Karmiel

Karmiel
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Showing posts with label chanania. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chanania. Show all posts

Friday, October 31, 2025

Lot and Found- Parshat Lech Lecha 2025 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

October 31st 6 2025 -Volume 15 Issue 9th of Cheshvan 5786


Parshat Lech Lecha

 Lot and Found

 

Disclaimer: Any similarities between the children of any biblical figures mentioned in this E-Mail and members of my family is purely a figment of the imagination- except I've got a bit of Avraham and Aliza's kind of like Sarah Immeinu.

 

Avram was getting nervous. What was going to be? He had a good life. Certainly not an easy one, but a meaningful one, that's for sure. It wasn't easy taking on the entire world. His Dad would've loved for him to join him in the successful family business. Meco Idols, but it just wasn't for him. He couldn't see himself sitting farshtunkeheh metal idols his father had just made to a bunch of goyim all day. He wanted something more meaningful. So he found Hashem, and built a lifetime out of teaching His Torah to the world.

 

 Sure it meant a lot of traveling. That's what happened when you enter the Jewish non-prophet world. Because he really wasn't a prophet yet. Hashem never even appeared to him. But he knew it was right and the world was finally coming along. His He was making it. Hashem was on the page for millions. His "God Find Me" campaign was taking off. His Godsapp status was hot. He had tons of followers. Sure he wished that some would sponsor his weekly E-Mails, besides just reading them and jumping to the jokes on the bottom. But it was never about the money for him. Hashem would provide and had not only taken care of him, but he made him fabulously successful as well.

 

His shul was packed each Shabbos. His community was growing. His wife has plenty of friends, help, and cleaning ladies. Yeah, they still lived in that tent that everyone and their brother and camel could just pop into. But that's why they built it with doors on all sides. It's why they didn't live in a fancy house that people would be intimidated by. Yeah sure Sarah, still made them take off their shoes when they came in, but that was more because of the sand on their feet that they worshiped rather than the new rugs and carpets. At least that's what she said…So things were good for the most part. The only question that kept him up at nights though, was what would be after he was gone.

 

Who would carry on the family business? Who would make sure the world knew about Hashem? Who would bring his politically incorrect messages to the next generation and teach them that all of the other religions in the world are baloney, stupidity and smell like camel poop. That there was One God. That He loved them. That He was always there for them. And that the greatest thing in the world was to be close to Him. Sure, he made up lots of great songs that he hoped would have some staying power in the next generation. Od yoter tov was really hot, Thank You Hashem was getting a bit old, but his Mimkomcha was timeless and that neeii neeii neiii trend of wordless songs that just go on and on was something that would have lasting power. It was like that chulent thing his wife came up with. That was never going out. People were even eating it Thursday night and leftovers on Sunday. But without someone to keep up the legacy, Avraham was scared that the movement would die. Hashem would be forgotten.

 

All that would be left would be a bunch of godless people sitting around a bonfire in a place called Uman eating chulent, smoking weed, stuttering na na nam names of dead Rabbis and dancing euphorically in drug induced circles. Even worse they might be sitting in yeshiva miserably reading all those scrolls and laws He divined about oxen goring, lost talises and levirate marriages (whatever that meant) and just waiting to get out to the streets and protest something, forgetting that they have a Father in heaven that loves them, and life is about being close and having a relationship with Him rather than just reading His "Most Enjoyable Book" series, as entertaining and inspiring as it is. That wasn't a bright future. That wouldn't bring Mashiach. Avraham needed someone to take over, and Hashem hadn't blessed him or Sarah with any kids.

 

Now the truth is although he didn't have any biological kids, yet… He always added on that "yet", because he knew that miracles happen, and he knew there was no yiush ba'olam klal- a yid never breaks or gives up hope. He even made up a song about that. So yes, despite his age he knew it was still possible, but in the meantime just in case that wasn't in the cards, he did start to consider his options and he had two not so bad ones in front of him. First of all he had his nephew Lot. I mean he was a good kid. He was his adopted child. The son he never had.

 

He had taken him in when he was an orphan and his father was killed. Terrible story, he was chopped up and burnt in an oven, by a real wicked enemy that still was around, called Nimrod. Avram miraculously was saved, but his brother was killed. And this was his kid. And he was a good kid. He had potential. Avraham taught him everything he knew and he pretty much was holding his own already. He heard that people even needed protekzia to get into his shiur. He had lots of shepherds. He was grazing the land and teaching them about Eretz Yisrael. Perhaps even a bit more passionately then Avram himself. He remembers when they had to leave Israel to go to shmutz la'aretz to raise some money to put food on their table because of that whole famine thing, back in the old days, before he made it big. They went from inn to inn and owed money wherever they went. But Lot just came along. He kept quiet. Even though he could've sold them out. Even there by Pharaoh's house. Lot kept his mouth shut. He stayed by Avram's side. He was loyal. He would give his life for chesed, just like his uncle. He was good people. Maybe he could take over the business. He could be the next Avraham.

 

Yet, Avraham had his concerns as well. See there was that drinking thing, that Lot's been hitting the bottle a bit lately. Which is kind of strange. Sure a few l'chaims here and there never hurt anyone. How does that thing go again about an "Arak a day keeps the bloodletter away". But still too often he's been finding him out cold and not even knowing who he's sleeping with. As well Avraham was pretty concerned about the new crowd he's been hanging with. His shepherds have been moving on to those Cannani hilltops and grazing there, despite the fact that they didn't belong to Avram yet. He's been hanging out with some of those non friendly types out in the kibbutzim by Sodom. Sure he probably went there to be "mikarev" them, to bring them close to Hashem. But Avram wasn't sure Lot was up for the task. He was a bit too young and susceptible for that smartphone he was walking around with and posting on social media. Yeah, Sodom needed a Chabad house, but did Lot have what it takes to not get sucked into their sick, depraved tzadik-less world?

 

Perhaps even more concerning to Avram was Lot's kids. His two oldest daughters certainly were problematic. Avram was pretty sure that they would get sucked into that world over there. Nobody had kosher phones in Sodom. Most of the people there were pretty self-absorbed. Many of them even thought they could create their own deep state and country that would be separate from everyone else. They'd live with their Sodomite kings and friends, sure they would be under the domination of that Nimrod guy, who had killed their grandfather, but the people in Sodom were already rebelling against him. There was a movement for an independent Sodomite state there in the Jordan Valley. Who needed Avram and his old fashioned ways about a God that created the world once upon a time. The kidmo shel Olam- the one that came before the world started and created it with a purpose. They wanted to move forward. Progress. Not kedem- not before.

 

Yeah, those two older daughters and their boyfriends were a problem. Even more concerning were those two other daughters of his. Avram saw something special in them. Like a pearl that was hiding in the dust, like a walnut buried in some camel poop. And Avram was scared that there in Sodom they would lose it all. That Lot wasn't ready to make it on his own. That Avram's legacy and the future of mankind would be lost if Lot left yeshiva and tried to strike it on his own. But what could he do? We can raise our children. We can provide them with everything they need. But at the end of the day, they have to spread their own wings. They have their own journey. They have to find their own paths. Avram and Sarah's job is just to continue to always be there for them. To never give up hope and to keep davening that one day they'll get it and come home.

 

The commentaries tell us that perhaps what drew Lot to "leave the derech" or at least the path of Avram, was that he was perhaps too spoiled. There is really only one verse that gives us any insight into Lot's change. Into what made him leave his yeshiva education, the Torah and beauty and closeness of life with Avram and decide to find his own path.



And also Lot who walked with Avram had sheep, cattle and tents. And the land couldn’t sustain them to dwell together.

 

 What changed for Lot is that he won the Lott-to. He made lots of money really quick and he thought he was a big boy now and could do what he wants.

 

 How did he make his money? It was back in that Corona plague Hashem brought in Egypt when they ran away broke and penniless over there. Miraculously Hashem protected Sarah who was kidnapped there. And Pharaoh paid them all off to leave quietly. And Lot saw blessing. Lots and lots of blessing. His wealth exploded. He was taking out fancy penthouse apartments in Jerusalem over Sukkos and paying exorbitant amounts of money for a tour guide there. Sure he gave lots of charity. But with that came a sense of entitlement. A desire to do something bigger with that new found wealth. To strike it off on his own away from Avram. To build his own little empire that might even be bigger than Avram's. To move out to the city that was rebelling against Nimrod, rather than just passively live in a tent, like Avram did without ever taking revenge against the man who threw his father into a furnace.

 

The Torah and kindness and schnitzel and Shabbos meals that Avram provided for everyone was all fine and good. But it was old school. It was time to move out to the kibbutzim, settle the land, rebel against the enemies, even if it meant sacrificing some of the spiritual benefits of living in the proximity of Avram and his Torah. Hey, Hashem gave him money for a reason. There was no room for Avram's way of life and Lot's worldview in the small grazing hills around Chevron, Bnai Brak, Jerusalem, Lakewood or Boro Park. The shetachim were calling him. It was time to move out to the Five Towns of Sodom and Amora. To Jackson. To Teaneck. And thus he became a Teaneck shenishba. And Avraham was childless once again.

 

"Avram dwelled in Canaan, and Lot was far away in "with his tent until Canaan". It's a fascinating verse. A verse that tells us something about Lot and about hope. He had left… yet he still had tents and breadcrumbs back to Avram. There was still a lifeline left.

 

It is at that moment when things looked so bleak for Avram, that Hashem appears to him. It's the first time that He tells him that he will have Eretz Yisrael. That he will have children. That there is a bright future awaiting. He has to do just two things. Lift up his eyes and walk. Don't look down. Look up. Don't look at what you think you lost, but rather at the future you can and will have. A future that you couldn't even dream would happen awaits you. Your job is to just keep walking. Step by step. Day by day. Take a look at the world and watch. A glorious future you couldn't even imagine is about to unfold.

 

And whadaya know? It does. All of a sudden there is a war. Nimrod that old enemy who Avram never got revenge from. That old nemesis who had built the tower of Bavel. Who had killed his brother. Who had waged war against Hashem and thrown Avram in the furnace and forced Avram to flee and establish a new home raised his ugly murderous kaffiyeh wearing head again. He always does. He launched an attack burns, destroys, pillages. He doesn't differentiate between Jew or non-jew either. They're all his enemy. The entire West Bankian world too. But then he gets his prize. He takes a hostage. He takes Lot "v'eis rechusho ben achi Avram"- and his possessions, then son of the brother of Avram. It's a strange pasuk we'll talk about it in a second…

 

This is the break Avram was waiting for. The ceasefire with Nimrod that held until now was over. Avram leaps to action. He takes with him 318 men, which is a strange number, yet Rashi quotes the Midrash that it was in fact Eliezer his servant whose name in gematria equals 318. According the the Targum Yonasan Ben Uziel Eliezer in fact was the son of Nimrod. Cool! It was like one of those Luke kills Darth Vader moments.  Lot is home. Nimrod is dead. Hashem rules forever the entire world announces.

 

We are even introduced to Yerushalayim for the first time in the Torah. As the Gaon of Vilna teaches us the first time something is mentioned in the Torah is the secret of its essence. Yerushalayim appears when the hostages come home after the war. When we don't give up on our children that may have moved to Sodom. That we give our lives and fight the world for them. When we unabashedly tell that same Sodomite world afterwards that we don't need a penny from them. Not their guns, their missiles, their planes, their tanks, their votes in the United Nations, or their rallies support or Universities. We don't want or need you saying that you made Avram great again. That's a desecration of Hashem's name. We raise our hands to the Master of the Universe, of heaven and earth. That's when Jerusalem brings out the wine and the sacrifices. That's when we the prophecy begins to be fulfilled.

 

Lot was not that son of Avram, Hashem tells us in this parsha later on, that will inherit him. Next week, we'll talk about option B. Yishmael and option C. Yitzchak. Yet before we get to them, we need to go through Lot first. Because Lot has the spirit of Mashiach inside of him. His union with his daughters will produce Amon and Moav. Buried in Amon and Moav's DNA will be the spark of Rus and Dovid Ha'Melech and Naama Ha'Amonit the wife of Shlomo Ha'Melech.  Before we get to Yerushalyim we need to rescue the soul of Mashiach.

 

Even more fascinating is the AriZ"l tells us that "Rechusho Ben Achi avram" is an acronym for Rava, the great Talmudic scholar, that is in fact the one that teaches us a scholar is compared to a walnut, that even it falls in the dirt, the nut inside always stays pure (Chagiga 15: for those Oraysa learners). The Shvilei Pinchas notes that Rava is the one as well that teaches us that there is a mitzva to drink on Purim. To use that wine that Lot drank to reveal the spark of redemption and elevate it. He's the one that teaches us that sometimes we have to violate the Torah to uphold it. That the sparks of holiness can come out of the darkest and seemingly unlikely and least spiritual looking places. He is the one that teaches us that when Dovid Hamelech sings to Hashem "pitachta i'mosaroi- that Hashem has opened up my bonds. That he is referring to the DNA strands that were hidden in Lot of Amon and Moav that Hashem rescued and released.

 

Disclaimer number 2: Any similarities between the ancient stories of the Torah and what's happening in our world today are not figments of your imagination. Binu shnos dor v'dor- know what happens in all generations. Ma'asei avos siman la'banim- the stories of our ancestors are the sign and omen for us, their children today. The period of Mashiach, of Yerushalayim, is the return of the children to their fathers and the fathers to their children. It's of sparks of holiness coming out of released hostages. It's from children who may seem the most unlikely. It's from students of Avraham picking up swords and wiping out our enemies; the enemies of Hashem. It's not a story of then. It's ba'yamim ha'heim ba'zman ha'zeh. It's us today.


 Have a magnificent marvelous Shabbos,

************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Oib di velt vet verren oisgelaizt, iz es nor in zechus fun kinder."- If the world will ever be redeemed, it will be only through the merit of children.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

Antiochus IV Epiphanes belonged to the ________ dynasty

Who was the Roman general who put an end to the independence of the Hasmonean

kingdom in the Land of Israel?

 

A. Julius Caesar

B. Pompeius (Pompey)

C. Augustus

D. Antonius


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://on.soundcloud.com/cEeqiAvnM3Ine5wZOf    – In honor of the parsha My Latest Composition and the best most fun song you will sing this Shabbos and every parshat Noach at least with your kids at your meal. Yona Motza! Great arrangements and vocals by Dovid Lowy and you MUSt Listen until the very shticky ending!

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/kum    – Hashem promises and commands Avraham to walk and inherit the land. Our sages tell us that whoever walks four steps in Israel is guaranteed a portion in the world to come. This became the words and song for all my hikes.

 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Yl1NoOE994  - Yonatan Razel and Shulem Lemmer- what a combination beautiful song One more Dance…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbD-lM6tfc8  – Hanan Ben Ari's latest "Lo Hameshuga Ha'yechidi- not the only crazy one

…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2gBJ58drtg –In honor of Mashiv Haruach October Rain with Shulem


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


The Firey Furnace- 582 BC – The stage is set. Nevuchadnezzar has called all of his vassal kings and leaders to the big event revealing his glorious statue to himself. Chananya, Mishael and Azarya (CMA) refuse to bow while every one else does. They remain standing upright. They did this even though they knew from the prophet Yechezkel that Hashem wouldn't perform a miracle for them. Yet, they would not be part of a Chilul Hashem, they wouldn't even flee and hide. They wanted the world to know that there was one God in Israel, and they would stand up and even sacrifice their lives for his honor and rather than allow a desecration of His name to take place without anyone protesting.

 

There's a march yesterday in Jerusalem. One of the songs they sing is that we will go in the path of the Torah even in fire and water. Ba'eish u'ba'mayim. It's a nice song… but would they do what these guys did?

 

They were brought before Nevuchadnezzar. He threated them with a fiery furnace if they don't bow. They refused and he had it heated up. Perhaps the nicest remains of a furnace that I know of is in Tel Shilo, ancient Shilo. There you can see a furnace which is basically a big large pit that is in the ground. On the bottom it has all the wood. And on the top there are walls and holes for the smoke to go out, and a floor and shelves where they would make earthenware pots in it. This is a small furnace certainly compared to the one Nevuchadnezzar had prepared for them. But you get the basic idea.

 

The Midrash tells us many miracles that happened to them. The first is that Nevuchadnezzar had it heated up to 7 times the usual amount. It was so hot that soldiers were killed from the sparks that came out of it when they threw them bound together in. The next miracle was that Hashem wanted this to be seen by everyone. So he worked it out that the furnace floated up from the ground. The walls on the side fell off so that everyone could witness it. The plaster that was around the furnace burnt up and the heat killed the soldiers that surrounded it. The statue itself turned its face from them and four kings and their jolly men that snitched to Nevuchadnezzar on them were killed as well.

 

Inside however they seemed to be doing fine. In fact, the verses tell us that Nevuchadnezzar.  looked inside and saw them walking around with a fourth person, an angel sent to untie them and save them. His brain exploded from this great miracle. He immediately began to praise Hashem. He praised them. He elevated them in his government and he issued decrees that no one was ever allowed to speak bad about the God of Israel again. If they did then they would be chopped up into little pieces and their houses would become trash heaps. That's pretty radical, from the guy that destroyed the Temple not so long before…

 

Yet that wasn't enough for Nevuchadnezzar. He continues his mission to praise Hashem. He has dreams interpretations. It's a fascinating relationship this king and murderer has with Hashem and the Jewish people. It's almost reminiscent of Pharaoh. It seems part of this whole story of ours is that the evil doers need to recognize Hashem. For that to happen we need heroes that will be willing to do everything for His honor. If we don't walk through fire and water, why should they believe us?

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE LOTTO JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

At breakfast, Yankel asked his wife “What would you do I if won the lottery?”

She replied, “I’d take half, and then leave you.”

“Great,” he said “I won $12 yesterday. Here’s $6. Stay in touch.” 

 

I won $1M in the lottery. And as I promised to Hashem before hand if I won. I gave a quarter of it to charity, and put the other $999,999.75 in the bank.

 

My friend Berel won a million dollars the other day so I asked him what will he do with his winnings?

Berel  said "Probably pay off my credit card debt".

I said "what about the rest of it?"

Berel said "well I suppose it'll get paid off eventually".

 

I use to do the lottery but then I heard the chances of getting hit by a car on the way to buy it are higher than the chances of winning. I don't know if that's true or not but it was enough for me to stop.

Now i send my mother in law to buy it for me.

 

If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to share it with everyone. Not the money, just going to let you know that I've won.

 

I always wanted to won the lottery, like my father.

Your father won the lottery?

No, but he wanted too.

 

What's the difference between a man arguing with his wife and a man with a lottery ticket? The man with a lottery ticket actually has a chance to win.

 

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!.

 

A reporter asked a man how he felt when he found out that he won the lottery.

"As soon I saw the numbers line up, I knew it was going to be a wife changing experience.

 

Moishie and Shaindy a cute little Meah Shearim family win the lottery...

Shaindy turns to Moishie and  asks “Moishie - what are going to do about all those shnorr letters?

Moishie says “We keep sending them!”


*******************************************

 

The answer to this week”s question is B – Another week another 50/50 I got the first part right. It was fairly easy. Antiochus the "mad man " which was a roman play on the word epiphanes instead of epimanes. Which meant great one. Was the wicked king who made all decrees against Jews that led to the Chanuka story. By the way fun Chanuka fact as we get close to the holiday and the mood. Antiochus's fate was according to book of the Macabees that Hashem punished him with serious bowel problems and worms in his body that pretty much ate him up. He didn’t' give up though and continued to chase and persecute the Jews until he was thrown off a chariot and broken all over dying with a stench that even his guards and servants couldn't get near. That's what should happen to all of our enemies. Part II I got wrong. I didn't have a clue. I mean I knew that it wasn't Anotnius who was after the Temple destroyed as well as Caesar. Wasn't sure about the rest. I went with Augustus, but the right answer was Pompey. Oh well.. So half and half and thus the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having a 4 point and the MOT having 1 point on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

Friday, March 21, 2025

Post Purim Parsha Passion Parah Preparation- Parshat Vayakhel / Parah 2025 5785

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

March 21st 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 21 21st of Adar 5785

 Parshat Vayakhel / Parah

 Post-Purim-Parsha-Passion-Parah-Preparation

There’s really nothing like Purim. I know it’s over already, but I’m still flying high. Especially this past year with the whole 3-day Purim thing here in Eretz Yisrael. It’s just a weekend of fun of singing, of drinking and most of all for me of loving, laughing and giving. All Jewish holidays are fun and special. But Purim brings out the neshoma. The soul of the Jew emanates on all levels. It doesn’t make a difference if you’re religious or not, sefardi or Ashkenazi, Israeli or American. Old or young, male or female. Purim is for everyone. There’s really only one criterion to celebrate Purim, you just have to like to be happy.

Now admittedly, there are people, my wife being one of them that are not big fans of the holiday. I don’t think that has so much to do with not wanting to be happy, rather I believe it’s more to do with having spent too many Purims being busy cleaning up after drunk yeshiva guys and husband jumping up and down on furniture and making a lot of noise, preventing her from experiencing that true inner happiness of the day from being realized. I get that. Alhough I assured her that a shot or two might make it easier for her to make it through the day and even a little happy as well. But she’s more the take-a-nap-to-fulfill-the-ad-d’lo-yada obligation type. And if she’s happy not knowing… so am I.I drink enough for both of us anyways…

 Yet with Purim over, we turn to the next upcoming holiday, In case your wife hasn’t informed you yet, Pesach is around the corner. Only we Jews, or a God with a real sense of humor, would make a holiday where you can’t have any chametz in your home just a few weeks after a holiday when everyone in your neighborhood brought you boxes and boxes of cakes, cookies, hamantash and every other conceivable pastry and bread. In another three weeks those overflowing cupboards will have only matzos and potatoes in them. Our mission to prepare for the Redemption is to finish it all up. To leave Egypt with only matza on our backs. If you can do that, you’re redeemed. You can become the nation that gets the Torah on Sinai. If you can’t… then stay in Egypt or America with their meat boards and croissants. You’re not worthy of being redeemed. So avoda number one for these intermediate weeks is to eat a lot of nosh. Like the quail that Hashem sent us when we left Egypt and complained, it should be coming out of your nose and ears and you should be begging for a piece of matza.

 Avoda number 2 for Pesach is to start getting ready to come to the Bais Ha’Mikdash. Since it’s not yet built though, part of that job will be to brush up on some of your construction skills. It’s time to get on that plaid lumberman shirt of yours. We’ve got a Temple to build.

 Now, I know that some of you more yeshivish type are hoping for that Bais Ha’Mikdash to come down from heaven, land on that golden pimple that’s desecrating our holiest spot and hopefully smash some of those infidels underneath it. Yet it certainly seems that there is a mitzva to build the Temple ourselves as well. Some commentaries explain the conflicting midrashim of its building, by explaining that we start the work and Hashem will finish it up, Alternatively they explain that Mashiach has to come first and tell us where it will go, but we will do the building.

 Reb Chayim Kanievsky fascinatingly enough explains that the Mikdash from Shamayim that will come down is only if we don’t merit for Mashiach to come before the final time. Only if that god forbid has to happen, will Hashem have no choice but to send it down from heaven. Yet, if we merit though we can build it ourselves even before then. He therefore explains that’s what we mean when we daven that the Mikdash should be built bi’meheirah bi’yameinu- we are asking that we should merit to build it, rather than the Temple that is already built up in heaven just waiting to land down. We want the one that we will build! That still needs to be built. That’s the one we are davening for! Pretty cool…

 Yet, to be honest, despite my overconfidence in my building skills and abilities due to my early kindergarten years of making Lego houses, although to be more accurate back in my days it was those Lincoln Logs if you’re old enough to remember them, frankly construction was really never one of my strong skills. I don’t think it’s most Jews’ either. We’re more the contractor who outsources to some minimum wage illegal aliens type. Since our days back in Egypt we developed a genetic allergy to hammers, nails and drills. A goy gets a skill saw from his wife for his birthday, a Jew gets a new watch. Most of us don’t even really build Sukkas anymore. We just reuse the one that we had the year before and rearrange the schach or bamboo, or buy a pre-fab one. So the question is if Hashem has a Bais Ha’Mikdash sitting up there anyways, what’s really the point of us having to build one? I could understand that if He was looking for critiques afterwards about how He could’ve done a better job, then hey, we’re really good for that. Jews could always tell Him why He should’ve used this material or that one, or how He should really have put the Menora over there, or how He overpaid for those curtains, because I know a guy that knows a guy that could’ve gotten Him a break. We’re great at that… But the actual building? I mean He should know us better than that… If He was looking for builders, He should’ve chosen the Mexicans.

 Yet the answer is that there is actually something that we can bring to the table that Hashem can’t. I know, He’s a Kol Yachol… and all… and I’m sure if he wanted to He could figure it out as well. Yet, he already figured it out. It’s why He created us. It’s why He chose us. The one thing that we can bring that He really can’t is ourselves. Our neshoma. Our heart. Our passion. Wood, gold, silver, red dye, blue dye, copper brackets and goats’ hair, He’s got enough of. But the glue that holds it all together is our heart and our desire to be with Him and to have Him here with us. The truth is, it’s the glue that holds us together as well.

 This week we read Parshat Va’Yakhel, it’s the 4th parsha- in case you were counting- that discusses the building of the Mishkan. It’s an important topic, it seems. The first two parshiyot, Teruma and Tetzave, are the commands to collect money and the how to build it. Ki Tisa, besides the story of the Golden Calf, as well mentions some vesselsand the oil and incense used to anoint and dedicate it. This week and next’s parsha discuss the actual construction and accounting for all the gifts. There is no other subject that is discussed as extensively in the entire generally ink-thrifty Torah that’s usually very cheap on words. Most non-construction- oriented Jews like myself, whose eyes gloss over on reading these parshiyot know this well. Yet, it’s so essential and perhaps so repeated because Hashem understands that we need to get excited about this. It’s the essence of the world, the Torah, of Creation itself. It’s about the building project that we are soon about to embark upon. So, let’s take a minute to at least start getting in the mode.

 The more kabbalistic seforim, bring down in the name of the ARI”zl that each of these four primary parshiyot correspond to one of the four letters of the name of Hashem, the “yud” and “hei” and “vav” and “hei”. That’s a bit too deep for me. Yet on a simple and basic level the function of the Mishkan/Temple is the revelation of Hashem here in this world. It’s the creation and formation and realization of the joining of heaven and earth. Much like the creation of Man, back in the Garden of Eden and the birth of a baby.

 The first act is the bringing together of all of the parts. That’s Teruma- that’s the gift and uplifting.

 Va’yikchu li Teruma- take for me an uplifting

Ma;eis kol ish asher yidvenu libo- From each man who’s heart donates.

 Those words are very similar to that of the description of a marriage.

Ki yikach ish- when a man takes a woman.

 Hashem wants our heart. That’s what we bring to the table. Donations and commitments to give it all to Him. Yidvenu Libo- We give him our heart, our passion, our love.

 Titzave is the parsha of the connection. The word “tzav” actually means connection. It’s the parsha of the Kohen and his clothing. They are the veins that will transmit the life force of that spirit in the body. The Mishkan itself is the physical body while the Kohen is the ladder up and down by which we connect to Him and Him to us.

 In Ki Tisa that life force is blown into us. It’s Moshe going up the mountain. Like a kallah, a bride on her wedding day. It’s us being uplifted. It’s our heart of those shekalim donations, it’s the umbilical waters of the kiyor, the breath of life of the incense and unfortunately as well it’s the misplaced passion and singing and dancing for the Golden Calf. But it’s singing and dancing nonetheless.

  It’s a bloody and painful parsha, as most births are with Levis killing the sinners of the Golden Calf. Our nation experiences contractions. We tighten up and get smaller, before we expand again on that first Yom Kippur with our atonement, the second Luchos, and the revelation of the 13 attributes of mercy, the Name of Hashem that becomes imprinted upon us and that will always hold us out in the worst situations, bringing us back to where we need to get to. Nine months after that first 17th of Tamuz is right after “Purim”. It’s the 17th of Adar. We’re ready to be born and Mikdash is almost ready to be innaugurated on the first of Nisan. The Shechina is ready to descend.

 Which brings us to this week of Va’Yakhel. The week when we read and Moshe is commanded to bring us together as one. It’s of course a shalom zachor and so the parsha begins with Shabbos. It's bringing us back to Creation. Back to the world that first was. To the time when the Shechina walked amongst us in the garden. Shabbos is the day that we are all waiting for. It’s the day of rest and of blessing. It’s the spark that unites us all. We’re told that on Shabbos we don’t light a fire, because Hashem is that fire on that day. It’s His energy that surrounds us and brings us light and warmth. Our work is done. The Shechina is here. The pasuk telling us,

 Va’yikaleh ha’am mei’havi- and the nation completed bringing, recalls that creation, that first Friday when

 Va’yichulu Hashamayim v’eis ha’aretz- and Hashem completed creating the heaven and earth.

  V’hamlacha haysa dai’yam- and the work was enough. We’ve done our melacha. We’ve brought our part. We’ve given our heart and passion. And we go back to Creation when Hashem finished all His melacha; His work.

 Vi’haya Ha’Mishkan Echad- and the Mishkan became one. It’s like man and woman back in the Garden that became one. The baby is ready to be born. Each person that was nisa’o libo and nadva rucho- that’s heart was uplifted and spirits contributed that were bound with it.

 Va’yavo’u ha’anashim al ha’Nashim- and the men came with the women.

 Kol nediv lev- they each brought their heart, their passion. Their wedding rings and jewelry. It’s a chasuna. It’s a pidyon ha’ben when we all put our jewelry on that pillow of the baby as we redeem him. Is there any other time when Jews throw so much jewelry, then on a pillow with a baby on it, or when the kallah hands out her Jewelry to all her friends before she walks down the aisle…? So much love. So much heart and spirit. For a house is being built, a baby is coming into the world.

 It’s a

Tenufat zahav la’Hashem- a waving and uplifting of that gold to Hashem. The gold that we misplaced and the passion, heart and dancing that we use and sang for those golden calves and false gods. Now they were all here in the Temple. We’re home. The Shechina is home. The eternal Shabbos is ready to be experienced.

 It's not only the weekly parshiyot that are getting us into the mode though. The four supplementary parshiyot that we began reading before Purim as well hearken us to this mission. Shekalim is that heart of our donations. Zachor is the igniting of our national memory; our brain. It’s the eradication of Amalek. It’s the fighting against us our common enemy that is trying to prevent the Name and throne of Hashem from coming together and being complete. It’s the simcha and joy that we experience when we come together to fight against that enemy. When we stand up and stand together side by side with even the Jews that were “outside of the camp” and the “clouds of glory”, because we realize that they are also our brothers and sisters. That Amalek doesn’t care what their religiosity level is. What type of hat or Kippa they wear or don’t. What their political leanings were and who they voted for. Whether they served in the army or not. Amalek, Haman and Purim remind us that we possess the power and we were given the mandate. We can unite. We can become one and reveal the One.

 As we read in the Megilla,

Li’kahel - to gather together and unite. To get to Va’yakhel.

 vi’laamod al nafsham- to understand the essence of our nefesh. To appreciate how precious and holy our souls are. The passion and love that Hashem has implanted in us and is waiting to be brought to Him. Zachor is that bloody parsha of our birth and the contractions that brings us to the world. That lights up our brains.

 Which brings us to Parah. It’s the holy purifying waters. It’s our spiritual amniotic fluids bursting forth and removing the impurity of our exile. It’s mayim chayim, the water of life, like the water of Creation that the world was filled with. It’s the blood colored wine of Purim that has become purified, clear and translucent revealing the spirit of Hashem floating amongst us. It’s the purification of those waters Moshe made us drink after the golden calf. The mother has atoned for its child. The red passionate cow has been directed and humbled into the service of Hashem. His house can be built. We are one with our Creator and Nissan, the parsha of Chodesh, the month of Redemption, has finally arrived. But this time forever.

 On Pesach we have the bris. That covenant. We exit the bloody doorway through those mezuzos. It’s our birth canal. The angel of death doesn’t touch us. It skips over us. We’re being born. Our doorway touches the Almighty’s. Our home is His Home. His first-born has come to the world. His light can now shine forever. His name, now complete, rests on us and within us. The eternal Shabbos has arrived.

 Yes, Purim is over my friends. On Purim, we didn’t light a menora, we didn’t sit in a Sukka, we didn’t blow a shofar. We sang. We danced. We celebrated us. We were omeid al nafsheinu. We found ourselves and our simcha. Our joy at being alive and of revealing and priming up that joy and that heart that we will bring to Hashem. Hashem doesn’t appear in the Megilla. On the last holiday before Pesach, before the first month of our new era, it’s us that had to appear. It’s our heart, soul and passion that had to be revealed. May this Pesach, we finally merit to bring it all back to Him in the Bais Ha’Mikdash rebuilt.

 Have a parah-fect Shabbos!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Gelt iz keilechdik—amol iz es do, amol iz es dort. -  Money is round, it rolls away from you

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

12. The first kibbutz established on the shores of the Dead Sea is ______

 What is the main reason for the Dead Sea’s high salinity?

A. The soil in the Judean Desert area is salty

B. The high temperature causes a high evaporation rate which increases the percentage of

salinity

C. Underground mineral springs in the northern basin flow into the Dead Sea and salt the water

D. Israel and Jordan are pouring brackish byproducts back in from the

Dead Sea Works

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lo-lanu  -   My Lo Lanu, the song sung by Chanania Mishael and Azaria in this week’s Daf Yomi… See column below…

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_DeWoSuGMc    - From Nova to Meah Shearim Barak’s journey… Fascinating…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6CDlzDSHzM   - A Shwekey and Lipa collaboration Kadisha! Wow!!! Beautiful…

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnTuxWPHHck   – For the Rebbe Reb Meilichs Yartzeit… today!! Aderaba classic Green with Abish!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Chananya Mishael V’Azarya- 598 BC – Last week we began to speak about  Daniel/ Hasach having gone into exile to Bavel during the exile of Yehoyakim. Well, being that Hashem always connects this column to timely topics, for those of you that learn Daf Yomi, this week’s blatt talked about three other exilees during this period. None other than Chanania Mishael and Azaria. They were three young men from the tribe of Yehuda who were taken into exile and were raised in the palace of the King. They became vegetarians the Talmud tells us so as not to eat the non-kosher food that they served in the palace. And despite being raised in this non-Jewish environment and not having flayshig chulent for Shabbos were still able maintain their faith.

 

Well one day after a winning some huge battles and seeing his continuing success over conquering Israel, this Babylonian/Iranian leader Nevuchadnezzar decided to celebrate by making a huge idol to himself. He builds this 60 amah high (about 150 feet!)  idol in what is called the Durah Valley. We’re not sure exactly where this is although some suggest it’s near the Durah river not far from the Euphrates. But it is in this valley where the original Tower of Bavel was built and where eventually the prophecy of Yechezkel bringing back to life the dry dead bones of the tribe of Ephraim who left Egypt early will take place. It’s all in the Daf Yomi by the way in Sanhedrin…

 There he has everyone bow down to the idol, but C. M and A. decide that they’re not doing it. What’s fascinating is that this is despite them asking the prophet Yechezkel who tells them that they should in fact bow, and Hashem won’t preform a miracle to save them either. Yet, they figure they could get away with it by mixing themselves in the crowd. And their plan could work, until some pathetic Jews snitch on them and Nevuchadnezzar calls them in and orders them to bow or he chucks them in a firey furnace.We Jews like usual are always are worst enemies….

 They refuse. He chucks them in. It’s shmaltzing hot and the Jews and guards next to them get burnt up but nothing happens to them. The Malach Gavriel himself enters in there with them and cools it off. They chilled in there like they were in an air conditioned apartment in Century Village in Boca Raton (where I am right now…). When they come out Nevuchadnezzar starts to sing praise to Hashem. All the nations of the world do as well and make fun of the goyim that try to destroy us. This is big. This is really really big. The Malach quickly smacks down Nevuchadnezzar because if he continues he will out do even Dovid Ha’Melech in his praise.  And no one wants that…

 But don’t worry there is not silence in the room. For there our sages tell us C.H. and M. sing psalm 115 of Hallel. Lo Lanu Hashem. (you can listen to my song and composition link for it above 😊) . The gentiles bow to silver and gold and gods that do not have eyes or ears and listen. But we believe in Hashem. Yisrael Betach Ba’Hashem. He is our help and our shield.  They continue, with what in our Hallel is the next paragraph. Hashem zicharanu yivareich- Hashem who remembers us we should bless. Lo ha’meisim ye’hallel K-ah. The dead can’t praise Hashem. This song we sing comes from them. It’s said the entire merit of leaving Egypt and the Hallel we recite Seder night is to recall them as well. So many of our brothers and sisters thrown into ovens over the years since then, who have not song that song of redemption of salvation. Yet they went to their deaths with Ani Maamin on their lips. May this Pesach they be resurrected and sing together with us the Hallel forever.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S CONSTRUCTION JOKES OF THE WEEK

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese man are hired at a construction site.

The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the large, muscular, Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."

To the slightly less muscular but still large Italian man, he says, "You're in charge of sweeping."

And to the skinny Chinese man he says, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."

So the foreman goes away for a couple of hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

He replies "I no hava no broom, you saida to the Chinese guy that he wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

The foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

He replied, "Aye, ye did lad, bit ah couldnae git masel' a shuvl! Ye left thon wee Chinese mannie in chairge of supplies, bit ah couldnae fin' him onywhar."

The foreman is really pissed off now and storms off towards the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. As he approaches the mound, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the sand and yells…

"SUPPLIES!"

 Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.

 Berel was sitting there at the construction site on his first day of work listening to Mario, a strong young man bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the Berel and some of the older workmen at the site. After several minutes, Berel had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."

"C’mon Jew, you're on, old man," Mario replied. "Let's see what you got."

Berel reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

 

Yankel and Chaim two construction workers are working on a street. Yankel turns to Chaim and says,

“I don’t want to work anymore, I will act crazy so the manager sends me home early”.

He then proceeds to tie himself by the feet and swings around shouting,

“I’m a lightbulb, I’m a lightbulb!”

Sure enough, the manager tells him to go home.

Chaim, seeing the success his friend had, decided to start packing up his things. The manager asks, “What are you doing? The work isn’t finished yet!”

To which the Chaim responds,

“How am I supposed to see without a lightbulb?”

 Me: I had to quit my construction job because I wasn’t strong enough for the work.

Friend: Did you give them your too weak notice?

 I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there.

 Got a speeding ticket the other day. There was this sign that said "Construction 35mph ahead".I figured, I had four people in the car ...

 A construction contractor buys a 10-foot Italian  Deli submarine sandwich to feed his crew. It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning's work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there's something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4-foot sandwich.

He turns to his crew and asks if anyone snuck in to eat the sandwich. One by one, they all shake their heads and deny any wrongdoing. He's at a loss until one of his guys points out that the company had hired an electrician to do a bit of wiring that morning. "Of course!" the boss exclaims, "he's the subcontractor!"

 

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The answer to this week”s question is A B –  Ok, so according to the correct answer given on the answer sheet I got this one entirely wrong. Although I believe that they are mistaken and I would argue that I’m right. They write that the correct answer is Ein Gedi or Beit Arava but the truth is the correct answer which I would argue is Kalya which was established in 1929. Now to be fair to them it really wasn’t established as a Kibbutz but rather as workers living center or camp for the Dead Sea products. But Beit Ha’arava which is next to it was really that kibbutz and was founded later and certainly Ein Gedi which wasn’t till the 50’s wasn’t till way after that. So I believe that I got that one right.

As well the second part of the question is also a bit tricky. Now it is true that there is a lot of salt there because of the high evaporation rate. It actually is ten times saltier then the yam because of that. Yet, it’s also because the ground and sand of Judean desert maintains that salt because there’s no place for it to flow out to. And thus it sits there and makes the water saltier. Especially if you’re a Torah believer like myself that believes that Hashem made the salt happen when he rained fire and brimstone down on Sodom over there and thus the entire mountains there are all made of salt. Sooo… Although I believe I got them both right. I’ll compromise and make this one a 50/50 with them thus making  the  new score is Rabbi Schwartz 7.5 Ministry of Tourism 4.5 on this exam so far. Oy….