Big Mouth, Big Brother, Big Question- Pesach 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

April 2^nd 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 24 14^th of Nissan 5786

 

Pesach

 

Big Mouth, Big Brother, Big Questions

 

I have a big mouth. I talk a lot. I don't really have much of a filter. I say what's on my mind, or even more accurately what's in my heart. As I tell my tourists (those were people that I used to take around this country that seems to be extinct at the moment), at the onset of my tours, that I apologize in advance if they thought they would be getting the politically correct tour guide today. Unfortunately, he couldn't make it. They got me instead. Today they get to hear the real story.

 

It's not just tour guiding though. It's me in my shul during my sermons. It's when I did Jewish out reach all over the States. It was me back when I was a kid and yeshiva bochur, which is why I moved around a lot. Or was moved around to be more honest and accurate. It's me as a husband and father and certainly as a sibling. I say it like I see it. I call it the way it is. I'm bad at puling punches. I lay it all out there. And let the chips fall where they may. More often than not, it's usually on my own head. Yet, at the same time, a lot of what I say penetrates. It impacts people. It gives them pause or a new and different way of thinking. It perhaps even gives them a license to say or express out loud some of the things that they've thought about or even believe. It generates discussion. It opens up the world. I believe it's what we're all meant to do. Someone just needs to tell you it's alright. So here you go. It's alright.

 

Now I'm not saying that you should utilize this license at all times and with all people. I've only given you a driver's permit. You need to still have real licensed experienced driver like myself sitting next to you. To learn how to navigate the backlash. To know how to do it with love, with humor and with a self-deprecating confidence that doesn't come off as looking down at those with differing- although misguided and wrong views. To do it in a way that not only people still love you afterwards but will take you on another tour, will not unsubscribe, at least right away from your E-Mail and may even donate and sponsor it. To do it in a way, that they understand that you love them. That it's really not about you being right, it's about them being right. Doing right. Not making fatal errors in judgement, in politics, in Torah and in life. When they feel that love and you become good at that, then you can do it and start driving on your own.

 

There is one night a year, when you can drive without me. One night, when the mitzva is to talk and talk and talk.

V'chol ha'marbeh li'sapeir – and the more that you talk

harei zeh meshubach- the more praiseworthy you are.

 

It's tonight. It's Pesach. Our sages tell us that the word Pesach, homiletically of course, is Peh Sach- the mouth speaks. Tonight, is the night to let that tongue all hang out. To put it all right out there on that Pesach Seder Table. No holds barred. No political correctness necessary. It's time to tell it like it is. Like it really was. Like it's always been. And like how god-willing it will never be again. We'll be redeemed. We'll be home. We'll get to that last stage of Dayeinu, That we build the Bais Ha'Mikdash to atone for all of our sins. So tonight, we've all got the mike. No more fake news. Let's get real.

 

I'm going to ask you a question, that I think wouldn't be a bad question to start your seder off with. But before we get to that ask question, I want to ask you another one first. Are you reclining? Are you comfortable? Do you have your four cups of salvation all poured and ready to go? Ok here's the preliminary question. Are you free tonight? Are you planning on be free? Are you ready to leave Egypt? See, the obligation tonight is to be able to feel as if we left Egypt. That's the end game. If you didn't get there, then I hate to tell you, no matter how much matza you cram in your mouth, I'm not sure if you fulfill your primary obligation. So, I ask you again, the preliminary question. Are you ready to be free and leave Egypt tonight, or not?

 

Good. That's the right answer. See, I knew that's what you would say. You didn't do all that Pesach cleaning and cooking for nothing. You're ready. You're feeling free enough to give it all up and come home, right. To be in the Bais Ha'Mikdash. To hit that v'haivaisi- that fifth cup, we've been saving for so long. So let's get to the real question now, that I want you to start off your Seder with, because to a large degree, I think this is the key to us finally getting there. It's the question, we've never really asked before. Think of it as the fifth question. The question Eliyahu Ha'Navi is asking us, to know if he can drink that cup with us or not. Here goes. Are you ready?

 

OK. Here it is. If tomorrow, the Jewish people decided to elect you to be the Prime Minister of Israel. You're the boss. You get to make the decisions. You get to determine what happens tomorrow. Sure, there's still a Supreme Court and an Attorney General. But you don't care. You can make quick decisions before they chap. You can push a few buttons. You can declare a war. You can send out the police, the army. You're the Commander in Chief. The chips can fall where they might fall afterwards. But you can take the job tonight and it's yours. Would you take it?

 

Now, I think I might have lost some of you, by now after this first question. But, I want to stay with those few of you that responded yes to that question. You know, the ones that said that they want to be free tonight. The ones that aren't just faking it and lying awkwardly on the side of their chair leaning on a pillow pretending to be free. So, you guys that are still with me, here's the follow up question. Now that you're Prime Minister, what are you planning on doing with that power tomorrow. What are you going to do to express that freedom and show that you're not a slave to Pharaoh, the world opinion, or what anyone else has to say? What are you going to do fulfill that mandate Hashem gave us and what He expects from us? Because after all that's the only thing we need to be scared of. We're not slaves of anyone else. Right?

 

OK, so here's a bit of a checklist. Are you ready, One we know that Hashem wants us to build or at least prepare the ground for his Bais Ha'Mikdash. Whether we actually have to start the construction project ourselves or He's gonna just ship one down from above, is not the immediate agenda. What's clear is that He's not planning on having any roommates when He get's here. He doesn't swing that way. He's the Jealous God type, He tells us. So therefore, job number one. Clean out the idolatry from the land. It's a job He gave us a long time ago when we first came into the land. Wipe out, burn, destroy and eradicate all false religions from the land. Their altars, their churches, their mosques. Clean em all out. Get em off the Temple Mount. Out of His Holy city. Out of His land.

 So, job number one. Tomorrow. As the new prime Minister are you ready to do that? Are you ready to clean out the land? To give the order to the police to stand down as the Hill Top boys do what they want. If not, then you can join the other guys that even copped out of the job in the first place. You're still a slave to the "what-will-the-world-say". If not even worse, to your own sense of Western Idolatrous political correctness that seems to be uncomfortable with a world where not every religion has the right to practice freely.

 

Now, I know some of you might say. Yeah… but Christianity isn't really idolatry. Islam for sure isn't. It's not like they're pagans. They do believe in the one true God. They just distorted him a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah… That may have been true in a world that's not on the way to being free and having the Bais HaMikdash in it. That may even be true in Chutz La'Aretz. But for Jews that's idolatry. For Hashem it is too. I know that. You know that. It's not what a world redeemed, that we're meant to bring to redemption, should look like. Should stand for.  Here in the land, there's no question, that if we have the power, which I, in the name of the Jewish people, have just given you. And which you yourself claim you have, as you're wearing a Kittel and claiming to be truly free tonight. There's no question that we should destroy it. That Hashem doesn't want them or it there.

 

OK, good with that? Let's continue. Next rule. Are you ready to give an ultimatum, which is really a follow up to the above action, that anyone who is not willing to accept Judaism as the only real religion and true faith of Hashem has to leave or be killed? Anyone that doesn't accept that the land of Israel is our inheritance. It belongs to us and that non-Jews are only permitted to live here as gerei toshav- as second class non-citizens that can enjoy whatever benefits we choose to give them, but they certainly can't vote. They certainly can't practice any other religions. And they're subject to our Torah laws, although they don't have to convert, and we don't even accept conversions at this point in the game, when we're on top. We know it's only for their blue and white card.

 

Now just to clarify as well, this law is in effect in the new/old biblical borders of Israel. There's no Area A, B, or C, anymore. There's no Palestinian Authority. They can't own guns. This is the West Bank or the biblical land of Yehuda, Binyamin, Ephraim, and Menashe. It's Gaza. It's Lebanon up to the Litani.  It's basically everywhere that Hashem gave us 60 years ago in 1967, but that we didn't feel free enough to actually claim as ours. We wore kittels, blew a shofar or two, reclined and said "har ha'bayis bi'yadeinu" but we were just pretending. Because despite all the miracles, Hashem showed us. How we literally saw 5 armies that were ten times our size run away from us, in the biblical style. How he/ we quadrupled the size of our country in six days. But we couldn't believe that He was strong enough to back us up to actually claim the land He had handed us. Just like the 4/5ths that stayed in Egypt after witnessing nine of the plagues couldn't believe that it was for real either.

 

Read that last sentence, again. Please. Now again… Yes. That 4/5^th is me and you that see miracles and still don't believe it's for real.  As I said, we're being real today. We're saying it all. I'll get back to that in a question. But I just want to finish up with those of you that are still sitting at the Prime Minister table. Because I've got a few more tasks, I want to ask you if your ready for tomorrow. It's a big day and we've got lots to do. Thank God you're still wearing your kittel and reclining and enjoying this liberating freedom of not needing to worry about anyone else besides being the eved Hashem.

 

OK, we've got the Temple Mount. We've got rid of the churches and mosques. We've got all the land we've conquered already with everyone that wasn't ready to play our Jewish Divine shuffleboard game. And we've shuffled a lot of those that didn't want to play off the board if not out of this world. Now for the next step. The parts of Israel that are ours that we haven't conquered yet.

 

So are you, Mr. or Mrs. Prime Minister ready to head on into Jordan to reclaim our land on the other side of the Jordan. 1/4^th of Klal Yisrael almost, the tribes of Reuvein and Gad and Menashe (most of them) are counting on you. See, in Mitzrayim we could afford to leave 4/5^th behind. But not this time. Everyone's going to come. And they're all going to want their tribal heritage land. Which means Jordan. It means Egypt down to the river. It means a nice chunk of Syria past the Chermon up into parts of Turkey and to the Euphrates. Are we ready to start launching rockets and conquering it?

 

The last time we did, I know we had Moshe Rabbeinu doing it for us. He killed every man, woman and child over there. The Torah tells us he didn't leave anything breathing. Lo hish'ir bahem serid. He set the precedent. Hashem told us to the same thing, he did when He brought us into the land. Yehoshua, even stopped us, the Talmud in Sota tells us, in the middle of the crossing of the Jordan river, while the river stood up in the air. There he gave us that first Shabbos Ha'Gadol Drasha ever. He made us take an oath, right there and then, that we would conquer the entire land. We would inherit it. He warned us, that if we didn't then we would actually die there right now. That the water would come crashing down on our heads. It seems he needed to give us that speech then, because if he didn't then we wouldn't feel strong enough once we came in. We'd attribute the miracles that took place to "cool amazing things that Hashem does for us". Thank You Hashem. Mizmor L'Toda. But that still doesn't give us enough backbone to be free and actually go in and take the entire country and tell them where to go. To clear it out of all the abominations that are foreign to Hashem. That He doesn't want there. So are you ready Mr. Prime Minister for that as well?

 

OK, there's only one last thing that's necessary as well. See, I know that some of you Prime Ministers are not yet here in Israel. So, imaginably all of you are obviously free enough to come home and live here. You're not scared of serving in the Army and making you not frum. Because you're obviously going to change that. You're not scared of the Supreme Court or Attorney General. Because you'll get rid of them. Fired first 30 seconds of your job. You certainly aren't scared of giving up your house, your job, your yeshiva, your chavrusa. Because ultimately, you're free enough to know that all of that is baloney compared to the one real role Hashem Chose us and set us free to accomplish. The goal of building Him a house. Of serving Him on this Mountain. That's there. It's in the Hagadda, you read while reclining like a free man. That's all a given that you're comfortable doing.

 

The question though is Mr. PrimeMinister-free-Seder man still-in-Chutz-La'aretz, at least until you pack up your stuff. Are you comfortable telling your non- Jewish neighbors that you're leaving? Are you comfortable telling them "thank you for the great time here" but I need to go home? But here's the most important part. Are you comfortable or better yet feel free enough to tell them that you're leaving because tomorrow Hashem is going to blow up the Vatican? He's going to destroy all their churches. He's going to reveal Himself as the God whose only child is our Nation, and frankly He's quite offended by the concept that He has another kid that someone made up that He slaughtered and crucified on a cross that they've been promulgating.

 

Are you free enough to slaughter all those politically correct western democratic values of freedom of religion, freedom of speech, of prayer and to put its blood on your doorpost? To hang that only one True God and all other religions are baloney and will be destroyed flag outside your house. That's what free people that are not slaves need to do. It's the one and only thing Hashem told us we needed to do before He took us out. We had to make the real statement at least to ourselves. That if He freed us and killed our enemies from us. Then we would be able to actualize that freedom. That we could truly act free and that the only one would ever worry about, is our One Master in heaven. Our Father who is waiting for us to bring home.

 

On the night that we brought that korban Pesach. 3300 years, today, Hashem killed the first-born of the Egyptians. The entire story of our Exodus to a large degree is about this moment. At the beginning of this entire story Moshe, in the name of Hashem tells Pharaoh. That if he doesn't let us out Hashem will kill his first-born. Because we are the First-Borns of Hashem. The process of the plagues and the miracles weren't so much about punishing Egypt as it was in creating us as His First Born. It was about giving us enough of a sense of confidence, to be more than all the other children of the world are to Hashem. The First- Born has to be different. The job of the First-Born is to teach the rest of the children of the family about their Father. Because He's a bit of a Father himself. He's the oldest. He's been there the longest. He's the chain between heaven and earth. Between the parent and the rest of the world. And to do that, he has to have a mouth. He has to be free to express himself. To express who his Father is.

 

Hashem wasn't just looking to liberate a persecuted nation. He's the one that put us there in the first place. He told Avraham 220 years before we went down to Egypt, by the Bris bein Ha'besarim that we would be going down there. It's the deal he cut with him to teach him how we would be able to inherit the land. He would enslave us. He'd give us a taste of what happens to a nation that's worried about what the world will say, rather than their Father. It would hopefully teach us the hard lesson of what happens when we come down to a place and feel too comfortable there. Where the path of trying to ingratiate ourselves to them and building up their economies and pyramids will lead. And then He will take us out. He will make us free. He will preform miracles for us.

 

And then, the day will come, when He will have a First-Born nation, who just like Avraham our Patriarch, will fear no one. Even if it means being ostracized, thrown out lambasted in the press, be called an ivri- on the opposite side of the politically correct immoral world and western mindset. Even if it means being thrown into the fiery furnaces they might roast us with. We won't be scared. Ein od Milvado- won't just be something we say when we have a court case we want to win or when a building inspector is coming to check out our properties or Nursing Homes. It will be the flag that we hang outside of our doors in galus and the destroyed churches and places of alternate false worship in Israel. Because we know that we were chosen for this job. That we really are His only First-born. And that we can feel free enough, if not obligated to say it. To take the job that He's given us. To be His Prime Ministers- His nation of Mamleches Kohanim that we agreed to come on that Mountain that He brought us to.

 

It's not fun to think about ourselves as possibly the 4/5^th that may not have felt strong enough to see all the great miracles and still feel too weak to take that freedom being handed to us. It's so much easier to talk about them as being the ones that weren't as frum as us. The ones that were also idolators. That aren't shomer Shabbos. That spoke lashon harah and had sinas chinam. That had smartphones and internet. That certainly didn't have as much emuna and bitachon and Torah and mitzvos as we do. To think that we're the wise son, while everyone else that's not as frum as me are the wicked sons whose teeth need to be knocked out. But, tonight's not the night we're here to make you feel good about yourself. Certainly not on the head of those that aren't as what we perceive as not being as frum as us. You didn't get that tour guide. And we're not reading that Hagadda tonight.

 

Tonight's about asking ourselves, today, if we're ready to be truly free. If we feel we have what it takes as the 1/5^th did back then did. The 1/5^th were still living in Egypt. Pharaoh was still a strong king with a big army. Pharoah also believed in Hashem as did many Egyptians who brought in their animals and even fought with Pharaoh to let us go. It didn't make sense to upset and cause more anti-Semitism by slaughtering their distorted sense of Hashem plus a sheep. Or whatever deity they added on to Him. We were still in galus. We need to just bow our head and wait for the shofar. That's what the 4/5^th said. 210 years of exile can do that to you. 2000 years can make it even harder. To be honest, I don't know if I would take the job as Prime Minister myself. It's hard. It's a leap. It's scary to stand up to the world. Am I free enough to be free?

 

Back then, 1/5^th of our nation was able to do that. The 1/5^th were a lot less frum then us today. They were much more assimilated. They were on 49^th level of tumah. They didn't have our Torah. Our Mitzvos. Our Achdus. They didn't have our October 7^th, our Holocaust, our Inquisition, our Crusades. Of the millions of martyrs. They as well didn't have the benefit of seeing the great miracles of the return to the land already happening. The land flourishing after being desolate for 2000 years. The return of so many children to Hashem. The destruction of enemies and even the tzitzis and payos and tefillin and Torah being studied in our army that's only songs are about Hashem. About Shema Yisrael.

 

 We have that today. We're standing in the Yarden once again, with Hashem holding that Divine Iron Dome and clouds of Glory protecting us from falling Fire Truck size ballistic missiles falling over our head and He's asking us if we can do it. If we're finally ready. Can He have that fifth cup with us?  Can L'Shana Ha'bah finally we all be together in Yerushalayim.

 

Have a liberating and redemptive Pesach,

 

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

  

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" Az men vil nit alt vern, zol men zich yungerheyt oyfhengen" – If you don't want to grow old, hang yourself when you're young.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/hinei-lo-yanum-israel – My beautiful composition Hinei Lo Yanum- we need not fear. Hashem's not sleeping Dovid Lowy amazing arangements

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vehi-shemada   - The most powerful Vehi She'amda since Shwekeys. Listen closely and hear the generations of Vehi She'amda songs in the second harmony low part. Whadda an arrangement Dovid Lowy- always taking my songs and making them gold!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/melech-rachamon  - And here's my only song with me giving an introduction. The longing for the Bais Hamikdash Melech Rachaman… Its much better than SY's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwv8kuYhFn8&t=383s  – If you've got time and want to listen something truly glorious. The Yigal Calek family did an amazing concert here with all the greats!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV-WaeC93cY   – Miami's latest release Hashiveynu… they're back!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZEpGrrYrRU – It's not Pesach without a new Maccabeats acapella release- Break Free

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

27. The main site for the disposal of toxic waste in Israel is called _______________

 In which of the following areas is olive cultivation a major industry?

A. Jezreel Valley

 B. Zevulun Valley

 C. Beit Netofa Valley

D. Sakhnin Valley

  

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Why is this King Different?- 353 BC- As we know, at that party of Achashveirosh that we said started this month of Nissan utilizing the vessels of the Bais Ha'Mikdash, Achashveirosh was not punished. Rather his wife Vashti as killed. In fact, Achashveirosh ends up reigning for 14 years, 11 years after the Purim story. The commentaries ask why was he different then Belshatzar? Why wasn't he as well punished for desecrating the Bais Ha'Mikdash's vessels and even more so for causing all the Jews to sin?

 

The answer given by the Sefas Emes is a powerful one. He suggests because Achashveirosh didn't fully deny the prophecy of Yirmiyahu that we would be in exile only for 70 years. He saw that we had already returned to Eretz Yisrael. The Temple had even started being built. It was just halted. Incidentally this was at the behest of the 10 sons of Haman, the book of Nechemia and Rashi tells us in the Megilla. That's why they're hung. It's a hidden part of the story in the Hidden scroll of the Megilla. What Achashveirosh doubted though was whether there would be Geula Shlaima. Whether we all would return. When there would just be a State of Israel where Jew lived, but certainly not a place where all Jews would fulfill their mandate of living and bringing the light of Hashem by building Him home where his Glory could rest. That was his heresy. That was his "White House" Chanuka Party.

 

Because he believed in the return of the Jews to Israel. He believed in the "atchalta di'geula" although not the entire thing, that merit was enough to save him. Only his wife Vashti was killed. That's a pretty hefty message. What does that mean for us today? Is there a value of seeing the geula even though it's not complete. To see the return to Eretz Yisrael of Jews even though the Temple is not yet built yet as being a significant fulfillment of prophecy. That the end is around the corner? The Sefat Emet certainly saw that as a value. Something to ponder as we sit down to our seder and think about what that redemption means for us.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE IRAN WAR JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Latest bill in front of the Knesset to prohibit the asking of the Ma Nishtana. Becasue during war is not a time to ask questions...

 

These days one doesn't know if the smoke coming up in Bnai Brak is from a missile falling or Burning of Chametz

 

Mazel Tov on the new establishment of 10,000 Sefirat Ha'Omer reminder groups that were opened this morning on the heels of the Eiruv Tavhsilin ones...

 

T-Shirt I bought last week. I survived Missiles in Israel Osher Ad Pesach shopping.

 

Siren songs-

Things that sound like sirens. Ambulances. Motorcycles. Pigeons, gusts of wind, creaky doors, Everything sounds like sirens…

 

Israelite Home Front Command in Egypt

Biological threat of the Ten Plagues

A widespread biological event is affecting the land of Egypt. Manifesting itself as multiple hazardous events (plagues)

INSTRUCTIONS FOR HOUSEHOLDS

All guidelines remain in force until further notice.

Blood- Water Pollution

Avoid Nile water- store clean water for use

Frogs- amphibian invasion

Seal doorways and remain vigilant at night

Lice- Parasitic infestation

Wash thoroughly and wear clean garments

Flies-Insect Swarm

Avoid all exposed areas cover well all food and drinks

Livestock Disease

Keep livestock sheltered and healthy

Boils- Contagious Sores

Burn contaminated rags, treat sores properly

Hail-Destructive Storm

Seek shelter indoors until storm passes

Locusts- Consuming Swarm

Seal your home, collect and burn all leftover locust.

Darkness- Foul Darkness

Keep lamps lit, stay indoors during darkness

Death of Firstborns- LETHAL EVENT

Immediate life-threatening risk,

Occurs during designated night period

Requires full compliance with protective instructions

REMEMBER FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS SAVES LIVES…

 

If the Iranians really wanted to mess with us they wouldn't use explosives. They would fill their missiles with bread crumbs. Weaponized Chametz

 

The War Time Shower prayer

With this warm shower, may no rocket pay a call

And during a siren may no siren sound at all

With soap on our hands, may we make no frantic dash

Nor run to the shelter mid-suds and mid-splash

And while we are dripping and mid-towel drying

Maye we not be sent running and frantically flying

Mae we safely emerge from this swift hygiene run,

Completely rinsed off and not merely half-done

May a miracle help us catch a lucky break

And let us wash our hair for heaven's sake!

 

There have been ten rocket attacks today. If we hit 13 we'll have to wish each other Mazel Tov on our bomb-mitzva

 

Anyone mind taking a small package for me from our textiles factory in Dimona to Tehran.

 

I got the feeling this morning that the mother of some Iranian is cleaning up her machsan/storage unit and found it full of chametz missiles and she's just throwing them away in panic.

 

You know we're at war, when I got more messages on my phone today from Homefront Command then from Kupat Ha'ir.

 

Today at 2:00 AM switch your clocks to whatever time you want. It's really not relevant to most of us anymore anyways.

 

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The answer to this week's question is D– This was a tricky one on the second part at least and I got it wrong. The first part though, I knew even before I watched the News yesterday and saw that Neot Chovav Israel's main recycling plant located in the South was hit by missiles. We visited it in our tour guide course, I have no idea why… Yet the second part was hard. I don't even know why they're answer is correct even after checking Google and ChatGPT. The truth is there are Olives in all of those regions. Jezree'el though is much more wheat and Netufa valley is even mentioned in the Talmud Yerushalmi, I believe as the last place where the wheat remains. That left Sachnin and Zevulun. I went with Zevulun, the answer was Sachnin. Not sure why… but I'll take the hit.  So another week of only half right and the new score  of Rabbi Schwartz having a 19 points and the MOT having 8 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

Dog Gone- Parshat Bo 2022 5782

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

January 7^th 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 15 5^th Shevat 5782

 

Parshat Bo

Dog Gone

 

It’s a small little basement in Ashkelon; a city where there has been a tremendous renewal in connection to the Torah and Mitzvos in recent years. Yet this basement shteeble has turned into a beacon of Torah and classes for many non-religious families, the large sign on the door Midreshet Zikaron Igor standing proudly as a strong and great merit to the faithful canine in whose memory the learning center was established. Wait… did you say canine? As in a dog?! Yes, I did. Igor was a good dog. He was loved by his owners and in his death he began a revolution of Torah that he will always be remembered la’tov for.

 

It was in middle of the first Gaza War and Reb Shmuel was heading over to Ashkelon to give a Torah class and visit some people in this city that had been hit repeatedly with missiles. As he approached the city all of a sudden an air raid siren went off. Being familiar with safety protocols unfortunately from the many air raid sirens and wars he’d been through since our unilateral disengagement from Gaza and the subsequent fulfillment by Hamas of their side of the agreement which was that they would continue to try to kill us and push us into the sea, he immediately began to pull over to the side of the road to take cover. Yet Reb Shmuel wasn’t the only one that was rushing to find shelter. Igor a fine Israeli collie as well was pretty scared of Katyushas- I mean not as scared as he was of Israeli cats, those really frightening creatures that wreak havoc on the streets and alleyways of Israels. Hmmm maybe they’re really meant to be spelled Catyushas, you know spelling in English is never really been a strong point for Israelis. So Igor ran to take cover under Reb Shmuel. Little did appreciate that the car was still in motion. Oops. Bump bump. Bye bye Igor. May his memory be blessed. Or as they say in Yiddish (k)alev ha’shalom

 

After the siren Shmuel saw a crowd gathering around Igor. He quickly made his way over to the owners and apologized profusely explaining what had happened, how Igor had just ran under his tires and how terrible he felt. He offered to pay for the dog and wanted to know if there was anything he could do to make them whole for their tragic loss. They were touched by his sincerity and they even asked him if he wouldn’t mind giving them a Torah class. One thing led to another and the class expanded until the point where the family decided that they were going to build a Torah study Midrasha in their basement and they wanted to name it after Igor. After consultation with Rav Zilbershtien his Rav who found numerous sources where great sages in the Talmud showed their appreciation to the animals that served them well, Zikaron Igor Torah center was born. And I’m sure Igor is shepping lots of nachas up there in dog heaven.

 

This story of Igor in fact has its roots or bones in the beginning of us becoming a nation. In fact at the moment that we became a nation on Pesach eve when the 1^st borns of Egypt were killed, ours were saved, we slaughtered the Pesach lamb, ate our 1^st Seder and had blood on our doorposts, the Torah tells us one more spectacular fact. Whereas in Egypt the Torah tells us that their will be much crying and wailing all night long like there never was before.

 

 U’lchol bnai Yisrael lo yecheratz kelev l’shono- and for all of the children of Israel a dog will whet its tongue against either man or beast, in order that you shall know that the Hashem will separate between the Egyptians and between Israel.

 

In reward for the dogs overcoming their natural desire to bark, particularly on the night of a full moon and when death is lurking all over the place they were rewarded. Later on the Torah tells us that all of animals that were not properly slaughtered should be thrown to the dogs. As well they are given a special verse in Perek Shira to sing to Hashem. But perhaps the most fascinating and strangest reward that not everyone knows about is that every set of teffilin, mezuza and even Sefer Torah has it’s parchment prepared with ummm how do I say this nicely… that stuff that people walk around in a bag with as they walk their dogs in the morning in order that they don’t get fined for leaving it on the floor where people can step on it. It boggles my mind every time I see people doing this, by the way. I mean I don’t even change diapers. But anyways that’s pretty impressive, you have to admit. All for not barking Pesach night. The question though is why was this so important. Does it really make a difference if they bark or not?

 

Perhaps even stranger is that the Torah tells us that the reason why the dogs were not supposed to bark is so that they should know that there’s a difference between Jews and Egyptians. Really??? What the fact that no Jews died and all of the Egyptian first borns did isn’t enough? We’re told that even Jews that had fully assimilated and were hanging out in solidarity with their Egyptian buddies even if they weren’t in their houses with the blood spattered doorposts didn’t die. In addition to that wouldn’t it seem that after the ten plagues already the Egyptians would’ve gotten the point? What does no dogs barking prove or teach more than has already been shown to them? Why was this miracle so critical that they are rewarded eternally for really just being quiet for a few short hours if even?

 

The answer, like most good answers can be best understood with something my mother always used to tell me- or maybe still does. It’s an old bit of Yiddish wisdom. She would say “when a dog barks- you don’t bark back”. If someone is yelling at you, if someone is calls out some names, or puts you down- don’t feel the need to respond. When a dog barks at you, do you feel the need to bark back? I hope not. Why not? Because you understand that he’s a dog and you’re not. Bila’am turns back and starts yelling at his donkey. It’s funny because it makes him look like a donkey and not the one from Shrek either. Do you know why the dogs didn’t bark that night, in order to teach the Jewish people who had been slaves and treated like animals for centuries, that when they achieve they’re freedom, remember there’s no need to bark back.

 

If you look at most revolutions that take place in the world. From the French Revolution, the American Revolution, the Slave rebellion and even dare I say BLM or January 6^th  2021 on who’s anniversary I’m writing this, do you know what they all have in common? The revolutionaries became chayos ra’os- they became wild beasts. C’mon who doesn’t remember that loser last year with the horned hat out of some bad Flinstones cartoon on his head. They guillotined everyone, they raped, looted, killed the people that persecuted them for so long. They became barking dogs. They became the same as their oppressors, in some cases even worse than them.

 

Hashem wanted the Jewish people to know that their freedom from Mitzrayim was going to differentiate them from the Egyptians. When they leave they will ask the Egyptians nicely to borrow their clothing. What a strange commandment! It’s something Hashem repeats numerous times, it’s almost as essential as the Pesach offering that He commands us. Not just ask them if they could borrow it, but rather borrow it from their neighbor, from their friend. Not just their neighbor and friend but that even the Egyptians will look upon them with chein- with favor, with grace and with respect. Our Exodus from Egypt will be one where there is no dogs barking. Because if we don’t bark at them, than they will as well be transformed and reminded that they have the spirit of Hashem in them as well. Hashem tells the dogs not to bark so that all will know that there’s a difference between Jews and Egyptians. We don’t bark back at them. We can lift up from the lowest of the low, from the excrement of the dog and turn that into a sefer Torah. Into a mezuza. We can in our silence and the holding back of our bark transform our spirit into Perek Shira- into an eternal song for Hashem that tells the whole world that there is holiness inside of us. That is the doggone lesson that we are meant to teach to the world.

We are told that before Mashiach comes the face of the generation will look like the face of a dog. There are many explanations given in this cryptic statement. But there is lots of barking going on in the world today. People are no longer communicating. It’s all about what today they call having the right sound-bite but it’s really a sound-bark. Angry blogs are angry dogs. Radio rants are just whelps of untamed hounds. There’s just so much noise of Mitzryaim while the plague is decimating us. Their screams are rising up to the heavens like it never did before. We just need the silence of the dogs already too recognize that we don’t need to respond. It’s all from Hashem. He’s getting closer and closer to redeeming us. We just have to be quiet enough to hear our Master’s whistle calling to us to come.

 

Have a redemptive peaceful Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Az men shloft mit hint, shteyt men oyf mit fley - If you sleep with dogs, you get up with fleas.     

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

10) Next to Beit Shearim stands a monument in memory of: __________

This character is associated with:

A) Histadrut Poalei Eretz Israel

B) Palmach

C) Protection of the lands of this country

D) Beitar

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://youtu.be/emmOu6xMYp4   - Zusha’s latest song Hareini Michavein Holy of the Holies.

 

https://youtu.be/VhoDe2WuZvA   – You’ve heard of SIRI but the Jewish version is Avraham Fried- with this funny Mendy Pellin latest

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sthTxtK51Xg  - Yoel Gold’s latest inspirational story and video “Signed at Sinai”

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZx_TgcAH8A – Hisyatzavu this week’s Parsha a Fried Classic

 

https://youtu.be/xam01uaj6Vg – This is the song that the Dogs did not bark Pesach night…HA!

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Our First Born -Parshat Va’eira- We reach the pinnacle of our Exodus with the plague of the First Borns. Since the beginning when Moshe tells Pharaoh that we are going to leave Egypt, he tells him that the conclusion will be the death of the First Borns of Egypt. Yet this plague is different than other plagues in many ways. The Jews have to put blood on their doorpost, they are commanded to eat the Pesach lamb, they’re given the mitzva of the sanctification of our First Borns, not only of our babies, but even of our animals. What is the symbolism and message of all of this?

 

The Nesivos Sholom brings from the Slonimer Rebbi in Toras Avos that the concept of bechor is that of oneg- the choice and most enjoyable aspects of life. There is the Bechor of Mitzrayim and there is the bechor that the chosen nation that dedicates in pleasures and desires to Hashem. Redemption can only come when the Bechor of Mitzrayim is destroyed, when we recognize that all their pleasures and enjoyments without a connection to Hashem are meaningless; are Tamei. In Egypt they are the 49^th level of impurity as far and as dark as they could become.

 

Hashem lists three levels of First born of Pharaoh.

From the first born of Pharoah who sits upon his throne- This is the desire for honor, desires of glory, wealth and prestige.

To the first born of the maid servant- these are the more baser desires of the physical nature. The lusts that we have that turn us into slaves in our pursuit of them

And all of the first borns of the cattle- these are the lowest animalistic desires that are even outside of the scope of human natural desires. They are the desires that debase us and that are perversions.

 

When Hashem tells us that He will destroy the First borns of Egypt He is referring to the power and connection that we had to these desires that we were enslaved to. It was the perquisite to our being redeemed. In order for that to happen we needed to ourselves recognize and sanctify those drives to Hashem. We would take their “god”, that lamb and slaughter eat and eat as commanded by Hashem; on His terms. We would put the blood on our doorpost declaring that in our homes our physical pleasures and enjoyment comes from Hashem and His commandment. We sanctify our First Borns of our children and our animals as well declaring that idea that all of our natural and even animal desires will be sanctified. We have light. We have Shabbos.

 

Each Shabbos we recall this moment of redemption by celebrating this day with all of the physical desires that are precluded by Kiddush. By appreciation Hashem’s control of the world and the incredible commandments He has given us to enjoy this day. It is a day each week when we become redeemed. When we celebrate our Redemption. When we bask in the enjoyment of Oneg Shabbos because we recognize that all the goodness comes from Hashem and it is only truly meaningful when we enjoy them in His service.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Eretz Kabul and Giving up Land- 827 BC-   Not far from Karmiel where I live is an Arab village called Kabul. Tradition has that in the village is buried the prophet Micha as well as Reb Yehudah Ha’Levi and the Ibn Ezra. Its an ancient Jewish city where in the times of the 2^nd Beit Hamikdash there was a Mishmaret/ family of Kohanim called Shechania that lived there, which today has a neighboring Jewish village by that same name. As well there were tana’aim that lived there in the period of the Mishna although the Yerushalmi tells us it was destroyed during the period of the Bar Kochva revolt as a result of the sin of machlokes that took place there. But where does it get its name from?

 

Well, the Navi tells us that after the building of the Temple, Hiram the king of Tzur who had donated the cedar wood for the Beit HaMikdash came to check out the new building. Can you imagine the entourage he might have had? We have a few stories in history of great gentile leaders that came to Israel. Alexander the Great during the 2^nd Temple, Franz Josef and the Kaiser Willhelm during the Ottoman Empire and of course most recently the Pope and Donald Trump to name a few. Well, this one ranks up there. In appreciation of his contribution Shlomo gave him 20 cities in the “land of the Kabul”. Chiram was not that impressed with them and returned them to Shlomo who gave him the fruit from there instead. I guess Arabs rejecting Israeli concessions of land is not a new thing.

 

The question though, certainly during this year of Shemitta where many have issue with the Heter Mechira concept of selling the land to non-Jews in order to avoid questions of working the land and fruits having the requirements of being treated special with the restrictions of the sanctity of Shevi’is, certainly is a timely one. Is it permitted to sell the land? Is such a sale or the giving of land to a gentile valid? So the answer seems to be that it is certainly not a good thing to give Jewish land to Arabs according to all opinions.  The torah has a prohibition of lo sichaneim- one should not give gentiles land here. So how did Shlomo do this?

 

There are some that take the approach that Shlomo exchanged cities with Hiram for friendship, so he wasn’t really giving up land. Others suggest that Shlomo never really gave him the cities but rather the crops that grew in these cities would belong to him. Tosafos offers many possibilities one of them being that perhaps Hiram was considered like a ger toshav a resident alien that one can give land to. On the opposite end of that approach the Ramban seems to hold that the prohibition is only giving gentiles land in Israel to live here. He even writes, fascinatingly enough, that if a Jew owns a house here but does not live here he does not fulfill his Mitzva of settling the land. So according to that if Chiram didn’t live in these cities and was never meant to live here there would be nothing wrong with giving it to him.

 

Yet at the end of the day, Baruch Hashem, Chiram didn’t take the cities. He didn’t like them because as he said they were Eretz Kabul. What does that mean. Some say that it was swampy lands, and others say that the people that lived there were “fine-shmekkers” that were too fancy to work the land. Either way it stayed in Jewish hands. During the original partition plan of the State of Israel, the modern-day village was meant to be part of the Arab State. Yet history repeated itself when the local village surrendered to the Israel army forces in 1948 and the land of Kabul once again remains as part of the Jewish State.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE DOG JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Where do Jewish dogs go to pray? The Synadogue

What do you give an angry Jewish dog? A muzzle-tov!

 

A guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. He tells the bartender, “I got a Jewish dog named Moishe. He’s so smart he actually talks. Can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?''

''Dogs can't talk, pal,” replied the bartender, “but if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, well, let’s just say you don’t wanna find out.''

''Okay,'' says the guy. He turns to his dog. ''Okay, Moishe. Tell me – what is on top of a house?''

''Roof!'' The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

''THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!''

''Okay, Moishe. Tell me – how does sandpaper feel?''

''Ruff!"

''What the heck you tryin' to pull, mister?'' said the bartender.

''Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question. Okay, Moishe, tell me – who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?''

"RRRuth."

The bartender had enough and picked up the guy and his dog and threw them onto the sidewalk outside of the bar.

Moishe stands up and looks at his owner. "Wow. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

 

Benny’s dog has died and he goes to see his rabbi. "Rabbi, I wonder whether you could find the time to say a special blessing at my dog's grave?"

The rabbi replies, "I'm afraid it isn't possible, Benny. In fact the rules don't really make any allowance for animals."

Benny says, "But I'm really upset, rabbi."

"So maybe you should go to see the Reform rabbi over the road," says the rabbi.

As Benny walks away dejectedly, he turns to the rabbi and says, "What a shame. I was willing to donate £1,000 for such a service."

At which point the rabbi shouts, "Come back, come back."

Benny turns round and says, "I thought you couldn't help me."

"Ah," says the rabbi, "but you didn't tell me your dog was Orthodox."

 

One early winter morning, an old Chassid was walking beside the canal when he saw a dog in the water trying hard to stay afloat. The old Chassid jumped in and after a struggle managed to bring it out alive. 
A passer by saw this and said, "That was so very brave of you! Are you a vet?" 
The old Chassid replied, "Of course I'm vet! I'm freezing cold as vell!"

 

Shmuel had a bad car accident involving a large truck. Weeks later, in court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Shmuel.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

Shmuel responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I just put my dog Moishele, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

 Shmuel said, "Vell, I just got Moishele into the car and vas driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Shmuel's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his dog Moishele".

Shmuel thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Vell, like I vas saying, I just loaded Moishele, my lovely hundteleh (dog), into the car and vas driving him down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I vas thrown into one ditch and Moishele vas thrown into the other. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I heard Moishele moaning and groaning. I knew he vas in terrible shape just by his groans. Den a Highway Patrolman came along. He could hear Moishele moaning and groaning so he vent over to him. After he looked at him, and saw vat terrible condition Moishele was in, he took out his gun and shoots him between the eyes. Den the Patrolman comes across the road, gun still in hand, looks at me and says, "How you feeling?"

 "Nu, Judge, vat vould you say?

 

A little old lady get on a plane. She's carrying a bag, a purse and a little dog in a box. She sits down and puts the box on the seat next to her. 
A stewardess approaches and says, "I'm sorry Madam, but you can't keep the dog here. I'll have to take it and put it in baggage." 
She agrees. What else can she do? 
During the flight, the stewardess looks in on the little dog, and Oy Gevult, the dog is dead. She informs the pilot who notifies airport who tells the director who decides that they will get an other dog to replace this one. The little old lady will never know. 
When the plane lands and she goes to the baggage hall to claim her box, they bring her a box with a new dog, an exact replica of her old dog. "This is not my dog", she exclaims. 
"Why yes it is," the captain tells her. "See, it has the same markings." 
"This is not my dog", she insists. 
"How do you know this isn't your dog?" asks the captain. 
"My dog is dead I was taking it to Israel to bury it."

 

And Adam said, "Oh Lord, you do not visit me anymore in the garden. I am lonely here and it’s getting hard for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "OK, I will create you a companion who will be a reflection of my love for you and you will then know that I love you at all times. Regardless of how childish, selfish and unlovable you are, your companion will always accept and love you."

And God created a new animal for Adam and God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Oh Lord, I can’t think of a name for this new animal. All the good names in the animal kingdom have already been assigned."

And God said, "OK, because I created this animal, his name will be a reflection of mine and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and was a good companion and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

Later, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Oh Lord, Adam now struts around like a peacock and believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught Adam humility."

And the Lord said, "OK, I will create another companion for Adam who will see him as he is. And this companion will remind him of his limitations and he will soon know that he is not worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT. And Cat would not obey Adam. When Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Cat did not care one way or the other.

 

Morty visits Dr. Saul, the veterinarian, and says, "My dog has a  problem."
Dr. Saul says, "So, tell me about the dog and the problem."
"It's a Jewish dog. His name is Shloimeh and he can talk," says  Morty.
"He can talk?" the doubting doctor asks.
"Watch this!" Morty points to the dog and commands: " Shloimeh, Fetch!"
Shloimeh the dog, begins to walk toward the door, then turns around and says, "So why are you talking to me like that? You always order me around like I'm nothing.  And you only call me when you want something.  And then you make me sleep on the floor, with my arthritis.  You give me this fahkakta food with all the salt and fat, and you tell me it's a special diet. It tastes like dreck!  YOU should eat it yourself!  And do you ever take me for a decent walk? NO, it's out of the house, a short pish, and right back home.  Maybe if I could stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn't kill me so much!  I should roll over and play dead for real for all you care!"
Dr. Saul is amazed, "This is remarkable!  So, what's the problem?"
Morty says, "He has a hearing problem!  I said 'Fetch,' not  'kvetch.'"

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Answer is C – I really don’t expect anyone who’s not a tour guide to get this one right; neither Part 1 or Part 2 of this question. But as tour guide that tours Beit Shearim a lot, I knew this one, no problem.  Alexander Zayid was a bit of a controversial figure, he was from the founders of an organization called Bar Giora which later expanded and became the Shomer Hatzair a vigilante Jewish protection force that would watch over Jewish lands from arab vandals and thieves. He eventually broke from the over ideological issues and was later killed when he was ambushed by some arabs. He’s perhaps most famous for discovering the ancient Jewish cemetery in Beit Shearim, the central cemetery in the period of the Mishna and Talmud and where Rebbi Yehudah Ha’Nasi is buried. He’s immortalized by a big statue of him on a horse behind Beit Shearim National Park. They kind of put him there where no one really could find him or know about it because of old political rivalries. Nice… But of course it’s as well most appropriate because the incredible archeolgical park in fact one of the few in Israel recognized by UNESCO is in his honor. The answer the score is now Schwartz 7.5 and 2.5 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.