Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
November 21st 2013 -Volume 4, Issue 8 -18th
of Kislev 5774
Parshat Vayeishev/Chanukah
Favorites
Do you have an
f-a-v-o-r-i-t-e child (I have to spell it out so the kids don't understand)? "I
love you all equally" is of course the politically and parentally
correct answer. But really? There's gotta be one that really grabs your heart? That
can get away with anything. That just gives you that look, that smile, that
reminds you of yourself when you were that age and that can absolutely do no
wrong in your eyes. That you can spend all night just watching them sleep-
actually as my mother used to say they're all good when they sleep J) Yes, you love all of your children and you
would do anything for any of them. You're proud of them, you thank Hashem for
each and every one of them and your world and family would never be same
without them. But then there's that favorite one. My kids all assume that it's
not them. Being the disciplinarian in the family (ironically enough), I'm mean
to all of them equally-according to them, and regularly will have contests to
see who will get to be my favorite child. They've all stopped trying to win a long
time ago …
Now everyone knows that Tully, the baby of the family is Mommy's favorite. But that's because my rebbetzin just loves babies-she always loved the newest addition the most. Me, though? They can't figure out. Shani, my oldest and first born of course has her special place and love as being loved the longest in our family. Yonah's our first born boy, the yeshivah bachur, named after my father OB"M. Rivkah is our princess, the studious, always helpful, organized, neat and goes to sleep on her own ( and takes after my wife the most) and Tully our youngest is our little Israeli kid that is of course the youngest in the family. And then there's Elka. My Elka. Maybe it's because she's six (as opposed to my wife my favorite age is 3-6, when I think that we should just freeze them at that age forever). Maybe it's because she looks the most like I did at her age (until I was three and got my first haircut everyone thought I was a pretty little girl). Could be because we are the only ones that share green eyes in the family or it could be because she is named after my Savta (who's yahrtzeit was this past week) that I loved and was closest with( I was her favorite JJ). But, that little devilish grin and twinkle in her eyes, those juicy cheeks and adorable hearty laugh and giggle and that affectionate hug and cuddle that she has in her own special way, gets me every time. Now don't get me wrong. It's not like I went out and bought her a special multi-colored coat and told her to go shepherding somewhere in Shechem. I'm a Rabbi and have read the Torah and learned you're not supposed to do that kind of stuff. Yet, having a favorite? It seems to be part and parcel of our ancient biblical tradition. The question is only what you do with it.
The tradition it seems
does not start with Avraham who clearly states that both Yitzchak and Yishmael
are equally loved by him. Although, interestingly enough he always seems to
stand up for Yishmael, not wanting to send him away, either time and even upon
hearing about the tiding that Yitzchak will be born seems to say it should be
enough Yishmael should live before You, Hashem. The first time where we see a
difference though is when Isaac and Rivkah each seem to have the child that
they love.
"And Yitzchak loved
Esau because he was a hunter with his mouth and Rivkah loved Yaakov."
Of course their love for their favorite did
not detract from their other child. The Torah goes out of its way to tell us
what we know is impossible not to be true, that Rivkah was the mother in the
fullest sense to both of her children and Yitzchak blesses Yaakov even after he
knows that he "stole" the blessings. Yet they each have their favorite,
which sometimes blinds them to the reality of their children's faults.
This week's Torah
portion shares with us the next story in the line. "These are the
generations of Yaakov, Yosef…and Yisrael loved Yosef from all his children for
he was the son of his old age". Once again the Torah, tells us that
Yaakov obviously loved all of his children, he just loved Yosef his favorite
more. Seemingly this personal love that Yaakov had for Yosef would not have
been much of a problem. It was when he made him the multi-colored coat and
treated him differently that the brothers hated him. But the question begs
itself, certainly for the parentally correct of us who have been raised on Dr.
Spock (not the "live long and prosper" Star Trek Vulcan one) what is
this favoritism thing doing in the greatest of families and by the greatest of
men?
The truth is, the Midrash notes, that when the Torah tells us that the generations of Yaakov was Yosef , although Yaakov had 12 children, it is alluding to something much deeper about the connection between the two.
"It is to teach us
that all that happened to this one happened to this one-
This one was born
circumcised and so was this one
This one's mother was
barren as was this one's,
This one's mother had
two children as did this one's
This one had the
birthright as did this one
This one's mother had
difficulty in birth as did this one
This one's brother hated
him as did this one's
This one's brother tried
to kill him as did this one's
This one was a shepherd
as was this one
This one was hated as
was this one
This one was blessed
with wealth as was this one
This one left Israel,
married a woman from outside Israel and had children there as did this one,
This one had angels
accompany him as did this one
This one became great
through dreams as did this one
They both went down to
Egypt, had famines, brought blessing, died and were embalmed in Egypt
Both of their bones were
carried with the Jewish people from Egypt to be buried in Israel.
(PS believe it or not I
actually left out a few for brevity…)
Wow! Talk about the
apple not falling far from the tree, or walking in your father's footsteps.
Does this mean that Elka is meant to go to Detroit, New York, Iowa, Virginia,
and Seattle? I believe what the Medrash and Torah are trying to share with us,
is the function and idea behind the favoritism of our forefathers. The word
love/ahava as we have mentioned many times comes from the root word Hav-
to give; a deep emotional and everlasting connection. Unlike the modern idea of
love which is about how much I feel about something and how it makes me
feel. The Torah reaches into a much deeper level, in which true love comes from
the act of altruistic giving and the connection that is engendered as a result of
those acts. It is why we can be commanded to love someone, to love Hashem. For
love is not just a baseless romantic, chemical or even emotional reaction, rather
it is the connection that is developed when giving selflessly to another. To a
large degree it is why we are told a parent will always love a child more than
the child loves the parent. For the parents love is selfless, we get nothing in
return and have no such expectations. Whereas the child's is a response to the
love received and in order to receive from their parents. It's interesting that
in general this will change when the parents are older and the child gives more
to the parents in caring for them selflessly than the parents have to give to
their child.
"You have chosen us
from all nations, You have loved us and exalted us and sanctified us with your
commandments." we say each holiday,
each Kiddush, each time we recite the Shema and express our love for our
Creator. It is not that Hashem does not love all mankind. They are all His
creation, His children. Yet it is in us, His favorite, which He has given and
invested so much more in. We are His light upon this world and it is through us
that His world will ultimately be lit. As we light our Chanukah candles this
week and recite our blessings, we remember the miracles Hashem has done for us,
his favorite children.
"Blessed are you
Hashem, our God the King of the universe that has sanctified us and commanded
us to light the candles of Chanukah…that has done miracles for our forefathers
in those days at this time… that has given us life and sustained us and brought
us to this day."
May the favorite children
finally succeed in achieving harmony with all of our brothers and bring that
special Divine light unto the world.
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR
GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
(answer below at end of Email)
The "language
war" began in :
a) Jerusalemb) Rishon LeTzion
c) Haifa
d) Petach Tikva
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FAVORITE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK
(Lipa… chanukah… it doesn't get better than a rockin chasid)
RABBI SCHWARTZ COOL
PLACES IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK-
Kesem HaGolan-Katzrin- Going to the Golan? This is a great place to truly appreciate and
get an overview of this beautiful region of our country. Located in the
convenient visitor center in the city of Katzrin with a fantastic array of
restaurants (mehadrin café café) the
IMAX film is a multimedia nature experience that will excite all your senses as
you feel the wind, water, and sounds and sights of the Golan. After which you
can go see an incredible topographical exact model of the Golan as you learn
about the ancient and modern history and wars that took place here. A trip to
this visitor center can include a visit to wineyr, brewery and olive oil
factory as well as a trip to the ancient Talmudic city of Katzrin.
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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S "PARENTING"
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
(Shaniiiii,
Yonaaaaaah, Rivkaaaah, Elkaaaaa Tullyyyyy-note Ephraimmmmm doesn't have a vowel
because there was never a need to shout… or they knew it wouldn't help…Sooooo …they
found alternate ways of getting my attention Ouch! L.
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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S JOKE/POEM OF THE WEEK IN HONOR OF THANKSGIV-UKAH
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of..... Bleak November;
"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three,"
When he told me of the horrors of..... Bleak November;
"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three,"
"And soon you'll be thick, where once you
were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;"
"And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;"
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;"
"And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;"
"Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so
you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;"
"And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
"She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat, And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;"
"And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
"She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
And sure enough when Bleak November rolled
around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap;
She held me today, while sewing and humming, I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap;
And smiled at me and said;
"Ess Ess little birdy, Chanuka is coming..."
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Answer is C: I got this one wrong too! I answered Jerusalem because
religious Jew that I am I remembered the great battles in Jerusalem with Ben
Yehudah over religious legitimacy of Hebrew (which until today still has many
of the old yishuv of Yerushalayim speaking Yiddish rather than Hebrew). The
correct answer though is Haifa and the battle was over the school which
eventually became the Technion, which was initially funded by the german
"Ezra" organization to train and create engineers, technical and professional
administrators. The germans felt that the school should be taught in German the
"educated" language of universities in the early 1900's. The early
Zionists which had already opened up many schools in Israel (starting in
Rishon-another trick answer) wanted it in the new "old" language of
Ivrit/Hebrew) after many years of fighting, firings, strikes and debates
eventually the Ezra organization closed down and the Zionist organizations took
over the educational systems in Israel.
