Missing Mom- Parshat Chayei Sarah- 5781 /2020

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

November 13^th 2020 -Volume 11 Issue 5 26^th Cheshvan 5781

 Parshat Chayei Sarah

Missing Mom

I miss my mother, and it's not just her cooking. Aliza, pretty much has me covered on that front. I made sure of that before I married her and she hasn't let me down. I don't think I have ever gone this long in my 49 years of life without seeing my parents. It's been almost two years since Rivky's wedding when we all got together. Even when we moved to Israel, either I have been back or they have visited at least once a year. But since this Corona thing came along, neither of us are traveling anywhere, and it really stinks.

Don't get me wrong, I was never a homesick kind of kid. Hey, I went to sleepaway camp for a month when I was 6 years old and that's only because they wouldn't accept me when I was 5. Neither was I was ever a Momma's boy, my mother made sure of that, and that's despite the fact that I'm her favorite child (it's a good thing my sisters don't read my E-Mails), although Gedalia is good competition. It's also not like we don't talk at least once a week either, we even facetime sometimes-although I'm not a fan. But it's not the same. Truth is I don't even know why it's not the same. She generally will scold me the same, will get emotional and even choked with tears when she tells me she loves me and gives me those important reminders to brush my teeth, take care of my health and remember to say shema at night before I go to sleep. It's not even the hugs and kisses. I'm not such a family hugger… They're generally too emotional. There's just something about being in her presence. In both of my parent's presence-despite all of our usual fights and arguments, that is missing and the longing to see them again just grows stronger and stronger each day and each month…

OK now that I made my mother cry in the first two paragraphs, let's move on to the parsha which really gives us the essence of Jewish motherhood and the relationship between boys and their mothers. After-all it is the parsha titled after the first Jewish mother ever; Chayei Sarah- the life of Sarah. It seems the perfect book to buy and read to find out all we need to know about Jewish motherhood; the life and times of Sarah. Yet, quite the opposite. The second verse in already tells us that she died. That was quick. Short book. I want a refund. But Hashem doesn't give refunds. Now although the divisions and certainly the titles of the parshiyot were not given by Hashem, all Jewish traditions and certainly those that have to do with the study of Torah that for millennia have utilized these titles exist because of Divine inspiration. For generations the titles of each sedra were understood to define the entire theme of the parsha. If that is the case maybe we should flip a few more pages of the book that seems to us should've more aptly been "The life without Sarah" and find out what we are missing.

The first part of the story is all about her burial, and the elongated story of Avraham's negotiations to purchase the Cave of Machpela for her burial. True, the Torah tells us that Avraham eulogized Sarah and the Midrash Tanchuma even tells us that his eulogy was based on the Eishet Chayil that we sing every Friday Night-how each verse applies to everything in her life. But the Torah itself doesn't really tell us much about Sarah.

The next part and bulk of the parsha is all about Avraham swearing his servant Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak, (who seemingly missed his Mom's funeral) and who has kind of disappeared since the Akeida. We have the elongated and repetitive story of Eliezer testing and finding Rivka, the negotiations with Lavan and Besuel and them blessing her as she leaves (*Don't miss the great song I composed in honor of my sister Rivky's wedding with that blessing down below) They meet Yitzchak and brings her back to his Mother's tent. This is the majority of the parsha and it seems it should more appropriately be called the "Chayei Rivka" then of Sarah.

The last piece of the Parsha as well doesn't seem to have any Sarah action in it either. We are told of Avraham's remarriage to Ketura-who Chazal tells us is Hagar. The children he has with her and his sending them away as well. Finally, we have Avraham's death and burial by Yitzchak and Yishmael and then all the descendants of Yishmael. There's more Chayei Hagar and Chayei Yishmael there than Chayei Sarah and frankly to most of us it doesn’t really seem to interesting. We bought this book to find out about our mother, not our cousin's family. I would've gone to a book store in Ramalla for that.

There is a game I like to play with my tourists when I talk to them about Jerusalem. I tell them that our sages tell us that there is heavenly city of Jerusalem that directly corresponds to the one that is down here, and that I can prove it to them. I ask them how to say hand in Hebrew- they say "yad". How do you say two hands? "Yadayim!" they say very excitedly, surprisingly proud of themselves that they know something most kindergarteners know. How do you say foot, I continue? "Regel!" Two feet? "Raglayim!" Eye? "Ayin!". Two eyes? " Einayim!" Ear? "Ozen…" they reply getting sick of this game already. OK…two ears? Oznayim- now they are really getting bored. So I switch it up and ask how they say Jerusalem in Hebrew? And they say of course Yerushalayim. And I tell them they are wrong…"What?!" They check my Kippa to make sure it really is black velvet (the only kosher kind). So I show them how in the Torah it says it is called Yeru-shalem. What does Yerushal-AYIM mean? Well now they know it means two. The "ayim" suffix makes something plural. This is to teach us that there are two a Jerusalem down here and a Jerusalem up above. Walla! As we say in Hebrew…

There is another word that is really just as reflective and insightful once you have this priniciple down pat. How do we say life in Hebrew. Again seemingly easy but wrong. I imagine most of you would say chayim. Like when we drink we say ""l'chaim" to life. Except that the word life has the "ayim" suffix" to it as well. chayim means lives. Two of them. The one in this world and the one in the afterworld. In fact, there is no word for a singular life in Hebrew. Chai- means alive it doesn't mean life. Whenever we talk about a life we talk about it in the plural. It's always a doubled life. It's the life we have while we are here and the life that continues on after we leave this physical world that we put in place and are still connected to even after we're gone. Our sages tell us that the righteous even after they pass are called living. Our parsha is called Chayei Sarah because it is the lives of Sarah, for it is the story of the life of Sarah that live on even when she wasn't close enough to hug anymore.

The eternal life of Sarah starts at Mea'arat Hamachpela- the doubled cave. But it's not just the cave that is "machpela- doubled". It is in the field of Machpela that is in the area referred to as Machpela. Machpela means double. It will be the beit hachayim- the house of life, of two lives; the one where the physical ends and the eternal one begins. There is no more appropriate place to start our book about Sarah than at the purchase of Machpela for that will be the symbol that she lives on even in her departing from this physical world.

The parsha continues with Sarah's life in the finding of the spouse for her son Yitzchak. This entire story is finding someone that will fill the tent of Sarah with her light once again. Avraham realizes that he needs someone as close as Sarah as he can get to light that light of Sarah so he makes Eliezer swear and travel in order for him to find that "mother".

When Yitzchak finds Rivkah the verse tells us his reaction in such incredible terms.

Bereshit (24:67) And Yitzchak brought her to the tent of Sarah his mother, and he took Rebecca, and she became his wife, and he loved her. And Yitzchak was comforted for [the loss of] his mother.

Sarah lives in Rivkah. Her tent lives. This is after all parshat Chayei Sarah. If you aren't sure take a look at Rashi

He brought her into the tent and she became exactly like his mother Sarah — that is to say, the words signify as much as, [And he brought her into the tent] and, behold, she was Sarah, his mother).

Do you know how they say that you marry someone like your mother? Yitzchak certainly did. The three miracles that Sarah had in her tent of a light from Shabbos to Shabbos, that there was a blessing that could be tasted in her bread and that there was a heavenly cloud always present for protection are the symbols and correspond to the specific mitzvos of a woman, of a mother. Sarah had passed away for three years yet Yitzchak had not been consoled. Rashi again tells us this is the way it's meant to be, which seems strange as we know that someone who dies the mourning ends after a year. But Rashi says a fascinating eternal insight.

It is Derech Eretz the natural (and proper way) that while a man’s mother is living he is karuch- wrapped up in her, but when she dies he finds comfort in his wife.

I saw a beautiful insight in the sefer Hamisulaim Mipaz- that writes that although when a man gets married the Torah tells us that he leaves his father and mother and is davak-cleaves to his wife, that does not negate that he is still wrapped up karuch-like the word korech by our Pesach sandwich- with his mother. His wife is the person that he becomes one with. They will build a unit and a family together. That bond of being one with his mother who fed him, cared for him, worried about him and strengthened him will be replaced with his wife. But his mother will still be wrapped into everything he does. She is the one he turns to for that wisdom of his youth, for the insight that only she can provide him with as no one knows him better. No one cares as much in his heart. She is not one with him, she is not davak, but she is that external force that is wrapped around all he does. She lives in him, even though she is not with him.

It's fascinating when you think about it. None of our Matriarchs had shviggers (mother-in-laws). They missed out on that wonderful aspect of married life for a new young bride. The reason perhaps is precisely as explained above. Each one of them were a continuation of the light of the previous generation. Each one's husband was fully theirs and there was no mother wrapped up in their relationship. They inherited the light and filled the tent with that same wisdom and light that the ones before them did.

But as our book on the life of Sarah concludes it reveals that Sarah is not just the mother of Yitzchak. Sarah has other "children". Her prize student Hagar- for she wouldn't give Avraham any less and Hagar's son Yishmael, whose entire existence because Sara was his mother's shadchan. She raised the two of them to such a high level that they both even saw and communicated with angels. She's also the "mother" of Hagar who she sent away and is now brought back to Avraham. They both return to the fold after being sent away for their own good. It certainly pained Sarah as much as it did Avraham. But she knew what they needed-as Jewish mothers always do. And the conclusion of the parsha of the life of Sarah that these children as well return. Hagar, now Ketura remarries Avraham. She is called Ketura because like incense she was lit with the flame and the holy spirit of Sarah now emanates from her. And Yishmael returns to bury his father Avraham with Yitzchak allowing Yitzchak to go first, for he had done teshuva. The teshuva of Yishmael is so great that we find there are great sages in the Mishna that are named for him. Again the life of Sarah lives on. She is the first of our Imahos and she is the light that is shines eternally in every Jewish mother since.

There is perhaps no stereotype out there like the Jewish Mother. They truly are all the same. They are the same because they all carry the light of Sarah that they shine into their children. It's in their DNA. They worry about that light more than any other mother, and that light shines even if they're not close enough to hug us. We have our own spouses, children, family and friends to cleave to and give us the hugs and make us the food and build our tents with us. But I relate to Yitzchak who missed his mother. Baruch Hashem mine is well and healthy, as she always is, thank god until 120. It's not mother's day this week. We never did that in my family as every day is mother's day. But it is Thanksgiving in some countries-although we were never too strict about that either, and so I'll use this week's E-mail to just say thank you Mom… I miss you…and hope to see you soon oif simchas…

Have a marvelous Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Di varemsteh bet is di mamehs."- The warmest bed is mother’s…"

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

3)A stream that flows into the Mediterranean Sea:

A) Betzet

B) Tirza

C) Amud

D) Dishon

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/rivkah  – My sister Rivky thinks this is my nicest composition. It was her chuppa song so that makes sense. Yitzy Berry did an awesome job and I dare you to listen and not get moved by this special Bracha that Lavan gave Rivka in this week's parsha… and we do so by every Chasuna..

 

https://youtu.be/w6WQK1lYucw – You know me.. I can't resist a Carlebach medley. This one by the Jerusalem Choir is great.

 

https://youtu.be/dCpLWj6Uvq0  – New 8^th Day song- Gift of Life.. enjoy

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPAXBuo8_rI   – Avrahm Fried hot off the press New song Shvurei Lev… I have never heard him so emotional before..

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 Parshat Chayei Sarah– One of the ideas behind this column is to allow my readers to fall more and more in love with Eretz Yisrael and to ultimately give up shmutz la'aretz and to come home to the country, we have davened and longed for so long. Well this week we'll talk about the other way to come here…

 There is a cartoon I once saw of this young boy who learns about Eretz Yisrael and tells his mother he wants to live there. The mother reassures him that one day he may be able to, but right now is not the right time. Maybe when he gets older. The next frame is he's a yeshiva bachur who tells his mother again he would like to move to Israel. She again tells him that he can do what he wants after he gets married, but he needs to come back to the States from his yeshiva in Israel and get married first. The next frame is under the chupa him telling his wife he wants to move to Israel. She agrees but wants to start off marriage near her parents.  The next one is at their Shabbos table and again he broaches the subject and his wife tells him the kids are the wrong ages, maybe after they get married. The next one is walking down the last child to the chupah, but then Mom wants to be near the grandchildren. The last frame is at the airport where the widow is sitting by her husband's coffin saying "your father always wanted to go to Israel…" Ouch!

 Burial in Israel goes back along way… We have gravestones from the times of the Mishna of people from all over the world that would be brought to Eretz Yisrael to be buried. There is a special merit to be buried in Israel as we it says v'cheepair admaso amo- the land atones for it's nation. In fact even those that get buried outside of Israel the custom is to place earth from Israel in their coffins for precisely that reason. Yet, our Rabbis were not too happy with the idea. We find Rabbis in the Talmud that accused people that would do so of being marbeh tuma'ah ba'aretz- increasing the impurity in the land. We need your live bodies here not your dead ones.

 With this in mind it is perhaps fascinating to think that the first land that was purchased and owned by Avraham-the first Jew, was in fact a burial site- the Mea'arat Ha'Machpela. The question begs itself. Why isn't the first thing he buys a Beit Midrash, a home to live in, a Shul, a Mikva. Why is the first purchase a grave? It seems pretty morbid.

 The answer I have seen is pretty revealing. The function of a grave is to testify that the body will come to life once again. In fact, Rav Charlap describes the "circle of life" as one where the soul comes from heaven and is placed in a body made of earth. It is a burial in a way for that soul. Yet the two of them live together and they preform Mitzvos and achieve reward. After death the soul returns to heaven to receive its reward, and the body is buried waiting for the soul to return with its reward in the period of the Resurrection of the Dead-Techiyas Ha'Meisim.

 Avraham is on this world to teach people that there is an afterlife. There is a Creator and our actions will have eternal consequence. That message can only be brought out by teaching them of the laws of burial in a doubled cave. The cave of Machpela incidentally we are told is the entrance to Gan Eden. This is where the souls pass through to get there and where the bodies will return and emerge from. The essence of life in Eretz Yisrael is because this is the land where we can achieve that ultimate unity between body and soul in the land closest to Gan Eden where we will rise up once again from. Those of us fortunate enough to live her can achieve that perfect harmony where the earth and soul can find holiness together and then be restored in the holiest of lands. In the Diaspora the life is not one that will ever have that fullest connection between body and soul, and thus in death as well it needs to ultimately come to Eretz Yisrael to be resurrected.

 This is some spooky stuff, yet there is nothing more central to Judaism as the idea of dying like a Jew. Having Kaddish recited is something even Jews far away from our faith and observance recognize. We all have a knowledge that there is a life after death. That pivotal idea that transformed the world comes from Avraham and the 400 shekel he spent on the burial site of Israel. We all know and live our lives so that we can die as good Jews. And even in the Diaspora we will bring you some earth to sprinkle on your grave. But wouldn't you love so much more to have that holy sand sift through your feet every day of your life?

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Shaul and the Witch- 877 BC-  We are getting closer to the final act of the Book of Shmuel Aleph. David is camped out with the Achish and the Philistines in Gat. He has them fooled that he has been ostracized by the Jewish people and Shaul and is on their team. Achish sees then as the opportunity, with Israel's main warrior on his side to wage war and attack the Jews. He invites Dovid to join him and the camp in the Jezree'el valley beneath the mountain of Gilboa by the village of Shunam. The ancient city of Shunam was actually populated for over 1000 years by Jews in the times of the 1^st and 2^nd Temple and through the 6^th century. Today it is identified as the arab village of Sulam, and in fact Tel Shunam that lies on the outskirts of this village has been excavated a few times over the last 10 years.

 

Now the Jews led by Shaul are overwhelmed by the sheer force and numbers of the Philistine army that has gathered. Shaul and his men camped high up in the safety of the mountain of Gilboa look down, as I do with my tourists from the incredible lookout points, and realize that they are vastly outnumbered and armed. Achish had come all out this time and the Jewish fledgling army was not going to be enough to cut it. It is at this point that Shaul realized he needed Divine guidance. It was the only way we stood a chance. The problem was how to get that guidance. Shmuel had passed away a month before hand. The newer prophets were not giving Shaul any prophecies, Even the Urim V'Tumim from the breastplate of the Kohen Gadol seemed to be silent. Shaul was at a loss. The survival of the Jewish people rested on his large shoulders and he had nowhere to turn. Or did he?

 There was one angle that still remained; he could raise and ask the dead. Well, that's not exactly precise, let's backtrack a bit and understand how things work. A fundamental Jewish belief is that there is a supernatural spiritual world that exists and that can even be manipulated. In biblical times when Hashem preformed open miracles and spoke through prophets this was understood and obvious. Yet as in all things spiritual there has to be a balance to maintain free-choice and there is therefore going to be negative spiritual impure forces and powers that can be manipulated as well. We find this with Pharaoh's magicians in Egypt, Bila'am and his sorcerers and other biblical stories. The Torah recognizes these forces as being real and prohibits us from utilizing or consulting them. While Shmuel was alive these sorcerers and witches didn't have much business. Why go to the "dark side" when you had the 'real deal' in Shmuel to consult? After Shmuel's death though Shaul fearing that these people would fill the void and ordered anyone practicing sorcery or necromancy to be killed. And they were. Except for one.

 It is not often that I get to use my encyclopedic knowledge of 70's TV shows and movies in my tour guiding in Israel. So when I can I get really excited. See this witch, who incidentally Chazal tell us was the mother of Shaul's general Avner and even the wife of the prophet Tzefania, lived in the village of Ein Dor. Now all you Star Wars fans should be familiar with that name. Its where those cute little Ewoks were from. But for those a little older that remember Bewitched the mother-in-laws name was "Endora". Well now you know where that name comes from and today kibbutz Ein Dor founded in 1947 was given the same name.

 Now although it was prohibited to utilize the services of such people and Shaul himself had even had them killed, he felt that this was a life-threatening situation of pikuach nefesh where he needed guidance from the deceased prophet Shmuel as to how to proceed. So he disguised himself and went to visit her with his two generals Avner and Amasa. The woman not recognizing Shaul, was still concerned that this was a ruse to get her was hesitant but Shaul promised her that no harm would come up. She agreed and moments later the spirit of Shmuel entered the room and frankly he was not a happy camper. He was upset that the was being raised from the dead and he basically told Shaul that Hashem was already pretty much finished with him. That he and Yonasan would be joining Shmuel pretty soon and the battle would be lost by the Jewish people. This was a result of the sins of Shaul of the city of Nov and for not having completed his mission in wiping out Amalek and establishing the kingdom. Ouch!

 Shaul is heartbroken by the news, but the good witch makes him some food and he sits down and tells his men some fake news. Shmuel said he will win and the Jews will be victorious. He knows this is the will of Hashem for him to fall in this battle and it has already been pre-ordained. The only thing he could offer his people is false hope and thus he does. I'm not making any modern day equivalents here… but it's definitely food for thought. Stay tuned next week as we follow the story to its tragic end.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S JEWISH MOTHER JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 Shaindy and Moishy decided to take their little Berel from the heat of the city to his first visit to the beach. Dressed in his little sailor suit and hat and pail and shovel in hand, Berel happily played at the water's edge as his mother and father spread their picnic blanket. Then suddenly, to his parents' horror, a huge wave crashed down on the boy and then dragged him far out to sea. As neither of his parents could swim, his mother began to wail and cry, "Hashem, be merciful. Return our son to us!" 

Suddenly another huge wave cast the boy back up on the sand at his parents' feet. Shaindy inspected her son and then quickly looked back towards the heavens and said, "He had a hat!"   

 During a regular early morning shul service, Rabbi Levy couldn't help noticing 21 year old Benny sitting at the back of the shul looking very sad. He had his head in his hands. So at a convenient moment, Rabbi Levy goes over to him and asks, "What's wrong, Benny? Tell me. Maybe I can help."

"Oh rabbi," replies Benny, "I just don't know what to do. Every time I bring a girl home to introduce her to my parents, no matter how wonderful the girl is, my mother always tells me that she does not like her at all."

"I've heard this story many times before," says Rabbi Levy, "but you'll be pleased to hear that I have a tried and tested solution for you. Next time you choose a girl, make sure she not only looks just like your mother, but also talks like your mother, laughs like your mother, cooks like your mother, and dresses like your mother. Believe me, Benny, if you find such a girl, your mother will absolutely love her."

Many weeks go by before Benny finds someone just like his mother. And not only that, but the girl very quickly falls madly in love with him. So Benny invites her to meet his parents and this time is feeling very optimistic that all will go well.

At the next shul service, Rabbi Levy notices that Benny is once again sitting at the back of the shul looking unbelievably unhappy. So once again, during a break in the service, Rabbi Levy goes over to Benny. "What's wrong Benny?" asks Rabbi Levy. "Couldn't you find someone like your mother?"

"Rabbi," replies Benny, "miraculously, I found a girl just like my Mom. Not only did she look just like Mom, but she also talked like Mom, laughed like Mom, cooked like Mom, and dressed like Mom."

"So everything should have worked out okay for you," says Rabbi Levy.

"No, rabbi, it didn't," replies Benny. "My father didn't like her."

 

As a fundraiser the local Hebrew School decided to hold a talent show for the community. The night of the show finally arrived and the auditorium was packed with community people. Judy Goldberg looked on her as her pride and joy Chezky was playing piano and singing his beautiful composed Ani Maamin. During her performance she noticed a man in the audience clearly moved and crying.  
After the show she walks over to him and says "isn't it touching that the younger generation is carrying on our tradition?" 

The man says "I don't know I'm not Jewish".

"So why were you crying?" she asks him. 

"Oh that's because I am a musician"

 

 A man is laying on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, the surgeon. The son reassures his nevous father that there is nothing to worry about. It's a simple procedure that he has done many times before.  

The father says, "Son, think of it this way ... If anything  happens to me, your mother is coming to live with you."

.

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Mom, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." 
The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says,

"Okay, Mom. Guess which one I'm going to marry." 
She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle." 
"That's amazing, Mom. You're right. How did you know?" 
"I don't like her."

 

It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when Bernie slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled. 
As Bernie unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two bagels to go, please?" 
The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?" 
"That's right," answered Bernie, "One for me and one for Bernice." 
"Bernice is your wife?" asked the baker. 
"What do you think," snapped Bernie, " would my mother would send me out on a night like this?"

 

A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons.

A passerby asks her how old the boys are.

"The doctor is three," the mother answers, "and the lawyer is two."

 

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you two are going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

LESSONS MY JEWISH MOTHER TAUGHT ME

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't behave, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'till all your spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times – Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

 *********************************

Answer is A –  Another one right! I surprised myself on this one. There are tons of nachals in Israel and I certainly don't know the names and locations of all of them. Yet surprisingly I was at least familiar with all of them and have even hiked in most. Dishon in the Eastern Galile near the panhandle is where I usually take my tourists ATV'ing. Amud is near Meron and is a great hike that one can take circularly or to Tzfat and even all the way down to the Kinneret. Neither flow near the Mediteranean. Tirtza, I've never been at but I remembered it from another exam as the largest stream in the Shomron that flows down to the Jordan Valley. Which of course leaves Nachal Betzet in the Western Galile that flows down to the Mediteranean near Rosh Hanikra and that I pass (or used to pass…) regularly.

So keeping our streak going I'm three for three on this exam so far, with the score 3 for Rabbi Schwartz and 0 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

 

Cornered- Parshat Toldot 2019 /5780

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

November 29^th  19 -Volume 10 Issue 6 1^st Kislev 5780

Parshat Toldos

Cornered

Eran- that's an Israeli name by the way, sat up all night. He'd had enough already. He looked back and questioned the past 3 years of his life and all he had been through. He was a vintner, not exactly like the great Torah commentator Rashi a thousand years ago. He wouldn't exactly call himself religious even, although he believed in God. But he always felt connected to this oldest of beverages. The main drink of our ancestors and the one that is used for all of our rituals. He felt it a privilege to be able live in the Land of our forefathers and he wanted to make wine just like they did. In the 90's already the Galil and Golan areas and even Jerusalem and the Hebron hills were producing grapes and wine on the same hills and valleys that our ancestors did 3000 years ago. There was one frontier left. A place where no one dreamed of moving to and making it flourish again it was the unclaimed last bastion of ancient Jewish life that was still unpopulated and barren and empty. Welcome to the Negev.

One of the amazing things about Israel is that we have every type of terrain in this tiny little country of ours. We have cities and metropolises. We have beaches, hills, valleys, streams, and lakes. We have volcanoes, we have snowcapped mountains and we have the Dead Sea. And of course we have the largest part of our country almost 60% is Negev, dry rocky desert. Much of the Negev may not even be part of the original biblical borders of Israel although there were certainly Jewish life there. Our forefather Avraham lived in the Negev for a period of time, the northern part was within the borders of the tribes of Yehudah and Shimon and in the times of Shlomo Hamelech the Jewish extended all the way down to Eilat. Even in the second Temple the Chasmonaim Kings expanded into this Southern territory of Israel. Yet for thousands of years this region remained empty and barren. Bedouins, spice traders made their way through the Spice trails here but there wasn't much Jewish life back here. Eran wanted that to change.

His inspiration began when he saw a report of an archeological dig that discovered ancient wine making presses and production that took place in the area thousands of years ago. Wow, he thought, wouldn't it be amazing to once again plant and produce wine in the same land. He did some geological surveys and discovered that the incredible dry and cool climate, the elevation and the earth would in fact be ideal to grow grapes. The government as well, at the time, were looking to expand Jewish life in the Negev and he availed himself of the subsidies and grants to buy land and begin the process of producing the first wines grown in the Negev desert. But as our sages tell us Eretz Yisrael is niknis bi'yisurim- it is only acquired through painful tribulations. Nothing good comes easy certainly not the best place in the world, Hashem's chosen Land.

Government bureaucracy in Israel is certainly legendary combining the ineffectiveness of its early socialist roots, the always I'm-smarter-than-you and don’t- tell-me- how-it's-supposed-to-be-done stiff neckedness of our wonderful nation, and the general unhelpfulness of the lazy middle eastern culture into one big package of pain in the neck frustration of getting anything done in this country that only the truly determined can survive. Once he got through all of that, he labored, planted and finally produced his first crop of grapes only to find a herd of camels eating them all up. He chased them away, but planted again, but once again he found the camels back again. He put up fences and perimeters. Nothing was working until he realized that the local Bedouins were the ones causing this damage. So night after night he and his wife took shift guarding their crops.

One night he caught a group of the Bedouins getting ready to do damage and steal his poles he confronted them. Unabashedly they informed that this was their land and he should leave. He showed them his titles and government permits. They were about as interested in that as I am in the green garnish on a platter of New York Deli cold cuts at a bar mitzva. (I kind of miss those-shnitzel and rice can only take you so far). They told him that the land was theirs. They were there first. He should leave. When he went to the local police, they apologetically informed him that there was nothing they could do. So he went back and guarded his stuff. Night after night he would chase them away, but somehow they kept managing to get in. After a bit of research, he realized that he had planted himself on that ancient spice trail, that was today being used as a modern day drug trafficking trail from Egypt up into Israel. The Bedouins were not going away.

On this night a group of three Bedouins pulled up to his farm and told him that they could solve all of his problems, they would offer protection of his fields and grapes. He would be able to do what he wanted, although ask for is for 3000 shekels a month for their "services" and he would be good to go. A lesser person at this point might have just caved and paid it out writing it off as your traditional Israeli "bakshish", "protektzia", "grease the squeaky wheel" operating expenses that traditionally make things happen in this neck of the woods, although from what I understand these days it's cigars and champagne that sometimes get our Prime Ministers to work on your behalf… But Eran was not someone that was going to cave. His heart and soul were in this land and he wasn't going to pay another blue shekel these crooks. He sent them off and for the first time since he started this process he turned to Hashem and he cried and he prayed.

The Torah portion this week tells us an incredible story about the first of those special type of prayers that Eran offered. The parsha tells us that Yitzchak and Rivka after they had been married for 10 years and didn't have any children realized that she was barren. Rashi notes that unlike his father Avraham and even his son Yaakov, he was unable to take another wife or maidservant to marry him and produce children because since he was brought up a sacrifice by the akeida, he was sanctified and couldn't have a maidservant wife. So Rashi tells us that he went into one corner and prayed and Rivka went into the other corner and prayed.

There are a few puzzling things about these Rashi's. Did Yitzchak and Rivkah not pray for the entire 10 years that they would have children. Wouldn't anyone pray once they got married to have kids? Rashi as well seems to note that it was because he couldn't take another wife that they both went to pray. Really?! Is that what it took? And why does Rashi tell us they prayed in the corner? Who cares if they davened in their shul, in their kitchen, living room, study or in Uman? What does this make a difference?

I heard an incredible insight explaining a similar story in the Talmud in Ketuvot (62:). It tells us that the Rebbi Yehudah Hanasi married his son off to the daughter of Rebbi Yosi Ben Zimra. They got married and then he went off to study for 12 years as it seems was the agreement and custom back then. Lock in the marriage when they're young and they'll finish the deal after the learns a bit. When he came back they tried to have children and realized she was infertile. So the Talmud tells us that the two rabbis discussed the options. He couldn't take another wife because then it would look bad that he kept her waiting for 12 years like this. He couldn't take another wife because then people would shame her and say she is only his mistress. So therefore there is no option. So they decided to pray and she had children. Once again this is a very strange story. Why do they have to go through all the options first? Did not the great Rebbi and Rebbi Yosi not understand what seemingly every one of us does; that we should daven.

The answer is that there is prayer and then there is prayer. As long as one feels that there are other options on the table, their prayers will not reach the ultimate sincerity. They won't hit home the way they are meant to. For them really to accomplish the maximum, that they are meant to one has to feel that they have nowhere else to turn. They are in a corner. There's no right, there's no left. Their back is against the wall. That was the reason they eliminated all other options before their prayer. That is why Yitzchak and Rivkahs prayer after 10 years were the most heartfelt when they realized he couldn't take another wife. That's why it tells us they davened in the corner. And that was the prayer of Eran that fateful night changing night.

The next morning Eran's phone rang. It was an old buddy of his from the winery in the North and he was calling to ask him how he was doing. When he shared with him his plight, his friend revealed that the real reason he was calling was because he had a met a group of other families that wanted to join him in the Negev and also open up wineries and plant grapes. They didn't know how to work through the beuracracy and they wanted him to help them. They would pay him for his efforts and they would work together to build a stronghold there. Interestingly enough one of these friends had a buddy in the ministry of agriculture and they paid a visit to the troublesome Bedouin village. The friend was actually an inspector in charge of livestock issues. He walked into the village lights ablazing and demanded to see the immunization forms for the hundreds of sheep and goats they were raising, which of course they never had. He then informed them that by law he was obligated to kill all of the sheep as they pose an environmental threat. As he picked up his phone to make his call the Bedouins started pleading with him. He offered them a onetime chance that he would not report them and call down the cattle liquidation squads if they insure that the fields and crops of Eran and for that matter all the new farms that were planting would stay safe. They of course immediately agreed. The rest is history.

I sat there this week looking out at this lush green acres and acres long oasis in the desert sipping the Chenin blanc Eran poured for me. There are about 4 or five other vineyards in the area all of which are producing the finest and most delicious wines that haven't been produced here for millennia. He still does not wear a Kippa, although his wines are mehadrin min hamehadrin best tier Kosher. He tells me that the local Rabbi tells him that he is a tzadik when he comes every so often to put on teffilin. But he says that of one thing he has no doubt. Hashem answers our prayers when they are heartfelt. We have a father in heaven that is waiting for us to turn our hearts to Him and understand that besides Him there are no other options. I raised my glass and thought about our return here to Eretz Yisrael. It is not enough. that we have a home, a refuge, a place to settle a country even to shine out the light to the world from. We need our Father back here as well. He hasn't yet sent Mashiach perhaps because we still feel we have other options. Our backs are not yet to the wall. We're not in the corner. We have entered the month of Kislev. It is a month of miracles. It is the darkest Shabbos of the year this week and it is in that dark corner, in that darkest of months that the light of miracles and of the dedication of the Temple can break through once again. May we merit to have our millennia of prayers for that day finally answered.

Have festive Shabbos and a miraculous Rosh Chodesh Kislev,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Besser alter vein aider alter koiches " - Besser alter vein aider alter koiches.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/5RNoy6i02Cg  – Check out wine growing in the Negev

https://youtu.be/og74Y4ak-Bc  –Beuatiful song Tefilas Chasan snag by Simcha Jacoby the composer at his own chasuna..

https://youtu.be/zDX6La0Iq_4   - Birkas habanim for Yitzchaks blessing this week by Ohad live!

https://youtu.be/G1wzuNozYPg - Rosh Chodesh Kislev song by Eli Marcus

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

3) A stream that flows into the Jordan River:

A)    Taninim

B)    Tirza

C)    HaBesor

D)    Alexander

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

U'Lovdo B'chol levavchem – Tefilla/ Prayer- In the Shema paryer we recite the verse that we are obligated to serve Hashem with all of our hearts, our sages derived that the service of the heart that we are obligated in is the mitzva of prayer. This is a biblical commandment. Now as we all know we Jews have a mitzva to pray three times a day. Those prayers however are not the biblical obligation. In fact they were only established a mere 2000 years ago when the Temple was destroyed. They are rabbinic in nature, they were established in place of the sacrifies that took place in the Temple. So what is biblical prayer. Maimonides defines this obligation as a daily obligation where one thanks Hashem, asks and requests their needs, and praises Hashem for the gifts He has given.  As a result of this obligation not being dependent on a specific time frame, it is a biblical obligation on men and women to pray. Now even the Ramban /Nachmanides who disagrees with the Rambam and understands that daily prayer is not biblical in nature agrees that when is in a situation when they feel that they need something there is a biblical commandment to turn to Hashem and ask for it.

Prayer not only can be offered in whatever language one wishes, but it is in fact preferable to daven to Hashem in the language you understand rather than just reading words out of a siddur that one doesn't understand. Hebrew is of course our holy tongue and the words that our Rabbis established for the prayers that we recite certainly have extra depth and meaning and even power to incorporate all the thoughts and feelings that we need to have them received. It is worthwhile to use a siddur and learn those prayers, however one should not use their davening time to practice their Hebrew reading skills. Talk to Hashem, he's waiting for your conversation. As well if one does not have time to pray the entire prayer, something came up, they're sick, whatever… one should not just give up. Talk to Hashem it's a mitzva. A biblical one. As well if you have to shorten your prayer, no need to feel bad. You have fulfilled a mitzva by merely talking to your Father in heaven. I think that this concept is such a critical one in understanding the essence of what our biblical obligation is versus our Rabbinic obligation. Don't get me wrong I think that we should daven three times a day. We are obligated to fulfill our Rabbinic mitzvos as well. But they don't define or take away from the most important mitzva and the essence of the value of our biblical obligation.

Now if one feels that he or she has certain needs or are in a bind more than once a day, it would seem that we have an obligation to ask Hashem each time. That's a good thing, by the way. Not only are we meant to understand that no situation is hopeless. There's always a heavenly door that we can knock on. But we get a mitzva and reward for knocking on that door. There is no prayer as well that is ever turned away. Sometimes the answer that we may receive is not the one that we think we are looking for. But Hashem knows what's best for us. It is always the right answer.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Yiftach HaGiladi 982 BC –Now unfortunately many of the stories of Tanach took place in areas that I cannot take people to and show them to. See we have two tribes Reuvein and Gad that lived on the other side of the eastern side of Jordan River, which today is being "occupied" by Jordan. However as we drive along  Highway 90 from the Dead Sea up to Tiverya through the Jordan Valley it is the perfect place to tell the incredible story of one of the stranger of Jewish judges; Yiftach

Our sages tell us that Yiftach in his generation is like Shmuel was in his generation. Shmuel was a great man and scholar, Yiftach was pretty much not as we shall see. But it is a lesson for us to no neccesarily look back and say none of our leaders and sages are as great as the generation before. There are no Chafetz Chayims Gaon of Vilnas or even Reb Moshe Feinstien. Every generation will have the leader that they deserve and need to respect them as much as those in Shmuel's generation respected him.

Who was Yiftach? He was the son of the "mistress" of Gilad who basically chased him out their home so he would not inherit with them. He went off and hooked up with some "empty" people, he words of the Tanach, or losers as certain presidents of the United States might call them. He settled in a land ironically called Tov- good. Some suggest that this was what they called the area outside of Israel as it was not obligated in tithes. The Talmud Yerushalmi seems to say it might have been the city of Susita is on the eastern side of the Kinneret in the lower Golan Heights. Although the brothers chased him away, divine irony always wins and in the end they came running back to him when they were under attack and being persecuted for 18 years by those Amonite marauders that would attack them from Jordan. Amon, by the way is near and where the city of Amman the capital of Jordan today is named after.  It took the Jews getting rid of their idols first for Hashem to give them their salvation. Interestingly enough their cries and prayers for salvation were not enough. Hashem wanted their repentance. But ultimately when they did get rid of them all Hashem gave them the idea to approach Yiftach for help.

We'll pick up next week with the end of the story.

  

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S JEWISH WINE JOKES  OF THE WEEK

A guy came to a rabbi, and said “please save my marriage.”

The rabbi asked what happened? And the man said: “I was honest.

“I was out for a drink with the wife last night. I finished two bottles of wine. And I said, ‘I love you.’

“‘She asked me, ‘Is that you talking, or the wine talking?’

“I said, ‘It's me........I'm talking to the wine!’

 Berel was the town shikkur/drunk. Once he got on a bus one day and sat down next to a priest.

The drunk stank of wine, his shirt was stained, his face was all red, and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket.

He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple of minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replied, "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man."

"Imagine that," the Berel the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologised. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis, Father," said Berel, "but I just read in the paper that the Pope does."

  

What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There's clearly room for more wine.

Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.

The secret of enjoying a good bottle of wine:

1. Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.
2. If it doesn't look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.

  

A priest was driving down the road one day when got stopped by a cop.

The cop smelled alcohol on the priest's breath and saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He said to the priest, "Father, have you been drinking?"

The priest replied, "Only water, officer."

The cop then asked him, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest looked at the bottle and said, "Good Lord! He's done it again."

 "

The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benjy was coming up to his 108th birthday so they sent one of their reporters to interview him.
"How do you account for your longevity?" asked the reporter.
"You could say that I am a health nut," Benjy answered. "I have never smoked or drunk alcohol, I am always in bed by ten o'clock, I’ve been going to Israeli dance classes since I was a teenager and I've always walked three miles a day, even in rain or snow."
"But," said the reporter, "my uncle Shlomo followed exactly the same routine and he died when he was 70. So how come it didn't work for him?"
"All I can say," replied Benjy, "is that he didn't keep it up long enough." 

The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk" The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go.". Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."

There's nothing to whine about with these wine jokes - they're grape! In fact, they're di-vine; a barrel of laughs, you might say!

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Answer is B–  Got this one right too… I very easily eliminated nachal taninim and alexander both of which I knew are know the coastline near each other. Alexander they cleaned up and has great turtles over there and Taninim as well has a lake I've taken tourists too fishing I believe. Besor I wasn't sure about, but I knew that Tirtza is in the Shomron and so assumed it flowed down to the Jordan Valley. In fact it is the biggest stream in the Shomron area. Basor turns out is by Obdat near Midbar Tzin where I just was yesterday. And that flows down through Gaza to the Mediteranean. So I guessed right Tirtza is the right answer putting me ahead of the game with the score being Schwartz 2 and 1 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.