Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Eureka!- Shavuot Edition 5779/ 2019


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
June 7th  2019 -Volume 9 Issue 35-4th of Sivan 5779

Shavuos / Bamidbar / Naso
Eureka!

It was a long day for Archimedes. He’d been trying to figure out the answer to this puzzle of Hiero from Syracuse- I don’t think that is Syracuse NY. See he was some Greek King who had a crown made out of pure gold for himself. He suspected though, that his crooked goldsmith replaced some of the gold with silver. How was he supposed to tell? They both weighed the same. Hmmmm. Well if you don’t have the answer to the question there’s nothing like a nice warm bath to help move those brain cells.

“Ahhhh… ah mechaya…” he said as water splashed out of the tub all over the floor as he got in. And then as he looked down on the floor at the growing puddle it hit him. A big proverbial lightbulb popped up over his head. EUREKA!! EUREKA!! So excited was he by this revelation- that the volume of water displaced must be equal to the volume of the part of his body he had submerged, that he ran through the streets saying the words Eureka again and again. I guess it became famous because he forgot to put on a towel out of pure excitement. For he understood that the solution to his puzzle was that being that gold is denser than silver all he had to do was immerse the crown in the water and see if it displaces as much as pure gold does. And thus the phrase Eureka!-which literally means “I found it” being screamed by a guy who seems to have lost his towel and his mind became part of the common lexicon.

Yeshiva guys don’t say eureka. We also do not forget our towels. In fact, I don’t know if anyone says eureka anymore. There are better words in the yeshivishe parlance though. ‘Moirahdik’ ‘Geshmak!’ ‘Mamash nit shayach!’ just to name a few.  They are the words you scream excitedly when you have an incredible epiphany, although I confess I have never had any about math equations. Not in a bath. Not in a Mikva. Math just isn’t my thing.

Now when studying Torah, that is a totally different story. I don’t know too many people that have studied for a few years who haven’t had one of those moments. Everyone that has learned a bit has one. Those click, boom or walla moments, as they say here in Israel, upon having some type of revelation are what gives all of the joy to learning. It’s an amazing feeling. The metaphorical light bulb isn’t a metaphor. Some little light bulb actually does pop up in your heart. Your spirit feels uplifted. What chasidim and kabbalah refer to as the ohr haganuz- the hidden light has been revealed. And the installation of that light within each of us is the holiday of Shavuos.

It is a strange holiday and perhaps one of the least celebrated by non-observant Jews. Even Lag Ba’omer and Tu B’Shvat are more celebrated my years of experience teaching in Sunday schools than Shavuot. Yet the day that commemorates are standing at Mt. Sinai and receiving the Torah is perhaps the most significant day in the history of the world. It is the world’s eternal eureka moment.
Perhaps one of the most fascinating aspects of the holiday is that in the Torah it is never mentioned as the day the Torah was given. It is the holiday of Shavuot- weeks, it is the holiday of Bikkurim- the first fruits offering, it is the chag hakatzir- the holiday of the cutting of the wheat. It is almost as if he Torah is purposefully is leaving the most significant aspect of the day hidden. Something that you need to discover, reveal, walla!-unveil. In addition, the date it falls out is also not told in the Torah. It is after counting 49 days from Pesach. Once again there is that build-up and surprise. Each day getting closer and closer until tadaaa we finish counting and then what? Badaboom badabing! Shavuot! Torah! Eureka!

 There are no external preparations for this day. No houses being cleaned. No Matzos being baked. No supermarkets being emptied out. There are no Sukkos being built and no lulav and esrog shuks opening up on a street near you. The goyim don’t even believe that it’s a real holiday when you tell them you want off from work. The yom tov is structured so that its entire revelation is one that needs to be discovered and revealed.

I’ll tell you another little secret about Shavuot as well.  Did you know that it is a day of judgement?  It is like Rosh Hashana. The New year when the world is judged? The Talmud tells us in Rosh Hashana that the fruits of the tree are judged on Rosh Hashana (Tu B’Shvat is when the year in regards to tithes starts). The Sh”La Hakodesh notes that since a man is compared to a tree. Each soul comes from that great tree of life that is from Gan Eden. Shavuos the day we received the Torah is the day that we are granted anew our spiritual connection to that tree. It is the day that we each are meant to find our own personal newness in the Torah we have been given. Pesach is the day that we were given our physical freedom, our bodies were formed. It is the time when the crops start to grow and sprout. Shavuos is when we were given our souls and when the Bikkurim- the newest fruits of that tree are finally ready to come to the Temple. When they have the ability to reveal that the entire world, the entire months of labor are all about revealing the godliness hidden inside of them

It is fascinating that our sages tell us that when the Torah was given each Jew upon hearing the word of Hashem directly from heaven had their soul pop out of their bodies. Poof! All gone. Then it was returned to them and the next commandment was given and poof! once again their souls left them. And then it was returned. Do you know why this happened- I mean besides that hearing the Almighty speak from heaven is a pretty powerful experience. It happened because the way that Torah is given and experienced should be like your soul popping out of your body and popping back in again. Boom! Mind-blowing literally. When you are studying Torah and all of a sudden you uncover a gem that you have been horuving over-been sweating and toiling over to understand, and all of a sudden that flash of lightning hits you and it opens up the heavens. You have just received the Torah again. Eureka! Something new has been revealed to the world and you were the one that revealed it.

Perhaps the greatest Eureka moment came when the first man was created. He looked around and saw an amazing world. It was perfect. It was Rosh Hashana. The entire physical world was created in all its glory and the spirit of Hashem hovered over the Garden. The tree of life was the center of that Garden and it was flourishing and blooming as all life flowed from it. But then Adam sinned. He was chucked out and two angels were sent to protect that tree. The tree of life will no longer be a stroll down the garden. Man will have to work for it. He will have to uncover it. It is the Torah that is our eitz hachayim, our tree of life. The new year of trees, the day that we can renew our connection with that Tree of Life is now Shavuot, the day we received our new Tree of life. Each year on Shavuos we get to experience once again that connection. That voice of Hashem beckoning us from Mt. Sinai to take our part in it. To experience its power to restore our souls to us. We stay up all night and study and in yeshivos before shacharis we would dance.

Ashreinu Ma Tov Chelkeynu.

How fortunate are we and how special is our lot. We don’t have to go to the bathhouse to figure out some meaningless math problem to achieve life, to get recharged. We go to the Bais Midrash. We crack open a book that has been studied by millions of our ancestors and we find our own little chiddush in it. Our own revelation. Our Eureka! And that light will join all of the other lights of all of our brothers and sisters throughout all generations, and it will light our way back to the Garden of Eden. The revelation of Hashem on this world once again.

Have a enlightening Shabbos and a Chag Shavuos Samayach,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“A sach mentshen zehen, nor vainik fun zai farshtai’en..” Many people see things but few understand them.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q A desert region is where the annual precipitation is:
A. Above 500 mm
B. 300-400 mm
C. 200-300 mm
D. Up to or less than 200 mm

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYz4Eb3f2Ro – Best Song Ever!! I Believe Rabbi Mordechai Dubin you will play this a hundred times and it will never leave your mind again!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnxDIBsE_Cw&list=PLJHqz-5HcHDNGWYeGMlO7e7uzWPxItm9B&index=51&t=0s   – Ani kovati et moshavi –Aron Razel I have established my place in the Beit Midrash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4eu4mgIn5I      –Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman English Shavuos composition beautiful!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNO4KbM29TE&list=PLJHqz-5HcHDNGWYeGMlO7e7uzWPxItm9B&index=38 – Asher Bachar Banu by Shmuli Ungar beautiful song for Shavuos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV29cmR2awU  – Shlomo Carlebach Lulei Torascha –arguably one of his holiest songs…

https://www.kikar.co.il/319677.html - An discovered Carlebach song Gal Einai sung by Zalman Shtuf


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Shavuos– Now I told you above math is not really my thing. But to be a lamdan some math is required. There’s a lot of cheshbon in lomdus; calculations. Things have to fit into place. Let’s start with an easy number one that we have been counting up to as we approach Shavuos. Then you can appreciate the lomdus which really should have made all of us pause.

See, we know that there are 49 days that we count from when we left Egypt the second night of Pesach until we received the Torah. Do we all agree on that? Well we’re all wrong. See do the math. The Jews left on Thursday. The first day of counting would then be Friday. That would make the 50th day Friday as well. The problem is that we know the Torah was given on Shabbos which would then make it on the 51st day. This is the problem the Magen Avraham raises, once you start lomdishly calculating the days. Now for those of you in the Diaspora that are keeping two days yom tov, you’re good to go. But we here in Israel that will be taking people on tours on Monday next week as Yom Tov will be over. How can we celebrate the giving of the Torah before it was actually given.

Now comes the fun. There is nothing like a lomdushe calculation dilemma that seems so basic to bring out the best of everyone. Since it’s Shavuos and you have added Torah time I’ll give you a few approaches. The Mogen Avraham himself suggests that it was supposed to be on the 50th day but since Moshe added another day it was switched to 51, but we do it on the original planned day. Not such a lomdushe answer. On a more spiritual plain the Maharsha suggests that the 50th day was the day that we had completed our elevation from Egypt and that an extra day was to commemorate our yirat chet like the 50th yovel year and that is the reason we celebrate on the 50th day despite it not being given until the 51st day. Again not such a lomdushe answer.

The Chok Yaakov is a little bit more lomdish but at the same time technical. He said that back then it was done on the 51st day because they didn’t establish the months according to the set pattern that we have it. And therefore it came out on the 51st. But today we always have it on the 50th day which is when the Torah was meant to be given. Again a bit technical and not easy to say that they did on the wrong day and we have it right. But all of this is really a build up to the chap the Chasam sofer brings from his Rebbi the Hafla’ah.

The Hafla’ah says that until they got the Torah their status was that of non-Jews. If that is the case, then non-jews count the day after the night. Unlike us that always have the evening before the day. Therefore he says, they were originally told to count the day after Pesach in the evening. For non Jews that would be the evening after the 2nd day of Pesach. Which would mean that if they left on Thursday then Friday is the day after and Friday night would be the first count. 50 days from that would thus be on Friday and the Torah would then be given on the 50th day of their count Shabbos which would in fact be the 51st day of leaving Egypt as they started counting a day late. Today however we count a day earlier than they did, we start the night after we left rather than two nights and thus the 50th day as well is celebrated as the giving of the Torah.

That’s what happens when math and lomdus meet. If you didn’t get the cheshbon just read it again and again. It works!

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Division of the Land –Tribe of Asher 1265 BC – So now we are getting closer to my neck of the woods. The Upper Galile and the Northern coastline of the tribe of Asher. Unlike the other tribes, Asher’s portion is really not that clear as it mostly lists cities and it seems to blend with some of the other tribes as well. The only clear thing is that it starts at the tip of Mt. Carmel near Chaifa and goes all the way North into Lebanon today to the cities of Tyre and Sidon.  Yep just as Jordan is illegally occupying our divinely granted portion of Israel the area of Reuvein and Gad in Jordan today, Lebanon is occupying the portion of the tribe of Asher.

The truth is the verse tells us later on in the book of Shoftim that Asher was not successful in conquering its portion or not. So seemingly they lived amongst other tribes and intermingled with them. This also explains the question that is discussed if Akko was part of the borders of Israel or not. It certainly seems to be within the borders as it runs u the coastline, but perhaps Asher never conquered it and thus it never had status of Israel. Until today the cemetery of Akko is located a few kms inland in the village of Kfar Yasif to make sure they have burial in Israel.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S  TERRIBLE JOKES OF THE WEEK

There once were 2 people: A and B.
A was always up and about while B was always dormant, staying put in his bathtub all day and night.
One day, A had a cold. When A was walking about a countless number of individuals insulted A and laughed at him. Unable to smell, A could not understand what he was doing wrong.
So, A went to visit B, the smartest man that he knew. As soon as A walked into B's house, B could tell what was wrong with A. Being polite, B refused to blatantly say that A smelt awful. Instead, he spent nearly a half hour asking questions like, "when did you last shower?" and, "have you lost your sense of smell?"
B then realized he was late to his third bath of the day, asked A to excuse him, and walking into the restroom to draw himself a bath. After B had laid down in the bath for a while, A got bored and wanted to leave.
Angered that he never got his answer, A called out to B and asked him why people were mad.
B responded:
"You-Reek-A

Sentences you have to read twice
"This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder."
"A man is washing his car with his son when the boy goes, 'Dad, can't we use a sponge?'"
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck."
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, 'uno, dos...' and poof. He disappears without a tres."
"Two satellites decide to get married. It wasn't much of a wedding, but boy was that reception amazing!"

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire."

"What did the buffalo dad say to his son as he left? Bison."

"An old woman fell in a well. She didn't see that well."

"An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks. The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'"
"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot."

A man walks into a bar and sees a bunch of people waiting to get refreshments. He asks the bartender, 'Is this really the punch line?'

Berel had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his wife Kayla had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?” he concluded. “What, dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. “I think you’re bad luck.”

Yankel, Feivel, and Ziedel find themselves at the pearly gates. The men walk up to the gate and the angel greets them and says, “You have made it to heaven, now all you have to do is pass the test to see what your fate will be.”
“What is the test?” they asked
The angel says, “You must walk through the room of ducks. If you are able to make it to the other side without stepping on a duck you will be paired with most beautiful woman in the world for all eternity.”
The men start rejoicing, but the angel stops them and warns, “BUT If you step on a duck you will be paired with the ugliest woman in the world for all eternity.”
 Yankel enters the room with confidence. He makes it only about half way and steps on a duck. The angel says, “You have failed. You will be paired with the ugliest woman in the world for all eternity.”
Berel says, “I can do this! Step aside.” He makes it almost all the way through, but unfortunately steps on a duck just short of victory. The angel says tells him, “You have failed. You will be paired with the second ugliest woman in the world for all eternity.”
 Zeidel is the last man and is hesitant to enter the room, but he eventually makes it all the way through without stepping on a single duck. The angel exclaims, “You have made it! You will be paired with the most beautiful woman in the world for all eternity!”
He is suddenly transported beside the woman. He turns to the woman and asks, “How did you get here?” She replies, “I don’t know, but I stepped on a duck.”
************
Answer is D–  This is pretty basic. Yes less than 200 mm a year is a midbar. In fact 60% of Israel is desert. The Negev is more than half of this country. By the way what does the word Negev mean? Dry. Because there is almost no rain that falls there. Tahta being said though when it does rain there are flash floods all over that are dangerous and roads need to be closed. Because there is no grass or trees like they have in the North where rain falls over 500 mm a year that absorbs it all. In the south it comes rushing down in torrents. So the score is Schwartz 24 and 6 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.

Friday, May 31, 2019

Namely Yours, - Parshat Bechokosai- Bamidbar 5779 / 2019


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
May 31st  2019 -Volume 9 Issue 34-26th of Iyar 5779

Parshat Bechukosai/Bamidbar
Namely Yours

“So what should we call you?” You have to love tours that start with that. Are you Rabbi Schwartz? Mr. Schwartz? Ephraim? Reb Ephraim? Tour guide? Efie? I dunno who came up with that last one. but I definitely am not an Efie. Now the truth is I’m really not a big stickler for names. I always tell them the old line, you can call me whatever you like, just not late for dinner. But really I’m not caught up too much on titles. I understand some people want to educate their children to have respect for a Rabbi, so they direct them to call me Rabbi Schwartz. Usually by the end of the tour though- they feel the need to explain to their children that I’m not a typical Rabbi. They shouldn’t expect the man with the beard that they will later meet in their lives pontificating to them from the pulpit to get into the water and start splashing them. Yeah maybe they shouldn’t of told their kids I’m a Rabbi.

On the other hand, there are those that want to not scare their kids that they are going on the boring-hear-the-Rabbi-drone on tour so they call me Ephraim. They also don’t want to explain to their children why they are splashing “the rabbi” back in the water. “Tour Guide” is a strange thing to call me. Usually it’s for the ones that can’t remember my name. They either forgot it from my introduction or were two busy texting on their smartphones while I introduced myself. Don’t get me wrong. I certainly believe a Tour guide is just as important of a job as those other titled positions where you refer to the person by his job like ‘Doctor_____’ ‘Judge____’, ‘Officer_____’ or even ‘President or Prime Minister _____’ . Too bad we can’t seem to figure out how to elect one here. Perhaps a tour guide is even more important. What do those guys do anyways. Do they know how to bring Jews to Israel, where the best kosher restaurants are or how to make 3000 years of history come alive? Who would you rather spend the day with?

So Tour Guide Schwartz would be an appropriate title. But the problem with that is that it would insinuate that there are other tour-guides in this country as well. I don’t want people to get that idea… It’s good for business if they believe I’m the only game in town. I get that from Bibi who seems to have convinced the country he’s the only one that could be Prime Minister and if they didn’t elect him then we’ll just try again.

Now it’s not only when I wear my tour guiding hat- y’know my signature Nefesh B’Nefesh one that is on my head more than my black borsalino is- that presents that dilemma. In my shul certainly most call me the Rav, or Reb Ephraim, although there are some that “slip” and call me Ephraim. It’s hard not to slip, I really am more of their best friend then their Rabbinic mentor, despite the fact that I answer their halachic questions and am the source of their appreciation of the parsha each week. But I do that more as the friend that wants to share and help them than as their Rabbi. Maybe they’re scared if they started calling me Rabbi then then they would have to start paying me a salary, or contributing more to the shul. The kids in the shul call me the lollipop Rabbi. They definitely want to make it clear what our relationship is all about. I give them lollipops and then they don’t disturb services or my drasha. I’m the lollipop Rabbi, they’re the kids we each know our roles and all is good.

With my own kids, I’ve always been Daddy. I did try to get them to call me Father Schwartz, just because I thought it sounded cool. But it never really took off. My grandson doesn’t really call me anything yet, but I will be a Zaiydie. Not Zaidy that rhymes with fraidy-cat but zaiydie with that hard ai in it like sly, high, fry or try. Zaiydi. That’s what my father’s father was called, It’s tradition. He was wise. He had a white beard. I respected him. That’s what I want. See it’s all in the name. Once I have it then I will get the respect, right? OK maybe I should stop stealing his stuff and hiding it while he crawls around trying to find it. That might help.

What’s with the names and titles this week. Well the truth is it is the first thing that jumped out at me when I opened up the chumash and started looking at the new book, we in Eretz Yisrael are beginning this week, the book of Bamidbar. (Don’t worry we will get to the Bechukosai tie-in for you chutznikim reading as well). See the sefer begins with the commandment to Moshe to count the Jewish people in the second year of leaving mitzrayim. Now we have been counted before and we will be counted again, yet for this particular the Torah tells us something fascinating.

Bamidbar (1:2) Take a census of the entire assembly of the children of Israel according to their families, according to their father’s house, by the number of the names.

Now this counting was different than the later count at the end of Bamidbar. Here each Jew is told to be counted according to the names. It wasn’t just a box that was checked how many members in your household. Rather each Jew had a name. It was personal. This is Yankel, this Moishie, this is Berel. Why later aren’t we obligated to count by the names? What happened, what changed?
We are coming up to Shavuos. Every year prior to Shavuos it is at this point in our Torah reading when we celebrate our becoming a nation and remember when we stood together at Sinai and received the Torah. It’s a good time to look back at the books we have read until now and understand the significance and story have studied until now. The Torah is not merely a book of stories or laws. It is our national mandate. It is the blueprint of what we are here for. What we are meant to accomplish and what our role will be in the world. Let’s take it from the beginning.

The book of Bereishis begins with the Creation of the World and Adam Harishon. The first job of Adam is to give names to everything. Each part of creation has a role and title. Its name will identify it and reveal its essence. Adam’s role is to find that name and direct creation to achieving its function. Adam fails. He sins. He is thrown out. The world will no longer function naturally. He will have to struggle with the sweat of his brow to get back to Eden. To bring the world back to its natural divinely revealed state.

The rest of the book is more and more distance. The flood, the tower of Bavel and even the Jewish family of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yakov being exiled to Egypt as far spiritually possible from Eden as one can get.

Shemos is the return of the names. Our exile in Egypt comes to and end and we are being brought back. We are heading home. We have build the tabernacle, house of Hashem, and we are heading back to create a world where Hashem’s divine presence will finally once again reside amongst us. In each and every one of us. The book concludes with Moshe standing outside the Ohel Moed, the tent of meeting. We are at the cusp of Israel, we are almost home.

Vayikra begins with that personal call to Moshe to enter. We are given the laws of how each action we do will have global spiritual significance. We will become close with Hashem. We do that with sacrifices, we do that with the holidays, we will do that in the last two portions with the laws of when we come back to the land; shemitta and Yovel. Everything is in place. Hashem in Bechokosia promises us if we walk in his ways than
Vi’hithalachti bsochichem- I will walk amongst you.

In case you had any doubts what this was all about, Rashi tells us
I will walk with you in Gan Eden, like one of you.

We have return to the Garden. The world will be perfect. Hashem is once again with us.

If on the other hand we don’t follow the mitzvos, the parsha cautions us. If we don’t follow the laws then it is as if we are walking casually with Hashem.The Torah repeats this phrase again and again. Do you know what a casual walk is? It is all the people you passed on the street this morning and you don’t know their name. You don’t care about their lives. You might have said boker tov to them. You may have nodded and smiled. If you are from New York you may not have bumped into them and knocked them down. But more likely you averted your eyes and focused on your cellphone as you sat on the subway next to them. That is casual. Hashem warns us that if our relationship with Him will be that, then we will be once again thrown out of “the garden”. The land will vomit us out. We will have failed.

The Book of Vayikra concludes with the strangely placed laws of Erechin, when one can promise the value of his self to Hashem, to the temple. There are lots of places where we talk about the laws of neder-vows. In Naso, in Matos and even earlier in Vayikra. Why conclude the book with these laws. But now you understand. The entire book is about my personal relationship with Hashem. I, Ephraim Schwartz, can recognize that I have divine significance. With my mere utterance I can proclaim my personal value to Hashem and it becomes holy. The book began with Hashem calling to Moshe by name and Moshe entering the tabernacle. It concludes with each Jew being given the power to take his name, his identity and state and sanctify it to Hashem. It’s us calling names to ourselves just like Adam did in Gan Eden to all of creation. We have reclaimed our role.

Which brings us to the perfect segue of Bamidbar. Hashem calls each Jew by name. he counts everyone. We are ready. We have arrived. In the words of the Seforno

“For at that time each one from that generation was considered by his name which reflected his personal elevated stature. Just as it says V’adayach Bashem- I will know you by Name.

Those words “I will know you by Name” was the words that Moshe asked Hashem to reveal to him. Here according to the Seforno, Hashem is telling Moshe if you want to know my name, it can be found among the name of every Jew you will count. I am one with them. We walk together in Gan Eden.

The Torah portion continues and tells you about that walking together in the wilderness. Each person surrounded the tabernacle. Each person had their own seat. Each seat could even be said had one of those little brass name tags on the back. We were the merkava-the chariot for the shechina. We would march that way into the land of Israel. At least we were supposed to. But we failed.

The debacle of the spies later on in the book, the Netziv explains, was the Jews saying it was too much. We can’t always be walking with You. We can’t always be in the palace of the King. We need a break. We can’t always be wearing our tour guide hat. What’s wrong with a little casual. And thus they weren’t allowed to enter the land. Even the ones that entered the land it wasn’t going to be Gan Eden. We would be thrown out again and again. We still don’t have our names and our proper title straight. We are still waiting for Hashem to come walk with us again.

This Sunday marks Yom Yerushalayim, it is 52 years since Hashem has returned the place where his Beis Hamikdash will once again stand to us. Are we ready to receive it? Are we ready to stand up and declare that each of us have a spiritual role that we need to reveal and take that walk with Hashem. Can we see that name of Hashem in our fellow yid? Can we help him or here find their Jewish name? 3300 years ago we stood on Har Sinai, ki’ish echad b’leiv echad- like one man with one heart. Each Jew said na’aseh v’nishma. We want it forever. So Reb____ or Rebbetzin____  or however you want me to call you dear reader, are you ready?
Have a whiz-bang spectacular Shabbos and Rosh Chodesh Sivan,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Nit kain groisser khokhem, nit kain klainer nar.” He’s no great sage and no small fool..

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q A road that was paved by the Gdud haAvoda:
A. Ramat Rachel – Bethlehem
B. Tiberias – Tzemaִh
C. Amiad – Farod
D. Ashdod – Be’er Sheba

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/yklc_FZINcI – New 8th Day- We all Belong- I like this song!

https://www.torahcafe.com/rabbi-moshe-bryski/the-hand-of-g-d-in-your-life-video_53ba00fd9.html   – Amazing shiur and story if you just want the great story start video at 50 min. trust me its worth it!


https://youtu.be/pkj7M-mQMh8 - Amazing historical Yom Yerushalayim clips

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEx_2r_hiSA  – Shlomo Carlebach on Yom Yerushalayim


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Bamidbar– The Lomdus is getting better and better as we approach matan torah- the day the Torah was given. This week I share with you a fantastic piece from the Chasam Sofer that is not only on the parsha but will get in the mode of Shavuos as well.

We begin the book of Bamidbar this week. And of course being the sefer- hapekudim-the book of Numbers- or more accurately counting, it begins with a count of the Jewish people. The torah tells us that they came to be counted and
Bamidbar (1:18) and they established their genealogy according to their families.

Rashi quoting the Midrash explains
“They brought their documents of lineage and witnesses to their status of their birth each and every one of them to trace their ancestry to the tribe that they were from.”
 The Medrash Yalkut Shimoni here tells us that when the Torah was given to the Jewish people the nations of the world complained that Hashem was favoring us over them by giving us the Torah. Hashem then shut their mouths when He told them that if they wanted it they should bring their lineage books as well as it says havu la’hashem mishpichos amim- let the nations bring to Hashem their families- their lineage books of their families.

The Chasam Sofer explains the claim of the non-Jews and this strange answer of Hashem of course lomdishly. The Talmud in Avoda Zara says that the nations will claim that it is not fair that we received the Torah. For we were forced to accept it. Hashem held the mountain over our head, the midrash tells us. If Hashem would’ve forced them as well they would have taken it too.

So the Chasam Sofer explains that we have to understand why it works if we were forced to take it. What type of acceptance is that? Why are the nations of the world wrong? He answers brilliantly that the Rambam notes that the law is if someone does not want to give a get-divorce document to his wife, the court can force him until he says “rotzeh ani”- I want. Then it is a valid get. The Rambam explains that despite the fact that this is done under coercion.

Rambam Laws of Divorce (2:20) Since he wants to be part of klal Yisrael, and he wants to do the mitzvos and distance himself from sins, just his evil inclination is attacking him, so since he is hit until his yetzer harah is weakened and he says he wants it is considered as if he divorced from will.  
 The Rambam is specific though as the lamdan will tell you that this works because “he wants to be part of klal Yisrael”. {In fact if you really wanted to push it you could say rotzeh ani means- that I want to be me. I want to get to my true essence”} This is something that works specifically for a Jew. Because we are descendants of the Patriarchs that wanted to fulfill the will of Hashem and we are carrying on that legacy. It doesn’t work for a non-Jew.

Aha! If that’s the case, then it makes sense what Hashem told the nations of the world. Bring your lineage. You are not descended from those that sacrificed for me. You don’t have that DNA of self-realization that the Jewish people and children of Israel have. Being forced to accept the Torah would not have worked. It would have been considered coerced. Only the Jewish people who can bring their lineage have that claim that rotzeh ani- is a revelation of their true essence. That is the magnificent answer of the Chasam Sofer. Aren’t you pumped to celebrate Shavuos!

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Division of the Land –Tribe of Yissachar and Zevulun 1265 BC – They are the two brothers that are forever joined. Zevulun we are told was the sailor and business man and Yissachar was the Torah scholars that were supported by Zevulun. Perhaps one of the biggest anomalies of the division of the land of the tribes, that most tourists get stuck on is the fact the portion of Zevulun which is in fact one of the smallest portions is landlocked on all sides. See the Torah tells us in the blessing of Yaakov that Zevulun will dwell on the shores of the seas- lachof yamim. The problem is he doesn’t. Many of the commentaries struggle with this. The Gaon of Vilna even goes so far to suggest that perhaps there was a river or stream that went from there portion out to the sea. Certainly it is not an easy topic.

Now both of the portions are located in the Lower Galile and Jezree’el Valley. Zevulun is NW of Yissachar and neighbors Asher and Naftali in the North and Menashe on the south. Yissachar as well neighbours Naftali in the North and Menashe in the South as well as the Jordan River on the East that borders Menashe on the other side of the Jordan. Now both of these portions are given together in the book of Yehoshua to them for Zevulun would half of his crops to Yissachar who didn’t plant that much as he was studying.

Interestingly enough today I would say the area of Yissachar which included the valley of Jezere’el, Mt. Tavor, Megiddo and Nazareth of today are one of the best agricultural areas in Israel. And it fact the blessing of Yaakov to Asher would be “and he saw rest for it was pleasant” and there’s nothing more pleasant then a nice beautiful valley to plant in. The cities of Zevulun, on the other hand that are mentioned we only have about 3 or four of them today that are named after them Nahalal, Beit Lechem (Haglilit-not to be confused with the other one by Jerusalem), Chanaton and Dobrat. Another interesting anomaly though is that the it seems that in Israel today the area between Akko and Haifa are called the valley of Zevulun- Emek Zevulun. Unfortunately that is not part of the tribe of Zevulun. Ah well, can’t get them all right.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S  JOB TITLE JOKE OF THE WEEK

These are all real Job Titles for companies what do you think you are qualified for?
1.  Talent Delivery Specialist – Recruitment Consultant.
2.  Snake Milker – Someone who milks snakes of their venom.
3.  Chick Sexer – Someone who determines the sex of chickens.
4.  Lab Rat – I would guess this means clinical trial volunteer…
5.  Animal Colourist – Someone who dyes animals for movies and marketing campaigns.
6.  Hair Boiler – Someone who boils animal hair until it curls (for use in a variety of products).
7. Retail Jedi – A Shop Assistant.
8. Wizard of Light Bulb Moments – A Marketing Director.
9. Wet Leisure Attendant – A Lifeguard.
10. Chief Everything Officer – They do everything… obviously.
11. Communications Ambassador – Who knows?
12. Colour Distribution Technician – A Painter and Decorator.
13. Happiness Advocate – Who knows?
14. Legal Bank Robber – Someone who tests how easy it is to penetrate bank security!
15. Second Tier Totalist – Who knows?
16. Teddy Bear Surgeon – Someone who’ll stitch Snuggles up for you.
17. Champagne Tester – Sign me up – right now!
18. Water Slide Tester – Amazing.
19. Rollercoaster Tester – Dream job for the adrenaline junkie!
20. Ice Rink Hand-Holder – I love this idea – I could certainly do with a helping hand.
21. Professional Sleeper – Sound like your cup of tea? For more details, click here!
22 Head of Potatoes – Who knows?
23 Marker of the Swans – Someone who, quite literally, marks all of the swans.
24. Chief Inspiration Officer – To encourage ‘belief in the company’ and ‘internal evangelism of its values.’
25. Chocolate Taster – The best job in the world.
26. Beverage Dissemination Officer – A Bartender.
27. Cheese Sprayer – Someone who sprays cheese or butter by hand on popcorn.
28. Chief Biscuit Dunker – Who knows?
29. Teen Exorcist – Creepy…
30. In-house Philosopher – Who knows?
31. Crayon Evangelist – A Graphic Designer.
32. Genius – A Sales Assistants at Apple.
33. Fake mourner – Someone who cries for you at a funeral.
34. Cat Behaviour Consultant – Who knows?
35. Pet Food Taster – YUM. What a life.
36. Corporate Magician – A Trade Show Magician.
37. Oyster Floater – Someone who floats oysters in water until they are free of impurities.
38. Toilet Sniffer – I would guess this is something to do with making sure toilets don’t smell?
39. Hairapist – Cari, I’ve had a fab idea, why don’t you mingle the words Hair and Therapist!
40. Professional Snuggler – Would you want to snuggle this guy..?
41. Professional Liar – Good job we know how to lie detect then…
42. Face Feeler – Who knows?
43. Bike Fishermen – People who fish bicycles out of canals.
44. Airport Scarecrow – Who knows?

Marty Cohen was coming back from his nephew’s bar mitzvah party where he may have had a few too many l’chaims and he rear-ended the car in front of him. Being that he was a lawyer, Marty got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said, "Boy, are you in trouble! I'm a lawyer!"
The driver looked out his window and said, "I’m not so sure about that. I'm a judge."

Yankel and Moishe were applying for the same job. The boss said, "Boys, you need to take a test before you can get this job."
So they took the test and the next day they came back to see who the boss chose. "Well, he said, "Both of you got the same score except I'm going to choose the Yankel."
Berel complained, "Don't you think that's unfair?"
"Well," the boss said, "Let me tell you what happened. Both of your papers were right all the way through until the last question came up, and he answered, "I don't know," and then when I looked at your paper, you answered, "Me either!"

 On his way to work one morning, Nathan arrives at Penn station a bit early. While he's waiting for his train, he notices a new machine on the platform - the sign on it says it's a state-of-the-art talking weighing machine. So Nathan stands on it, puts in a $1 bill and the machine says, "You weigh 160 pounds and you are Jewish."
Nathan can't believe what he's just heard. So he gets on it again and inserts another $1 bill. "You weigh 160 pounds, you are Jewish and you're waiting for the 7:35am train to take you to your job at the Bank."
He is totally shocked, but he's determined to beat the machine. He goes into the mens room, ruffles up his hair, puts on a pair of dark sunglasses, removes his tie, takes off his jacket and drapes it over his arm, and puts a first aid plaster on his chin. He then goes back outside, steps on the machine and puts in another $1. The machine instantly says, "You're still Jewish and weigh 160 pounds. You're also a shlimazel, you just missed your train."

************
Answer is B–  I got this one right too! I actually think I had this on one of the other exams I took on this E-Mail a few years ago. (actually I just checked and it was last year parshat Behaloscha). I was pretty sure I remembered the right answere but I also figured it out and guessed, based on the fact that that I knew that much of the gedud avoda in the 1920’2 was based in lower galilee Tiverya area where the tzemach Tiverya road runs. That was the area that the chalutzim-early pioneers and kibbutzim were where they lived. In fact Tzemach Tiverya road was the first to be done by Jewish labor- not that they had a clue what they were doing, they were just so excited they got the job. It was connected to the establishment of the hydro-electric plant in Gesher and the completion of the Rakevet Ha’Emek. So it is pretty important. So it’s good to review  on these exams. But I got it Right and the the score is Schwartz 23 and 6 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.