Galus Grapes- Parshat Vayikra 2025 5785

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

April 4^th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 23 6^th of Nissan 5785

Parshat Vayikra

 Galus Grapes

(Don’t miss special Pesach book offer below…)

 

I’ve never really been a fruit person. I like meat, potatoes, pizza, pasta, BBQ’s and of course chulent. But those grapes really looked good. I haven’t seen grapes here in Israel for a while. This is a country of seasonal fruit generally. There’s watermelon season, citrus season and grape season. So on that nice hot day visiting my parents in Boca last week, or what my father likes to call the “other Jerusalem”, when I saw that bowl of grapes I dived right in and had quite a few clusters- about all my little stomach could handle. They were good. They were sweet. I enjoyed. And as whenever I eat a really good, tasty, thing, my natural reaction is to want to bentch and thank Hashem for giving me this delicious gift. And that’s when it changed… When I realized that they really weren’t that good. When I made the strangest bracha I’ve ever made before after eating.

 See, the after-blessing for grapes is not the usual short Borei Nefashos three-second “thanks-for-the grub or quick-snack” blessing we usually make on all non-grain products and on all other fruits and veggies. For any of the seven species of Eretz Yisrael (can you name them?) of which of course grapes are one of them, we make the “Al Ha’eitz” after-blessing. This is an abridged version of the regular bentching that we make after eating bread that is almost the same as we make after we eat cakes, cookies and other grain based-non bread products. Except that instead of Al Ha’Michiya we say Al Ha’Eitz. As well, as it doesn’t have a fun tune to sing it to.

 Yet unlike Al Ha’michiya the bracha changes on the types of grapes that you eat. See, when the grapes are from Florida, Argentina, France or pretty much any other place in the world that is tamey, that is unholy, that isn’t directly planted and grown with the blessing of Hashem, then a generic “thank you Hashem for the fruits” is said as well as thanking Hashem of course for Eretz Yisrael. But when you merit to actually eat, taste and be satisfied from the holy grapes and seven species of Israel that Hashem Himself pretty much takes care of and waters, then the blessing changes. We say Al ha’eitz vi’al peiroseha- on the land and on its fruits. We thank Hashem for the holiest and greatest grapes on the entire planet earth. Grapes that come from a land that Hashem watches day and night. From a place that is our homestead promised thousands of years ago to our Patriarchs, to our ancestors. It’s a whole different blessing. It’s a whole different grape.

 I made the blessing, as I usually make most blessings, on cruise control, without really thinking much about it. I kind of just push a button on my belly button and it just blurts out of my mouth. I bet you never knew that was the function of the belly button. Yet that morning, in Boca, as I made the blessing, I caught myself, as I at first just said the standard blessing for Israeli fruits that I’m used to making. It then hit me, hey, these are not Israeli grapes. They’re American. The blessing is just al pri ha’eitz. It’s not peiroseha- It’s not the fruits of Hashem. They’re not holy fruits. I just ate galus grapes that my ancestors of 2000 years of exile ate while they dreamed of tasting the sweet nectar of Eretz Yisrael’s holy fruits. While they prayed and davened to one day merit to be able to say V’al peiroseha…

If I ever needed a better segue to prepare for Pesach and for a topic to write about that would connect me to this parsha and for what god-willing be the last year that Jews around the world eat sour galus grapes, I can’t think of anything better than actually getting on a plane on Rosh Chodesh Nissan and leaving America and coming home. See, parshas Vayikra, the beginning of the new book of the Torah, picks up after last week’s cliffhanger conclusion. I don’t know if you noticed it or not. But before we get to that, let’s just recap our timeline. A little prep before Pesach is a Shabbos Ha’Gadol custom.

 We were in Mitzrayim for about 210 years. The last year there we have Moshe, the plagues and redemption.  Our coming out of slavery is pretty much over. After plague number nine of darkness, Pharoah is ready to cut a deal. He’ll let out all the hostages. The entire million or so of us. We don’t even have to give him any terrorists in exchange. He’ll even let us take the animals we need for sacrifices. He just wants to hold on to the rest of the animals. He doesn’t want to give us reparations. We have to leave with only our belongings. What say you? Should we take the deal and get our hostage nation or not?

Well 4/5^th of Klal Yisrael seemed to think that Moshe had lost his mind and they weren’t ready to follow him out and they died there. That stinks for them. Most of the remaining Jews- like I’m sure you faithful readers of mine, would’ve told Pharoah that he should go to Azazel, like Moshe did. We’re not cutting any deals. We’re taking everything you have and more. We don’t make deals with terrorists. Hashem already shut off their electricity. He destroyed their food supply and blew up their banks. We knew we could count on Him to finish the job. We had the power, because He has the power and He’s on our team. So the plague of first-borns came and all their top guys were beepered at midnight by Hashem Himself. Cool!

 Meantime we brought our Pesach offering there in Egypt and celebrated being redeemed. This is even though fascinatingly enough, we really weren’t. We were still there. Pharaoh still had a big army of Chamas guys and Iranian nuclear weapons he could use on us. And a whole world of antisemites that would take his side and condemn us and probably join him in a fight against us. As Amalek did shortly afterwards. The next day we left. We took everything. We had some more miracles by the Sea. And the gameplan now was that within 101 days we were meant to be in Israel at the Bais Hamikdash. When they sang L’shana ha’ba’ah bi’yerushalayim at the end of that Pesach Seder in Egypt, we really were probably closer than we ever were to that actually happening. We had 49 days until Har Sinai. We got the Torah. Moshe was supposed to go up for another 40 days and bring it down to us and from there it was an 11day journey to the Holy Land. The month of Av would’ve celebrated our coming home and being finally redeemed. And by the next Pesach we would’ve been eating roasted lamb on the Temple Mount.

But it didn’t happen. We messed up with the Golden Calf and things got delayed. Our schedule and arrival time was pushed off for a few months. But hey, at least Hashem forgave us. On Sukkos He even returned the Clouds of Glory to us. We had to build a Mishkan and thus the next Rosh Chodesh Nissan when it was dedicated, found us in the wilderness still. Again, only 11 days away from Israel, but we had to once again bring that Pesach offering in galus still. This time though when we sang L’shana ha’ba’ah at the end of the Seder we were sure that it was going to happen. I mean how couldn’t it?

 It is on that note that the book of Shemos ends off. The Mishkan is built. The clouds of glory descend. Yet there’s one catch that leaves us at a cliffhanger. Moshe can’t enter. The doors are closed. The book which ends off from there talking about all our future travels sounds almost like ominous background music in a bad horror movie as if we wouldn’t be entering. As if we would be stuck wandering, traveling with pillars of fire and clouds… Chazak Chazak Vi’Nischazek End book of Shemos. Book of Redemption…Or not? I guess we’ll have to wait for the Part III of the trilogy to find out…

 And it’s at that point that I was sitting myself in Boca. In Galus. In Lakewood. In Passaic and Cleveland. And wondering the same thing. I saw lots of clouds of glory in those cities. Shuls. Batei Midrash. I saw the glory of Hashem and the Torah that was being studied there. But I knew that I could never bring a Korban Pesach there. I couldn’t even make the right blessing on the grapes that I ate. The one that my soul longed to make.

 But I flew back and it’s Parshat Va’Yikra. Hashem called to Moshe. Come in. Come home. Bring Me sacrifices. You can enter. I’ll bring you in. The Redemption is really really going to happen. Let the final 11-day journey home begin and learn and teach all of these sacrifice laws really quick because you really are almost there. The truth is if we would’ve left right away on that Rosh Chodesh Nissan right after the Mishkan being built we could’ve even technically been in Eretz Yisrael by Pesach time that second year. So why, takeh, didn’t Hashem bring us in then? Why did He want us to celebrate that first Pesach in the Midbar? (And to be yeshivish, you can’t say it was because He didn’t want to rush us in there to make it and there wouldn’t be enough time, because in the end we actually came in on the 10^th of Nissan 39 years later and had to put the whole thing together in 5 days, and we managed just fine…).  But regardless certainly we felt that by Shavuos we would for sure be home. Except once again it didn’t happen…

 Tisha B’av the spies came back, and the game was over. It wasn’t just the game though. It was everyone that was there would never see the day. Would never experience the redemption. Would never make an al peiroseha on the fruits they scorned and cried about. They would never bring a korban Pesach in Jerusalem. This was worse than the Golden Calf. According to the Maharal of Prague, this is why we still aren’t redeemed until today.

 It’s interesting if you think about it. For 39 years in the wilderness the Jewish people didn’t bring a Korban Pesach. The Talmud notes that they didn’t bring it because they weren’t circumcised as it was too dangerous, and they never knew when and where they would have to pick up and leave. Rashi though fascinatingly enough explains that the reason why they didn’t bring it is because the mitzva of korban Pesach is dependent upon them coming to the land.

 Shemos (12:25) And it will be when you will come to the land that Hashem has given you, as He has spoken, and you shall observe this service.

 Rashi notes that the korban Pesach is dependent upon them coming to the land and that’s why they didn’t bring it all those years.  It’s strange if you think about this. What does Pesach have to do with coming to Israel. Isn’t it just about leaving Egypt? Taking us out of slavery. Frogs, and sea splits and matzah, marror and macaroons? We sit in a Sukka outside of Israel, we light Chanukah candles, we shake a lulav. And the first two Pesach offerings we brought weren’t in Israel either. Yet, Rashi teaches us that Korban Pesach is different. For the true Pesach to be realized we need to have been brought to Israel.

 I’m gonna throw one more question in here, as it’s Pesach time and I know you’re looking for good ones. Here’s one I bet you never thought of. Then I’ll get back to that Maharal that I name-dropped a minute ago. Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about it.  Here’s the question.  We know that we drink four cups of wine by our Pesach Seder that correspond to the 4 terminologies of redemption that Hashem told us; the four lashonos of geula. Yet as we as well know, it wasn’t just “v’hotzeisi”, “vi’hitzalti”, “v’go’alti”, “vi’lakachti”- that Hashem will take us out, save us, redeem us and take us as His nation, but there is a fifth term as well. Vi’Heiveisi- And He will bring us to our land. That cup we don’t have. We don’t drink.

  It’s strange. One can argue perhaps that the reason is maybe because we’re still in galus. We’re not in the land and don’t have the Bais Ha’Mikdash yet. Yet if that’s the case then to be honest we haven’t been redeemed today either. That perhaps in times when we are getting killed, like the Holocaust and are not being “saved” by Hashem maybe we shouldn’t drink the other cups as well. But we do. So why not that one as well. On the flip side we can also ask what about the nation that came after 39 years into Israel. That Hashem brought them in. Did they drink five cups? During the entire first Temple were there five cups by the Seder? How about the second Temple? How about us today that merit to live in Eretz Yisrael? And if there wasn’t then and now, and I don’t believe there was or seems to be any source for it, then why not? Good question…no?

 So here’s where the Maharal comes into play. The Ma’Haral explains that our being brought out of Mitzrayim was meant to be one act directly connected to the being brought into coming to the land of Israel. We were meant to experience an exodus from Egypt and then directly an entrance to the land of Israel. It was supposed to be five cups. One act. It’s what we sang at the splitting of the sea that ends with the coming to Eretz Yisrael and building of the Bais Ha’Mikdash. If that’s what would’ve happened then our coming to Eretz Yisrael would have been an eternal coming that we never would’ve lost or been exiled from. Just as our exodus from Egypt was and is. Each Seder, we leave Egypt. Each generation every Jew can leave his own Egypt. Can break free of all restraints. In a similar vein, our coming to Eretz Yisrael would’ve been just as eternal. It would’ve been unbreakable. It was meant to be one act.

 Yet we messed up. We cried. We broke the chain. Tisha B’av always falls out on the same day of the week as the Seder night. It’s why some have a custom to eat an egg of mourning after Magid, before we eat our meal. Because the two are intricately connected. If not for that first Tisha B’Av we would’ve been in Israel forever. In the words of the Maharal (Netzach Yisrael chapter 8)

 “The generation that Hashem took out of Egypt would’ve been the same that He brought to Israel and it would’ve been an eternal experience without any breaks”.

My Rebbe explained this with an understanding from the laws of Shabbos; the first one mentioned in the Talmud in that tractate. The rule is that for one to complete one action of “carrying”, there needs to be an akira and a hanacha- one has to pick something up from one reshus/domain and place it down in another. If there is one without the other, it’s not a complete act. Mitzrayim is a reshus ha’yachid. It’s a domain where Hashem is not present. It’s meitzarim. It’s constrained. Eretz Yisrael is reshus ha’rabim-. It’s a land without boundaries. Its light shines out to the world. We were meant to be the generation that left those constraints and were brought to a world that would be eternal. It was meant to be one act. It was supposed to be eternal.

 But the Golden Calf delayed it and thus we needed to have a second Pesach offering in the wilderness so we can again have an experience of leaving and them being brought in immediately. It’s why we didn’t go into Eretz Yisrael right after the Mishkan was built on Rosh Chodesh, but rather waited until after the Pesach Sheni was brought, so every Jew could have that akira from galus experience before being brought into the land.

 But then the spies happened, and it was over. We cried. We didn’t have faith. We lacked the strength of conviction that Hashem who took us out will bring us in. And thus we failed. We only have four cups that are eternal. The fifth cup v’heiveisi- of coming to the land, even when realized was not the same generation that left. It will never be five cups, even when we ultimately came. It was four for the first generation that are eternal and one, the fifth cup, for a generation that never had the first four. Therefore the fifth was not eternal. Our nation that left Egypt had an “akira” without a “hanacha”. We eternally have the ability to always pick ourselves up and leave our constraints. Hashem will never abandon us in every generation. We can experience and we do relive that and can always find Hashem and see His redemptive arm in the darkest of times and tunnels. But we have never been able to come home eternally. We have never had that hanacha.

 At the other end of that as well, we have generations like today that have experienced a “hanacha”. They’ve returned and settled in the land. But that hanacha never had an akira. They didn’t experience the miracles. They don’t see the hand of Hashem that took us out. It’s not one act. And therefore, they’ll cut deals. They worry about what the world will say. About the Pharaohs. It’s a generation that thinks we need other nations help and support. A nation that came into Israel and couldn’t finish the job of wiping out the 7 nations that Hashem told us we needed to. Because that generation didn’t witness the miracles first-hand of yetzias Mitzrayim. They were in Israel, but they were still eating the sour grapes of galus. They had built their Mishkans in the wilderness and saw the clouds of glory, but they didn’t hear the Vayikra- the call of Hashem to Moshe to come in and bring sacrifices in Yerushalayim.

 We have a week until Pesach. Could you imagine what would happen in heaven if every Jew in the world decided that they wanted spend this Pesach in Israel. If there was a “Kol Koreh” that came out from the Moetzet Gedolei Ha’Torah and great Rabbis from around the world, that it’s enough with voting or not voting for Zionist or anti-Zionist organizations from the Diaspora to try to influence funds here in Israel, while still eating galus grapes. That’s silly galus stuff. Rather it’s time to vote with our feet and on planes by actually coming here. That there was no more “Adopt- a- Kollel- in-Israel” organization, but rather that all Kollels picked up and moved to Israel. That understood that the power of the Torah learning for the sake of our country is a thousand-fold if that Torah is studied in the land that Hashem wants us to live in and where His light can be revealed from.

 Remember that Shabbat-across-the-world program that got everyone to keep one Shabbos? Religious, non-religious, old, young, Jews across the entire world all keeping a Shabbos. Shouldn’t the next big thing be a Pesach in Israel from around the world program? That all of Klal Yisrael decides that this Yom Tov we’re all going to be together in our country. In Yerushalayim. Can you imagine it? Would you join it? Or are you still in the book of Shemos with the Mishkan built and the four cups of Pesach, but can’t go in, because you didn’t hear the Vayikra yet? The call of Hashem screaming for His Korban Pesach of v’heiveisi.

 It’s not hard to get on a plane and come here. I did it last week. There’s no place like home. My first stop was to the makolet to buy grapes. My luck, it’s not yet grape season and they were imported from South Africa of all places. I guess I’ve still got to eat galus grapes as well. The season begins after Pesach- the eis bikurei ha’anavim is when the spies went out. They didn’t appreciate the grapes of Eretz Yisrael then, hopefully 3000 years of galus has finally brought us to the day when all of us can correct that sin, that mistake, that hesitation and break in our redemption. And then the song we will sing will be ba’shana ha’zeh anu kvar bi’yerushalayim!

Have an amazingly redemptive Shabbos!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" Fun fartrikenteh baimer kumen kain paires nit arois..”- Fruit doesn’t grow from withered trees

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

14. The mountain-back road in Judea and Samaria is also called ______

What is the name of the route separating the Carmel from Ramot Menashe?

A. Stella Maris

B. Wadi Milek Route

C. Wadi Ara Route

D. Northern Highway

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAmTMT0c4v0    – Six 13- the first Pesach Acapella of the season… PSVR… I don’t get it…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u6CBPzvBGI  - Moshe Tishler’s latest song Nes…

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vehi-shemada  -  I had this beautiful amazing composition arranged last year by Dovid Lowy… learn it for your Pesach Seder, it’s truly glorious… My Vehi She’amda

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_MUGHZ-w7I   – V’vheiveisi by Yitz Waldner.. this can be a Pesach hit maybe… or not..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD4X0LSH6II – My choice of the week is this great video of the classic Adir Hu! Avi Ganz rocks this one…

  

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Tzidkiyah- who?- 598 BC – With the exile of Yehoyachin, we have finally arrived at the final king of Israel before the destruction of the Bais HaMikdash; Tzidkiyahu Ha’Melech. Now although we know him as Tzidkiyahu, it seems that name was given to him by none other than Nevuchadnezzar who appointed him to be king after taking Yehoyachin into exile and locking him up in jail for his rebellion.

 

Who was Tzidkiyahu in fact? Well it’s not clear from the verses and there might even be contradictions. The simple pshat accepted by Rashi and most is that he certainly was the uncle of Yehoyachin’s and brother of his father Yehoyachaz’s son of  Yoshiyahu. Which brother though seems not be clear. The Gemara brings opinion that he was an older brother named as Shalum. Other suggest based on the verse that Shalum was younger brother. To make it even more confusing there are others that suggest that Shalum was really Yehoyachaz- the father of Yehoyachin, and Tzedkayahu was another brother named as Matanya. Maybe that’s why they called him Tzidkiya-who??? (sorry couldn’t resist…) Are you confused yet? I am… But welcome to the times before the end of the first Temple. They were confusing…

 

Now what makes this time even more confusing is that Yehoyachin was still alive and in Bavel and Tzikiyahu who was appointed king by Nevuchadnezzar was really never appointed by the people, many of who supported Yehoyachin. Tzidkiyahu was only 21 upon becoming King and thus there were those that felt that he was merely being a puppet king of Bavel. Can you imagine the accusations that went of Bavel-Gate and undo influences of foreign governments in the leadership of Israel. The truth is those accusations were correct, though. Nevuchadnezzar made Tzidkiyahu swear on a sefer Torah by Hashem that he would never rebel against him. Nevuchadnezzar recognized that any other oath would be meaningless.

 

The Gemara tells us that unlike Yehoyachin, Tzidkiyahu as his name insinuates was a righteous king; a tzadik. Yet his generation had fallen too far. This is the counter opposite of Yehoyachin’s generation before the exile of all of the sages and Torah scholars together with him, where the generation was righteous still but the king was wicked. Our sages derive from this that the power fo the Torah scholars can prevent the destruction despite their sinful leaders- and Yehoyachin as we discussed was really really bad. While at the same time, the righteousness of the leaders, like Tzidkiyahu does not have the power to protect it’s generation. This is one of the sources that is certainly utilized and become engrained in our nation’s psyche of the power of Torah to protect.

 

Yet despite Tzidkiyahu’s initial righteousness, as we will see his failure to heed the prophecies and warnings of Yirmiyahu and Yechezkel and listen to their political and spiritual guidance ultimately brought about his downfall…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE FRUIT JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Tell me a fruit joke... Mangoes in to a bar

 

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?"

 "I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"

 When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"

 "I don't know, sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."

 "Are you sure?" Al asked.

 "I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

 While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

 When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, we have no Chinese Jews but we have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever heard of Chinese Jews!"

 

In the grapevine school, a teacher asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

One grape said, “A raisin

Another shouted, “Juice!”

The shy grape in the back whispered, “I just want to be a little less ‘cluster-phobic.'”

 

Why did the grape stop going out? It was tired of being “picked” on!

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of “juice”!

What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little “wine.”

Why did the grape refuse to fight? Because it didn’t want to get in a “jam.”

How does a grape enter a party? It “raisins” the roof!

 

So I’m standing here waiting for fruit juice when my buddy asks where we are.

I told him we’re in the punchline.

 

What kind of cancer does fruit get? Melon-oma

 

Have you read the nutritional information on a box of Fruit Loops? You're better off eating the toucan.

 

A vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting. I said people who sell fruit

and vegetables are grocer.

 

I firmly disagree with putting fruit in cake. There's just no good raisin for it

 

Why does fruit dislike being preserved? The process is jarring.

 

 Ana is no longer allowed to the fruit market. Banana.

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The answer to this week”s question is B- Got this one right as well! Highway 60 which runs all the way from Beer Sheva up the middle of the country through Chevron Jerusalem, Shilo up to Shechem ending by Nazareth in the Galil is known as the Derech Avot! Its right on the top of the middle mountain range of Eret Yisrael and it’s the path that our Patriarchs would travel going North and South. As well, living up in theNorth and traveling along Highway 70 which runs along Carmel up to the 85 near Karmiel I remember that it was called Wadi Milek- which I remember has nothing to do with the Milky way, but rather has to do with Melach as in Salt in Hebrew, as they would transport salt from the coastline along this road… So I got this one right and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz 9.5 Ministry of Tourism 4.5 on this exam so far. Oy….

 

A Day in the Life- Parshat Pikudey Hachodesh 2025 5785

 Insights and Inspiration 

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

March 28^th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 22 28^th of Adar 5785

 

Parshat Pikudey / Ha’Chodesh

 A Day in the Life

Back in my previous Tour Guide life before October 7^th I very rarely would give my clients an itinerary of what we would do. I always felt that an itinerary was the enemy of a good day. I wanted to meet them first, get a better feel for what’s best for them. I didn’t want to be locked into anything in case, as usually would happen, the schedule changed. We were late, we got stuck in traffic. I didn’t want them to feel they missed out on something. I wanted them to enjoy every part of the day-which kids never do if they know that there’s something exciting at the end of the day. I liked to keep that surprise element about what’s coming next open. So there was no itinerary on a Rabbi Schwartz day. If you came with me on a tour you had to do so on faith. Trust me, or at least your friend that recommended you take me on a tour. And Baruch Hashem, I don’t think I’ve ever disappointed.

 

Well, guess what? Now the tables have turned on me. Welcome to my new life. I’m a “war guide” now. My clients are no longer tourists or even “war”ists. My clients- as I tell the good people from America, who call me daily for these “Chizuk missions” that I now do-are the people whom we visit, we strengthen, we help, we comfort and whom we donate to. They are the focus of my daily trips. They are the ones that I care about and are there to service. The widows, the orphans, the soldiers, the farmers, the families of hostages, the wounded, the hurting and the bereft. Everyone else with me in the minibus or car are just coming along for the ride. They’re just carrying the luggage. The luggage filled with all of the heart, tears, love and money that we are delivering. My real clients are our brothers and sisters in pain that we will be visiting.

 

The problem though is that Hashem has a funny way of also not planning itineraries for me. He has His own ideas about where I’m should be going and He doesn’t like to share them with me either. It’s payback time for all the clients I had in the past, that I made go through that trial of faith before starting a tour with me. He’s not telling me, just as I never would tell them. Mida k’neged mida- Tit for tat. But just like a Rabbi Schwartz tour. I’ve learned in this daily process He’s been putting me through, He never disappoints me with a less than spectacular miraculous day.  

 

Every tour, every day, it’s another adventure. You’ve read some of them already in these weekly missives that I somehow try to pass off as a Dvar Torah- so you don’t feel too guilty reading it in shul in the middle of the Rabbis speech or kabbalat Shabbat. But this past Rosh Chodesh Adar Hashem was feeling exceedingly joyous He decided to have some real fun with me as He rachets up His “surprise-here’s-where-you’re-going-next” factor.

 

I woke up Monday morning with a day that I had “somewhat” planned- which is pretty much all I ever feel I could do. I had a basic outline and schedule which included picking up my clients at 9:30 AM from the Waldorf, heading over to the hospital to visit some soldiers at 10, I was going to visit a hostage family at some point in late morning and take their son to a carnival for evacuated children that I was hoping my clients would be inspired to help sponsor after meeting him. As well in the evening I had made up to bring pizza to soldiers for Rosh Chodesh  and sing and dance with them a bit and be home back in Jerusalem about 8 or so. Sounds like an amazing day right? I thought it did and was quite proud of myself for putting all those little pieces together to make it happen. Things had clicked. Hashem had gotten me all the right appointments I needed. The timing seemed great. Little did I know that He was just playing with me. He was having some pre-Purim Rosh Chodesh Adar fun with His Yeled Sha’ashuim- Ephraim Schwartz- His personal little play-toy.

 

I woke up that morning to go to davening to the sight of an empty parking spot where the mechanic who had taken my car a week ago and had promised me that I would see my car in the morning, as he would leave it there for me. Well, the car wasn’t there. I called him up frantically and listened to his Israeli excuses about why my car wasn’t there. The truth is I really didn’t listen. It was irrelevant. I needed my car. I had tourists to pick up. What was I supposed to do? He did the Israeli “ahh jahst tek ah Ohto-buuuz to mai houzzz in Givat Zev”. I wasn’t taking a bus in the morning in traffic. I didn’t have time for that. And that’s how I knew that my day was already going to be different. Here we go again.

 

I walked out of the BNB that I stay by to try to get a cab and lo and behold one just pulled up just as I exited. Ok… that’s nice and convenient. The cab driver asked if I had ordered him, I told him I didn’t, to which he responded that he really wasn’t working then. He had just come to have coffee with his mother up the block. I begged him to give me a ride to Givat Zeev to get my car. It was strange that he wasn’t jumping at the fare, but I just wrote it off to typical “I’m -doing-you-a-favor-by-taking-you” Israeli version of customer service and gratefully got into his cab.

 

 I was wrong though. Because as we started to schmooze, he told me that he really doesn’t work that much anymore at all. He pretty much stays at home most of the time. You see his son was murdered at the festival. Not only was his 24-year-old son Amit killed, but his son’s fiancé Nurell and her sister Roya were killed there together with him. I slowly started to understand why my car wasn’t where it was supposed to be parked this morning. Hashem had other plans for me today.

 

While we drove to Givat Zeev where he lived, his wife Orly who pretty much hasn’t left the house in 5 months called. She didn’t sound in good shape at all. He told me she hasn’t slept more than an hour or two straight a night in the past few months As well his 22-year-old son Omer called in. He had a dream last night that his brother came to him and he told him that everything would be b’seder. I didn’t know that I was the b’seder Hashem had sent. But now I did. I told Yossi, that I would be over later that night with my group of chizuk givers and thus my crazy day on Hashem’s plan commenced.

 

After that I jumped in my car and quickly davened at Belz down the block I rushed backed to the Waldorf. I had to pick up my people to go to my appointment in the hospital with the soldiers. At least I thought I did. It seems I was wrong though. See, because about 15 minutes away my hospital contact called me to tell me that they were running late. I would need to push off my visit for an hour. Hashem was generous and gave me 15 minutes to pull this off, and so I quickly called my friends in Chabad of Katamon where they make about 3000 sandwiches a day for children of refugees and reservist wives who have enough on their plate- excuse the pun and asked if they needed a hand or two for about an hour to help, which of “course” – another pun there, they did. Good. Baruch Hashem! Making sandwiches this morning just became part of our itinerary, I told my tourists as they got in…

 

 As we were wrapping up the sandwiches- these terrible puns keep coming- quite literally. They called again from the hospital to tell me that I had another hour to fill as the soldiers we were meant to meet were not yet out of therapy. Hashem is really playing with me here… I quickly made a phone call and whadaya know? My good friend at Eretz Chemda was relieved to hear my voice, as he just got 20,000 pairs of tzitzis just dropped off by the army for soldiers that needed whatever hands and time I could spare to help make. So now we’ve got tzitzis making on Hashem’s itinerary. OK… I’m flowing with this…

 

Finally, we finish the tzitzis and are making our way to the hospital. The visits with the soldiers was incredible . The soldier’s stories were one after another mind-blowing. What they’ve done. Their passion. Their faith. Their sacrifice. What they’ve lost and how much they want to keep doing and seeing this through until the end. By the third soldier however I realized that my plans were going to have to change again.

 

See one of the couples that was supposed to come with me and help sponsor the carnival I had planned to join had to cancel and didn’t come along that morning. The one woman, Ilana, who did come was my only potential sponsor left and I really wanted to take her to this hostage family. They really needed to meet her, and she really needed to meet them. They needed her special neshoma and chizuk that she could give. But she had told me in the morning that she needed to be back at her hotel at 2:00 PM, as she hadn’t really spent time with the grandchildren she had come to visit. Well now, because of all of the delays it was not going to happen. It was already 1:15 and I wasn’t going to be able to make it to their house and have a meaningful visit and get here back on time.

 

All of this is racing through my brain as we’re meeting our last soldier and he’s telling us about how he was injured when the building he was “clearing” in Khan Yunis had been blown up by an RPG. As he’s talking and I’m already giving up hope and planning in my mind to just take her back to the hotel and go with the other family to visit the hostage family and figure out how to pay for this carnival, the soldier says something that catches my ears. He tells us how not only was he wounded in Gaza, but in fact he was at the Nova festival as well on October 7^th and he was rescued heroically under fire, by a security guard that was incredible and was good friends with his other friends there.

 

Would you believe it? The guard that helped his friends and him was none other than Rom Breslavsky the hostage in Gaza whose mother we were on the way to meet, She really didn’t have too much information about her son from and since that morning when he was taken. She didn’t know what a gibor he is. I videoed his story for his mother and Ilana with tears in her eyes turned to me and told me that she is obviously going to come with me to the hostage family so she could be there to give it to her personally. Hashem had His plan and tour and she was on board!

 

So we headed out to their house blown away that out of all of the soldiers in the world, Hashem found the one that he wanted us to meet to bring this video to his mother. He even rearranged our schedule a bit so that we would have the perfect timing to meet him. When we arrived, it was perfect timing as well. Sivan, Rom’s aunt had just gotten there with the younger brother Ziv. And yet much to my surprise Ziv decided that he wasn’t interested in my carnival, and he ran off to the mall with some friends. Oh well, no carnival now…

 

The truth is I didn’t really have a sponsor anyways at this time, but now once again I had to make new plans. While Ilana and the other family were talking to Rom’s mother who was really emotional about the video and their meeting, I was on the phone trying to figure out where I was going next. Baruch Hashem my farmer Shachar said that he would be able to meet with me as he had lots of lettuce and greens that he needed help harvesting. So I thought at least I was good to fill up my former carnival slot until our soldier pizza delivery. Perfect! Thank You Hashem! But I was wrong. Hashem still had fun in His bag to play with me. This was just another part of His game.

 

We left the Breslavsky family after our emotional visit. Ilana and the family exchanged numbers and promised to be in touch-which is really the most important part of our visits. These families need constant chizuk and the meetings we have are really for my good people from America to adopt the people that we meet and to be their lifelines. About 20 minutes from Beit Shemesh though on the way to the farm, Shachar my farmer called me to tell me that he had to apologize but he got called out and wasn’t going to be able to meet with us. I turned my eyes to heaven at that point and just smiled. Hashem is really in an Adar mood. v’nahapoch hu meant that he was going to turn around my whole day.

 

Desperate once again for something to do I made a quick call to my friend from the Beef Jerky boys in Beit Shemesh and asked if we could come on over and help him out prepare and package some good cow for our chayalim, so they have some basar in the belly when they wipe out Amalek. It’s hard to really get into the spirit with tuna fish from their army rations. He was a little hesitant as he had another group there at the present, but once they left, we would be fine. So we could come over and hope for the best. I was beyond hope. I had faith. Hashem was driving our day and He’s usually on target and doesn’t waste any of my time. And I was right.

 

Just as we pulled up, the other group packed out (actually I had the wrong address and by the time we got to the right address the other group was literally just walking out!).We had a blast slicing and preparing the beef Jerky knowing the soldiers would be getting the necessary protein they needed that evening thanks to us and then we popped out to daven Mincha with the boys. When we came back though Chani, the mom on our group told us that she now understood why we had to come to the Beef Jerky instead of the farming. For she had been given a new job while we were davening which was to put stickers on each bag that they had just printed up. The stickers had the names of hostages that one could daven for and have in mind when they made their blessings. The stickers that we were putting on today?  None other than Rom ben Tamar’s! Hashem had sent us there so I can send Tamar a video of them so that she would know that even though Ephraim Schwartz and his friends may have left their house. But Hashem had not forgotten about them or Rom. He was still with them. She still could have faith and chizuk.

 

From there it was off to pick up the pizza for soldiers and bring them some Adar cheer. It was fun, amazing as it always is. You can’t imagine what a few slices of pizza and the knowledge that appreciative Americans flew across the ocean to bring them can do to build our army’s morale. Finally our incredible day on Hashem’s itinerary concluded going over to Yossi my taxi driver from the mornings house where we hugged, cried, comforted and sang with him,  Orly and their son Omer over the loss of Amit.

 

Yossi told me as I was leaving that after that cab ride in the morning (which felt like a year ago) he spoke to Amit’s fiancée’s grieving father, Menashe, who had lost his two daughters and they both decided that this was a sign from heaven that they needed to do something more for the neshomos of their children. They had already put out a Tehillim, birkat Ha’Mazaon and even a Tikun klali, yet today they decided they were going to do the ultimate memorial. They were going to try to raise money for a Sefer Torah for their massacred children. We were the first to contribute to this new campaign, that Hashem had decided was an important part of His plan. And thus our day came to an end. The story and book is over. Welcome to my life.

 

On that note this week’s parsha is also the conclusion of a Book; the book of galus and geula- exile and redemption, as the Ramban calls it, the book of Shemot. Our book started off with us going down to Egypt. With names. Each Jew, each family. We are each special. We are stars that Hashem counts. The book concludes however with the final verse that tells us that Hashem is with us in all of our travels. He is there l’einei kol beis Yisrael b’kol ma’aseihem- the cloud and the fire of Hashem is there day and night wherever we go. It’s a strange verse and ending. Parshat Ma’asei which enumerates our travels doesn’t come until the end of Bamidbar. At this point in time historically we were a few days away from Israel. What travels? Where were we going? Why is this the end of the book of redemption? We’re still in Galus. We haven’t come home yet.

 

The answer is because the function of redemption, the purpose of the Creation, is when we realize and experience that Hashem is with us in all our travels. Hashem doesn’t need a home down here. It’s quite nice up in heaven. He created this world so that He could be with us. So that He could live with us. So that He could hold our hands on every trip, on every journey, in the darkness of night and in fire and in the morning in the light. The Mishkan isn’t and never was about a building campaign. It was about the shechina residing in each and everyone of us… always.

 

Each and everyone of us, find out in this week’s final ‘closing credits parsha’, has every screw, every bolt, every pillar, every gold, silver and copper accounted for. There’s nothing left over. Each person’s donation is there. That’s what this week’s boring parsha is about. Nobody stays for the ending credits of a movie. Well, almost nobody stays. The mother whose child is the screenwriter, the 10-year-old boy whose father was the extra in that street scene. They’re waiting to see their names in lights. We each play in an important essential part of the parsha, in the Mishkan. We each have a contribution that is mentioned and accounted for.

 

The parsha tells us Hashem is walking with us every day. He’s journeying with each of us all the time. He’s got your sandwich for gan in the morning with Rabbi Schwartzes crew from America to make it, even though you might think Hashem abandoned you when He threw you out of your home or your father is fighting in Gaza. He has your tzitzis taken care of and made this morning even though you may have never worn a pair before, despite the fact that they don’t sell any in Khan Yunis where you’re serving.

 

He’s going to visit you in the hospital and the shechina is resting on top of your bed. He’ll even let you send a message to the family of the security guard who saved you and give them strength. It’s not a big deal for the Creator of the World. He’s right there with you. He’s actually Planned the entire day around you. That is redemption. That’s the book that we concluded. We are the credits that are scrolling down the screen. We are the names and Shemot that went down to exile and we are each the precious stones on the breastplate of the Kohen and the bolts and brackets of the home of Hashem. The movie is almost over. The last names are gone, the final sacrifices Hashem took from us that are sitting next to His holy throne of glory are waiting to accompany that shechina down here to its final eternal resting place. Chazak Chazak Vi’nitchazek!

Have a smashing Shabbos and a happy Rosh Chodesh Nissan.

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" A mayse uhn a moshl iz vi a moltsayt un a tsimes.”- A story without a moral is like a meal without a sweet dish.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

13. The name of the border crossing through which Palestinian Authority citizens cross into Jordan

is ______

Which of the following most accurately describes the regime under which the residents of the Gaza

Strip lived between 1950 and 1967?

A. Egyptian military rule and Palestinian civilian rule

B. Full Palestinian autonomous rule

C. Government by virtue of a mandate of the United Nations (UNRWA) under Egyptian

supervision

D. Full Egyptian military rule

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H8Newq1BMc   – Yaakov Shwekey’s latest moving song in memory of all of the fallen “Kaddish”. The video has the faces of the fallen as he wears a Talis with their names on it… may Hashem’s name become great as He avenges the blood of our fallen brothers and sisters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrVGFm2feMg -  one of my most favorite old classic Shabbos songs that not enough people know. Levi Falkowitz sings V’hareinu… What a song…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLlt17euqqw  -  Must watch video of the most mind-blowing responsa of Reb Chayim Kanievsky on living in Eretz Yisrael…. Only watch if you’re brave enough to listen to Daas Torah..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gja1y9y2G84 – Mi she’beirach for hostages by 613 Acapella

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-kINIg_tFI – Yehuda Green Birkat Ha’Chodesh in honor of the new month!

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Yehoyachin, The Exile of the Gatekeepers and Craftsman- 598 BC – With the death of Yehoyakim, his son Yehoyachin becomes King. Like his father, Yehoyachin as well is not a great fellow and continues the “contzeptzia” that Hashem would never destroy Israel and His home and thus we can do whatever we want to do. Yet, Nevuchadnezzar, like most of our enemies, know that when we’re not doing what we should be doing they have free reign to do what they want. Thus, three months into Yehoyachin’s kingship, Nevuchadnezzar comes back to Jerusalem and takes him into exile as well. But before doing that he cleans out the Temple of its vessels. Yehoyachin sees this happening and he chucks the keys up to heaven. Hashem’s got them now. He’s holding on to them until our day when He can give them back.

 

With the exile of Yehoyachin, begins the exile of the entire nation. The navi tells us that ten thousand people were exiled with him to Bavel. It was the craftsman and the gatekeepers exiles, which our sages tell us were all of the sages and Torah scholars. Together with this exile went the prophet Yechezkel, whom we will talk about, as well as Mordechai of the Purim story. This galus to a large degree as well even in its curse prepares the foundation of Klal Yisrael in Bavel. For just as our first exile Yaakov sent down Yehudah to prepare a place of Torah in Egypt for when the rest of the Jews get there, here as well Hashem sent down these great men to build the foundation for what will become the great yeshivos of Bavel that will last throughout the entire 2^nd Temple and of course even after that period.

 

The prophet Yirmiyahu however tells the exilees another message for what their job in galus is. He tells them that they should plan on staying in exile. They shouldn’t think that they will be returning right away. They need to understand that they Temple is decreed to be destroyed and they have to daven and pray and repent and beseech Hashem for Eretz Yisrael from there. They’re not being sent to galus for a vacation. They’re being sent there to remember and yearn for their home. To know that they are being punished. Perhaps if they would do that then they would be merit that Hashem would gather them in and bring them home. He would spare Yerushalayim. Yet, unfortunately they don’t do what they need to do. They forget and become disconnected from their brethren. And thus things begin to spiral down. With Yehoyachin gone and it’s scholars and light out of Yerushalayim, we arrive at the last king of Israel. Tzidkiyahu. The end is finally here.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE BEEF JERKY JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Sometime in the 1970s, on an absolutely freezing day, a shipment of meat arrives in a town in the Soviet Union. The townspeople, bundled to their eyeballs, line up outside the town store to wait to be given their rations. After about an hour, a man comes out of the store and announces,

 "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so the Jews have to leave." The Jews in the line leave grumbling.

 

About an hour later, the man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so anyone who is not a member of the Communist party will have to leave." More grumbling as the non-Party members depart.

 

Another hour goes by and the man comes out of the store again and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone in the line, so anyone who wasn't a member of the Party before 1956 has to leave." More grumbling as all the younger Party members leave. A few old people remain in the line.

 

Another hour goes by. It's now getting dark and it's cold. The same man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't any meat. Go home."

 

One old lady in the line turns to her neighbor and says, "See? It's like I told you. The Jews always get the best treatment ..."

 

A woman's poem

He didn't like my salt beef

And he didn't like my cake.

My kichel were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't make the borsht right

He left the cholent stew.

I didn't wash his gatkes…

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and gave him a potch...

Like his mother used to do.

 

Do not use "beef_stew" as a password! It's not stroganoff.

 

I said to the woman at the deli, “I’d like to buy a corned beef and pastrami, with pickles.”

She replied, “Sorry... We only take cash or card.”

 

Difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef

 

I saw Han Solo crying while eating his beef. Later I asked why. He said it was chewy.

 

 I’ve started investing in stocks; beef, chicken and vegetable. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

 

Christians, Muslims, and Jews are always fighting, but Hindus never have any beef......

 

When vegans get into an argument is it still called beef?

I have no idea. But if it gets physical, all vegans know the art of foot karate. They call it tofu.

 

I went to the store for some beef broth. But they were all out of stock

 

If a mass of beef fat is 'tallow', and mass of pig fat is 'lard', what is a mass of human fat called?

'American'.

 

When vegans have an argument, is it still beef? No. It’s leaf.

 

Yankel goes into a fancy Israeli restaurant and orders the main dish special of the day. After a few bites he calls his waiter over and says

“Waiter! Is this a Prime Rib or Filet Mignon?

“ Can't you tell by the taste of it?” Dudu asks him back

“No!”

“Then why do you care?”

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The answer to this week”s question is D- This one was pretty easy. Palestinians cross into Jordan through the Allenby Crossing also known as the King Hussein Bridge. It’s called that because he refused to recognize an official crossing from Israel’s “occupied territory” to Jordan his sovereign nation. Thus it’s an unofficial crossing for Palestinians only. Part II is an important question and timely yediah to have… Gaza was under Egyptian Milliatry rule until 1967. There was no Palestine. There was no such thing as a Palestinian people. They were Egyptians- that Egypt pretty much never had an interest in having. Did the world complain about the poor Gazan’s back then under Egyptian Rule and “occupation”? You gueesed right! So anyways this is important information that the world is not interested in acknowledging. But I got it right and  thus the  new score is Rabbi Schwartz 8.5 Ministry of Tourism 4.5 on this exam so far. Oy….