Deep Dive- Parshat Ki Tavo 5786 2026

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 28^th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 43 15^th of Elul 5785

 

Parshat Ki Tavo

Deep Dive

Click here below for print edition

(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Ki Tavo 2026  )

 

The poor child was crying. He was sad. He didn't want to even eat anything and they were nervous as Yom Kippur was coming. It was clear he had undergone serious trauma. But from what? It turns out it was this week's Torah reading. The reading that Ezra established that we read each year right before Rosh Hashana. Meaning even back in the day when they would only finish the Torah reading every three years, this week every year they would pause and read the Tochacha- words of rebuke, or terrifying curses Moshe tells us about if we don't follow the mitzvos. So prepare your kid for the Torah reading-especially the verses about how hungry parents will feast on them mercilessly. Yeah… that might take some therapy.

 

Now this wasn't just a regular child. The boy in the story was none other than the Mittler Lubavitcher Rebbe Reb Dov Ber. This was seemingly not the first time he had heard this Torah reading and so the Chasidim were a bit confused as to what set him off this particular year. His response though gives us a whole new perspective on life, Rosh Hashana and my tourists and adventures last week and an outlook that can help us make it through our High Holidays.

 

It seems that year, was the first time that young Dov Ber heard the Torah reading from someone other than his father who had leined. That's when it hit him. Because as he explained to the Chasidim.

"When my Totte read the Torah- I never heard curses, I only heard blessings".

 

The words were the same words. But when Totty said them, when Totty was reading the Torah, they didn't sound like curses. They were all really blessings. He read them differently. I heard them differently. He saw the essence of what they really were. He didn't hear anything scary.

 

That's the story. What does it mean? There's an incredible Pri Ha'aretz of The Rebbe of Vitebsk that explains the reason why the Talmud says we should read these curses now. The Talmud tells us

 

"Tichle Shana V'Kiloleseha- the year should end as should it's curse

Tachel shana u'birchoseha- the year should (then) begin with it's blessings.

 

Simply put it seems to say that by saying, reading and hearing all of these curses we should then be done with them all. Perhaps even the reading of them alone could be an atonement and a fulfillment of them. Perhaps their reading will inspire us to do teshuva and be done with them. And then we can move on with a dip-the-apple-in-honey sweet new year.

 

The Vitebsker reads it a bit differently. He suggests that the word 'tichleh' doesn't just mean end it means more accurately- "bring to its fulfillment" as we find by Rus and by Yibum. A 'kallah' is a daughter-in-law who is the one who brings to fulfillment the birth of a son and the bringing forward the next generation.  As well he writes that the word "shana", doesn't just mean "year", but it means repetition, as we say in Shema V'shinantam li'vanecha- you should teach repeatedly to your children. What Chazal are saying is that the repetition of curse should reach its conclusion and it's purpose, and then the repetition of blessing can once again begin. Whewww… sounds deep- as his stuff usually does and is. But let's put it into a good two-part Rabbi Schwartz cool tour guiding story for you and see if we can crunch it all together for us today.

 

So, my i-phone 14 pro max that I status all the time from and take all of my tourist pictures and videos with and climb under waterfalls with and pretty much rules most of my life was giving me problems. The battery wasn't holding out long. It was freezing up. It was time to get it fixed. That's what Apple Care is for. Yet, in Israel they really don't have that so well here, so you've got to take it into to the one store- which it seems is a secret where it is and when it's open, because the first three stores I hit kept sending me around to other ones. And then it takes a good few weeks until they send you a new one. Now I can't afford to wait a few weeks phonelessly. My status watchers would rebel and block streets in Jerusalem and Lakewood in protests if that happen, forget about all the Torah and Israel inspiration the world would be missing out on. Especially if a war broke out, I mean how would Bibi and Trump know what to do?

 

So I needed to transfer all my information to another phone. The problem was my daughter Elka- now starting to hear shidduchim hint hint- just gave up her smart phone because she's very frum, but her phone didn't have enough memory. But… as I was checking my Apple Care I realized that I had a phone sitting in my drawer that was broken that still had a warranty on it as well, that I had been paying for. Cool! So I brought in that phone and they said they would send me a new one, which once I received I figured I would transfer my phone to and then replace as well.

 

It took em about a few weeks, but they called me last week Wednesday and told me that my phone was ready. I was excited because now I could finally get my phone fixed and told them I would pick it up as soon as I had a chance in the next few days. What happened next? Well, Hashem had different plans. See, my tourists were joining me for some fun rafting down the Jordan when cute little Simcha who I was trying to push back into the raft kicked my phone off it's necklace and poof it was gone. Empty necklace and panic overtook me. We all jumped in and tried diving. I said some quick prayers and for about twenty minutes we couldn't find a thing. I was about to give up hope. I offered one last quick prayer before my last dive and whadaya know? I couldn't believe it. I felt in my hand a plastic phone case with an I-Phone! Wheee…!! I jumped up. I found it. Everyone cheered. It was a miracle. Except…

 

When I looked at the phone case in my hand, I saw a small I-phone 8 with Moshe Malkas expired credit card from 2023 in it. Not my phone. Prank. Psych. I just pictured Hashem and His heavenly angels all rolling their Divine anthropomorphic heads off. Gotcha Schwartz! Ha ha…. I wish Hashem had better things to do besides prank me like this all the time.

 

But the truth is I laughed as well. It didn't bother me that much, because Hashem had sent me the cure before the disease. My replacement phone was sitting in the Apple Shop in Haifa and two hours afterwards I already had the replacement in my hand. It was a cute funny story. I now had some material for a Shabbos drasha and an unsponsored E-Mail (hint hint). But that's just part I. It was a lesson of how Hashem provides the remedy before He hits you up. How Totty doesn't really do anything too bad to you…

Part Two is better though. See a few days later I was with different tourists. This time we were water hiking down some delicious springs. Once again, I didn't listen to my mother or my wife and still took my phone with me in new waterproof phone necklace case bag. I don't even know why they even still bother trying to tell me stuff anymore. You'd think 50 years or so they'd learn its really a waste of breath. This time though my phone was fine. Nothing happened. My glasses on the other hand…. Well, there was this natural rocky water slide that I couldn't resist and so I had to show my tourists how to do it and how safe it was, so I slid down them with a big whishhh… I popped up on the bottom. My glasses though… not so much.

 

Once again, de ja vu takes over and I start diving frantically for my glasses. They all join. The adventure is on. I'm saying my prayers. I'm promising Reb Meir some money. Reb Shayala, Reb Shimon, the Baal… whoever wants to help me out here. I don't have a spare pair. And then wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden, boom!  I feel them. I lunge down scoop them up come flying out of the water waving them and cheering "I got them!!". Except guess what? They weren't mine. They were someone else's sunglasses that also looked like they were there for a few years. I heard the angels in heaven laughing again… Gotcha again… hahaha Schwartz… They really have to get a life. Like there's a war going on. There are crises. People in Lakewood can't get into schools, and their bus fares are going up… What's this obsession with Schwartz…?

 

But I smile. I laugh. It is funny. Whatever you want Totty. I don't hear curses. I only hear blessings. I'm yours have Your fun. And then I dive back down and whadaya know. Mamash the next dive, my glasses come up. I had them back. The curse wasn't a curse. It was just getting me to see the world differently. It was just for me realize Hashem is my Totty. He's up there. He's looking at me. He's playing with me. I just had to dive down deep into that reservoir of faith and find Him. Love Him. Accept Him. Bless Him. And the world is a much more beautiful place to look at.

 

Do you know what tichle shana v'killiloseha means? That the curses should find the end to their repetition? The Pri Ha'aretz tells us that everything from Hashem is blessing. He created a perfect world, yet from the beginning of time when we ate from that wrong tree and listened to the snake back in the Garden, we introduced curses that distance us from Hashem that are meant to direct us to Him back again. Our phones fell into the river. Our glasses did too. We're busy on them all the time and we're not seeing the world and Totty calling us home. So He brings curses. He chucks them in the river and makes us dive again and again. Shana acharey shana. Dive in and find Him. Pray to Him. Realize that He's not on your phone. He's not what you see out of your again and again world as it is glasses. He's deep in the river of life. Close your eyes and feel for Him.

 

Now sometimes while we're diving for Him, we pick up something that we think is our phone. We think its our connection to Him. But it's not. I mean, it is Him, but it's not really our message our tikkun. It's someone else's. It's not the right phone. Other times we settle for the replacement phone He prepared for us. But it's also not really seeing how that curse is really to bring us back. Let me explain again with real life.

 

October 7^th -curse, Holocaust-curse, destruction of Temple- curse. All the bad scary things in the parsha- curse. Yet, the Holocaust led to establishment of State of Israel. October 7^th is leading to the final redemption and has changed so many things in this country and in yours on so many levels. You can figure it out. Destruction of the Temples led to Mishna, Talmud. Rasing sparks. Those are things we're finding when we thought we lost on our dives and found there on the bottom. But guess what they're not the curse that is turning into a blessing. They're alternates. They're Hashem laughing and even providing us with replacement stuff He prepared. But they're not the final redemption. They're not the Bais Ha'Mikdash. We're still hearing and feeling the curse. We're still not the Mittler Rebbe that never heard a curse in the entire reading from the Baal Ha'Tanya because he only hears blessing from Totty. We're still repeating and repeating shana after shana the curse but we're still not at the point where we see the blessing all the way from the beginning. Where we feel the Tacheil shana u'birchoseha.

 

But this year will be different. This year Mashiach is coming. We're on the final dive. As we enter these last weeks before Rosh Hashana, Ezra who unsuccessfully rebuilt the second Temple, but couldn't get most of the Jews to come back established this Torah reading before the end of the year. It's lesson and His message is that we need to all take that final dive through the klalos and bring them to their true purpose. To return us to Hashem. To see the blessing that He is sending us that is disguised as a curse. And then we can join the angels and our Father in that eternal laughter. Az yimalei sichok pinu- then we can have the full laugh together with them and bask in the blessing of our Totty.

 

Have a blessed Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“A kloleh iz nit kain telegrameh; zi kumt nit on azoi gich. - A curse is not a telegram: it doesn’t arrive as quickly. 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

13. The war that erupted immediately after the Six-Day War is called ________ 

 

What is the current population of Tel Aviv-Jaffa (as of 2025)?

 A. About 200,000

 B. About 550,000

 C. About 800,000

D. About 1 million

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ponecha-your-face – I composed this the Elul before the war. It's a gorgeous song that we recite in our daily additional L'Dovid Psalm that Hashem shouldn't hide his face from us. Dovid Lowy knocks it out of the park with vocals and heartfelt arrangements.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CVFG0xCFwc&list=RD2CVFG0xCFwc&start_radio=1   – Eitan Katz's Niggun Teshuva redone for Elul

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otxKs52rk24&list=RDotxKs52rk24&start_radio=1   – Motty Shteimetz latest release Hakol Chefeitzim- we all long for you….

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGxcGJ4IarA&list=RDGGxcGJ4IarA&start_radio=1 –OORah releases an Elul Dust in the Wind…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjvXvShLcPo – I found this podcast interview to be mindblowing and inspirational on so many levels. Aron Sokol and a former Pastor now Noachide and the movement of Mashiach… wow!!

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Nechemia's Wall -333 BC - It took Nechemia 52 days to build the walls of Yerushalyim. He finished the on the 25^th of Elul. Meaning that at this time 1900 and something years ago they were almost done with the job. Next week they would finish. The 25^th of Elul isn't just a date of course. It's the day that Hashem started the Creation of the world, which of course culminated with the Creation of Adam on that first Friday Rosh Hashana, the 6^th day of Creation. Dates are not random. Take a look at the wars of Israel. Yom Kippur War, Simchat Torah War… Yom Ha'Atzmaut- just joking…

Who knows what will be this holiday. Stay ready?

 

Now Archeologists have uncovered some of the remains of Nechemia's wall in the city of David we have the steeped structure that is almost certain from Nechemia. As well by the Kings Garden there as well it dates back to his time. In the old city of Yerushalayim as well, we have off the Jewish Quarter the remains of the Broad Wall which not from Nechemia, however it says that he repaired the walls until that Broad Wall. As well although Nechemia mentions many gates that we don't have today, one of them is certainly around and that is the one between the Kotel and the City of David which is the Dung Wall- or Sha'ar Ha'ashpos. Although the current wall there really goes to the Turks, but it is likely built on the remains of Herods Roman walls and Nechemia's wall as well.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE CURSE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

There was once a prince who had been cursed by a witch. the curse was that he could only say one word each year. Well one day, by the stream, he meets a beautiful princess. he decides that he loves her, and doesn't speak for 3 years so that he can save up the words to tell her " I love you".

then, after the 3 years are up, he realizes that he wants to marry her so he stays silent for another 4 years, so he can ask " will you marry me?"

Well, the day finally comes. he's so excited, and he's kneeling by the fountain with a smile on his face, he looks up at the princess and says, I love you. will you marry me?

There was silence for a second, before she responds "I'm sorry what was that?"

 

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."

He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"

 

Adam meets a witch The witch tells him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed"!

Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive."

Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely *will* be cursed!

Adam: "Nope. You're hideous."

The witch then transformed him into an ant.

Witch: "Look where your rudeness brought you! "

Adam: "Yeah this sucks, but you still look like a moldy potato."

Witch: "Very well, then. You will remain in this form until you repent and call me pretty!"

He is still adamant.

 

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck. Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Gehenom.

The Satan, as is his custom, goes to greet his two newest eternal residents, and despite rivers of lava and torrents of brimstone, they’re standing around in jackets.

“Not hot enough for you?” asked the Satan.

“What, this? Nah, this is like a Spring day in Chicago.”

The Satan doesn’t take lightly to such a slight, so he decides to really turn things up. The renewed eternal hellfire and inferno has made the screams of the tormented souls in hell even louder. Rivers of lava overflowing their banks. The Satan goes to check on his two Chicagoans, and sure enough he sees them lounging in shorts and t-shirts.

“Not hot enough for you?” the Satan queries bewilderedly.

“What, this? Nah, this is like a July in Chicago. In fact, I think the humidity was worse in the summer of ’96.”

The Satan is even more incensed. He comes up with a new idea. Turn the thermostat way down. The cursed souls in Hell are greeted by new but equally unbearable type of torture. The lava stops flowing, brimstone stops glowing, and wouldn’t you know it, the ground they stand on has frozen solid.

The Satan again searches out his two Chicagoans, and to his dismay, they’re hugging and cheering.

“What’s this all about!?” the Devil roared.

“THEY’VE DONE IT, IT’S FINALLY HAPPENED, THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!”

 

A couple passed a one-legged hitch-hiker on the highway.The wife suggested they should give him a ride. Her husband said, "Nope, I tried to give him a ride just the other day. He just screamed and cursed at me."

"I wonder why," she said.

"Don't know," he answered," All I said to him was 'hop in.'"

 

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft...

Today, it's called golf.

 

Two American tourists were backpacking in Europe when a car pulled up next to them. The driver rolled down his window and asked in german:” Where is the nearest diner?”

The two Americans, not knowing a fraction of German, stared blankly at the driver. “Sorry, but we have no idea what you are saying.”

The driver tried again in French and again was met with blank stares and shakes of the head from the two tourists.

Getting frustrated, he tried again in Italian, in Spanish, each time receiving nothing but sheepish smiles from the two of them. Finally, he cursed under his breath and drove away angrily.

The first American asked his partner:” Maybe we should learn a second language.” His partner shrugged and replied:” Why? That dude knew four languages and it didn’t help him.”

 

The cruel god cursed his creations with dyslexia, but nothing happened since they could do no wrong while fully under his control. So he gave all of them free will – and the first thing his creations did was Deicide.

*******************************************

 

The answer to this week's question is B- Only got this one half right. I overcounted Tel Aviv. I gave them 800k but in truth its about 500k. I guess I was counting surrounding areas as well. But truth is once you go larger then the Gush Dan area is about 4 million. But I did get part 1 correct. The War of Attrition between Israel and the newly created Palestinians that were Jordanians five minute before, but that Jordan didn't want to accept into their country and integrate them. Egypt and Russia and Syria of course joined and supported and funded their attacks that went on for three years. It ended pretty much when Jordan just went in and slaughtered about 3000 of them and they pretty much left up North to Libya and Lebanon.  So 50/50 on this one and the score is Rabbi Schwartz having 9.5 points and the MOT having 3.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam

Our Worst Enemy- Parshat Behar Bechukosai 5785 2025

Insights and Inspiration from the Holy Land from Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz "Your friend in Karmiel" May 23rd 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 28 25th of Iyar 5785   Parshat Behar- Bechukosai  Our Worst Enemy   So what are your hobbies? Are you into sports? Do you like hiking, biking, collecting postage stamps, reading? My father likes shopping in Target. My wife likes scrap-booking. Most Jews are foodies. Personally I like music; composing and singing, although there are many that would like to see me take up a new hobby, particularly those that suffer through my Shabbos table compositions. I also like writing; in case you didn't notice. But as Rav Kook once brilliantly said, he writes not because he knows how, it's because he can't remain silent anymore. This week's E-Mail is one of those writings for me. Although the truth is most weeks really are.   It seems, from what I understood and heard in the media, that our Israeli soldiers also seem to have developed a new hobby, that I was until this week clueless about. According to Yair Golan, a former major General in Israeli Army, and former Economy Minister our soldiers like to kill Palestinian babies for fun. Nice. I wonder if he meant to say that we take their blood for our matzos on Pesach as well. Isn't it great the way that Jewish blood libels work? Yet, it would seem that if that is what their hobby is, they don't seem to be very good at it. Certainly not good enough for my liking. Maybe they need to find a new one.   Now if it was just this antisemitic Israeli loser-who by the way is a Harvard graduate, surprise-surprise- it would be one thing. But joining the chorus of self-hating Jews and Israelis is no less of a figure then the former Prime Minister of Israel Ehud Olmert, who fantastically got on the BBC to explain to the world how what Israel is doing in Gaza clearly falls under the category of International War Crimes. It seems whenever we defend ourselves and don't just walk passively into a gas chamber or a Kibbutz oven while singing soulfully Ani Maamin it's a problem and crime. Now if he was accusing Israel of fraud, bribery and corruption, then I think he should be taken seriously. After-all the man is the expert on those subjects having served time in Israeli prisons for those offenses that he committed while he was in office, after selling out Israel in both the Lebanon war and the second Gaza War against Chamas, pretty much leaving them both alone so that we could thank him for October 7th. It's nice when a former Prime Minister whose approval level reached the 3% level, the lowest in our country's history gets up publicly and tells us what we we're doing wrong.   Yet, that seems to be the way of many former loser Prime Ministers of Israel. Hello Ehud Barak, the man who was willing to hand over most of Jerusalem to Yasser Arafat including the Temple Mount and make it the capital of Palestine and who was once quoted as saying that if he were a Palestinian he would be a terrorist. He forgot to mention that as well if he were a Palestinian he wouldn't be living in a 25 million shekel house in Tel Aviv or hanging out with Jeffery Epstien's chevra in NY. Well, while most of Israel sanefully condemned this guy Golan, Barak praised him as a brave man that speaks truth that needs to be heard. With all of this support, who needs the UN to condemn us. Why be worried about George Soros, another great lover of dead Jews, when we have our own haters here. Who said Israel can't do it just as good as anyone else? Is it any wonder that the next day, Canda, France and England all called in their Israeli ambassadors and are talking about sanctioning us. That two Embassy workers in the US are shot by a lunatic. That 40% of the worlds antisemitic crimes are in the United States the largest amount in the world according to the latest study I just saw. Why should anyone not hate Israel and the Jews if we hate ourselves so much?   Now this is not a new phenomenon in our history. We have always been our worst enemies. Yes, wars, horrors, tragedies, our enemies and October 7th brings us all together and unify our nation for a minute or two. Yet at the same time and as these things shlep out what happens is that we turn against each other. We point fingers. We even pathetically justify our enemy's hatred of us. The German "enlightened" Jews did that to the poor old-fashioned "ghetto" Jews of Poland. The besser mentchen of Hungary did as well. The original sabras of Israel would make fun of the European refugees and called them "soap" (you can figure out that one on your own) and scorned them for being "sheep to the slaughter". There were Jews that converted to Christianity in Spain and Torquemada the grand inquisitor himself was Jewish. During the period of the Crusades and various expulsions many Jews even debated great Rabbis and were behind the burning and censorship of the Talmud. Most of Stalin's rabidly anti-religious communists politburo were Jews and the Yevsektsiya was the Jewish section of that party, who went after their co-religionists with an atheistic zeal that only Jews can have for one another.   This sickness though, isn't just the last millennia. It goes back to the Roman period when Jews fought and killed one another in the Bar Kochva revolt and in the period before the destruction of the Temple as well. Earlier in the story of Chanuka its estimated that Hellenized Jews were 20% of the Greek army that the Maccabees fought against. Hellenism is "Harvard"-ism in today's modern lexicon. It happened in the first temple period, it happened back in Egypt. Again and again and again… yes, my friends we really really are our worst enemy. We always have been, and we never seem to learn. It seems to be our eternal depressing curse. And as this week's parsha tells us, and that I never really noticed before, this is not just a metaphor. It really is a curse. The curse of Hashem.   Parshat Behar and Bechukosai are the last parshiyot of the book of Vayikra. The book that started off with Hashem calling to Moshe, lovingly, with the Mishkan being built, with the sacrifices to come close to Hashem, with the purification from all of our impurities, sins and mistakes, ends with the horrific curses and foreboding doom that awaits us if we don't "walk" in the laws and mitzvos of Hashem. If we do not toil in his Torah. If we remove Him from our lives. From our land. From our home. If we live lives as it happens to us, rather than understanding that we are a nation with a purpose, with a role, with a mandate. Then Hashem will reciprocate in kind and the world, our world, will fall apart. The curses will replace the blessings that we were meant to experience and bring.   The curse, punishment or perhaps the best word is the consequence of our not following the mitzvos that jumped out at me this week though was this verse right in the beginning   Vayikra 26:17- And I will place My face upon you, and you will be smitten by your enemies and your haters will subjugate you and you will flee and there will be no one pursuing you.   Who are the enemies and who are haters? So Rashi tells us the enemies, which it mentions on the blessing side of the coin as running from just a few of us, are the nations that come to attack us. The haters though, which are only mentioned in the curses that will rule over us, those are   Mikem and bachem- they are the ones from us that will come up against us. "I only give rise to haters from amongst you". For when the nations of the world, the Gentiles, Amalek and Midian when they come to attack us only going for the things out the in the open. They burn down our fields and crops. Our own homegrown enemies, though, they go over the hidden treasures. They knew where the true value is and go for the gold.   There's only so much damage, the verse and the curse seems to imply that a goy can do to us…. The real damage though is only what we can inflict upon ourselves. It's the homegrown Jewish terrorist supporters and Torah haters, that we have to really watch out for. Those are the real tzoris…. We may think that we are fleeing and being chased by our enemies… but that's not the real problem. The problem is us.   This parsha and these curses are always read before the holiday of Shavuos, just as the curses and Mussar of the book of Devarim given by Moshe are read before Rosh Hashana. The Talmud tells us its because Shavuos is also a new year. It's the new year when Hashem judges the fruits of the tree. Now I imagine when we read these scary verses before Rosh Hashana it gets us kind of nervous. Judgement day is coming. Who will live and who will die are here. The books are opened. We've had a whole month of Elul to get ready. Anyone feeling any of that now? Or are you just thinking about all night learning sessions and blintzes? And you Americans I imagine are thinking about the like 4 day Yom tov coming up… (Yeah, Friday and Shabbos is Erev's and then Sunday is another Erev for the two day following Yom Tov on Monday and Tuesday. It's worth it to make Aliyah just to avoid that…). Judgement day for trees doesn't really speak to me though. I'm more of a meat and potato man myself, Pizza and Pasta work as well. Sure I like oranges and apples, but I'm not really that trepidated for this judgement day. If there would be a judgement day for my car making it through the year, that would be of more concern for me. So what's with this whole pre- Shavuot curses?   Now the truth is the word curses is really not the word our sages utilize for these parshiyot. The word they use is the Tochacha- rebuke, or perhaps more accurately the showing and proving of the proper path. Tochiach in Hebrew is "to prove". Hochacha is a proof. Fascinatingly enough this concept of tochacha is a mitzva that we learned a few weeks ago in the parsha of Kedoshim. Hochayach tochayach amisecha- A Jew is obligated to rebuke and set straight his friend. If not the Torah tells us then we bear his sin. That idea interestingly enough is based on another concept, again another one that we are familiar with. Rashi even mentions it in our parsha and fascinatingly enough is that it is not only in this tochacha but specifically in the piece that talks about our enemies from within.   The verse repeats this curse of running when there's no one there a few verses later.   (ibid; 27) And each man will stumble in their brother as if from a sword and there is none pursuing them  and they will not be able to arise from before their enemies.   Rashi there notes, that the verse states that a man will stumble in their brother, rather then "on" or "with" or "from"our brother. Our sages derive from this that each man stumbles in the sin of their brother. For Kol Yisrael areivim zeh la zeh- each Jew is a guarantor and responsible for one another.   His sin is my sin. I'm punished and cursed because I am his guarantor. When I have an enemy from within me attacking me, maligning me, destroying me, then I shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that its coming from the outside. It's from the UN, from Hamas, from Iran, from the EU, or from the ICC. We're running from the wrong things if that's what our assumption is. They're not there. It's the sins of my brother that are considered my sins that are the problem. All the missiles, Iron Domes, negotiations and peace agreements won't heal the cancer from within. Because we are all in one boat with a hole in it,  Rebbi Shimon Bar Yochai teaches us,and as long as one guy is drilling in it all the horse power we put into our engine is not gonna get us out the ocean we will drown in.   Rav Kook has a fascinating halachic chakira- not sure how to translate that, but perhaps a halachic exposition, a brisker klehr if you will. He notes that there is a mitzva of giving rebuke and there is a concept as well of us being responsible for one another; of us being one. He asks which is the point and which is process? What's the chicken and what's the egg? Is the goal that we should all be doing the right thing and following the mitzvos, and thus the way that we make that happen is by each one taking responsibility for one another and rebuking and correcting one another and making sure we all are following the will of Hashem. Or perhaps he suggests, and ultimately proves according to many sources, that it's exactly the opposite. The point is that we should be united. The point is that we should all feel sense of responsibility for one another. That we understand that as long as one Jew isn't doing what he's supposed to than I myself am not complete. That I'm missing my arm, my leg. That I'm not really walking in the path of Hashem as long as he is not beside me. That the shechina is not going to come down to the world as long as he is left behind. That he's not doing what he's supposed. As long as my sister or brother or father is still a hostage in Gaza. As long as my son is still serving in Gaza or Lebanon. Our family is not complete. I'm not complete.   The mitzva of tochacha, of me rebuking him and bringing him close is not about getting him to do the right thing, it's about me developing that sense of responsibility that I'm lacking with him. It's not that he is the enemy from within. It's that I am that same enemy as well, as long as I don't bring him close, that I don't succeed in giving my tochacha.   There was twice in our history when we were all united in one place and with one heart and when the shechina came down. The first was on Shavuot when we stood on Sinai. We were one man and one heart and we accepted our mandate to bring Hashem's light to this world as one. The second was less then a year later on Yom Kippur when Moshe came down with those second tablets and told us we were forgiven for our sin of the golden calf. That we learned that despite the fact that only a small portion of us sinned yet we were all held accountable. That forgiveness and teshuva are possible when we all unite together, when we mourn together, when we tell Hashem that we want to see Him together. We want him to dwell amongst us. It is with that story that the book of Shemos concluded and that the book of Vayikra began. And it is with the reminder and consequences of us not living up to that the book concludes.   The AR"I and the kabbalists explain that the judgement of the trees is whether mankind, we the nation of Hashem, will repair the sin of that original tree of knowledge back in the garden when Hashem walked with Adam. The tree was perhaps the first to sin when Hashem created it by not producing a tree that's bark tasted like the tree. It was an eitz oseh pri and not an eitz pri- A tree that bore fruit and not a fruit tree. There was a disconnect. It wasn't one. Mankind's job is to unite the universe. To bring it back to that state of Oneness without any disconnect. To do that we need to be one. We need to be one with each other and we need to be one with the land of Israel from where that spirit and light shines out to the world.   Do you know what Shemitta has to do with Mt. Sinai, as Rashi asks in the beginning of the parsha. Shemitta is all of the details, specifics and nuances that relate to revealing the light of Hashem in His land. Sinai is revealing that same light and oneness that is in each and every Jew. All our klaloseihem, and prataoseha- our nuances, our differences, our opinions, our light. They are all one. They are all Hashem. They are all in the Garden.   Ezra decreed that we read this tochacha before Rosh Hashana/ Yom Kippur and before Shavuos to remind us of that arvus that we possess. To tell us that when we are not functioning as one then nothing will function right. Creation is broken. There's famine, there's no rain, there are no crops, there's plague, there's death, there's destruction, there's Holocausts and there's October 7th and wars in Gaza and enemies around the world that will come and destroy us. If we are not one and take that responsibility for our brother then they will naturally become our enemies from within, that will seek the hidden treasures. They will seek the soul that is lacking. They will look for that spark that we their more knowledgeable and observant brothers have hidden from them. Hidden, because we have written them off. Hidden, because we called them our sonim- our enemies. Because we've made them and allowed them to become our enemies, by not feeling and understanding enough that they are our arms, our legs, and our only way to reveal the shechina in the world. And that we are not complete without them.   Our world is in turmoil today. We're moving faster and faster to our redemption. We've seen the blessings, the return to the land, the flourishing of its crops in its once desolate ground, the miraculous fall of our enemies and ameilus in Torah like never before. We even merited to experience the return to Yerushalayim in this week's 68th anniversary of the Six Day war on Yom Yerushalayim. Sixty Eight is Chas. It is Hashem having mercy upon us. Chas V'Shalom, mercy and peace. Peace from within and peace from without. He is only waiting for us to read and internalize that tochacha. If we are able to, then by this year Shavuot we will once again merit to stand as one man with one heart and walk together in Gan Eden with Hashem.   Have an amazing Shabbos and a blessed Chodesh Sivan Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz  ************************ YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK   " Vos der mentsh ken alts ibertrachten, ken der ergster soineh im nitvintshen." .- What a man thinks up for himself, his worst enemy couldn’t wish for him. RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK answer below at end of Email   19. The annual amount of precipitation below which a geographical area is defined as a desert is ______ mm. Which of the following facts about the Israel Trail is true? A. The trail passes through northern Samaria B. The trail was designed so that its sections connect settlements C. Its southern start or end point is the Eilat beach D. The trail is marked in white-orange-white colors RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buiNbNUqB2g -   In honor of Rosh Chodesh bentching this beautiful song by Pesach Eidenson and Dudi Kalish Yechadshehu https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rljpmmmux94 – The latest hilarious Bardak, brilliant yeshivish wedding dance… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC0_R6pbgaA  - Mordechai Shapiro's latest Trying my Best… sounds great… Part I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCShKilDjNY  – Getting into Shavuos Mode with Zanvil's latest Bonai Chavivai   https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/kad-yasvun  – Which of course is not as good as my Kad Yasvun composition with vocals and arrangements by the one and only Dovid Lowy! RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK 589 BC -False Hopes- With the siege on Yerushalayim one would think that the hearts of the nation would be broken and would try to repent. In fact, Tzidkiyahu the king even makes the people take an oath that they would free all of their Jewish slaves that they were working. This week's Torah portion tells us how that was forbidden, and how there is a mitzva to free slaves after 7 years. The people even listened for a bit, but then went right back to sinning again and taking those Jewish slaves back. The parsha this week of Behar and Bechukosai tells us of the curses and destruction that will follow and guess what? It did… There were even some that made golden calves once again, the prophet Yirmiyahu tells us. Whether this is a metaphor or not is of discussion, but certainly the concept is that we created false gods that we thought we could rely on. What were they? The Talmud tells us that Israel felt they had great warriors. One guy could even stand on the wall and chuck the missiles right back at them. He was our "Iron Dome" and even better as it threw the missiles right back at them. Yet, when we continued to sin, Hashem threw him off the wall. We also had the cousin of Yirmiyahu named Chanamel who thought he could invoke the names of the angels which he knew personally to come down from heaven and help them. The only problem is Hashem changed their names and then he was useless as well. Perhaps that as well is a good metaphor that spiritual metaphysical solutions are also not there to save us. But perhaps the last great hope was our "friends" amongst the nations. Tzidkiyahu sent messengers to Egypt and asked them to come join and fight with us against our "common enemy" Bavel/Iran. Hey does that sound eerily familiar? Calling other nations, even perhaps arab nations to our side against the common enemy in Iran. Egypt even sent boatloads of soldiers to save us. Yet, once again never count on the nations to be there for us. What does Hashem do? He brought up the dead bodies of the ancient Egyptians that perished when we left Egypt about 800 years prior or so. The Egyptians saw them from their boats, they remembered their hatred from us and they turned around and went home. Israel was alone. There was only Hashem in heaven that could save us. He wanted us to just repent and find Him. Yet, it is there false hopes and avoidance of Teshuva that ultimately led to our downfall. RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TRAITOR JOKES OF THE WEEK   A CIA Agent, KGB spy and Mossad agent were sent to infiltrate a terrorist cell. The terrorists figured out the three were infiltrators and thus captured them.The terrorists decided to torture the three infiltrators. They started with the CIA agent. “Do not worry, for I have been trained in the United State’s most insidious enhanced interrogation techniques and how to resist them.” They heard the agent crying for around 10 minutes before he was tossed back in the cell, bloodied and bruised. “I failed. I told them everything I knew.” Next, the terrorists came for the KGB spy. “Comrades, there is nothing to fear. For our glorious cause, I have survived in the most dangerous areas of the Motherland, and will not fail!” Once again, screams reached the cell. But the KGB agent lasted only 30 minutes. Afterwards, he was tossed back in the cell with several broken bones. “Comrades, I am ashamed to admit that I have betrayed the glorious Motherland and divulged all manners of secrets.” Finally, the terrorists came for the Mossad agent. With his head resigned, knowing that members of the two greatest spy agencies failed, he was unsure as to how he would survive. The torture started. Screams concern again echoed within the cell. But they didn’t soon cease. 10 minutes passed, then a half hour, then hours. Throughout that night, the torture continued. It went on for an entire week, but it didn’t seem that the Mossad agent would break. When the week was up, the terrorists tossed a very broken man back in the cell. The KGB and CIA agents were surprised. “How did you last so long?” Through a mouth of broken teeth and blood, the Mossad agent replied. “I tried to tell them everything, but my hands were tied.”   An FBI chief is informed there is a traitor in his staff. He decides to test 3 agents he suspects. He loads his gun with blanks and then calls them in to his office. He sits down the first agent and asks him: Chief: "Are you a patriot?" Agent: "Yes sir, I am." Chief: "Do you love more, your country or your family?" Agent: "My country sir!" Chief: "Alright, take this gun and head into that room. Inside waiting is your wife and you need to kill her with this gun." The agent gently picks up the gun off the table and walks into the room. One minute of silence later and the agent returns with a defeated look on his face. Agent: "I can't do it sir, I don't have what it takes." Chief: "You are dismissed." The same line of questioning repeats with the next agent. The agent then picks up the gun and walks in the room where his wife is waiting. Three minutes pass without a sound being made. He returns with an angry look and says: Agent: "I won't do it sir, this isn't right." Chief: "You are dismissed." Next agent comes and the same line of questioning is repeated. He grabs the gun and walks into the room where his wife is waiting. Not five seconds pass and you hear BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Then some loud banging, things falling over, grunts and heavy breathing followed by a faint squeal and finally complete silence. The agent returns with his clothes wrinkled and his hair messed up. He puts the now empty gun on the table and says: Agent: "Sir, for some reason the gun fired blanks so I had to strangle her."   Why did the traitor wear two watches? Because he's a two timer.   Why did Lenin mark the names of traitors with? at the end? Because they question Marx   Berel, John and Achmed were sentence to death by a firing squad because of treason to the state. Berel was the first up. the general gave the command to his soldiers to shoot. “Ready..Aim...” Then Berel suddenly shouted “EARTHQUAKE!!” All the soldiers hid for cover and Ben escaped. John was next. “Ready...Aim...” Then John Screamed “TSUNAMI!!” The soldiers hid for cover again and they lost John as well. The last was Achmed. “Ready...Aim...” Then Achmed suddenly shouted “FIRE!”   What do you call a traitor who is deaf in one ear? A mute-in-ear   Where is Benedict Arnold's favorite place to shop for groceries? Traitor Joe's Why did the traitor wear two watches? Because he's a two timer. What did the jungle bird say to his friend after being betrayed? "Toucan play this game..." Oyyy… *************************************** The answer to this week”s question is C-  Ok after a lousy streak here, things are finally starting to pick up, as I got this one right. A desert in Israel is not made out of sand as I point out to my tourists. It's also not a place that's barren. In fact in the Torah we find that it is a good place to graze animals, which a desert certainly isn't. Rather a midbar is more like a wilderness and is defined by the lack of rainfall there, which is really only a few days a year and less than 200 mm of water. The second part of the question was also pretty easy as the Israel trails runs across the country from Tel Dan in north to the shore of Eilat. It's not a straight line but rather goes to historical and beautiful nature sites and is a few months. Soooo I finally got both right picking up my score to now Rabbi Schwartz 12 Ministry of Tourism 7 on this exam so far, which should me back in passing range.