I-Clouds- Parshat Haazinu / Sukkot 2019/ 5780

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

October 11th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 53 12^th  Tishrei 5780

Parshat Haazinu/ Sukkot

I-Clouds

So last week the camera on my iPhone started playing games with me. I was getting “black-screened”; a new term I learned when I started desperately googling solutions. None of them by the way work. I found that there are a few sites with 5 or 7 “easy solutions” to any problem you have with your phone. So you try one and it doesn’t work, the next one doesn’t either. After about an hour or so of their “easy solutions” the last one is download-our-easy-to-use software from fixmyphone.com, or dr.ezfix.com or some other silly name. This will definitely fix your problem. You download this software and you use it and then they tell you that you have to buy it for just 29.95 or you can get the special life time warranty version for 49.99.  At this point they are hoping they wore you out enough to just buy the stupid software. I wouldn’t know if it fixes it or not. I was just too angry to give them a penny or shekel after wasting all my time. So my phone is still broken.

Now this is a problem for me. I use my camera on my phone a lot. I like to take pictures of my tourists for them. It helps me remember them as well. I know everyone remembers me. They stop me in the street all the time when they come back here. But Thank God I take so many people it is really hard to keep track. So I need some pictures. As well I find a camera is a good tool to keep kvetchy kids quiet. See if they are making a lot of noise whining, all I have to do is point the camera at them and tell them that they are being videoed and the “kvetchy-kid-in-the- back-seat-of-the-car” may be the next big viral hit. All of a sudden the kvetching stops, the fighting with their siblings is over, they even start to smile.

It’s not only my camera that is messed up. It’s my flashlight as well. Which is also pretty essential when I take people into bunkers or caves to shine some light. Or even too look under things to find the stuff that my grandson may have hidden from me. Yeah I need this thing fixed.

Now interestingly enough the selfie function works and the camera itself even works sometimes when I take a picture in facetime. But I’m not a big selfie person. I really haven’t mastered the art yet of stretching my arm all the way out and getting everyone including myself in the frame. Those pictures are usually slanted at an angle and my face is all squirreled up trying to get my big cheeks into the picture. As well I don’t really facetime much either. I don’t really understand why anyone would? What happened to the good old days when I we can talk on the phone and I can be writing my E-Mail while saying uhh huhh every few minutes so you think I’m paying attention to you? Video chats are putting me behind schedule.

So this camera thing has been on my mind all week. I don’t want to do an “update”, although I think I have no choice. I think the updates just break your phone. It’s a scam from Apple to stick bugs in your phone that leave you no choice but to buy their newest model. But I know if I take it into a store they will probably do the update thing anyways, so I’m pretty much messed up.

Now although this was taking up a lot of my thoughts the past few days. There was one day I didn’t think about it at all. Which is really a shame. See this past Tuesday evening and Wednesday were Yom Kippur. I was in shul and talking to Hashem all day long. I asked Him for a lot of big deal things. I asked Him to seal me in the book of long life. I asked Him to forgive a really really huuuuge (as Donald Trump would say) laundry list of sins. I asked Him to make me holier. To heal a lot of people that need a real refuah shlaima. I asked Him to provide me with parnassa//livelihood. Actually I asked that for a lot of people. I asked that my children should be well. They should continue to give me nachas. Give us nachas. I davened for my wife. That the two of us should have continued peace and harmony and grow closer and appreciate each other more and more each day. I davened for my parents that I should finally perhaps give them some nachas. That they should live long and be well. Yeah. It was a busy day. But after the fast was over and I pulled out my phone, I realized that I forgot to ask Hashem to fix the camera on my phone. In fact, I realized that I didn’t even think about this huge “black screen” camera crisis once. What a shame.  I’m sure He could’ve fixed it in no time. Now how could I have left that out?

The truth is that as I looked at this silly little candy bar shaped cube of wires and screen that dominates my life, I realized how unimportant it really is in the big picture (pun intended) of life. When I sat before Hashem and davened for hours, really hours and hours, I tried to think of everything and everyone that was and is important. All of my requests all of my hopes and wishes. Even small petty ones and even prayers for people that I only marginally know or some I may not even know personally. But this little phone that I certainly spend more time with then probably anything else in the world. It’s my communication device, my GPS, my music, my shiurim, my email, my information, my whatsapp groups, my news source. But you know what? Didn’t think about it or pray for it once. Maybe it’s not so important after-all. Maybe its time I start spending more time realizing all of those other priorities that I davened so hard to receive. Maybe I leave my phone broken for a little bit longer…

Well the good news is that Hashem in His ultimate wisdom has given us the holiday of Sukkos this week. It’s like really crazy the way it falls out. There’s really no breathing time. We jumped from Shabbos right into Rosh Hashana and then right after Tzom Gedalia it was almost Shabbos again, and then before you know it Yom Kippur and now Shabbos and then Sunday night we’re already in our Sukkah. Every other day feels like it’s a Sunday after a Shabbos but it’s also a Thrusday right before Shabbos. We are slamming out those holidays. Slamming out those iphone-free days to focus on what should really be important to us. Perhaps to give us a sense and appreciation and a little snapshot into what life really should be like. What we need to get into focus.

We leave our houses. Sort of… I mean we still go back in to use the microwave, to check our computer, to longue on the couch, for those of us that have a hard time sleeping with bugs, on cots or mattresses on the floor or pretty much anywhere outside of our own cushy American matressed beds then we’re pretty much inside every night as well. But at least we convince ourselves that we have left our house and moved into our Sukka. When we sit in the Sukka the Torah tells us we are meant to remember the Sukkas that we were in when we left Egypt a really long time ago. Even before cell phones. According to some of our sages, you may not even fulfill your obligation if you don’t remember this. (see lomdus of the week below). Yet there are two opinions of what those Sukkas that we have to remember were. Are they the literal huts that we stayed in or are they heavenly Clouds of Glory that Hashem protected us in?

Now I can understand that we should have a holiday to remember the clouds of glory. I mean those were really cool. If one looks in the Midrash (which I recommend doing in order to share these fun ideas with your children) you can see that they were like padded rooms, comfortable carpeting, the perfect temperature either heat or AC whatever you like. They kept out the enemies and all their arrows and missiles just bounced off. They were really amazing. It makes sense to have a holiday to remember Hashem’s generosity. But what’s the point of a holiday to remember the huts we slept in. I’m sure they were not too impressive. Little shanties that we built. No room for anyone. All of us sleeping in the same room and the sun keeps waking me up in the morning and those crickets don’t stop chirping. Why would there be a mitzva to remember those huts?

Reb Moshe Feinstien suggests that really both opinions are correct. We need to remember the great miraculous holy and spiritual clouds of glory that enveloped us for forty years in the wilderness. But we need to remember something else as well. We need to remember that we didn’t have wifi service in those huts that we had. We lived simply. We didn’t have fancy chandeliers- light fixtures as non-hungarians call them today. We didn’t have any amenities that today we can’t picture life without and that a mere 70 -80 years ago our grandparents couldn’t imagine having. We believe that all of these things make our life more complete, more productive, more efficient. But in reality we are living in a generation that wastes more time than anyone before it. We spend hours figuring out which brand of coffee we really want to buy, looking at ingredients and figuring out which one has less chemicals. The best-selling Jewish books today are Cookbooks. I have heard this from a few publishers. We surf the net and have to know everything that happens everywhere immediately. It is insane. We need to remember the Sukkas the simple huts that we lived in.

This is not a mitzva I think that would be easy to fulfill any other time of the year. We are too attached. We are too embedded. We have gotten back to the “real” world that is really mostly just virtual that we exist in the 21^st century. But right after Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashana we can still appreciate how un-real that world really is. How unimportant all those things really are to me. How we just opened up our heart and souls and asked for everything that really counted and we didn’t even think about them once. How refreshing that felt. How invigorating. How happy.

V’samachta B’Chagecha. Let us rejoice with this holiday in front of us. That’s really the main mitzva of Sukkot. It’s not just about spending time in those clouds of glory. Of course that will make you happy and give you joy. It’s also and perhaps even more essentially about realizing that it is only in those Sukkot mamash- those real simple bare bone huts that we will actually find the peace, joy and happiness of being one with Hashem. Only when we disconnect. When we leave it all behind. When all we have are some branches and fruits to dance with. When we just have pretty pictures our kids drew or some glued colored paper chains holding on for dear life from our ceilings. When we can look up through the cracks of our ceiling and feel our Father smiling down us from the stars above. Then we know we are truly surrounded by clouds of glory. It’s a feeling one can get that it’s not about my ICloud it’s about His Clouds. It is the picture of our soul the way it wants to be seen. The way it really is. Think of it as a selfie of your soul. You don’t need a camera for it. In fact it only works when you don’t have one.

 Have an amazing Shabbos and a otherworldly Sukkos

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“A lustiger dales gait iber alles.”– Happy poverty overcomes everything.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lmaan-yeydu-vsamachta– My latest composition. It’s a Rabbi Schwartz song like you’ve never heard it before. This is Dovid Lowy’s funky take on my L’Maan Yeidu Doroseichem/V’Samachta! My kids love it. I’m sure you will as well…

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ushpizin-2   –If I had one song that I wish would “get out there” it would be this one. There really is not any really hartzig songs to sing in your sukka about Sukkos and I composed this one on Hoshana Rabba a few years ago. It’s Yitz Berry at this best my incredible Ushpizin composition… Enjoy!

https://youtu.be/n9VVd706PwI - Reb Moshe Shmuel Shapiro’s Amar Abaye (at least in the first few seconds you can actually hear him singing it)

https://youtu.be/HT3RwIDl7hs  – Incredible 10’s of thousands by the Kotel for Selichos

https://youtu.be/BbSvL3eWnrw - Yonatan Sheinfeld Ahavat Chinam- Free Love great song and video bringing all Jews together

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

Q Most of the ruins in the Carmel are attributed to the period:
a) Herodian
b) Byzantine
c) Umayyad
d) Crusader

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Sukkos- My Rosh Yeshiva Reb Moshe Shmuel Shapiro was a lamdan. Being a nephew of Reb Chaim Brisker and a student of the Brisker Rav, his cousin, certainly gave him that analytical Brisker mind. But he always had some chasdish blood in him. He composed 10s of songs and would regularly hold tish on Friday nights and holidays when he would share those songs with us. Yet most of his songs really came out of his lomdus. He always had an idea that he found in the verse or words that he sang that he felt was expressed in the tune he composed. Perhaps the most classic was his Amar Abaye tune. (I put a link by the You tube clips below). It starts when you first open the gemara, then your question on the Talmud, then your thinking about it and finally when you have a lomdushe resolution. The song is comprised of two words Amar Abaya- Abaya of course being the famous often quoted Rabbi in the Talmud. But when you hear the song, you hear my rebbi learning.

Well this is all an introduction to a lomdushe idea on a song I composed. The song really has nothing to do with the lomdushe idea. Certainly not funky beat that is arranged to. I composed the song before I saw the idea. But hey maybe the idea will give me new tune for this happy sukkos song.

Now most Briskers or lamdanim are not the most musical. They are more left-brained. But they also want to make their lomdus practical. Not just an abstract idea. The way that they do it is by finding a way that the idea can become a new halachic stringency or a chumra. It’s not necessarily as fun as a nice tune. But different strokes for different folks. So this idea on the holiday of Sukkos contains that as well.

Now all mitzvos we have a rule that one does not have to have intent to fulfill the mitzva. Mitzvos einam tzrichos kavana, is the term for that rule. If you eat matza on pesach, you fulfill the mitzva whether you intended to fulfill the mitzva or not. You put on a Talit you got a mitzva, no need to realize that you are doing it for a mitzva. Shake a lulav and Etrog on Sukkos same thing applies. There might however be one exception. The Bach notes that since the Torah tells us in the commandment to live in a Sukka

L’maan yeidu doroseichem ki ba’sukkot hoshavti es bnai Yisrael- That it is in order that your generations know that I settled the children of Israel in Sukkos when I took them out of Egypt.

That therefore if one does not know the reason or have intent for this reason when sitting in the Sukka he may not fulfill his obligation. The Bikkurei Yaakov even rules that if one ate and did not have this in mind he should go back and eat again. The Magen Avraham rules one doesn’t. The Mishna Berura, generally accepted as the final authority, rules that certainly in the first place-l’chatchila, a person should have this intent, but if he didn’t he needn’t go back.

What is the essence of the debate? So Rav Dushinsky explains brilliantly that there is a dispute which Sukkos we are meant to remember. Rebbi Eliezer holds that it is the clouds of glory we are meant to remember. Rabbi Akiva, on the other hand, rules that it is the real hut sukkas that we made. If that is the case, then he suggests that is the essence of the debate. For if someone just sat in the Sukka and ate, there is no way that he would know or that it would be obvious that he is remembering the clouds of glory. And thus he would not fulfill his obligation to remember the Clouds of Glory sukkos that Hashem put us in. According to Rabbi Akiva though, it is obvious when we are sitting in the huts outside that we are commemorating the huts that we stayed in. One doesn’t have to have special in mind in that case. The mere act of sitting in the Sukka outside of one’s house already reflects the knowledge of the mitzva. There is no need for any further kavana or knowledge.

With this he explains perhaps another contradiction, where the Talmud states that the mitzva of Sukka is a mitzva kalah- an easy mitzva. On the other one of the piyutim- the accompanying prayer poems that some have a custom to say says that Sukka should not be light or easy in your eyes. He suggests that the difference is precisely the debate. According to the Magen Avraham that the mitzva is for the huts then it is easy to fulfill. On the other hand, according to the Bach where one has to remember and focus on the mitzva of the Clouds of Glory then it is something that is not as easy.

Pretty amazing! Now if you want a good song for this verse check out my latest super fun and funky L’maan Yeidu Vsamachta song above by the Youtube clips of the week.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Clouds of Glory and Sukkos- 960 BC  40 years is a long time to be wandering around the wilderness. My tourists have generally had enough after an hour or two. Yet the Jewish people, the Torah tells us had a different experience. They had clouds of glory we are told that surrounded and protected them. They provided protection from the arrow and spears of our enemies. They knocked out and cleared the road of all the obstacles that stood before them. They provided the perfect climate control AC conditions. As well it also served as the dry cleaner, as their clothing never wore out. I have had a bunch of tourists that would have loved to travel under those conditions. Each year we go out in our Sukkos and we remember and commemorate the miracle and that feeling that we were driving for forty years in that heavenly limo of the clouds of glory.

I try to connect my tourists to those clouds of glory whenever we go hiking through the Judean Desert, or in the Negev by Mibdar Tzin where the Jews actually wandered and I point out to them how much nicer it would be if we had those heavenly clouds right then. As well and perhaps even more poignantly when I drive near the borders in the North of Israel in Galil or the Golan or even more so in the South near Gaza, by Sderot, I talk about the miraculous clouds of glory that surround our country. How our enemies throw missile after missile at us and they seem for the most part to fall in empty fields. To land on arab villages and this is even without the iron dome. Our war in Gaza in 2012 was called amud anan- the pillar of cloud or in English Pillar of defence. Missiles in that war hit as far as Tel Aviv for the first time from Gaza, but once again of the almost 1500 rockets that were shot at us only one direct hit caused loss of life in Kiryat Malachi and over 1100 fell in either Gaza or open areas. Yes, the clouds of glory are still here today.

In regards to how we celebrate those clouds, so there are a few places where one can really appreciate the incredible Sukkos that we erect this holiday in commemoration of those miracles. In Neot Kedumim they have tens of sukkos that are there that are all mentioned in the Mishna, on  a camel, a boat, double decker on a tree. It’s very cool. In Jerusalem you have the Safra square Sukka the largest one in Israel that has over 100,000 visitors over sukkot and is over 1000 square meters. The Waldorf Astoria one in the lobby is also exquisite as it seats over 250 people in the middle of the hotel dining room. Belz has all kinds of incredible displays  in their sukkah as well from what I understand. The President of Israel even invites children from all over the country to decorate his Sukka and thousands visit them. It is amazing to live in this country and to walk around neighborhood to neighborhood and to see each house, each shul, each nature reserve, restaurants historical sites, each block remembers that miracle that Hashem did for us then as he did to us today as He envelops us in His Sukkah of peace.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S I-PHONE JOKES  OF THE WEEK

Q: How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone ? A: Don't worry, they'll let you know.
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous

Q: What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone? A: iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iRIP iCloud, 

Q: What does a bull and iPhone have in common? A: They both charge!

Steve Jobs funeral will be held next week, after which he will be reburied every year in a slightly better coffin.
 Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone, it's an iPhone

. My iPhone screen is brighter than my future

My iPhone seems to be broken. I pressed the 'home' button but I'm still stuck in traffic.

Three Iphone engineers and three Android engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference. The Android engineers notice that the Iphone engineers bought only one ticket between them. The Android engineers ask the Iphone engineers how they plan on getting to the conference. "Watch and learn," one of the Iphone engineers tells them. As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Iphone engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into one restroom. When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the restroom door and says "ticket please!" The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor. The Android engineers are impressed, and decide that's what they will do on the trip back. Then on the return trip, the Android engineers notice that the Iphone engineers haven't bought any tickets. "How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?" they ask. "Watch and learn," one of the Iphone engineers tells them. As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Android engineers hurry for the restroom. A few moments later, one of the Iphone engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket please
Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're panicking over who's next to go.
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Answer is B–  So I started off the year with a wrong answer. I hope that isn’t a sign for the year. Anyways when I think of Carmel I guess I was thinking of the mountain top and there really aren’t many “ancient” archeological ruins that I could think of. But another tour guide (thank you Avi) pointed out to me that the area of Shuni and Zichron Yaakov are also part of “Carmel” region and there you have the water cult and the Aqueduct water system that would bring water to Caesarea. Although it was started around the Roman era it was completed and mostly in use in the Byzantine era. As well there after googling a bit I found that there were some ancient synagogues in Haifa (by Karta mall) as well as outside of Daliyat Al Carmel and Chushafiya that date back to Roman and Byzantine periods as well. Never seen them, and probably won’t as there’s not much to see from what I saw online and they are pretty far off the beaten track. I picked the Umayad period which is 7^th century Arab the latest of all the above eras. But the correct answer is probably Byzantine although it seems one might be able to argue Roman as well. Either way, I got it wrong so the score is Schwartz 37 and 10 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far

Amazing Guests- Parshat Haazinu- Sukkot Edition- 2018 /5779

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 21^st 2018 -Volume 8 Issue 49 12^th  Tishrei 5779

Parshat Haazinu/ Sukkot

Amazing Guests

What an amazing people we are, I thought to myself. Is there another nation in the world that could do what we just did. Who else can sit in shul for 10-15 of the last 24 hours pretty much straight through? Add to that, not eating, not drinking, and pretty much not talking either. Yeah there might be some Buddhists up in some mountain in Tibet with a few Jews spiritual seeking Israelis or hippies that might try the whole meditating thing. But it ain’t Yom Kippur. Not only do we do that, I thought to myself, but I actually feel uplifted as a result of it. I looked around my shul, I thought about my yeshiva days, I think about the different communities and strains of Jewish life I have been exposed to and the truth is I find that most of the people in most of the shuls and services I have attended on Yom Kippur actually feel the same way. It’s a real high. The ultimate one perhaps.Neila, when those gates of heavens are closing at the end of the day, there is an indescribable holy energy that is in the synagogue. It’s truly amazing and we are amazing that we can pull through until that point when the holiness explodes, when our bodies are truly recognized as secondary; as mere hosts for the soul and the spark of God that is our truest essence.

 Now, there are of course people in every shul that don’t feel that way. There are people that are checking their watches, critiquing the cantor- wishing they can’t- hear. There are shuls where you just don’t feel that spark. I certainly was one of those guys in shul- many times. I’ve certainly been in shuls and minyanim that didn’t touch me or inspire me at all. I’m sure you have as well. Interestingly at least for me I’ve found that the shuls that have a bit of chasidish spirit, a more alteh heim-feel, speak more to my soul. That hasn’t happened to me though since I started my own shuls and led services. I like the chazan there 😊.  For others I’m sure they can’t imagine not being in their more formal shuls, maybe with a choir. Maybe with the old chazan. Maybe there are certain songs, tunes, liturgical pieces that you need to hear, and if you don’t then your day just isn’t the same. It doesn’t make a difference. You’re there. You’re trying. And ultimately you’re aware that there is a part of you that is trying to move beyond this world. And when it gets there. Its mind-blowing.

 Now there are other Jews that tragically have never had what I believe is the true Yom Kippur experience. Some that are or were at least raised Orthodox, who just were miserable and never moved beyond the minyan their parents sent them to, or the one they had in yeshiva which may have never worked for them. Others who were raised in non-orthodox homes who may have been from the “twice-a-year” Jews and resented the hypocrisy of coming to synagogue and asking forgiveness for sins they had no intention of feeling bad for, or praying to a God they weren’t even sure existed. I’ve met a lot of those types in my wanderings. Tragically I would say they are part of the rapidly disappearing majority of our people; our brothers and sisters who have not found anything meaningful in our 3000 year old heritage, tradition, wisdom and Torah. It’s not a new phenomena in our people. We’ve lost way more to assimilation then to persecution and annihilation. It’s not their fault. I really believe that. They were brought into the wrong Judaism. Their soul never found its path. Perhaps that wasn’t their mission this time around for their soul. If you believe in reincarnation and that our souls can come back multiple times to fulfill and repair different aspects of it purpose, then life or lives might have different objectives, they might be easier, they might not include my Yom Kippur experience. But yet those Jews as well are part of me. They are still part of my family, my nation and ultimately I believe that they will experience it. Every Jewish soul will. Our souls are too amazing not to.

 But what is even more amazing to me then our High Holiday fortitude is our post Yom Kippur activities. See, we have just spent the entire day in prayer. In fact we pretty much have spent the entire past 10 days in prayer and supplications. Sefardim who get up early and say selichos weeks before the Ashkenazim do and guys in yeshiva with regular Elul speeches from their mashgiachhave been in prayer and teshuva mode for a whole month. We just went through Rosh Hashana pretty much spending 20 out of 48 hours in shul davening. We are on major holy Highs. We have been repeatedly asking Hashem non-stop to “Shine His Kingdom and glory to the whole world”. We are on the top of the world.

 So where do you go from there? What do we do the next morning, or even that night? We are not on the top of the world but outside in the backyard on the top of a roof banging nails together and figuring out how to make a Sukkah. We are walking around the market place and looking at palm branches, citrons and counting leaves on myrtle branches. Is there anyone else out there in the world like us? We have gone from the Holy of Holies to the agriculture and construction business and we don’t even blink an eye. We have been doing this for 3000 years and we don’t even think twice about how bizarre it is.. We are like little kids decorating our Sukkah. Hauling branches and making sure its shady enough. Bringing in our fine china, our silverware and our little squeezy honey bear for our challah (I miss those guys by the way here in Israel, if anyone has one send me it). That’s awesome. But what is it all about?

 It struck me today that perhaps what we are doing is beginning construction on that world that we have been asking Hashem for. That world where He will shine out from. Yeah, He has a heavenly palace, a Temple even that will come down and rest on the Temple Mount. First, however He wants to see us build Him a little one in our backyard. Sukkos is the ultimate culmination of all that we have been davening for. We’re building a home where our soul doesn’t have to hide in the basement of our body, right under the bills, the traffic, the noise, the blogs, the news, the carpool and yes even our Torah learning and prayers that may be more mechanical, cultural, social and intellectual rather than something and someplace that It would achieve its proper expression. It’s a place where it, where the real “I” was talking and exploding about during the Neila service. So now we build our soul, we build our truest self that home. It’s made out of wood. Out of branches. Its not too fancy but it glows like my soul does. I put down my smartphone, my car keys, my wallet and I pick up my Lulav and Esrog; a little palm ,a little myrtle, some willows and a citron and I shake them around. This is what surrounds me. This is what I need to be enveloped with. My body is the home of the shechina. My sukka is the House and shade of Hashem. That is where I want to dwell. That is the life I’m looking for.

 There is an interesting custom we have on Sukkos. Every night we invite into our Sukka the 7 heavenly shepherds; Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Moshe, Aharon, Yosef and Dovid. We don’t do this by any other holiday. We don’t invite them to our Pesach Seder when we have our finest china and Pesach goblets. We don’t invite them to join us for some latkas on Chanukah even though we’ve got plenty of nights for them to come. They’re not there for blintzes on Shavuot when we celebrate the giving of the Torah and not even for hamantashen on Purim and you know we try to find anyone to give those leftover poppy seed ones to. What is about Sukkos that enjoins us to invite them and have them grace us with their presence?

 The Shemen Hatov suggests a profound answer, he says it’s precisely because it’s not our house that we are inviting them to that we know that they will come. We are inviting them to Hashem’s house. To our Sukka, the tzeila dmiheminusa- to those heavenly clouds of glory and faith. To the house that we built for Hashem and our neshomas after finally finding our true selves on Yom Kippur. That is where they are invited to join us. Pesach Shavuot all the other holidays we are in homes that don’t and can’t radiate that holiness. The ushpizin probably won’t feel too comfortable there. They are built for our bodies, our tastes, our neighbours tastes and they house all that is physical about us. After Yom Kippur though our souls are beyond this world and our Sukkah is beyond this world as well. It is our taste of Gan Eden and if we are in Gan Eden then our Patriarchs and the holy ushpizin can certainly feel comfortable to join us. For our souls are joined with them as they our joined with our Creator, our King, our Heavenly Father who we have been so close to.

 It is not only the ushpizin that recall our connection to our shepherds. Each of our 4 species as well connects to them. The three myrtle branches are the Patriarchs, the two willows are Moshe and Aharon, the Lulav is Yosef and the Esrog is Dovid. Just as the we shake those species around ourselves, and many have the custom to do that in the Sukkah, we surround our soul with the souls of our forefathers. We connect with the spheres of holiness and gifts that they gave to us. We move beyond this world and even more fascinating we move beyond the differences that are between each other. He notes that the Torah tells us in the mitzva of Sukka

 Vayikra (23:42)“You shall dwell in Sukkos for 7 days every native/citizen of Israel shall dwell in a Sukkos”

 Seemingly it is a repetitive verse. As well the term every ‘citizen’ or ‘native’ of Israel is meant to dwell in the Sukka. Since when do we refer to Jews by their citizenship? The answer our sages suggest is that we are referring to the ushpizin. They represent the 7 days of Sukkos and they come because in our Sukka we have all become united. We are all one soul. There are Lulavs amongst us, Esrogs, myrtles and willows. Each one of our shepherds are there to make sure that anyone with Jewish citizenship will be connected in that house we built for Hashem. They may not have made it to Yom Kippur. They may not have even found their place in Yiddishkeit. They may just be Jews by citizenship only, but the 7 days Holy ushpizin that come to dwell in our Sukkos are coming with them as well in our Sukkos. For they are also part of our collective Jewish soul. They are also part of revealing Hashem’s Kingdom in this world. They are there as much as Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov are there.

  Fascinatingly he notes, that Moshe and Aharon represent the willow branches that have no taste, no flavour. The power of Moshe’s Torah, the unconditional love of Aharon’s clouds of glory gather in those souls as well. We may have never invited those Jews that are not as holy as us into our homes. But you know what? The Sukkah is not our house. It’s Hashems. The ushpizin are there. We are all one. And aren’t we all amazing together in that Sukkah.

 For seven days we will be in those incredible clouds of glory. We will bask in that holiness that we brought down to this world by our little man made huts. We will shake our Lulav branches, we will sing songs with our family and we will remember we came from and where we are meant to bring this world to. May it be the will of Hashem that He brings every Jew into His Sukkah as well. And may His light then finally shine out to the entire world from what will becoming His permanent dwelling place in Yerushalayim

 Have an amazing Shabbos and a otherworldly Sukkos

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

  

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The Young Israel of Karmiel would like to invite you to join us this Shabbos for our warm and friendly services. Our Shul is located at 24 HaChavatzelet Street in the Dromi in the Beit Meli building/home.

SHABBOS SCHEDULE

SHABBOS PARSHAT HAAZINU

CANDLELIGHTING- 6:10 PM 

MINCHA & KABBALAT SHABBAT- 6:20 PM

SHACHARIS- 8:30 AM

MINCHA 5:50 PM

MARIV- 7:22 PM (10 minutes after tzeis)

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SUKKOT SCHEDULE 5779

SUNDAY EVENING

CANDLE LIGHTING 6:07  PM

MINCHA-6:20 PM

FOLOWED BY MARIV

MONDAY

SHACHARIS- 8:30 AM

MINCHA 6:00 PM

MAARIV- 7:20  PM

TUESDAY-FRIDAY

SHACHARIS-8:15 PM

SHABBOS CHOL HA'MOED

CANDLELIGHTING- 6:00 PM

MINCHA/KABBALAT SHABBAT- 6:15 PM

SHACHARIS- 8:30 AM-

MINCHA 5:45 PM

MAARIV- 7:13 PM

HOSHANA RABBA/SIMCHAT TORAH -

SUNDAY

SHACHARIS -8:15 PM

CANDLELIGHTING-5:57 PM

MINCHA- 6:10 PM

FOLLOWED BY MARIV AND HAKAFOT

MONDAY SIMCHAT TORAH

SHACHARIS-8:30 AM

MINCHA AFTER HAKAFOT AND MUSAF

MAARIV- 7:10 PM

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Mit a guten gast frait men zikh ven er kumt arein; mit a shlechten gast, ven er gait avek...”– With a good guest, you are happy when he arrives; with a bad one, when he leaves.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

Q A kibbutz in the region of Judea and Samaria:

A. Ofra

B. Kfar Etzion

C. Tirzah

D. Tapuach

RABBI SCHWARTZ COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/NPIPrQAtIz4- Greatest scene from Ushpizin movie The power of prayer. Must watch (really should rent and watch entire movie but if you don’t have time at least this scene)

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ushpizin-2- My Ushpizin song composition- the nicest song you’ll hear this Yom Tov. If I had one song I composed that I would want out there- this would be it… After all how many times can you sing vsamachta

https://youtu.be/FNAG8nhF7vo- A movinng Tribute to the Lion Ari Fuld who was cut down to early by an arab terrorist this past week. May Hashem avenge His blood.

https://youtu.be/B2W-8Ea835s  - Sukkas Falling? I don’t know what I just watched hmmmmm

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S HAFTORA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Haazinu – I believe that not only is the haftorah connected to each parsha but the prophet that is chosen for that haftora as well has a connection to the Parsha. So certainly Yeshaya and Yirmiyahu have connections to many parshiyot. Yet when we have a prophet that doesn’t show up to often is when we can really note that. This week our haftora to the portion of Haazinu, the “song of the Torah” is only appropriate to be connected to the prophecy of the Noam Zemirot of Klal Yisrael- the great singer and composer Dovid Hamelech.

The song of Haazinu is not 99 bottles of beer, or row row row your boat or even twinkle little star. It is complex. It discusses Hashems’ kindness to us. It describes us forgetting him and the wrath Hashem pours upon us and ultimately it describes His mercy and revelation to the world. Dovid is a microcosm of the Jewish people. I don’t think it is a coincidence that Haazinu is chapter 32 gematria lev- heart. .Dovid  is our heart. He is our Esrog. In the prophecy which is mostly repeated in his psalms.. he traces those themes as well.

He is purused by Shaul, he is chased by enemies from within and without, Yet in it all he realizes

Shmuel (22:2) God is my rock, my shelter, my refuge

Just as in our parsha Hashem tells us that He is

Devarim (32:4) Hatzur Tamim Pa’aalo- Our Rock, perfect in his actions

The song of Haazinu describes all of the tribulations as ultimately coming to that great revelation of Hashem telling us

Devarim (32:40) “For I raise up My hand to heaven, and say, 'As I live forever..

Ibid (22:47-50) “Chai Hashem UVaruch Tzuri-The Eternal lives! Praised be my Rock! God is exalted…so I thank You, Eternal One, among the nations, and sing praises to Your name”

The Haftorah concludes with the words that we conclude our bentching with

Ibid (22:51) Migdol Yeshuos malko voseh chesed lmeshicho LDovid U’Lzaro ad olam- Hashem gives great salvation to His king, and He performs kindness to His anointed; to David and to his seed, forevermore.

We will be reciting those words as we bentch the entire week in our sukka. As we sit in the shade of Hashem. Let them inspire us of the kindness that Hashem has given us the descendants of Dovid and may we merit to see His Mashiach soon, god willing this year!

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Clouds of Glory and Sukkos- 960 BC  40 years is a long time to be wandering around the wilderness. My tourists have generally had enough after an hour or two. Yet the Jewish people, the Torah tells us had a different experience. They had clouds of glory we are told that surrounded and protected them. They provided protection from the arrow and spears of our enemies. They knocked out and cleared the road of all the obstacles that stood before them. They provided the perfect climate control AC conditions. As well it also served as the dry cleaner, as their clothing never wore out. I have had a bunch of tourists that would have loved to travel under those conditions. Each year we go out in our Sukkos and we remember and commemorate the miracle and that feeling that we were driving for forty years in that heavenly limo of the clouds of glory.

I try to connect my tourists to those clouds of glory whenever we go hiking through the Judean Desert, or in the Negev by Mibdar Tzin where the Jews actually wandered and I point out to them how much nicer it would be if we had those heavenly clouds right then. As well and perhaps even more poignantly when I drive near the borders in the North of Israel in Galil or the Golan or even more so in the South near Gaza, by Sderot, I talk about the miraculous clouds of glory that surround our country. How our enemies throw missile after missile at us and they seem for the most part to fall in empty fields. To land on arab villages and this is even without the iron dome. Our war in Gaza in 2012 was called amud anan- the pillar of cloud or in English Pillar of defence. Missiles in that war hit as far as Tel Aviv for the first time from Gaza, but once again of the almost 1500 rockets that were shot at us only one direct hit caused loss of life in Kiryat Malachi and over 1100 fell in either Gaza or open areas. Yes, the clouds of glory are still here today.

In regards to how we celebrate those clouds, so there are a few places where one can really appreciate the incredible Sukkos that we erect this holiday in commemoration of those miracles. In Neot Kedumim they have tens of sukkos that are there that are all mentioned in the Mishna, on  a camel, a boat, double decker on a tree. It’s very cool. In Jerusalem you have the Safra square Sukka the largest one in Israel that has over 100,000 visitors over sukkot and is over 1000 square meters. The Waldorf Astoria one in the lobby is also exquisite as it seats over 250 people in the middle of the hotel dining room. Belz has all kinds of incredible displays  in their sukkah as well from what I understand. The President of Israel even invites children from all over the country to decorate his Sukka and thousands visit them. It is amazing to live in this country and to walk around neighbourhood to neighbourhood and to see each house, each shul, each nature reserve, restaurants historical sites, each block remembers that miracle that Hashem did for us then as he did to us today as He envelops us in His Sukkah of peace.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S GUEST JOKES  OF THE WEEK

Rabbi Bloom was in the park one Sunday when he meets three members of his Synagogue who have not attended services in some time. They are a little embarrassed but he encourages them to come to shull. Next Shabbos they make an appearance, but because they turn up some time after service began, all the main seats are filled. Several other latecomers were already seated on folding chairs. 
Rabbi Bloom calls over the Shammas. "Moishe, please get three chairs for our guests in the back." 
Moishe is a bit deaf so he leans closer and says, "I beg your pardon, Rabbi?" 
Rabbi Bloom again says, "Get three chairs for our guests in the back." 
Moishe was puzzled but as there was a lull in the service, he goes to the front of the shull and loudly announces, "The Rabbi says, 'Give three cheers for our pests in the back!'" 
A Gabbai approaches a guest in the shul and says,"I want to give you an Aliyah. What is your name?" The man answers, "Esther ben Moshe." 
The Gabbai says, "No, I need your name." 
"It's Esther ben Moshe," the man says. 
"How can that be your name?" 
The man answers,"I've been having financial problems,so everything is in my wife's name."
Rabbi Cohen was invited as one of the religious leaders of the community to be a guest at the community civic dinner. The main course much to his chagrin was baked ham with glazed sweet potatoes. Rabbi Cohen regretfully shook his head when the platter was passed to him. 
 "When," scolded Father Kelly, the local catholic priest playfully, "are you going to forget that silly rule of yours and eat ham like the rest of us guests here?" 
 Without skipping a beat, Rabbi Cohen replied "At your wedding reception, Father Kelly." 
It was at a typical Jerusalem party and the hosts Moishie and Shaindy was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn’t know how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then Moishie got an idea….
He turned to the crowd of guests and said “Will those who are from the brides side of the family stand up please?” About twenty people stood.Then he asked ” Will those who are from the groom side of the family stand up as well?” about twenty five people stood up. Then He smiled and said
“Will all those who stood please leave, this is a birthday party”.
 Berel was down on his luck, went into a the local synagogue which catered to the "bessereh mentchen- the elite of the community". Spotting the man's dirty clothes the president worried about the synagogues image, went to the man and asked him if he needed help. The man said, "I was davening and Hashem told me to come to this Shul."
The president suggested that he go pray some more and possibly he might get a different answer. The next Shabbos Berel returned. The president asked, "Did you get a different answer?"
Berel replied, "Yes I did. I told Hashem that they don't want me in that shul and Hashem said,'Don't worry about it son; I've been trying to get into that synagogue for years and haven't made it yet."

Yankel was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing and golf,.
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Answer is B–  Easy. Kfar Etzion is a kibbutz, a famous one perhaps most tragically for the massacre of its Jewish kibbutznik settlers the Friday morning the State of Israel was declared. Once I knew that it didn’t matter that I never heard of Tirtza, which is just an ancient city or Ofra or Kfar Tapuach which are both West Bank Settlements but not Kibbutzim. Although I wasn’t sure about that. Once you know the right answer no need to search for alternatives. A good and profound lesson for life.