The Lost Orchestra- Rosh Hashana 5784 - 2023

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 15^th, 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 49 29^th of Elul 5783

Rosh Hashana

The Lost Orchestra

So this is the joke that’s going around these days… There is this young Jewish boy from a local village. He was from a poor home, and came from a family of simpletons who had never had the benefit of any Jewish education. In most good Chasidic or Carlebach stories we would call him the child of a baal aga’alah- wagon driver or water-carrier. It was Selichos night and the young boy wandered into shul and he saw everyone there gathered around the Bima reciting the holy prayers before the High Holidays. They had guitars, Some were on the bongo drums.There was singing and dancing. Up and down and up and down… Carlebach songs, Yehuda Green, Nafatli Kempeh, Leiner. There were even some cool looking Chasidish guys on microphones harmonizing.  

 The young boy was entranced and moved by the scene and the holy sounds that were coming from the holy congregation. Yet the poor boy realized that he didn’t know how to sing. How would he daven to Hashem? How would he get inspiration and atonement? He thought maybe if he danced and jumped, but sadly he wasn’t a dancer or jumper type of kid… Maybe if he clapped…but alas he had no tune, no rhythm, no voice… what could he do?

 With no other choice the young boy walked over to the corner and picked up a siddur and began to recite the holy words of the selichos with heartfelt kavana. He cried. The words that came out of his mouth were just that… words-that sacrilegiously it seems in today’s generation that didn’t have a Carlebach tune to them. That didn’t have singing and dancing… They were just pure words and davening. At the end of the prayers the Rebbe who sat in the front of the shul wrapped in his talis turned around to the crowd of singers and dancers and told them.

 “You should know that in the heavenly spheres the simple words of the selichos that this young boy recited awoke tremendous mercy and shook the heavens. It is in the merit of his prayers that all of our songs and dancing were accepted.”

 And thus the anti-“new wave”- musical-selichos-Rabbi concluded his drasha against this new phenomena in Klal Yisrael.

 You know that Rabbi. He’s the yeshivishe mashgiach or seminary teacher you may have had in that was anti-Carlebach, that can’t imagine anything besides the usual nusach with maybe a little krechtz here and there in appropriate places. Maybe even the usual pre- kaddish

“naahh nanah na na na neahhh.. or the “Yachad- aha aha aha ha ha ha…by kedusha. Maybe hayom t’amtzeinu at the end… but that’s it. Singing, music, Carlebach… that’s modernisheh mishigas…Fuggedabout guitars and drums, that’s like Reform or Conservative organs in the synagogue. I even saw one Sefardic Rabbi call this new practice basar ba’chalav-meat and milk. It reminds me of the one that that said that ‘a woman in the synagogue is like an orange on the seder plate’… Yeah… you know those type of Rabbis…maybe you’re even one of them… Although I’d imagine you might have unsubscribed already (if all my fundraising e-mails I sent this week didn’t scare you away already…).

 I’m not one of those Rabbis. Granted, I don’t do the musical selichos in my shul and really never have. I am somewhat of a traditionalist in that way… As well… I’m tired Motzai Shabbos and don’t have it in me for a few hour kumzitz.  Yet, I love the concept. I ‘ve watched all of those post-selichos youtube videos over and over this past week. We have Friday night Carlebach singing in my shul every Shabbos… and dancing. My directive to our Baalei Tefilos for the High Holidays is that they should sing as much as possible and whatever non-singing “nusach” that needs to be done should be very quick. You know like the pesukim by the three parts of Musaf- although I’ve even used tunes for those on the times that I led the services.

 Hey, I’m probably the only weekly Parsha E-Mail that puts in Youtube music every week for you guys. Jokes as well, but that’s a different story. Yes, I appreciate the singing and I’ll tell you a secret… I think those other Rabbis do as well, they just can’t admit it.

 Now there are some Rabbis that don’t condemn all this Carlebach minyan singing and stuff, yet they minimize it. They see it and have even described it- if you ask me rather condescendingly- as a necessary concession to our “nebach” weak generation in these spiritually challenging times. Kind of like the yefat to’ar- a non-Jewish captive woman that the Torah lets you marry in times of war. Yeah… thank you, for that.

 I think they’re wrong. Not only do I think they’re wrong, but I think that it is this musical davening revolution, in my generally never humble opinion, that is preparing us for what IYH will be the type of service we will need to get back to when the Bais Ha’Mikdash will be built this year. They know this too… They must know it… they say the words with kavana throughout the davening. At least I hope they know what they’re saying… although if they were singing it, they’d certainly understand that.

Our daily davening starts off after the morning blessings with the sacrifices. Yeah, the verses and Mishna of the sacrifices that are in the first few pages of the siddur, that also seems to have gotten thrown out with music. This is despite the fact that the entire service is really in place of the sacrifices, and the recitation of them are like we are actually bringing them. The fact that we even read those verses and Mishna and Talmud is to fulfill our obligation to learn Torah each day for the morning torah blessings we recited prior. But maybe they figure that since there’s no Levi’im singing when the sacrifices are being recited as they do in the mikdash, so we need not say them either. It’s a gezeirah- decree or fence. Don’t say korbanos because you might break out in song- god forbid. But the problem with that is that the next part of davening is called pesukei di’zimra- verses of song… Uh oh… Let’s just say it quick and hope nobody notices…

 I know people are looking for kabbalos this coming year in this season. How about saying korbanos? I hear it’s a segula to build the Bais Hamikdash… and you don’t even have to go to Brisk to be able to say it…

 But anyways, yes, the whole first part of davening is structured to recall the “matziv” in the Bais Ha’Mikdash, a building that was full of song. In our davening on the holidays, we will close our eyes and ask Hashem to return us to the Bais Ha’Mikdash; as Shlomo Yehudah’s great song goes. And how is it described? What are we asking for?

 V'hareinu bivinyano- we should see it’s being rebuilt

V’samchaynu b’sikuno- and we should be happy with its being fixed

V’hashev kohanim l’avodasam- and the priests will return to their service

V’halevi’im l’shiram u’lzimram- and the levites to the their songs and their melodies.

And then we Yisrael will return to our palace.

 The Bais Ha’Mikdash was not only the house of Hashem, and not only a large slaughterhouse. It was a music conservatory. The oilam came and were elevated. Because music has that power to go where words alone can’t take you. It takes us deep into our soul. It brings out our neshoma. It is above intellect. It’s just the rhythm of our heart. It’s Creation itself.

 See, the problem with words is that for them to have any meaning we have to engage our brains- which isn’t a bad thing. We have to think about what we say, which we should. We have to go deeper and deeper into those holy words our sages compiled and wrote. As each one has so much meaning and depth to it. It’s why davening has to take place in Hebrew- in the holy tongue. As no other language contains the power that the original Hebrew does.

Yet, the problem with that is when I’m done concentrating and discovering that new depth to the words, I’m still around. It’s still my thoughts, my feelings, my interpretations, my “chaps” and “pshats” and insights into what I just said. It’s about me and my ego, that are still hanging around.

 Music is beyond that. When I sing and daven I’m closing my eyes and just tapping into the natural state of the music of the world. In fact, music is itself perhaps the deepest interpretation of the words. Dovid Ha’Melech never recited Tehillim. He sang them. And after centuries of us forgetting how to sing, of forgetting how to tap into that deepest level of the words and the soul that we’ve become a weak “nebach” generation that could only recite the songs and prayers with words and nusach and without any soul. Yet Hashem has returned us to an era when once again we can hear and be moved by the music and reveal it’s truest depths. We’ve returned to the song. Our souls have awakened as the spirit of Dovid Ha’Melech is coming closer and closer and preparing us for Mashiach his descendant to once again have musical services-as they were meant to be.

 U’macha Hashem dima mei’al kol panim- Hashem will erase the tears of nusach with the music and song of service. With musical selichos and davening.

 In Nesane Tokef in one of the most poignant parts of the tefilla we “recite’ how the angels in heaven tremble on Rosh Hashana. Why would angels’ tremble. They’re up there with Hashem. They’re not subject to judgement. The angels tremble, I once saw somewhere, because they see the way that we are approaching the judgement. That it is now our turn to recite the shira- the song that they have been singing. In fact, the piyyut that follows the Nesane Tokef is about how Hashem prefers our singing to theirs.

  Isn’t it amazing that the entire function of angels is to sing? That when Yaakov wrestles the angel the malach is struggling because he needs to leave to sing to Hashem? But they’re just holding the place for us. It’s our song that Hashem is waiting for.

It is not just the angels that are singing. The entire world has a song. You’re familiar with perek shirah which describes the song and verse of every animal in creation. It’s a work that some people have a custom of reading. It’s a segulah for something or another. It’s not supposed to be read though. It’s a song book. There’s music out there in the world. And the real source for that music, the instrument that can best bring that out is right in the soul of each and every Jew. We each have a part in the choir. We each have an instrument that only our soul can sing. And I really do mean sing- even those of you out there that are tone deaf. There’s a song, a key, a note, that only you can hit. And until you play that song, until you hit that button on the jukebox of your soul the shechina can’t fully come down here. The King can’t yet make His great entry that we’ve been waiting so long for.

 It's not every year that we read the parsha of Va’yelech before Rosh Hashana. Yet on a year that Rosh Hashana falls out on Shabbos, like this year, we do. The conclusion of Vayelech is that last command of Moshe to write down “Ha’shirah ha’zos -this song” and teach it to the nation. On a regular year that song would be read the following week on Parshat Ha’azinu. That parsha is the song of the Torah, although as well according to Talmud the mitzva is for us to write the entire Torah which is in itself really just the song of Creation.

Yet it is even more than that. In Ha’azinu, we read that it is also the song of the history of the world; it’s the song of our nation. It’s the song that Hashem in that last command tells Moshe that he should “put in our mouths” as it is the final condition for the culmination of the entire world’s purpose

 On Shabbos Rosh Hashana though we don’t read that song. On Shabbos Rosh Hashana we don’t even have a shofar- that instrument to awaken and elicit that song from our hearts. On Shabbos Rosh Hashana we ourselves are the song. Shabbos is the song. It goes back to the garden of Eden, it goes back to Adam and Kayin and Hevel. To our first exile.

 After Kayin kills Hevel, the Midrash tells us that he bumped into his father, Adam who expressed shock that he was still walking around after committing the most egregious sin in the history of mankind. I mean he literally killed 25% of the world population in what caused the first death in the history of the world. How did he make it out in one piece, Adam wanted to know?

 Kayin responded that he did teshuva. He repented and Hashem forgave his sin. When Adam heard this he broke out in song and composed the psalm that we recite each Shabbos.

Mizmor shir La’yom ha’shabbos- he sang the song of Shabbos, And thus Shabbos became a day when every Jew sings. Because on Shabbos we go beyond words. On Shabbos we return the song of the world to Hashem. We return to a healed fixed garden. The heavens and earth of Ha’azinu remember that song he sang, and they are testimonies that it is still in our hearts. Moshe placed it in our mouths It is just waiting to be sung.

The beautiful thing about an orchestra, a choir, a symphony or one of those other amazing new trends-those huge Kol-Kulam-thousand-people-singing videos or kumzitzim  you see on Youtube, is that everyone has a part. Everyone has a note that they bring. Some have highs, some have lows, some are hoarse, some are tearful and others are joyful. Some are weak, some are strong, some are cantorial and others are raps and beats. There are horns, there are trombones, there’s the bass and there’s the violin and even the harmonica and accordion. Yet they all blend together. They are all singing the same tune. They all become one and then The One can reveal Himself in that glory. That’s Rosh Hashana.

 Do you know what that choir sounds like- think back to Nesaneh Tokef again- some are by fire, some are by water. Some are rich and some are poor. Some have life, some death, some will be calm and peaceful and others will move and be uplifted. It’s a harmony. It’s a song. It’s the geulah. That’s the day that we are heading into. There is no shofar, because that shofar on Shabbos is already within us bursting to come out and sing. Our avoda though is to come to Hashem on this day and to write ourselves in that choir book of life, to say that we are ready to take our place and bring out our song.

 Do you know what the book of life looks like? It’s a music book with musical notes written in it. It’s a symphony book. The note of your soul is waiting to be written inside. The Conductor is checking us in one-by-one. We don’t mention our sins and beg forgiveness, perhaps because although Rosh Hashana is a day of teshuva, the process to that teshuva is first finding the song within ourselves and taking our place in that heavenly choir. After we do that, we begin to work on improving or cleansing our voices for the pristine day of Yom Kippur. Because on Yom Kippur is when the orchestra ultimately will play with Hashem at it’s helm.

When Moshe asked Hashem how he would get forgiveness for the nation on that Yom Kippur after the sin of the golden calf, the Talmud quotes Rebbi Yochanan who taught that Hashem put on a Talis and passed before Moshe and taught him the 13 attributes of mercy.

 Hashem, Hashem, Kel Rachum V’Chanun… Do you know what it means that He wrapped Himself in a talis and passed before him? It means Hashem Himself was the chazan. He led the service. He takes all those broken flawed pieces and brings them together in the song of the world; the song of teshuva, the song of Shabbos.

 Its 5784 years since that song has been sung. In Hebrew it will be Taf Shin Peh Daled. Every year has it’s roshei teivot and its acronyms. Well, Taf Shin Peh Daled is that this year should finally be – Tehei Shenat -the year of Pisukei Di’zimra- when we finally sing those songs. When the whole world will sing the song of Shabbos. The Choir is ready. It’s time for the Conductor to take His place at the center.

  Shana Tova U’Mesuka- a sweet blessed New Year to all of you,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Zingen ken ich nit, ober a maiven bin ich.” - I can’t sing, but I’m an expert on it.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

6. The name of the Jewish Necropolis which was declared a world heritage site, is___________.

What is the name of the box from the Second Temple period which was intended for collecting

bones?

A. Sarcophagus

B. Collector

C. Ossuary

D. Mausoleum

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/hashem-melech-r-ephraim-fina   – In honor of Rosh Hashana the day of our King- take a listen to my amazing Hashem Melech composition with Dovid Lowy on arrangements and vocals

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwHO7Gpf0mI  – This is possibly one of the coolest videos I have ever seen- Lost Yom Kippur War Carlebach footage spliced together with Eli Levin today singing Ani Maamin- must watch… amazing

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pScbYtDTaXU  - It’s not often that my friend Moishe Mendlowitz puts out a song, but whenever he does, you know I’m gonna love it… especially when he teams up with Naftali Kempeh… beautiful Ma Enosh

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDR3ROWCMD4   - Gad Elbaz Netanel Yisrael- Kol Hatefillot for Rosh Hashana

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0fLQr9pBrQ   –Shwekey, Fried, MBD and Shira choir… can it get better? Yes! They’re singing oldies… Can’t stop enjoying this one…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pKFECje2jw  – Kobi Brumer singing Selichos Ymaim Noraim Kumzitz… yes!!

 

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The Child King - 677 BC (3083 from Creation)- I love when this column works out with the timely events and occasions of the week. I really don’t plan it that way, but this week and next week (a little teaser there…) are what we in yeshiva would say are Inyana D’Yoma- the matters of the day. This week we have the new king Yoash or Yehoash that takes the reigns of the kingdom of Yehuda, after Yehoyada the Kohen Gadol made sure to get rid of the wicked queen Athalia who had taken us down the tubes spiritually. Yoash is 7 years old when he takes over and he will reign for 40 years. His reign is a mere 155 years since Shlomo his great great great great grandfather built the Temple. In those few generations the Temple had fallen into disarray. Athalia discouraged people from donating to it and according to some she even cleaned out the treasury all to build her temples of the Baal. It was time for a new beginning.

 

The first order of Yoash’s order was to restore the Mikdash to its glory days. He created a fantastic system wherein the half shekel coins that people had stopped donating would come to the Kohanim rather than directly to the Temple and then the Kohanim would be responsible to fix up and take care of all of the renovations for the Mikdash. It was a system that empowered the Kohanim but that also put a big responsibility upon them. And it was one that they didn’t really live it up. 23 years into his kingship things were still pretty shlocky in the Temple and it was time for a new change and system. And thus the pushka came into play; the first charity box of Klal Yisrael.

 

What did Yoash do? He put up two pushkas one when you came into the Temple and one right there by the Mizbayach. I know that some people don’t like when they come to the Kotel or other holy sites in Israel and they get “hit up” by all of the local beggars. Well, this is where it all started. Imagine coming with you sacrifice to the Beit HaMikdash and right away before you walked through the door there was a pushka to put money in with a Kohen guard watching over it. And then even afterwards when you approach the Altar to bring your sacrifice you had to make your little “pidyon” there for the Mikdash once again. Pretty amazing… And the people gave and the money that flowed in was collected and counted each day and given to all of the builders and reonvators and the leftover funds were used for sacrifices and vessels for the mikdash. And thus the charity box came into existence.

 

In many ancient synagogues in Israel from the period of the Mishna and Talmud we found remains of Pushkas near the Bima that money was deposited in as well. It seems you got your Aliyah and then made a donation. In Masada, in Arbel, I believe in Susya in the South and in Marot here in the Upper Galil they found one full of coins in it. This is as well probably the source for the misheberachs with money we make until today with aliyahs.

 

Now I said this was a timely subject. That’s not just because on Rosh Hashan we have the New King and we read about Yoash’s new kingdom and era of rededication and holiness, and of course Rosh Hashana we are all in the Kingship mode and Temple mode. But it’s because of the fundraising campaign that we have undergoing in our shul at this end of the year… have you contributed yet… See, Hashem wants to send you a reminder… the links are below. Connect to Jewish History and get one more merit at this end of the year.. and who knows? Maybe in that merit Hashem will let you and all of us participate in the building of the Bais Hamikdash this year as well.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE ORCHESTRA/ CHOIR JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 

After an orchestra drummer performed particularly poorly, the conductor sarcastically told him, "When they find someone who can't play any instrument, they give him two sticks and make him the drummer."

The drummer retorted, "and if he can't play that either, they take away one stick and make him the conductor."

 

The violinists in an orchestra don’t do much. They just fiddle around

 

All last night, it sounded like my neighbors were practicing for their part in an orchestra. I had to call the police to report domestic violins.

 

I would like to put on record my appreciation for the guys who play the triangle in orchestras.

Thanks for every “ting”.

 

A man walks into his orchestra rehearsal carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument. The conductor asks him “Will you need any sheet music?”

The man replies, “Nah, I’ll play it by ear.”

 

If lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to get hit? The conductor.

 

A conductor is getting an orchestra together for a performance but having trouble finding a clarinet player. Finally, he calls a contractor who tells him "Well, the only guy I've got available at this moment is this jazz clarinetist.”

The conductor replies "I can't stand working with jazz musicians! They dress lousy, they're always late, and they all have an attitude problem.”

“Well" replies the contractor "that's all I've got.”

“All right," says the conductor, "I'm getting pretty desperate, so I guess I'll have to take him.”

 

The first rehearsal is a week later. The conductor arrives early and notices the new clarinetist, wearing a suit and tie, with a pencil on his stand, sitting on stage practicing his part. During the rehearsal, the clarinetist plays his part quite well, and is responsive to all the conductor's requests. At the second rehearsal, a week later, the same thing happens. This time, the clarinetist turns in a nearly perfect performance. One week later, at the final dress rehearsal, this occurs again, with the clarinetist now playing his part flawlessly.

 

At the break in the rehearsal, the conductor says to the orchestra "I've got an apology to make. I was really dreading having to work with a jazz musician, but I must say that our clarinet player has certainly proved me wrong. He is always neatly dressed, he was always here early for the rehearsals, working on the part, and he has really learned the music.”

 

Then, to the clarinet player he says "I just wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate your effort and dedication.”

 

To which the clarinetist replies "Hey man, it's the least I can do, considering I can't make it to the show.”  {What a very teefeh vort… and Mussar…}

 

The sound from an orchestra on stage is designed to bounce around the auditorium walls to surround the audience. The sound from a Pigeon on stage does not do this...The reason is a Coo sticks.... (oyy… this is possibly the worst joke I wrote all year…)

 

The orchestra one evening was playing a song that was noted for being on the lower side of the musical spectrum. As they played through the night, the conductor would on occasion shoot an angry glare at one of the musicians. After a few of these glares, the musician leans over to his fellow and whispers, "I think I'm in Treble."

 

.********************************

The answer to this week”s question is C – Beit Shearim is one of my favorite sites in Israel. And that was even before it became Unesco recognized in 2015. Besides the fact that most people have never been there which is always a great place to start, as well this is a city where the Sanhedrin sat, and it even has the kever of Rebbi  Yehudah HaNasi. Yeah… it’s an important site. Unesco recognized it because it’s the largest burial site in the Middle East from the 2^nd Temple period. Now the process of burial back then was a two part process, The body was placed in a sarcophagi- a flesh eating coffin or a grave usually in a cave. After a year the bones were taken out and placed in an ossuary- the correct answer which is a small box where the bones would be placed into and then moved to a family plot or cave called a ma’asafa- or collector which is a really lousy translation. The mausoleum is the buildings where they hosted these bodies and Beit Shearim has a bunch of them. So another one right and  the score is now Rabbi Schwartz having a 4.5 point and the MOT having 1.5 point as we start this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

 

Soldiers and Sheep- Parshat Nitzavim-Vayelech 5783- 2023

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 8^th, 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 48 22^nd of Elul 5783

 

Parshat Nitzavim- Va’Yelech

Soldiers and Sheep

“Men to the right. Women to the left”. When the words came out of Ari’s mouth there was an awkward silence. Here he was standing on the hills of Judea with a gun tucked comfortably in his belt and standing before a group of about 20 German couples and singles. But these weren’t “stam” Germans. These were grandchildren of former Nazis that were standing before him. What were they doing there? Ari himself wasn’t exactly sure. It was as if he was still in a dream. A dream that was in fact the fulfillment of the prophecies that Isaiah, Yirmiya and Tzidkiya had seen so many millennia ago.

 See, Ari was a nice boy from Texas who together with his partner Jeremy had decided that it was time to not only live the dream of moving to Israel, but in fact to become part of creating the dream of settling the land where the dream had not yet actualized. They came out to the hilltops on the outskirts of Judea and Jerusalem, on the mountains that overlook the Dead Sea and Jordan, right on the top of Nachal Arugot in Ein Gedi. But wayyyy on top. There they lived for months in caravans without electricity or running water and with the permission of the government set up shop for their new homes. They were settling the land and they had dreams.

 The government had given them these permits not as a residential living, as the rest of the world gets all nervous when Jews settle in our ancestral homeland. Rather they were there to create a tourist visitors site that would protect the governments nature reserve from the illegal Arab and Bedouin encroachment. They were “rangers” if you will who were permitted to live on site with their families, as their presence would prevent the Arabs from taking over more and more of the hilltops with their sheep and illegal settlements. The world really didn’t have a problem with the Arabs doing that it seems.

 Over the last few years Ari, Jeremy, Yossi and one other friend of theirs have built and created a virtual paradise there. They have lovely homes, there is a natural modern ecological pool that is so so cool and looks like Gan Eden. They have vineyards, olive orchards and herds of sheep and goats they raise and shepherd in the same hills that King David did.

 Their next big project was the shul that they had dreamed of building, and they weren’t sure how they were going to make it happen. That was at least until Klaus and his friends pulled up to their hilltop in their bus and introduced themselves. They told him that they were a small group of descendants of Nazi’s that were carpenters and handymen, and they are haunted and horrified of the atrocities committed by their grandparents and their countrymen. They understood that they could never set things right. Yet, they felt that if in some way they could be part of building and restoring the nation that their ancestors had attempted to destroy, that it would in someway serve as a restoration of justice and an atonement for themselves. It would break them free of this cycle of terror and horror that their zaydies committed against ours. And thus, they were offering their services to have any part and be allowed to participate in settling the furthest new Jewish settlement in Judea.

 “Bitte- please.. allow us to help.” Allow us to restore you.  

 And so they did. The shul was being built rock by rock that was quarried out of these ancient hills at the summit of the hill. The highest point of the settlement as a shul was meant to be built at. The women that had joined the group were charged with clearing the lower hills and planting the vineyards and olive orchards. And so, Ari, found himself giving those instructions after breakfast and their daily Torah study where he shared with them the words of the prophets they were actualizing. The words of the children of Esau/ Edom joining with the descendants of Yishmael and building homes and places of worship in the 2000-year barren and desolate hills of Yehuda that were once full of laughter and life.

 “Men to the right- up the hill to the shul and women to the left down to the fields.”.

 Those directions and division that had meant the death of 6 million of our ancestors, that divided up families, were now being used to rebuild. Pakod Pakadati- Hashem had brought us home and turned the curse into the blessing. The Nazi grandchildren appreciated the irony. A burst of laughter sounded out and Am Yisrael Chai was heard and sung and echoed through these ancient hilltops once again.

 This week’s two Torah portions, the last to be read this year before Rosh Hashna next Shabbos, begin with a list of our entire nation standing before Moshe and entering into the covenant; the bris between us and Hashem.

 Atem nitzavim Hayom kulchem- You are all standing today, all of you-

Leaders, elders, officers, men, women, children, converts from the most educated to the simplest, from the most knowledgeable to the most ignorant. All of us.

 L’avrechah b’bris Hashem Elokecha u’valaso- to pass us through the covenant of Hashem our God and his oath.

What does it mean to pass us through a covenant? Rashi notes this strange phrase and describes it as the ancient way that treaties were made. They would have a demarcation on two sides and then the parties would walk between the divide. One by one…

 The great Chasidic Rebbi Reb Kloynamus Kalman Epstien known better by his incredible sefer that he wrote the Me’or V’Shemesh, points out that we don’t find anywhere, in fact that we passed through a covenant of this sort. As well he notes that the proper grammatical terminology would be the plural “l’avrechem- that we pass through”, rather than the singular l’avrechah. Just as the previous verse utilizes the  plural form of ‘atem’ and ‘kulchem’.

 He answers with an insight that he had heard from his Rebbi, the Toldos Yaakov Yosef, that the ‘Ha’yom- today’ that the verse is referring to is Rosh Hashana. It is on Rosh Hashana that we pass through a line each year on this day, as we know and recite in Nesaneh Tokef we

 Overim lifanecha K’vnei maron- we pass before You like the children of Maron.

Like sheep going through the gate of the shepherd and being counted, the Talmud tells us.

 Yet fascinatingly enough the Talmud tells us that when that count happens, we are all surveyed

Ba’sekira achas- with one glance. In one judgement.

 What does that mean? Are we being judged individually? Are we walking through one-by-one? Or are we all looked at together. Are we all in the same boat?

 Whenever I say these words on Rosh Hashanah-and I don’t think this is only true for me, I believe that the vivid imagery of the judgement on this day of Rosh Hashana conjures up not just sheep going through a gate, but us each standing on line.

 Men to the right women to the left- or at least on Rosh Hashana it’s righteous to the right and sinners to the left. It’s one by one. We’re standing before the King and awaiting to see what our judgment will be this year. Who will live and who will die. Who by fire and who by water. Who will be rich and who will be poor, who will get married, who will be born, who will have peace, tranquility and nachas and who nebach won’t… We’re on the defendants stand and frighteningly we know we’re guilty as sin.

 It’s what our nation felt after we heard all the curses and punishments in last week’s parsha of the tochacha that is always read two weeks before Rosh Hashana. It’s the parsha when we got on line right out of the cattle cars and one by one faced the judge, the “Doctor”, the King, that would be pointing to the right or the left. There are guards standing on both sides of us. There’s no where to run and hide. We just make our way to the front of the line and await our fate. Our judgement…We passed through the Bris- that covenant of fire and fear- the oath and the curses we would be subjected to for not following the commandments when we read the parsha last week and we do that ‘Ha’Yom’.- each Rosh Hashana. Like sheep to the slaughter.

 Yet this week the parsha tells us that we are still standing. Each and everyone of us on that line. And Moshe tells us that there is another way to look at that line that we are on. It’s not a death gauntlet. We haven’t fallen. We haven’t gone to the chambers. We are standing tall and proud. And we are standing together. Rather the line that we are standing on and walking between is a red carpet where the soldiers of King David are walking down to greet the King.

 The Talmud tells us that there is another interpretation of the word Bnai Maron. Rashi on that Talmud explains that it is a term of royalty- Mar or adon- great men. When we are marching together on Rosh Hashana then we are as well passing through a crowd lined up on both sides. Yet it is not a concentration camp line but rather it is as if we are standing and marching on the airport tarmac where the presidential Air Force One plane is landing. The King is going to becoming off that plane and we are marching one-by-one down the aisle to greet Him.

When we march like that than despite the fact that some of us are Rabbis, some are scholars, some are saints and some are sinners. Some are old and some are young, some are wood choppers and others are in Hi-Tech, or are tour guides, falafel makers, taxi drives, or even- dare I say members of the Knesset. Yet, we are all viewed and judged as one. It’s one big green army of Dovid that is marching together- singularly passing through that line.

 Do you know who is standing on the sides that we are passing through? It is the nations of the world. It is the media. It is the United Nations. It is the grandchildren of Nazis. They are watching and waiting for us to reveal the King.

 The Me’or Va’Shemesh homiletically reads the words

Sekira achas- that we are all being surveyed if we are revealing the achas- the Oneness of our mission.

The Oneness of our King. The Oneness of the world that connects us all together. When we do that then the entire world will join us. They will build our shuls, our palaces, the Bais Ha’Mikdash will be the “bais tefilla l’kol ha’amim- the place of worship and connection for all nations. His Kingdom will reign on the entire world, as our prayers on Rosh Hashana repeatedly pine for.

 Yet, it is even deeper than that. Do you know what language we speak in this country of ours? Hebrew. The word Hebrew comes of course from the ivrit which of course is a reference to the first title our forefather was given Avraham Ha’ivri- Abraham the Hebrew. Why is he called a Hebrew? The famous Rashi there tells us that he was one side- eyver ,while the rest of the world was on the other… Fascinatingly enough this happened in the dor haflaga- the generation of the “great Divide”, when the world was building a tower to rage war against the One God. They were as well trying to bridge the divide but to destroy the one-ness of Hashem from revealing itself in this world.

 Their punishment? There would be different languages that would be spoken. There would not be one united language that would connect us to Hashem. Each of them would go on to creating gods within their own individual images. Language and words of course being the method that Hashem created the world. Hashem did that in Hebrew- in Lashon Ha’Kodesh. There one Hebrew left though. Avraham Ha’ivri was on the other side and we his descendants were chosen to carry on that legacy and that holy language.

 Yet perhaps there is another reason that he and therefore we are called Hebrews. Perhaps he was thus named because he was the first one to be ohver in the bris- he passed through the covenant of the pieces, when Hashem promised him that his descendants- us, would inherit the land after our exile to Egypt. Avraham is the one that proudly passes through the two sides and unites the world under the one King, and we his descendants as well pass through that same treaty.

 Our history is one of passing through the sides. We passed through the two sides of the sea when we left Egypt and we passed through the Jordan River when it split as well upon entering the land. The parsha repeatedly uses this word- check it out. We are being charged to march forward, while on the right and left us Creation and the nations of the world stand at attention. Va’yavo Melech Ha’kavod- and the King of Glory will then come down.

 We never went like sheep to the slaughter in the Holocaust. The proud nation of Hashem went into the gas chambers between the lines of our enemies singing Ani Maamin with total faith. Story after story, book after book have been written and told of these “soldiers of the army of Dovid” that marched forward declaring Shema Yisrael with their final words…on this world. Yet, eternally those words were now being spoken here in Judea by the descendants of these same monsters who tried to destroy us. Returned to the land of Avraham Ha’ivri’s descendants.

 This is the final parsha that we read before Rosh Hashana when we again line up like sheep to be counted. Ari counts his sheep every day to make sure that none of them have been stolen or missing. They are holy sheep that are settling the land-as fascinatingly enough even the local Arabs and Bedouin thieves respect that each settler is allowed land for their personal grazing, and they will not encroach upon it. They recognize that only because we have returned as Bnai Maron, as shepherds and as soldiers. We have come to settle, come to live, but more importantly we have come to build shuls, to build a palace for Hashem. We have come to declare Hashem Echad and the children of Esau and Yishmael will join us. They are standing on the sidelines waiting for us all to unite. For this Rosh Hashana to be the final one, when we are just reimagining the service in the Temple.

  Sometimes it takes tragedy and curses fulfilled to make us realize that we are all one and all soldiers. We’ve had plenty of those and yet we are still standing. We read last parsha, our sages tell us, in order to fulfill the curses through our reading. Tichleh shana v’kililoseha- the year should end as should its curses and tragedies. We read this week’s parsha to remind us that those curses and tragedies that united us will have the power to transform us from sheep to soldiers. We’re Hebrews. We’re Yisrael. Now we just need our King.

 Have an amazing last Shabbos of the year,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Az men shert di shaf, tsitteren di lemmer” - When the sheep are shorn, the lambs tremble

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

 

5. The name of the emperor in whose name the port of Caesarea was founded, is___________.

According to the scripture, which of the following occurred in Caesarea?

A. The surrendering of Flavius Josephus (Yosef ben Matityahu)

B. Peter's vision

C. The execution of Rabbi Akivah

D. The baptism of Paul (Paulus)

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqSgW9t7Br0  – Check out my friend Ari and his buddies here in Chaan Arugot and the views… and their stories…

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ponecha-your-face - It’s here... My latest Elul composition… I don’t know how you found any meaning in this month without this song…Dovid Lowy arrangements and Vocals amazing hartzig!! Listen again and again every day of Elul left..

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey  - Maybe you experienced  Elul with song until now- as well the extra psalm we add l’dovid… enjoy my Lulay He’amanti..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efe9cvtZUts  –The Lubavitcher Rebbi on Shabbos before Rosh Hashana

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh8J2YQUb_E   – But to be honest.. Eitan Katz really as the song of the week with his Ki Karov…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sYZTrakX7Y    – Singing Shuvi Nafshi by the grave of Reb Shlomo where I was this past week…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The King’s Watch- As we said last week, Athalia the wicked daughter of Achav ruled for 7 years after wiping out her own grandchildren that would’ve taken her place. Yet, Yehoash the child of Achazya is hidden by his aunt and guarded over by the High Priest Yehoyada in the Temple. At age 7 it was time for him to take the kingdom. In order to make this happen Yehoyada needed allies and for that he called up the Kohanim of the watch to protect the new king.

 

Going back to the times of Moshe we are told that there were shifts of Kohanim that would serve in the Mishkan and then the Beit Ha’Mikdash. Moshe established 8, Shmuel another 8 and ultimately Dovid established the final 8 making the total of 24. Each Mishmar would serve for a half a month from Shabbos to Shabbos and they would be charged with doing the service in the Temple. Each of the Mishmarot would be divided up by families called Ma’amados so that everyone would get a chance to serve. It was these groups that Yehoyada marshalled to his cause. He took some of the Mishmar Kohanim from the previous week as well as the ones not serving in the Mikdash. They divided the groups up to guard the Temple, the palace gates and to keep a lookout. And with the king protected the reign could be declared.

 

The Mishmarot were a very significant part of our life and Judaism that we lost. In the times of the return of Ezra and Nechemia only 4 families returned from Galus. Can you imagine that? Staying in Exile when you have the opportunity not only to return to Israel, but to even serve in the Mikdash. Even after the destruction of the Temple, when most of the Mishmarot moved up North to the Galil we find that the synagogues from the periods of the Temple contained Mosaic floors with the names of the Mishmarot. Shuls with those inscriptions were found in Ashkelon, Caesarea, and in Kissufim and even in a shul found in Yemen!

 

As well, although we’re probably only familiar with the mishmarot and their names from a piyyut or two on Tisha B’Av, yet we have found throughout the generations many piyyutim that seemed to be dedicated to the Mishmarot that were regularly recited. In the period of the Rishonim they were recited each Shabbos. And in the famous Cairo Geniza there were piyyutim that dated back to the Byzantine period that were recited.

 

Now although we like to think of Kohanim of the Mishmar as being holy priest dedicated with the spiritual. Here we find that they become Priests with guns. They’re given weapons and put on the guard of the new king. Yet, this shouldn’t be a wonder though. The Kohanim and tribe first of Levi first got their job by taking up the swords after the sin of the Golden Calf and killing their fellow brothers who had sinned. The service of Hashem demands full dedication and putting your life on the line is what gets them their job. As well the Chashmonaim are Kohanim and perhaps that’s why as well l’havdil the Crusaders stole and distorted the concept from.

 

Yet here, they do what they need to and next week we will welcome the new king.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE JEWISH SOLDIER JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 

A general asks a Dudi his new recruit in the army . “Young soldier, what will you do if you see 20 soldiers coming to attack you? T

Dudi answered “that I would take an Uzi and shoot them”.

The general asks him what if a tank is coming to kill you?

I would take a rocket launcher and defend myself replied the young soldier.

The general asks him what if you see tanks, terrorists and planes together?

The soldier says, general, am I the only one in the army?

 

Berel, Yankel and Moishe are about to be executed by firing squad. The sergeant in charge asks each one whether he wants a blindfold.

“Yes,” says Berle, in a resigned tone.

“OK,” says Yankel, in a quiet voice.

“And what about you?” he enquires of Moishe.

“No,” he says, “I don’t want your lousy blindfold,” followed by a few choice curses.

 Yankel immediately leans over to him and whispers: “Listen, Moshe, take a blindfold. Don’t make trouble.”

 

The commanding officer at the Russian military academy gave a lecture on Potential Problems and

Military Strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions. An officer stood up and asked, "Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?"

The general answered both questions in the affirmative.

Another officer asked, "Who will be the enemy?"

The general replied, "All indications point to China ."

Everyone in the audience was shocked. A third officer remarked, "General, we a nation of only 150 million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese. Can we win at all, or even survive?"

The general answered, "Just think about this for a moment: In modern warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters but the quality of an army’s capabilities. For example, in the Middle East we have had a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs, and

Israel was always victorious."

After a small pause, yet another officer from the back of the auditorium asked, "Do we have enough Jews???"

 

 

During the Six-Day War, the enemies of Israel identified a hill of great strategic importance, and when they realized it was guarded by a lone Israeli soldier, they sent in a platoon to attack immediately. Thirty minutes later, the whole platoon had been captured by the lone Israeli.

As they were being led away, their lieutenant remarked,

“I gotta admit, you Israelis are tough.”

“You think I’m tough? You should meet my husband!”

 

Deep in the desert. Mehmet, an Arab fighter (or militant, if you will) chases an Israeli soldier, let's call him Moshe, with an AK47 gun. Mehmet closes on Moshe and starts firing at him but misses. The chase continues through the desert, there's quite a lot of firing from Mehmet and quite a lot of bullet dodging from Moshe. At one point Mehmet's gun refuses to fire - Mehmet's out of ammunition.

Moshe hears the clicking of the empty gun, turns triumphantly to Mehmet and says: "Out of bullets, huh? Wanna buy some?"

 

Rabbi Landau was, as usual, standing near the shul exit shaking hands as his congregation left. But as Max was leaving, Rabbi Landau grabbed his hand, pulled him aside and said, "Max, I think you need to join the Army of God!"

"But I'm already in God’s Army, Rabbi," said Max.

"So how come I don't see in shul except on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?" said Rabbi Landau.

Max whispered, "I'm in the secret service."

 

Berel was a new oleh who just enlisted in the army and after a few weeks was feeling kind of homesick and asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.

The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked,

"How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"

 

.********************************

The answer to this week”s question is C – Got this one right, but not necessarily because I knew the correct answer. As far as the fill-in-the-blank portion, I just went with Agustus. When in doubt Agustus is a good guess. There were a few of them. The correct answer was Augustus Octavius, but believe just answering Augustus is good enough. As far as part two of the question. So of course I knew that Rabbi Akiva was killed there. I guide there all the time. Many of the Harugie Malchus were murdered there in the amphitheater to the blood-thirsty crowds that watched lustily. Yet, the question said scripture and Rabbi Akia is certainly not in scripture, so that’s what gave me pause as I thought it might have been a trick question.

 

Yet, surprisingly since I knew that Josephus’s surrender took place in Yodefat, Peter’s supposed vision was by the Banias, and Paul was most likely I guessed toiveled in the Jordan River (although I was wrong about that one- it was in Damascus), so by process of elimination I went with Rabbi Akiva and assumed that they made a mistake in translation of the question to English writing scripture rather than just writings. And I was correct. So I got this right and feel kind of weird that I knew all the xtian answers- well at leasat I got the Paul one wrong… So BH I deleted some of the info from my brain… on the other hand maybe I never really got it in the first place. So the score is now Rabbi Schwartz having a 3.5 point and the MOT having 1.5 point as we start this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.