Signs Language- Parshat Shemot 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

January 9^th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 12 20^th of Tevet 5786

 

Parshat Shemot

 

Signs Language

 

"I talk and I talk and I tell you again and again and it's like I'm talking to a wall!" my mother would tell me. "It's like it goes in one ear and comes right out the other".

 

I would of course correct her and explain that she was wrong. It never even went into the first ear. In general all of her important exhortations repeatedly to me, to buckle down, to do my work, to brush my teeth, to clean my room, to take out the garbage, to say Shema before I went to sleep, to listen in class, to do my homework, to be nice to my sister, to not engage in unhealthy activities, to look both ways before I cross… etc etc etc… And that's just what she told me yesterday 😊. They never even made it into the first ear. It's like I have this soundproof cone of silence thing (for those that remember "Get Smart" show) that would drop down over my ears and just make all that Mussar into a nice calming sound canceling Yoga like meditation hummmm ooooommmmm… that just never registered. What can I say? I just seem to have developed this Mussar Acceptance Deficiency syndrome. Maybe it was a side effect of some vaccine I had when I was a kid. Note to Trump – Thank you for your attention of seeing to this matter.

 

Now the truth is she has the final laugh, as most Jewish mothers do. Because her traditional Jewish mother's favorite curse that my children should give me as much "nachas" as I gave her was certainly fulfilled. Yup, what goes around comes around. As we plant so shall we sow. Yet, it seems this problem is not just a Schwartz family issue. It's generational that began way back when from the beginning of our nation. It starts back in Egypt. It starts in our parsha. It's the beginning of our exile and the secret to our redemption.

 

The book of Shemos begins with us coming down to Egypt. The truth is we really didn't even necessarily have to be there in the first place. We left off in Parshat Vayechi with all of the Jews pretty much heading back to Israel to bury Yaakov. We were there already. Why did they come back? Sure, Hashem had promised Avraham back by the Bris Bein Ha'Besarim that covenant He made with us that we would be persecuted in a foreign land for 400 years and then we would be redeemed. But as we know we were only there for 210 years. Hashem started the count way back from the birth of Yitzchak. Which would mean that we could've fulfilled that "foreign land" promise even in Israel, as did Yitzchak and Yaakov and the tribes even before coming down. Because, as the commentaries explain, Eretz Yisrael was still not ours. Kind of like we have it galus in Israel today still.

 

Now you might then ask well what does it make a difference if we are in galus in Egypt or in Israel? I've had some tell me that as the reason why they feel more comfortable staying in America then making aliya. But here it's being under house arrest, over there your locked away in a jail somewhere. House arrest could understandably be worse, after all you're locked up with your kids and spouse all day long in close quarters and if you don't get along with them, then you're in trouble. But hey, that's a lot better than gas chambers and concentration camps or being in a prison yard with Bubba. Obviously Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov never felt any need to "self-exile" out of Israel to fulfill this covenant. Neither did the tribes, until they sold Yosef. If Hashem wants us to be there, then He's fully capable of making that happen. But if we have and had an opportunity and the ability to go back, shouldn't we have done so?

 

Now the truth is one might argue that they couldn't go back to Israel. Pharaoh wouldn't let them. Well first of all just a few minutes before Yehuda said he would wipe out the whole Egypt to save Binyamin. Shimon and Levi took down the whole city of Shechem. When we want to do something, we do it. Hey look how this little fledgling army of Hagana fighters in 1948 of 50,000 wiped out a half a million Arabs from five countries in the War of Independence.

 

Now yes, Pharoah did kind of hold their babies behind as a collateral, when we went to bury Yaakov and actually did leave Egypt and return to Israel. Their cattle as well, it seems. As he didn't think just holding our babies would be enough. We might just leave the kids and make new ones, I guess. Hey, we were popping 'em out a half a dozen at a time. But our sheep, our cattle, our nursing homes and our meatboards, our Teslas and Dubai chocolate, that we couldn't take with us. He knew that we would never leave all that behind. And he kept them to make sure. But surely there must have been plenty that didn't have kids. That weren't married. That were retirees. Why didn't any of them stay in Israel? Why come back on those trains that were heading straight to the Egyptian slave pits. To the gas chambers of Mitzrayim.

 

I saw a fantastic Chasam Sofer last week, that says that is in fact the reason why right when they came back they were worried that Yosef was going to take revenge against them. It's why Yosef never explicitly said he forgave them. He just told them that it's all from Hashem. He says because Yosef was upset that they even came back. The famine was over. There was nothing holding them there. Why head back to Egypt. Why not go home? He thought maybe it's because they would think that they would it have it better there with their brother in the White House. They had protektzia. So what did he do. He turned them a cold shoulder. He stopped inviting them over. He wanted them to understand the tide had turned. They should head out. They should go back to Israel. Finish off the galus there.

 

Yet, they didn't get the message. They stayed and populated Egypt. They became the largest zip code in the entire country. If you didn't see the reference there… the 08701 zip code officially became the largest, fastest growing one in the entire United States of America yesterday- mamash this week's parsha va'yifru va'yirbu va'ya'atzmu bi'meod me'od- they became fruitful and multiplied and became very very great there. And thus Yosef only at the end of his life resignedly turns to them and tells them pakod yifkod- Hashem will have to take you out of here. It looks like you guys are here for the long hall. You ain't never leaving until the God Almighty Himself will shlep you out. So please take my bones with you when you do. And thus the Egyptian exile begins. All because we didn't listen. It went over our heads. In one ear and out the other. Yup it's an ancient problem that repeated itself and does so today, every single generation that thinks "this place will be different".

 

But how does it all change? How do we change? How do we start unclogging our ears and eyes? How does the redemption come? It's not my question. It's not my mother's either. It was Moshe's question. There they are for about a week or so by this burning bush back and forth arguing about saving the Jews and heading down to Egypt. Moshe wants to know what Hashem's name is. How he could do if he's got all types of speaking disabilities and stutters. Why would Pharoah listen to him. And Hashem answers him back with all types of deep and mystical answers and promises of miracles. And then comes the big question and excuse.

 

"But they won't listen to me. They won't believe me. They'll say Hashem never appeared to me".

 

Moshe knows our people. He doesn't wear a black hat. He doesn't have a shtreimel. He doesn't daven their nusach. He's a Baal Teshuva. He never learned in Brisk. His parents were divorced. He couldn't get his kids into a mesivta in Lakewood, probably not even into a camp in the Catskills, let alone make it to the Moetzes Gedolei Ha'Torah, Fuggedabout convincing the Jews to make Aliyah. Reb Aharon never moved to Israel, Reb Yaakov didn't. The Lubavitcher Rebbe didn't. Reb Moshe didn't. So what makes this guy called Moses who was raised in Egyptian palace and married a Midianite priests daughter and who has a jail record and outstanding warrant for his arrest for "Divine Name-icular homicide" think he's going to get through to this people.

 

And so Hashem gives him the answer. He asks him a simple question.

"What's that in your hand, Moshe?"

 

Now Moshe is obviously holding his staff and He knows that Hashem knows that as well. So he assumes probably that what Hashem is pretty much telling him is that the answer to how to get the Jewish people to listen to him is via the staff. Don't spare the rod. Smack 'em on the head. Give them some petch. Beat them. I've had rebbeim like that back in the day. Snap that belt. That should work. Except he's wrong.

 

Hashem's got a better plan. The beating people over the head thing never really does the trick. We've got thick skulls. We just dig in deeper. Rather Hashem tells him to throw it on the ground. Chuck the stick. Been there tried that. Time for a new plan. Rather what happens next is amazing. The staff turns into a snake and Moshe sees it and is frightened and runs away. Woahhh. Since when did a little snake scare Moshe. As we will see later in the Torah when Hashem brings a plague and tells them to put up a copper snake and it will heal them. It's not the snake that heals or kills. It's sin. So why is he scared? The answer is because, as Hashem tells Moshe, he sinned. He spoke Lashon Harah against the Jewish people. You said that they won't listen. That they won't believe you. That's Lashon Harah. That's looking at them with a bad eye. That's snake stuff. That's why Moshe runs away. He feels that now he's for sure done. He can't redeem the Jewish people anymore.

 

But then Hashem calls him back and tells him something even more amazing.

 

"Pick up the snake by the tail, Moshe"

 

Own your aveira. Don't run away from your sin. Grab it. Hold it by the tail. Turn it around. Make that your strength. And boom that turns into your new staff. That can become your tool do get them to listen to you. That will be the first sign that will start to convince them that I appeared to you. That they should start to listen to you. Staffs don't work, but you know what does? Speaking down to people with a stick, with a threat, with fear tactics, none of that stuff really works in the long term. Do you know what does? When you come to them and tell them. I sinned. I spoke Lashon Harah about you. I made the same mistake you did. I have the same flaw that when I left Mitzrayim, I thought that you had as well. Rashi tells us that after Moshe kills them Mitzri and he's confronted by Dasan and Aviram, Moshe says Achen noda ha'davar- Now I understand why they're in exile. They deserve it. They snitch. They speak lashon ha'rah. They look down on one another. And now Moshe himself falls prey to that same sin. He found the snake in himself. Now he can come back to them and tell them. I'm also guilty. I'm not holier than thou, or any better. I'm in the same Nile as you. Let's take our snake by its tail and own it as well. Now let's get out together.

 

But it's even more than that. Because Hashem gives him a second sign. Because there's still a problem. OK, Moshe, they might tell him. We believe you're one of us. But who says we can get out of this? We do have a problem. We do look down. We do judge. We don't accept others. Not in our schools. Not in our camps. Not in our shuls. How will we be redeemed? So Hashem gives him sign number 2.

 

"Now take your hand and put it in your chest.". That hand that you just picked up that snake with. That hand that is now holding that sin. That hand with which you looked down upon when your brothers raised it against one another. Take that hand and put it on your chest and on your own heart. Klop al cheit with it. Take that lashon harah hand and see the tzora’as on it. And say al cheit. Say you're sorry. Say you learned your lesson. Say you want to do teshuva. And then klop and put it back again and poof. It's back again normal. You've been restored. That's all it takes. One klop. One teshuva and Hashem forgives you. It's not hard. It doesn't take a lot. Our essence is really pure. We can jump and skip out of the 49^th level of tumah with one skip. With one sacrifice. With one statement that we want to be redeemed. Hashem wants us to come out. He saved me from death. He cleaned my impurity, my sin. He can do the same for you. He can bring us home. We can leave.

 

Those two signs are the way to get through to the people. It's the way that we can have our faith restored. It's how we can begin to come together. Exile, galus is when we are fighting. When the shechina can't shine and have one Bais Ha'Mikdash to come down to and shine it's light out of to the world. If we are divided then Hashem can't be one amongst us until we find that oneness amongst ourselves. Until we realize we are all on the same boat. Until we have that humility and that owning of our own sins then we can't speak to other people about theirs.

 

Yet, Hashem gives Moshe one more sign. He tells him that if there are still Jews that the first two signs are not enough for, there's one more sign that we all can agree with. There's one last thing that all Jews unite and can appreciate that will bring us to the redemption. He tells Moshe to take the water from the river and pour it on the ground and see it turn to blood. Do you know what that blood is? It's not the blood of the plagues. Because if it was, why would that convince them more than any other plague. Reb Zalman Sorotzkin suggests that perhaps it is the blood of their children that were drowned in the Nile. That blood-stained water of the Nile will unite us. All of us lost children to Egypt. We all suffer equally. Our neighbors, our enemies, our cousins, our "host" nations don't care what type of hat or Kippa we wear. They don't care if I'm a Kollel Rabbi or a left wing chiloni kibbutznik from Be'eri or even a Palestinian flag waving Harvard student or Neturei Karta-nik. We've all lost children in the Nile. Their blood is calling to us from the ground. We're all bereaved parents. We really are all in the same boat and know that we have to be redeemed. That Hashem won't let this go on any longer.

 

The book of Shemot that we have begun reading is the Book of Redemption. The Geula is around the corner. We have seen all of the signs. It's just time to open our hearts and our eyes to one another. To truly believe in Moshe. Our Father is talking to us. It's time to start listening.

 

Have a spectacular Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 " Der vos farshtait zein narishkeit iz a kluger."- He who is aware of his folly is wise

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

15. Synagogues in Israel in which there are no chairs and benches and instead worshippers use

prayer rugs, belong to the __________ stream of Judaism.

 

Which two sites in Nazareth are connected by the "Pilgrims' route" which serves tourist

and pilgrim groups in the city?

A. Catholic Church of the Annunciation and Mary's Well

B. Mount Precipice and the Catholic Church of the Annunciation

C. Greek Orthodox Church of the Annunciation and Mary's Well

D. Mount Precipice and Synagogue Church

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqp0a6E2hOo&list=OLAK5uy_mjwSa44x4OcZXT4s680UUq97iftEFv2WQ – Shwekey's latest Shabbos Drop Shabbos Tefillos- what amazing songs!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsOH-VEWUKE&list=RDCsOH-VEWUKE&start_radio=1   -  What an amazing long listen. A kumzitz for Yigal Calek first Yartzteit!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYuZL9ZIOPs&list=RDEYuZL9ZIOPs&start_radio=1    – Yitzchak benezra amazing Shabbos medley.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0GcF_HTAys&list=RDN0GcF_HTAys&start_radio=1 – A new Fried Shalom Aleichem ! nice… I like fast ones..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDzR-xHCcPQ&list=RDGDzR-xHCcPQ&start_radio=1   – MBD preforming Oy Rebbe in memory of the Ribnitzer Rebbe.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

When Jews get too comfortable and public… - 370 BC- So as we said last week, Darius/ Daryavish ruled over the entire Middle East and lots of Asia too. He divided the empire up into three regions with 120 vassal countries and they were run by achashdarpanim- ministers of which Daniel was the head of them all. He had a special place for this yiddeleh- as do many smart heads of State, particularly since he foretold and interpreted the dreams and visions of Belshatzar that told of Dairus's victory and ultimate ascension to power. Yet with Jewish popularity and influence begins the protocols of Elders of Zion. We're running the world behind the scenes and the goyim don't like it. They never do…



Now Daniel's enemies though were in a bit of a bind. How do they get the Jew that Darius the King loves and respects. The answer is simple. They use the Supreme Court. Always the enemy of the people and the tool of those that seek to destroy us. They convince Darius that it's worthwhile to pass a law in honor of his ascension that anyone that needs anything, that has a special request could only bring that request to the King who will then fulfil it. It's forbidden to pray and make requests of other kings or even gods. For Darius is like a god himself. He's the all powerful. He's Trump. You don't mess with him and he is the only one that can make things happen. Anyone that is caught praying or requesting anything from any other being- divine or human, will be considered a traitor and will be sentenced to death by being thrown into a Lion's den. Nice.

Now Daniel had this funny custom that seems like started by him which was called davening three times a day. See while the Temple was around, nobody really davened, besides basically just asking Hashem for what they wanted. We had sacrifices instead in the morning and evening and cleared away the ashes and burnt the remains in the evening. Our prayers are in place of those korbanos. But Daniel insitituted his own custom of davening and thanking Hashem and prostrating. He would do this by the window where all could see him. He wasn't really asking Hashem for requests so he technically wasn't even violating he decree, which is why he would've never endangered his life for this custom. Yet, it didn't help him. He was arrested while davening and set to trial. And here we have the first Dreyfuss trial in Jewish history post-temple, with Daniel vs State and the King couldn't even do anything to save him. What happens next…? Stay tuned.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE LISTENING JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

I wish I'd listened to what my parents told me when I was young...

What did they tell you?

Me: I don't know, I didn't listen

 

I told myself I should stop drinking...But I'm not going to listen to some drunk who talks to himself.

 

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

 

What kind of paper likes listening to music? Rapping paper

 

My wife said to me "Are you even listening to me?!"

Strange way to start a conversation.

 

People these days think all kids in the 90s listened to boomboxes. That’s just a stereotype.

 

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened. He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

 

I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”

I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...

A woman is sitting at her husband's funeral listening to the eulogies being read...

A man in the pew behind her leans forward to ask, "Do you mind if I say a word?".

"No, not at all", she replies.

The man stands and clears his throat.

“Bargain", he says, and sits back down.

"Thank you", the woman responds, "it means a great deal."

 

After listening to me sing, my high school music teacher said that I should be tenor…

Ten or twelve feet away from all musical instruments at all times.

 

What was the drunk driver listening to? The Cars' Greatest Hits.

 

My wife let me listen to her audiobook, but I accidentally deleted it halfway through.

Now I’ll ….never hear the end of it.

 

What's the difference between a good listener and a kidnapper? A good listener takes people seriously.

 

A cowboy is riding across the plains when he comes across a Pawnee indian lying down with his ear placed against the ground & mumbling something.

Knowing what great trackers the Pawnee are the cowboy gets off his horse and puts his ear to the ground, but he can't figure out anything just from listening.

So he gets up close to the Indian to hear what he's saying:

4 horses.

Pulling covered wagon.

2 people riding in front of wagon.

1 man, one woman.

2 children in back of wagon.

1 boy, 1 girl.

Girl have cake on lap.

Writing on top of cake say, Happy Birthday Jenny!

The cowboy jumps up in amazement & says to the Indian, "That's fantastic! You can tell ALL that just by listening to the vibrations from the ground!!!!!"

The Indian replies: "No. Them run over me half hour ago!".

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The answer to this week's question is A– So I definitely would've skipped this one, although I ended up getting the Xtian part of the question right by process of elimination. I had no clue about the first one, and the truth is if I would tour Jerusalem a bit more maybe I would've got it right. But the Karite synagogues really are not at the forefront of my mind. So I really didn't have anything to answer. As far as Part B. as I said I don't really do the whole Christian thing But I did remember Mary's well there. I think it had to do something with a story they stole from us I think about Hagar and an angel revealing and saying she's gonna have a kid. They never come up with their own stuff. The reason I remember it is because I found it funny that this was probably just a water hole used as a sewer in Byzantine times and wasn't even around back then. Another Bubbeh mayseh… But I wasn't sure if it was Catholic or GO and I went with he Catholics and was right! So I got that one half right and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having a 11 point and the MOT having 4 point on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

Lessons of the Lashon -Parshat Behaloscha and Shelach 2019 / 5779

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

June 18^th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 37-18^th of Sivan 5779

Parshat Behaloscha/ Shelach

Lessons of the Lashon

 One of the most unfortunate aspects of the passing of the previous generation of my grandparents is the loss of their keen insights and sensitivities that were so obvious to them, yet are lacking in our modern world. This past week marks the yartzeit of my grandfather and as memories of him and his pleasant loving ways flow through my thoughts I recall many of the lessons he taught me in his simple loving way.

There was one lesson that I remember which as children he would drill into us regularly. Whenever we were eating over his house -which is generally the activity we engaged in if we were in feeding range of my grandmother- and there was something we did not like, perhaps the oily latkes or the _____weeks old leftovers that she insisted were still good, As children we learned very rapidly that we could never say “uchh the food is bad"or “eeww it looks disgusting”   for my grandfather's reaction was like lightning. A frown would quickly come over his usually smiling face and he would scold us and say “Never call food disgusting.” “If you don’t like it say I don’t like it but don’t speak badly of food.” Perhaps it was a reaction due to the lack of food he may have experienced during the war years, but I believe he was also training us to a perspective and sensitivity about how we should speak and the import of watching the words that comes out of our mouths. 

This week's Torah portion also brings us an incredible lesson in the laws of watching the words that we speak. We are introduced to the unfortunate saga of the twelve spies of the Jewish people who were sent out to tour the land before the nation’s arrival. (Upon reflection, I'm sure they had wished that they had taken me as a tour guide- a tragic mistake that some people surprisingly make sadly enough, and that can lead to dire resultsJ… ourholylandtours.com- "the tour that will never have you bad mouthing Israel"- and now back to your regularly scheduled E-Mail). Upon their return and after their praise for the land they began their speech of impending doom

They brought forth to the Children of Israel an evil report on the Land saying
“It is a land that devours its inhabitants! All the people were huge .. And we were like grasshoppers in our eyes and so we were in their eyes.”

 The wondrous fruit that were so large was used as a tool to terrify the people as to the unnatural size of the inhabitants. The deaths and funerals they witnessed on their mission which God had miraculously provided so they would be inconspicuous (according to the Midrash), were viewed to be signs of a disease ridden country. And the people mourned. That fateful Tishah B'Av became the national day of mourning for opportunities missed and of lessons that had to be learned. The lesson of the spies …
“And the men who Moshe sent to spy the Land and who returned and spoke evil of the Land died in a plague before Hashem”

 This rather harsh punishment The Medrash tells us is because they should have learned from the lesson of Miriam in the previous Parsha Behaloscha- the one you guys in America are still reading, the Torah portion juxtaposed to this one, which shares with us the incident of the Lashon harah- literally translated as “evil tongue”  of Moshe’s sister Miriam who wrongfully accused Moshe of being “holier than thou” in his separation from his wife. For speaking evil about the greatest of all men she is punished with divine tzoraas (a spiritual/ physical malady resembling leprosy) and is sent out of the camp until she is healed. The Spies are accused of not having learned the lesson of Miriam and her punishment for speaking Evil.

What is troubling however is it seems that there should be a difference between the two. I think many of us can agree we should not speak lashon harah about great people or even not such great people. But about a land? About sticks and stones? About my grandmother’s week old to'tat paprikash (Hungarian stuffed peppers which seemed to breed in her fridge-oops there I go again) It doesn’t seem like anyone will get hurt.

The answer I believe reveals the essence of the Torah’s concept of lashon harah. The Sin of lashon harah is not necessarily a Sin about speaking gossip or slandering and hurting another. The greatest damage of lashon harah is to the one who speaks it. For in speaking and examining others and the world in a negative critical light, one trains oneself to becoming a negative person. And there is no greater damage that one can cause to himself then that.

Miriam was punished not because she hurt or harmed Moshe. Moshe was the humblest of all men. It was because she bred negativity and death within herself. Tzora’as was just the natural reaction to the “spiritual poison” she had bred inside of herself- as spiritually natural as a poison ivy rash is when ones body comes in contact with it. The Spies in the same vein should have learned it makes no difference if we are speaking about a person or a land or the food on your dinner plate, it is the perspective of viewing things with the eyes of lashon harah that leads to destruction.

 The counter force to Lashon Harah is an Ayin Tovah, A Good Eye and that is also the perspective my grandfather always shared. “Itz vet Zein gut” “It will be good” was always on his lips. The ability to look at the world as the wonderful place that is a blessing from Hashem. The perspective that the things that may seem bad or disgusting on our plate of life is only from our jaundiced view but never inherently bad, is one that I sorely miss and that the world could surely use. May we all merit to avoid the pitfalls of negativity and lashon harah and rectify the sin of our nation so long ago by seeing the positive in all that we encounter.

Have a perfect Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Mit a meisseh un mit a ligen ken men nor kinder farvigen”- With a fairy tale and with a lie you can lull only children to sleep.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/1dvw7yyK1As  – Atlanta Boy’s Choir with my nephew Yakov Golding (can you spot him?-hint he’s the one that kisses the mezuza J))

https://youtu.be/sCnC2IxemS4  – Rocking song and cool video Netanel and Sruli Ahavat Chinam

https://youtu.be/iuBSvMFpR-s –New Shewekey video and song At Times Square I am Alive

https://youtu.be/e6aZwSApTmI  - And a Neieh Shmili Ungar song as well. Kilini!

https://www.aish.com/j/jt/Jtube-Frasier-Lashon-Hara.html- and for those of you Frasier fans- the perils of Lashon Harah at the office

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

Q  A period named after the use of metal:

A. Paleolithic

B. Neolithic

C. Chalcolithic

D. Holocene

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Shelach– Ahhh, there’s nothing like a good lomdushe question. A diyuk, a troubling word that needs explanation. If you notice one while you’re learning, stop and write it down. Come back to it another time, or maybe someone else will. Regardless. Lomdus isn’t only the answers. It’s the question and diyuk as well.

This week the great 19^th century sage the Malbim writes a question and it is fascinating to see how it has been answered over the next century by two other great sages and lamdanim; The Shagas Aryeh and Reb Yehoshuah Leib Diskin- the Rav of Brisk. The question he notes is that the Torah tells us the story of the person who violated the Shabbos- the Mekoshesh- by gathering in sticks who was ultimately put to death. The story is introduced by a seemingly extraneous fact.

Bamidbar (15:32) And the children of Israel were in the wilderness and they found a man gathering wood on the day of Shabbos.

The Malbim notes that it seems to be obvious that they were in the wilderness. All 40 years they were only in the wilderness. Why does it start off this story telling us this? See, that’s the diyuk. The Shaagas Aryeh who was asked this question responded. That there is an opinion in the Talmud that the sin of the Mekoshesh was that he carried in a public domain which is forbidden on Shabbos. The problem is the Talmud notes earlier that a midbar- wilderness which is a place that is uninhabited is not considered a public domain. The Talmud however answers when the Jewish people were there then it is considered a public domain. Aha! If that’s the case, then we understand the reason why the Torah introduces the story with the Children of Israel being in the wilderness. For it is only when they are there that it has that status.

Reb Yehoshua Leib however asks that the answer of the Shaagas Aryeh only works according to the opinion that the sin of the Mekoshesh was carrying in public. However, there is another opinion that he was cutting wood on Shabbos. If that was the case, then why is it necessary to introduce with the idea that the Jews were in the midbar? He answers that the truth is one has an even more important question- See lamdanim and Jews do that in general; answer a question with a question. Where did they get wood in the midbar from? It’s a wilderness not a place of forests and trees?

He answers that the midrash tells us Hashem made them grow special to give the Jewish people a beautiful experience as they wandered through the wilderness. It grew when they came and disappeared when they moved. If that is the case, then perhaps one would not be biblically obligated for cutting them on Shabbos. They are not natural gidulei karka- trees that grow from the ground. They are miraculous trees. On that he answers that the Talmud tells us that when the Jews were living there they have the status as being permanent homes and the trees would as well have a status of regular trees. Once again, now we can understand why the Torah needs, even according to this opinion, to introduce the entire story with the header that “The children of Israel were in the wilderness.” Because they were there the trees were considered permanent and thus cutting them on Shabbos became a violation. A little diyuk and over a century of lomdus! Amazing and inspiring…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Division of the Land –Tribe of Dan 1265 BC – We are almost done with the 12 tribes and their portion in Israel. This week we finish up dividing the land with the last tribe of Dan. (Although next week we will really conclude with the biblical cities of Levi.) Now although last, it doesn’t seem to be that they lost out much. In fact the Gush Dan area is the most populated portion of Israel today. As well they had cities in the Shefela and even ultimately up North as well.

The coastal border is right in the center south of Tel Aviv near Palmachim and up to Hertzelia., basically the Yarkon river to the Nachal Sorek downriver. The navi names cities that are there until today. Bnai Brak. Yaffo, Ayalon (like the highway) Yahud and Gat Rimon.  The City of Beit Shemesh was theirs as were the surrounding villages Tzora’a and Eshtaoel. As well it included Shalavim and even Kiryat Yearim today’s Telshe Stone.

Now Dan was not successful in conquering all his area and therefore later on in the book of Shoftim we will discuss how he moved up North. The entire Tel Dan area was his tribe’s ultimate city where they spent most of their time. Yet it is pretty incredible that this last tribe to be listed, and the one that never really got their proper biblical portions because of the constant fights with the Philistines. is in fact the first area that really developed in the mass return of the Jewish people to the land of Israel as the various Aliya’s settled in Yaffo and Tel Aviv areas. The ingathering of all the tribes that is the legacy and blessing of Dan!

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S  YENTA JOKES OF THE WEEK

The Rabbi the Priest and the Minister are on a fishing trip. The Priest says "Since we are alone here with God, perhaps we can tell our greatest sins. This would relieve us and perhaps allow us to overcome our mistakes."

The other two agree, and the minister begins "I'm an alcoholic. Every Sunday, I look forward to the end of the sermon to go and drink my bottle of whiskey."

The Priest then says "I love women. Every Sunday, I look forward to the end of Mass to flirt with this pretty congregant in the front row."

The Rabbi’s turn came and he said "I love gossip. And this Shabbos, I can’t wait to get back to town... 

The Shul ladies club used to sit together every evening in a park and talk nonstop. One day they were sitting very very quietly. Rabbi Bernstien who would walk past the noisy group every day was surprised to see them all so quiet. He inquired about this to which they replied, "You see, today all of us showed up, so we don't know who to gossip about."

You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it… OY…

The new mailman is delivering a registered parcel and needs a signature so he rings the doorbell. Sadie sticks her head out of the bedroom window and says, "Nu, what is it?"

"I have a registered parcel for Mrs. Levy," he replies.

"Is it wrapped in fancy gift paper or just plain brown paper?" Sadie asks.

"Ordinary brown paper, madam," he replies.

"So who is it from?" Sadie asks.

"It's from Macy's department store," he replies.

"Does it say from which branch?" Sadie asks.

"Yes, madam," he replies, "it's from Main Street."

"Does it say what's in it?" Sadie asks.

"It says it's from their Cooking ware department," he replies. "Will you now come down and sign for it, please."

"Sorry," replies Sadie, "I can't do that."

"Why not?" he asks.

"Because," Sadie replies, "I'm Sadie Cohen. Mrs. Levy lives next door."!

JEWISH MOTHERS OF FAMOUS PEOPLE

MONA LISA’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“This you call a smile, after all the money your father and I spent on
braces?”
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER:
“I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still should have written!”
MICHELANGELO’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Why can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you know how hard
it is to get this junk off the ceiling?”
NAPOLEON’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“All right, if you’re not hiding your report card inside your jacket,
take your hand out of there and show me!”
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Again with the hat! Why can’t you wear a baseball cap like the other
kids?”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss
your allowance good-bye!”
THOMAS EDISON’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn it off and go to sleep!”
PAUL REVERE’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man,midnightis long
past your curfew!”
And then this one, who really did have a Jewish mother:
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“But it’s your senior photo! Couldn’t you have done something
about your hair?”

************

Answer is C–  Yup, becoming a tour guide in Israel entails learning about the “pre-historic” periods as well. This one was pretty easy. Because I actually knew that calcolithic meant the copper era which of course is one of the three metals (Broze and Iron age being the other ones). Neo-means New so that’s the Neolithic. Paleo is stone. Holocene I still have no clue what it is and that’s even after checking out my friend Wikipedia some climate era or something. Who really cares? The only reason I even know the calcolithic is because we went for an unforgettable 5 hour hike to the top of ein gedi to see their farshtunkeh temple there, which is pretty much a pile of rocks in a circle. That’s something you don’t forget. The hike I mean.. not the temple. So the score is Schwartz 26 and 6 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.