Karmiel

Karmiel
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Showing posts with label Re'eh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Re'eh. Show all posts

Friday, August 7, 2026

Seeing and Believing- Parshat Re'eh 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 7th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 40 24th of Av 5786

 

Parshat Re'eh

 Seeing and Believing

Click here below for print edition

(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Re'eh  )

 

It's tour guiding season in Israel. I'm working Baruch Hashem. It's nice to be back out there after quite a hiatus, perhaps even the longest I remember since this war started and even in Corona. But eh boyz are back in town. It's amazing. It's fun and exciting and of course inspiring.

 

See, one of the reasons I became a tour guide, besides that I realized very quickly that being a Rabbi and having a shul here in Israel is going to cost me money rather than pay my family's bills, is because I'm a pretty lazy, selfish guy who is desperate for inspiration in life. It's pretty much the same reason I went into the field of Jewish outreach in America for 15 years. I wanted to be inspired by my yiddishkeit and I have no patience or interest in learning Mussar or really working on myself. So I figured the best way to be inspired is to interact, teach and be challenged by others who have never been exposed to the incredible beauty, wisdom and inspiration that is in our faith. They also haven't yet been jilted and stymied or exposed to the many not nice things and underbelly of our frum society as well. They lived in Iowa and Virginia after-all.

 

I figured I could suck off all of their inspiration and then grow and develop and heighten my own inspiration and appreciation of my own yiddishkeit by sucking it off of them, and the things I would teach them. It worked I loved it. And thus upon moving to Israel  I took the same concept and went into the field of tour guiding.  I didn't want to become one of those that find the myriad of things to complain about in this country. I wanted to be inspired daily. And what better way to do that, then to find a job that would enable me to share the passion and inspiration of Hashem's holy land with those that have never experienced or seen it before. And there you have it… My new career was found.

 

Now perhaps one of the most remarkable and amazing things and usually the first thing I point out to my tourists is as we're leaving Jerusalem the incredible miracle that they need to open their eyes up and see. I ask them, what the national bird of Israel is. This was in fact the first and only real joke I remember when I was a little 8-year-old tourist in Israel with my parents. That, and of course all the graves he shlepped us to pray by. The answer he gave us was that the bird is the crane. See, everywhere you look in Jerusalem you will see cranes- the machine kind of course, just putting up taller and bigger sky scrapers, buildings and houses. It's not just Jerusalem though. It's everywhere. It's nuts. The last two years it seems this country has gone crazy. Everywhere you drive, Afula, Beit Shean, Netanya, Nahariya, Akko even in Sderot and Ofakim and Netivot by the Gaza Strip. Entire cities are just rising out of the ground overnight, it feels like. 10's of thousands of housing units. I don't know who's buying or building them all. It's crazy.

 

It almost feels like this nesting thing that my wife had before our kids were born. The house is getting ready. We need new rooms. New beds. New closets. The baby is coming. Seem's like the land knows that there's a lot of Jews on the way over here soon. The land it seems is a bit smarter then some of those that are still building additions on their home over there. Which is kind of like adding on to your maternity ward in the hospital and fixing it up, where the new baby is. Which is pretty stupid, if you ask me, cause he ain't staying there for too long. I hope. You ain't either, by the way in Tom's River or Jackson or Lakewood. I'm not even gonna say New York, because the smart ones are already in Florida.

 

But its more than just miraculous. It's historic as well. See, a hundred years ago, none of this ever existed. When I take my tourists out of Jerusalem through what I call the "space tunnels" towards he Judean Midbar, or to the Gush, I point out that it feels like we went through a space warp and landed on another planet with pretty much empty hills and mountains and desert. Yet, what I point out to them is that about a hundred years ago this is what Yerushalayim looked like. Those forsesty hills and mountains as you drive out of Jerusalem towards Mevaseret over there, that's what Givat Shaul and Har Nof looked like. That desert valley with the Bedouins and their goats, that was Ramot. That tall hill over there near Efrat with the agricultural terraces that, was what Bakka looked like, Bayit v'Gan. That's why when you walk around in Jerusalem you're always walking up and down hills. Because that's what this was. And in 100 years it's a metropolis rivaling NY, Paris and London. That's a miracle. That's what we've done with it and they haven't.

 

But it's not just a miracle or Jewish ingenuity and productivity. It's prophecies that were said thousands of years ago unfolding. Imagine if we were in Egypt and Moses said there was going to be blood in the river and then we saw it happen, that would be watching a miracle. Same for frogs, dead animals and first borns. Same for the splitting of the Sea. It's watching those prophecies be fulfilled. On the other hand of the spectrum imagine hearing Isaiah and Yirmiyahu talking about the exile of the Ten Tribes and the destruction of the Temple happening. Things that we thought could never happen. I mean, today, for some reason Jews think we can never get thrown out of America. It's the one place in 2000 years of history that it will not happen. After-all there's a bill of rights. Uh huh…

 

But imagine Jews back then by the times of the Temple in Yerushalayim. They for sure thought that it could never happen. Hashem would never destroy his own palace. He would never chuck us out. This was our home. He had promised it to our Patriarchs. Sure we weren't really keeping the Torah and our side of the deal, yet, come on. Hashem's not really gonna chuck us. And then it happened. We were exiled. The Temple was destroyed. The Jews saw the prophecies fulfilled. Hashem may have a lot of patience, but ultimately, we used it all up. And we saw every single word of those prophecies fulfilled, with bloody whipped cream on top.

 

Well, today, we're seeing the same prophecies being fulfilled. We're Rabbi Akiva who watched those foxes jumping out of the Temple Mount and laughed, because he only believed it was a sign that the future prophecies would be fulfilled. We're seeing it. Boys and girls laughing and singing on the streets of a rebuilt and populated city. Brides and grooms getting married in the hills of Yerushalayim. Torah returns to Zion. The nation being ingathered from the four corners of the earth. When Hashem was showing Yeshaya the prophet the vision of Messianic times he was literally showing him the exact image my tourists are looking out their window from our nice air-conditioned minibus. How's that for a tour. It's virtual reality glasses of what Hashem showed Yirmiyahu that we don't need special glasses to see. It's right outside our window.

 

Which brings us to this week's parsha. The parsha titled Re'eh-See. It's fascinating, that there is no Zohar on this week's Torah portion. The Zohar always uses the words ta chazei- come and see. That is different than our Talmud which uses the term ta shema- come and see. The difference between seeing and hearing is that hearing- or shema is an act of internalizing. It's taking information and processing it and making it part of our being and our core. Seeing doesn't require internalization. All it takes is opening one's eyes; cleaning your glasses. Last week, Hashem tells us about the land that we will go to. There's a lot of Shema going on. There's internalizing the punishments for not following the commandments of no rain and destruction and there's the rewards for keeping the mitzvos. It's a parsha that told us to remember our history, the sins, the mistakes, the revelation of Sinai. It's one that tells us to process the miracles that we witnessed of how Hashem helped us destroy our enemies and the need to find the strength and fortitude to come to the land and continue that job of inheriting it and cleansing it. It's a lot of hearing and internalizing.

 

This week's parsha though is not about that at all. It's about seeing what's in front of us. Things that you may miss. Thing's that you may find hard to believe. Things that may not even make any sense and seem counterintuitive. But it's there. It's in front of you. It's like these big cranes that you can't miss. But you're not realizing are miraculous. It's the good and the bad that is very clear in front of you. It's life and death. All you have to do is open your eyes and see it.

 

What's amazing though, is that what Moshe Rabbeinu is telling the nation to see, they can't see it yet. They're not there. They're not by the mountains of Blessing and Curse. They're not in the land Hashem promised them. He's telling them to see, but seemingly there's nothing yet to see. The answer though is that he's not talking to them. He's talking to us. He's telling us to see. He's telling us to process. He's telling us to stop burying our head in the ground. He wants us to open our eyes.

 

What does he want us to see? See the land has idols. See the land has Churches. See the land has bad enemies that will try to kill us. Do you see that? I see that. Anyone that drives around Jerusalem sees that. All we need to do is look up to the top of that burnt retaining wall of the Temple Mount, that we call the Kotel and that we pray to and we see that. So there we go. Yes, Moshe, we see it. What should we do about that?

 

Kill them. Destroy them. Wipe them out. Burn them. Build me a Temple when you're done and shine out my light to the world. Seek out my holy place. Bring me sacrifices. Visit Me on holidays. Be happy with Me. I am Hashem. I am your Father. You are My children. Even if you sin. I'm still your Dad. I want you to be with Me. Can you see that? Can you feel that? I'm bringing you to the Land. I've never lied to you before. I'm pretty strong and powerful. Don't close your eyes to Me. Don't close your eyes to who's Home this is. To whom I gave it to. Please Please see, the blessing. Please don't ignore what your eyes are seeing and find the curse instead.

 

The parsha continues with other things we need to merely see. There will be all types of false prophets and tempters that will try to show you fake news. They will tell you that you can't do this. That there are other "gods" you need to follow and listen to. Some are called Baal- they will act like your masters. Some are Asheira. Some are Trump. Some are the United Nations. Some are foreign concepts such as secularism, humanism, Americanism, pacifism. Don't worship them. Don't allow them to exist in your land. In our land. Destroy them. It's just AI. It's just fake news. It's just false gods. It's darkness not light. It's free Palestine. Don't let them blind you to what you see is happening out your window. See truth. Count how many fingers they have. It's all fake. They have six.

 

Take a look at the animal world. The Parsha continues. There are Kosher ones and non kosher ones. Really? Isn't food, food? The answer is no. Some are pure some are tamei. Some are good for you. Some will turn you into a beast. Some will block your eyesight. They have signs. See the signs. Recognize that they're there for a reason. To show you. To allow you to see. And then once you see that, then understand the same is true for the nations that will be in the land. The nations of world. There are some that will be kosher and some trayf. Some may be allowed to thrive and prosper with you and others need to be eradicated. Some will help you achieve your spiritual goals and others will just make you blocked. They need to be cut out. They need to be removed. Don't just put everything in your mouth. Don't just let anyone stay in your land.

 

As well and on the opposite extreme look at your brothers, sisters, converts, widows and downtrodden. Help them. Take care of them. Tithe for them. Support them. Share with them. The land isn't yours its ours. We're a family. Can't you see that? Can't you see that all of your success is only because I gave it to you. All your blessing and prosperity comes from me. Well, the same is true for their poverty. I gave it to them, so you could help them. So you could partner with me. So we could become one close family who is responsible and bound to one another. See, that. Don't be blinded by your ego. Don't think that it all just happened by itself. It's a prophecy. See it. It's in front of you.

 

Our tour is coming to an end. There's been a lot to see and process. The world is a different world than it was a few years ago. The movie in front of us and the vision Hashem is showing us is like the stormy sea of this week's haftorah that describes our Temple being built. The doors are started to close around the world, the smart ones see this and are getting out. The others not so much. Theres more and more terror building here in the West Bank. The world is slowly turning against us like it never has before. The last story is the US will as well. It's prophecy boys and girls. It's the same prophecy that says there will be a war against Iran/Persia and it will last nine months, which is coming to an end this Sukkos. Then the Edom will turn against us and the final battle over Jerusalem will take place. Much like the Jews in the wilderness, we haven't seen that last and final part yet. But we've seen all the rest. And usually, that's a good sign it will happen.

 

The Shabbos before Tisha B'av was called Shabbos Chazon. The visionary Shabbos, where our sages tell us that he who sees the Temple in its destruction and mourns it will merit to see it being rebuilt. Yet, to see it, we need to come to Parshat Re'eh. We need to open our eyes. The Temple is in front of us. We have everything we need to return it to us. We just need to act on what we see and have seen and we will have already been redeemed.

 

Have a perceptive Shabbos and a blessed upcoming month of Elul

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" Az men lebt, derlebt men zich alts.."- If you live long enough, you will live to see everything.


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

11. In which country was the oil pumped and transported via pipelines to the refineries in Haifa during the Mandate period? _____ 


Where is it recommended to take a tour regarding the life of Rachel the Poetess (Rachel Bluwstein)? 

A. The Moshava of Metula and nearby Nahal Ayun

B. The Moshava of Kinneret and the adjacent cemetery

C. Central Tel Aviv and the Trumpeldor cemetery

 D. The German Colony in Jerusalem and the Moon Grove 


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK


https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/eretz-tu-bishvat   – This week's parsha Rabbi Schwartz composition best song ever!!! You should be singing this song of the words of Hashem on the amazingness of Eretz Yisrael all week long!


https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/kum -  Every four steps you walk this Bein Hazmanim is a mitzva if you're doing it here! Kum Hithalech Ba'Aretz my song is based on yesterday's Daf of Hashem folding up all of Israel under Yaakov to teach us that the whole Israel is 4 Amos conquerable. Dovid Lowy did both of these songs arrangements and Vocals… Rock Em! 


 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnUk-oYYNLQ&list=RDBnUk-oYYNLQ&start_radio=1 s - Avraham Fried No Shtus…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blOaHJG7Y40&list=RDblOaHJG7Y40&start_radio=1  Aharon Razel Collab with Aviya- Me'Ata V'Ad Olam


https://24six.app/preview/music/content/448766/where-you-are   – Nissim Blacks and Eli Dachs collab Where you are!


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK



A Welfare State? -333 BC In addition to building the walls, Nechemia's next agenda was the social structure and the immense poverty that was taking place in Jerusalem. It seems that there was a two class system. There were the wealthy officers and a lot of poor who were getting poorer, as the rich took advantage and lent them money and then took their properties and children as slaves and collaterals. Nechemia'immediately put a stop to this terrible practice. He instituted a tzedaka system where the poor would be supported by the rich rather than through loans. Their land was all returned so that they can work and prosper and their children came home.

 

One would think that this would've brought a lot of resistance, however the prophet tells us that Nechemia inspired the people with his own actions and they all joined. They followed suit. The people were grateful and the nation was coming together.

 

Of course there remained the opposition, the troublemakers. Next week we will learn about Sanballat Ha'Chori who tried numerous times to stop Nechemia'and prevent our return from taking place. Where's he from Huwara, right near the Shomron and once again one of the most troublesome spots in Israel. Somethings never change.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE CONSTRUCTION JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

You guys wanna hear an Israeli construction joke? ..... hold on I'm working on it.

 

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.

 

Berel and Yankel got a job as construction workers and have spent the week working on a street

Berel turns to the Yanke and says,

“I don’t want to work anymore, I will act crazy so the manager sends me home early”.

He then proceeds to tie himself by the feet and swings around shouting,

“Im a lightbulb, I’m a lightbulb!”

Sure enough, the manager tells him to go home. Yankel, seeing the success his friend had, decided to start packing up his things.

The manager asks, “What are you doing? The work isn’t finished yet!”

To which the Yankel responds, “How am I supposed to see without a lightbulb?”

 

Me: I had to quit my construction job because I wasn’t strong enough for the work.

Friend: Did you give them your too weak notice?

 

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site...But when I got home, all the signs were there.

 

A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt.

The bartender asks: “What can I get you?”

The construction worker says “One beer for me, and one for the road.”

How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb? "No, that's all right. I'll just sit here in the dark."

 

What do they call it when two construction machines get into a physical altercation? A CAT fight

 

A frog applies for a construction job.

The engineer asks, "What can you do?"

"Rivet."

 

Little Chaim is selling lemonade by a construction site. His sign reads “1 cup for 25¢, 3 cups for $1

A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade.

"25 cents", says Chaim

The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each.

As the construction worker walks away, he turns around with a smile, and says: "Hey kid, you realize I just bought three cups for 75¢… Maybe lemonade stands aren’t your thing."

"I guess you're right" says Chaim good-naturedly as he sets up the next 3 cups.

 

David has done well for himself and is Mayor of a small town in Israel.

One day, David and his wife Ilana are walking past a construction site. Suddenly, one of the construction workers stops and calls out "What's new, Ilana?"

"Why, it's nice to see you again Avi," Ilana replies.

She turns to introduce David to the construction worker, and they speak for several minutes.

After David and Ilana continue on, he turns to her and asks how she knows Avi.

"Oh," Andrea said. "We went to the same high school. I even thought about marrying him."

David began to say. "You realise how lucky you are. If I hadn't come along, today you would be the wife of a construction worker!"

Ilana replied without hesitation, "Not really. If I had married him, he'd now be a Mayor!".

 

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The answer to this week's question is B- There goes my streak. I got the first part wrong. I thought it was Saudi Arabia, as I remember the TransArabian Pipeline which was supposed to come from there. It turns out it never made it because of the war of independence. So instead and before that it was from Iraq from Kirku instead. I got the second part right though. I knew that Rachel hung out and sung a lot about the Kinneret and was a farmer. She got Tuberculosis and was thrown out of degania her kibbutz. Nice. Then she moved to Jerusalem and died at age 40 and buried in Kinneret cemetery next to Naomi Shemer there. Her face is on 20 shekel bill. So 50/50 on this one and the score is  Rabbi Schwartz having 8 points and the MOT having 3 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

Friday, August 22, 2025

Mussar Shmorg- Parshat Re'eh 2025 5785

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 22nd 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 42 28th of Av 5785

 

Parshat Re'eh  

Mussar Shmorg

 

Chummus, techina, matbucha, Turkish salad, eggplant, smoked and fake liver flavor, roasted garlic, and sechug. Herring- maatjes, mustard flavor, wine flavor-you know the good sweet one, shmaltz and of course don't forget the sour cream one- pareve of course, we need to eat flayshigs afterwards and all types of crackers. And why not pick up some ptcha or galleh depending on where you're from for those that like it. And now the real fun begins. Cold cuts- so so many cold cuts, roast beef, pastrami, corned beef, turkey- honey smoked, bbq and I like those good old fashioned meal mart ones in circles that you can eat out in the middle or roll up around a good Flaum's or Schwartz's pickle. Liver, can't forget that. Yes both chopped and roasted with sweet fried onions in wine sauce. Meatboards, jerky and hard salami and now for the hot stuff. Chulent with lots of kishka of course. ,yapchik, overnight potato kugel, Yerushalmi Kugel. Am I forgetting anything?

 

I'm not a big cake and dessert person. But of course there has to be sunflower seeds, pistachios, real cold watermelon, sorbet and lots of those jelly candies that my dentist loves that I eat. I even think he invests in the company. Especially those Coca Cola shaped bottle ones. I think we've got everything covered now. We should be good to go. My shopping list is now complete. My preparations for the month of Elul and all of the necessary things I need to get ready for the High Holidays in this upcoming month of Teshuva and repentance is set to go. Let the zman begin!

 

What?! Did you think I was preparing a shopping list for some obscene American food fest Kiddush?  Or maybe even shalom zachor? I don't know what goes on and what the standards are in Lakewood these days… But from what I hear… who knows? But chas v'shalom, that I should ever shop like that for something as minor as a kiddush. Especially since my gastric stomach surgery. No, no, no… this is not a food shopping list. It's for my sefarim shank. It's my Mussar sefarim. It's how I can best get ready to obtain true deep meaningful yiras shamayim- awe and fear of heaven. It's how to prepare for the Yom Noraim- the upcoming High Holidays of Awe.

 

Huh? You're looking at me strangely now. What am I talking about? You've gone to many yeshivos and you've never seen herring on the sefarim shanks? You've heard many shmoozim and lectures from big rabbis and mashgiachs- (no not the kosher food types (although seemingly that title for them would make more sense to you after reading this E-Mail and will never let you look at them the same way again)- and none of them after told you to be me'ayen and delve into the great works of the Kishka Gaon, and the yaptchiker rav and the Mussar giant of galleh. Well, then it's a good thing you came here. See, because unlike them, I read the parsha this week, that Hashem has us read every year before the month of Elul begins. The Parsha that Hashem calls Re'eh- See. Check out the great smorgasbord. Learn this well. Because this is the way, you will find Me. This is the way you will become the people and nation that I want and meant you to become.

 

Think I'm making this up? Let's crack the parsha a bit. We'll start with the verses I'm talking about which pretty much reads like I wrote it above and then we'll explore the entire menu together.

In the fifth aliya, after listing all of the kosher and non-kosher foods that we're meant to and allowed to eat- or not, Hashem commands us of the mitzva of Ma'aser Sheni. The mitzva is that four out of every seven years (the 1st, 2nd. 4th and 5th year of the shemitta/sabbatical cycle). We are meant to take 10%  -a tithe, of all of our produce and bring it up to Jerusalem and eat it there. If you had a real good year and have too much to shlep with you, or alternatively you'd like to have something else that's good to eat besides those tomatoes and watermelons that you grew, then it's no problem. You can just redeem it and cash it in and then use the money to buy some great shwarma, herring or meat-boards when you get to Yerushalayim. What's the function of this mitzva? Hashem tells us, it's to prepare for Elul.

 

Devarim (14:23) You must eat this tithe of your grain, wine, and oil—as well as the firstborn of your cattle and of your flocks—before Hashem, your God, in the place to which He will choose to reside His Name…

 

See, I'm not making this up. And it's not only the grain, meat, fruit, cattle and first born prime rib either that you tithed for it continues and tells us that you can and should purchase

 

Ibid (14:26) whatever your soul desires—cattle, flocks, new wine or old wine, or whatever your soul desires.

 

Not sure what it is your heart desires? Check out the menu at the first part of this E-Mail or go to Yanky Lakewoodstiens Shalom Zachor tonight. Or better yet check out that exotic menu of beef, poultry, birds, venison, fish and even chocolate covered grasshoppers that Hashem provided you with in the previous aliya. Wouldn't it be cool if some big gevir making a wedding had a buffet like that for you to choose from? But what does this have to do with Elul and Mussar, you're wondering? Well check out the reason why Hashem gives us this important mitzva and has us read and learn it now.

 

L'ma'an tilmad li'yirah es Hashem Elokecha kol ha'yamim- in order to learn how to fear and have awe of Hashem all of your days.

 

What days? All of your days. What days? Certainly these up coming yamim nora'aim- the days dedicated to learning yirah, preparing for the fear and awe of Hashem. Do you want to prepare yourself for Elul, Hashem says. You don't need a Mesilas Yesharim, a Sha'arei Teshuva, an Orchos Tzadikim, a Chovos Ha'levavos or a Derech Hashem. Yiras Hashem isn't in your Bais Medrash sefarim shank, it's in your refrigerator. It's in the makolet in Yerushalayim. It's in the shwarma store next to the Bais Ha'Mikdash. That's where Hashem tells us each year we need to go to prepare for Elul. To become a nation that fears and is in awe of Hashem.

 

If you think I'm getting carried away here and am missing the boat. I'm not. In fact in another few weeks as we get closer to the High holidays we start saying selichos and viduy. Sefardim already start this week. Ouch! Yet before we Ashkenazim start the Torah tells us that we have to say viduy. Hashem teaches us the proper confession that we are meant to say. Do you know what it is? It's the viduy ma'aser. It's the confession that we didn't really crack the refrigerator Mussar shelf enough. It's that we tell Hashem that we brought all of our great food and money and spent it in Yerushalayim and had amazing meals there. Reb Leizer Sorotzkin in his great work Oznayim La'Torah tells us there that is a much harder and more important confession to make then the typical aii yah yaii yaii Ashamnu Bagadnu Gazalnu song we sing and bang our chests with. True Yiras Hashem is an amazing smorgasbord and kiddush. Aren't you glad you get this weekly E-Mail?

 

The question though is why? What's pshat? Why is this so revolutionary? And perhaps why have you never heard this before from any Rabbi or Mashgiach. I can't answer that last question, but it's probably why we're in galus so long. I'm kind of sick of this galus thing already, though. The introduction to parshat Ki Tavo in fact is the conclusion of Ki Teitzei, which mentions the mitzva to wipe out Amalek. To kill every single man woman, child and baby of that nation that wants to destroy us. This mitzva is how we do that. This is how we beat them. It's not Torah, it's not Mussar, it's not even guns, missiles or Donald Trump. It's taking all of their food and humanitarian aid and eating it ourselves and starving them to death…. Ok just joking about that last piece. Sort of. OK maybe not…

 

But seriously, the mitzva is to understand and appreciate that which Amalek tries to destroy in us. That we are the sons of Hashem, as the Torah tells us in the introduction to this mitzva. That we are sitting on the table of Hashem. That the food that we are eating is called manas ha'melech- it is the menu and portion of the King. We're His family. It's His royal spread that He's prepared for us. If we have a meal like that. If every delicious bite that we take we feel He's putting it in our mouth. He has it on a spoon and we're sitting in His High chair and He's waving that spoon around like an airplane even and making funny noises while He Hand feeds us. That Totty prepared the meal just for us. Then Amalek disappears. Then they have no strength. Then we are in awe of Hashem. Then we are happy. Then there is no more sadness, no worry, no hostages, no war, no Corona. There's just peace. There's just love. We are Home.

 

There's a saying that Kallah teachers don't teach enough to their students, and that is that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach". There is a similar lesson as well that too many Rabbis and yeshivos don't teach to their students and that is this lesson. The way to Hashem's heart is through our stomachs. Torah, Mussar, Elul is all the intellectual and spiritual. It's the brain, it's regret, it's remorse, it's fear and trepidation. It generally doesn't taste too good. But Hashem wants our heart. He wants our kishkas. He wants His children like every good father does, to have taste that love. To see how much He cares for them. To feel truly happy. To come Home and sit with Him at a good Shabbos table. To bring their friends along with them and have them join us for supper at the Waldorf. So that they can as well see and enjoy how much I love my children. Even if it costs an arm and a leg to treat them all there. Money is no object. Our Father is a billionaire. He wants all of His children to feel and to say "What an awesome Dad, you have!" I have…

 

Parshat Re'eh is the parsha that tells us to come see. To come to Yerushalayim. To see the blessing, to receive the blessing. To visit Hashem on our holidays. To bask in His glory and sit at His table with Him. Galus- Exile. That's not home. Do you know anyone that chooses to stay on vacation forever? That thinks it's their home? That struggles, that works, that tries to make a life for themselves, all the while their Father is waiting for them to come see Him. To cook for him, to serve him, to eat and rejoice with Him. Can't you see that? If you can't then you need to give some ma'aser. You need to give the ma'aser to yourself. Ma'aser sheini, a trip to Abba's table.

 

Rav Kook notes that every ma'aser and tithe that we give whether it's to the Kohen, the Levi, the poor person, all the charity that the Torah tells us in this week's parsha that we need to give to the widow, the orphan, the downtrodden, they're all about us filling a void for someone. It's taking care of someone that's lacking something. Ma'aser sheini, when we eat that smorgasbord, ourselves is the highest level. It is by that ma'aser above all others that Hashem gives the promise give a tithe so that you will become rich. It's not said about the charity we give to others, rather it's the one that we take for ourselves. It's the recognition that there is a Yerushalayim inside of me that is empty and that needs to be full. That my Father is not with me at the table. That I'm far away from Him. That I want, that I need to see Him. Because He is awesome. Because it is only there that I can experience joy. So I can eat lifnei Hashem. Before the King, from the plate of the King. From my Father's table.

 

Amalek, says we don't have that table. The world that opposes us will do every thing it can from us getting back there. The Satan will even make it comfortable for us in other places and give me other Mussar sefarim to learn, that teach me about regret, shame, repentance, fear of anti-Semitism, gezeiros, cruises, and political correctness to distract me from thinking about that good meal at my Father's table. In his heavenly dining room, He is waiting for us to join Him in His palace. This Monday Iy"h we will start blowing the shofar… It's not just a call to wake up, it's not just a call for and blast for Mashiach, it's not just about remembering that sacrifice of the binding of Yitzchak. It's a dinner bell. The shmorg is about to start. Are you ready to open your fridge and pull out that Mussar sefer sitting there and bring it to Totty… If you are then hopefully this year we will truly merit to be with our King at His table re"joy"ned. V'samachta B'Chagecha- V'hayisa Ach Samayach, with only happiness forever.


Have a feastfully delicious Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Ess, bench, sei a mensch!"- Eat, bless (Hashem) be a mentch!

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

31. A 1950s State of Israel national project which proved to be a large scale ecological mistake was

______


The rock typical of "Abrasion Platforms" (“Tavlaot Gidud”) is:

A. Sandstone

B. Basalt

C. Tuff

D. Scoria


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ponecha-your-face    – This week we kick off our Rabbi Schwartz Elul play list with my incredible composition and with Dovid Lowy on arrangements and Vocals. Es Panecha- I search out Yur face Hashem

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5StSBbMKeI8 – Bardak's latest Dad's Summer Camp,


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K4y409u2iw&list=RD9K4y409u2iw&start_radio=1 – Motty Shteimetz's latest release Melech!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2akXVQU8mhU&list=RD2akXVQU8mhU&start_radio=1  - And the latest TYH release of this riddiculus new genre of dumb jewish swishy swishy yum yum songs with Zum Gali Zum Gali

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Hostage Return, but Ultimate Failure - 586 BC  - After the assassination of Gedalia ben Achikam, the day after Rosh Hashana and just a few months after the Churban, Klal Yisrael was in a bad despondent mode. Yishmael Ben Netanya after murdering the other Jews in Mitzpa, took hostages and captives with him back towards Amon. Amon of course is Jordan today. In fact it's why the capital is called Amman. Gedaliah's surviving adviser who had warned him about the impending attack and who Gedalia disregarded, felt it was up to him to return the hostages home. He took the special forces unit and chased after Yishmael, ultimately catching up with them by the pool of Givon, which is in the modern village of El Jib near Nebi Samuel and freeing them, Yishmael however escaped back to Ammon.


Here we once again come to a turning point or perhaps more accurately a failed opportunity. Much like the Palestinians and perhaps even the Israelis today, we never fail to miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. The Navi Yirmiyahu and his student Baruch Ben Neriyah tell Yochanan and the Jews that they should stay in Israel. Don't run away. Don't leave the country. We can rebuild. We can start again. Hashem will be with us. Yet, Yochanan and the Jews with him are too fearful. They are scared that Nevuchadnezzar will come take revenge upon them, for the murder of his appointed regent Gedalia. Thus they decide to flee to Mitzrayim. To Pharaoh, he will protect us from Nevuchadnezzar. There we will have food, we will have security. Hashem has left the holy land. We need to start again with our Torah in Africa, Spain, Portugal, England, Amsterdam, Poland, Hungary, Czechoslavakia, Volozhin, Vilna, Mezibuzh, Mezritch, America, Lakewood, Jackson… Egypt.


Yirmiyahu pleads with them to stay. He tells them Hashem regrets having destroyed the Temple. He will protect us from Nevuchadnezzar. Egypt is a bad move. It's not safe. Nowhere else will be safe. They will ultimately kill us there. They will kill us everywhere. Hashem wants us in His Home. In His palace. Please don't leave. Please stay. Here it will be good. But the people don't listen. They not only go down to Egypt, but they even take Yirmiyahu and Baruch with them. And thus the era of the first Temple ends. Not with the churban, but rather with our obstinate stiff-necked refusal to believe that Hashem wanted and wants us to remain here in Israel. To be at His side. What happens to the Jews who get exiled to Egypt. Stay tuned next week, but I imagine can you probably figure it out.


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S REALLY TERRIBLE BUFFET JOKES OF THE WEEK


Why did the chicken return to the buffet? To get to the other sides


I always feel like a 9 or 10 after I leave a buffet.... Because I over ate.


With all the instant messaging and texting lingo going around - with abbreviations like "LOL" and "OMG" and "BTW" - I asked a young lady named Kaila if she would be going to shul this Shabbat, and she replied to me "JFK."

"JFK? What does that mean?", I asked.

Kaila answered politely, "Just for Kiddush."


I was at a Chinese buffet filling up my plate when I noticed something move in one of the food trays.

I disregarded it and continued filling up my plate before heading back to the table. After I finished I went up again and made sure to keep an eye on that tray and lo and behold something moved again! This time I get a better look and it appeared to be a pair of eyes pop up, see me and quickly hide under the food again. I knew I had seen some eyes so I went over to the server and said 'excuse me but there's something alive in that tray.'

He replied, 'oh, that's the Peking duck.'


Mahatma Gandhi decides to open an all you can eat buffet. After thinking about a slogan for a while he settles on: “Gandhi’s, when hunger strikes.


I was too late to the cannibal buffet. They just gave me the cold shoulder


A group of sheep walk into a buffet. The waiter approaches the group and says, "the ladies can eat, but the men will only be able to order drinks".

"Baaa... care to explain yourself?" asks one of the rams

"I'm sorry Sir, but as the sign stated on the door, this is an all ewe can eat buffet".

 

Did you hear about the clock that went to the buffet? It went back four seconds.


A scientist wanted to go to a buffet restaurant but they were closed for the day. So he got into his time machine and went back two hours. And after he ate a plate of spaghetti he was still hungry.

So he went back four seconds.

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The answer to this week”s question is A-  Oy another week another only 50/50 score on this question. The first part I got right. It was easy. I tour the Hula valley all the time and talk about the swamp that was once there, that they drained and afterwards realized that it was a mistake and waited another 40 years until they restored it. But it did lead to the first National Park and Nature reserve of Israel and the entire Park system that we have here today. Part II I didn't have a clue, although I was thinking that it was sandstone but figured that was too natural and chose tuf instead. I should've gone with my first instinct though, as sandstone and the entire Sharon coastline by Herzelia and Netanya is made up of this stone that is formed from the wave and water abrasion. Really doing bad on this exam. The score is now Rabbi Schwartz 19.5 Ministry of Tourism 11.5 on this exam so far.AS of now I'm not passing, if I'd have to answer all the questions. B"H I have two more Q's left and we'll see. But either way I get to deduct five questions so I should be fine.