Bageling- Parshat Miketz Chanuka II 5781/ 2020

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

December 18^th 2020 -Volume 11 Issue 10 2^nd Tevet 5781

Parshat Mikeitz / Chanukah

Bageling

 

It was my second day in Des Moines Iowa. We had just moved from New York to help found the Des Moines Community Kollel. Needless to say it was a bit of a culture shock. New York is the Kosher Food capital of the United States. Iowa on the other hand lays claim to being the hog capital of America. Nobody talks to you in New York, although they will occasionally yell and swear at you -in Seattle they don't even do that- in Iowa though everyone says Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and it generally is accompanied by a how-is-your-day-going and a minimally 5 minute long conversation. It took some getting used to. Whenever someone would engage me in these conversations I would hold my wallet tightly, cause in New York if someone says Good Morning they either are beggars asking you for money or muggers trying to rob you.

 

So here I was walking to shul and I was quite taken aback when Bill started heading in my direction. He seemed friendly enough at first, but then when I informed him I was part of the Kollel that had just moved here he gave me the speech.

 

"We don't need any of you New York black-hatters coming here and telling us how to do things. We've been doing it just fine without you!"

 

Now a lesser person might have taken offense or felt the need to defend themselves. But I'm from New York I'm used to abrasive people. I particularly have an affinity for Jews that feel strongly about how much they don't like other Jews telling them how to do things and that think they are doing things just right without me. I can relate to them. They feel strongly about their yiddishkeit. They don't want it shaken up. They have a fire. I can work with that. It's the apathetic ones that are much more challenging. The ones that don't care if there is a God, if they're Jewish or not. The one's that can't even enjoy a bowl of chulent. Those are the ones that are hard. But Bill was mine. I knew right then we were going to be friends and he was going to become frum.

 

So we began to learn. He would come to shul every day. He did before we even came there. It was the Iowa Orthodox shul way. They used a microphone on Shabbos, there was no mechitza separation between men and women and almost everyone drove to shul for Shabbos services. Yet for Iowa that was still called Orthodox. We didn't want to pray in that minyan on Shabbos so we made an early minyan and Bill was a regular there. After a while we got more people for our minyan than the regular one. It wasn't because ours was faster, there was no speech, because it was "more" Orthodox or even because we had a better Kiddush. In fact we didn't. The rabbi of the main shul didn't want competition so he prohibited us from having one so we would just study after davening and join the regular main shul Kiddush with everyone else. No, the reason we had more people for our minyan was because that way they could come daven and then go to work…. Oy…

 

(Interesting side note- an old time American Rabbi once told me that the reason why American shuls start at 9:00 AM or later on Shabbos- unlike Israel where it's hard to find a late minyan, was because it was started in order to make sure Jews wouldn't go to work on Shabbos. If someone didn't come, he was probably a Shabbos violator)

 

Now Bill had a bagel shop in town; "The Nosh". He had kosher bagels and kosher cheeses and shmears. As well he had kosher salami, bologna and turkey with which he would make non-kosher Rueben sandwiches of Cold Cuts and Cheese. Meat and Milk is a big no-no. I remember asking Bill once why he had to open up on Shabbos. He was a good guy. His religion was important to him. He learned, he davened, he came to shul. Bill however was prepared for the question and he explained it to me.

 

"See a lot of Jews out there only connection to yiddishkeit is that they eat a bagel Shabbos morning. Without that bagel they would be lost. It's for them I open. We need to keep them connected."

 

Again other Rabbis might be fazed by the incongruence of violating Shabbos and serving non-kosher Rueben sandwiches on a bagel to someone as a means of keeping Jews connected to the faith of their ancestors. But not me, I loved this stuff… I knew I would write an E-Mail about it one day and maybe even a book.

 

"I hear you, Bill. I think that's amazing. But why do you have to be the one to open it up? Why can't you just let the Goy that works for you run the store on Shabbos and you stay here in Shul with us?"

 

Bill looked at me with horror. It was as if I had just killed his mother. He was incredulous.

"Rabbi! The Goy?! What are you talking about…? He'll trayf up my store!"

 

And there you have it. It was my you're-not-in-Lakewood-any more-Dorothy. Welcome to Iowa.

 

There's much truth to Bill's understanding of the sad state of far too many of our brothers and sisters in America. The only connection they have is that "bagel". It's even become a verb that's found in the Urban Language Dictionary

 

Bageling- is a term for when you see someone you suspect is Jewish want them to know that you are or to find out if they are, so you say or do something Jewish in nature in order to drop the hint so they know you're one of the tribe.

eg "Oy Vay, I forgot my shmear at home." "He's such a Ganiv…" "Ahh a Mechaya…"  "What a shlep.."  "Where can I buy herring?" That's called bageling.

 

I've been bageled lots. You have no idea how many Jews out there that don't do anything Jewish, but when they see a jolly Rabbi they want to let them know discreetly that they despite all that, they're still Jewish. They haven't forgotten. It's not something they wear on their shirt. It's not something they share at their workplace, or even in their social circles. But that pinteleh yid is still there. It's the hole in the bagel. It's that seemingly empty core in the middle. But it really gives the bagel it's whole shape. It's waiting to be filled up. And Rabbi Schwartz loves dem bagels.

 

Now it struck me this week, and I'll explain why soon, that this ancient Jewish tradition actually has its roots in the Torah. In fact, this week's parsha shares with us the story of the initial "bageler". It was none other than the first time when there was a Jew out there that wanted to convey to his brothers that he was also one of the tribe. In fact, he was a tribe himself. None other than Yosef, the seemingly lost, externally assimilated brother who was the ruler of Egypt, but whose Jewish spirit was still as strong as ever. And despite his need to keep his identity under wraps he couldn’t help himself and needed to drop a few bagels his brother's way.

 

The Torah tells us that when he called them into his palace and confronts them and accuses them of being spies and demand that they return with their younger brother Binyamin, they don't recognize him,  and Yosef wanting and needing to see his brother tells them nothing. He's doesn't let down his guard at all. However when they return with Binyamin he invites them in and the bageling begins. He invites them for a meal, not just a meal it's going to be a pre-shabbos meal. Now the brothers obviously being Kosher eaters are kind of hesitant, but the verse tells us that Yosef tells them not to worry.

 

Vatavoach tevach va'hachein- (and he ordered) that meat should be slaughtered and prepared

 

The Midrash notes that Yosef had the animal slaughtered in front of them. "Yeah I know all about Kosher" he bageled them. "Yeah I even know about the sinew in the leg you can't eat". The midrash as well tells us that the word v'hachein- and he prepared, is a reference to Shabbos as the Torah tells us by the commandment to collect the Manna on Friday v'hachinu es asher yaviu- and they should prepare what they should bring before Shabbos, so as not to violate the Shabbos. Prepare it before Shabbos. Yosef is showing them that he- wink-wink, nod-nod, bagels them about Shabbos as well.

 

In fact, the Beis Ephraim notes that the verse continues and tells us that the brothers ate with him and they became drunk. Rashi explains that the reason they became drunk was because since they sold Yosef 22 years prior they never touched wine. They had vowed to stay away from the spirit. Yet that night they drank. Why did they break their vow? Zugt the Beis Ephraim it was because it was Shabbos. Their meal had started in the afternoon. But then it continued in the evening. Normally one doesn't get drunk from Kiddush wine, because it accompanies a big meal. But here the wine they drank for Kiddush came after the meal. Post-meal wine inebriates. But we see that Yosef, again bageled them. I know about Kiddush. He couldn't help himself. He was bursting at the seams. He knew the time was not ripe yet for the reveal, but being around so many Jews after such a long time, sitting at the Shabbos table with them, it was like trying to keep that jelly in the sufganiya. It was hopeless, its gonna come out and most likely all over your white shirt. So he bageled and Jews have continued that tradition ever since.

 

Now in Israel you don't get bageled, about being Jewish. Everyone is Jewish here. If you're living here and you're not Arab, a priest, or a Russian with a cross on then the chances are you're Jewish or at least think you are. Everybody says Shabbat Shalom, everyone says Chag Samayach, everyone is buying matzas Pesach time and is wishing you a Shana Tova and even a Chatima Tova High Holiday time. Even the Arabs. But what I have found is that Chanuka time of all times of year something else comes out. I get "Menorahed"

 

See, unlike other holidays, I would say most secular Israelis celebrate Chaukah by eating donuts but sadly most of them don't light menorahs; although certainly many do, as opposed to their American secular counterparts. But I don't think that a night of Chanuka has passed by since I moved here and light outside of my house that at least a few people have stopped and looked at my Menora and shared with me their own memories of Menoras lit. Some have taken pictures. Some have danced and sang with me. It was as if that little flame was calling to them. They wanted to Menorah me. They wanted to let me know that they also had a spark of Torah Judaism, of Mitzva Judaism, that they were more than just Jewish Israelis. They were holy too.

 

Last night an old lady passed by and Menorahed me. She took pictures and told me how beautiful it was. I told her that my Savta had bought it for me when I had gotten married. She told me how special that was and that she wanted to send a picture of it to her daughter and grandchildren in Canada. She shared with me that her daughter had made yerida and intermarried and she wasn't even sure if her grandchildren had ever seen a real Kosher Menora lit. I told her that I had a better idea for her.

 

"Whenever I light this Menora", I told her. "I remember my Savta. I feel her presence. She has been gone now for close to 15 years, but every Chanuka when I light that Menora I feel her here standing next to me. I even smell her very oily sufganiyot. We are connected. If you want to do something for your grandchildren. If you want to always be remembered. If you want them to always remember who they are. Where they come from. Then don't send them a picture. Buy them a Menorah. They will light it. They will remember. Their flame will be ignited. They will know who they are and what was important to you. Just as I'm sure that these little flames remind you of where you came from."

 

She cried. She thanked me. She decided that there was no need to take any pictures. She would send her grandchildren something more important. She would menora them.

 

The Mateh Moshe notes that the words by Yosef's bageling meal for his brothers v'HaCHeiN- spell Chanuka when rearranged. This is the holiday when the Jewish spark is awakened more than any other time of year, that amidst all the darkness and assimilation of Egyt, of Greece, of Boro Park, Lakewood, Iowa and even in Karmiel there is a spark that not only wants to express its Jewish identity, it wants to express the holy light of our Torah, our Mitzvos, our candles and our Menorahs. May we see that great light revealed once again in the Temple rededicated together will all of our lost flames when Hashem "Menoras" us again, but this time forever

 

Have a happy Chanuka and a hearty Shabbos and a light-filled week of miracles,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

                         ******************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" A guter yid darf nit kain briv, a shlechten yidden helft nit kain briv." A good Jew doesn’t need a letter of recommendation; for a bad one, it would do no good.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

8) The geological phenomenon of “bulbous” (calcite concentrates) can be seen mainly in:

a) The Hula Valley

b) Lissan marl (Chavar Halashon)

c) David Stream (Nahal David)

d) Negev

  RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 Rabbi Schwartzes Chanukah Hit Compositions!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/chasof-zeroah - My most lively Chanuka song and one you definitely need to sing by you Chanuka parties… Yitz Berry arrangements…

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/haneiros-halalu - You know you're bored with your old Haneiros Halalu and want something to lighten up you Chanuka listen to my composition and add it to your repertoire you will love it!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/al-hanissim    –My amazin Al Hanissim composition that will make you want to start dancing and getting into the mood. Arranged and sung by the amazing Dovid Lowy!

Everyone Else's Chanuka 2020 New Releases!

https://youtu.be/WV8-fQiavdM  – Gad Elbaz Chanuka or Hanuka?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th_JeK14Oig  –  Y-Studs My Own Miracle

 https://youtu.be/25xLnkl1VQk -Happy Hanuka from Trump, Biden, Obama, Bernie and Trudeau great imitation!

 https://youtu.be/6xKbzuCz0pA - Chanukah Donut Party at the Shuk

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 Gifts from Israel- Parshat Mikeitz– This week the 12 tribes all leave Israel. Until now at least Binyamin was in Israel. There was still something left. But now with Yosef's call for them to come back to Egypt and the famine finishing up all the food. They were done. And it was a terrifying prospect that awaited them. They knew that Yosef had the scoop on them. They had his money in their bags. They needed special to help. They needed the something that would find their way into Yosef's heart. And Yaakov had just the trick

 He tells the brothers that they should take with them the following

Kichu mi'zimras ha'aretz- take from the "zimra" of the land. The Targum and Rashi translates the word Zimra as the praiseworthy items of the land, like the word zmirot-the songs that we sing. In fact Rabbi Nachman wrote that this literally means the songs of Israel. Give Yosef a little sound of some Yoel Sharabi (I'm revealing my age here..), Ishai Ribo, Itzik Dadiya, Omer Adam. That Israeli music will pierce his heart. Those Eretz Yisrael niggunim will keep your souls holy and longing for your homeland. To return.

But it is deeper than that. Zemora- also means branches of trees. Yaakov then tells them to bring some of the species of Israel. Some of our holy fruit. Specifically dates honey, and some great nuts and spices. It's obvious this is not a bribe. He tells them to bring just a bit of each. This is not a fancy impressive gift at all like Yaakov had sent to his brother Esau. This was something deeper. He was sending the "ruler of Egypt" a message. In Israel we don't need too much. Egypt may have much more plenty. They have the Nile, they don't have famines. Israel does. But it's worth it. Because our little bit of nuts and our dates come straight from Hashem, they come straight as a result of our prayers. We may have to come down to Egypt now, but he tells his sons, never forget the gifts of Israel are not in how big and how much you have or amass. It's about the small little quality. It's food that was grown in the Land of Hashem.

 We read this Parsha around Chanuka each year when the rest of the non-Jewish countries have all their big fancy lights. We prefer the simple little flame of our Menora. It's a made in Israel holiday. Sure there was big wars, and big armies, and great independence and salvations. But at the end of the day we remember it all with a little flask of oil from the Holy Land. That's the message Yaakov sent down with his sons as for the first time since they were born, the country was going to be empty of its tribes. Remember the simplicity of where you came from. Take those songs with you. And understand that everything big and bright out there isn't worth a pistachio nut, a spice, or a date from the Holy Land.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

David's Ascent- 876 BC-  After the death of Shaul, one would think that Dovid's moment had finally come. There was nothing standing in his way of finally taking his already anointed by Shmuel Kingship. But one would be wrong. Nothing ever has been or will be simple for Dovid. But frankly Dovid is fine with it. He really has only one wish at this time. He wants to return to Israel from the Philistine land of Gat that he's been shacking up at. Achish, the king who just waged and won the war against Israel was on his way back and Dovid didn't want to be there for the victory celebration. He missed Eretz Yisrael and he wanted to go home.

 Yet Dovid, doesn't make a move without Hashem. He asks the Kohen and the Urim V'Tumim if he should return and he got the yes he was waiting for. He asked where he should go to and the answer was "Chevronah" to Chevron. And thus Dovid comes back home. Upon his arrival the tribe of Yehudah appoints him as King. Interestingly enough when Hashem tells Dovid to got to Chevron it is the only place in the entire Tanach where the word Chevron is spelled without a vav in it. The Midrash tells us it was to symbolize that the first 6 years that Dovid ruled in Chevron he only ruled over the area of Chevron. The rest of the tribes didn't accept him. (vav in gematria is 6). Today when one visits Chevron you can walk up to Tel Rummeida or Tel Chevron and see the houses that were there from the times of the first kingdom of Israel. There a wine handle with the seal of the Melech Chevron was found. Pretty cool!

 Who was running the rest of the Jewish people? So the Navi tells us that Avner Ben Ner, Shaul's former general had appointed Shaul's surviving son Ish Boshet to be the King in Shaul's place. Uh Oh. Now Avner had based his appointment on a verse and promise that Hashem had made to Yaakov when he was returning from the house of Lavan. There Hashem had told him that "Kings shall come out of his loins". The problem was that the only child to come out from Yaakov after that promise was Binyamin. The other 11 tribes were born already. So "Kings" plural means that at least two kings were meant to come from the tribe of Benjamin. And thus Shaul was the first and Ish Boshet was meant to be the second. And thus the ancient Jewish tradition of a divided kingdom and contested elections begins. Avner anoints Ish Boshet in Machanayim which is   on the eastern side of the Jordan river by Gilad and Menashe. It's where Yaakov met the angels upon returning to Israel. As far as my minimal research has done there are no suggestions as to where that might be today.

 Now although Ish Boshet was technically the King over most of the tribes. After about two years people started to desert. They wanted Dovid things were coming to a head. It was going to be time for a faceoff. Stay tuned next week for the story…

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S REALLY TERRIBLE BAGEL JOKES  OF THE WEEK

What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel

 How do you hold a bagel back? You put lox on it

 Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!

 Why did the bagel lose the election? He was the victim of a schmear campaign

 What does a bagel do when it can't get into its house? Call a loxsmith

 What do ghosts put on their bagels? Scream Cheese

 What did the bagel say to the Rabbi? I’m holier than you

 What does a Yeki bagel call its grandfather? Poppy!

 What do you call a bagel in fancy dress? A donut

 Why should you never start up with a Jewish Bagel maker? He knows Jew Dough

 I had to take a drug test at work today. They said they found Opiates. I told them it was probably the poppy seeds on my bagel. But then they asked about the THC, meth amphetamines, cocaine, and hallucinogens. I told them it was an everything bagel.

 What kind of bagel did the camper eat? A winnebago.

 The German consulate is in NYC for a big UN meeting with his Israeli counterpart. The clock hits 12:30 and the meeting breaks for lunch. Being that he's in New York, the consulate requests to go out to lunch at a local Deli. Yoav the intern is charged with taking him out. As they are sitting and eating the consulate turns to the intern and exclaims,

"I have to admit, these bagels are really delicious! We don't have bagels like this in Germany."
"Well," the intern replies, "whose fault is that?"

 An elderly couple are sitting in the living room, and the old man gets up, and says "I'm going to the store to get myself a soda, do you want anything?"

His wife says "I'd like an ice cream sundae. Here, I'll write it down for you so you don't forget--"
"I'm not going to forget," he waves his hand at her dismissively. "Ice cream sundae."
"With cherries and chopped nuts. You'll forget, I'm going to write it down for you."
"Woman I'm not senile! I won't forget! Sundae with cherries and nuts."
"And whipped cream. You're sure you won't forget all this? You forgot the last time. Please, I'll write it down so you won't forget."
The old man gave an annoyed sigh and left the house. He returned and handed his wife a bag.
"Here you go, I didn't forget."
She looked inside the bag and found a toasted onion bagel.
"Yes you did! I told you you would forget, and you did!" The old woman threw a fit. "You forgot the cream cheese!"

 A man is the head of a popular bakery in New York. The most popular thing they sell is their bagels, but the main bagel chef is out of town, so there are no bagels today.

One old woman has asked repeatedly if there are bagels, to which the answer is always no. For some reason, she keeps going to the back of the line and asking over and over if there are bagels.
The woman comes up to the front and once again asks for bagels. The man has had quite enough and asks her:
"Ma'am, how do you spell cat as in Catastrophic?"
She replies "C A T"
He asks her "how do you spell dog as in Dogmatic?"
She replies "D O G"
The man then asks her "how do you spell stink as in Bagels?"
The woman, confused, says "there is no stink in bagels" to which the man shouts
"THATS WHAT IVE BEEN TELLING YOU THIS WHOLE TIME!"

 ********************************

Answer is D –  Geology was never my strong subject and frankly most of my tourists aren't that fascinated by the subject. So to be honest I had no idea what the bulbous thing is. It was a guessing game for me. I pretty much eliminated the Hula Valley and Ein Gedi because I tour there a lot and have never heard or mentioned these things. I don't tour much in the Negev and when I do it's mostly by Mitzpeh Ramon where again I had never heard of it. I didn't even know where this Chavar halashon is so I went with that one. And I was wrong. The answer was the Negev and it seems in the Souther Negev by Har Tzin there is a huge filed of these calcite filled rocks that actually look pretty cool and are formed from Fossils. There are some people that suggest that Har Tzin is the Hor Hahar where Aharon Hakohen is buried but the common place for his grave is actually in Jordan which would make sense as he is buried on the other side of the Jordan River. The lashon Chavar thing it seems is near the Dead Sea and is these are the rock formations that are there. So the correct answer is Negev and I was wrong making the score now stands at 6 for Rabbi Schwartz and 2 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

Eternal Fights- Eternal Lights- Parshat Vayeishev/ Chanukah, 5781/ 2020

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

December 11^th 2020 -Volume 11 Issue 9 25^th Kislev 5781

 Parshat Vayeishev / Chanukah

Eternal Fights- Eternal Lights

 

The Sefardim were there first, at least in the new/old settlement of Tiverya. Rabbi Chaim Abulafia, the chief Rabbi of Izmir who was born in Chevron but was sent back to Turkey to raise money for the community, was the one that was charged by the Druze ruler of Israel to return and rebuild the city of Tiverya. He was pretty excited as his great-great grandfather Reb Chaim Abulafia (Sr.) had originally been the chief Rabbi of the city, as was his grandfather Reb Yaakov. The city had lain in ruins until he arrived, having been destroyed by earthquakes and been abandoned. But now it was to be rebuilt. He gathered his sefardic congregants and made Aliya once again. Messianic fervor was in the air. Tiverya, the city where the Sanhedrin sat for almost 500 years and where the Talmud Yerushlami was written -no it was not written in Jerusalem-always had the tradition that the redemption would start from here in the North before the rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash. On the same spot where the where the Sanhedrin sat and across from the place where tradition held that the ancient well of Miriam had rolled, he built the glorious Eitz Chaim synagogue in 1740, one of the nicest in the country. The Jews were back in town.

 

As the sefardic community that he led grew it became necessary to raise money for the community. Most of the Jews that had come to Israel at that time came with a Messianic fervor that the redemption was around the corner. They didn't have long term plans besides getting themselves spiritually ready for that day. The problem with that plan is that it doesn't always put food on the table. So therefore much of their support had to come from contributions from the diaspora. Jewish communities there wanted to have their representatives in Israel for when they would be heralded back when that great shofar blast called them. It was a match made in heaven.

 

But Reb Chaim wasn't interested in leaving anymore. He was 80 years old and been there-done that already. He knew that if he left once again the chances of him making it back to Israel weren't that good. So he came up with a plan. Rather than sending shada"rim- (shlucha drabanan- rabbinic messengers who were sent to raise money from community to community), they would send charity boxes. Each shul and each community would have their kupah- tzedaka box for Israel and particularly for his community in Tiverya and then the money would be sent back here. To sweeten the deal, he came up with the concept of connecting all contributions with the special benefit and segula that the city of Tiverya had. It was the resting place and grave of the great Mishnaic miracle worker Rabbi Meir Baal Hanes. Jews can never resist a good mystical charity incentive for success and salvation and thus the concept of the pushka was born.

 

It worked. The community flourished the Sefardim were building businesses. Infrastructure was developing, Christians and Muslims moved to the city and the Jews were at the heart of it all. And then the Ashkenazim came. The chasidim had arrived. There goes the neighborhood they said.

 

Led by visionaries and lovers of Israel, Reb Menachem Mendel of Permishlan, Reb Nochom Horodenkeh and Reb Meir of Vitebsk they as well came with the hopes and dreams of settling in the land of their ancestors. However, unlike the sefardic communities that flourished and were successful in integrating into the Middle East culture that they were already accustomed to, the Ashkenazim struggled. And their sefardic brethren weren't that helpful. Rifts grew between the communities and when the Sefardim came to the Ashkenazim to assist them in the building of the tomb for Rebbi Meir, the chasidim who already felt jilted because they were not getting any of the Rebbi Meir Baal Hanes funds that were being sent to Israel said that they couldn't and wouldn't participate. In fact, they were starting their own tzedaka fund campaigns. To make matters worse they demanded that the tomb of Reb Meir be shared by them. Why should the Sefardim have it all? And thus like the famous Solomonic decision with the baby and the two mothers claiming it was theirs, the grave was chopped in half. The Sefardic Rebbi Meir building would be built on the southern part and the Askenazic section would have to wait a few more decades until they would garner enough support to build their side. And thus Rebbi Meir's tomb sits today- his light divided into two buildings.

 

The Jewish politics though continued in Tiverya. A century later the Ashkenazim came to their sefardic brethren for support. The ancient shul of the great ashkenazic leader the She"la Hakadosh was finally going to be returned to their community. The shul which had ancient traditions of being a place where Jews for centuries would come and pray on the shores of the Kinneret was chosen by Reb Yeshayah Halevi Horowitz, the great sage of Poland and chief Rabbi of Prauge to build his shul in the 1620's after arriving and failing to settle himself in Jerusalem and Tzfat. It had survived four earthquakes but it fell into disuse. Yet it still remained a place of Jewish pilgrimage. However, because of the great poverty of the Ashkenazic community the holy ruins and area was sold to the Greek Orthodox Church in order to put bread on their table. The sale had a provision that they could buy it back when they had money, but over a century had passed and the Greeks had built a large church on its location. It was then that the Jewish community woke up. It was time to redeem it. We can't let this happen.

 

The timing was right for us. The Jews were finally in the red and had good relations with the sultan in Damascus and they sent a delegation to him to ask him to enforce the agreement and allow them to redeem their holy building. I'm sure they threw a little "bakshish" his way as well.

Sure enough, he agreed! The Greeks though were not too happy about this and they sent their own delegation and argued that it was well and fine that the Jews had the money to redeem the building and their original debt, however since then a new building had been built and if the church was meant to vacate it and hand it over, the Jews should be responsible to pay the enormous amount for cost of their building. I assume they threw the sultan a nice share of "bakshish" as well.

 

 Much to the Ashkenazim's consternation the Sultan agreed with them as well- you're both right- and conditioned the return of the Jews upon paying for the building. It was money the Ashkenazi Chasidim did not have. Having no choice, the chasidim turned to their sefardic brothers and asked for their support to help redeem this holy place of miracles that was being desecrated by this Church. Yet the Sefardim remembering the Ashkenazim's reluctance to help them with the tomb of Rebbi Meir, turned their backs on them. And thus until today, the Greeks are still here in our land, in our holy place. We are still awaiting the miracles to redeem it.

 

See what I did there in the last sentence. I mentioned Greeks, I mentioned miracles, and of course Rebbi Meir, whose name means light. This has officially made this entire E-Mail- from an unemployed tour guide who's desperate to share his stories and inspiration of Israel any way and anywhere he can sneak it in- relevant to the upcoming holiday and the parsha of the week. Desperate times, people, desperate times…

 

Now I'm not the only one that makes the connection between Chanukah and the fights between Jews. Every year Chanukah time we read the weekly parshiyot that are all about the original fights that led us into our first exile in Egypt. It's not coincidental. It never is. In fact, the story of Chanuka itself from a purely historical perspective is not as much about our war against the Greeks and their vicious anti-religious decrees as it is about the civil war that took place between brother and brother. Between the Kohanecha ha'kedoshim, the holy Maccabees and their Hellenized brothers that joined the Greeks and fought against the very small minority religious establishment (pretty much since the beginning it has always been a minority). Can you imagine Jews, residents of Israel passing laws to desecrate our holiest spots, building houses of foreign worship, idolatry, paganism in the land where we are meant to be revealing the light of Hashem to the world? Houses of promiscuity, intermarriage, and culture were proliferating all over our land all under the guise of open-minded-ness", pluralism or getting-us-out-of-the-ghetto. Yeah, I didn't think you could imagine it…

 

At the same time let's say in your wildest imagination you could imagine the above. Could you picture yourself picking up a sword and fighting and killing those same brothers and fathers for those sins? Can you imagine yourself answering the call of Matisyahu of Mi La'Hashem Eilai- Who is for Hashem? Grab a sword and let's go to war for our beliefs. Or would you just blog about it in your weekly E-Mail or your facebook page while chewing on a latka and sufganiya. Not that I know of anyone like that… (can anyone eat these things without the jelly popping out on your shirt. I always get the booby-trapped ones… can someone please get me a napkin…). Well if you can't imagine that then maybe you should put down the donut. Maybe you should think again about the praise that you are saying of how Hashem gave the miracle and victory to the hands of the pure and the righteous and the studiers of the Torah rather than the hands of the impure, the sinners and the wicked ones. Those aren't just the Greeks. Greeks aren't sinners and aren't meant to be learning Torah. It’s against the sinners from us. We can handle the Goyim. It's our own that are more often than not the bigger problem.

 

That problem starts with the parshiyos hashavua that we always read this holiday. It's the brothers against Yosef. The many against the one. Yosef who is called a tzadik against…. Well, they're not wicked. They are the holy tribes of Israel. Yosef was the osek batorah- his father Yaakov taught him all he knew. The brothers? Well they also learned… but they were also people that went against the will of their father. They took their swords and killed the city of Shechem… It's confusing. Were they right in suspecting Yosef? Was Yosef the one who played with his hair all day the wicked one? Were his dreams of grandeur and leadership a usurping of the kingship of Yehuda. Was his lashon hara that he would snitch to their father his attempt of ridding himself of them so he could take it all for himself. Did it warrant killing him? Was he the Greek?

 

The She"la Hakodesh tries to explain the mistake of both sides along those lines. But in the end of the day, it's a Chanuka story of brother against brother. And perhaps it is for that reason I have seen suggested that we don't celebrate the victory of the war. There were too many tragedies on both of our sides. When the zealots kill out the sinners, it's nothing to throw a Chanuka party about. It's not the result we celebrate. It's cutting the tomb of Reb Meir in half and just building over our section. It's leaving the "Orthodox" in the hands of the Greeks on our holy sites and thinking we can sit back and pray in our sefardic synagogue. No we don't celebrate that miracle or fight at all, although we do thank Hashem that at least it was the side of good that won.

 

Rather the holiday of Chanuka is about finding a small little flask of pure oil. It's such a minor detail in the big picture of the historical, years long battles that led up to and after the establishment of the independent Jewish controlled "state of Israel" by the hands of the Chasmonaim. It's almost like one of the miracle side-stories that one reads about that took place in the 6 Day War or any of the wars of Israel today. There are so many miracles of battles, of people that were saved, of ways that Hashem misdirected the Arabs that attacked us. A small little oil flask story shouldn't be the heart of the whole thing. Yet it is. Because it’s the eternal lesson we are meant to take from this holiday and it carries with it the essence of fixing up the reason we suffered the tragedies that led to this division between Jews. The lesson being that we need to look for that little jug of untainted holiness and purity that could be hiding in all of the tumah, heresy, sins and external shmutz in the hearts of our brothers. We need to find that oil,  and that spark and light it in our Temple as unlikely, as pointless and short term of a solution as it may seem. Because we will be amazed to see that that holy oil will burn and burn and burn and will be lit in the courtyards of our holy city forever. We will witness the miracle of the eternal Jewish flame ignite once again. That is what we celebrate.

 

The tanna Rebbi Meir, the Talmud tells us, had neighboring youth that would drive him crazy. I'm sure the problem wasn't that they were playing loud music at night. They were sinning. They were bringing tumah into his neighborhood. Maybe they had parades of "pride" about their sins, maybe they drove through his neighborhood on Shabbos. Maybe they had phones that were not kosher. It doesn't tell us. But it reached a point where he couldn't take it anymore. He began to pray that Hashem take care of them. Genugt Shoin! His wife Beruria heard his prayers and like a good wife she corrected him. "We don't pray for the wicked to perish, Meir'l" she said. Dovid Hamelech teaches us in Tehillim  that yetamu chata'im min ha'aretz- the sins should perish from the land. U'reshaim od einam- and there will then no longer be anymore wicked people. We daven for them to do teshuva. We daven that their true light shines away all of their darkness. And so he prayed. And so he taught the world about the power of prayer for the repentance and returning of the children to their father. He is called Me'ir because he was able to light them up. He found the holy oil.

 

Fascinatingly enough there is an even deeper connection between Reb Meir and the holiday of Chanuka. The Ben Ish Chai and other works mention that there is a custom to light candles and make feasts on Chanuka in honor of Rebbi Meir. There are those that suggest that this is because when the ancient tradition of when his yartzeit really falls out, {This is despite the accepted celebrated date of Pesach Sheni. Thank you Rabbi Daniel Glatstien for your sources and an amazing shiur and book on the topic.} Even more fascinating it seems that the Shela Hakadosh as well whose yartzeit is recorded as a few days before Pesach also seems to have questionable sources. And wouldn't' you know it, descendants of the Shela claim that his yartzeit as well falls out in the month of Tevet. It seems even in their deaths there is that Chanuka connection that is meant to draw us to their graves. And perhaps non-coincidentally there is dispute, argument and confusion if there really is that connection or not.

 

The famous prayer of salvation composed by Rebbi Meir consists of three words. Eloka D'Meir Anani- May the God of Meir answer me. He teaches the world this prayer when he performs the miracle of saving his sister-in-law from a house of ill repute she was placed in by the Romans as a prisoner. He says this prayer after he found her to be pure, like the holy jug of oil even in the worst of the impurity of the Romans, just as pure as Yosef Ha'tzadik was when he was held in the belly of the cesspool of Egypt's impurity. The Maharsha notes that when Rebbi Meir invokes this prayer he is not asking for the God of himself -Meir- to answer him. We don't mention Hashem's name as the God of someone in our prayers when that person is still alive. Rather he was saying 'May the God who is me'ir; who shines light in the places of darkness, Who lit up the darkness of the Greeks with the holy oil of our Temple. May that God shine his light here as well. Perhaps that ability to find that light is the reason for the tradition that is tried and true that charity to Reb Meir will help one miraculously find lost objects. It is his light that revealed the finding of the sparks where it seems to be hidden. Where may be we never looked before. Where we didn't think it could be.

 

It may be that Rebbi Meir learned that prayer from his holy wife when she told him to see the Jew and not his sins. Every Jew has that holy spark and oil. We need to light it up and the sinners we perceive before us will disappear. They will disappear as quickly as it takes to say Ani Yosef Ha'od Avi Chai- I am Yosef is my father still alive. When Yosef's brothers, the tribes of Israel, heard those words all of their previous suspicious perceptions of Yosef disappeared. Ours can as well when we will see the Father that is alive in every single one of us. It will be a time when there are no Sefardim, no Ashkenazim, no chasidim and no mitnagdim, no Maccabees and no Hellenists, no Chareidim and no chilonim, no Democrats and no Republicans. We just need to find that hidden flask of oil.

 

Have a happy Chanuka and a hearty Shabbos and a light-filled week of miracles,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 *******************************************

Miss my smiling mug and voice and want more subscribe to my weekly Whatsapp or Youtube video for my

FREE

My weekly 10 minute or less video short on the Parsha

Here's last week's

Wrestling to Return

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jNYVQEWxBk&t=133s

 

  You can get the weekly Rabbi Schwartz video by subscribing to my Youtube page on the above link. Or alternatively by Facebook friending me

***************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Es shlogen zikh aleh far di shtikeleh challeh.." They're all fighting for a little piece of Challa.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

7) Global warming may cause:

A) A rise in sea level

B) A fall of sea level

C) Multiple earthquakes

D) Migration of the magnetic north

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

Special Chanukah Treat for all you faithful readers!!!

I'm proud to present my latest

MISHPACHA MAGAZINE ARTICLE AND VIDEO TOUR

·         CASAREA; THE JEWISH/ROMAN CITY OF KINGS!

Special features include

SCHWARTZ AND SHWEKEY LIVE!

TULLY SCHWARTZ AND FRIENDS DANCE

And the most fascinating tour ever of one of Israel's hidden treasures

Click here to check it out!

https://mishpacha.com/watch-live-in-caesarea/

 

and click here to read my monthly column on this virtual tour

https://mishpacha.com/roman-holiday/

 

PLEASE LIKE, SHARE, POST

 and write the EDITORS of my Favorite magazine how much you enjoy these Virtual Tours, so we can keep them up!

 

Rabbi Schwartzes Chanukah Hit Compositions!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/chasof-zeroah - My most lively Chanuka song and one you definitely need to sing by you Chanuka parties… Yitz Berry arrangements…

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/haneiros-halalu - You know you're bored with your old Haneiros Halalu and want something to lighten up you Chanuka listen to my composition and add it to your repertoire you will love it!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/al-hanissim    –My amazin Al Hanissim composition that will make you want to start dancing and getting into the mood. Arranged and sung by the amazing Dovid Lowy!

Everyone Else's Chanuka 2020 New Releases!

https://youtu.be/u6PvoWmHiUs – Maccabeats Chanuka 2020 Candlelight

https://youtu.be/8YjLghDRrPE –  613 Acapella Ariaunuka?

 

https://youtu.be/4bNcy3v5TJk -Shir Soul Stevie Wonder Chanuka Mashup???

 

https://youtu.be/FePbZAs3dbs - Zusha- Chanuka is here!

 

https://youtu.be/O2n9-WsgPZg  – Nissim Black, My good friend Jacob L. get's an upsherin and Hava Nagila like you never heard it before…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

To Settle- Parshat Vayeishev– Ahhh finally… yishuv Eretz Yisrael. Yaakov Avinu has come home and his only wish our parsha tells us is to settle in at the home he had been longing for. Bikeish Yaakov le'sheiv b'shalva- Yaakov wishes to settle in tranquility. But it doesn't work. It's not going to be easy to settle Eretz Yisrael. There will be challenges. And yet unlike all of the other challenges our forefathers had in the previous parsha's, these are internal problems. It's Jew V Jew. Brother against brother. The problems it seems that we still face until today and need to learn and internalize well.

 

The first sentence that introduces this desire of Yaakov to settle the land perhaps reveals what this drive to settle the land is all about. What we should turn towards when we are faced with the challenges the land presents us with. What we need to focus and keep in mind as we return and settle the land.

 

Vayeishev Yaakov b'eretz mi'gurei aviv; b'eretz Canaan-And Yaakov settled in the land where his father sojourned in the land of Canaan. The simplest understanding is that this is the land of his ancestors. No matter what Israel and the settling of the land throws at us. Wars, masks, politics, parnassa, chinuch challenges, it will never lose this. It's the land of our forefathers, it will always be that. And that is what will always make our settling here meaningful.

 

But it's more than the place where they lived. It is mi'gurei aviv- which  I translated the word as sojourning. Yet the Baal Hatanya notes there are three different variations of the root word "gur" and each one of them shed a light on the mitzva of settling the land. Each one contains an element in an appreciation we should have about living in Israel.

 

The first is as we said it is a place to dwell. It's where our ancestors dwelled. We connect to them merely by living, walking and settling in the place where they did. The second one is like the word ger- convert or stranger. Eretz Yisrael is the place where one can finally lose the stigma and aspect of our exile that we are strangers in a foreign land. Every where else, no matter how settled or secure we may fool ourselves into feeling we are is really not where we are meant to be. The gentiles are always right about this. We don't belong in their country. We will always be strangers there. Even we serve in the highest levels of government, even if we build their entire economies, even if we give them our blood sweat, tears and antibodies. We're still strangers. We're like those holy converts to our nation will tell you that they always felt before their conversion and finding their home amongst Jews. Moving to Israel we finally are like geirei tzedek that after a lifetime of searching for meaning and truth finally feel they are where they belong.

 

The third translation of ger is in the word Bamidbar (22:3) va'aygar Moav- and Moav feared or in devarim1:17) lo saguru mipnei ish- Judges are cautioned not to be intimidated or fearful from any man. Yaakov wished to settle in a land where he would not have to suffer anymore from any fear of any man or nation. This is not only a fear of physical danger, it is a fear of spiritual danger. As long as we are not settled in our land, there is a feeling that Yaakov repeatedly has that that failing will be held against him. It will open him up to the atmosphere and put him at the mercy of the nations and influences around him. It's like walking around the street or shopping without a mask. In my house on my couch I know I'm safe. I have nothing to fear. Outside in the world away from the safety of my four walls, away from the country where I'm meant to be. Without that protective shield that Hashem has over our country we will always have the fear of the knowledge that it is because we are not living where we are meant to, that we don't have the mitzva of yishuv Eretz Yisrael in our hands that does not allow us to live b'shalva- in tranquility.

 

There are unfortunately so many that take the heroic and gutsy move to finally move to Eretz Yisrael. They seek to live b'shalva finally. And then the challenges hit them and they forget why they really need to be here. Why there is nowhere else for them. What the eternal reasons for being here really are. As well there are those that those same fears keep them away from making that move. Parshas Va'yeishev, the portion of settling in the land begins with the opener that we always need to keep in mind. It's migurei aviv- it's the land where we no longer need to fear, the land where we will never be strangers, the land of our forefathers. It's time for va'yeishev.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Chanukah - 165 BC- OK Let’s break for a week from our chronological sites and eras to talk about the holiday of Chanukah. So in the year 165 about 100 years or so after Alexander the Great comes to Israel and spares the country and Greek culture enters the Jewish world, the country is once again in turmoil. The generals of Alexander divide up the country and the Northern Syrian Greeks, known as the Selucids, led by Antiochus passes laws against the Jews and the revolt begins. It ultimate culminates with the liberation of the Beit Hamikdash and the lighting of the Menorah which miraculous oil that lasted for eight days. You learned all that in kindergarden. But where can you experience and relive that in Israel.

 

So obviously the places to relive these battles would be where they took place. Mod’in where the revolt took place is today a big city, but Umm al Umdan right outside of it a shul was found there from the Herodian post Maccabee period and underneath it another Chashmonean period shul was found, so perhaps it was there. There is nearby as well a great place the Chasmonean village that has been created as well as Neot Kedumim that have all types of activities including olive oil making for Chanukah.

 

The battles of the Maccabees are certainly sites that we are familiar with. At Latrun by the Ayalon valley, Yehudah fights off miraculously Nikanor. I like to play lazer tag with my tourist kids there, that’s really reliving the action. A little north of that by Beit Choron you have the amazing battle fights off the general Seron. Even as far South as Yavneh which is right above Ashdod you have the final battle when we threw off the yoke of the Greeks. On the other hand, in the Gush Etzion area by Tel Zekariah right outside of Elazar is when the Maccabees suffered a defeat and Elazar was crushed by an elephant. The yishuv is thus named after him. Further down as you head to Chevron the village of Karmei Tzur is named after the Chashmonean city Beit Tzur where they sent the Syrians and their general Lysisus back to Syria.

 

The truth is though everywhere you go in Israel everyone is trying to get in on the action all of the museums have Chanukah activities, the parks have games and period-era costumes, and everyone is getting in on the action. But of course the most important Chanukah experience is to walk through the streets of the old city of Yerushalayim at night and see the neiros b’chatzros kodshecha- the candles, just as they were 2000 years ago lit in the courtyard, streets and window of our holy city. Am Yisrael Chai!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE CHANUKAH  JOKES  OF THE WEEK

Mom: who ate the entire plate of Donuts?

Dad: I thought they I only had room for one and in fact there was room for eight! A true Chanuka miracle.

 When the police Corona inspectors crash your illegal Chanuka Party and you hide your dreidels and pull out your gemaros and pretend like your learning Torah in a legal capsule you'll know that we have come full circle.

 Which hand is best to light the menorah with? Neither, it’s best to light it with a candle.

How can you recognize a Hanukkah hippie? He’s the one with his hair in dreidel-locks.

How much Hanukkah gelt did the skunk get? One cent.

What’s the best Hanukkah gift for the person who has everything? A burglar alarm.

What do you call a speck that falls into the latke pan? An unidentified frying object.

Why don’t we eat clowns at Hanukkah? Because they taste funny.

What’s the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon? One lasts for eight nights, the other sometimes ate knights.

What’s the best thing to put into the sufganiyot? Your teeth.

What did the candles say when the menorah complained about getting too hot? Whoa, a talking menorah.

What did the older Hanukkah candle say to the younger one? You’re too young to smoke.

Why was the broom late to the Hanukkah party? It over-swept.

*********************************

Answer is A –  I'm no scientist or environmentalist. But I do read the papers and this one was pretty easy to figure out. First of all I have no idea what migration of North magnetic means or if that is even a sentence or a thing or just an Israeli mistranslation. Earthquakes are caused by the Syrian African Rift not global warming, so it obviously wasn't that one. So it was either rising or lowering sea levels. And since hurricanes and all melting icebergs and glaciers are all being blamed on global warming so obviously the sea is rising, which of course makes sense as when water heats it expands and rises. So another one right and the score now stands at 6 for Rabbi Schwartz and 1 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.