from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim
Schwartz
"Your friend
in Karmiel"
July 14th
2023 -Volume 12 Issue
40 25th of Tamuz 5783
Parshat Matos-Ma’asey
The Prayer
The stories of the Torah pretty much come to an end this week. Next
week we begin the book of Devarim which is a long speech- a very long speech,
by Moshe Rabbeinu. So don’t ever complain about the length of my E-Mails, OK… I’m
just following in the oratory of footsteps of the greatest leader of our
nation. And I even throw in jokes along the way… So stop kvetching…
But this week as we conclude Bamidbar with the final two Torah
portions, the narrative portion of the Torah comes to an end. As with all good
stories and books we need to put all the pieces together at the end. It’s the
conclusion of everything. And thus there’s a lot of recapping going on. We have
the laws of the personal vows, the final battle of the life of Moshe against
Midyan along with an inordinate and quite bizarre recounting of all of the
specifics of the booty that we took from them and it’s division amongst the
tribes and the Kohanim and Levi’im as well as the portion dedicated to Hashem.
We continue with the division of the land on the other side of the Jordan River
amongst the 2½ tribes of Reuvein, Gad and Menashe. And then we recap all of our
travels and the ultimate borders of Eretz Yisrael.
Do you want to know what the conclusion of everything is all
about? It’s all about Eretz Yisrael. It’s all about coming home and building a
home for Hashem here. It’s what the creation of the world was all about, way
back in the first Rashi of the Torah. Rashi- whose yartzeit generally always
falls out this week. It’s in this parsha that the mitzva is given to inherit
the land. To throw out everyone that will prevent us from inheriting it. To
understand that this is not merely a “national homeland” for the Jews and place
to settle where no one will mess with us. But rather it’s the only place where
our mitzvos have meaning and connect to their essence, which is to shine out
the light of Hashem to the world when we are all living here together. We are
all doing what we are supposed to. It’s when and how the shechina will
finally shine down.
In my shul, we have the “custom” to say the “traditional” prayer
for the State of Israel. I have quotation marked the words “custom” and “traditional”
as obviously the State is only around for about 75 years or so. Generally, when
we talk about tradition and customs they go back hundreds of years at least. Fascinatingly
enough the prayer that was introduced by Rav Yitzchak Ha’Levi Herzog in 1948 a
few months after the State was declared was first printed in the liberal Ha’Aretz
newspaper. Now even though I would say I’m
a pretty yeshivishe guy, although there are certainly many that would disagree-
but I certainly went to black-hat yeshivos-which seems to be all that’s really necessary
to identify as such. I certainly am not the Kippa seruga type- not that there’s
anything wrong with that of course…
Yet, I would say that the prayer for the State and the army for
that matter is one of the primary signs that in fact you are not a yeshivishe
guy. Certainly in America. In Lakewood- they don’t say it. I don’t even think
they say it in Tom’s River or Jackson despite the fact that the people that
live there like to say “We’re not really Lakewood guys…We live in Jackson…” .
Uh huh… Like the guys that say “I’m not really a New Yorker- I live in Kensington…
in Monsey… in Bayswater… Yeah….”
Growing up in my shul in Detroit they didn’t say it. We had a yeshivisheh
Rabbi, although I remember there was a lot of controversy when he left and the
next Rav who they tried to get to say it also refused. Certainly, I’m not a fan
of extra stuff in davening. I’m the guy that avoids tachanun and tries to daven
in a minyan with a Mohel or a chasidish place where they have a list of
all of the great Rabbi’s yahrzeits that they for some reason don’t say
tachanun on. Certainly on Shabbos when davening is already super long-
particularly when you have a Rabbi like me that sings a lot and who thinks he’s
Moshe Rabbeinu that can get away with speaking for a long time, I don’t want to
add anything extra. It’s why I don’t say the blessing for the people that don’t
talk in shul or speak lashon hara or whatever mitzva of the week that is on the
table that some yeshivish places seem to manage to have time for. Yet, upon
moving here and establishing my shul, I felt it was important to incorporate
these two prayers for the State and the chayalim. I knew it would upset
some. I like upsetting people, particularly if I’m right.
My Rebbi once told me-although I don’t think he meant it this way
and certainly not in this circumstance- that I should never get up to speak without
saying at least one thing that might get me thrown out on my head. Don’t get up
and say the ‘touchy-feely’, ‘tikkun olam’ types of drashos.
When you speak- you need to be able to push people beyond their comfort zone. If
they haven’t gotten upset or uncomfortable where they are, then you aren’t
doing your job. That idea has always been one of my guiding lights, I do that
on my tours, in my drashos, and in these E-mails. Frankly I get nervous if
I go a few weeks without any “unsubscribes”. Am I being too pareve?
So, I say the prayer for the State. When We lived in Virginia,
they would annoyingly say the prayer for the United States of America and it’s
president. I wasn’t a fan. He’s a goy. Why am I davening for him? My
kiddush and chulent is being pushed off another few minutes because of this. I’m
hungry. Yet, obviously once I actually read the words of the prayer it made
sense. The prayer was that that Hashem should put in their hearts that the
goyim should like us. They shouldn’t kill us. They shouldn’t throw us out. It
made sense. After 2000 years of that happening to us repeatedly- it makes sense
that we should daven for that. Our sages even instituted back in the Roman times.
We need to pray for the “peace of the rulership” because if not for that the
game would be over. They’d come for us and chaos would reign as it always has
in our history of Galus.
Yet the question that troubles me is why doesn’t everyone say the
tefilla for the Medina, Eretz Yisrael and boys in green? Have you even looked
at the words? The prayer has quite a few ideas that would seem that we
observant and even Chareidi Jews would and should want more than anyone else.
Let’s take it slow.
Avinu She’bashahmayim- Our Father in heaven, the rock of
Israel and it’s redeemer. Bless the State of Israel- the rerishis tzmichas
ge’ulaseynu- the beginning of the flourishing of our redemption.
OK, now it seems that most of the yeshivish people get stuck right
over here. There are even some shuls that leave out this sentence. They find it
hard to believe that this secular state that was established by “heretics” and
Torah violators at best should be called the beginning of the flourishing of
our redemption. They’re wrong and they’re stupid. See, I told you I’m not pulling
punches.
First of all, guess what. We believe that that Mashiach and the
redemption always comes from the most hidden and tamey places. Let’s start
with Lot and his daughters the progenitors of Rus and King David. Let’s not
talk about Yehuda and Tamar. Forget about the fact, that the whole Moav thing
is the epitome of licentiousness where Rus, a granddaughter of Balak in the
last two parshiyot and related to Kozbi who was also Balak’s descendant
comes from. Dovd Ha’Melech has his own sordid stories, where Klal Yisrael doesn’t
even accept him as Jewish possibly or legitimate.
The Mishnas Sachir, Rav Teichtel in his incredible work Eim Ha’Banim
Semaycha writes and explains that Mashiach has to come from such sordid starts,
otherwise the Satan and the heavenlhy accusers would make a fuss. So Hashem has
to bring him to the world below the radar. He even says in his modern Holocaust
period, that if he and the great Rabbis of Europe who he was associated with
(The Bnai Yissaschar and others) would’ve came back to build Eretz Yisrael with
purity and holiness, the Satan would never have let it happen. It’s why, he
suggests, Hashem made it happen with these secular Jews, as well to give them
merits in the redemption- despite their lack of religious observance and even
faith.
But leaving that on the side, I hope and daven, as should you that
the holocaust was the beginning of the flourishing of our redemption. I hope
that Donald Trump was the beginning of the flourishing of our redemption. I
hope and pray that Corona was the beginning of the flourishing of our
redemption. Every world event, we should daven for that to be true. So why not
the State of Israel as well…? Don’t you hope and pray that it should be?
Certainly the fact that the entire world recognized our right to establish a national
Jewish homeland in Israel, even the Chafetz Chaim celebrated when he heard that
Balfour mandate. So why does that phrase irk you so much?
But forget about that line. The rest of the prayer asks for Hashem
to shine His light and truth to it’s leaders and advisors. Don’t we want that.
Don’t we want them and every Jew to have that light? Don’t we want shalom ba’aretz-
peace in the land? Don’t we want protection for our brothers and the children
of our brothers and sisters as they defend our land. Don’t we want success in
their operations and attacks to wipe out the murderers that seek to destroy us?
I know you all daven for that. So why not say the tefilla?
Maybe it’s because the 2nd paragraph asks Hashem for
Him to gather in all our brothers in galus back to Eretz Yisrael, and
you kind of like it there… I imagine. And you want to enjoy it a bit longer.
Don’t say bring us me’heira- very fast back to the land. You’ve got
things to do still. I know that’s not true. I’m just teasing you… I hope…
But it gets even more “chareidi” in the last paragraph. We ask
Hashem to unite us all together. Not just stam unite; but unite our
hearts to love and fear Hashem and to fulfill all the mitzvos in the Torah. All
of them! That he should bring Mashiach. That He should bring an end to the
galus. And that He should shine His light around the world to the point
that every soul says Hashem, the God of Israel is the King and His Kingship is all
over. Is there a more beautiful and meaningful prayer? Is there one that better
expresses our deepest souls longing. Wouldn’t you rather take the three minutes
it takes to say it instead of the “Not talking during Torah reading” prayer?
Really?
This week’s last Parsha and story tells us about the battle of
Midyan, the prelude to the inheritance of the land. We had lots of battles. Lots
of wars. None get as much bogged down with seemingly extraneous facts as this
one does. It’s the most described war in the Torah. It’s also a bizarre battle.
1000 men per tribe. That’s a tiny army to wipe out an entire nation. We
certainly had more than that. Bila’am himself says that our 600,000 couldn’t
wipe out Egypt. We just lost 24,000 in the plague alone against Moav when we
sinned. This is half of them. It’s also a war that is not led by Yehoshua, the
general of Israel. It’s Pinchas. It’s the Kohen. It’s the trumpets. It’s the
Aron. He’s wearing the Tzitz- head-plate (the Kohanic equivalent of a
black hat of course). And then it tells us about the mind-blowing specifics of
the booty that we came back with. I have no idea how they did it. Look at the
numbers.
Sheep- 675,000 – 56 per person if you divide it by 12,000
Cows- 72,000- 6 per person
Donkeys- 61,000 – 5 per person
Women captives- 32,000- everyone had 2½ or so…
Forget about the gold, the booty, all of the dishes, the pots, the
pans, and the obscene jewlery we took from them.
That’s a lot to shlep back. What’s pshat in this war?
Have an uplifting Shabbos and a Chodesh Av that become as a happy
one,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
************************
YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Emess
iz in sidder..”- The truth is only in the
Siddur- prayer book
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
30) The Suez
Crisis (=The Sinai Campaign) broke out in the year:
Israel
retreated from the territories occupied during that war as a result of:
A) a peace
treaty with Egypt
B) pressure
from superpowers
C) the
resignation of David Ben-Gurion
D) the rise to
power of the "Likud" Party
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/al-eileh-acapella
- It’s
the three Weeks. Acapella time again… and start off your three weeks with my
mournful Al Eileh Composition that hopefully we won’t have to sing this Tisha
B’Av
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vmCpldXKrI
–Tefilla for the State in the Churva shul beautiful
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aqqg63yc9mE
– Levi Cohen doing a Carlebach rendition of Yerushalayim…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjsgwp3cV0Q
– Tzion Ba’Mar Tivkeh- Yossi Bayles hauntingly moving
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3NPOLm4wuo
– Moshe Tishler ( a tourist of mine!) beautiful acapella version of his
Mitratzeh
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR
PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Yeihu! . We now get introduced to one of the most fascinating figures and
Kings of Israel; Yeihu. According to our sages Yeihu was from the
tribe of Menashe (easy way to remember it is his father’s name is Nimshi-
which sounds like Menashe. He was
a general of Yehoram’s in the battle of Ramot Gilead against Chazael
of Aram/ Syria. When Yehoram was injured and went back to his palace
in Jezre’el, which is of course a great site to visit in Tel Jezre’el
in the Valley, Elisha sent his servant to anoint Yeihu as king and send
him on the mission to finally avenge the house of Achav. Their chips
have finally come in and it was payback time.
The servant he sent was none other than Yonah,
the famous prophet who we read about on Yom Kippur and got swallowed by the
large fish. As well according to some of our sages Yonah was the child of
the Tzarfati woman whom Eliyahu brought back to life while he hid
there from the house of Achav. If that’s the case then it would only be appropriate
that he bring the revenge of Eliyahu and promise to destroy the house of Achav
to it’s fruition. As well, Yonah is the one that will eventually be
charged with dealing with the aftermath of the house of Yeihu whom he anoints
and the story of the city of Ninveh which will later follow and be a
result of the fall of the house of Yeihu. He got the ball rolling and
sees it through to the end.
The location of the grave of Yonah interestingly
enough has varying “traditions” ranging the religions as Muslims and Christians
seem to have a connection to the prophet of “teshuva”. According to some
Muslim traditions he’s in Mosul in Iraq. But the consensus seems to put
his grave in a mosque in the Galilean Arab Village of Mashad (near Nazareth
which is identified as the biblical city of Gat Chefer where he was
from. There’s even a mosque there that’s described by pilgrims 100’s of years
ago dedicated to Nebi Yunis, as they call him.
So Yonah arrives at Yeihu s army base in Gilead,
on the other side of the Jordan river, where in this week’s portion we
are told the tribe of Reuvein and Gad wish to inherit. He runs inside
and tells Yeihu that he has been appointed the King by Hashem and his
mission- if he shall accept it will be to wipe out and avenge the sins of the
house of Achav by wiping out every male- or in the biblical term- “he
who pishes on the wall”. Yonah, quickly runs out after that, lest he be
caught and punished for treason. Yeihu, discounts publicly the words of
the “Meshugene” as he describes Yonah. Yet, his men accept that
leadership and take off their garments and allow him to sit upon them in a sign
of submission. The role and kingdom of a new kingship that will change the
history of the Jewish nation both in the North and South is about to begin.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE PRAYER JOKES OF THE WEEK
Yankel listened to the Rebbe at shul one Shabboss morning and when
the Rebbe asked those with special requests to come to him at Seuda
Shlisheet/(3rd meal) , Yankel came.
When it was his turn, Yankel sat down and the Rebbe asked, "What
do you want me to help you with?"
Yankel said, "Pray for my hearing, Rebbe."
The Rebbe put one hand over Yankel's ear and his other hand on top
of his head and prayed a while.
Then he removed his hands and asked, "Yankel, how is your
hearing now?"
Yankel answered, "I don't know, Rebbe. It's next
Wednesday at the courthouse!"
When young David was asked by his father to say the evening prayer,
he
realized he didn't have his head covered..so he asked his little
brother Henry
to rest a hand on his head until prayers were over. Henry grew
impatient after a few minutes and removed his hand. The father said, "This
is important...put your hand back on his head!" to which Henry exclaimed,
"What, am I my brother's kipah?"
Sol has a job that takes him everywhere and he frequently has
problems finding a schul in some of the towns, so he figures G~d is everywhere,
and decides to go into a church to worship. He takes out his tallis, puts on
his yarmulke, dresses himself and proceeds to pray. The priest comes in and
wants to start the services, and, having heard the whispers from some of his
congregants, he stands up and says,
"Will all non-Catholics please leave."
Sol goes right on davening. Next request, again, "Will all
non-Catholics
please leave."
Nobody moves or responds. Finally, the priest gets up and
says loudly, "WILL ALL JEWS PLEASE LEAVE!” At this, Sol
gets up, folds his
tallis, takes off his yarmulke and puts them away.
He then goes up to the altar, picks up the statue of the baby Yoshka
and says
the immortal words: "Come, Tattela, they don't want us here
anymore...”
An elegantly dressed man starts up the steps of a large temple on
Yom Kippur. At the front door, a security guard stops him:
"Are you a member of this synagogue, sir?" the guard asks.
"No."
"Did you purchase a ticket to attend Rosh Hashana and Yom
Kippur services here?"
"No, I did not," the man says.
"I'm sorry," the guard says, "but you are forbidden to
enter the synagogue then."
The man is desperate. "I have a very important message to
give to Mr. Brian Goldstein. It's a matter of the greatest importance, an
emergency. His wife just had a baby. You must let me in to speak with
him."
"Okay, okay," the guard finally says. "I'll let you in.
But if I catch you davening..."
Rabbi Herzl was visiting Mrs Gold, an elderly member of his
congregation. Rabbi Herzl said, “You know, my dear Mrs Gold, that you are
getting on in years and although I pray to the almighty that he will grant you
many more years in good health, you really should now be thinking more of the
hereafter.”
Mrs Gold replied, “Thank you, Rabbi, but I am always thinking
about the hereafter.”
Rabbi Herzl was rather surprised with this response. “Really?” he
said.
“Oh yes, Rabbi, every time I go upstairs, I say to myself, ‘what
am I here after?’ and every time I go into my kitchen, I say to myself, ‘what
am I here after?’ I do it all the time now.”
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So, you
tell me that your mother says your prayers for you each night. That’s very
commendable. What does she actually say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's finally in
bed!"
The CEO of KFC requests an audience with the Pope. After some
discussion, the CEO tells the Pope that he has a proposition. The company will
make a $1 billion donation to the Catholic Church on one condition- that the
Lord’s Prayer wording be officially changed from “give us this day our daily
bread” to “give us this day our daily chicken.”
The pontiff says that he will have to consult with the cardinals.
After much debate, it is agreed that they will accept this proposal.
The Pope turns to his secretary and says “get our legal team on
the phone.”
“You mean so that they can set up a contract with KFC?”
“Yes,” says the Pope, “and also to find a way we can get
out of our contract with the bread people.”
A priest was approached one night by Satan himself.
"Do not be frightened," said Satan. "I have an offer to make.
I will make you tremendously powerful, famous and rich in return for just one
small favour: half of your ability to hear."
The priest was stunned. "Let me think about it for a few
days."
The next morning, the priest requested to meet the bishop. "Your
Excellency, I need your advice for a temptation I have been given!"
He told over his strange encounter. The bishop was shocked. "A
deal with Satan?! Do not do it, it will destroy your soul!"
But he could see the priest was not convinced. So the bishop
arranged a meeting with the archbishop.
"Your Excellency, this priest has an urgent matter he needs
advice about!"
He told over the story. The
archbishop bowed his head in silent prayer, and after a few moments responded.
"Firstly, your hearing is a gift from God. It would be forbidden to
sacrifice any part of it. Secondly, a deal with Satan?!? Never do it!"
But the priest wasn't convinced. He was imagining all the wealth,
fame and power he'd receive. So the archbishop requested an audience with the
Pope.
The three of them came into the Papal office in great awe. They
sat, and the archbishop spoke. "Your Holiness, this priest has a
terrible temptation and needs advice!"
"Sorry, could you speak a little louder?" Asked the Pope.
A ship was sinking and the captain of the ship gathers all
passengers on deck and asks the crowd: "Does anyone here know how to
say prayers".
A priest steps forward: "I can" he says with some
pride in his voice.
"Actually, I used to
say the best prayers in the monastery, and they would be answered by God
too" he continues boastfully.
"Great" answers the captain, "We're one life jacket short, so you
say prayers, me and the crew are gonna rescue the rest of passengers by the
life jackets".
A guy was giving the opening prayer at a convention and he said,
"Life is a mystery everyone must stand alone I hear you call my name
and it feels like home."
So the MC said, "That's not really a prayer."
And the guy said, "Well no, but it's like a prayer."
(I’m not explaining that one… you either get it or you don’t…)
Tommy was just a little Christian kid who used to pray for a
bicycle. Then as he grew older he learned in Sunday school, that's not how
prayer works. So he stole a bike...and prayed for forgiveness.
Yankel is out shopping one day when she meets Rabbi Levy.
"Hello rabbi," he says. "How are you? I
hope you are keeping well."
"Well if I'm not mistaken," says Rabbi Levy, "it's
Mr. Gross, isn't it?"
"Yes rabbi, it is," replies Yankel
"I haven't seen you in shul now for quite some time,"
says Rabbi Levy.
"I know," says Yankel, looking quite embarrassed,
"I stopped going to shul some time ago because every time I went, it
was always the same old thing."
"Always the same thing?" asks Rabbi Levy, looking puzzled, "I
don't understand you."
"You know, rabbi," explains Yankel, "KOL NIDRAY..."
Benjamin woke up one Saturday morning in a bad mood. When he came
down to breakfast, he told his visiting sister Sarah angrily, "I'm not
going to shul today!"
"Yes you are," Sarah replied calmly.
"No I'm not. I don't want to go there ever again! The
people down there don't like me, they ignore me...they don't appreciate me at
all...and I won't go back."
"You will go to shul today, and you will continue to go too,"
said Sarah with confidence, "and I'll give you two reasons. Number one,
you're 45 years old and number two – you're the rabbi!"
Gladys Dunn started reading some books about Judaism and decided
that she wanted to start going to shul. There was one near her house so she
went early one Shabbat morning. The shul itself was beautiful and the people
seemed friendly but the Rabbi’s sermon seemed to go on and on. Worse, it wasn't
very interesting. Glancing around, she saw many in the congregation nodding
off.
Finally it was over. After the service, she turned to a still
sleepy-looking woman next to her, extended her hand and said, "I'm
Gladys Dunn."
She replied, "You and me both!"
********************************
The answer to this week”s
question is B - Modern war
stuff is usually the easiest, yet the 1956 campaign is probably the one I talk
about the least, as it didn’t take place in the Israel that I tour regularly.
Yet, it’s story is an amazing one. It’s Israel joining together with France and
Britain to open up the Suez Canal that Nasser had nationalized. We lost close
to 200 soldiers in that war with almost 1000 wounded- about ten times as many
as Fance and Britain combined but at the end of the day it was a huge success
and established us as formidable force in the Middle East with a top army. It
also gave us the Sinai desert, although we withdrew afterwards due to pressure
from the US, Russia and the UN. Yet it was returned to us in the 6- day war
which followed this in 1967 and remained in our hands until Begin’s peace
accords in the 70’s. Got this one right and hopefully back on track making the
score now at 22.5 for Schwartz and 7.5 for Ministry of tourism on this
exam so far.
