and last but not least in any way shape or form, I turn to you once again and ask that you consider among all your contributions to consider our shul. To help and donate on the link below. You know that many times this year, you thought about it, you wanted to. This year has been very trying and difficult and your partnership and assistance really makes a big difference. Thank you to the so many that have donated already and continue to do so, through out the year. May Hashem bless all of us with a gut g’bentched yohr. A year that is unlike any other. One that brings us the simchas olam that we have waited and that the world has waited so long to experience.

Gmar Chatima Tova,

with all of the love in the year,

warmly,

Ephraim

An Untradeable Year- Parshat Nitzavim Vayelech 2024 5784

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

 September 27^th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 49 24^th of Elul 5784

Parshat Nitzavim-Vayelech

The Untradeable Year

 

“I wouldn’t trade this year for anything in the world” she told me. I understood what she was talking about. I was having a conversation with my fellow Tour/Travel planner par excellence, Ruth. We were commiserating about this past year and how it has affected our industry. How little business we had. How even the tourists or “war”ists that sporadically came had different expectations. How it was challenging to plan anything. How last-minute everything has been, how so many of our old haunts and itineraries were no longer around and how finding things for people to see and do was a whole new world and experience. Throw that together with the so many horrors and so much suffering that we’ve experienced this past year and the sometimes frustrated disconnect that we’ve experienced from those coming that wanted the traditional tour of Israel-without any awareness of what this country and our nation has been and is going through, and needless to say the year 5784 has been the most devastating year of my and perhaps anyone in this countries lifetime. And that includes Corona…

 Yet, I concurred with what she said about not trading this year for anything. It has been life-changing. Every year on Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and this High Holiday season we pay lip service to doing teshuva and becoming changed and different people. But between you and me, we all know that never really happens. Sure, we improve every year. We make new resolutions. We may stop talking during davening. We may find a chavrusa and start learning something. Maybe the laws of lashon hara. We may even dramatically get rid of our smart-phone and get a stinking kosher phone. But let’s be honest, we’re still the same people. We haven’t moved that much up the ladder. We’re not like those baalei teshuva that we look at weirdly and incomprehensibly who threw away their entire previous lives and became frum and shomer shabbos, or those modern orthodox kids that flip out and go to the Mir. Both of those groups, by the way, also find themselves pretty much in the same boat as the rest of us after a few years or decades of being frum, where they also don’t really change that much. They put on the black hat already, how much more do they have to grow…

 This year though something different happened to pretty much everyone that was here, if not to every Jew in the world. We changed. We’re not the same Jews we were before Simchas Torah last year. Certainly not the same Jews that stood before Hashem last year on Rosh Hashana and asked for a sweet year and smiled and made jokes about simanim as we dipped our apples in honey and cringed at the fish heads on the table. We’re not going to be banging on our chests this year for sins that we did and asking for forgiveness with our major hope being that we don’t get written in any books that don’t have the word “Life” on them. We’re looking for so much more this year…

 When the chazan will say “who by fire and who by water”, “who by sword and who by wild beast” “who will rest and who will be forced to wander”, “who will live out their allotted time and who before their time”, like no other year before in our lives will those words have the same effect as they will this year. It’s real. It’s all of it. It wasn’t just one family here or there that had a tragedy that we will have to dredge up in our memory to give us a sense of the awesomeness and trepidation of the angels. This year all of those things happened to all of us. It’s still happening. When the chazan will conclude this piyyut with the “who will be humbled and who will be exalted… U’meee Yaroooommm” will we be able to stop crying?

 When we read Avinu Malkeinu again and again over the High Holidays and days of Teshuva, and mention those that have been “slaughtered in Your name”. Those that have been burnt, those that have been murdered for the sake of Your Oneness. “Have mercy on our children; on the nursing babies”. “Avenge the spilled blood of Your servant.” It has never been more real. When we read on Yom Kippur the story of the Ten Martyrs, we will wonder why it stops at ten. During Yizkor will there be more people sitting in shul rather than outside of Shul? How many of them will be children, will be fiancés, young brides or grooms, or newlyweds? How many orphans, widows, parents that have buried their child-or in many cases multiple children- will be sitting in shul this year for Yizkor. How many of them haven’t even had the closure of bringing their child to burial yet..

 No, we are not the same this year coming into these days. 5784 has changed us. We care much more than we ever have before about one another. We realized how petty all the stupidity that occupied and perhaps even stressed us in the past is. How small we were. We waited for Mashiach like never before and desperately understand how we really can’t hold on much longer without him. Without Hashem… We gave tzedaka like never before, we davened for people that we never knew or perhaps may not have even made it to our thoughts as people that we felt our prayers could ever even help. We cried for them. We lost sleep for them. We still can’t stop thinking about them every single day. When will they come home? When will we rejoice with them? When will their parents see the morning of October 8^th that they haven’t yet seen, as they remain frozen on that day when they last saw or heard from them. The day when the nightmare started and that they haven’t woken up from yet.

 Yet this year, despite how difficult and insane it has been, as well has seen many miracles. The amount of missiles that have fallen here and not done what our enemies had planned for them to destroy and kill is incomprehensible for those that have not learned about our history and the clouds of glory that protect us. The plans that the terrorists had for us for even that Simchat Torah morning and the cities that they had pretty much would’ve had free reign of massacring never were touched. The devastation that they had hoped to rampage in their bloody pursuit was 1000 fold what they actually did. And it wasn’t because the army came in time and stopped them. If the West Bank and all their “allies” whom they had hoped to rile up and join them would’ve risen. If our “cousins” Yerushalayim, in the Galil, in Jordan and Syria and Iran had all attacked us as well as they had hoped they would… we wouldn’t be reading this E-Mail right now. And again it wasn’t because they were sacred of us or had any less desire to have the river meet the sea. It’s been a year where there have been miracles and the Hand of Hashem has been revealed even in the darkness, and it continues to peek out from those cracks.

 We’ve even sung Mizmor L’Toda again and again this year. Remember when those hostages returned and we cried tears of relief, joy and perhaps even disbelief. When we danced at the Torah scroll dedications…so so many of them. When our soldiers wiped out our enemies. When we killed the Amalekite generals. When those beepers went off last week.  We’ve sung ashreinu- how fortunate we are. We appreciate that we’ve been Chosen. That we’re being put through the smelting pit of Egypt- the kur ha’barzel, as our sages refer to it, that is purifying us. That is making us whole. That is bonding us to one another. That is preparing us for something great. To become great. To reveal His Greatness.

 Yes, this year has been one that has changed us, that has birthed us anew. It’s been a year of curse and of blessing. But as this last parsha of the year begins… Atem Nitzavim Kulchem- we are still standing. Those that are here and those that are not. From the woodchopper in the kibbutz, the Rabbis in the yeshiva, the ones across the sea and across the heavens who are not far from us. Ki karov ha’davar me’od- The “davar”, that one thing that connects us all is close to us. It is in our heart and our souls. It has returned us to our essence.

 There is an incredible verse in this week’s parsha that perhaps says all of this. That predicts this end of days that we are experiencing.  

 “And it will be when all of these words, the blessing and the curse, which I have given before you come upon you. And you shall turn them to your hearts amongst all of the nations which Hashem has banished you. And you will return to Hashem, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul, and you will listen to His voice according to all that I am commanding you this day you and your children”.

 What makes this pasuk so fascinating is that Moshe tells us that it’s not just the curse that brings us back to Hashem, amazingly enough it’s the blessing that comes with it as well. The commentaries wonder about this verse. Generally speaking in the Torah when we have blessing it brings us to a place where we forget Hashem. We become fat. We become forgetful. We attribute everything to our own success. We lose focus on what we’re supposed to do with all that blessing. Why Hashem gave it to us. Why He chose us. What our purpose is. What He’s waiting for us to do here. Who He’s hoping we’ll kill for Him to cleanse this land for His Presence to finally rest here. The evil that He told us needs to be eradicated for Him to finally come Home. When times are good and there’s blessing, we forget all that. It’s only the curse that seem to wake us up and bring us close.

Someone once noted to me that if you see someone in shul, that you haven’t seen there in a long time. He’s sitting in a corner and davening with a lot of kavana. He’s shuckling back and forth. He’s raising his eyes and hands towards heaven and tears are pouring down his eyes. The one thing that I can pretty much assure you is the man didn’t win the lottery yesterday. He didn’t just get a raise from his boss. You know that something bad happened. That someone’s sick. That he got some very bad news. That he has no one else to turn to. Curses do that to us. They wake us up. They bring us close and home. Yet, Moshe tells us that it is not just the curse, but it is the blessing and the curse together that will ultimately return us.

 When someone feels cursed, they become paralyzed. When the curses increase more and more, when they become too much to bear, when one day just becomes worse than the previous and when hope after hope of a better tomorrow gets crushed, for most this leads to anguish and to despair. What’s the point? There’s nothing to live for. I’m cursed. Let it just be over with already.

 There’s a difference though when it comes to Klal Yisrael. When it comes to us. The difference is that we have the Torah. We have the song that Moshe taught us on this last day before he died. The song tells us that there is an end. The song foretold of all these curses that we would endure before that day came. The song told us Hashem knew we would sin. That we would fight. That we would assimilate. That we wouldn’t do what we were supposed to do and that He would bring these curses upon us. He told us all of this up front.

 If a person is supposed to undergo some painful treatments that will ultimately guarantee them that they could walk again, that they could breathe again, that they could see again; or perhaps even see for the first time in their lives. That the surgeries that they will undergo and the brutal grueling therapies that they have to endure will bring them a tomorrow that will be better than any day they ever lived until now. Then the curses themselves are not really curses, as painful as they may be. Because there is a blessing that preceded them. Because we knew and accepted them when we signed on the dotted line that ultimately we wanted to accept the mission to become the nation that will bring the world to its fulfillment. We accepted it eagerly. We understood that we wouldn’t trade it for anything.

 That song, that Moshe taught us, the Torah tells us, he taught us “ad tumam- until it’s completion”. Yet by chasidim they read the verse as saying it was taught to us until our completion. Until we become tamim- until we become perfect. It’s a song that will remind and show us that the Torah will never be forgotten from our children. The song is one that heavens and earth will give testimony of its eternality. The song of Ha’azinu, that we read the first Shabbos of the New Year next week, is perhaps sung to the tune of “Ani Ma’amin”. We believe. We have not lost faith. We wouldn’t trade it for anything. The curses have brought us home. Even as we walk in the shadow of death, we are not scared. We’re not paralyzed. We haven’t forgotten You. In fact, we see and are aware and are closer to You then we ever were before.

 The Dubna Magid gives an amazing parable of the end of days, when Hashem tells us He will finally redeem us. The verse says

 “And it will be, when they will encounter- ra’ot rabot v’tzarot- many evils and troubles, this song will bear witness against them, for it will not be forgotten from the mouth of their offspring.

 He explains these times to a person who sells fruits and vegetable in the shuk. Throughout the day, throughout the week, he has all of the nicest and most beautiful merchandise. His prices of course are reflective of that, and the nicest fruits are placed in a special area all attractively displayed. Yet as the day comes to an end and it’s getting closer to Shabbos when he knows that the next week is coming and he can’t sell anymore, the salesman takes all the fruits that he has left and throws them all into a bag in a corner and offers them in bulk for very cheap. There’s good, there’s bad, it’s all mixed together. But its all got to go. There’s no room for it next week. The day is almost over. That’s when you know Shabbos is coming in the Shuk.

 So, says the Maggid is our generation, the times that we’re living. Tzaros rabos v’ra’os- times of so many troubles, so much sadness, pain, loss, grief, so much incomprehensible horror and trauma. It’s all packed together and mixed up in one corner. But there’s a song that is playing throughout all of it in the background. A song that tells Hashem, that we wouldn’t trade it. That we see the blessing within the curse, that has predicted and warned us about it. That song that tells us that the shuk is closing up, that Shabbos is on the way. That the year is over and that the New Year will herald in an era for a nation that has been purified and completed. That the song has reached it climax, it’s finale.

 There is one more prayer and song that I think this year on the High Holidays we will appreciate and sing like never before. It’s one that always has meaning to me. Yet this year I feel it closer and more so then ever before.

 Ah-ah-ahnu ah ahmecha vi’ata Elokeinu- We are Your nation and You are our God.

Ah- ah ahnu banecha vi’ata Avinu- We are Your children and You are our Father

We are Your servants and You are our King

We are Your congregation and You are our portion

We are Your sheep and You are our shepherd

Anu Rayescha- We are Your loved one

V’ata Dodeinu and You are our beloved.

 And we would never want it any other way….There’s nothing to trade it for.

 Have an amazing last Shabbos of the year,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Nit mit shelten un nit mit lachen ken men di velt ibermachen...- Neither with curses nor with laughter can you change the world.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1dYHGXKH-8   –  Shulem Lemmer Ki Anu Amecha

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO5vagi_LjA   – Magnificent Selichos songs from yeshiva in KBY with the one and only Rav Hillel Pilei

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqQ5EtISaW0  – Chabad Anu Amecha

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO_MOZaqF_E       –  Tefen Eleinu Zanvel Weinberg awe inspiring…

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paAl5tNpygE     – Yackov Shwekey’s latest Anu Amecha

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

24. The name of an accepted scientific method for dating organic material is______

What is accepted as the event that differentiates between Prehistory and

History?

1. The invention of the wheel

2. The use of fire

3. The invention of writing

4. The use of iron

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK

Shabbos Selichos- For the Sefardim amongst us who have been reciting Selichos- those extra supplementary prayers that we add in this season all month long, they are ahead of the game. Yet for us Ashkenazim that perhaps takes a bit longer to wake up we begin this Motzai Shabbos with our recitation. The Shabbos when we begin this is called Shabbos Selichos because as the Imrei Kodesh of Amshinov teaches us that this last Shabbos we have the power to fix all of the Shabbosos of the year. As well the Belzer Rebbi teaches us that on Shabbos we become partners with Hashem in Creation and as Creation begins this week, we bring our partnership which is the prayers that we say for the world to come to fruition.

 Our selichos begin each morning with the prayer of Ashrei Yoshvei Beisecha. The Magen Avraham of Trisk explains that the first letters of each of those words aleph, yud and beis in gematria equal 13. The point of all of the selichos is to awaken those 13 attributes of mercy. In fact he says that we recite three primary selichos of the thirteen middos on the first night and on Erev Rosh Hashana and On the Selichos of Zechor Bris which equals 13x3= 39 which is the gematria of tal- dew. This is a reference of the dew of resurrection- techiyat ha’meisim. This is not for that ultimate day but to awaken the dead within us. The dormant feelings of repentance. We need new life.

 Hashem knows we will sin. Life isn’t about not sinning. It’s about returning. It’s about fixing. It’s about elevating. At the conclusion of our selichos we sing that beautiful song Ha’neshama Shelach- v’haguf pe’alach- the soul is Yours and the body is Your making, have mercy on your labor. But then we repeat it The soul is your but the guf is shelach- the body is also Yours, asei l’maan shemecha- save us for Your name. The difference between the two phrases, the Toldos Aharon Rebbe explains, is that originally when we are first born our body is perfect and untainted and is clearly the work of Hashem. Yet today we have spoiled, tainted and contaminated it. It’s not longer recognizable as Your work. Yet, Your Name is still within us. It’s still has Your signature on it. It’s in Your image. It belongs to You. For that name save us.

 Perhaps one last thought for our selichos, it is said that when Reb Simcha Bunim of Peshisch would conclude his selichos with the prayer how Hashem has answered the prayers of Avraham by the akeida, by Yitzchak, by Eliyahu at Mt. Carmel, by Dovid, by Elisha, by Mordechai and Esther and throughout all the generations, he would add one last sentence. He would say “Hashem who has answered Bunim throughout the year and my life should also answer me.”. He would tell his students that this was really the essence of all of the selichos. Is to come to that realization That Hashem is answering us. He's waiting to hear from us. He’s always there. And he should answer us as well today… May all of our tefillos be accepted.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Menashe’s Redemption- 642 BC -Three prophets had warned Menashe that his terrible acts, his heresy, his idolatry, his murder of masses including his own grandfather Yeshaya would have a price. He would be punished. It would seem that there would be no coming back from where how far he has fallen. Yet, there’s always a way back as we shall see. Yet sometimes Hashem’s preferred method of getting us to do teshuva- or perhaps even most times- wherein prophets tell us that we need to repent, doesn’t work. It’s then when Hashem ups His game and when it hurts. Yet, at the end as this week’s parsha tells us, we will return. We will come Home to Him. We will regret the waywardness of our mistaken ways.

 In Menashe’s case Divrey Ha’Yamim tells us that he was captured by the Assyrians and then the Babylonians started to torture and roast him alive in a large vat. Ouch! Even there in that vat he still didn’t get it. Our sages tell us that he continued to call out to all of his idols to save him. Now this wasn’t because he necessary believed in them, in fact quite the opposite. He did this as a ploy to get Hashem to answer Him when he finally turned to Him. To show Hashem and the world that there really is no One else besides Hashem that has the power to save. The angels in heaven even objected to Hashem forgiving Menashe, but Hashem responded by saying that if He doesn’t accept even the repentance of Menashe that the door will always be closed for people who have sinned. And thus in a fascinating Talmud it tells us that Hashem dug a tunnel under His throne of glory directly to Menashe’s vat where he was crying out and accepted his prayers and repentance and whisked him back to Yerushalayim. And whadaya know he became a changed man.

 Not only a changed man, but he removed the idols that he had placed, he put officers around Yehuda to enforce the law and even built up the City of Dovid, where the Assyrians had tried to breach in by the Gichon spring on the bottom as well as all the way up to the Ophel by the Southern Wall. He began a mass teshuva movement and brought offerings to Hashem in the Beit Ha’Mikdash. It was an entire turn-around. He had the longest reign of any king of Israel and whereas his sinful years where the first 22 years the remaining 35 years where all in the service of Hashem. Did his teshuva help entirely?

Next week is Shabbos Shuva when we conclude the story of Menashe and his redemption, let’s find out…

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S CHANGES MAN JOKES OF THE WEEK

  "Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said Yankel.

"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.

"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."

 A woman who lived next door to a preacher was puzzled by his personality change. At home he was shy, quiet and retiring, but in the church he was a real fire orator, rousing the masses in the name of God. It was as if he were two different people.

One day she asked him about the dramatic transformation that came over him when he preached.

“Ah,” he said, “That’s my altar ego.”

 A Berel and his wife Shaindel went shopping together just before the holidays. Shaindel quickly noticed that her husband was missing and because they had a lot to do she called him on his cell phone.

After Berel picked up the phone his wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do!"

He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheeks and she got all choked up and said "Yes, I do remember that shop!!!" she replied.

"Well I am in the ice cream shop next door to that.

 My Husband died. After He died, I couldn't even look at another Man for almost 20 years. But now that I'm out of Prison, I can honestly say it was worth it

 

 Yanky and Esti were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asked the wife.

"It's on sale. Only $10 for a case," he replies.

"We can't afford it. Put it back," Esti demands. They continue shopping and a few minutes later the wife puts a $20 jar of face cream into the cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

"So does the Budweiser and it's half the price," retorts Yanky.

 

"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband.

"I think there's water in the carburetor."

"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburetor is."

"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I 'm sure there's water in the carburetor."

"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"

"In the swimming pool."

 

Abe steps out of his building to hail a taxi and immediately finds one. As he gets in, the cabbie says, “Perfect timing, just like Saul.”

“Who's Saul?” asks the passenger.

“Saul Gold, of course,” says the cabbie. “Now there was someone who got what he wanted — like a taxi just when he needed it. Not like me; I always have to wait ages when I nee something.”

“Nobody’s perfect," says the passenger.

“Except Saul,” says the cabbie. “Saul was a great athlete and could have played in the NFL. Not like me – I'm just a couch potato. Saul danced like Astaire. Not like me. I've got two left feet.”

“Sounds like Saul was really someone special.”

“You can say that again,” says the cabbie. “He even remembered everyone’s birthday. Not like me. I always forget important birthdays and anniversaries. And Saul could fix anything in the house. Not like me. If I change a fuse, the whole neighborhood has a power failure. And Saul knew how to treat  his wife. He could always make her feel good and never answered her back even if she was in the wrong. He always complimented her on dinner. Not like me. I'm always getting into arguments with my wife.”

“What an amazing person. How did you meet him?” asks the passenger.

“Well, I never actually met Saul,” replies the cabbie.

“Then how do you know so much about him?” asks the passenger.

“I married his widow,” replies the cabbie.

 

Dudu received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a swear word; those that weren't were very rude. Dudu tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite things and playing soft music  anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He tried yelling at the bird, but the bird got worse. When he shook the bird, it got madder and ruder.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, Dudu put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.

Frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, Dudu quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior."

Dudu was astounded at the bird's change in attitude. Before he could ask what changed him, the parrot said, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

 

Bernie says marriage is not a word, it's a sentence, a life sentence.

Sadie says marriage is a three-ring circus, engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

Bernie and Sadie say that married life is full of excitement and frustration,

•           In the first year of marriage the man speaks and the woman listens

•           In the second year  the woman speaks and the man listens

•           In the third year   they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Sadie says that getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends,  you order what you want but when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

Bernie says a happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking,

    the husband gives and the wife takes.

Son:         How much does it cost to get married, Dad?

Father:     I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

 

Son:         Is it true in ancient China a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Father:    That's true everywhere, son.

Sadie says love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

Bernie says that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it’s love, but after marriage, it’s self-defence.

Bernie told Sadie during their courtship that he would go through hell for her,

    they got married and now he IS going through hell.

Confucius, he say, “man who sinks into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink.”

 

Bernie and Sadie say marriage is when man and a woman become one, the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Bernie says before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves, after the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

Bernie says it's not true that married men live longer than single men,  it only seems longer.

Bernie says man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

Sadie says it doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

Bernie inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

Sadie says when a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing,

    either the car is new or the wife is.

Benjamin and Sarah, who were both in their 80’s, invited their grandson Morris to dinner one evening. Morris was impressed by the way Benjamin preceded every request to Sarah with endearing terms - Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Sugar Plum, etc. The couple had been married over 50 years and clearly they were still very much in love. While Sarah was in the kitchen, Morris said to Benjamin, "Grandpa. I think it's wonderful that after all these years you still call grandma those loving pet names."

Benjamin hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth, Benjy," he said, "I forgot her name about 10 years ago."

 

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 The answer to this week”s question is C- I’m really not enjoying this exam. Another week, another 50/50 score on a question. I better get my act together. The Part of Carbon dating was easy. I got that right. Pre-history which is generally dependent on kefira and a universe of tens of thousands of years old, I guessed that it was the Iron age and was wrong, the real answer was ksav- writing. Which actually makes sense as even according to Chazal writing was one of the things created in the ^ days of Creation when “history” and time begins. So I got this half right and wrong and the score therefore is  Rabbi Schwartz 15 and Ministry of Tourism 9 on this exam so far.