Off Color- Parshat Nitzavim Vayelech 2020 / 5780

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 11^th 2020 -Volume 10 Issue 46 22^nd Elul 5780

Parshat Nitzavim-VaYeilech

Off Color

Why is everything so black and white these days? Don't get me wrong as someone whose last name means black, I have no problem with Schvartz (as they call me here in Israel) Lives Matters Movements. I'll take all the support I can get- particularly this year. But really, why can't people that really do support the advancement of our African American brothers and sisters and the betterment of their lives, that realize that even in this 'advanced' 21^st century of ours there still remains racists, police abuse and yes an inordinate and undeserved amount of discrimination against them and that many of them lack the opportunity to pick themselves out of the ghettos that they live in. Why can't people that see that injustice and that want to help them, at the same time see the hatred, anti-semitism, anti-Israel and lawlessness and obvious politically driven agendas that the BLM movement has and be opposed to them as well? Why if I don't support BLM am I being called a racist?

 

Why is everything so red and blue these days. Why can't I believe that Donald Trump is a terrible role model, that he is an embarrassment to the seat of the Presidency, that he has a potty mouth, is a narcissist with an ego the size of my post corona belly and yet at the same time believe he is the best president Israel and that Orthodox Jews certainly have ever had in office since the founding of this country. Yet at the same time, I won't praise the man. I won't wear a stupid red hat. And yes, I wouldn't even invite him to speak in my shul. Well maybe if he sponsored Kiddush…I can even respect and appreciate why anyone living in the United States that is embarrassed to have him as their president would choose not to vote for him. I can understand why they are anti-Trumpers. I'm not red.

 

At the same time, I'm not blue. Just because you might vote for Biden doesn't mean that you have to be in love with the man. That you can't admit that the man is also obviously suffering some early signs of dementia. That he really is a pretty lousy candidate. That you pray every time he opens his mouth on TV that he doesn't embarrass you again… Hey I do that when Trump speaks. You can admit it. You don't have to be blue. And you can still vote for him. You don't have to have their political stuff on your lawns. Why does everyone have to pick a color?

 

It's not just in America. In Israel as well everyone wants you to be on a side. You hate Bibi and think he's a crook and a terrible person who's long overstayed his welcome and is just manipulating everything to stay out of jail. Or he's the greatest prime minister ever. We would be lost without him. He's the best thing since non-leaky pita bread (there is no such thing, but wouldn't it be great if there was).  He's just being hounded by fake news. Bibi Melech Yisrael Chai V'Kayam. And it's not just Bibi. It's all the political parties. Gimmel, Shas, Blue and White, Bayit Yehudi, I may have to vote for one or the other but why do I have to then believe that to vote for everyone else is a sin and will cause the destruction of the State of Israel.

 

Maskers and non-maskers is another thing. Believe in the pandemic as being as bad as the black plague or it's less than a simple flu that's been blown out of proportion. That wearing masks save lives or increases the disease, suicides and is just mere political manipulation. Why does one have to be all in.? Why do I have to think that the person who behaves and believes differently and that may act responsibly or irresponsibly in their own understanding of the situation is the Satan incarnate? Why can't we see that there are two sides to a debate and each one of them have flaws that are not as a dramatic perhaps as the media makes them out to be?  My brother is an optician so I know that 20/20 vision means perfect vision. It seems that the year 2020 everyone thinks that only they are seeing things clearly, when in fact, it seems most of us are missing the only thing that we should be seeing. And that is that we really do have to be "all in", but I'm not talking about the same "in" that everyone else is.

 

The last parsha that we read for this year and every year is Parshat Nitzavim (and this year is Vayelech as well). The parsha begins with Moshe's words to the Jewish people on the last day of his life.

 

 Atem Nitzavim hayom kulchem- You are standing here today…all of you. He then starts to specify who the "all of you" are".

 

 roshechem, shivteychem zikynechem vshotreyechem, -Your heads, your tribes, your elders and your officers.

kol ish Yisrael- all the men of Israel

 

your small children, your women, and your convert who is in the midst of your camp from the woodchopper to the water carrier…

 

This much more than polemics. Realize that in Hebrew the word 'you' written as "atem" already is a plural form and tells us he is speaking to all of us. But then again it says 'kulchem'-all of you. And then in case you didn't get it yet once again it specifies all the demographic groups and concludes again all the men of Israel, women, children etc…? OK. We got it your speaking to all of us. Why keep repeating it?

 

The great Slonimer Rebbi thus tells us that the "all of you" isn't a reference to the numbers and the types of people that are there. Rather kulchem-the all of you, that Moshe is referring to is the entirety of each and every one standing there individually. We each have to be "all in". These are not elections, there's no two sides, there's nothing we're holding back. We're not Jewish-Americans. We're not Rabbi-Doctors or Rabbi-Tour Guides, Jewish Republicans. We don't have any hyphens. We're ovdey Hashem- servants of Hashem. We're all His and all of us is His. We ain't holding nothing back…

 

This shouldn't be news to us. We say this every day in the first sentence of Shema. Vi'ahavta es Hashem Elokecha Bichol Livavcha Bichol nafshecha u'vchol meodecha- we should love Hashem with all of our hearts, our beings, our possessions. It's a zero sum game. Our heart, our eyes, our ears, our souls. It's 24/7. There's no room for any other allegiances, affiliations, or distractions. It's at home, it's at shul, it's at work, it's even when we just want to chill and zone out. It's all about being the best and most complete servant of Hashem. It's intense. And it's a life's work. But it's why we're here. It's why we were chosen. And boys and girls we're in the last few minutes of the game and our Captain is cheering for us from the sidelines to get that ball over the finish line.

 

The Nesivos Sholom tells us that it's like a Mikva. If any part of our body, even a single hair, isn't immersed in the Mikva, it doesn't work. I had a joke here a few weeks ago about the prospective convert who had a fear of water and wanted to know if he could just immerse his body and keep his head above the water. The Rabbi told him that it would be no problem, it would just mean that he would still have a "goyisheh kup". Hashem doesn't want goyisheh kups. He wants us a nation with heavenly and holy Jewish kups.

 

The Rebbi than takes it an even higher level. This Motzai Shabbos we begin reciting the selichos- at least those of us that don't eat kitniyos on Pesach and haven't started from rosh chodesh to atone for that J. The refrain that we will continue to say 100's of times through Yom Kippur are the 13 attributes of mercy that Hashem promises us when we invoke will bring mercy to us. Yet he notes that we introduce them with a short paragraph that tell us this

 

K'hodaata l'anav mi'kedmem- like you made known to the humble one in ancient times

Va'yeired Hashem b'anan- and Hashem came down in a cloud

Va'yityatzev imo sham- and stood there with him

Va'yikra b'shem Hashem- and He called out with the name Hashem

 

Why is Moshe referred to here as the humble one? Why not just call him Moshe? The Rebbi answers that Moshe received this revelation after beseeching Hashem for 40 days and nights on behalf of the Jewish people that we should not only be forgiven for the Golden calf, but that Hashem should return to reside amongst His nation and we should receive the 2^nd tablets which he brought down on Yom Kippur. He did it. It worked! If this was anyone else in the world, now would be the time to take a big bow. Maybe run a victory lap. As Israeli's say raise your hand in the air and scream "Yeish!! I did it", make the 'V' signal. At least feel good about yourself and your accomplishment. But not Moshe…Not the humble one.

 

See, a victory lap is an appropriate expression for someone that feels that 'I' accomplished something. It's good for your ego.  For Moshe this was never about him. There was no 'I'. It was always about Hashem. His entire life existed only to serve Hashem. It's what gave him the guts to argue on behalf of our sinful nation who had just sung and danced around a golden calf just a few weeks after witnessing the revelation at Sinai. Hashem was rightfully ready to just wipe us out and start all over again. Hashem's done that before, by the flood. Pressed control-alt-delete and end the program. It would be pretty chutzpadik for anyone to argue with Hashem about this, certainly for 40 days straight. If someone was there for themselves, they would've backed off long before. But Moshe who was "all in" for Hashem, reminded Hashem that He as well was "all in" for us. When we recall those 13 attributes we remember they were revealed to the humble one. The one who didn't have any part of himself that needed to be stroked. He had it all because he was connected to the infinite. The 13 attributes of mercy work when we can invoke that same single-minded dedication that Moshe had.

 

This past year there has been an infection in the air. Its symptoms are that is has polarized our societies. The world is seeking, one movement, one truth, one King, one reality that brings everything all together. They're looking in all the wrong places. The pasuk tells us that all of us standing here today. The Zohar tells us that today is the great day of Rosh Hashana. It's when we stand together, when all of each of us are before Hashem our God. When we say we have one King and we are all in. It's time to take off the red hats, the blue hats, the lawn signs, the smelly masks and proclaim that we have no other affiliations. Reb Moshe Shapiro writes that the shofar blast that we have been blowing all month long is the only sound of truth. There are no words. There are no ulterior agendas or ego in that sound-unlike everything else that comes out of our mouths. That is the sound that will herald in Mashiach. We conclude a year in which we witnessed our prayers of v'sein pachdcha al kol ma'asecha- v'aymascha al kol ma she'barasa- that Hashem has placed his fear and awe upon the entire world. May this year see the fulfillment of the next paragraphs of v'sein kavod l'amecha- there should be honor for His nation, simcha l'artzecha- happiness in our land and the ner, the candle of ben Yishai His anointed Mashiach, b'meheira b'yameinu.

Have a healthy blessed and unifying Shabbos and last week of the year,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

************************************************************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 " Der tayvl iz nit azoy shvarts vi men molt im."- The devil is not as black as we paint him

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 44) Eid al-Adha (Feast of the Sacrifice) is celebrated in:

A.  Summer

B.  Winter

C.  Spring

D.  Not in a fixed season

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 https://youtu.be/BS6A63alvcw  - What a beautiful new song from Baruch Levine- Shetichadesh

 https://youtu.be/5WsWouCsbaQ – Macabeats latest- A good old Israeli classic Ba'Shana Ha'bah

 https://youtu.be/AjaQNDLBjd0 – Shlomo Carlebach a Rosh Hashana Elul story

 https://youtu.be/SkVmzDHnFJs  –Eli Beer Carlebach meditative High Holiday. Close your eyes and listen…

 https://youtu.be/Sr0dmjuwpnY -Shlomo Katz new song Uman

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 Parshat Nitzavim/Vayelech – Writing a Sefer Torah- According to most of the "money ha'mitzvos" those that enumerate the 613 commandments this the last mitzva in the Torah. One would think then it would be one that we were all running to fulfill. Yet, it's not as popular as most Rabbis of shul like mine would like. I'm sure the $35,000-70K price tag has a lot to do with it.

But if we can't afford to buy one than let's at least explore and learn about the mitzva. Who knows maybe in that merit Hashem may privilege us with being able to fulfil this mitzva.

 Moshe commands the Jewish people at the conclusion of this week's double parsha

 V'kisvu es hashira hazot- And now, write for yourselves this song, and teach it to the Children of Israel. Place it into their mouths, in order that this song will be for Me as a witness for the children of Israel.

 The song according to the Rambam's understanding is in next week's parsha of Haazinu. However since we don't write parshiyos of the Torah by themselves so the mitzva is to write an entire Torah scroll. Now if you're a doctor or just have Doctor-like penmanship, like me don't worry one can fulfill the mitzva by having a scribe do the writing for you, although if you can do it just as well yourself according to most authorities it's best to do it yourself; and why wouldn't you?

 Now when the Torah tells us a mitzva it's not just a nice good deed to do. The Torah tells us to sanctify Shabbos and thus Kiddush is a biblical obligation (although making it on wine may be rabbinic). After we eat we are commanded to bentch. It's not an option. It's a commandment. Sit in a Sukkah, tie teffilin, make a tri-annual pilgrimage to the beis Hamikdash etc etc.. These are commandments, so why would writing a Torah be any different. Hashem told Moshe to command this to the Jewish people? So there are a few approaches.

 The first is the opinion of the Rosh who has revolutionary opinion which is that the Torah tells us that the purpose of this mitzva is l'lamdo livnei Yisrael- to teach it to the Jewish people. We need Torah scrolls to learn and study from and pass on our teachings. Thus it was only mitzva for the original generations where there were no synagogues with Arks and Torah scrolls; each person would then need their own individual one. But since that institution we can and should the fulfill the mitzva by "writing" Chumashim, the Mishna, Talmud and other works that promulgate Torah study. The Rosh wrote this in the 13^th century before the advent of the printing press. Today one can fulfill the mitzva by publishing a sefer, or perhaps a weekly E-Mail? There are those that disagree with the Rosh and believe that it is still a mitzva to write a Torah scroll, although they agree that there is a mitzva to print any sefer or Torah work.

 Another fascinating suggestion that opens a whole new window is the concept that perhaps our sefer Torahs are not correct. Uh oh! What does that mean? See there are many words in the Torah that are sometimes written "full" and sometimes they are written "missing". The letter vav serves as a vowel as well as a letter, sometimes that vav is present and others it isn't. There is obviously significance and meaning and laws that are derived from these nuances. But already in the times of the Talmud it seems that we lost the expertise in whether they are all correctly placed. Have no fear though, all our Sefer Torahs are with one tradition and that is the tradition that we follow. As well there is no difference between the texts themselves, so Bible Critics shut up.! Yet, because we had this original confusion we do not make a blessing on the writing of a Torah scroll and as well some suggest the mitzva may not be biblically obligatory anymore.

 The final loophole for writing a Torah scroll is that it's expensive and money is of object to Hashem who has mercy on the Jewish people's income. We are in fact told that one is not supposed to spend more than 1/5^th of one's income to fulfill a mitzva. So unless your making a good half mill a year, don't feel the pressure. On the other hand if you do have that kind of money, I know a nice little shul in Karmiel that sure wouldn't mind a 2^nd scroll.

 Finally there are opinions in halacha that since a Torah is invalid if even one letter is missing. Anyone that writes even one letter in a Torah can be considered as if he wrote the entire scroll as it wouldn't be kosher if that letter was missing. It is based on that idea that you will see many people participating in the writing of the final letters of the Torah ceremony. As well there are campaigns that encourage people to "buy a letter" or a parsha. It is the same concept. For if their contribution pays for the writing of that letter then it is as if they wrote it themselves.

 What an amazing mitzva this is. How befitting that the last mitzva in the Torah should be one that the wealthier and blessed members of our community should be the ones that have the obligation and opportunity to provide the texts, books, and Torah's to those that will teach them to all of the Jewish people. Each Jew has his own letter in the Torah we are told. Their parsha that alludes to their lives. We are literally the People of the Book. Let's start writing…

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 Dovid on the Run - 878 BC- After the endearing depiction of the departure of Dovid from his brother-in-law and beloved best friend Yonasan Dovid flees alone on foot to the nearby city of Nov. Now Nov was the city where the Mishkan was hosted for 13 years from the time the city of Shiloh fell and the Ark was taken. Where that city of Nov is today remains a mystery to archaeologists. The verse in Yishaya describing its destruction and exile during by Sancheirev tells us that it overlooks Yerushalayim and logistically it would seem it's near the Shuafat area today, yet there hasn't been any place that seems to match that description there that they have uncovered ruins from that period. It's good that there are still mysteries to uncover.

 When Dovid arrives the Kohen Gadol, Achimelech, greets him and is taken aback. What is the great general, hero and son-in-law of Shaul, Dovid doing traveling alone and looking weary and half dead from hunger? Where's the whole entourage. Dovid explains that he's on a secret mission for Shaul and his two lads that were accompanying him were sent up ahead. He asks for some bread as it seems he hadn't brought anything to eat with him along on the journey as he to flee so suddenly. Now the city of Nov was inhabited by Kohanim and they were just switching the showbreads of the Mishkan which were distributed to the Kohanim on the shift which was all he had on hand. After confirming that Dovid was in a state of purity and it was really life and death situation he gave him the loaves. Dovid as well asked for some weapons to take with him on the road. Nov was a peaceful Temple city. They didn’t really have much, however they did have the huge sword of Goliath that Dovid slew him with and was kept there. It seems nobody else wanted to use it because it was considered bad luck to use a sword that had killed its previous owner. Dovid who was not the superstitious type took it.

 The problem was that on the way, who does he bump into? None other than Shaul's head of the flocks- which some interpret as being the most important general of Shaul, and others as a euphemism for the head of the Sanhedrin. Perhaps even he had both jobs; Doeg HaEdomi. This great scholar and powerful minister was bad news. Our Rabbi's have lots of bad things to say about him. Doeg, it seems was there bringing the firstborns and sacrifices from Shauls' flocks as sacrifices and gifts to the local Kohanim. He had overheard this conversation and Dovid realizes that every second he remains he is in mortal danger and so he flees to the land of his savage enemy the Philistines in Gat who's King Achish's two right hand men are the brother of Goliath… oy… We'll talk more about them and Dovid's adventures there next week.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE COLOR JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 A Hasidic man, with a long beard, payis, a kaftan (long black coat), and shtreiml (the traditional fur hat), walks into a bar with a multi-colored parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says: "Where'd you get that?" The parrot replies: "Brooklyn. There's thousands of them.

A black guy in an library asked me where the colored printer was  I said "Sir, this is 2020. You can use any printer you want".

 It's funny how the colors Red, White, and Blue represent freedom. Until they're flashing behind your car

 I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before. It was just a pigment of my imagination.

What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common with a phone? The phone rings green....green.....green, so you pink it up and say yellow

What color is a window? Well, the answer's pretty clear.

An American is typing on a computer when he flies into a rage, shouting "How the hell am I misspelling color"? A Canadian takes a quick look at the screen before rolling his eyes and walking away, saying "that sounds like a you problem".

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Barack Obama? One gets made fun of for the color of his skin, and the other is Barack Obama!

Why do Christians color Easter eggs? Because they believe that yoshka dyed for their sins…

A ventriloquist was performing in a club telling dumb blonde jokes...With his dummy on his knee, he begins his usual routine of dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blond woman in the audience stands on her chair and starts shouting,

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women like that? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you that keep women like me from being respected at work, in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person! Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!"

Embarrassed, the ventriloquist tries to apologize but the blond interrupts yelling, "You stay out of this Mr. I'm talking to that little guy on your knee."

 Four surgeons are talking...

Four surgeons are talking about their favorite types of patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says he prefers to operate on librarians, because when you open them up everything is in alphabetical order.
The second surgeon says he likes to operate on accountants, because everything inside is numbered.
The third surgeon says his favorite are artists because everything is color-coded.
Finally the last surgeon says “nah, you are all wrong” politicians are the easiest, because they are brainless, gutless, heatless, and lack a spine.

 And finally…

My child got sick after sitting in front of her coloring books drawing all day I think she has The Crayonavirus.

 ********************************

Answer is D –  You don't even have to be an expert on Muslim holidays to know that this holiday of theirs, that celebrates "Akeydas Yishmael"- a pretty uncreative distortion of the Torah story of the binding of Yitzchak, has no set date or season. This is because none of the muslim holidays do. Their calendar which is a solely lunar calendar has 354 days; 11 days short of the solar calendar so it is constantly shifting seasons falling back 11 days a year. Judaism which also has a lunar calendar for our holidays has a mitzva to adjust our calendar with a leap month every few years because Pesach always has to be in Spring Sukkos harvest season yada yada… But I'm sure you knew that already and got this one right as I did. So another one right again and the score is Schwartz 34 and 11 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

Aliyah Tips- Parshat Ki Tavo 5780 /2020

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 4^th 2020 -Volume 10 Issue 45 15^th Elul 5780

Parshat Ki Tavo

Aliyah Tips

Mazel Tov! You're coming home. It's about time, already. We've been waiting for you here. Listen, I understand and am sympathetic, it took me a solid 15 years after I was married to make it over here and I had to wander the entire US of A first. You were settled. You had your job, your family obligations, your kid's schools and you really enjoyed sour pickles and American beef. I understand. Change isn't easy. I'm just glad that you're finally coming. That you're smart enough to see the writing on the wall already. Hey, not too long ago there were 6 million Jews that didn’t. You've learned the lessons of history though. You know that when the anti-semites are out of the closet and acting brazenly defacing shuls, shops and that hatred is all over the place that the ship has already sailed. That baby isn't being putting back into its crib. The game is over.

 

I know it's a bit unsettling. You were hoping to wait until you got married/ the kids were older/ the kids got married/ the grandchildren/got married/ you could retire/ you would come in a coffin… Pick your choice. But hey, Think of all of those millennia of your ancestors that had dreamed and davened to be privileged enough to have booked themselves on the next Aliyah flight like you have. And the truth is these days you pretty much could do most of the same things that you did back there. Your children can still attend their pathetic Zoom classes that you're still paying tuition for. You can telecommute for your work. You've pretty much been doing that already most of the time. I know you're sad about leaving behind all of those relatives and friends of yours behind. But to be honest this past year, you haven't seen too much of them anyways outside of your facetime and family chats and don’t worry they'll probably be joining you soon.

 

Now what do you know this week's parsha is actually the perfect Olim settling in Israel parsha. In fact it's title gives it away; Ki Tavo- when you will come. In the past I 've written articles on on being good tourists when coming to Israel. But those days are long gone. There are no tourists anymore. If you want to come these days, Hashem has pretty much said that you gotta come for good. It's been nice for the past couple of decades having you here for you your Bar Mitzvas, for you seminary or yeshiva years or for your family vacations. It was nice seeing you. But enough already. Come home. I want you here with Me always. We've got work to do here. It's pretty lonely when you guys are aren't around here. And it's really frustrating for Me to see that ugly gold pimple on my Temple Mount where we once joined together. I'm sick of seeing all of these churches and houses of idolatry all over My holy city. Your holy city. Our holy city. I want you home so I'm glad that you've finally decided to join the job I chose you for 3300 years ago on a Mountain out in Sinai. So read this parsha good, it's your Aliyah handbook. It's the things you need to know Ki Tavo- When you are coming home.

 

The first mitzvos are agricultural. That means that understanding that the fruits and vegetables that you've been picking up in your local supermarket and have taken for granted until now will now be the greatest tools to bonding with Hashem. You should become farmers, learn a little bit about the land and become inspired by the incredible miracle of the fruits that grow from it. Reb Zalman Sorotzkin, in his classic work Oznayim La'Torah writes that the main function of settling the land is to plant there. To work, to sweat, to plow, plant, harvest and to make the land flourish. Now most of us are white collar works. Sweat on our brow has meant that the air conditioning is not working so well. We're doctors, lawyers, accountants, techies and metal salesman. But not anymore. Let's roll up our sleeves and really get to work. It's time for a paradigm shift.

 

The Chasam Sofer takes this even a step further. He notes that the famous dispute between Rebbi Yishmael and Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai on whether one should spend their entire time studying Torah and rely on the blessing that will come through the hands of the work being "done for you" or whether one should learn together with working the land, really depends on where one is living. Outside of Israel where one's work is really just a means for providing one with income and putting food on the table, then you're better off studying Torah. Live simply and sacrifice as much as possible in order to maximize your Torah study, because that's the only thing that has true spiritual meaning. This is not so for those living in Israel. Working the land in Eretz Yisrael is of the highest spiritual value. In the words of the Chasam Sofer someone that chooses to learn Torah rather than work the land of Eretz Yisrael

 

Chasam Sofer (Sukka 36A) "is like someone who says I will not put on tefillin because I wish to learn Torah, So to is someone who says he will not gather in my gran because I want to learn Torah"

 

Wow! Imagine that going out and working in the field is a mitzva like putting on Teffilin. How awesome is that?

 

Now if you're nervous that you don't have a green thumb, like me. Not everyone has a little garden in my backyard like my farther does or has patience to sit and grow onion, tomatos and lettuce and other things that go inside of a hamburger bun. Fear not, first of all in Eretz Yisrael, these things pretty much grow themselves. Everywhere you go you'll find trees with pomegranates, olives, apples, pears, grapes figs and dates. It's awesome. But besides that the Chasam Sofer throws us another chiddush- revolutionary idea. He notes that not only working the ground is a mitzva but any craft, or job that helps set up society and settle the land and that is productive is a mitzva as well.

 

See in America there are parents that tell their idealistic yeshiva students who don't want to go to college or work that getting a job and providing for their family is also a mitzva. My father tried that- it didn't work. But in Israel your job really is a mitzva. Not just a mitzva of providing for your family, or earning money so you can give tzedaka, support Jewish causes…yada yada. In Israel it is inherently a mitzva. Every tap on your keyboard at your hi-tech job is like learning another word of Torah. Every twist with your screwdriver on the house your fixing is like putting another coin in the pushka and every patient you take care of, every useful product you produce or sell is like another Kiddush on Shabbos that you make. In fact the Chasam Sofer writes that the last letters of the words the zavaS chalaV U'DvaSH- flowing with milk and honey that this week's parsha repeatedly uses spell the word Shabbos. How cool is that!

 

The Parsha continues with the mitzva of Bikkurim and Viduy Maasrot. All of our planting and growing is there in order for us to bring our first fruits to the Mikdash and to support those that are needy and are dedicating themselves to building our spiritual country; the Kohanim and the levi'im. But this is not merely a tax. We have the mitzva of maaser sheni, where we bring the tithes to Jerusalem for us to eat. Because life in Eretz Yisrael is not just about building Torah institutions and supporting Kollels. It's about each Jews personal spiritual growth. We need to enjoy the fruits and enjoy them in Yerushalayim. We need to visit Hashem. We have a whole year of the Shemitta year when we don't work and just study Torah. Yes, working the land is a mitzva. But at the end of the day, we need Torah wisdom. We need the light of Torah in our lives. We need whole year to tap into that. By the way next year is the 6^th year in the shemitta count cycle where Hashem promises that He will provide for three years worth of parnassa. I'm pretty much counting on that. I didn't realize that he takes it off the fifth year cheshbon… But it's all good.

 

The Parsha hits that message of the essence of our spiritual Torah life in Israel by the first commandment even as we enter the land is to put up these two huge stones with the Torah written upon them. Reb Eliyahu Dessler notes that this mitzva is in order to hit home that the first place and thing we should do- even before conquering the land and setting up our garden is to write some Torah. Head off to the Beis Midrash. Make yourself a chavrusa. Find yourself a Torah class. Log in to you zoom class back in the States for all I care. But your Torah will be different here. It is just as much of a building block. In fact it's the foundation for everything that you will build and plant. So carve that into stone. In whatever language you wish. It's all holy here. It's all part of our redemption.

 

Next we have the blessings and the curses. Life in Israel is one where everything has meaning. Everything is extreme. Your Shabbos, your, holidays, your mitzvos, your work, your government, your neighbors, your friends and your family are not just small little different aspects and pieces of the makeup of your life. They all unite into one country, one people, one purpose. Like all the parts of your body where there is nothing extraneous, there is nothing that you do here that doesn't have the highest spiritual significance. If you mess up. It can bring the worst curses in the world. You're in the palace of the King. It's intense. At the same time, You're in the palace of the King- it doesn't get more awesome than that every detail of that palace is with perfect precision. Your house, your mezuza, your tefillin, your shul your tomatos and shwarma.

 

Finally the most important thing about living in Israel and the key to getting the blessings and bringing down the shechina to live here with us is to be happy. See, America's founding fathers gave you the liberty to pursue happiness. The problem is that how can you really be happy when you're in exile. It was a fruitless pursuit from the moment we landed there. Sure there have been some good times. It was an exile of relative peace and tranquility where we did indeed flourish. It was good while it lasted. But happiness? Neahhh. Our souls could never be happy outside of our home. Happiness is only in front of Hashem. It's only where we can be doing what we're meant to be doing, what we were chosen for. The rest is just pastrami sandwiches which are quite filling but in the end they just give you heartburn.

 

So when you come here, the final rule is to be happy. It's not always easy. But just read the parsha again and again. Think about the promise that is being fulfilled through us. Think about our history and all that we suffered through to get here. Think about that special love Hashem has for us and that He has never abandoned us. That He's been eagerly awaiting your plane. That he's standing there at the airport waving the flag as you get off those El Al wings of Eagles (I think that's the name of the new group that is buying them out now-how cool is that!). Baruch Hashem this year has been an awesome one. Sure, it's been rough it's been unsettling and too many of us have suffered tragedies and losses that have created voids that can never be filled. But it's a year that has shaken all of us up and made us all realize how unsettled our lives really are. How everything we have taken for granted in the past was just an illusion. How we need to really come home and get to work in the place we were meant to. May this coming year 5781-taf shin pei alef be the year of t'hei' shna pidyon America- the year of the redemption finally of our brothers and sisters in America and the entire world as we return the land that is awaiting for us.

Have a redemptive Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

*****************************************************************

Check out my latest Mishpacha JR. magazine Video

The Beit Shemesh Area

Dovid, Golyas, Jeep rides, Shimshon, Tel Beit Shemesh,

Stories of Tanach come alive

Guest appearances

Elka and Tully

https://mishpacha.com/club-jr-episode-14

 

See the video everyone is talking about!

**********************

**********************************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 " Besser bay zikh krupnik, eyder bay yenem gebrotns.." Better barley soup at home than a roast at someone else’s home.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

43) The number of Knesset members in the Israeli Knesset is:

A.  70

B.  71

C.  100

D.  120

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 https://mishpacha.com/club-jr-episode-14 - My latest video for Mishpacha Jr. The Beit Shemesh area guest appearances Tully and Elka

 https://youtu.be/JWNkamObGKc  -The Sound of the Shofar (Simon and Garrfunkel knockoff) by OORAH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKHa8WLJF8 – Berry Webber give a smile!

 https://youtu.be/NbbLiZ4STOg – Pumbedisa Elul-Hamelech Basadeh

 https://youtu.be/TIpNvIfs2g4  –Nissim Black's latest Rerun

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 Parshat Ki Tavo – Bikkurim-First Fruits- Ok Mashiach is on his way, so it's time to start brushing up on the laws of the land. Sacrifices are all fine and good, but perhaps the most spectacular and common offering was the Bikkurim first fruit ceremony. Israel is a very agricultural society. Every year from Shavuos to Sukkos there would be daily caravans approaching Yerushalayim with baskets laden with fruit decorated each person according to their status. The poor head straw baskets the more affluent had golden ones. (There's a message in that-no one did more than they could afford). They would come from all over Israel, they would sleep in the streets of the cities along the way in order to let everyone know they were going to the Beis Hamikdash. Uman on Rosh Hashana had nothing on this. As they approached Yerushalayim they would have wagons being pulled by oxen with golden ornamented horns and music playing in front of them. All the shopkeepers and dignitaries would come to greet them. It was an amazing scene, and all for a basket of fruit.

 

Now the process to get ready for this mitzva starts as soon as the fruit begins to blossom. A ribbon is tied around the first fruit and a declaration is made that this is Bikkurim. It is only from fruits that are of the five of the species that are fruits; dates, pomegranates, figs, grapes and olives. For the next few weeks you would go out and watch how this fruit grows until it is fully ripe. So exciting. When it is finally picked you can imagine the joy and appreciation that one has for Eretz Yisrael, for living here, for the blessing Hashem has given us. There's only one place to head after that. Yerushalayim; to tell Him so yourself.

 One comes into the Mikdash. He walks up those incredible 15 steps, he sees the glorious building, the marble, the gold and hehears the heavenly choir of the Levi'im and their orchestra. He brings his basket to the Kohen who waves it together with him. He them makes a declaration, which recalls all the kindness Hashem has done for us since our forefathers. It's a familiar recital. They are the verses we recite at our Pesach Seder. We then place our humble offering by the Mizbayach for the Kohanim and our mission is complete. What an amazing service. Are you guys psyched? Get ready it's almost time to start it up again…

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 Shaul VS Dovid Round I - 878 BC- With Dovid's marriage to Michal two things happened. Number one the Plishtim were not that happy that his wedding gift to his Father-in-law were the 200 foreskins that he took from the Plishtim that he killed as can be expected. In addition they figured that since Dovid was in "shana rishona" the first year of marriage that he would not be permitted to go out to fight against them, so they could act impunity. And they attacked. Little did they know that exemption was only for permissible wars that we wage to expand the borders of Israel. A defensive war though, everyone goes out to fight. And Dovid trounced them again and again.

 The second thing that took place as a result of this was that Shaul's jealousy and melancholy got worse and worse and he repeatedly tried to kill Dovid. He threw spears at him, he spoke to his servants about it and even to his son Yonasan. One evening though things really got exciting when Shaul posted his guards outside Dovid's home in order to bring to get killed the next morning. Michal though covered for Dovid lowering him down through the window and putting a statue in his bed with a goats hair sheitel. Yonasan attempts to make peace again and again ubber tzu helft nisht. Dovid flees to Shmuel in Rama.

 They got to a neighbourhood called Nayot. Today, there is a neighbourhood in Yerushalayim that is named after it. Chazal tell us that the name is a reference to the Beis Hamikdash called Neve Kodshecha, and that entire night Shmuel taught him the laws of the building of the Mikdash and they sat down to figure out where exactly Har Habayis where it would be built was meant to be. Shaul, sent 3 different groups of guards there to arrest Dovid and bring him back, but legion after legion all began to prophesize pon approaching them that Dovid was meant to rule. Shaul, himself made his way up to Rama to see what was going on and he came under the same spell of prophecy and eventually went back empty handed. Ultimately it seems that Dovid returned home again but it wasn’t for long when once again Shaul was out to get him.

 Dovid confronts his beloved friend Yonasan to see if there was any way out of this and  at the Rosh Chodesh Seuda Yonasan sees that any mention of Dovid to his father just brings out this murderous rage. In order to signal to Dovid that he should flee he goes out to the field and by utilizing a pre-arranged signals of shooting arrows and telling his assistant o fetch them as they had flown far away. Dovid knew that he had to flee. These trials and tribulations, that Dovid underwent became the inspiration for many of the psalms that he composed in his tefillos to Hashem. As well it prepared him for his Kingship. Because one thing a king has to learn, is that not everyone will love him and his life will always be in danger. Next week We'll learn the further adventures of Dovid in exile.

 (We've learned the stories until now check out the Rabbi Schwartz Dovid and Golyas video!)

https://mishpacha.com/club-jr-episode-14

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FARMER JOKES  OF THE WEEK

ack in one of the shtetels of Europe, the local Rebbe was having a conversation with a poor farmer about the nature of belief, and how even difficult financial times, everything comes from Hashem. The Rebbe said to the poor farmer, "Reb Yid, let me ask you, if you had a horse, and you were asked, would you give it to Hashem?"

"Yes," replied the farmer.

"And if you had a cow?"

"Absolutely."

"And a goat?"

"Of course."

"A wagon?"

"Rebbe, that's not fair!" protested the farmer. "You know I have a wagon!"

Morty Applebaum bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."

"Well, then, just give me my money back," said Morty.

"Can't do that,” replied the farmer. “I went and spent it already."

"OK, then. Just unload the donkey."

"What ya gonna do with him?"

"I'm going to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Morty and asked, "Whatever happened with that dead donkey?"

"I raffled him off. I sold five hundred tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."

"Didn't anyone complain?" asked the farmer.

"Just the guy who won,” said Morty. “So I gave him his two dollars back."

 Little Itzik Goldshmit from Kibbutz Kfar Giladi in Israel was visiting his American cousin who lived in Florida. One day a farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. Itzik saw him and asked, "What do you have in your truck?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked little Itzik.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.

"Back in my kibbutz," Itzik advised, "We put sugar and cream on ours."

 One day Chaim Yankel, a farm boy in the town of Chelm, accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn while traveling on one of the country roads. The farmer who lived nearby was riding by and saw what happened. "Chaim Yankel!!" the farmer yelled. "Don’t worry about your wagon. Come to my house for supper and I can take you home afterwards."

"That's mighty nice of you,” Chaim Yankel answered, "but I don't think Dad would like me to."

"Awe, come on," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," Chaim Yankel finally agreed, and added, "But Dad won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Chaim Yankel thanked his host. "I really enjoyed the meal, but I know Dad is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

 

Dudi Shaked, an Israeli farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.

During his first day of work, the local Rabbi stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"

A few months later, the Rabbi stops by again to call on the Dudi. Lo and behold, it's like a completely different place -- the farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

"Amazing!" the Rabbi says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

"Yes, Rabbi," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

 *********************************

Answer is D –  OK we're almost done with this exam. And it looks like I definitely passed and could still get my license if I had to take the exam again 8 years later and hopefully even get a decent grade as well. This is another easy one. See, I like little factoids and nuggets particularly when we find ancient sources for modern Israeli life. The Knesset has 120 members the same as there were in the original anshei Knesset Ha'gedola- men of the great assembly of the second Temple period. Another one right again and the score is Schwartz 33 and 11 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.