Parshat Shoftim- Goyish!- 2026/ 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 14^th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 41 1st of Elul 5785

(Due to serious technical technology issues- like phone swimmin on bottom of yarden.. you get a golden oldie E-mail this week.. Chazara is the Ikar :))

 

Parshat Shoftim

 

Goyish

Click here below for print edition

(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Shoftim 2026  )

“Why do you dress like that?” I asked them. I was in one of my end of summer modes where I’m just ready to pick fights with my tourists. Don’t get me wrong I love Chasidim. I have plenty of Chasidish blood in me and I come from very haymish roots, my grandfather being close to the Tosher Rebbe and Reb Hersheleh of Spink. I even wear a gartel on Shabbos-when I remember. But I wanted to make a point. An important point, that I think most people don’t get. Particularly American Chasidim and Chareidim.

 

 “So what is it?”, I asked them. “What’s with the Shtreiemel, the frock, the white socks? Why don’t you dress like everyone else?” By the way this is not only a question for chasidim. You gotta love these cool litvaks that think they dress normal and fancy, like they walked out of GQ, when the truth is that they pretty don’t really fit in as well. Some have the tzitzis sticking out, others have their black hats which they think look pretty cool especially when they wear them on a tilt. Nobody told them that hats went out in the 50’s already. So, they’re also wearing out of date clothing that make them stand out and that really is not trendy to anybody but their chevra in yeshiva.

 

 Now the honest answer to why they’re wearing this clothing is that ironically enough they think it looks cool, . They think that the shtreimel with the hairs standing up are really cool. The beketcheh with the funny little designs- that’s not mamash black but a little tinge off-black and it even has some cute little flower design on it if you look really hard.are "chikav". Or how about that tiny rimmed small black hat that really was made for a Bar Mitzva boy that you’re wearing? C’mon, do you really think you look cool in it? That would be the honest answer to why you’re wearing them. It has nothing to do with tradition, with religion, or with Hashem. It’s just about the yeshivish or chasidish fashion statement of the time. But nobody will admit that.

 

 My tourists fumfeh a bit. Well... it’s about not dressing like the goyim. It’s about tradition. It’s about keeping the customs of our ancestors…they mumble. I don’t buy it, I tell them. I think it’s much much holier than that. From the way that I understand it, the reason why we dress differently and even in yeshivos why our Rabbis put such an emphasis on wearing your hat and jackets so much, is so that we remember that we are not them. We are not like the people in the street. We are Hashem’s holy nation. We are exiled here. This is not our home. We are foreigners. We want to remember that always, and it will help stop us from assimilating. From thinking we are just like them. From doing the things that they do and going the places they go. We don’t belong here, and we want to remind ourselves that we stand out like a sore thumb.

 

 My tourists nod their head in agreement. It makes sense. They’ve heard that before. They know it’s an important value. They’ve now fallen into my trap. Well, if that’s true, I continue, then perhaps you can explain to me why you feel more comfortable walking around on 5th Avenue in the Diamond district, or in your tenements and buildings in the Bronx or your nursing homes in who knows what hole in the country you found them in Mississippi or in Tennessee than you feel when you’re walking around here in Eretz Yisrael. Why do you come here and feel that you can’t wait to get back to “your” normal country where they bag your groceries and thank you for shopping in Walmart? Where they speak “your” language, where they understand and share "your" mentality. Where you feel like you’re at home even in your funny white socks. But here, the holy land, the land that all of your ancestors dreamed of coming to, the only place where your neshoma really has a connection to, the only place where any mitzva you do really has any meaning. Why over here do you feel like you don’t belong. That it’s not your country. That you’re a foreigner.

 

Now don’t give me any baloney, about non-religious Jews, or anti-religious governments, or about scary Arabs and fears of your kids going to the army. Please… They’re killing Jews all over the place in the US. The goyim there will continue and only escalate the rapidly growing antisemitism rate that’s increasing exponentially each year. You’re smart enough to know that America isn’t different than everywhere else we’ve lived in 2000 years of Galus. That “Never Again” is “always again’. You have an updated passport “just in case” or for when that day happens eventually. Agudas Yisrael lobbying and frum congressman and the OU and shmearing all the politicians isn’t going to make much of a difference, and neither is the pizza you brought to the local Fire Station or the money you gave to the Police Benevolent Society – which helps you get off of speeding tickets. They’re making the same “gezeiros” against education over there, and it’s the frum guys that aren’t letting your kids into the right schools anyways. It's not even the Goyim. Yeah…You really shouldn’t be feeling at home there. You’re even wearing the funny clothing to remember that. Think about that next time you put on your shtreimel or Borsalino.

 

But the problem and perhaps the biggest problem we’ve always suffered from is that we forget how special and different we are. How much we are not like them. How pretty much the worst thing you once were able to call a Jew is a “goy”. You look like a “goy”. You dress like a “sheigitz”. I think the English for some reason call them a “yuk” or a “beitz”. I never really understood where that comes from. It’s not a modern-day problem. It’s always been our problem. The Yiddish phrase is “vi tzi kristaltzach-yiddletzach”- what goes on in the goyish world eventually permeates and makes its way into our world. In most cases we even out-do them. We become more Goyish, more Greek, more Roman, more Spanish, more German, more patriotic American Yankee Doodle with our BBQ’s and flags than they do. And unfortunately for us, Hashem has to always send us reminders, because the funny clothes doesn’t seem to workto remind us that we really don’t belong there. We really are not like them. We really need to come home.

 

 This week’s parsha repeatedly, perhaps more than any parsha, keeps hitting this theme home again and again. Right at the beginning of the Parsha we start off with the need to set up judges and enforcement officers that are different than them. There are no bribes, no showing favoritism, it’s not about who has the better lawyer or deeper pockets. It’s about pursuing real true righteous justice. Judges that are tzadikim, courts that have no political influences. This is the trick, Moshe tells us, to inheriting and uplifting the land.

 

Right next to that it tells us not to plant trees next to our Beis Hamikdash where the court sits and not to worship in the style of the goyim on a one stone altar. This is despite the fact that our forefathers did it that way interestingly enough… It was the mesorah… It was tradition. But guess what? It became goyish. And we Jews don’t do the goyish thing. In fact the Maharam Shick writes that we shouldn’t even plant trees near shul for that reason. We certainly don’t put flowers on a grave. Goyish is bad and we Jews have to stop looking and learning from them how to do things.

 

 It continues and continues this theme. Don’t bring sacrifices with blemishes even ones that are passing and that go away. Interestingly enough, the Talmud tells us that it was this precise law in the story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza that caused the destruction of the Temple when the Caesar sent an offering with that type of blemish and the Jews refused to bring it. For goyim blemishes are not a problem. Their sacrifices don’t have to be perfect. For us Jews that have a perfect God our sacrifices can be nothing but the best.

 

It then tells us about Jews that worship like the goyim do and how when they try to sell their politically correct ideology to us and get us to join them we need to kill them. We should have no tolerance for Jews that try to make us like goyim. It’s too dangerous. We’re too susceptible.

 

 Even when we try to set up our own “government” the Torah tells us be careful that what we do shouldn’t be like the goyim. Don’t look to them to have a king like theirs. Ours has to have a Torah with him all the time. He can’t be too rich. He can’t have too many horses. He can’t even have too many wives. We’re not looking for Henry the 8th. Even Shlomo Hamelech fell into the goyish trap of this one. The man had 1000 wives. If you make a cheshbon he was in sheva brachos every week of his life. Most of them were idolators. Stay away from goyim. Don’t become goyish. Even if you’re the smartest person in the world.

 

It keeps going and going. When we come to the land don’t fall into the trap of all of the narishkeit of the goyim. Don’t try to figure out the future. Don’t sacrifice your kids on the altar of whatever religious or politically correct mishigas their society is telling you is common place. Don’t pay any attention to any of their pundits or future tellers and yay or nay sayers about what will be, what has to be, what should be. Stop listening to the stupid radio talk show hosts. It’s all baloney. We have Hashem. We work with faith. We don’t need to know what will happen because we know that whatever will be is good. It’s from our Father. It’s not from whoever is elected. It’s not from the President. It’s not from my man in congress. It’s not from the United Nations. It’s not even from Bibi and certainly not Lapid but not even from the Chareidi or religious parties. Tamim tihiyeh im Hashem elokecha- stop being so busy with all the future things that might happen if you don’t listen to what they’re telling you to do.

 

 Goyim have prophets. We have them too. Or we used to at least. But we also have fake ones that are like goyim. So stay away from anything that sounds sketchy. That sounds goyish. Oh and kill the ones that you know are false. They’re a danger. Because in general they will play on our biggest weakness to try to make us like the goyim. To try to make us comfortable in the goyish ways we’ve picked up. They tell us that we’re good Jews still and Hashem is happy with us and doesn’t mind so much if we don’t follow His ways. If we ignore some of the important commandments, like idolatry, like Greek culture, like lashon hara and sinas chinam, like staying in Boro Park, Monsey and Lakewood and not moving to Eretz Yisrael. Chutz la’aretz is not so bad. It’s not so important to move to the land Hashem promised us and told us to live in… The koach ha’torah will protect us. Uhh.. huh…Yeah.. that’s worked out really well for us in the past…

 

There’s an amazing mitzva that’s thrown in here of lo sasig gevul rayacha- don’t encroach on your neighbor’s field. Rashi notes that the Torah already told us that it’s prohibited to steal, what’s this additional mitzva? He says that this additional one of stealing your neighbors land is only applicable in Israel. If you build on your neighbor’s field in America or in Monsey, you won’t be violating this prohibition. (although it’s still stealing). Why? Because guess what? It’s not really your land. It’s the goys. It’s their country that you just happened to be stuck in. Don’t ever make the mistake that you really have any real property rights on it in this regard. They can and probably will throw you out pretty soon. Only in Eretz Yisrael, the land you were meant to inherit is the land sacredly yours. Only here does it really make a difference if someone moves his fence an inch or two onto the border of your lot. Because here every inch only you can uplift. Only your neshoma can bring down the shechina to. Over there it’s just a tenting campground until the next step in your galus. Until you make it home. Don’t ever forget that in your shtreimel and black hat.

 

I’m not going to continue. You should go on yourselves and read the rest of the parsha. Make sure to spend time reading about how we should wipe out all of the goyim in Eretz Yisrael and all of our enemies that don’t make peace with us. That don’t come over to our team. We are the light of the world. The world we are meant to create that will shine out the light of Hashem to needs to be built on the foundation that we have that light. They are meant to be taking tips from us on how to receive it. We approach the High Holidays in this month of Elul. On the first day of Rosh Hashana, Hashem will judge us. The judgement on us is what will impact the rest of the worlds on the 2nd day of Rosh Hashana. But this is the month to remember who we are and what rests on our shoulders. The clothing we wear may not be enough of a reminder. It’s time to get on the royal garments the nation of the King should be wearing. His coronation is right around the corner.          

Have a super duper Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Abi gezunt—dos leben ken men zikh alain nemen."-, Be sure to stay healthy—you can kill yourself later.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

32. The material from which most of the unique tools discovered in the Treasure Cave at Nahal

Mishmar are made is: ______

In which of the following ancient texts is Jerusalem mentioned?

A. The Gezer Calendar

B. Papyrus Anastasi

C. el-Amarna Letters

D. Mari Archival texts

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey   –My most beautiful Elul L'Dovid Composition. This song is the whole month. LULAY with the amazing Dovid Lowy on vocals and arrangements!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAelDAbKoX0&list=RDqAelDAbKoX0&start_radio=1    – Tzemach Tzedek Niggun.. Holy of the Holies…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-su4FGXbpbw&list=RD-su4FGXbpbw&start_radio=1   – Nissim Black's latest Niggun with Aaron Holder – I won't let you down!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJrvxh_XAro&list=RDTJrvxh_XAro&start_radio=1 – Benny Friedmans latest Uve'oso Yom- On that day!1

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

A Repeat of last week… Sorry no time… Chazara is the Ikar…

 

Hostage Return, but Ultimate Failure - 586 BC  - After the assassination of Gedalia ben Achikam, the day after Rosh Hashana and just a few months after the Churban, Klal Yisrael was in a bad despondent mode. Yishmael Ben Netanya after murdering the other Jews in Mitzpa, took hostages and captives with him back towards Amon. Amon of course is Jordan today. In fact it's why the capital is called Amman. Gedaliah's surviving adviser who had warned him about the impending attack and who Gedalia disregarded, felt it was up to him to return the hostages home. He took the special forces unit and chased after Yishmael, ultimately catching up with them by the pool of Givon, which is in the modern village of El Jib near Nebi Samuel and freeing them, Yishmael however escaped back to Ammon.

Here we once again come to a turning point or perhaps more accurately a failed opportunity. Much like the Palestinians and perhaps even the Israelis today, we never fail to miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. The Navi Yirmiyahu and his student Baruch Ben Neriyah tell Yochanan and the Jews that they should stay in Israel. Don't run away. Don't leave the country. We can rebuild. We can start again. Hashem will be with us. Yet, Yochanan and the Jews with him are too fearful. They are scared that Nevuchadnezzar will come take revenge upon them, for the murder of his appointed regent Gedalia. Thus they decide to flee to Mitzrayim. To Pharaoh, he will protect us from Nevuchadnezzar. There we will have food, we will have security. Hashem has left the holy land. We need to start again with our Torah in Africa, Spain, Portugal, England, Amsterdam, Poland, Hungary, Czechoslavakia, Volozhin, Vilna, Mezibuzh, Mezritch, America, Lakewood, Jackson… Egypt.

Yirmiyahu pleads with them to stay. He tells them Hashem regrets having destroyed the Temple. He will protect us from Nevuchadnezzar. Egypt is a bad move. It's not safe. Nowhere else will be safe. They will ultimately kill us there. They will kill us everywhere. Hashem wants us in His Home. In His palace. Please don't leave. Please stay. Here it will be good. But the people don't listen. They not only go down to Egypt, but they even take Yirmiyahu and Baruch with them. And thus the era of the first Temple ends. Not with the churban, but rather with our obstinate stiff-necked refusal to believe that Hashem wanted and wants us to remain here in Israel. To be at His side. What happens to the Jews who get exiled to Egypt. Stay tuned next week, but I imagine can you probably figure it out.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE FASHION JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

A fat fashion designer found a time machine one day.Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button. He soon found himself in ancient Rome.

He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre. Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeeper if they can sell him XL shirts.

That question made the shopkeeper curious, thus he asked the designer:

“Do you really want to purchase that many shirts?”

(it took me twice to get that one…)

 

Did you hear about the fashion designer who was on the phone while driving and nearly got into an accident? It was a clothes call.

 

Why can't fashion designers play uno? Because they always draw a cardigan.

 

What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything? Calvin Deklein.

 

2020's fashion was really terrible. Probably because nobody had any taste

 

COVID is like fashion…

We started hearing about it in Italy…

Became popular in LA and NYC…

Florida ignored it…

And it was all made in China in the end.

 

How many trainers will it take to teach Tommy fashion design? None. Hilfiger it out..

 

Never talk to me about fashion. It just goes in one year and out the other.

 

My doctor really likes my choice of sensible footwear...I overheard him telling his colleague that I had "Serious healthy shoes".

 

Little old Yankel gets on a crowded city bus, every seat filled. A tough looking goy with a lot of prison tattoos is kicking his feet onto the seat opposite him, keeping it from being used. Yankel waddles over says 'scuze me' and pushes the tough bloke's legs off the seat.

Agitated, the tough bloke starts pointing to the prison tats on his face and says 'You know what these mean, little man?'

Yankel nods in a knowing fashion "means you got caught"

 

A guy goes into a bar wearing a shirt open at the collar, and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one.

He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, and manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over, and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in - just don't start anything."

 

I once met someone who refused to talk to people unless the conversation was about fashion.

He was very clothes minded.

 

My lawyer has such a good sense of fashion, he wins every court case

 

Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques.

 

Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned? Tailors old as time…OYY…

 

What do you call yoshka at a fashion show? A Cross Dresser…. YES!!

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The answer to this week”s question is C-  I'm not even going to try to explain this one. I got it wrong. This is really a togh exam. I guessed Iron and the answer is copper. I guessed Gezer and the answer is Al Amarna. That’s' all I'm wrong. The score is now Rabbi Schwartz 19.5 Ministry of Tourism 12.5 on this exam so far. As of now it's just a passing grade which is fine. One more question next week. Let's see how I do.

Proper Signage- Parshat Matos and Maasei 5779 /2019

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 3^rd 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 43 Rosh Chodesh Av 5779

Parshat Matos/ Masei

Proper Signage

I was annoyed. It’s one my pet peeves in this country. They finally put up a new sign on the road to direct people on how to get to the Tanach sites in Jezre’el Valley. The battle of Gideon by Ein Harod, the mountain of Gilboa where Shaul and Yonatan were killed, Ein Dor where Shaul visited the witch before this battle. There’s lots of fascinating sites from biblical times to see there. And now there was a sign. In English they even spelled it transliterated right ‘Tanach Sites’. But stinking Israelis… They embarrassingly spelled Tanach in Hebrew Taf- Ayin- Nun- chaf sofit. Really? An ayin inside of the word?  The word Tanach for those of you not familiar is an acronym of Torah, Nevi’im and Kesuvim- Torah, the prophets and the scripture. Everyone know this. It’s basic hebrew. Well I guess except for the guy who writes signs in this country. They finally got the English right and now they’re messing up the Hebrew. Oy… It’s just frustrating.

But that is signage in this country. They never seem to be able to get it right. Is it that hard to look up or ask someone how to spell or translate a word before putting a sign up about it. Why would you make 5 signs to direct me to the ‘Tumb of Rabbi Akiva’. What is a tumb?? Why would you put up a highway detour sign that directs you to the Buypass road, without knowing how to spell the word. I know that google translates the word ‘Zehirut Masa’ait Chutzot’- which literally means Careful of crossing trucks)-as Watch out for outdoor trucks, So the sign I saw the other day that says Care Full Trucks Passover- wasn’t google translates mistake. But really they couldn’t even spell careful right? Do they not know even a bit of English? At the pool the other day I was reading the sign with the rules that was titled in Hebrew as Chovot Hamitrachetz- the obligations of the swimmer as the “Debt Bather”. Sighhh… If only there was a place I could bathe my debts…

Now Americans are the first to laugh, mock and point out all of these errors. As if they could speak more than one language themselves. And as if when they try speaking Hebrew they don’t make mistakes whenever they open their mouths. We read each Shabbos by our house a book called ‘The Hot Dog Book’. It’s all these anecdotes about American mess-ups when they try to speak Hebrew. (The book’s title comes from the story of the seminary girl that actually went to the restaurant and asked for a kelev cham- literally a dog that was hot.}. So Americans really have no excuse to laugh or mock. You know the old joke, right? If you speak three languages what is called? Tri- Lingual and if you speak two you are Bi-lingual. And if you speak one? You are American…

But as a tour guide, that does speak both Hebrew and English fluently- I actually speak a few other languages as well but not so fluently- French- bordeuax, chardonay cabernet sauvignon, merlot… I speak Spanish- taco, tortilla, burrito and tequila.. Russian- Vodka.. – But anyways I certainly have the right to be upset and annoyed. The whole function of signs are to provide information. You are paying money to put up a sign to help people, to guide them, why do a half-baked misspelled mistranslated job… It’s just frustrating. Wouldn’t it be better not to put up a sign at all? Doesn’t everyone have Waze anyway?

Well this week’s Torah portion got me thinking about the Torah Mitzva of putting up signs. What, you didn’t know? Yup. It’s a biblical commandment to put up signs. At least some of the times there is. Other times, actually, quite the opposite. It’s better to not have signs. Maybe there is a merit to be learned from this mitzva as to why Israelis can’t write signs well. It’s the 9 days. It’s a time to find merit for our fellow man. So let’s look at the mitzva and see what the story is.

In this week’s portion of Ma’asei the Torah tells us of one of the last commandments of Moshe to the Jewish people to build cities of refuge for the unintentional murderer. The law is that the relative of the deceased has the right to take avenge them and they may kill the murderer. However, there is a mitzva to build cities where this unintentional killer may be protected. His city of refuge. In Devarim where it reiterates this mitzva we are told to “prepare the road for him”. The Talmud derives from here that we are commanded to make road signs that direct him how to get there. So there you are driving down the road in Israel and you pass a sign. Ir Miklat…City of Refuge 5 KM hmmm…Anybody wanna pull over and check it out? In fact, it seems that this is really the only city that one requires a sign for. Maybe the sign making people will be out of business when Mashiach comes and we have these mitzvas again… No great loss.

Now how many people would need this sign? I can’t imagine that there are too many unintentional murderers out there. How many people were chopping wood when the blade breaks off and slams someone, or come down the ladder. Even a car accident Reb Ovadia Yosef notes if the owner is disobeying the law it is considered as if it was intentional murder (karov lameizeid) or what we call vehicular homicide and if he wasn’t it is an accident and he would not be liable. So it is certainly a rare case of the man who would need these cities Yet for some reason that is the traffic signs we need on the sides of our highways.

On the other hand, a far better use of our resources it would seem would be to post signs on how to get to Yerushalayim. After-all that would be the place that all Jews would be heading to regularly. Everyone would be bringing their sacrifices, their new fruits that had grown, their tithes to eat in Jerusalem and three times a year the entire nation would be heading up to the Beit Hamikdash for the pilgrimage holidays.  And yet fascinatingly enough it seems that it was quite the opposite when people would go up to Yerushalayim they would camp out in the streets of the city and people would be encouraged to ask them where they were going. We wanted people to keep asking for directions to get there. We want the pilgrims to schmooze with as many people as possible. There were no signs. The Rav of Brisk even suggests it wouldn’t be a bad thing if they didn’t find the quickest and easiest route there as opposed to the city of refuge. Now I know that it is politically correct today to worry about the minorities and the few challenged people, and the rights of criminals and terrorists rather than the masses of God fearing citizens. But shouldn’t our priority be the people going to the Beit Hamikdash rather than the guy who killed someone unintentionally?

The answer and insight he suggests and that he draws from here is that absolutely not. The unintentional murderer who is fleeing for his life is scared, he’s frightened to talk to people, he’s on the run. The Torah teaches us that we have to have mercy upon him as he may be too scared to ask for directions. We therefore have a mitzva to have clearly delineated signs and directions to his safe-city. The pilgrim is actually quite the opposite. We want him to stop and talk to as many people as possible. Let him share with everyone that he is heading up to our capital, to our Temple, to see Hashem. ‘Bo’u na’aleh Tzion’- in the words of the Rambam. ‘Come up and let us head to Zion together’, would be the call they would make each morning as they packed up their stuff and continued their journey to our Holy City. So stop and ask and ask and schmooze and generally Israelis will tell you the famous yashar yashar v’sham tishal- strrraitt strrrait and den esk sahmone else agehn’. We want you to tell people that you are going to Yerushalayim. Turn off your Waze and roll down your window and ask someone how to get there. Let the world know that we are coming to see Hashem.

It is fascinating that this mitzva of placing signs up for the Ir Miklat for the unintentional murderer is the final national mitzva of the book of Bamidbar. Next week we begin ‘Moshe’s book’ the long speech of Devarim that Moshe gave to the Jewish people repeating all of the mitzvos of the Torah. Our 40-year journey has ended. We are on the banks of the Jordan river opposite Yericho waiting to go in and the mitzva Moshe concludes is that we need signs for unintentional murderers to find their safe place in Eretz Yisrael. How inspiring? Really? Is that what we are here for?

The answer is yes. Not only is that what we are here for but it is that understanding that will bring us back to Eretz Yisrael once again. Do you know what took us out of our Temple 2000 years ago and why we haven’t returned yet? Why there is a big “golden pimple” desecrating our holiest site. It’s because we have not yet put up signs for “unintentional murderers”. We have let them wander around with their questions. We have perhaps even judged them and ostracized those that may have made mistakes or have been careless, or who may have not been as righteous as we ‘holy people’ are. We’re too busy putting up signs on how we can get to Yerushalayim ourselves, how we can be even holier, than to worry about those who perhaps are still stumbling around trying to find their way to some place of refuge from the mistakes they have made in their lives. The last mitzva that Moshe commands us at the end of our journey and as we approach the land of Israel is that we have to worry about the dignity of those that may not be on the path to the Beit Hamikdash. We have to put up signs for them. In the words of the Torah

Bamidbar (35:25) The congregation shall protect the murderer from the hand of the blood avenger, and the congregation shall return him to the city of refuge to which he had fled, and he shall remain there until the Kohen Gadol, who anointed him with the sacred oil, dies.

It is our job to help every Jew feel safe and to show them the way home.

We enter the period of the 9 Days. Our eyes turn to that glorious mountain that we have traveled 2000 years to return to and we are waiting for the Beit Hamikdash to once again tower over it and shine it’s light out to the world. We have told the world we have returned. But there are still so many that are wandering and stumbling with their lousy Israeli signs that are always confusing and never really accurate. It’s time for us to shine the light of the Torah onto our signs. To create the beacons that our brothers and sisters who have yet to find their way back home still need. Then we will hopefully merit to hear that shofar and perhaps just perhaps this year Tisha B’Av will find us dancing in the street celebrating rather than once again mourning how lost we are.

Have a precious Shabbos and a comforting Rosh Chodesh Av Tov,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Az men antloift fun feier, bagegent men dos vasser.”- When you flee from fire, you run into water.”

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/al-eileh-acapella  – My latest composition Al Eileh Ani Bochiya- Sung Acapella by the incredible Dovid Lowy! Listen and be inspired… and Like and share…

https://youtu.be/kvnsCvUbV-s    – Beautiful Acapella Uvnei Yerushalayim.. worth the listen

https://youtu.be/EiF2_3H5nuE   – Ari Goldwag new Acapella Seasons of Redemption

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

Q The 1st Maccabiah was held in:
A) Jerusalem
B) Ramat Gan
C) Tel Aviv
D) Modi’in

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Masei– Lamdanim today in yeshiva specialize in gemara. Talmud learning is the crux of yeshiva learning from 6^th grade until the day we die. As one grows in their learning we dig deeper and deeper, we notice nuances/ diyukim, we come up with logical differences, we get to the heart of the matter and reveal its intricacies. But unfortunately the Torah and the written word is taken for granted and not examined with the same discerning eye. But the real lamdanim of old were not like that. The Briskers always prided themselves on their chumash shiur. The Meshech Chochma and the Rogatchover as well. It something that yeshivas need to put more emphasis in. It’s where it all starts from.

The key is really to read the pesukim like a rishon. With the same discerning eye that one would study a tosafos. Look for the nuances or words that might seem extraneous. You know they aren’t every word is measured. If that’s true for tosafaos or Rashi or the Rambam it certainly is for the Torah. Where do you think they got their style from? If you get into the habit you can start to develop your Torah lomdus skills.

This week’s Torah portion of Ma’asei begins with a verse like that where if it were written elsewhere you would stop and ask what’s going on?

Bamidbar (33:3) Moshe recorded their starting points for their travels according to the word of Hashem, and these were their travels. with their starting points.

Admit it your eyes are blurring over as you read that verse. It grates on your eyes. Let’s take it slow… Moshe wrote the starting points of the travels of the Jewish people. Fine I got that. Obviously it is the starting point of their travels… It seems that its extraneous to write it. But let’s continue. “And these are the travels with their starting points”… Hmmm what does that mean. Are you telling me their starting points? Their travels? Both? How about making this one simple sentence?

‘These are the travels and starting points according to Hashem that Moshe recorded.’ Wouldn’t that be more economical?

Comes the Rogatchaver and he explains with a lomdushe chakira. (I don’t know how to translate that word- if anyone has one that doesn’t sound like some Latin word please share it with me) A chakira is when you get to the heart of the matter by coming up with two options of what it really means. So here’s the chakira- When a person leaves a place there are two things that can be happening. 1) he’s leaving a place 2) he’s going to a place. Sometimes what’s important is not where you’re leaving but rather where you’re going. For example, you’re making Aliya. It doesn’t make a difference where you come from the main thing is the journey to where you’re going. Other times all that matters is that you’re leaving. For example, you’re fleeing the Nazis, you’re running away from the Cossacks. You’ve had enough of the tuition crisis, shidduch crisis and rising anti-Semitism in America. It doesn’t make a difference where you’re going just where you’re leaving from.

What about these journeys of the Jews in the wilderness what was the main thrust of their journey? So the Torah tells us that the starting points and the travels were both according to Hashem. They traveled when Hashem told them to. They camped where Hashem told them to. They were both mitzvos. They were therefore both significant. The starting points where they left were a mitzva and Moshe recorded them. As well the travels themselves were mitzvos in the same way. Every step was a mitzva. And thus the Torah explains it. That’s lomdish g’lernt ah pasuk!

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

The Puzzle of Jerusalem 1245 BC – Now as we mentioned last week the first battle in Shoftim was against Adoni-Bezek. It says that he was brought back to Yerushalayim where he was judged. There are a few problems with this. First of all the next verses tells us that Yehudah fought and conquered Yerushalayim, seemingly after this story. As well in the book of Yehoshua it already tells us that Yerushalayim was conquered seemingly when Yehoshua was alive. So when did it happen?

To make this even more problematic. Later on in Shoftim it tells us that the tribe of Binyamin was not successful in throwing out the Jebusites that lived there, which would then put it in the portion of the tribe of Binyamin- not Yehudah. And then of course finally it isn’t until the book of Shmuel where we are told that Dovid conquered the city. So what’s up? Whose portion is it and when was it conquered?

As can be expected there are different rabbinical approaches. One approach is that the Torah is not in chronological order and Yehoshua conquered it and it is just reiterating it over here as it mentions Adoni Bezek being brought to Yerushalayim. Then there is the opposite approach that It really only happened afterwards and Adoni Bezek was brought to the battle of the conquest of Yerushalayim and then brought in. Yehoshua is previously credited with the battle as it was in his merit and inspiration that brought them into the land and charged them with the mission.

Perhaps the most fascinating approach is by the Kehillat Yaakov and Radak who discusses two Jerusalems. There is the city of David which is in the portion of Binyamin that was not conquered until Dovid as it was a fortress. Yet there was a larger city that surrounded the fortress that was conquered earlier by Yehoshua and the tribe of Yehudah. It was perhaps there that Adoni Bezek was brought.

This discussion is certainly perfect to talk about in the City of David, when you discuss the history of Yerushalayim. As well when one enters the Jaffa Gate by David’s Tower and the museum where they have the history the different eras of the city and the boundaries of the city this is certainly relevant. What did Yerushalayim look like in the time of Dovid, in the times of the Judges in the times of Yehoshua? Certainly nothing like it does today. It certainly never looked like it does today. Home to close to a million Jews. It is and will always be the capital of our people. And this is where it all started from.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FUNNY SIGN JOKES OF THE WEEK

(am I the only one that has been deluged with them this week)

A sign posted in a Dentist's office said: "Please be nice to our dentists. They have fillings too."
Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road.
Sign seen in a veterinarian*s office: The doctor is in. Sit. Stay.
Housekeeping signs- * Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!
* I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat, too!
* Ring Bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!
* You may touch the dust in this house, but please don't write in it!
* If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
* I would cook dinner, but I can't find the can opener!
* I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
* If you don't like my standards of cooking, lower your standards.
* A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
The kitchen is close today on account of illness. I'm sick of cooking!

* Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.
* Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
* My house was clean last week; too bad you missed it!
Jack bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it."
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.
He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:"Fridge for sale $50."
The next day someone stole it.   
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Answer is C–  I,’ll be honest, Sports is not my thing. I didn’t even really know or understand what the Maccabiah was, how’s that for ignorant? Yet I still got the answer right on a lucky guess. Anyways it’s actually pretty cool and I’m glad that I did this answer and question because I learned something new. See the Maccabiah is like an Olympics but only for Jews from all over the world and Israelis (regardless of ethnicity). Did you know that it was the 3^rd largest Sporting event in the world right after the Olympics and the World Cup?! There were over 10,000 participants and 85 countries in the last one in 2017. I didn’t even know it was going on. Man, talk about sheltered and out of it!. This started in 1932 and it happens every 4 years, usually the year after the Olympics. The first two were in Tel Aviv- which I guess correctly and from then it was held in Ramat Gan, although the last 2 were held in Jerusalem in Teddy stadium. The Modi’in trick answer is because that’s where the story of Chanuka and the revolt of the Maccabees gets started. It is after them that these games are named, ironically and ignorantly enough the original Maccabees who fought against Greek Culture and its influence would certainly be pretty opposed to these games.  So the score is Schwartz 32 and 6 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.