Karmiel

Karmiel
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Showing posts with label Yom Yerushalayim. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yom Yerushalayim. Show all posts

Friday, May 15, 2026

Sharing the Born-den- Parshat Bamidbar 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

May 15th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 29 28th of Iyar 5786

 

Parshat Bamidbar

(Amazing newest and latest Edition for you guys… After years of making me crazy… I'm delighted to share with you each week a PRINTABLE LINK!  For the Dvar Torah or whatever you wanna call this portion of the Weekly E-Mail for your Shabbos table…

Thank you Amit Landau for putting this together for me…

CLICK HERE BELOW FOR PRINT EDITION

Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Bamidbar )

 Sharing the Born-den

 

Let's put aside all of the politics for a second. I know in Israel, that's a very hard ask. Politics here is like air and water. It's everything. I love those people, like my wife, who "turn it all off" and claim to have no clue about anything that's going on. But it doesn't work. At the end of the day, it's all over the place. The signs on the street, the talk in shul, the bais midrash, the Mikva and the makolet. Who's running for office? Who are you voting for? None of them are worth anything. This guy's not good. That one's a phony. This party sold us out. They're just interested in their money, their limo, their chauffer, their cigars. It's all about power. Looks like we're heading back to that balagan again soon. So get ready. Here comes the new catchy jingles for each party. I'm not looking forward to this. Where are my earplugs?

 

But before we start this whole cycle again, let's put it all aside for a moment, because I want to talk about something first. It's a burning hot issue. It's, I believe the core of everything. It's something I learned at my Sheva Brachos, by a great speech given by a friend of inlaws. He told me that the most important thing to know to have a happy successful marriage comes down to two words. If you learn them, you're good to go. If you don't, then you're going to have a very hard time. What are the two words? "You're right". She's always right. Even if she's wrong, remember… She's still right. It's a good wife, he told me, that let's her husband think he's right every once in a while. But tachlis, if you want to be happy, just remember, she's always right. It will make things a lot easier, if you can swallow that.

 

On that note, I want to use that concept when it comes to politics here. To all the different opinions and ideas. It's a way of preparing ourselves for what's to come. It's good for us to see things from the other side. So I want to talk specifically about one issue. The issue of the army. The issue of the draft. The idea that we all have to serve. Not just sit in the Bais Midrash and claim to be learning to protect our soldiers. But really take a gun, put on the uniform and kill these guys. That-here comes the hard part to swallow, that unless we do that, we're not really "sharing the burden".

 

That's really the point, I want us to focus on. To swallow. To hear. To absorb and internalize. No matter how much tehillim we say, how much Torah we learn, how many tefillos we recite, at the end of the day, it's not our son on the front line. It's not my child that's facing an army of terrorists, where soldiers are getting targeted and injured each day. It's not my husband, my father, my brother who may chas ve'shalom never come back home again. Whose empty bed or seat by the Shabbos table is a stark reminder of the danger that he's in. Of the fear and sleeplessness that I will never see them there and they will never fill them again. We're not sharing that burden, that the ones that are serving are experiencing and sacrificing for. In the same way, that all of us that didn't have a child being held hostage in Gaza, could possibly ever share that burden those family members were suffering through, because ultimately it wasn't really our own flesh and blood skin in the game, that they had.

 

Now there's no need to respond. To defend. To answer. To justify. And certainly not to attack. It doesn't work in marriage. You know that. It won't work here either. That's not to say there aren't legitimate responses or even alternate perspectives. There are in marriage and there certainly are here in politics and on this hot button issue. But, as I said, I want to put all of that aside. Let's just focus on what they're right about. What we're wrong about. What they're going through, that we're not. That at the end of the day, we're not really sharing that overwhelming, incomprehensible burden. We're not alleviating it any real or meaningful way. It's heavy. It's hard. It's scary and it's painful. They're right. We need to truly feel that and internalize that lacking of ours. Only after we do that, do I believe that conversation and the politics should begin. But it all has to start with that foundation. They're right.

 

Why do I say this, on this particular week? Because, that's really what the parshat Ha'Shavuah this week-the parsha that we are meant to read each year before Shavuos, the one that opens up the book of our journey to Israel, that describes our process of coming home and the struggles we need to overcome is all about. Welcome to Sefer Bamidbar; the book of the wilderness.  

 

To be honest, what I'm going to share with you is an idea that I've never really seen before or even thought about. It jumped out at me this year. It called me. It's the essence of the parsha that I believe most of us kind of gloss over. To be honest, it's quite boring. Yet, to a large degree it's the essence of everything. It's the key to understanding what everything is all about.

 

The center of this introduction that carries over three aliyos in this parsha that opens up the book, is the story of the redemption of the first-borns and the exchange that is done in their counting, with money being handed over to the Kohanim for the redemption. There are 22,000 plus that are redeemed and exchanged for the Levi'im who will fill their places, and the additional 273 who had to be redeemed for money. 5 shek a head, which equals 20 geira of silver. Are you falling asleep yet? Boring, right? Except that what I just told you right now in those two sentences are in fact the greatest and perhaps most tragic social engineering calamity that we've ever faced. It's what galus is all about. It's how Hashem wants us to understand what our purpose is. And perhaps if we truly grasp this it's how we might even be able to avoid elections and actually ourselves be redeemed. Are you ready? Hold on to your hats…

 

Why were the Bechorim, the first-born, being redeemed? What's this strange mitzva that introduces our book all about. So, as we all know, and Rashi tells us, it's because they were the ones that were primarily responsible for the sin of the Golden Calf. Which non-incidentally happened right after the upcoming holiday of Shavuos. We're reading this now and each year, to learn from our mistakes and have a meaningful Shavuos this year, that lasts eternally. It's about fixing the sin of the Golden Calf, and not making that same mistake again.

 

Now, the truth is what's really the aftermath of that story. If one wanted to look on the bright side, as many of our commentaries do, one can say it really wasn't such a bad thing. We got Yom Kippur out of the deal. We got the second giving of the Torah, on that Yom Kippur. The second Torah we received although it was different than the first, as it wasn't hand-written by Hashem and wasn't as fancy, but it shared with us the ability to redeem ourselves. To partner with Hashem. To have all of Torah She'baal peh- the oral tradition that we are meant to study, learn, and reveal. That's awesome. That's cool. That's really what has held us for thousands of years. So in the end, it really wasn't such a bad thing.

 

Sure, there's the idea that Hashem always brings a bit of that sin of the golden calf along with every punishment he gives us throughout the generation. But really, let's be honest. We don't even know what that means? What, it's like a little extra salt that He's pouring on our wounds? That even in itself doesn't sound so so bad. It's like He's slicing us up for surgery we need anyways, so He snips another few things along the way, just as payback for that old sin of the calf? What is that really all about? Either forgive us, or punish us. Shouldn't He stop holding a 3000-year-old passive aggressive grudge?

 

See, if that's the way we're looking at it, which in truth is the way I always did, then we're missing the boat. We haven't really grasped what this parsha is telling us, that happened. And to be honest, it's very likely the reason, we still haven't really reached the point of being redeemed ourselves. It's why we're still wandering in the Midbar.

 

What we really lost with sin of the Eigel, was in fact the first-born doing the avoda and service in the Temple. We don't really appreciate, how huuuge of a difference this really is. We're kind of happy with Kohanim doing the service for us. With Levi'im serving them. With perhaps ourselves not even serving in the army today. We come a few times a year and bring them our gifts. We make barbeques for them. We look at the money we pay them to redeem ourselves from this service, almost like paying off the guy at the draft authority, so that we don't have to serve in the army. We're patur. We're redeemed. He's doing the dirty… I mean holy work… and I can live my life regular. I can live in Chutz La'aretz and send duffle bags during war, without having to actually live in that intense crazy war torn country with a bunch of rude Israelis without any meat boards.

 

That my friends, is the tragedy of the sin of the Golden Calf that we're still suffering from. What was the sin? The sin really started on Shavuos when Hashem revealed and gave us the Torah. After the first two commandments we told Moshe, it's too much. It's too intense. We need a break. We need an intermediary. You be our man. We'll take it from you. The first-borns then sat down to eat and drink. According to the Talmud and the commentaries, it was either them or Nadav and Avihu and the Zekeinim, that Hashem at the time didn't send His hand against that Shavuos morning. They experienced a revelation that no one else did. They saw Hashem face to face. They became prophets. They were charged with revealing that to the rest of Israel. They took that role and ate and drank it in to themselves. It became them.

 

That sin, ultimately led to the sin of the calf. We wanted to experience Hashem, but not up close. Not face to face. Not in my home. Not in my garden. Just when I want to come and visit Him. When I'm in the mood to hang out together with Him. This could work, if I had Moshe around. Once we thought we don't have Moshe and that he's not coming back from the top of the Mountain, then we needed a replacement. The First-borns needed one. They started the golden calf campaign. Their response wasn't that we will fill that role. We will lift you all up and connect you to Hashem. We will be the First-borns He redeemed when we left Egypt and connect you to our Father. Instead, they came up with the Golden Calf. A fake intermediary. One that tells and reinforces the concept, that we cannot have a personal connection with Hashem.

 

The First- Borns lost it at that moment. Nadav and Avihu, our sages tell us as well we're killed for that same sin. Even the sages that didn't fill that role, we're later killed in parshat Ba'ha'aloscha by Tav'eira. A fire came down and swallowed them up in the mysterious story of the Mis'oninim- the complainers. The Meshech Chochma tells us that the story of their complaining then was specifically about this redemption of the first-borns that took place. About the social engineering that I mentioned that transformed the face of Klal Yisrael until today. That to a large degree the most significant and ultimate "punishment", tikkun and reminder that we are left with from the sin of the golden calf. It's what Hashem reminds us of in every punishment that is meted out against us throughout all generations. That our problems all started from here. That we don't have a first-born. That our Father is not living with us in the house.

 

What's the difference if I have a first-born doing the service and it being redeemed into the hands of the Kohanim and Levi'im? The difference is having your son in the Mikdash and having a representative there from outside of your family doing it for you. It's the difference between your son serving in the army and someone else's random soldier fighting the fight and putting his life on the line for you. When each family had someone there in the Mikdash, can you imagine what that house looked like. Each of us felt, we had the most personal connection with Hashem. He didn't just count us as the beginning of the book tells us, but rather he took someone from my house that will be in His presence all day every day. That means, I'm there. I'm in front of Hashem. My family is there. That's as real as it gets. That's really the way it's supposed to be. That's what the role of the first-born is meant to be for each of us.

 

When we lost that, because they weren't ready for that role, then we lost our personal connection. From now on since then, we just have someone else there for us. We're not really sharing the not just the burden, but the real personal knowledge and connection with Hashem that we're meant to. We're in chutz la'aretz, in America, in Lakewood while their living in Israel. We're camped surrounding the Mishkan with our pretty little flags, as our parsha tells us right before this narrative, but the Levi'im are sitting right there in the middle up front and center around the Temple.

 

What makes this even more amazing, in terms of understanding the narrative of the Torah of the parsha, the Meshech Chochma again notes, that it's why the parsha begins telling us of the generations of Moshe and Aharon and then just tells us about the children of Aharon, and not Moshes. As well it tells us that Nadav and Avihu die, which seemingly we should know already as we mentioned this quite a few times before in the last book. However with this understanding of what the function of this story is, it really is amazing.

 

For if we understand the reason, the first-born and all of a klal Yisrael were given for why we lost this role and privilege, is because of the Golden Calf, then there seems to be a problem. Why does Aharon get it!? He was the man that built that calf. Why his kids? Thus the Torah tells us that Aharon paid the price. His two sons were killed. He lives each day with that loss. With that mistake that they made. With that mistake they tried to fix by going in on their own to see Hashem. They didn't understand that the only way to see Hashem now was through the Torah that Moshe taught them. It's only through him that we can get the nevuah. It's from taking his kedusha and light and drawing from there. Aharon and his mourning family are charged with the new job of the first-borns because they live with that loss and memory every day.  

 

As well, that same price is paid by the zekeinim by Tave'ira. They complained. They wanted their role back. They didn't feel that the Jews can't have their personal connection. It wasn't fair. Why Aharon? Why his children? Why the Kohanim? And thus, a fire came out, just like it did by Korach who also had that same claim, and burnt them up. Fascinatingly enough, right after that story, just like by Har Sinai, the Jews eat and drink and complain about the quality of the food. It becomes Kivrot Ha'Taiva. It's almost a repeat of that Sinai experience. After that story Moshe himself, complains that he can't handle it all, and there Hashem tells him that He will take the spirit from Moshe and transfer it to the 70 sages. The word interestingly enough there is

 

va'yatzel min ha'ruach asher alov-  And He set aside from the spirit that was upon him.

 

It is that same word of "vi'el atzilei bnai Yisrael", that is used be the ones by Sinai that saw Hashem. There it is translated as the strong ones, or the nobles. Yet literally it means the "eitzel"s- the ones that are on the side. The ones that are meant to draw their kedusha and spiritual connection to Hashem. The Levi and Kohen are only there not for themselves. Not for their taiyva, not for the food, not even to see Hashem and for their own closeness. Their job is to bring the light that starts with Moshe and transfer it to Bnai Yisrael. To be their brothers. To remind them, that Hashem is close to them. That He wants to be with them. They are bridges. They are the family members of ours, that bless us every day, so we feel Hashem is with us. Because they are there for us.

 

So how do we fix this? What is the punishment or better yet, the tikkun of the pidyon bechor, his redemption that we need to do? It's incredible. Every family has to bring his first born to the Kohen and give him 5 shekel. Rashi tells us that the amount of 5 Shekel is 20 silver coins which the amount that we sold Yosef who was meant to be our firstborn of Rochel for. When we sold Yosef, we decided that he wasn't going to be our representative. He can't rule over us. We don't need a representative. We can all have our place without him. He's the shor, the ox. We can make our calf. So we sold him for 5 shekel/ 20 silver coins and gave up our bechor. Our birthright and with that we went down to galus to be redeemed and get that back again.

 

Since we left for all times whenever the first son is born in every family we have to remember this. We have to say we're giving up our money for our son. We're not just removing ourselves from this job, from this representative position that we lost and paying off someone to do that for us. Every Jewish family will from then on have someone in our family, that always sits at the table, who lives with the knowledge that he was supposed to be our man in the Mishkan. In the Temple. We each have our kohen here with us, who's not working. He's not fired. In fact, the halacha of a bechor is that if one switches it for another animal, they both remain holy. The switch doesn't really work! Each Jewish family, thus virtually has a "soldier" in their house, who is wounded… who can't physically join the army… but he's longing and reminding us each day. That he wants to be there. That one day, he will be back there again. Because we need to know, that a golden calf doesn't work, an outsider who's just doing the job for me isn't enough.

 

Ritzoneinu li'ros malkeinu- We want Hashem in our midst. We want to see our king. Our Father. We want him in our Home. We want to live there with Him.

 

Today is Yom Yerushalayim. It's when after 2000 years of exile, Hashem brought us to the place we've claimed to be longing for, that we've claimed to be dreaming of coming to. That we've davened three times a day to be worthy of being the generation that will see it in our hands. Except, that we didn't say those words then and there. Motta Gur, left the Har Ha'Bayis and came down to the Kotel and recited those words "Har Ha'Bayit Bi'yadeinu" there on the bottom. He decided, as we did until today, that it's too much for us. We're happy here on the bottom. We're not yet worthy. We have a wall instead.

 

We have our words of prayer which are meant to serve in place of sacrifices, but they're not really flayshigs. We have our Torah, our Bais Medrash, our beautiful shuls in America, in London, in Karmiel, in Bnai Brak and even in the new city of Yerushalayim. We have our surrogate bechor, kohanim blessing us instead. We have other people's children serving for us in the army. We're not sharing the burden. We don't want the burden. We don't want the ohl- the yoke, and what we're really saying is that we don't really want the al- the above. The ladder from Hashem to come down to our house. To be with us. Always.

 

Fifty nine years ago today, Hashem put those words in the mouth of Motta Gur. He wanted us to know that the Temple Mount is truly in our hands. We just need to stretch them out and grab them. It's hard to take something in your hands when their full of other things. When you've got meatboards, when you've got fancy houses in galus, when you even have Torah and Mitzvos and Kollels and chesed even here in Israel. When, like those first-borns at Har Sinai you're eating and drinking, when like Nadav and Avihu you've had a bit too much wine, when like the zekeinim by kivros ha'taiva you're worried about your next meal. If your hands are full, you can't grasp the Temple Mount. If we forget Yerushalayim, then what we're saying is we've forgotten what the purpose of our right hand is for. It's to grab the Bais Ha'Mikdash. It's to bring down Mashiach. It's put aside the politics. It's to finally come home.

 

 Have a Chodesh Tov, a blessed Shabbos and a miraculous Yom Yerushalayim!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

  

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

"A hun iz gut tsu esn zalbenand - ich un di hun "– A chicken dinner is best when shared by two - me and the chicken.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

32. What event, other than the Last Supper, took place according to Christian tradition at the same site___________?


Which of the following Christian denominations has a part in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre according to the Status Quo? 

A. Benedictines

B. Protestants

C. Syrians

D. Nestorians


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vatem   – Dreaming of the Geula? Here's my wings of Eagle composition with the promise Hashem gave us on Shavuot! Dovid Lowy on the arrangements and vocals!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lecha-amar-my-versioon   -  Do you really want to see the face of Hashem… always…? Are you ready? Well this special compostion of mine will certainly elicit that longing. Es Panecha, composed right before this three year war started… Powerful!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro2R8xVJHE4   - Did you Hallel this morning? If not here's the one and only Shlomo Katz's musical Hallel this morning…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU0H1t7oTOM – TYH's latest release.. sure to make you crazy. Hashem Echad Hashem is one!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNGH6E7-pFQ&list=RDGNGH6E7-pFQ&start_radio=1 – And of course in honor of  Yom Yerushalayim- the ultimate classic Miami Boys Yerushalayim…


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


Signs of Redemption- 351 BC-  So last week, we discussed Chagai's prophecy to the Jewish people that the time was right with Darius's declaration to return finally to Israel and rebuild the Temple. The Jews as we noted, didn't take that well sitting back in their comfortable shtibels in Bavel. They ahd their houses, their meat-boards and more importantly their yeshivos, their Torah and even incredible peace with this new Post- Haman and Achashveirosh Jewish-ish King who was the son of Esther.

 

They thus claimed it wasn't time for redemption yet, because  there weren't miracles really. The nations of the world will complain. You see even the starting of the Mikdash was halted. Shomronim don't let. Why have another false-start and hope come crashing down? We're better of spiritually and materially here. When Hashem really wants us he'll send wings of eagles and men with white beards on donkeys to call us. Sound familiar?

 

Chaggai thus responds to them, then and to us now with the rebuke and answer of Hashem. He tells them, that first of the sign the geula is that when they plant a lot it will start to grow and produce a lot. The land has been desolate. And whadaya know… even though we've returned it's still not growing. This doesn't make sense. The answer is because we're not building the Mikdash. Even the things we're bringing in our homes is getting ruined. Why? No Mikdash. Our clothing are not keeping us warm at night. The money we're making is not bringing us blessing. Things are going to start going downhill. The reason for this is because you're too busy and focused on building your own houses and stockpiles and you've forgotten about Hashem. He's waiting for you to return to Him before He will bring miracles. To tell Him that you've come back to Him. That you want Him home. When you do that… prophecy will return. Miracles will happen. The Geula will be here. All of those signs and bad things that are not happening will transform into miracles of return. The ground will produce, you will become rich, you will be home. If not it will just get worse and worse.

 

Most Jews weren't moved or inspired. They couldn't leave. Even the ones that did leave, led by Zerubavel and Yehsohua Kohen Gadol, upon coming to Israel did not yet restart the project of rebuilding the Temple. They didn't get their permits still from Daruis. They were still too nervous. It took a second push from Chaggai to tell them to get started. Don't wait. Hashem will protect you. There won't be any danger. Har Ha'bayis Bi'yedchem- make it happen. Build the Temple.

 

And thus unlike 59 years ago when we didn't start and do what we were supposed on the 4th day of Elul they began the work of putting together the team to build the Temple.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE SHARING JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries, and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple-all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine-they were used to sharing everything. People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said,

"No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked,

"What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered, "My turn for the teeth."

 

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account? Prime mates.

 

Why are crabs so bad at sharing? Because they're all shellfish.

 

If I win tonight's Powerball, I'm sharing with everyone on my whatsapp status. I'm not sharing the money. I'll just let you know I won.

 

An Israeli, a Frenchman and a Palestinian are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze, when Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for consuming the booze they are all sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, they are able successfully to appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the benevolent sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes. As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh announced,

 "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

 

The Frenchman was first. He thought for a while, then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

 

This was done, but the pillow lasted only 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, the Frenchman had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. The Palestinian was next up. After watching the Frenchman's horror, he said smugly,

 

 "Please fix two pillows to my back."

 

But even two pillows could take only 15 lashes before the whip went through and the Palestinian was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

 

The Israeli was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the sheikh turned to him and said, "You are from a most beautiful and holiest part of the world and your culture is one of the finest that has done so much for humanity. For this, you may have two wishes!"

 

"Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness," the Israeli replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but 100 lashes."

 

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish"?

"Tie the Palestinian to my back."

 

Be careful when sharing jokes. I read a joke a few weeks ago that went, "What do you do when an epileptic is having a fit in the bath? Throw your laundry in."

I decided to repeat the joke at work the other day to some co-workers and when I finished, one guy got really offended and that I shouldn't tell jokes like that because his younger brother died in the bath as a child while having an epileptic fit.

I asked, "Did he drown?"

The guy was furious and said, "No, he choked on a sock!"

 

I deleted an audiobook my wife and I was sharing. Now I'll never hear the end of it

 

Moishe, Yanky and Chaim were walking around feeling quite hungry. They didn't have any money to buy anything. As they were discussing their problem they passed by a church announcing a big feast for the occasion of four nuns were celebrating that they were about to take their vows. Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, making them Brides of Yoshka.

Just as the ceremony was about to begin,  and they took their seats in the front row, the Mother looked at these Hasidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns and long beards came in and came over to them and said

“I am honored that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?”

Moishie replied, “We're from the groom's family.”

 

Moshe and Avram went to a fish restaurant. They ordered one lunch and 2 plates to share it. The waiter brought 1 large fish and one small fish.

"Avram, you choose first", said Moshe

"No, please you choose."

"OK, I will take". Moshe took a big piece and put it on his plate

Avram, looked upset and said, "I figured You would take a big one"

"And which would you take?"

"The small one"

"Nu, so what is the problem?"

 

The old scholarly rabbi, a man of great wisdom and erudition, was dying. His son's gathered around his bed, trying to make his last journey comfortable. They gave him some warm milk to drink but he refused. One of his son's took the glass back to the kitchen. He had come from Colorado, where marijuana is legal. He opened a vial of cannabis oil, and mixed a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at the rabbis bed he held the cup to his father's lips. The rabbi drank a little, then a little more, and before they knew it he finished the whole glass.

"Father" said the eldest son, "please share some wisdom with us before you go. Give us some perspective and advice.”

The rabbi raised himself up in bed. A sage look came over his face, And then he said, "DO NOT SELL THAT COW."

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The answer to this week's question is C– OK… So this is one of those where I technically got this right but they would probably mark me wrong. It's also a cool timely question. So I answered Dovid Hamelech was buried there. The truth is that's correct according to the way the question is worded. They believe he's there. That's even the reason why they say the whole story happened there. They like making Xtian Jewish connections, as it gives them a sense of credibility. But that's not what they were looking for. They wanted things that they made up in the New Testament. They wanted me to know about washing the feet of his students and other bubbeh meisehs. The other story that I didn't even remember or know about, was actually that they believe that on Shavuos after the Pesach when he was Baruch Hashem crucified Yemach Shemo. They believe that his students and Peter got ruach hakodesh and went out and proslytised to 3000 students that "converted". See… they want to hijack our Shavuos story as well. The real truth though is that Dovid Hamlech isn't buried there either. The Navi tells us he's in Ir Dovid. That's not by Zion Gate where the Last Supper is.

 

Now the second part, I really had no clue. I don't even know what Nestorians or whatever they call them are. I guessed Benedictine cause I knew it wasn't the Protestants who don't believe in that place. I was wrong the answer was Syrians. I really don't care. Do you? Well I got this one wrong entirely. So full point for them on this one and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having 22 points and the MOT having 10 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.


Thursday, May 18, 2023

The Big Ugly Five- Parshat Bamidbar 2023 5783

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

May 19th 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 31 28th of Iyar 5783

 

Parshat Bamidbar

The Big Ugly Five



Four out of five is not bad, I told myself. Sure, we would’ve really loved to see lions. They are after-all the most exciting of the “Big Five” animals you want to see on a safari in Africa, along with the…. Can you name the other four? OK I’ll tell you. Leopard, Rhinoceros. Elephant and Buffalo. Now to be fair we did see lots of giraffes- one even ate right out of my hand which was awesomely cool. We saw zebra, hippos, wild dogs, lots and lots of impalas with the nice M stripe on their backside as they are the McNuggets of the jungle for the rest of the predators. We saw monkeys, baboons and even crocodiles and ostriches. So yes, it would’ve been nice to have seen lions as well, but as I told my children and as I tell my tourists, you can’t see everything on one trip. You always have to save something for next time.

 

Now although we didn’t see all the “Big Five” of greatest animals in Safari. We did see the “other” Big Five- the five animals that have the distinction of being the five ugliest animals in the wild. Yes, there is a distinction and category of that as well. You gotta wonder who came up with that. It might be the same person that is on the acceptance committee of your child’s yeshiva or school, so be careful.

 

Now I have to admit, that I kind of agree with the person that came up with this list. The animals are, to be quite frank- quite ugly. It reminds me a bit of when the shadchan came over to me with suggestion about a girl back in my dating years. Being overweight I was kind of sensitive about the girls being “redt” to me, as I seemed to be a natural target to set up with girls that shall we say were not the most appealing in “appearance” or size. I guess nobody imagined that my winning personality would ever succeed in snagging me the prettiest (and skinniest!) girl in the world- like I did 😊! So this shadchan redt me this girl, whom after checking around a bit and hearing so much about her “wonderful middos and chesed and personality” every time I asked how she looked rather than anyone actually responding to what she looked like, became clear wasn’t the girl “look” or “size” perhaps I was looking for.

 

When I told the shadchan that I didn’t think it was for me, he understood what the problem was and told me that old cliché. “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”. I explained to him though, that everyone that I spoke to that had beheld her though- were quite clear that she wasn’t what I was looking to be beholding. Sometimes it’s just not meant to be. Although I’m sure Hashem found someone for her as well -probably a real stud, that was well built and knock out gorgeous unlike me at the time- so I’m sure she’s pretty happy.

 

So as I was saying though. I think these Big 5 “Uglies” most would agree are not the top shidduch material. Yet, as I learned on my safari, each one of them are pretty incredible and awesome creatures. Some even being perhaps most essential to the entire ecological system of the wild.

What are the top five? Let’s see one by one… Oh yeah… and while I’m doing that you can already start to think, what the parsha tie-in will be. You know there’s going to be one of course.

 

The first on the list, and probably the ugliest is the Wildebeest. It seems he’s so ugly that even the beast didn’t want his name properly spelled connected to him. If I had an image of the cows in Pharaohs dream- this is what it would look like. If I had to describe the way they look it would be if a horse, cow, donkey and buffalo and goat got together and had a baby with the ugliest features of all of them. Yet, despite their ugly appearance, fascinatingly enough, they are very intelligent creatures I’m told. They are very family oriented and live in close-knit communities or clans. Much like us Jews, in fact they are also very migratory traveling over 1000 miles each year back and forth across Africa. They’re pregnant for almost as long as we humans are and they give birth with the entire clan around them, so as to protect their young from predators.

 

Now one would think that they would be easy prey for the lions, leopards and wild dogs that like to feast on them, yet because they stick together when they are accosted by one of these predators, they all bang their feet and make lots of noise that kind of keeps the wild animals away. They seem to understand that they only way they are vulnerable is when they are divided. Ha’levai we should understand that as well as they do.

 

Next on the list is the King of the sky which we in Hebrew call the Nesher- which according to most interpretations is mistranslated as an eagle but is in fact the vulture or griffin. Unlike the eagle they have a large wingspan as described by Chazal, almost ten feet wide! Disney kind of destroyed their kingly royal status by making them out to be these lazy birds that just fress all day on carcasses, but in fact they are very active and can fly up to 11,000 feet above the ground (again just as Chazal describe them- unlike the eagle) and  they can spot a carcass from thousands of feet away- like a yeshiva guy can spot a chulent kiddush. Yes they’re bald and ugly but their baldness is actually a bracha because it enables them to withstand extreme heat and not get all the bacteria from the carcasses they eat stuck in their feathers.

 

 Yeah I know it’s strange to think that Hashem promised us that we would eventually be brought home to Eretz Yisrael on the wings of these “ugly” birds. But hey… nobody’s telling you to wait until Mashiach comes to come home… You can cash in your points and come early and go first class on El Al or even on a free Nefesh B’Nefesh flight and I imagine it will be a lot more comfortable.

 

Our third ugly animal is also a bird. This one is nicknamed “The undertaker”, someone who is generally not a very pretty looking guy. The Maribou stork in Hebrew is called the Marvo Africani from the chasida-stork family. So he’s chasidish. Chasidim in general are not that into their appearance, but these guys take it to a new extreme. They’re black and white, like most chasidim, but they’ve got these pink heads and  pimples and spots all over  their what looks like psoriasis covered necks.

 

But don’t underestimate these chasidim- they’re fierce creatures. First of all, like the vultures they have huge wing spans, yet they don’t really travel too much. They pretty much just hang around and eat the vulture’s leftovers. And they are real fressers. They can eat 2.2 pounds of meat in one bite! Also like the chasidim they pretty much mate for life with one spouse and both parents take care of their kids. They love a good bonfire kumzitz as well- yeah a Meron bonfire would be right up their alley, as they hang around brush fires and eat all the little animals that get roasted up or are running away. Now don’t expect a lot of singing from them. They’re not that vocal as they don’t even have a voice box. But they make up for it by banging and flapping their wings and beak together a lot. Na Nach Nachman Me’uman!

 

Fourth on our list of these crazy ugly animals is mine and all “Lion King fans” favorite, the warthog. Akuna Matata! Now personally I never really thought that pigs or hogs are particularly cute creatures. Maybe it’s the Jew in me, or perhaps it’s the two memorable years of my life when I lived in Iowa, the hog capital of the United States that did it to me and I still can’t seem to get the stink out of my body. But warthogs are so ugly that they are in fact a little cute and funny to look at. They have these big, huge tusks which are in fact really their teeth and they just love to hang out near water and wallow all day.

 

Despite their hog/ chazer trayf status, there’s still a little Jewish trait in them as well it seems. They don’t like to fight. They would rather flee than flight and those short little stubby legs of theirs can run 30 MPH!. As well another rather cute aspect of these guys is that they love to have their hair done and they let mongooses and even monkeys sit on them and pick the parasites out of their fur. Touchingly if a mother warthog loses its baby, she will foster other piglets and nurse them and it seems this is quite unique amongst animals and common for these little ugly chazers.

 

Finally the last of the “Ugly five” and the one that we saw the most on this safari is none other than that other Disney bad-guy animal; the hyena. In Hebrew the word for hyena is tzavua which means spotted. Interestingly enough that same word is used as slang in hebrew to describe a hypocrite. He’s spotted or fake or a hyena. What I discovered is that hyenas are actually very tricky animals and one of the smartest of the jungle. In the lodge that we stayed in they told us how hyenas were able to actually open doors and locks and break into the kitchen- like the best yeshiva bochur. On intelligence tests they’re smarter than apes or monkeys which is pretty impressive as monkeys are the most similar to humans. As well they’re incredible mothers, nursing their young for over a year and a half. Even more fascinating and perhaps even Jewish that is that their packs and communities are all run by the females. The men are just that “Baal Ha’Boss”. The women are the boss. The men are even a tier down after the baby cubs who have priority over the men. As I said they’re smart animals and understand better than others- who really needs to be running the show, and if Moma ain’t happy nobody’s happy.

 

One last hyena fact, and with that we’ll move into the parsha, is that for many years they thought that there weren’t even any female hyenas as the women have similar “down there” parts as men do. They’re fakers. They have an identity crisis. They’re trying to be something that they’re not and present themselves as something that they’re not. Is it any wonder than that they’re the animal that is used to describe a hypocrite? They are colored. And they are the ones that are the clean-up crew in the jungle taking everyone’s leftovers and eating it up with their powerful teeth. They’re the last stop in the jungle and circle of life. The true bottom feeders.

 

Which of course brings us to the book of Bamidbar- a place that is not translated as a desert as many mistakenly call it, but rather as a wilderness. We Jews spent an inordinate time in the wild. It’s where we became a nation. It’s where we were raised. It’s where we got the Torah. It’s what made us. As well, the navi even refers to all of our exiles as a midbar of sorts. We’ve spent many more centuries and millennia on the road wandering than in our home. We’re migrators. Wildebeests just trying to survive in a mean predatory jungle and most of the animals out there think we’re an ugly blight on the world. But that’s not where I was going with this…

 

Actually where I was going, was the fascinating Medrash and verses that describe the way that we traveled and wandered in the midbar. The Torah makes a big deal out of our “seating chart” and marching order- which to me always seemed kind of boring. As well the Torah seems to make a big deal out of the fact that we each had flags. Hurray! There were four flags for each of the four “camps” and then each of the 12 tribes had their own sign and design on their flag. Each one travelled according to their flag and according to their family and their father’s house. What’s with all the details and flags?

 

So, the midrash which tells us that the flags were in fact granted to us by our own request.

 B’Sheim elokeinu nidgol-with the name of Hashem we will flag- we say in our davening and then followed by

Yimalei Hashem es kol mishaloseinu- Hashem fulfills all of our wishes.

What is our wish? To have a flag. When did we have this request. None other than by this upcoming holiday of Shavuot at the revelation that we had from Mount Sinai. There we are told that the heavens opened up and Hashem revealed Himself to us we saw twenty-two thousand chariots of angels, each one decked out with flags. The Israelites immediately desired to have flags just like the angels, and Hashem agreed. This request for flags, the Midrash teaches, is described in the

 

Song of Songs (2:4): “Hevi’ani el bais ha’yayin v’diglo alai ahava -He brought me to the wine-house, and His banner over me is love.”

 

What is important about flags? Why do angels have them? And perhaps even more significantly why should we be jealous of them? Have you ever suffered flag envy before?

 

So, the idea I discovered in the commentaries as diverse as Rav Kook, The Sefat Emet and the Oznayim LaTorah of Rav Sorotzkin is that a flag represents what one is most connected to and identifies with. When we see that flag waving, we feel we are part of a greater whole. At the same time the flag tells me that I have a unique purpose and place. When I walk or march with a flag, I’m making a statement. I’m part of this country. I have a place there. It’s mine and I’m it. When the angels had flags around Hashem, Each one of them had and saw their own unique role in Hashem’s universe. An angel after all only has one function. And each angel had its own flag that surrounded Hashem. When we saw that, we wanted to have a flag as well. We wanted to know that we were important. There was a place for us. We had something unique that we could contribute and wave in the glory of Hashem.

 

There is perhaps no greater cause for many of the ailments of today’s generation than the lack of an identity and purpose. Depression, Suicide, teens at risk and adults that leave Judaism, Divorce, drug use and even all of this “gender confusion” mishigas, it all has its roots in the one malaise that the world suffers from. I don’t matter. I don’t have a purpose. I’m just another brick in the wall. Another number. What’s it all worth? Nothing really matters… We don’t have a flag to wave. We have nothing unique to offer.  We’re the Big Five Uglies and we don’t count.

 

It’s interesting that our sages tell us that the designs of the four camp flags actually had familiar animals on them. They corresponded to the images the Navi Yechezkel saw on the throne of Hashem. There was a lion- certainly one of the big 5 on the camp of Yehuda. The tribe of Yosef had an ox- although the targum Yonasan suggests that Moshe changed it out for a ram- so as not to awaken any remembrance of the golden calf- funny that if you cross an ox and a ram you might have something that looks like a wildebeest or maybe a warthog… ok just getting carried away there. Now the next tribe of Dan’s personal tribal symbol was a snake- yet their camps flag symbol was a Nesher- our good old carnivorous vulture friend. And finally the tribe of Reuvein- was a person. What a mix of the jungle and us! We’re animals of the jungle. The wild ones, the royal ones and the ugly ones. That’s our symbols.

 

The book of Bamidbar begins with a count of each Jew, and as the first Rashi tells us, Hashem counts us repeatedly to show how much He loves us. Yet, at the same time that parsha follows immediately with the flags. For it’s not just us nationally that He loves, but its each one of us individually that has a specific flag and purpose as well. We’re not just a number in the Jewish people’s census. We’re each flag and banner bearers. There are some of us that may be uglier than others, some of us that may look like vultures, or warthogs, and even maybe as spotted, as hypocritical or as confused about our identity as the hyena. Yet, in Hashem’s world there are no uglies. And particularly when it comes to the Jewish nation we are all beautiful. At the Mountain of Sinai Hashem tells us V’Diglo alai Ahava- His flag for us is full of love. He gave us the Big Eternal Five that Shavuos day 3400 years ago. The five books of the Torah. Each Jew has a special letter and place in that Big Five. The Big Five isn’t complete without every letter in the Book and the world and Hashem’s throne aren’t complete without all of us.

 

I know this is a lengthy E-Mail this week, but I can’ resist sharing with you one more idea on this Yom Yerushalayim, when so many here have hung up flags and are marching in Yerushalayim on this special day. Sadly and tragically, there are many that are not flag-wavers on this day for whatever reason. It really doesn’t matter to me as well why. Whether you’re too frum for the flag, you don’t like the State of Israel, you feel too connected to the country you live in that’s not here or whether you’re just too lazy. Here’s an incredible idea from Rav Soloveitchik and his feelings about the Israeli flag and why perhaps you should reconsider. I certainly am…

 

“If you ask me how I, as a Talmudic Jew, look at the flag of the State of Israel, and whether it has any halakhic value, I will give you a simple answer. I am not impressed at all by the allure of a flag or similar ceremonial symbols. Judaism negates the worship of material objects. However, we must not ignore the law in the Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De’ah 364:4) which says that a Jew who is killed by non-Jews is buried in his clothing, so that his blood will be seen and he will be avenged. This is in accordance with the verse,

 

“I will forgive, but I will not forgive their blood” (Yoel 4:21).

 

In other words, Jewish clothing acquires a certain sanctity when it is stained with holy blood. How much more profoundly does the blue and white flag, which is soaked with the blood of thousands of young Jews who fell defending the land and the Jewish settlement… It has a spark of holiness which flows from their devotion and self-sacrifice. We are all obligated to honor the flag and to relate to it respectfully (The Rav Speaks: Five Addresses).”

 

May this 56th year of our return to Yerushalyim, the Golan Heights, to Chevron and Kever Rachel which began the return of the flowering of our redemption to Eretz Yisrael be the year that each one of us finds our flag to wave and to bring home to the land our ancestors longed to return to as we hang a flag of the glory of Hashem over His home rebuilt.

 

Have a miraculous Yom Yerushalayim and a wildly exuberant Shabbos,

 

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz


 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Der miesteh leben iz besser fun shensten toit..- The ugliest life is better than the nicest death..

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

22) A church in Lod, partly transformed into a mosque, is:

The name of the first martyr (=protomartyr) in Christianity is:

A) Saint Chariton

B) Saint Sabbas

C) Saint Paul

D) Saint Stephen

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

  

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/hachaya-yehalilu -Once we’re talking about my Africa trip again- can’t resist but to give you my amazing first Africa trip composition. Hachaya/ Halilu… I just love this song

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ma-rabu  - and of course once you’ve heard that, then why not listen again to my latest Africa composition and newest release in case you missed it last week… Ma Rabu!

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0nVBcLv9iE – Yom Yerushalayim liberation footage how can you not get teary eyed…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW1N6_nJLRM – And of course Abie Rottenberg always puts it best with his Yerushalayim tribute song..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEx_2r_hiSA – and if you really have time… Reb Shlomo Carlebach on Yom Yerushalayim..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=er9G0nmTTuA – And a short little beautiful plug about the beauty of a wedding in Jerusalem with my good friend Dovid Lowy… The best!


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


Mercy on our Enemies- 680 BC- As we said last week, Elisha wasn’t scared of the army of Aram that had come to wage war on Yehoram and his Northern kingdom of Israel. Ben Hadad had sent his army to siege Elisha in Dosan, but as Elisha revealed to his student we had the army of Hashem with hundreds of fiery angels on our side. Yet, Elisha had a better plan to subdue Aram.


He merely walked over to their army and asked Hashem to blind them all, which of course He did. Then Elisha told them they were looking in the wrong location for him and told them to follow him. He took the army of Aram straight into the arms of Yehoram in the Shomron. The city of Shomron was the capital of the Northern Kingdom that was purchased by Omri and built up by his son Achav. Today the archeological park of Sebastia as it was later called which is right next to Shechem, is only open to visitors with military accompaniment and pre-reservation. It is in fact one of the largest and oldest archeological sites from this period of the 7th and 8th century BC and it was eventually destroyed by Sancheirev in the Assyrian assault. The city was rebuilt time and time again throughout the second Temple by the Chashmonaim and Herod and was in use later as well in Byzantine and Muslim periods of Israel.


But back to our story. You can imagine Yehoram’s surprise when he saw Elisha walk into town like the pied piper with his entire enemy’s army just following him, literally blindly, in to their waiting hands. It was a fitting punishment for Aram, as they had planned to surprise and ambush Yehoram and now they were the one’s caught in a trap they realized once Elisha gave them their sight back. Yehoram asked Elisha if he should kill them and finally be done with this cursed enemy, yet surprisingly Elisha seems not to blame them. He tells Yehoram to feed them and give them a big feast and then send them back home to their king. It really doesn’t seem more Jewish or even Israeli than that. This is really an incredible precedent that is worthy of discussion.


According to some commentaries Elisha wanted to make a kiddush Hashem. We’re not animals like they are. We’re not looking to shed blood. All we want is peace and quiet and hopefully by sending them back they will see that. Other’s say it was a strategic decision. Elisha wanted to stop the cycle of violence. He wasn’t nervous that they would come back because ultimately he knew he had an army of fiery angels in his back pocket. By sending the men back untouched Elisha was showing them that we’re not scared of you. Hopefully that would work.


Did it? Well on the one hand they didn’t attack us after that the Navi tells us. On the other hand they did come back not soon after. Not to fight with us, but rather to lay siege on the city of Shomron. How bad was it? Stay tuned next week for the continuing saga.


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE UGLY JOKES OF THE WEEK


You’re so ugly that your portraits hang themselves


A woman gets on to a bus, holding her unfortunately ugly baby.

The driver laughs and says "what an ugly baby!"

Fuming, the woman sits down and turns to the man next to her. "That driver was so rude to me. I should really give him a piece of my mind."

The man nods sympathetically. "You go tell him, I'll hold your dog."


A guy picking up his kids at school sees another kid and says loudly "sheesh, what an ugly kid!"

The person standing next to him says "he's my son..."

The guy, pretty embarrassed, replies "oh man, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were his father"

"I'm his mom..."


If i had nickel for every time a woman thought i was ugly, They would find me attractive


How can you tell a woman is really ugly? A cannibal takes one look at her and orders a salad.


Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, The angel says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck. And although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes The angel with the ugliest man she ever saw. The angel chains them together and says,

 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes the angel, who doesn't miss a thing and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months Without stepping on any ducks.

But one day The angel comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

The angel chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."


You’re so ugly even Ripley couldn’t believe it.


You’re so ugly that when you sits on your iphone, it unlocks!


Always marry an ugly woman, a beautiful one will leave you... An ugly one will too, but you just won't care as much.


I tried to enter an ugly competition and was told sorry no professionals!


A bus full of ugly people crashes. Everyone dies and goes to heaven, forming a line at the pearly gates. The Angel of Heaven is there and says, "Before you get into heaven, you get one wish."

The first person in line says, "I wish I was beautiful!"

Poof, they're beautiful, they get into heaven. The second guy says, "I wish I was beautiful too!"

 Poof, they're beautiful, they get into heaven. The guy at the end of the line starts to chuckle. The line gets shorter and shorter with everyone asking to be beautiful. Poof, they're beautiful, they get into heaven. The guy at the end of the line starts to laugh harder and harder until he's finally at the pearly gates with the angel. The angel asks the man, "What on earth is so funny?" And the man, through his tears of laughter, finally manages to say, "Make 'em all ugly again!"


You’re so ugly that the world faked a pandemic just so you have to wear a mask

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The answer to this week”s question is D – Yeah… I got this one wrong. I wonder if I would’ve gotten it right even 12 years agon when I took the course. Lod is not a place I have toured more than a number of times. I think the only place I’ve gone there is there’s some indoor boating experience in the basement of some old fortress. But anyways the correct answer is the big mosque or the Al Omari mosque built by the Mamluk king Beibers on the remains of the Byznatine and Crusader churches that were there. Not that you care… As far as the Part 2 of this question the answer is not Paul like I guessed, but rather Stephen who was a Jewish guy that actually Paul was part of the “Sanhedrin” that killed him according to their fake Bible. Stephen was playing up the yoshka thing and cursing out the corruption of the Kohanim and the Temple and they stoned him to death for kefira. As I said this is not my area of expertise all of the Christian bubbeh maysehs… So I have no problem getting this wrong although I probably would’ve skipped this question as there are 5 questions you’re allowed to skip on the exam. But anyways we’ll count it as wrong so the score as of now 16.5 for Schwartz and 5.5 for Ministry of tourism on this exam so far…