Cheesecake Altars- Parshat Naso 2025 5785

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

June 7^th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 30 10^th of Sivan 5785

 

Parshat Naso

 Cheesecake Altars

Shavuos is over. There's a lot of extra cheese cake sitting in my fridge. I like cheese cake. I like it a lot. In fact, it's probably my favorite cake. I'm not big on creamy, cakey cakes or even gooey, chocolatey ones. I like my protein, preferably very sweet and with a graham crackery crust with crumbs on top of it. At least that's the way I like it when there's no dead warm blooded animal alternatives around and Ben and Jerry's for dessert. Now although since my surgery I really can't eat much, my eyes still want what they want and I still buy those things that I like as I used to in the good old 275 lb. Rabbi Schwartz bottomless stomach days. Yet, when it came down to it… my eyes don't really eat much. And it turns out that besides my Berger children and twin bottomless pit grandchildren, the rest of the extended Schwartz family didn't really do much serious cheesecake damage over the holiday. So, there's lots left. And there's really no one too much at home these days to eat it.

 Now leftover cheesecake is certainly better than leftover matza lasagna after Pesach, latkas and even doughnuts after Chanuka, and hamantashen after Purim. It's cheesecake after-all. And Shavuos, at least for us good Jews living in Eretz Yisrael where Hashem wants us to, is only a one-day Yom Tov. Not like for the bad Jews, in case you didn't get the subtle arrogant swipe, whom Hashem punishes with a two-day Yom Tov (check out the Yerushalmi Eiruvin 3:9). It's not seven or eight days like the other holidays over which you eventually get sick of the holiday fare. But still it's sitting there in my fridge looking at me pathetically.

 The praline cheese cake, the Dubai one, the caramel coated one with oreos on it. They have this look like they're asking me what they did wrong in a previous life to not merit to get eaten in Shavuos. How it got stuck in the house of a really excited Rabbi with a stomach the size of an egg that can't take more than a few bites. They had heard about Schwartz in shamayim a few years ago and how all the good food wanted to end up on my plate. But they missed the boat. They came down too late to my plate. And now they feel like spoiled chopped liver. Like leftover chulent. What will be their fate?

 Well, cheesecake, I've got good news for you. I saw an incredible insight from Rav Moshe Shapiro that pretty much takes care of you. See, you're lucky. You can still be great. You can even be greater than a regular cheesecake. In fact, the Talmud tells us that you can become like a sacrifice on the altar of the Temple. How does that work? I see you're getting all creamy and mushy just thinking about it… Well let's find out.

 The Talmud in Sukka sheds new light on to a verse that we sing at the end of Hallel on Yom Tov.

Kel Hashem va'yaer lanu- Hashem is our God and He shines light upon us

isru chag ba'avosim ad karnos ha'mizbayach- tie the holiday with ropes to the corners of the altar.

 The gemara tells us, and Rashi explains, that anyone that binds the holiday with good food afterwards it's as if he built an altar and brought a sacrifice on it. In the words of Rav Shapiro, in all of our prayers we ask that Hashem should give us the merit to bring sacrifices on an altar once again in Yerushalayim. Well, now you can. All you have to do is eat that left over cheesecake right after the holiday and it's as if you're in the Beit Hamikdash bringing a sacrifice…mamash! Cool, right? How you feeling about that cheesecake now?

 But what does that really mean? I would think that binding myself to the holiday would be to take the messages those holidays are meant to convey to us on a spiritual level. Pesach is freedom, miracles, redemption, Sukkos, faith in Hashem, clouds of protection, lulav etrog, unity. Shavuos is Torah, Divine revelation, Chosen-ness of our nation. Cheesecake? Leftover Pesach cakes? Matza lasagna? Latkas? Post-holiday food leftovers don't really seem to be that spiritual? How are they altars?

 Perhaps out of all of the holidays Shavuos is the one that we can best appreciate this concept. See, all other holidays are quite long. Shavuos though is really only the one day. As well, all other holidays have all types of rituals and symbols. Sukkos is packed with sukka, schach the four species, Hoshanas, simchas bais Ha'Shoevas. Pesach you have the cleaning, the matza, the burning, Seder, maror, korech and afikoman. Shavuos though really doesn't have anything besides the fact that it's a holiday. In fact, Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev once explained that is why it's called Atzeret- which means stop. The only thing that even makes it a holiday is that there's a prohibition to do work. It doesn't have anything else to it.

 Even more fascinating is that Shavuos doesn't really have a date to it. According to the Talmud it can sometimes fall out on the 6^th of Sivan or the 7^th of Sivan. The Torah doesn't even tell us when the Torah was given. All it tells us is that the date the Jews came to Sinai on the month of Sivan. It lets us figure out the rest. It comes after the counting of 49 days from the 2^nd day of Pesach when we bring the Omer offering. But it's not a day in of itself. Truth is, it doesn't really even have a name for itself. It's just called weeks, after the 7 weeks that preceded it and we counted the Omer from Pesach

 It's not just the lack of date, rituals or even special occasion alone though. Startlingly, the mountain itself where the Torah was given doesn't really have any significance to it either. Mt. Sinai or Jabbel Musa as it's known in the Sinai desert isn't a mountain that most people visit. There's no shul there. Reb Shayaleh sees more people each year in Kersiter then the mountain where Hashem revealed Himself to the world on and gave us the Torah. That's pretty strange. So if you think about it, the holiday of Shavuos doesn't really exist in time, in place, or in rituals or mitzvos. Out of all of the other holidays of a biblical orientation and even of a rabbinic one, like Chanuka or Purim, it's probably the least celebrated by marginally observant Jews, despite the fact that it would seem that it should be the most significant.

 On the other hand, Shavuos is a holiday that one of the previous Lubavitcher Rebbe's once said has the longest "chol ha'moed" intermediate days. Because despite the fact that it is only a one-day holiday, yet that holiday continues and really concludes 120 days later when the second tablets were given on Yom Kippur. On Shavuos we got the Torah, 40 days later, on the 17^th of Tamuz, Moshe came down while we were worshipping the golden calf and broke the tablets. 40 days after that, he went up to beg forgiveness on Rosh Chodesh Elul and 40 days after that we were given the second tablets and were atoned for on Yom Kippur. That's the end and conclusion of Shavuos when the final Torah giving concluded. 120 days.

 Now this is not just externalities about that are unique about this holiday. There is a law is and even a common custom that for the entire week after Shavuos, many if not most people would bring their holiday sacrifices that could still be brought and that they didn't bring for whatever reason on the holiday itself. It's why until today we don't say tachanun in our morning prayers this week. Because the holiday on some level really is still continuing. We go to work. We drive. We tour. We make money. We wear shorts and a T-Shirt. Yet at the same time we would go to the Temple and bring our holiday sacrifice as if it was still chag? How does that work?

 Rav Shapiro explains that there is a difference between Shabbos and Yom Tov. Shabbos we are told is me'ein olam ha'bah-it's a small taste, 1/60^th, of what the World to Come experience will be like. It's another world. It's a world that follows this world. It's a different plane of existence. It's a world without work and toil. It's where we just bask in the glory of Hashem revealed. Yom Tov, on the other hand, is a taste of the Messianic period- yemos ha'Mashiach. That is the era that precedes the World to Come. When Mashiach comes, hopefully soon, the world will continue to function in the same way as it is today pretty much, we will just have a bais ha'mikdash. We will have world peace. We will have more opportunities to connect to Hashem and study Torah. We will have a king and the knowledge of Hashem's truth and light will be spread throughout the world as the world comes to bask in our glory as His chosen nation of priests and connectors for them to the Shechina. But everything else will be pretty much the same. Yom Tov is a taste of that experience. It's a day when we can cook, we can bake, when all travel to Jerusalem and celebrate there with song and music.

 That being the case, Shabbos is not really a day that we can shlep into this world. When Shabbos is over, it's over. We take strength and comfort in its memory. We eagerly await the next Shabbos when we can again leave this world and taste the next one. Yom Tov on the other hand has the ability to be pulled into this world. In fact, our job is to bring Yom Tov into the world and our lives that are otherwise chol- mundane and unspiritual. We should live every day with that sense of Messianic times. We are meant to await it eagerly and feel it here and now.

  How do we do that? By eating cheesecake. By tasting that flavor of Mashiach's times that we experienced over Yom Tov the day after, the week after, the next months after. Because Mashiach's time is not another existence. It's meant to be our lives with the knowledge of Hashem and His revelation in our day to day lives, today. In our eating, in our work, our planting, our growing, our reaping, our harvesting and our touring. When we taste that Yom Tov food after Yom Tov, when we bring that holiday sacrifice in our weekday clothing, then what we are saying is that we're really building the Temple now and here in this world we are living in. We are feeling Your presence in what still from the outside looks and feels like galus, but in fact it can still taste like yom tov we just left.

 The parsha that we read after Shavuos on most years, including this one, is Naso. It continues the count of the Jewish people. The word Naso, though doesn't just mean count. It means lift up. This whole count thing is very strange as most of the commentaries note. If Hashem knows how many Jews there are, then why make us go through the trouble of counting? By the tribe of Levi, whom are counted from the age of 30 days it's even more bizarre. Rashi tells us Moshe would just stand outside of the tent and a voice would come down from heaven and tell him how many babies were in each tent, so as not to disturb the mothers. What's the point? Seemingly Hashem knows how many there are, so why make him shlep and count them all.

 As well counting doesn't seem to be a very uplifting experience. You're one, you're two, you're three, you're 3264 and you're 599,748. It's like when you count for a minyan and we used to say not-one not-two, not- three, as they taught us that it's a bad omen to count Jews. Why is the Torah's word for this census described as Naso?

 (By the way someone told me this week that the new way of counting to ten for a minyan is no longer using the 10 words of the verse "Hoshiya es amecha…" or even the blessing of Ha'Motzi rather it is "1)Hashem 2)Yitbarach 3)tamid 4)ohev 5)oti  6)v'tamid 7) yi'yeh 8) li 9)rak 10)tov and then when you have more then ten you just continue and say od yoter tov and od yoter tov… cute!)

 The answer, like most Jewish questions, is that one question answers the other. Do you know when it's an uplifting experience to be counted? It's precisely when the counter knows and you know He knows the count already beforehand. Imagine you have a minyan and then the Rabbi goes over to every person after the davening and tells them. You are number one for our minyan today. You are number two. You are number three. Do you know why he's doing that? He's not counting the minyan. He's telling each person there how important they are and were for that minyan. How holy they are. They made the count. They brought down the Shechina. They're the ones that made and make the shul. If a father, who usually knows at least how many children he has- although he may not get all of their names straight, goes over to each of his children and tells them You're my first, and you're my second, and you're my third and counts them again and again. They all know that he knows how many children they are. What they see is that he sees them and counts them just to uplift them. To show them how important they are. To teach them that they all count. That the family is not complete without them.

 The parsha of Naso contains in it all types of Jews, the impure, the sinners, the wayward wives, and the Nazirs, as well as the priests and the princes of each tribe. Each Jew, at whatever different level. This is not the otherworldly nation of Hashem that stood on Sinai and whose neshomas left our bodies as we heard the word of Hashem. We saw sound and heard lights…and that for a brief moment tasted the World to Come. Tasted a world that's not here. That's beyond time and space, and calendar dates and even rituals and mitzvos. That's what matan torah was. It was a moment outside of this world. It actually even took place on Shabbos. It was Olam Habah, which is why we actually even left this world.

 Rather in our parsha post-Sinai and Shavuos, we find ourselves a nation that's living back in this world. That has desires that are some times misplaced. That sin, that fall, that fail, that have temptations that have to sometimes develop ways to rise up against them and keep them in check. The post-Shavuos reading is a cheesecake reading. It's taking that Yom Tov experience, the eating and drinking that we did on the holiday, and bringing it back so I can get uplifted in this world. So that I can taste Mashiach in a world with challenges and failures and sins. But understanding that we can rise up. That we count still. That we have a number. That we are uplifted.

 It's very cool that there is one other parsha in the Torah that has the root word Naso, to lift up or count, in its title. It's Parshas Ki Tisa. The parsha that contains the story of our nation from after Sinai through the debacle and sin of the Golden calf and that concludes on Yom Kippur when Hashem forgives us with the second tablets. It's the end of the 120 days that started with Shavuot. It's a parsha of yemos ha'mashiach; of a world that realizes us and our sins and tells us that we are still loved. We still count. We can still be uplifted. Do you know what the conclusion of that story and narrative is right after the golden calf in Ki Tisa? Get ready… It's cheesecake.

 Yup, right after that the Torah tells us of the mitzva to enter the land, to come three times a year and have holidays. I want to see your face. I want you to see Mine. Eat matza. Bring the first fruits on Shavuos and your first animals to Hashem. Work for six days and don't plow on Shabbos. Live in this world and enjoy this world and uplift it. It's Mashiach's times. And finally

 "Don't cook a goat in it's mother's milk".

 Eat cheesecake. Ok it doesn't really say eat cheesecake, but some of the commentaries explain that the reason why we eat cheesecake on Shavuos is because the Jews didn't have the ability or time to kosher their vessels and slaughter animals that first Shabbos when we got the Torah. Afterall we only became Jewish five minutes before. The only thing we could eat was milchigs. Cheesecake.

 According to others the reason why we eat cheesecake is because it’s the first time we ever really drank milk. See, since milk comes from a living animal and it's forbidden to eat anything from a living animal. The prohibition of eiver min ha'chai is a Noachide law they were prohibited in eating, drinking seemingly anything that came from an animal while it still breathed before it was killed or slaughtered. It's only after the Torah was given when Hashem revealed to us that milk was permitted. The Talmud actually derives that law from the pasuk that describes Eretz Yisrael as an Eretz zavas chalav u'dvash- a land that is flowing with milk and honey. Only then did we found out we could even drink milk! So they had cheesecake to celebrate! The last source for this delicious Shavuos staple to make this even more fun the Zohar writes that each one of the 365 days of the year corresponds to a corresponding negative commandment in the Torah. Guess which one the holiday of Shavuos is? Yup milk and meat. Goats and mother's milk. It's why we eat one flayshig meal and one milchig one, to show that we eat them separate. Cheesecake altars…

 Cheesecake and Shavuos are intertwined and baked together. Is there anything that you have better in your fridge right now then that leftover cheesecake? That's not cheesecake after Yom Tov, it's a taste of Mashiach. It's tying ourselves to that Sinai experience and bringing it into our real world. Our world of Sotahs, of impurity, of mistakes, of wars, of soldiers, of politicians, of Jews not yet living in Eretz Yisrael. It's saying I haven't koshered all my "keilim" yet. But yet, I still am uplifted. I still count. I'm heading to Yom Kippur. I'm bringing a cheesecake offering and building a temple within me.

 Naso concludes with the sacrifices of the dedication of the Mishkan by the nesi'im- the princes of each tribe. Did you hear that word? Nasi is Naso. It's the people whose job is to count the ones in their tribe and lift them up. They each bring an identical sacrifice on the outside and yet each one sees in it a unique meaning and message. How appropriate that they did that, as their job is as well to be the "Nasi" of each Jew in their tribe. To see them as one and yet at the same time to look beneath the surface and see each one's hidden spark. Their inner cheesecake. Their holiness of the days of Mashiach. That's how the Temple was inaugurated and the Shechina came down. That's how it will be again in this Messianic era we are entering and tasting. May our cheesecake offering merit us so that we may we as well very soon bring those real sacrifices as well.

 Have an delicious Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" Mit shnei ken men nit makhn gomolkhes.." .- You can’t make cheesecakes out of snow.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

20. Which sea does the Amud stream (Nahal Amud) flow into? ______

What is common to the types of springs we refer to as “Maayan Shekva” and “Maayan He’etek in

Hebrew?

A. Both derive from the point of contact between a permeable layer and an impermeable layer

B. Both are the result of a geological fracture which exposes the aquifer

C. Both are only found in the Dead Sea Rift Valley due to the Syrian-African Rift

D. Both flow only when the water level reaches a certain height in the

rock cavity

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCAXg6Qu4SA -  Benny Friedman and Joey Newcomb's latest colab… lively Freilach all the Time!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDINBV_N8t8   – Lipa and Jerusalme Choir Aliya La'Torah awesome…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MesGkUotmHI    - So excited Eitan Katz has a new album… Here's the teasers…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIVEyPHHb0w  – Gorgeous Shweky V'Seiaarev Yitz Waldner song really really nice…Watch out Rechnitz….

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

586 BC -Siege- With the last hope of Egypt coming to our rescue down the tubes, the Siege and famine on Jerusalem began to take hold. If you think Gaza looks bad… there was no one sending in humanitarian aid back then to us. In fact quite the opposite. The general Nevuzadran, who was ordered by Nevuchadnezzar to destroy the city, made sure that we would collapse. Not only was food not allowed in to the walled city of Yerushalayim, but he would daily roast animals outside of the walls increasing the hunger inside. Kind of like the BBQ's we make for our soldiers today.

Inside the walls as the Torah predicts in the curses we just read before Shavuos, parents started to kill their children and eat them. There is nothing more primordial then the need for food and the suffering of starvation. Story after story, family after family suffered from this brutal hunger. As well, one needs to understand that Jerusalem was where the besser mentchen lived. It was the upper class of Israel, and with the starvation and poverty their entire existence fell apart and they were not built or made for such conditions.

Nevuzadran himself, the Talmud tells us was nervous of his ability to conquer the city of Hashem. He was scared the nation would do teshuva and then he would suffer and lose like Sancherev before him did. He even made sure to kill and disturb anyone he thought would be davening. Yet, it seems he had nothing to fear. As the end of the three year siege approached he started to measure the walls of Jerusalem and he noticed that they were sinking each day down and down. This was sign from Hashem that the destruction was imminent. On the 9^th day of Tamuz the walls finally came tumbling down. The city was breached. Even then according to many they did not yet enter the city. It's why the fast day is on the 17^th of Tamuz rather than the 9^th day. Others suggest that they did in fact even enter on the 9^th, yet since by the second temple it took place on the 17^th and that was a day that had many tzoris like the golden calf, so the fast was pushed off until then.

With the walls breached the period of the three week massacre until the 9^th of Av begins. The era of the once glorious first temple of Shlomo Ha'Melech is almost over. Our first national exile is soon to begin. 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S CHEESECAKE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment. They are wanted for desertion

 

You know what they say about New York Cheesecake? If you can bake it there, you can bake it anywhere.

 

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me. We all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Scotch, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines, and a box of Godiva Chocolates.

You have no idea how amazingly good I feel.

 

What is a cheesecake’s favorite app? Insta-gram cracker

.

Every year I like to share my easy shmeezy best cheesecake recipe with only 4 ingredients. 1) keys 2) car 3) wallet 4) Bakery

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The answer to this week”s question is ?  Ok This was a very cheap one… See, the first part was easy. I know Nachal Amud purs into the Kinneret from up by Meron. Ive hiked it a bunch of times. It's nice. The second part thought threw me. I thought there were a few answers that were common to both springs. I went with the Geological one of C. But the truth is all the answers were correct. But I didn't know and don't remember them ever letting you give an all of the above choice. But hey… I'll take the hit and lets make it 50/50 So the score is.  Rabbi Schwartz 12.5 Ministry of Tourism 7.5 on this exam so far, which should me back in passing range.

Land Lovers- Parshat Pinchas 2023 5783

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

July 7^th 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 39 18^th of Tamuz 5783

 

Parshat Pinchas

Land Lovers

There was a palatable excitement in the city of Bialystok. The town was buzzing. Is it true? Can it be? The men were all called to the shul, and they put on their finest Holiday clothing. Some of them even went to the Mikva first. The ladies as well gathered although they knew that the chances were that there not going to be able to participate. It was just too exciting of a moment to miss. They wanted to be there to witness it. They brought their children who were let out of cheder early for the day to attend. It was a glorious day in the shtetl.

What was it that had gotten everyone so excited? What do you think it was? No… it wasn’t a great Rabbi that was coming to visit. Neither was it a siyum on shas or the opening of a new yeshiva in town. It wasn’t even a new kosher restaurant or Deli. It was far more spiritual and exciting than all of that. What had gotten the religious holy city so euphoric was that there was someone who had just come to town and with him was none other than a bottle of wine. Yup, wine.

But it wasn’t just yup-wine. It was wine from Eretz Yisrael. From the Holy Land. The place that they dreamed about. That they davened to one day see with their eyes. That they hoped and prayed that they would merit to be able to walk 4 amos on its holy earth. This wasn’t just wine. This was wine made from the fruits of the land that they thanked Hashem for each time they bentched after meals. That they had studied about and even gotten emotional about when they read the Torah reading of the spies who had brought them back to our nation that didn’t appreciate them. It was the fruits that Moshe wished and implored Hashem that he would one day be able to come into the Land of Israel and appreciate. They had the Terumot and Maasrot tithes removed from them. They were blessed, and tonight all that gathered were going to get a small taste of this piece of heaven that they had only dreamed of.

After reciting some Psalms and verses that relate to the land of Israel the gabbai in the shul distributed little shot glasses to everyone filled half way up with this holy elixir. They were handed out in order of chashivus; the prestige of the people in the Shul. The Rabbi got first, the Kohanim and Leviim followed. The Shochet, the Mohel, the Sofer all got a taste and then Reb Yankeleh, the senior member of the shul took his place on the Bima to get his little cup. His two grandsons helped him stand up to the podium and he stretched out his trembling hand to receive his wine. Suddenly, the unthinkable happened. As Reb Yankeleh started to recite the holy blessing with tears pouring down his face at the incredible privilege he was about to experience, his hands started to tremble and twitch from excitement and the glass fell out of his hand and fell and crashed to the floor. A hush of silence went through the shul. It was almost as if a Torah had god forbid fallen. No one knew what to say or do. And then…

Without so much as a blink of an eye this once frail old man bounded down off the Bima and got down on his hands and knees and started to lap up the wine from the floor. While he licked up the wine he sang again and again songs of Eretz Yisrael repeating “heiligeh vein… heligeh vein…” My Rebbi, Reb Yisrael Asia, who told me this story from his father who was a young man that was there in the shul and witnessed this sight, told me that it made an everlasting impression on his father.

“Azoy iz vi ah gemoligeh yid gi’felt vegen Eretz Yisrael-

That’s the way the old time Jews felt about Eretz Yisrael, “- he would repeatedly say. And what does that say for us today? How far have we fallen?

To be honest, I don’t know how much I’ve grown spiritually over the past years or over my entire life, to be really truthful. I was raised to be a frum Jew. I went to the right yeshivos. I was programmed to become the person I’ve become pretty much from the start. I don’t really know much of another way of life. Ashreinu Ma Tov Chelkeinu- I’m fortunate and blessed that I was born into the only real authentic religion, that has meaning, that has spirituality, that has great holidays; that has Shabbos and that has Chulent.

As well being born frum gives me plenty of intellectual stimulation. Torah learning is challenging, it’s exciting and it’s so so cool to be learning and studying works that are thousands of years old that my ancestors ‘horreved’ over for millennia and was given to Moshe on Sinai by the Master of the World. So, I don’t know how much credit I get for anything. I’ve been on an escalator going up and haven’t really had to climb on any stairs on the spiritual ladder.

Yet, there is one area that I think I can say I’ve grown and that is in my love and passion for Eretz Yisrael. When I studied here in Yeshiva, I remember asking my parents to send me all the great things that you can’t get here. Sour Pickles, Pastrami, American cheese, Ketchup, normal Tuna fish, you know, the important things in life. Even after moving here 13 years ago, there were still much that I missed in America, despite the fact pretty much all the above are now available here. But it was more of the other stuff that are the ease and convenience of being raised in a goyishe country where you don’t have to deal with Jews all the time. There’s customer service, the banks are not trying to rip you off and are happy for your business, Not everyone you deal with is gonna hit you with hidden fees. When your repairman tells you he’ll be there, he will. And on and on and on…

Well, you know what? That stuff doesn’t bother me anymore. I’ve grown. I love this country so much it’s like parts of the stuff that you may have about your spouse or your child that annoys you. But it doesn’t make a difference. You love them more than the world. Like the wine that fell on the dirty floor. It may be a little dusty…but its so holy and so special it tastes better than anything else out there. It’s ours. It’s Heilig. And I’m so lucky to be here and to experience everything.

In this week’s Torah portion of Pinchas as I reviewed the Parsha I kept finding this theme coming up again and again and again. It’s interesting that the parsha is titled Pinchas, as seemingly Pinchas is only really the first four verses or so of the Parsha. Yet, if we understand, as our sages tell us that Pinchas is also the soul of Eliyahu Ha’Navi whose job is to return the hearts of the sons to their fathers and to bring us to the land of Israel in the ingathering of the Exiles, then perhaps there is no title better for a parsha that seems to have a theme to it about the love of the Land.

See the story about Pinchas is really last week’s Portion. This week’s Pinchas connection and title are really just about telling us about his yichus. Where he comes from. And where all of us come from. Rashi tells us that although everyone was maligning him for his zealous actions, after-all his grandfather was Yisro who worshipped idols. He realized that his real identity is from his grandfather Aharon. He knew where he came from. His grandfather never made it to the land of Israel. He wasn’t able to bring the nation into Israel. Yet, Pinchas was going to make sure we made it here. We wouldn’t forget the passion of our ancestors. And being the soul of Eliyahu, that happens when he returns the children to their yichus; to the love and passion for Eretz Yisrael of their ancestors.

The parsha continues with another counting of the Jewish people in the wilderness. They don’t call this the Book of Numbers for nothing. Yet, if this is the final count before we enter the land, why not wait until the end of the Book? There’s still another war to be fought against Midyan which seems to be thrown in in next week’s parsha. Why not wait until Ma’asey when we recap all of the travels of the wilderness and then see how many are left? The answer is that this is not just about the count. It’s about returning the hearts to the father and filling it up with the love of Israel.

Take a look at some of the things it tells us about the count that are thrown in there. We have the reminder about Dasan and Aviram, our old friends who constantly tried to convince us not to go to Israel. Back in Egypt they were the last to leave. They headed up the complainers and they even joined Korach’s group and riled up everyone. Yet, the parsha tells us that it didn’t help them. They were trying to divide the children from their Father. Yet the pasuk tells us the children of Korach “never died”. They returned. They did Teshuva. And fascinatingly enough Reb Zalman Sorotzkin writes in his Oznayim L’Torah that they even received a portion in the land of Israel, despite the fact that they were Levi’im who are not entitled to a portion.  For the Talmud Yerushalmi writes that the children of Korach received the Israelite portions of their mother’s family who perished in the plague of Korach.

Do you know what made them turn back? Maybe the song that they sang and sing will give us a hint. We recite it in our daily prayers each Monday.

A song, a psalm of the sons of Korah. Hashem is great and very much praised, in the city of our God, the Mount of His Sanctuary. The fairest of branches, the joy of the entire earth- Mount Zion, by the north side, the city of a great king. God is in its palaces; He is known as a stronghold…

As we have heard, so have we seen in the city of the Lord of Hosts, in the city of our God; God shall establish it forever and ever…

We hoped, O Lord, for Your kindness in the midst of Your Temple. Mount Zion shall rejoice..

Encompass Zion and surround it, count its towers. Give heed to its walls, raise its palaces, in order that you may tell a later generation….

Did you notice all the bolded words? It’s Tzion. It’s Jerusalem. It’s the city of Hashem. It’s splendor. It’s beauty. It’s passing that passion down to the later generation.

The parsha continues with many other anomalies in this oddly placed counting. Each of them relate to parents, children and the land. We have Er and Onan that are mentioned who “died in the land of Canaan”. They were there. They lived and were born in the Holy Land. But they didn’t want to have generations there. They didn’t want to pass that love on. Thus they die in Canaan. But they’re descendants return. Not only do they return, but they are Mashiach’s line through Peretz and Zarach. It’s amazing. They will be returned through Rus, who marries the descendants of those who didn’t want to pass on that love and who even left the land entirely. Yet, they will come back from a Moabite woman who says ‘Your land is my land. Where you walk  I will walk. Your nation is my nation.’

It starts to get really fun though, when the counting and names start to include the women. See, the Torah is not a haymish Jewish magazine. It’s not only good with mentioning the women, but even sticks them in when they are seemingly unrelated. See, if this counting is for the army, then women don’t serve. If it’s for the inheritance of the land, then as well seemingly they shouldn’t be mentioned. True, the daughters of Tzlafchad will get a portion ultimately as we find out in the end of the Parsha, yet here they don’t know that yet. So why mention them by name. Why mention Search the daughter of Asher. Yes, she’s pretty old, at least 250 if not more, since she was living back when Yaakov was alive in Egypt. But still that doesn’t seem to be a reason to mention them here by the counting. As well we will see, that Yocheved is mentioned. Fascinatingly enough, when Moshe is born it doesn’t say her name. She’s just a Levite woman. Yet here she’s mentioned by name. Why?

The answer is because all these women share a love for the land. Serach is the one in Egypt that tells Yaakov that Yosef is alive. She is the one who sings for him to go into Exile. Yet, she is the one that tells the nation after 210 years of slavery and assimilation that the redeemer will come and when he comes he will use the words pakod yifkod- we will be counted. We will be redeemed. We will return to the Land. Yocheved was born in the gateways of the Jews coming to Egypt, yet she is the one that gives the Jewish women strength and saves the Jewish babies from Pharaoh. It’s not merely a Hatzala call. It’s that she comforts the children. She sings them lullabies of a better a day. A holy land. Of heiligeh wine…

And finally we have the 5 daughters of Tzlafchad. The Torah traces their yichus all the way back to their great grandfather Yosef. Their grandfather Menashe was born in exile. Their father never even saw the land. Whereas all the other tribes had heard stories from their parents of the holy land. Their roots were in the palace of Egypt. Their great-grandfather Yosef left when he was 17 years old and never went back. Yet, Yosef instilled in them of a love of Eretz Yisrael more than any other tribe. For the bones of Yosef were with them in the Midbar for forty years. That impacted them. That changed them. That inspired them to demand and request a portion, despite that there was no law on the books that they would be able to get one. But when you’re in love with something so much, everything is possible. And when you’re in love with the land of Hashem, then He will make sure that you will get it.

Imagine the scene of this week’s parsha. There are over a million or so people standing there on the banks of Moav looking into Israel across the Jordan River. That million people we are told are almost entirely women. There are no men ages 60-100 besides two. Kalev and Yehoshua who we are told are mentioned because they love the land. They stuck up for it. They get portions that nobody else from their graduating class got. All the other men died. They didn’t connect to the land. The women though, with that deeper spiritual longing. They understood that there was only one place where we should live. The Midrash even tells us that when Moshe sent the spies to the land Hashem told him Shelach Lecha Anashim- send for yourself men… The Midrash comments wryly that Hashem told Moshe that your mistake is that you sent men. If you would’ve sent women though who love are known to love the land, then the mission would’ve been successful. It is in the merit of the Nashim Tzidkinyaos. Those lullabies and longing for Israel that the Mama’s and Bubbeh’s instilled in us for Eretz Yisrael and redemption that we are coming home.

What is the reason for the women to be more passionate about the land then the men? Perhaps it’s as I learned in my pre-marriage chasan class because the man’s role is merely to feel incomplete without a woman who has been taken from his rib. He seeks her out to complete him. The women though are charged with not only finding her spouse, but by finding her place. The home she was removed from. The place where she belongs. See, men are pretty comfortable wherever you put us. We acclimate better. We were never displaced. Yet the woman at her very core is looking not just for her soulmate, but as well the place where the two of them can become Ish and Isha a man and wife; with the yud and hei letters from each of their names joining together to spell and build a home for Hashem.

Rashi notes that’s why each of the tribes mentioned have the yud and hei before them in this counting to symbolize the connection to our parents and the yichus and our job that we never forgot and that is at our core. Yet the Klei Yakar takes it a step further. He points out that the hei precedes each name while the yud follows it in the spelling- as in ‘Ha’Reuvein’i’, ‘Ha’Shimon’I’. This is strange because it should be the other way around as the name of Hashem has the yud before the hei. He answers the reason for this is because the ‘hei” is the letter at the end of the woman. It’s ishah. And in this counting, it is the woman’s letter that comes first. It’s their merit that we come to the land. It’s their connection that kept the spark alive. Eliyahu may returns the hearts of the fathers to the son, but the mothers are all good to go.

The Parsha goes on and on with Eretz Yisrael connections. Moshe passionately is told to look over at the beloved land, Yehoshua the lover of Eretz Yisrael is appointed to be the leader and we conclude with the sacrifices daily and holidays when we are all connected to Eretz Yisrael. Again it seems strange that the daily sacrifices are brought here. Not only have they been taught before in the Torah, but what do they have to do with the land, with our coming home?

There is a fascinating Midrash which says that nobody in Yerushalayim ever went to sleep with a sin. For the morning Tamid atones for the sins of the nighttime and the evening tamid sacrifice atones for all of the sins of the day. Rav Yisrael Chasida (the grandfather of Rav Margalit- rav of Karmiel) asks why is it only the people of Jerusalem that have that benefit? Isn’t the Tamid sacrifice for everyone? We all chip in. We all should be atoned for.

His answer is so powerful and amazing. He points out the famous rule of the Baal Shem Tov, that a person is found where his thoughts are. If one is thinking about America, then that’s where he really is. We daven towards Yerushalayim and that in fact puts us right there in the Temple. When the sages tell us that no one in Yerushalayim went to sleep with a sin. It doesn’t only mean one who is physically there. You can be in Lakewood, you can be in Bialystok, you can be in Auschwitz, in Spain, in Babylonia, but if your heart is in Yerushalayim, then you’re free of sin. You’ve arrived.

You maybe sitting at your Pesach Seder, you may be in your Sukka, you may be physically far away. But each holiday we read from the Torah Parshat Pinchas; the Parsha of the Love of the Land, the parsha of Eliyahu Ha’Navi. It’s the most read Parsha in the Torah. We read it and we remember that it only here where the real laws and experience of holidays are meant to be felt. It’s not in your fancy Sukka or Seder in a hotel in Cancun, in your palace in the Five Towns, or in your shtibel or yeshiva simchas beis Ha’Shoeiva in the Diaspora. It’s in your Musaf davening when your heart reads these verses of the sacrifices and you’re transported to Yerushalayim.

The Gaon of Vilna says the source and hint for the Rambam that there is a mitzva to wait for the redemption everyday is in fact from the Korban Tamid verses

Es Korbani Lachmi L’ishai reyach nichochi tishmeru- The daily bread fire sacrifice should be guarded.

The word Tishmeru- to guard, comes from the verse that the Torah says about Yaakov when Yosef told him his dreams.

V’aviv Shamar es Ha’davar- And his father waited and watched for the day that it would happen and be fulfilled. When we recite this daily sacrifice we as well long and await as our father did for the day when we will once again be returned to our land and bring that bread, that offering to Hashem

We’ve entered the three weeks of mourning for our Temple. It’s the time when we stop life as it is at varying degrees and realize that things aren’t right. It’s not the way it’s supposed to be. And it’s then that our hearts need to long more and more to come home. Even us that merit to live in Eretz Yisrael aren’t entirely home yet-although it’s the right address. The land is responding more and more to it’s people’s return. But it wants us all. Do we want it? Do we need it? It’s the questions we need to ponder. We need to pray for. It’s something that we’ve lost since the time of the ah moligeh yidden who once lived and breathed that dream. The dream of Yosef, the dream of our fathers and mothers. had. May Pinchas/ Eliyahu return us to them.

Have a memorable Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Di varemsteh bet is di mamas.”- The warmest bed is mother’s.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

29) Bat Shlomo, Meir Shfeya and Giv'at Ada are names related to which family?

The First Aliyah began, among other things, due to which riots?

A) The "Negev storms" (Kyiv Pogrom)

B) The Rhineland Massacres

C) The Khmelnitsky Massacre

D) The Cossack Riots

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/al-eileh-acapella  - It’s the three Weeks. Acapella time again… and start off your three weeks with my mournful Al Eileh Composition that hopefully we won’t have to sing this Tisha B’Av

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w_DaILfKRo    –Rabbi Klatzkows Al Eileh Acapella also hauntingly beautiful.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ozd01p9vuY    – Ari Goldwag’s BiYerushalayim so heartfelt

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

King Recap - 670 BC- After the quasi- righteous kings Yehoshafat and Ahab things turn downhill for the Jewish nation. On the one hand there is a continued peace between the Kingdom of Yisrael and Yehudah that was started between the two kingdoms in the times of Achav. It was that reason that Chazal tell us that he merited to rule so long despite being an idolator and having killed the prophets of Hashem. This is perhaps a remarkable and powerful message for our times. Hashem prefers peace amongst us and values that even more than adherence to the mitzvos and the worst sins… How mind-blowing is that? What does that have to say in how we should view our interactions with the secular governments of Israel? Food for thought…

 

Well that relationship strengthens when the Yehoram son of Yehoshafat marries Athalia, the daughter of Achav. thus making him brother-in-law of Yehoram the son of Achav. Two brother-in-laws with the same name. Achazaya takes over for him and he is influenced by his mother and things head downhill spiritually. When that happens, Hashem sends wars to wake us up. In the beginning He preforms miracles for us, but ultimately if we don’t repent the game is over.

 

So the first war we have is against Edom, our brother Esau in the south Negev area of Israel. The entire period since we entered the land Edom was subservient to Israel. They had 8 Kings before we got there and during the period of the shoftim. But Dovid Hamelech conquers them and appointed their governors and they behaved themselves and were subservient to us. Now things turned for the worse and they start to rebel. Yehoram, the King of Yehuda fights them and trounces them, but the underpinnings were there.

 

With that unsettlement and sense of the weakness on our part, the Philistines and Kushites attack us and Yehoram gets struck and is laid ill. Achazaya takes over the reign and he joins with Yehoram the son of Achav (his uncle) to fight against Syria in the North; the kingdom of Chazael who had been anointed by Elisha. The huge battle takes place by Ramot Gilead. This is today in the lower Golan Heights by the bottom of the Kinneret and Jordan River. It’s a place where many historic battles take place. And Yehoram and the Jews get trounced, Yehoram falls sick and Achazya comes up from Israel to visit him. All the cards are set. We haven’t done teshuva. Enter Elisha and it is time for Hashem’s revenge against the house of Achav and the evil of Yehuda to take place.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE GRANDPARENTS JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 

What does grandpa do when you tell him to change his hearing aid? He doesn't listen.

 

"My grandmother ate spaghetti everyday… Until she pasta-way

 

A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.

 

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60 years old... Now he's 97, and we have no idea where could he be.

 

My grandpa’s so cheap, when he dies, he’ll probably walk towards the light and turn it off

 

Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type. At least he told us to be positive..

 

I want to die like my grandpa did, in his sleep. Not screaming like the people in the back seat of his car

 

My late grandpa used to hate looking in the mirror. Humble man, terrible driver.

 

My grandpa is 95 years old and he doesn't even use glasses. He drinks straight from the bottle

 

Why do grandparents smile all the time? Because they can't hear a word you're saying!

What do you call a man sitting in hot water? Stew.

What do you call a man who is sitting in barely warm water? Luke.

 

60-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You’re in terrific shape. There`s nothing wrong with you. You have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"

The 60 year old responded, "Who said he was dead?"

The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"

The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."

The doctor couldn`t believe it. "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"

The 60 year old responded again, "Who said he was dead?"

The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"

The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."

The doctor said, "At 106 years old, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"

His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Who said he wanted to? His mother put on tremendous pressure.”

 

Five year old Emma was sitting on her grandfather David’s lap as he read her a bedtime story.  From time to time, Emma would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch David’s wrinkled cheek.  She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.  Finally Emma spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, darling," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, sweetheart," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, Emma observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

 

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?"

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

"What . .. . .. . You're coming empty handed?"

 

After 40 long years, my grandma has finally gotten my grandpa to stop biting his nails. She's hidden his teeth.

​

One Sunday, little Johnny's grandpa asks him a question, "Do you know what one eye said to the other eye?"

 "No, grandpa."

"It said, Between you and me, something smells."

 

“Back in the day,” a grandfather started to say, “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well.”

“But nowadays,” he continued, “Wherever you go, there are cameras.”

 

A grandfather who had serious hearing problems for a number of years went to the doctor to be fitted for a hearing aid that would return his hearing to 100%. The grandpa went back for further tests a month later and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

 

To which the elderly man replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”

 

Why do grandparents count pennies? They're the only ones who have the time.

Why are grandparents and grandchildren always close to each other? They both have a common enemy at the homefront who makes a fuss about eating sweets.

 

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The answer to this week”s question is A  - OK the rule is not to do this when I’m half asleep. I got this only half right, but embrarrisngly for the wrong reason. I mean I knew the first part of the answer that was easy. All of those settlements are connected to the Rothschild damily that funded the First aliya and built these agricultural settlements for the nation to come home. Bat Shlomo is named after his mother Betty the daughter of Shlomo Rothschild. It’s a play on the name Betty and also the fact that Shlomo Ha’Melechs Daughter lived in this region married to Avinadav fascinatingly enough- which means father is a philanthropist. How’s that for trivia! Meir Sheifya is the youth village next to Zichron named after his grandfather Meir Rothchild- Sheifya is just the name of the Arab village that was there. Givat Ada is named after his wife Adhelheid. So I got all of those right. I messed up because I answered the Chemilnsky massacres. I had meant Kishinev..Which is what I was thinking and would be correct. The problem was that wasn’t an option. The correct answer was the Sufot Ba’Negev which were the rebellions and pogroms that took place after The Tzar wass assassinated. They called it that title- which I didn’t even know- because of a verse in Isaiah that describes Mashiach coming after “storms in the South”.  So I probably would have gotten this wrong anyways. But really Chemilinsky revolution was in the 16 hundreds and had I had my coffee I would’ve known that for sure that was the wrong answer. So silly mistake. So once again half right one for me and the score now stands at 21.5 for Schwartz and 7.5 for Ministry of tourism on this exam so far.