from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
January 1st 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 11 13th of Tevet 5786
The Godfather
"Family is everything" isn't the actual line that Marlon said, in The Godfather, although I had been practicing it all night with cotton balls stuffed in my cheeks. What he actually said was that "friendship is everything". The line I had confused it with was "A man that doesn't spend time with his family isn't a real man". (Said to Johnny Fontane in the beginning of that classic movie). Hmmm I wonder why I mixed that up… Maybe it's because I'm too busy touring with other people's kids and don't have much time to spend with my own… But hey, in Klal Yisrael we're all family, so I guess I do spend time with "family". But to quote a different line though which might throw that excuse out…"It's not personal… it's business…". Ah well… I guess I need to brush up a bit more on that family stuff and "be a real man".
Why am I in Godfather mode? Well, this past week I was honored and privileged to be the Sandak of my new grandson Nesanel Yehoshua's bris. There are some people that prepare for that honor by going to the Mikva, reciting Psalms, fasting, or other holy things. Me? I'm doing Marlon Brando imitations and thinking about the speech that I'll be giving the next day at the Bris. Hey, I'm the Godfather right? Oh yeah… I also had to start preparing "da money" after all they "made me an offer I couldn't refuse". And now it was time to pay for it.
Now Rivkah is always the perfect daughter of mine. She's the middle child. Perfectly in the middle. After the first two kids we finally figured it out and got it right. Unlike Shani who was just a little me in a skirt that would be a handful and felt that she owned the entire world. Little knowing that I did. Or Yonah who was climbing walls and ceilings and gave his mother a thousand heart attacks. Rivkah, was calm, peaceful and serene. I don't even think she cried when she was born. She just came out and quietly turned to her mother and said "Thank you for birthing me. I hope I wasn't too much trouble. It's a little bright in here. Would you mind turning down the lights a bit? "Yup. That's Rivkah. It's why she got the perfect husband Yehuda, who knew who to give the Sandak job to for this very special bris.
It's also why they made sure to arrange the perfect parsha for me to be Sandak for. Parshat Va'Yechi, the parsha that begins with Yaakov blessing his grandchildren and concludes with Yosef holding his grandchildren the sons of his oldest son Menashe on his lap, the Torah tells us as they are circumcised is in fact the first biblical source, according to the Yonasan Ben Uziel's translation of the job of Sandak. The Zaydie who holds the newest generation and brings him into the covenant of Avraham Avinu. Yup, no better parsha than this one to get the honor. And nobody better to give the sandak/ godfather job to for their second son than someone named Ephraim who got his blessing in the parsha and was even elevated over his older brother Menashe and whom all Jewish children are commanded to be blessed like these two brothers.
The truth is it's a fascinating and deep story this special blessing of Yosef and Yaakov when it comes to the blessing of these children/grandchildren that seems to precede the final blessing of all of the other tribes that follow that Yaakov gives to his children before his death and the conclusion of the Sefer of Bereishis. It is the segue between the book of our Beginning and the Book we begin next week of our Redemption; the sefer Ha'Geula of Shemos. As the famous narrative goes, Yosef places Menashe before Ephraim and Yaakov does the hand switch thing and places his right hand on Ephraim's head and his left on Menashe's. When Yosef protests and tries to correct his father, Yaakov tells him that he knows that Menashe is older, yet he says.
"I know that he (Menashe) will be a nation, and he will be great. Yet his younger brother -yigdal mimenu- will be greater than him and his descendants will fill the nations."
Rashi and the Midrash tell us that Yaakov saw that descendant Yehoshua coming from Ephraim, who not only will lead the nation into Eretz Yisrael, but will miraculously stop the sun in the sky in his battle in Givon against the kings of Canaan in order to wipe them out. The whole world saw and witnessed the miracle and that is the merit that Ephraim has that is greater than Menashe's. Not so incidentally, the name my second grandson was given, from Rivka for whom I was being Sandak was of course Yehoshua. I told you she's the perfect child.
Yet on a deeper level perhaps one can even see the strength that Ephraim has over Menashe is that the descendants of Menashe that Yaakov sees who also have a love and passion for Eretz Yisrael are none other than the daughters of Tzlafchad. They are the grandchildren and descendants of Machir the child that Yosef was the sandak of at the end of the parsha. Yet whereas the daughters of Tzlafchad yearn and even stand up and demand that Moshe talk things over with Hashem to see that they get a portion in the land of Israel which they otherwise might not have gotten, because the land was only meant to be inherited through the men, and their father had died without sons. They even married only men from their own tribes thus limiting their shidduch options (in a generation where there really was a big shidduch crisis- as most of the eligible men had died in the midbar) in order that the portion of their father they received stays within their tribe, rather than to a husband from another tribes portion. Yet that longing and "diplomacy" method as great as it is, isn't as great as Yehoshua's who actually doesn't take the diplomatic daven and pray for it route, but actually just goes in there and kills everyone that needs to be eliminated in order to inherit the land.
But there is something even more fascinating about the interesting wording of the blessing of Yaakov and the explanation that he gives to Yosef for this hand-switch-around methodology. Meaning, that if Yaakov wanted to bless Ephraim and show he's greater there was no need to switch his hands like that. He could've just rearranged the kids. He could've placed Ephraim on the right and Menashe on the left. What's with the hand switch?
The answer though it would seem and that some of the commentaries suggest is that it wasn't about making Ephraim greater than Menashe, it was rather about showing Ephraim that the greatness he will have over Menashe is as Yaakov says "mimenu" He will get it from him. Ephraim will be great when he understands and appreciates that all the greatness he has isn't because he's smarter, sronger, a bigger talmid chacham-which in fact it would seem he was, as it was him that was always learning with Yaakov rather than Menashe who was more involved with the management of the court. Rather the greatness he has, and the power Yehoshua his descendant will have to bring the children of Israel into the land and herald in the redemption, will come when he can look over at his brother and see that all he has is because of his brother, who may not be as learned as him, but has that same burning connection to Eretz Yisrael and passion, that his descendants will have as well.
It is this theme of the eventual redemption and the return of his descendants to Eretz Yisrael that consumes Yaakov at the end of his life in Egypt where his children are flourishing and getting very comfortable and influential. It's all he can think about. It's all he's worried about. We find that in the beginning of the parsha when he calls Yosef and makes him take an oath not to bury him in Egypt, or in Uman, or in Kerister, or in Morroco or Poland or Cracow. He wasn't a fan of the concept of his later descendants making trips to these places to go visit and daven by his grave. Not on Rosh Hashana or any other time of year. He wanted them to come to Chevron. To the place where his Father and Mothers, the avos and imahaos are buried. To remember that there's only one place where a Jew's body is returned to the earth from where it's formed.
As well when he first sees Ephraim and Menashe he doesn't recognize them, because he sees the kings that will come from that will split the nation up, Achav,Yeravam and Yehu, and that will divide the nation and that will eventually become the cause that leads to our exile from the land. It's as well as the main message he wants to give all of the tribes when he gathers them together. He wants to tell them about the acharis ha'yamim- the end of days when they will return. That Egypt is not their home. He gives them blessings that all speak of the incredible portions and blessings that each one will have in the land. The wine, the oil, the crops and fruits, the grazing land and of course merchants and Torah supporters as well as the kings, leaders, judges and priests. It's about coming home.
Yet to do that we need to be blessed like Ephraim and Menashe. We need Ephraim to look at his brother Menashe who is still standing in his place on the right of Yaakov, although from Yosef's perspective he may be on the left and realize that all of his greatness in Torah, in wisdom and leadership is only to lift up and bring his brother together with him. That we are both blessed and loved together by our one Father in heaven and our godfather Yaakov. It's then when Ephraim can fulfill his mission. He can bring the children home.
Chazal tell us that being a sandak is like being a kohen who brings the ketores- incense in the Temple. In fact it's why it's mentioned that a person shouldn't be a sandak for more than one child per family, as a Kohen doesn't bring the ketores more than once. What is the significance and connection of ketores of all the offerings to the mitzva of bris mila? I can tell you it's certainly not the smell… Perhaps it’s the idea I shared above. The first sandak at the first bris in the Torah the midrash tells us was in fact Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Hashem, by the bris of Avraham. That is in fact what we say by davening each day v'charos imo ha'bris- and Hashem cut with him the bris. Hashem held Avraham in his lap, as I did Nesanel Yehoshua, as he had his bris.
Do you know what this covenant of Bris is. It's the connecting force between all Jews. It's something that we share with every male Jew that has entered this covenant. It's like the Jewish gene that we all share, yet it's one that we injected or inflicted upon our own flesh. It's our own yellow star, Magen David. It's our mark that we're family. We're brothers.
It doesn't make a difference how different our customs, our dress, our observance and our passions our desires and our jobs might be. We're still family. We still have a shared destiny that needs to be realized together. We're like the ketores that consists of all of the different spices, smells and flavors that are brought each morning and evening in the Temple. Some are sweet and some are fouler. Some learn Torah and others find Hashem in other places, or perhaps even seem lost. They are Menashe- they have forgotten the house of their father. They have been uprooted, as his name connotes and translates, from their source, from Eretz Yisrael, from their father's house. But we share one bris. We share one blessing. He maybe right and I may be left, but we all have only one home and one Father whose glory we are meant to reveal. That was what our Godfather told and blessed us. That we should never forget that. It's the blessing we are meant to bless every Jewish child with. It's the segue to our redemption.
I don't know how many of you readers, actually read the rest of the columns in this weekly long E-Mail besides the jokes. Although if I had to guess probably the "yiddish quote of the week" is probably not one that many get a chance to read, although it does usually connect somewhat to the parsha and E-Mail and you should. Yet this week, as Godfather I'll quote and bless you all with the words of wisdom that can always be found in those snippets our bubbies and zaydies used to say. And of course a Sandak's bracha is one that has extra power. It's the blessing that I give to my grandson Nesanel Yehoshua and to all of klal Yisrael.
" Ver shemt zich fun zeineh mishpocheh, oif dem iz kain brocheh."- Whoever is ashamed of his family will have no blessings.
It's all about family, as the Godfather tell us. The family comes first. We live in a generation where so many of us are on such divergent paths. So many of us feel we're holier than our brother. We have forgotten the gadol mimenu- our greatness only comes when we see and can learn from them. From our brothers and sisters that are part of our mishpache and have sparks and journeys that are different than ours. But that are still holy. That have one Father and one zaydie and that share our dream. When we finally realize that the book of redemption will then begin.
Have a blessed Shabbos Chazak
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
" Ver shemt zich fun zeineh mishpocheh, oif dem iz kain brocheh."- Whoever is ashamed of his family will have no blessings.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
14. In Jewish tradition, a day of fasting commemorating the breach of the walls of Jerusalem
is the fast of -------------
What are the sages of the Mishna called?
A. Amoraim
B. Tannaim
C. Savoraim
D. Geonim
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/yesimcha – In honor of my grandsons' Bris here's my beautiful composition (some say it's my nicest) Yesimcha, the bracha we give our children each Friday night from this week's parsha.
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vzakeynu-lirot-banim – Once you're at it already, enjoy the song I composed for my first grandson's bris as well. V'zakeinu Liros banim U'vney banim
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFXoU_9Fm4Q&list=OLAK5uy_lbMJq2Y6WN2yvx_bkEvXNhHd3lejVQBNs&index=2 – I just love these weekly Shwekey drops. You heard the first three last week (if you didn't go back and find them…) This week it's Oneg Shabbos with Yaakov!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6C-IQF5RBs&list=RDz6C-IQF5RBs&start_radio=1 – Yaakov gathers his sons together and recites Shema. This beautiful song and video are just magnificent and can't stop watching it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37COPRg5ui4&list=RD37COPRg5ui4&start_radio=1 - To be honest I don't really get this new Joey and Ohad song Yevamos song… but hey, I'm learning Yevamos with Oraysa now so I figure why not…
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
(Little break in chronology for the fast this week..)
Darius the Mede- Daryavush I - 370 BC- You've heard about people having identity crises, well when it comes to the King of Media- which is kind of appropriate since we know today that all "media" is fake… See the problem is that in secular historians they don't really have much for this reign of Media which is like Northern Iran Kurdistan area at the time of the fall of Bavel. Cyrus/ Koresh was already ruling by then. So the question is who is this dude Daryavush and the question then follows as to who really cares?
Fascinatingly enough although to me and you it's not much of an issue. This really was a major controversial point about 60- 70 years ago for the Bible critics. They used the fact that there was no record of this king and this empire as being a sign that the navi Daniel wasn't written by him but rather by an uneducated person much later. The problem though with that was they said the same thing about the fact that Belshatzar wasn't a king until they discovered evidence to support the Daniel account. Oops… As well Sefer Daniel is so so specific about so many details and names and the entire ruling and innovations of the monarchy only someone knowledgeable could've written it. One of the most important innovations was that he broke up the empire into 120 nations all led by achasdarpanim- you know that funny word in the megilla, which is translated as sartaps or something which is kind of like governors or regents. They would report to the top three of which Daniel was the number one adviser.
So who was he really? It would seem that there was a general called Ugbaru that conquered Bavel and killed Belshatzar with Cyrus. They made an agreement between the two kingdoms that he would rule first and Cyrus second. Meantime the regents would be from the other kingdom's team. It was a check and balance system and a government that would switch like we have here in Israel. The problem was that Darius it seems died after a year and that was the end of their reign and empire and then Persia takes the front seat pretty much until we return to Israel.
Last little piece of fun facts. It seems according to Chazal that this Darius was born the same day Nevuchadnezzar entered and desecrated the Temple and began the exile of Yehoyachin, known as the Choresh and Masger when all the scholars and prophets left Jerusalem before the destruction took place. That's when Mordechai and Daniel first came down to Bavel. Mordechai moved to Persia and we'll pick up with him soon. Daniel however stays there with Darius which as we will see next week doesn't bode well for him. Roar…
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE MAFIA GODFATHER JOKES OF THE WEEK
Leo, the Mafia Godfather, is Robbed by his Arab chauffer and driver while he is vacationing in Dubai. Once he figures out who stole the money he needs to hire a translator in order to properly communicate and find out where he hid the money. He finds an Israeli former Mossad agent, Ami, staying there in the hotel and invites him in to translate and get the truth out of this guy.
Leo: So you're the one who had the guts to steal my money?
Ami: He said he didn't do it.
Leo: Tell him to stop lying and tell me how much he stole.
Ami: He says it was around $250,000.
Leo: Lies. Way more.
Ami: Okay he now claims it was $2.5m but he buried them in a place you'll never find.
Leo: I've had about enough! Where is my money!
(Silence)
Leo: Very well then. Tell him that if he doesn't tell me the exact location I will put a bullet in his head and go after his entire family.
Ami delivers the message. Achmed the chauffer is now scared and decides it is best he tells him where the money is; so he does.
Leo: So what did he say?
Ami: He says that you're a gutless pig.
An Israeli man is kidnapped by the mafia who want him to tell them where his company’s money is hidden. They put him in a chair at gunpoint and demand the location, but he won’t tell them a single word. After a while, the mafia members decide that he isn’t going to be of any use to them, so they kill him. At the gates of heaven, god asks him why he didn’t just give them the information they needed, and that he probably would still be alive if he had.
Dudu responds, “How could I? Those rascals had tied up my hands!”
What kind of coffee does The Godfather drink in the morning? An alpuccino
Little Guido come to visit his godfather at the end of school year with his report card and shows it to him proudly with his parents.
The report card states that he got a
History A
Math A+
Science A+
Literature A
Geography B+
The godfather pinches his cheek gently and caresses his face and the grabs a gun and shots him in the head. The mother shocked and in tears asks: "why did you shoot him?!"
The Godfather answers: "he knew too much"
Where does the Italian mafia live? In the spaghetto
Yankel joins the mob and becomes the personal assistant to the Godfather. One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."
The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.
But a short while later, he receives another message. "Stupid autocorrect. I meant wifi."
Mafia Boss: I want the brake lines of this guy’s car to be rusting.
Chemist: I’m listening.
Mafia Boss: But make sure..it looks like an oxidant.
My best friend Jay had twin girls. But unfortunately he died on the way to the hospital and his wife died during labor. I was asked to be their godfather and I wanted to honor him so I named the girls after him. Kay and Elle.
They say that mafia members are nasty people, but but while growing up, I lived next door to one and he was actually a nice guy. In fact, every morning, he paid me $20 just to start his car.
The Feds have just raided a tennis club used as a front for a large Mafia organisation. No doubt they'll be charged with racquet-eering.
I used to sell office supplies to the mafia, file cabinets and label makers and such. I was involved in very organized crime
What is the difference between the IRS and the Mafia? The Mafia at least gives you protection when you pay.
The Mafia boiled a man to death in a industrial pasta cooker. Police are still trying to al dentefy the victim.
I had a meet with the Godfather of the Chinese mafia earlier...He made me an offer I couldn’t understand.
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The answer to this week's question is B– Every exam always has at least one and sometimes two of these easy throw-away questions for the frum guide. This one all of you should know. 17th of Tamuz as we fast on that day and the three weeks of mourning start. And of course the Tanaaim is the Mishna rabbis of course from the 1st- 3rd century. The question is do you do you know who the Savrarim are though? So I got that one right and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having a 10.5 point and the MOT having 3.5 point on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.
