from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
July 8th 2022 -Volume
11 Issue 39 9th of Tamuz 5782
Parshat Balak
Friday Frenzy
Have you ever noticed that it doesn’t make a difference what
time Shabbos starts you’re always rushing the last minute?
‘Oh no did you set the Shabbos clocks?
Who’s in the shower it’s
almost candle lighting?
‘Or in Israel it’s ‘Who turned the ‘dood’ off, there’s no hot
water.’
(For those who haven’t been here yet and have no clue why a dude
would be in charge of your hot water…. I’m not telling you. Come to Israel and
find out the pleasures of solar-heated hot water tanks yourself.).
‘Did you put the blech on?
Did you print up Rabbi
Schwartz’s weekly E-Mail for our meal yet?’
Really religious people make sure all their bottles have been
opened. Ask them why.
Where’s the cleaners? How come no one set up the candles?’
Now there are some that might suggest that this is the yetzer
harah, the satan or Donald Trump’s fault. I prefer to find the
spiritual, holier excuse. To be milamed zechus on klal Yisrael that
suffers from the erev shabbos frenzy. Just call me Rabbi Ephraim “Berditchever”
Schwartz, the Rabbi who can see a Jew on his phone in shul or talking in the
back in middle of Torah reading and say “hey, at least he’s coming to shul,
right?” That’s what 15 years of Jewish outreach work does to you, what can
I say.
So rather, I posit, that the erev Shabbos rush is actually
built into Creation. It goes back to the very first Erev Shabbos itself. It
goes back to Hashem. What do I mean? There is a famous Mishna in Ethics of our
Fathers
Pirkey Avot (5:6) Ten things
were created on the eve of the Sabbath at twilight, and these are they: [1] the
mouth of the earth, [2] the mouth of the well, [3] the mouth of the donkey, [4]
the rainbow, [5] the manna, [6] the staff [of Moses], [7] the shamir-, [8] the
letters, [9] the writing, [10] and the tablets. And some say: also the demons,
the grave of Moses, and the ram of Abraham, our father. And some say: and also
tongs, made with tongs.
Now if Hashem had a wife- which he doesn’t by the way for any of
my Christian readers out there, you could imagine the conversation going on up
in heaven.
“You had 6 whole days to take care of this stuff… why the last
minute...
How many times do I have to tell you to get your stuff together in
advance?
Really…Now??!! Its five
minutes to the first candle lighting ever and you forgot to take care of the
mouth of the donkey!
The rainbow?
What is a tong of tongs anyways?”
What are those three things and what are their significance? The Mishna in the previous chapter of Avot
gives us a clue.
Pirkey Avos
(4:21) Rabbi Elazar Ha-kappar said: kina’h-envy, ta’avah- desire and [the pursuit for]
kavod- honor remove a man from the world.
What were the temptations of Adam that got us thrown out of the garden?
The snake tempted Chava by telling her that she could be like Hashem. They
could have honor; they could have knowledge. He made them jealous, He showed
them a desirous tasty fruit. It implanted in them what our sages call zuhama-
this spiritual poison and hunger for the things that ultimately make
co-existing together with Hashem in the garden unfeasible.
And so out of the garden we were sent. Two angels guarded the tree
of life, but instead we were given another tree of life to attach ourselves to
that would help us overcome this poison. It’s called the Torah. It is our way
back to the garden.
Well we got that Torah a few thousand years later, and we were
finally ready to return. We had a few stumbles along the way; the golden calf,
the spies and lots of random kvetching, but the time was ripe. It was finally
time for Hashem to give us our mouths back. The mouths that we had defiled way
back when we sinned in Eden.
The first mouth Hashem revealed to us was the mouth of the earth
that swallowed up Korach. Korach represented that poison called jealousy. He
wanted, as did Adam and Chava to be as close to Hashem as possible. “Why is
Aharon the chosen one?” Why not me. The mouth of the earth swallowed him
up. That’s what jealousy will do to you. You come and were formed from the land
and earth; Mother earth. It’s where you will ultimately return. When you are
jealous of another, despite the fact that you may think it is for spiritual
reasons, ultimately you will be consumed by it. That’s what mouths of earth do.
They remind you that nafshi ki’afar tihiyeh- your soul should be humble
like the earth from where you came.
The next lesson was the mouth of the well. It was the rock that
Moshe originally hit to bring out water, but that now, before we enter the
land, he was meant to speak to. The well and the water represents desire. We
have this insatiable thirst that needs to be quenched. Initially the way to
deal with those desires outside of the land of Israel when we first came out of
Egypt is to hit that rock. Knock down your desires. In doing that you will be
satisfied. The water you need will come out and will be holy; will be purified.
Coming to the land of Israel there was a different message that
was meant to be heard from the mouth of the be’er. The lesson was, Rashi
tell us, that just as a rock obeys Hashem and can produce water, so to the
Jewish people should recognize that their desires were given to them by Hashem.
They just have to channel them. We are not a religion or a people that are
meant to be hidden away in clouds of glory and thrown out of yeshiva the second
that we realize some desire burning inside of us. We are coming to the land of
Israel where we are meant to plant, grow, make falafels, invent waze and
mobileye and find the cure to cancer. We are meant to live in this world and
eat delicious, grapes, pomegranates, olives and watermelons as we watch milk
and honey flow and appreciate Hashem in all of it. Our desires are holy. They
just need to be talked to and directed in the service of Hashem as the mouth of
the well was meant to tell us,.
Finally we come to good ol’ Bilam; the man who could just not get
enough honor in life. He is the prophet of the non-jews, our sages tell us,
that is on the caliber of Moshe. But he needs Balak to honor him. It’s not
about ‘all of the money in Balak’s house’ as he claims. It’s about the honor and
glory of taking down the Jews. It’s about, even if Hashem says I shouldn’t go
and curse the Jews, but maybe I’ll change His mind. Then I really will be the
greatest prophet. The answer to that desire came from the donkey. The limo that
he rode in on, that he thought was transporting him to glory, opened up its
mouth as well. It showed him that he was heading down the wrong highway. He was
smashing into a wall with an angel of death ready to chop off his head.
Do you know people like that? The pursuit of fame, glory, tweets,
like and honor is what drives them? Are they your president? Prime Minister? Or
are they me and you that post silly things and waiting to get a smiley emoji
back that tells me
“Wow! They think I’m funny. Look how many thumbs up I got, how
many “hits” I have.
That’s not what coming to the land of Israel was meant to be
about. It wasn’t about bringing out our honor and pride to the rest of the
world because we are the best, smartest, strongest and coolest people in the
world. That’s just the donkey talking. We’re coming into the land to create
that home for Hashem.
We are told that Mashiach and the redemption of Hashem will come
with the blink of an eye. On Erev Shabbos as we approach that moment when we
enter back into the garden of Hashem, it is no wonder that we are rushed and
hurried. The redemption is around the corner. We have been waiting 5782 years
for that return. Hashem has been waiting as well. Perhaps it is that excitement
that the waiting is almost over that causes that last minute hurry. I don’t
know. It could be. Or not. Either way, it’s almost Shabbos and I have to get
into the shower. Shabbos is coming! May it be the final yom shekulo Shabbos-
the day and time when it will only be shabbos that we have been waiting
for.
Have an honored, restful Shabbos
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
**************
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last week's Parsha
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
““Shabbes hot der rosheh in gehenem oich
ru...”- On the Sabbath, even the wicked in hell have rest.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE VIDEO OF THE
WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/yedid-nefesh
- BRAND NEW
RABBI SCHWARTZ COMPOSITION THIS WEEK- listen to my newest song arranged and
sung by Dovid Lowy! Use it this Shalosh Seudos and every one from now on and
get extra Rabbi Schwartz points…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kau1dpulVbM
– Have you ever
heard Shlomo Carlebach’s Ma Tovu niggun… A hidden classic from this week’s
parsha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5xn06LxDYo -Gad Elbaz new video a present for Shabbos
with Meir Kay… Interesting… ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBQ0ddt_0mk -Only listen to this if you like Cantorial choir music. It’s
Lewndowsky- whoever that is Ma Tovu composition sung in Basel from 1929!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twlR38_dx38
-And check of course Shwekey’s ma ma ma ma…
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION
OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
2) Kurkar rock can be found in Israel in the ____________ region.
The way it is
formed is from
A) Fossilized sand that after a lengthy process
becomes hardened solid rock
B) Rocks from streams that over time mold
together and form hardened rock
C) minerals that join together to rock particles
and become one solid rock
D) formerly sand dunes it is sand stone that is
formed through sediment.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS
CONNECTION OF THE WEEK
The day of Blessing- Parshat Balak – We all know and feel the blessing
of Shabbos. Hashem blessed the day and made it holy, we say when we make
Kiddush each week. It is a day that is above all other days. The Nesivos Sholom
notes that the day is so holy and blessed that curse cannot fall on this day.
It’s why, he suggests, that although Bilaam tries to curse the Jews and
mentions so many things such as the three holidays and all of the sins that we
did, yet he doesn’t mention Shabbos at all. Because Shabbos can’t be cursed.
Interestingly enough, in that way the Jewish people Hashem tells
him also can’t be cursed. Ki Baruch hu- for we are blessed. The function of the
Jewish people is to reveal Hashem down here in this world. To raise up the
ground and land from the lowest point and make it a dwelling place for the
Shechina. The Magid of Mezeritch
explains the verse malah ha’aretz kinyanecha- the land is full of the
acquisitions of Hashem, that our job is to reveal that. We are here to take all
the physical in the land and uplift it in the service of Hashem.
Bilaam and Balak wanted to “drive us out of the land”. They
wanted to prevent us from accomplishing that goal. But Hashem told them that
they couldn’t do that. There is Shabbos in the world, that tells the world that
Hashem’s presence is here each week. We uplift Hashem with all of the
delicacies in honor of His kingship on Shabbos. And it is for that reason that
it is a day when no curse can fall. It’s one big blessing of Shabbos.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES
AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Ovadia 724
BC –This week we introduce a new prophet,
that was a student of Eliyahu Ha’Navi the prophet Ovadia-or as I
tell my tourists the prophet with my favorite English name- Obadaya. I just
love saying it Ohhh Badai yaahh… Sounds
cool right? Well he was pretty cool. He is in fact the Navi with the shortest
prophecy that is part of Tanach. Just one chapter and 21 verses. In fact we
read his entire book for the haftorah of Parshat Va’Yishlach. We read it that
week because that is the story of Esau and Yaakov’s meeting and
Ovadiah is a descendant of Esau or an Edomite convert as chazal say it.
Our sages
point out that was said about Ovadiah was even greater than about
Avraham. For where it says that Avraham was god-fearing it says Ovadia
was very god-fearing. He lived in the house of Achav and Izevel
and yet with all that he withstood the test and even went out of his way to
rescue and hide 100 prophets that Achav and Izevel had tried to
kill. Sometimes when I go to Yad Vashem or the Musuem of the Friends
of Zion in Yerushalayim where you learn about the gentiles that hid
Jews. Well here we have this Edomite convert that did the same at great
risk to himself. And that makes him even greater than Avraham Avinu!
There are some
that suggest that he rather lived in a later period as much of his prophecy is
similar to Yirmiyahu’s and more related to that era. But we only have
our sages to rely upon. His burial place has quite a few sources. Some place
him in Kfar Chittin near Tiverya, others in the Shomron.
However the most verified grave interestingly enough is in the upper Galil near
the ancient synagogue of Baram. In fact right near that grave there is
caves where tradition has it he actually his those prophets. Cool!
Well in our
story Ovadiah is sent by Achav to help find water for the
animals. Lo and behold he bumps into Eliyahu Ha’Navi and bows down to
him in shock. Eliyahu then tells him to go tell Achav that he’s here and
Ovadiah gets nervous by this order. Eliyahu is after all the most wanted
terrorist in Israel. Three years there is no rain because of this man. The
country is starving. There’s not a post office that doesn’t have his picture.
He’s Osama Bin Laden. How can I tell Achav “Hey, y’know who I bumped
into today..?” He’ll kill me.
Eliyahu tells Ovadiah
not to fear. All will be well. Tell Achav I’ll be waiting right here for
him. And he waits. Next week we continue with the faceoff.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE HURRIED
JOKES OF THE WEEK
Rabbi What
do you call a South American girl who's always in a hurry? Urgent Tina
There’s a
special type of people who are always in a hurry. They are called Rushians.
Why was
Batman in a hurry? He had to go to the Batroom.
What did the
doctor say to the short guy in a hurry? You're going to have to be a little
patient
Berel and
his wife walked into a dentist's office. Berel quickly says to the dentist,
"Doctor, I'm in one heck of a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out
in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and
just pull the tooth and be done with it. I don't have time to wait for the
anesthetic to work!"
The dentist
thought to himself, "My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking
me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain."
So the
dentist asked him, "Which tooth is it, sir?"
Berel turned
to his wife and said, "Open your mouth, Honey, and show the doctor
which tooth hurts.
Yankel calls
the doctor and said, “Hurry! My wife’s going into labour! What must I do?”
The doctor said, “is this her first child?”
“No” says the very overwhelmed Yankel says,“this is her
husband!”
A wife was
making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst
into the kitchen. ‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more
butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN
THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE
BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER
listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget
to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’
The wife
stared at him. “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know
how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband
calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m
driving.”
A young
lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential
clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he
immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it, making belief he was
actually talking to someone. "I'm sorry, but my caseload is so
tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least
a month. I'll have to get back to you then." He then turned to the man
who had just walked in, and said, "Now, what can I do for you? Make
sure to do this fast, as I am in a mad rush, as you can see from the endless
telephone calls of clients."
"Nothing,"
replied the man. "I'm here to
hook up your phone.”
Three
hijacked passengers, an American, A Frenchman and an Israeli were captured by
ISIS and were about to face a firing squad. Before their execution they were
asked what they would like to eat for their last meal. The American prisoner
asked for a juicy steak. He was served the steak and then taken away to be
shot.
The French
prisoner requested roast duck. He was served the duck and then taken away to be
shot.
The Israeli
prisoner asked for strawberries. “Strawberries?” asked the terrorists. “But
they’re out of season!”
It’s
okay,” said the Israeli. “I’ll wait….
********************************
Oops messed up again last weeks question I forgot to give the
answer to… if you remember the question was which gate is on the Western side
of the old city of Jerusalem. I got it right of course. The answer was the
Jaffa gate. Part 2 of the question is what the significance of it’s location
was and of course once you know which gate is was the answer is quite easy.
It’s of course the crossroads of a major intersection. The road leading West to
Jaffa and down south to Chevron all come towards Jerusalem that way. So the
first answer on this 2020 exam was right.
This week’s answer is
Answer
is D – Really all you have to know for this answer is that
Kurkar is soft and then the answer is obviously D. Because all of the other
ones are hard stone. Yet, I happened to have known that without that. I don’t
know why I remember that Kurkar is along the Northern coastline, like the
Chadeira area. It’s that nice beach stone, and of course it all used to be
swamp land of there. So the first 2 questions right and I’m off to a good start
making the score Schwartz 2 and 0 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on
this exam.
