from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
July 6th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 37 30th of Sivan 5784
Parshat Korach
A Scent-imental God
They were just those little kids play cards strewn on the floor amongst the rubble, broken glass, and burnt walls of what one could see was a beautiful home in Be’eri. They were word cards with picture on them. Perhaps from some Israeli picture word game to teach kids how to read. Right next to it was a broken train set, some dolls with burnt hair and smashed by some fallen bricks and shrapnel. My eyes welled up. Tears started flowing. I looked at the pictures on the wall of the family that once lived here, that were butchered, at the love and the smiles and the life that they permeated and I looked at those cards once again and I picked it up and kissed it and put it in my backpack to put into shaimos. Until October 7th it may have been just a card game. Today, I felt, this little picture with a choo choo train on it that said rakevet, was like a torn burnt piece of a sefer torah that I needed to bury. That was too holy to leave there in the rubble.
I’m a sentimental person, I admit. I keep a lot of chazerai, that my wife would like to throw out. I think most of us are. We attribute feelings and emotions and memories with items from our past. With little souvenirs and chatchkes we’ve picked up from the various places we’ve visited and wandered. There’s a whole industry built on the concept. I’ve got a closet full of shot glasses from every place we’ve visited. Yet there are those that are not so sentimental. They call this stuff garbage and clutter that build up. Who needs chatchkies? We have memories, we have pictures, we’ve had fun. Why hang on to this old stuff? Why would do you treat it with such sanctity? What is it about this item that when you stroke it or fondly take it out, tears and memories well up? Is my wife right? Should I just get rid of it all?
Now the truth is there is no right or wrong necessarily to this seemingly ridiculous question. One man’s junk is another man’s treasure. And it if it makes me feel good then who cares? The question only has significance when I try to look at it from a Torah perspective. What’s Hashem’s viewpoint about hanging on to seemingly mundane stuff. Does Hashem like chatchkies? Shot glasses? Those little glass snow globes? Or is it all shtusim-silliness; a waste of money and time?
Now Yeshivishe people are generally not sentimental. We’re trained pretty much from a young age that it’s all about Torah, Torah and Torah. Chasidim on the other hand are very sentimental. From a very young age they’re trained to fight over some chickpeas from the Rebbe or fruits from his Friday nigh tish. When it comes to memorabilia it’s even more apparent the significance they attribute to simple items. This is the chair that this Rebbe sat in. This is the Tehillim he used. The towel he wiped himself off with when he came out of the Mikva. There’s a whole industry that auctions off all these important holy items to rich chasidim and guys that made money really quick in Lakewood and don’t have anything else to do with it. But stam chatchkies- that haven’t been “rebbe-handled” of our own personal lives and memorabilia from our own past, I don’t even think Chasidim are into. What about Hashem? Is He Chasidish? Litvish? Or sentimental at all?
Now of course anytime we try to place human emotions on Hashem, its pretty dumb. Hashem is above all human emotions. He doesn’t have hands, feet. He doesn’t get angry or sad. He’s not even a He or She or gender neutral. He doesn’t have set pronouns. He’s fluid. He’s infinite. He’s God. It’s one of the benefits of being above time, place and this world and all it’s frailties. It’s one of the perks of being the Creator of all of this. Yet, the Torah repeatedly utilizes all of the above emotions and human features in order that we can relate to Hashem. So that we can understand what He wants from us. So that we can experience the goodness He desires and created us to realize. We can’t do that if He’s beyond us. Thus we are meant to understand His ways with the souls and emotions He programmed us and with and utilizing the Torah’s words and teachings to navigate the confusion and mixed emotions and desires we have.
So let’s take a look at our parsha, and perhaps a few others while we’re at it. It’s a long Shabbos right? Plenty of time. Well, this week we have the parsha of Korach where we learn about the rebellion of Korach and 250 of the greatest leaders of the nation including according to the Talmud all the princes of each tribe, against Moshe. These great men team up with the two most notorious troublemakers who have been with us since Egypt, Dasan and Aviram, forming a coalition that is only worthy and possible in the Israeli Knesset. They claim that Moshe is guilty of nepotism giving the best jobs to his family members. They claim that the whole nation in holy and don’t need leadership or anything or anyone to connect them to Hashem. They don’t like the fact that he didn’t bring them to Israel and they’re dying here in the wilderness. They’re Jews. They don’t necessarily agree about what they don’t agree about, but one thing is certain. Ata Ha’Rosh Ata Asheim- You’re the head and it’s your fault.
Moshe and Aharon fall on their faces. They beg them to relent. They try to show them how misguided they are. How they can’t all gain from this. How they’re threatening everything. But they didn’t want to hear anything. We generally don’t. So Moshe decides to make a test. He could’ve done a lot of things, but fascinatingly enough he decides to utilize a ketores-incense cookoff or smoke-off to be more precise. Everyone brings a pan of ketores, and whoever Hashem doesn’t like He’ll swallow em up in the ground. It’s a strange story, because to be honest, why does he need the ketores at all for this? This is not like Eliyahu and the prophets of the Baal where Hashem sends down a fire and accepts one offering and not the other. Moshe could’ve just as easily left the ketores at home and just asked Hashem to kill whoever He doesn’t want. The point thus must have been to scare them off a bit. To give them pause. To let them back out before it was too late. The best way to do that was with this ketores. For it should’ve awakened memories of the last guys that messed around with it; Nadav and Avihu.
It was only 38 years before, according to the Ramban’s chronology of when this story took place, on the day the Mishkan was inaugurated that Nadav and Avihu the sons of Aharon brought a foreign fire with their pans into the Holy and a fire came out and burnt them up. The similarities between the two texts are all over the place. In both stories they bring a “fire before Hashem”. In both stories Moshe and Aharon “fall on their faces”. In both stories “a fire comes out from Hashem and eats them”. They both are trying to be “makriv – come close before Hashem”. Over here Moshe prays to Hashem that he shouldn’t have wrath-‘yiktzof’ on the whole eida- congregation” and the aftermath there is that Aharon is commanded not to mourn during the service lest “al kol ha’eida yiktzof- Hashem has wrath against the entire congregation”.
Yet perhaps the most remarkable connection between the two is, fantastically and perplexedly, Nadav and Avihu are called martyrs. They are kedoshim-holy, despite having been killed for sinning, and they are treated as such by being removed respectfully to be buried. As well here the incense pans are considered not just holy, but they are meant to be used as the covering plates of the altar itself. {The Meshech Chochma even notes that this is in fact the source where we learn the entire law of ma’alin ba’kodesh from- that sanctified items can only be elevated to a higher from of sanctity} Talk about sentimental… Don’t just throw them out or bury them somewhere, despite the fact that seemingly they were utilized as vessels of sin in one of the worst incidents of rebellion. Hashem wants them there on his altar to remind us of this story.To remind us that we shouldn’t be like Korach and his congregation that forgot the message of the incense. They were inscence-itive. If we want to fix this problem, then guess what? We need to get a bit scent-imental.
The Sefer Nifla’os Mi’Torasecha, by Rav Mordechai Aran, opened up a whole new world for me in an incredible discovery that he made. He notes that there are two places in Tanach where the letters of the name A’ma’le’k in the Torah appear as acronyms of sentences. The first is here in our parsha when Moshe tells the congregation of Korach to take those pans.
zos Asu Kach Lachem Machtos- this is what you should do take for yourselves pans.
The second place is in the book of Shmuel fascinatingly enough (and I’ll explain why soon- this is getting really cool). It’s right in the beginning when Hashem sends Shmuel to tell Eli the Kohen that basically he’s going to lose the Kohen priesthood because of his children’s bad behavior and abuse of the kehuna for personal gain. He tells them that the priesthood was a special service to be treasured because they were chosen for the special job to do the service of
al mizbichi l’haktir ketores- from upon my altar to take the ketores.
Why is this so cool? Well first of all, our sages tell us, Shmuel is a descendant of Korach. In fact, that’s one of the reasons why Korach was so determined to fight against Moshe. He saw that his descendant would be Shmuel, who is equal to Moshe and Aharon- as we say every Friday night in Kabalat Shabbos. But perhaps even deeper, we see that Shmuel’s first prophecy was really to tell Eli that he was going to lose the kehuna, because of the corruption of his children. They’re not worthy of the ketores. They forgot, it seems. Perhaps Korach saw in his genes that this was what his family’s mission was supposed to do. To take the kehuna and the ketores, away from the descendants of Aharon who will one day be corrupted.
But even more cool, is that Shmuel himself is the one that wipes out Amalek, when Shaul fails to kill the King Agag, the progenitor of Haman, Shmuel steps in and slices and dices him in half. It’s what we’re supposed to do to Amalekites by the way… Interestingly enough right before becoming an Israeli salad Agag calls Shmuel the Angel of death. Isn’t it amazing that the power of the ketores, our sages tell us is the secret how to ward off the Angel of Death? In fact the Midrash tells us that when Moshe received the Torah, each angel gave him a gift and the Angel of Death-which our sages tell us is the same as the angel of Amalek, tells Moshe this secret that ketores is the counter force to him. It’s his Kryptonite. It’s with this knowledge that Aharon in this week’s parsha in the aftermath of the Korach debacle wards off the plague that strikes the nation. Aharon, the Kohen and the power of the ketores are the secret to how we can win Amalek. When Aharon dies, non-coincidentally, the Torah tells us Amalek immediately comes to attack us. They know we lost our secret weapon. As well the name Mordechai who battles Haman and Amalek, the Talmud tells us has a hint to in the Torah from none other of a place then the ketores- mor dror, the spices of the incense.
And of course, to put all of the pieces together in one big aromatic pan, our obligation to destroy Amalek is to destroy their memory. It’s not enough to just destroy them, it’s their memory. It’s to forget them. The purpose of Ketores is thus exactly the opposite. It’s to remember us before Hashem. We take those pans and we get scent-imental about them and put them to be the cover on the altar of Hashem. Hashem smells the ketores and He remembers us. Plagues happen, death happens, fires burn people alive, October 7th and Beeri all happen when Amalek is still around. When the ketores which is supposed to be “ketores rokach- ma’asei roke’ach- blended incense- the work of a master blender, is brought improperly. The word rokach and roke’ach- in case you were wondering… are the same letters of our good friend Korach.
What is the ketores? What is it’s secret? Rav Kook notes, as do many others, that the ketores is not just the combination of all the spices and flavors. It’s that precise blend that takes even the foul smelling spices and not only blends it together into the most pleasant aroma by overpowering its bad smell, but it transforms the foulness and makes it smell good. Even more precisely, in his words, the power of the ketores reveals that even the things that may look or smell bad only appear that way to us because of their external hiddenness of the Hashem’s light and holiness. Joined together properly, though, even the most foul smelling chelbana spice precisely united with all of the other spices, become one sweet smelling fragrance before Hashem.
The key though is that they need to be joined together in the perfect exact measure. The law of the ketores is that if even one of the spices or measurements is off then you are chayav misa- it brings death. The symbolism and idea being that in order for the true presence and light of Hashem to shine, one has to see everything as having that light and coming from Hashem. The 11 spices correspond to the 10 statements with which Hashem created the world with the 11th Hashem above them all. The only one that could do that job is the Kohen that doesn’t have any self-interest. The children of Aharon that are filled with divine love for every Jew and see their service and full-time job as elevating the universe and all its aspects, by bringing sacrifices that come from all of the different elements and forms of life and elevating them to Hashem.
Nadav and Avihu had this holy desire. It was the day that Hashem’s presence was going to finally rest in this world. Yet, they overstepped Moshe and Aharon. Their fire was foreign. The drive was holy, their act even was holy, yet for the ketores to work, to come out of this experience alive, it needs to be through the power of the love and humility of Moshe and Aharon. Through that selfless dedication and precise command that those master blenders possessed. Korach and the 250 leaders as well, made the same mistake. They claimed to see all of creation as holy. They felt that perhaps they could even uplift Dasan and Aviram. Perhaps, one can even suggest, that they felt that joining together with those two they were uniting the nation and revealing Hashem and blending the aromatic ketores together with “spicy” guys that only were wicked only on the outside. And maybe, Rav Tzadok HaKohein suggests they were even correct in that assumption. It’s why their pans were considered holy, just as Nadav and Avihu are considered holy. Yet, they over skipped Moshe and Aharon. They were missing the most essential ingredient. Their religious zeal for unity that comes from a true desire to reveal Hashem, left out the “chareidim”. And thus it wasn’t complete.
There were 250 pans that were brought and not one. Not the One, that will reveal Hashem. As Rashi tells us in the beginning of this saga.
Among the nations, there are many forms of worship and many priests, and they do not all gather in one temple. We, however, have only one God, one ark, one Torah, one altar, and one kohen gadol, but you two hundred and fifty men are all seeking the kehunah gedolah! I too would prefer that. Here, take for yourselves the service most dear-it is the incense, more cherished than any other sacrifice, but it contains deadly poison, by which Nadav and Avihu were burnt. Therefore, he warned them, “and it will be the one whom the Lord chooses-he is the holy one“ [meaning,] that he is already in his [state of] holiness. Is it not obvious that [the one] who is chosen is the holy one? Rather, Moses told them, “I am telling you this so that you should not be found guilty. For the one He chooses will survive, and the rest of you will perish.
We’re not like the goyim. Judaism isn’t a melting pot of all types and religions. It’s a revelation of the oneness that is in all of us. That can only come through one person, not 250. Only through “the one chosen by the One”.
They forgot this and thus Hashem was not complete. His throne is not complete. And that is when Amalek, which is the power to remove that unity from being revealed, attacks, brings plague and brings death and fire. They hit the weak. They hit the ones behind. They hit fake unity that is missing the some of the spices. Unity that bashes Moshe and Aharon, that is only there to usurp and not to reveal. They thrive and are like flies to the rot of that flesh. The Baal Haturim even notes that the words to remember Amalek in the Torah
“zikaron va’sefer ve’sim ba’aznei- a remembrance in the book and place in their ears”
is an acronym for zevuv- a fly. Flies are drawn to flesh without life. To corpses. To death. Amalek is the Angel of Death and is this antithesis to the ketores, because it hovers around and says that there is no life in this one. There is no spark of Hashem in them. There’s nothing to be revealed. And thus the ketores can’t be complete. It’s missing and holy fire wreaks havoc and comes out from the holy to destroy and forge us all together. To give us something to remember and could never forget.
Amalek and our enemies try to make us forget the miracles Hashem preformed from us. To cool us off. To remove the fire from those pans that want to forge and unite us into one. To make us un-scent-sitive. Incense-less. And so Hashem tells us to take those pans of incense and remember them. Remember that we need to unite. Remember that “uniting” means all of us, through Moshe and Aharon and through the Torah. Through finding and seeing the light in each of us and understanding that without even one spice the ketores is death. That for the redemption and for Hashem to be revealed we need to get scentimental. We need to see the holy spark in everything in Creation. In the burnt pans, the burnt cars, the burnt little choo choo train cards that are attached to the altars where Hashem took his sacrifices from us on the day that Amalek came to destroy our nation from Gaza.
We enter the month of Tamuz this Shabbos. Until this year this was a month that always brought in the fast day of the 17th of Tamuz. Yet the prophet tells us that in the Messianic era that fast day that mourns the siege of Jerusalem and the beginning of the destruction will become a holiday that celebrates our redemption. May this year be that year that was prophesized and that we have waited for so long. We’ve been sieged too long. We’re all mourning and longing. We’re together. Our Mizbayachs are covered in ketores pans of the so many kedoshim that we have lost. Its time for the Angel of Death to finally be destroyed and slaughtered and for Hashem’s throne to finally rest and be complete.
Have an aromatic Shabbos and Chodesh Tamuz tov,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
" Fun shikker and fun shenker shtinkt mil bronfen..”.- The drunkard and the bartender both smell of whisky.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
12.The wave of immigration (Aliyah) to the Land of Israel, that began following
the rise of the Nazis to power, is called
What is the estimated number of Jews and Arabs, who lived in the Land of
Israel, when the War of Independence began?
A. Around 600,000 Jews and 200,000 Arabs.
B. Around 400,000 Jews and one million Arabs.
C. Around 600,000 Jews and 1.3 million Arabs.
D. Around 400,000 Jews and 400,000 Arabs.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW_sZXoABqI – Rak B’Yachad- an amazing song by the one and only Shai Graucher’s chesed/chizuk organization sung by Ari Hill and the orphans of this war. Uniting us all together.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLIitRRHt0w - Avraham Fried’s great Hebrew hits with Dadya, Daskal and Benny Friedman!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tA0wh9pj9Y – Really amazing video of Chabad and Chevron with Avraham Fried
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBh8QgzMGI0 - What a special meaningful and heartwrenching song by Aharon Razel in memory of his friend Tzvika Lavi a special holy soldier that was killed in Gaza- Kazeh Ha’yitah
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK
Impossible Prayers- There are things that it almost seems impossible to daven for. It’s easy to daven for parnassa, for health, for redemption, for wisdom and for teshuva. All of the basic things that we daven for each day in our Shemona Esrei. It’s one of the most essential aspects of being Jewish and observant is that we begin and end our day and even pause in the middle to recognize that everything comes from Hashem and we need to ask Him for His help. Yet there are some things that seem almost impossible to ask Hashem for. Things that seem to be miraculous. For example, I meet with many of the families of the hostages, and although many of them seem to think its unlikely that they may see their child again, that even if they do get them returned that they can be in one piece both mentally and physically, yet they still daven for that. But it’s a hard prayer. They know they are asking Hashem for a miracle. And miracles don’t seem to be easy to ask for.
As well there are others as well that are in that position, people with severe medical conditions that doctors determined are terminal and statistically unlikely that a recovery will take place. Others that perhaps have been diagnosed that they will never be able to have children, some that feel that it is unlikely that they can find happiness, can get married that can win in court. The cards are against you in the natural statistical world. Yet, Torah Jews believe that prayer always has the power to change things. In this week’s Torah portion we find this in two different places, both in the unlikely negative, which of course teaches us the positive.
The first is that we find that Moshe Rabbeinu turns to Hashem and asks Him not to turn to the prayer and incense of Korach and his clan. Moshe seems to be very concerned that this is a very real possibility bizzarely enough. He tells Hashem that he never sinned, that he never took anything from the people, that he’s only acting for Hashem’s honor. You only play all of those cards when you’re nervous that there’s a real threat that Korach’s prayer would win. Why would he be scared of this? After-all isn’t it obvious that he’s correct and that Korach is truly an evil corrupt person that is challenging the foundations of all of Judaism and the Torah being passed down correctly through Moshe?
The second place where we find this idea is in Moshe’s prayer to Hashem that He create something new that has never been before created. That Hashem have the ground open it’s mouth up and swallow them alive. That seems pretty bold. Moshe could’ve just easily had asked that Hashem kill them or prove them wrong. Yet, here Moshe pushes the limits. He asks for the impossible. He asks for a miracle to happen that is above nature. How and why could and would he do that?
Rebe Simcha Bunim of Peshisch learns an important lesson from here. He suggests that it is precisely from Moshe that Eliyahu Ha’Navi learns that he has the power through prayer to bring the revival of the dead child of the tzorfati woman, whom he resurrects. For if Moshe Rabbeinu can ask Hashem for an extraordinary death and to change the ways of nature and the world, then we have a rule that the mida tova is meruba mi’mida perunos- that Hashem always behaves in a far greater way with his good attributes than those of retribution. If Hashem could kill extraordinarily and listens to prayers and changes nature to take away life, then He certainly will answer prayers to restore and resurrect life.
It is for that reason as well, why Moshe is so concerned with Hashem accepting Korach’s prayers. For even though Korach is a hundred percent wrong, and even though if Hashem listens to his prayers it might even destroy the entire foundation of Judaism, cause a tremendous chilul Hashem and upset the entire balance of the universe. Yet, a heartfelt prayer by Korach could accomplish that. Hashem can’t say no. He may listen and answer those prayers, despite the severe consequences and fall out. Moshe understood how powerful prayer is and thus he was concerned. He therefore went the other way and asked for an extraordinary end to Korach so that we will know and understand how powerful tefilla is. Nothing is impossible before Hashem. There’s nothing that tefilla can’t accomplish. We should never give hope. We need to just up our ante and offer the tefillos that pierce the heavens and IYH all of our tefillos will be answered.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
701 BC-The Miraculous Night– 185,000 soldiers stood outside of the gates of Yerushalayim that Seder Night. The army of Sancherev had destroyed and exiled the ten tribes and most of Israel. We were a divided nation. Shevna even led a group to capitulate and offer “peace at any price”. Yet the prophet Yeshaya had promised Chizkiya that there would be a miracle. There’s a fascinating Midrash that tells us that four kings asked for Hashem to help them and were answered. Dovid told Hashem that he has no strength to fight the enemies and Hashem Helped him win. Asa said he didn’t even have strength to fight he could merely pursue them and Hashem should kill them and he was answered as well. Yehoshafat told Hashem that he couldn’t even pursue them. All he could do was sing praises for Hashem if he wins. And sure enough Hashem Wiped out Amon Moav and Edom on his behalf. Chizkiya though said that he doesn’t even have strength to sing. All he could do was go to sleep. And sure enough that’s exactly what happened.
In fact it wasn’t only Chizkiyah it was all of Jerusalem that night. They went to their seder they sang Vehi She’amda- that Hashem stood up against our enemies of all generations should Stand up again for us. They opened the door for Eliyahu Ha’Navi. They drank four cups, they ate matza, they remembered the miracles and then they went to sleep. The next morning it was all over. An angel came and smote them all. According to some Midrash, they were burnt up and souls left them while their bodies remained complete. Others say that they heard the angels singing that night in heaven and their souls left their bodies. Others say that the plagues of Egypt were all rained down upon them. It wasn’t only the devastating loss, but just like in Egypt the Jews got to keep all of the booty left behind. Sancherev fled with his head hanging low and ran back to his palace in Ninveh. There he was scorned by everyone and was ultimately killed by his own two sons, who he had thought about offering to his idolatry (according to one Midrash a plank from the ark of Noach) as a sacrifice.
This was a miracle that we recall by our Seder each year in the piyyut of Vayehi Bachatzi Halayla. Our sages tell us that the miracle and redemption was so great that Chizkiya could’ve even been Mashiach. It could’ve all been over. Yet, they sinned and didn’t merit because they didn’t sing Shira. They didn’t sing songs of praise to Hashem. They saw it as a great victory, a great miracle even perhaps, but they didn’t realize that it was history changing. That the victory had the potential to bring in and herald in a New world era. And thus we lost the moment.
To a large degree it reminds me of the 6-Day-War. We were so close. Har Ha’Bayis was in our hands. And we lost it. We’re almost at that point again. We certainly are like Chizkiya who can’t even fight, cant chase or puruse and perhaps we can’t even sing or even sleep in our beds. We need the redemption now. Hashem please. Help us sleep, help us sing, help us win. Bring that day.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S SMELL JOKES OF THE WEEK
A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"My Son, it's caused by loose living, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well, I'll be," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does".
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell. They come with an Elon Musk.
My wife said she could smell an Indian flatbread from a mile away. I said that was naan scents.
What tastes better than it smells? Your tongue.
4 million of these people enter our country every year. They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hardworking Americans and our government is doing nothing to stop them, not to mention they're dirty and they smell bad. THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!! Man, I hate babies.
What would happen if skunks lost their smell? They'd become ex-stinked.
My toenails turned green, shrank, and started smelling like mint. My doctor says I have a rare condition called Tic Tac Toes.
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something. I am so nervous.
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said...
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
So I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's chamber with Marijuana. He's a High priest now
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The answer to this week”s question is C– This is getting annoying already, this half right half wrong thing I’m in. This one I got the first one wrong when I went with the 3rd Aliyah, and I was off by two. The Nazi ascension aliya or the Yekki Aliyah was the 5th of Aliya. The third it seems was the Polish one after WW I but before the Nazis YM”Sh. At least I got the second part correct with the right answer being C the 600,000 Jews- the same number as when we left Mitzrayim and 1.3 million arabs we were outnumbered 2 to one in Israel besides the other arab armies from around that joined the fight to destroy us. Miracles of Miracles! May we see more of them. And so my score is now Rabbi Schwartz 7.5 and Ministry of Tourism 4.5 on this exam so far.
