Hate Them- Kill Them- Parshat Vayikra Zachor 2024 5784

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

March 22^nd 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 23 12^th of Adar II 5784

Parshat Vayikra- Zachor

Hate Them- Kill Them

We do things differently in my shul than other places. We do them right. On the one hand we are a pretty chareidi congregation. Most of my mispalelim are hard core chariedi kollel guys. Yet we have the prayer for the soldiers, the State of Israel and now for the return of the hostages. I don’t know how any self-respecting Jew can daven in shul that doesn’t have these prayers. Reishit tzmichat geulaseinu… Really? That bothers you…? Grow up. It’s here.

 

I speak after kriyat ha’torah on Shabbos morning as American congregation Rabbis do. People need a good drasha and story Shabbos morning, or at least a snooze or time to be ma’avir sedra before they come home. And it’s so much more fun to leave for the Rabbi’s speech, make kiddush in the backroom or join a breakoff minyan in the yard than sticking it out for the whole service. This is particularly true for those that only just showed up a few minutes before Torah reading anyways… See, we aim to please everyone.

 We sing Friday night Carlebach style. We sing the entire Hallel on Rosh Chodesh.  I mean the final blessing of Hallel literally says the word “Vi’yishoriru- and we sing it” … I don’t know how other congregations even say the blessing without having sung Hallel. When we’ve been saying Tehillim after prayers we don’t say the standard October 6^th ones that everyone else says. Rather we open it up and read inside the ones that Hashem chooses for us. We do things different as I said. We do it the only real way it’s supposed to be done. It’s why we daven nusach sefard too.

 But perhaps one of the most different things that we do is each year before the Torah reading of Parshat Zachor that we will read this week; I give a speech that is different than most Rabbi or Gabbai speeches before the biblically mandated reading. I tell it like it is. See in most shuls the Rabbi or Gabbai will get up and say something to the effect that the Torah reading of Amalek is a biblical obligation. One needs to hear every word. There shouldn’t be any talking. Keep your kids quiet. They will even read it twice in order that some of the words that have multiple pronunciations are read correctly each way. This is very important. It’s the only biblical mandated reading. Pay attention… Blah Blah Blah…

 Welcome to Rabbi Schwartz’s shul now where these is a different speech that is given.

 “Hello everyone. Thank you for coming today. We are about to begin the Torah reading of Amalek that is done annually. I’d like to preface this Torah reading by telling everyone that there is absolutely no biblical obligation whatsoever to hear the reading of the Torah of the story of how Amalek attacked us. There is no mitzva to hear every single word, although that could be a good thing. There’s no obligation to hear it read twice. There is a different mitzva though however which sadly enough we might be the only shul in the world that will be fulfilling, because of this important speech that I’m giving.

 See, the Rambam is quite clear about what that obligation is. He writes in the Sefer HaMitzvos as follows.

Mitzva 192- We are commanded to constantly remember what Amalek did to us, i.e., to be the first to attack us [after we were redeemed from Egypt]; and to speak of it constantly; to arouse people to wage war against them and hate them, in order that it not be forgotten or the hatred towards them lessened with the passage of time.  The source of this commandment …the Sifri says, is the phrase, 'Remember what Amalek did to you,' refers to doing so verbally. The phrase, 'Do not forget,' means in one's heart." This means that one should say verbally words that cause people to keep this hatred in their hearts.”

Similarly, in his Yad Chazaka he describes the mitzva as one where we are meant to remember what Amalek has done to us in order to awaken hatred in our hearts, as it is forbidden to forget this hatred towards them. As I said there is no mitzva to listen to the Torah reader read from the Torah. There is another mitzva though.

 The mitzva that we are going to fulfill now in this shul as the Rambam describes is to be filled with an overwhelming sense of hatred. We are going to be so full of hate that we will want to go into Amalek villages and slaughter all of them. Men, women, children. We will want to chop each of them up into little pieces gleefully. We want to throw their little devil spawn babies into ovens and burn them on high. We want to carpet bomb them into oblivion. We want to chuck their old, evil, wheelchaired bound, senior murdering citizens in a river and a sea and watch the bubbles slowly fizzle out as they scream in pain. We will want to watch their cities burn to the ground. We will kill every animal. Every puppy of theirs. We will sing “mishe mishe mishe nichnas adar” while dancing in the rivers of blood that will flow through the streets.

 That is the biblical commandment that we are going to fulfill now when the Baal Koreh reads the Torah reading and we remember how evil they are. It’s not and never has been about saying “zeicher”or “zecher” correctly or reading it with an Ashkenazi, Sefardi ,Yemenite or Chasidic havara or tune… It’s about arousing an eternal hatred that wants to avenge and destroy them deep deep inside of our souls and hearts.

 See, as I said we do it a little differently in my shul. I don’t get why other Rabbis don’t feel the obligation to inspire their congregations to fulfill the mitzva properly and give a similar speech.

Now to be violently honest, although I’ve given this speech every year, I never really felt it as passionately and graphically as I tried to give it over. I really don’t like the sight of blood much. I could never really join the army, unless they just wanted me to be the rah rah guy that riles everyone up, which incidentally I’m quite good at. But guns and me don’t really go. I have a big mouth that has gotten me into trouble more often then I can think, but I’ve never really physically hurt anyone. Sticks and stones and breaking bones are not me. Name calling though… inflicting severe emotional pain… yeah I’m guilty.

 The truth is I don’t think I’m the only one like that. I’m pretty sure that most of you readers are as well the non-violent type. You’re Jewish and live in America after-all. It was probably even difficult for you to even read that last graphic paragraph-if you’re even still here and haven’t unsubscribed yet. It’s why we’re so in awe of these brave chayalim of ours that have that fire burning inside of them like the great Maccabees and the army of Yehoshua and King David. These guys are the real deal. They’re made out of something biblical. They’re fighting selflessly in the name of Hashem, in the name of Klal Yisrael. They’re doing the job that all of us need to be doing. They’re our High Priests.

 So although I’ve never really felt my speech before, this year though is different. It must be different. This year I think for the first time all of us can finally tap into that hatred that the Rambam and the Torah really wants us to have. We can understand it. We need to understand it and feel it. Hashem has revealed to us the face of evil like never before; the face of Amalek.

 But is Hamas really Amalek? I’m sure many of our yeshivishe friends are asking that question. After all, Amalek as we know is a descendant of Esau, while the Arabs are seemingly from Yishmael. Yet Rav Soloveitchik quoting both his father Reb Moshe and his grandfather the great Reb Chaim of Brisk deduce from the fact that when the Rambam mentions the mitzva to wipe out Amalek he differentiates in the way he describes the mitzva to destroy the 7 nations when we come to the land of Israel from Amalek. By the 7 Canaanite nations the Rambam specifically notes that the mitzva is inapplicable today as Sancheirev (whom we just learned about in our Eras column below for those that have ever made it that far down in this weekly E-Mail to read) mixed up and re”colonized” all of the nations around the world. Thus, we have no idea who they are. In describing the mitzva to wipe out Amalek though, the Rambam doesn’t mention this disclaimer. He writes, as the Torah does, that this is an eternal existential and real battle and obligation. From this he understands that any nation like Haman that comes to declare genocide on the Jewish people as part of their mandate, has the halachic status as Amalek. Boom. End of story. Hate them- Kill them. All of them.

 In fact there even seems to be a Yerushalmi that notes that Haman himself was perhaps not even a direct descendant of Hamdasa and the Agagi ,which differs from the Midrash and Bavli take on him. Rav Soloveitchik thus ruled that the Nazis YM”SH were Amalekites and one even fulfills the mitzva of remembering and instilling our hatred for them by studying Holocaust history. Stalin as well falls into that category. The great Jerusalem sage and holocaust survivor Rav Gustman Z”L used to tell his students that when he killed a Nazi with his bare hands back in his partisan days he felt that he had fulfilled the mitzva of wiping out Amalek. If that is the case, then Hashem has truly brought us this year to the day when we can finish up the job that King Shaul didn’t, by wiping out this last remnant of them. By hating them to the core. By understanding that Humanitarian aid only makes sense if there are humans to receive it. And by achieving a hatred like we’ve never had before for everything that has a pulse on the other side of that fence.

 There is an incredible Midrash that the holy Chortokever Rebbi brings that perhaps can shed light on this unique mitzva. The midrash writes that when Hashem told the Jewish nation that we need to remember eternally the mitzva to destroy Amalek, the people turned to God and said

 “We are mere flesh and blood and we are mortal. How can we remember something forever? Isn’t it better since You are immortal and infinite that You, Hashem, remember and destroy them?

Hashem thus responded to them, that all we need to do is read from the Torah portion of the mitzva to destroy Amalek and He will consider it as if we destroyed them ourselves”

 The Rebbe asks that it is a strange response. Why does Torah reading help as if we destroyed them? Are the words and emotion really just as good as sticks and stones, or as missiles, bombs, and AK47s? As well how does this address the question that we asked of why it wouldn’t be better if Hashem was the One to remember and destroy them for us? The Chortkover answers that what the Torah reading does is that it connects us as a nation right back to Egypt. We are the same people now as we were then. We are still reading the story. We are still emotionally connected. It is in those days but it is in our times. It is today.

 Amalek’s eternal battle is to disconnect us from that past and from one another. They attack the weak, the spiritually disconnected, the vulnerable, the ones that perhaps have even been thrown out of the spiritual camps because of their sins. Amalek’s fight is against netzach Yisrael- the eternality of our nation that transcends time and space and even individuals. When we read the Torah and feel that story that happened and are emotional about it, then we have won them. We have destroyed them. But it only works if you feel. If you hate. If you understand that we need to be avenged. That the Shechina can only shine if we eliminate the source of evil that is sworn to prevent that from happening.

The truth is I don’t need Rav Soloveitchik to tell me that we are in a battle against Amalek. I look at our nation and our era now and what they have done to us, and it is obvious. There is so much unity now. What Amalek did was make us realize that we are our all brothers and sisters and responsible for one another. It’s not just some soldier that was killed- it’s my brother, my son, my husband, my father. It’s not just some kibbutznik or festival goer that are kidnapped and sitting in Gaza. It’s my sister, my brother, my little cute red-headed baby. There are no them and us. There’s only Am Yisrael.

 As well it’s not only Hamas that is our enemy. They are not the only Amalek. It is the “Free Palestine” idiots. It’s Hezbollah. It’s all of those that are b’chol dor v’dor omdim aleinu-that stand up on us- as if they are better than us. As if they have the moral high ground. As if we are the baby-killers. As if we are the ones that are committing Genocide.

 They stand on us and tell us what we need to do. What we can’t do. Who we can’t kill. Who they don’t want us to kill. We need to understand that this is not coming from some type of lack of information. That Hamas and Palestine and Amalek have a better PR force then Israel does. That missions and hasbara campaigns and speeches before the UN and International courts and the US congress will change. They stand on us not because they don’t get it. Rather it’s because they are out l’chaloseinu- to destroy us. Us is all of us. It’s the settlers, it’s Yerushalayim, it’s Israel, it’s Lakewood, New York, Gateshead, London, South Africa and Australia. It’s every Jew in the 127 countries of Achashveirosh that were perhaps scattered and disconnected before Purim, before October 7^th, but have since discovered that we are all part of one whole.

 What unites is not just sympathy, chesed, tzedaka, and the prayers that will help fix the situation and bring them all back. It’s a much stronger emotion. It’s perhaps the strongest emotion in the world next to love. It’s hate. We’re a loving and forgiving nation and people. It’s natural to us. Yet we all feel hatred now as well, each of us to a different degree. We feel hatred towards these barbarian Amalekites. And we should. We need to. For the less we hate- the less we love and care.

 Why is hate so important? Why is it so essential? Why is it even more powerful than love and the strongest emotion one can experience? The answer on a very deep level is that one can only hate if it’s personal. When we love someone, what we are doing is expanding our sense of self onto another. It’s loving myself and he is part of me. I become bigger and bigger and feel warmer and better the more I love. The more I’m united with someone else. Hate, though is the extreme opposite.

 I hate someone when they have taken the core of who I am. They have killed me. They have taken my son or my daughter to Gaza. They have killed my brother or sister who’s a soldier. They have burned my baby and left me an empty shell- as the so many mourning that I see daily look like. That’s when hate comes out. The more I hate, reveals the more I feel they have taken from me. The less I hate, the more I “get over it”. The more I “move on” and don’t feel emotional, the more I’m disconnected from myself. The more I’m disconnected from the person they took from me. From my brother in Gaza, from the ones that they abused.

 That’s what Amalek wants to achieve. To divide us. To make us not care about one another. To hit the weak, the ones “outside the camp”. The ones the rest of us comfortable ones, frummer ones, safer ones, can sort of shake our heads, write off, shed a tear, perhaps even pray for and say some Tehillim for. But that we can’t hate for. We can’t want to go out and kill them all for. We don’t feel enough that it is our personal loss to take the ultimate vengeance for. That’s what Amalek is banking on. That’s what Hamas is too. And so is your neighbor down the block in Lakewood, in Congress, on 5^th Avenue with his Free Palestine flag. They’re counting on the fact that we’re not connected enough to really hate.

 On October 7^th we felt that hate and connection though. We feel it when we see those protestors, when we hear the pain of those suffering. When we see the obituaries each morning for another fallen soldier and broken family and when we see those posters of the hostages. Yet it’s been waning for some of us. People are calling me for tours for Pesach and Sukkos, as if there’s no existential Messianic war going on right now that will bring Mashiach. This to me is scarier than Hamas. It’s scarier to our country and its soldiers who are terrified that all we may be fighting and dying in vain for just another “Tzuk Eitan” Gaza or Lebanon war. Because we don’t have enough hatred to see it through the end. To be timcheh es Zecher Amalek.

 The Shemen HaTov writes reads this scenario into the Torah’s commandment itself.

V’haya b’haniach Hashem Elokecha es kol oiyvecha m’saviv- and it will be when Hashem removes all our enemies from around you.

 When you don’t feel there’s any threat anymore. When you feel that you’ve restored “security”. When you’re already ayef v’yageya- you’re worn out and tired from fighting, from hating, from killing, from the world screaming at you… you’ve had enough. The Torah then tells us- rather commands us.

 Timcheh es zecher Amalek- wipe them out.

Don’t stop. Bring it to the end. That is the mitzva that is the biblical commandment we are meant to think about this week and that we fulfill when hearing every single word of the Torah reading. Maybe even twice and maybe even in different nusachs. This year though we need perhaps to hear that Torah reading in Arabic. In Hamas’s hate-filled language. We need to hear it in Amalekite language, so we learn the hatred that is not natural to us from them in order to see this through to the end. To be able to dance with joy at the destruction of the evil that Hashem has brought us to experience in our Messianic Era.  May this year Hashem’s throne finally be completed with the final eradication of His enemies.

 Have an easy meaningful and generous 😊 fast of Esther a memorable Zachor and a Fraylichen Purim!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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CHIZUK/TZEDAKA OPPORTUNITY OF THE WEEK

Just when you thought this E-Mail couldn’t get any longer… well here it goes. It's been 165 days of War and this essential column is dedicated to giving you readers an opportunity to have a meaningful part of helping out our country and nation by donating to a weekly link of a different organization, a cause, soldiers, refugees, supplies, Hostage families, widows, farmers etc…

 

There are so many needs and I know that you want to participate and help them not just read about them. So each week I will feature in our E-Mail in this column another cause and link that you can contribute and make a meaningful difference to. (this of course should not come at the expense of your sponsorship of my weekly E-Mail or our upcoming Purim appeal iup above! 😊) But this is a way that you can bring light and money to the so many that need it. Give what you can. But give regularly and if you can I’d really appreciate if if you send me a screenshot or message of your donation as I can then forward it to whoever receives it so they know that it came from our helpful readers. So here we go…

 IBF- Israel Beef Forces- my Beef Jerky guys!- As Napoleon aptly put it, "An army runs on its stomach." We take this principle to heart! We have an especially dedicated group of individuals committed to supporting our חיילים by providing them with beef jerky — which is an incredibly high protein food — to give soldiers the energy they need while fighting on the front lines. One 60 gram (2 oz.) package of our high quality beef jerky provides a soldier with approximately 28 grams of protein. That’s almost the equivalent of two meals worth of protein in one light package!

 SmorgasBOARD by Etan makes high quality home cured beef jerky and meat boards. IBF is the new operational arm of SmorgasBOARD by Etan and is making premium beef jerky available to our soldiers on the front lines.  In the face of danger, our mission is clear: to provide essential sustenance to the brave soldiers fighting in the most dangerous locations, from Gaza to the Lebanon border. In times of war, soldiers don't often have the luxury of breaks, yet they endure, displaying unwavering resilience. Recognizing the vital role nutrition plays in sustaining their strength, I.B.F. provides a powerful source of protein and sustenance.

 I.B.F. is more than just a meal; it's an expression of our love, care and gratitude towards our heroes. It’s our way of saying thank you and bringing smiles to our soldiers' faces. With every pack of our jerky, we send a message to those on the front lines: You are not alone and your sacrifice does not go unnoticed. As one soldier put it, “With your beef jerky, we will win this war!”

 PLEASE SEND ME SCREENSHOTS OF YOUR DONATIONS SO I CAN FORWARD TO Avi and Eytan  and let them know that our Readers love him and appreciate his hard work for our soldiers.

 https://vimeo.com/912579142    

 And here’s the link to donate

https://causematch.com/Israel_beef_forces/tate

 YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Di velt hot feint dem moissernik un dem mussernik..”- The world hates the informer and the moralist.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

32.The name of the valley where the Eshkol Reservoir is situated is ___________.

What is the origin of most of the drinking water in Israel today?

A. The Sea of Galilee

B. The Mediterranean

C. Runoff water

D. Ground water

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/yiddelach   – In Honor of PURim MY latest new release… Its; the only song I’m posting this week. You just have to listen to it five times… If You want the Rap at the end… IT’s amazing… Tell me how much you love it…

 https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/techelet-mordechai  – Remember this great Rabbi Schwartz Purim composition! Get into the groove it’s the ultimate Purim Seuda song.. Techlet Mordechai

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=copuiawkyCY  -  Simcha Leiner 613 Eli Marcus Avi Peretz Purim!!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYGd4HOend4  – This song is really really amazing- the lyrics are fantastic…but theyre in Hebrew – Giborei Al by Hatikva 6

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y61gzf7CByc  – Best and Funniest song of the week- Amalek Histalek!

  RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK

A  Different Type of Salvation- It was 1942 Purim when the Asih Kodesh, the holy Piacezner rebbe of Krakow wrote this piece. It’s eternal message resonates today like never before. He notes that the salvation and song we sing on Purim of Shoshanas Yaakov describes that we experienced this when we saw the Techelet Mordechai the garments of Mordechai. What does Mordechai’s clothing have to do with salvation?

 He writes that there are two ways Hashem answers our prayers. The first is the standard one. We ask Hashem, we daven from within according to the trouble we experience and Hashem answers us. Yet there are times when the tzara is so great that we can’t even verbalize it. It encompasses us on all levels. We are enclothed in it. It is the level that Dovid describes as being Tefilla l’ani ki ya’atof- it is the prayer of the pauper who is ensconced in it from the outside. He’s wearing his trouble on his garments and thus lifney Hashem yishpoch sicho- his words just our forth. His cry just fills the world. When that happens then Hashem utilizes what is called the ohr makif- a light that surrounds us. That isn’t limited by our internal prayer which is finite by the body and heart that it comes from. Rather it comes from the outside. It’s all over. It turns the whole world around.

 That is what happened on Purim. On Chanuka we were in Israel still. We had the Temple. Our trouble was great but it didn’t cover us from all sides. Thus the miracle was limited. The salvation was a jug of oil. We came back, but the truth was it wasn’t a long-term salvation as we lost it all very quickly afterwards. Purim though we were still in exile. We were wearing the “royal clothes’ of Achashveirosh. We were wrapped in pain and trouble and it surrounded us. It was then that we knew that the redemption would be an eternal one. Would be one where everything flipped around. That’s the holiday of Purim.

 And that’s why as well each year we begin Purim with the eternal fast of Esther. We need to experience that sense of exile, of our lives being threatened, we need to be overwhelmed and it pours out. When we do that then we can celebrate Purim. Then we can see the redemption. All the holidays we are told will be nullified when Mashiach comes except for Purim. As well all of the fasts, the chasidim tell us will be turned into days of joys. Except one. Taanit Esther- today is eternal. It is the ohr makif. It is being wrapped in Hashem. That is forever. That is the day that has power like none other. Let’s utilize this day and bring it up to the salvation that we are looking for!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 722 BC-Shomronim/ Kuthim-  When Sancheirev exiled our nation he didn’t just throw us out of our land. He repopulated our holy country with foreigners. The Navi tells us that he moved in nations from Bavel/ Iran from Kuth which is Ethiopia. In case that sounds familiar to you in this Purim season Achashveirosh’s kingdom reigned from Hodu/ India  until Kuth-Yup the same one…

 Now the reason why he did this colonization was in order that there will be no sense of loyalty to the country that one resides in. He learned this it would seem from Yosef in Egypt who as well repopulated the Egyptians all over the country so that when his brothers came down they wouldn’t feel any more foreginers or persecuted than anyone else. See, it all starts with the Jews...

 Now there are many ramifications as a result of the above. Our sages tell us that since Sancheirev “mixed up the world”, the biblical nations such as the 7 nations we are meant to destroy are no longer the inhabitants of those countries. As well many authorities rule that even Amalek, unlike what we wrote in our main E-Mail, is as well no longer a nation that we know whom it is. As well the 10 tribes have been lost forever according to some because of this repopulation and their eventual assimilation into their new countries. According to some never to return.  This was a big deal on all levels.

 Yet the most practical aspect of this bilbul- mix-up as the Talmud tells us is that it brought to Israel a new nation that settled in the shomron. They were called the Kuthim and they remain until today. The Navi tells us that they were idolators but being that Eretz Yisrael doesn’t tolerate idolatry Hashem sent lions to attack them. Terrified they turned to Sancheirev who ordered the Rabbis to solve the problem which they did by teaching them Torah or at least about Hashem and not to defile the land. They considered themselves converts as a result. Even worse they eventually after the Purim story when the Jews returned claimed to be the real Jews. The ones that Hashem really chose. They worshipped Hashem, the Navi tells us, but they also worshipped their idolatry. Kind of like Christianity in that way. Some things never change.

 Eventually our sages ruled that their conversion wasn’t proper as it only came out of fear.   Yet until today there are Shomronim who live in the Shomron/ West Bank area by Mt. Gerizim which they believe is the real Mt Moriah. They take visitors. They even bring sacrifices. They believe in the written Torah but not the oral tradition. They’re strange but seemingly harmless people over-all. But god willing soon, we will return to our borders and once again have our land back with all of its children and our ancient enemies will be destroyed.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE JOKES OF THE WEEK

V”NAHAPOCH HU!

NO JOKES TODAY…

HA HA HA….

C’mon that’s kind of funny…!

Don’t worry the jokes will come still… but first you have to donate… sponsor… help our campaign… up above…

But don’t worry…

Our annual Top Ten List Purim E-Mail is on it’s way…

I always take care of my peeps!

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 The answer to this week”s question is B– This is really insane. I can’t seem to get out of this 50/50 rut. I thought I got this one right and I was wrong. The second part of the question I got right. I knew that the majority of the water came from Mediterranean. We have three desalinization plants that takes out all of the salt. I also know where the Eshkol water reservoir is. I pass it all the time as I drive through the lower galil. Yet I for some reason wrote that it was in the Jezreel valley. I was wrong I realized when I saw the answer. The correct answer is the Netufa valley which is just North of the Jezreel, although it does from there down into the valley. So another half right and half wrong. Oh well. At least I’ve still passing this one. So the score is score is Rabbi Schwartz at 22.5 points and the MOT having 8.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

A Day in the Life- Parshat Pikudey 2024 5784

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

 March 15^th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 22 5^th of Adar II 5784

Parshat Pikudey

A Day in the Life

Back in my previous Tour Guide life before October 7^th I very rarely would give my clients and the families that  hired me to tour with them an itinerary of what we would do. I even wrote a whole E-Mail for those of you that remember on the many reasons behind that policy. (You can read it here-if you didn’t receive it after you drove me crazy a million times asking me for one https://holylandinsights.blogspot.com/2022/11/i-tinerary-unplanning-parshat-lech.html ). Needless to say, in a nutshell I always felt that an itinerary was the enemy of a good day. I wanted to meet them first, get a better feel for what’s best for them. I didn’t want to be locked into anything in case, as usually would happen, the schedule changed. We were late, we got stuck in traffic. I didn’t want them to feel they missed out on something. I wanted them to enjoy every part of the day-which kids never do if they know that there’s something exciting at the end of the day. I liked to keep that surprise element about what’s coming next open. So there was no itinerary on a Rabbi Schwartz day. If you came with me on a tour you had to do so on faith. Trust me, or at least your friend that recommended you take me on a tour. And Baruch Hashem, I don’t think I’ve ever disappointed.

 Well, guess what? Now the tables have turned on me. Welcome to my new life. I’m a “war guide” now. My clients are no longer tourists or even “war”ists. My clients are- as I tell the good people from America, who call me daily for these “Chizuk missions” that I now do-the people whom we visit, we strengthen, we help, we comfort and whom we donate to. They are the focus of my daily trips. They are the ones that I care about and are there to service. The widows, the orphans, the soldiers, the farmers, the families of hostages, the wounded, the hurting and the bereft. Everyone else with me in the minibus or car are just coming along for the ride. They’re just carrying the luggage. The luggage filled with all of the heart, tears, love and money that we are delivering.  My real clients are the children of Hashem that we will be visiting.

 The problem though is that Hashem has a funny way of also not planning itineraries for me. He has His own ideas about where I’m going to be going and He doesn’t like to share them with me either. It’s payback time for all of the clients I had in the past, that I made go through that trial of faith before starting a tour with me. He’s not telling me, just as I never would tell them. Mida k’neged mida- Tit for tat. But just like a Rabbi Schwartz tour. I’ve learned in this daily process He’s been putting me through,  He will never disappoint me with a less than spectacular miraculous day.  

 Every tour, every day, it’s another adventure. You’ve read some of them already in these weekly missives that I somehow try to pass off as a Dvar Torah- so you don’t feel too guilty reading it in shul in the middle of the Rabbis speech or kabbalat Shabbat. Yet at the same time you could read it in the bathroom and not feel too guilty either… Who does that for you? 😊 But this week though being it’s Rosh Chodesh Adar and Hashem was feeling exceedingly joyous He decided to have some real fun with me as He rachets up His “surprise-here’s-where-you’re-going-next” factor.

I woke up Monday morning with a day that I had somewhat planned- which is pretty much all I even feel I could do. I had a basic outline and schedule which included picking up my clients at 9:30 AM from the Waldorf, heading over to the hospital to visit some soldiers at 10, I was going to visit a hostage family at some point in late morning and take their son to a carnival that I was hoping my clients would be inspired to help sponsor after meeting him. As well in the evening I had made up to bring pizza to soldiers for Rosh Chodesh  and sing and dance with them a bit and be home back in Jerusalem about 8 or so. Sounds like an amazing day right? I thought it did and was quite proud of myself for putting all those little pieces together to make it happen. Things had clicked. Hashem had gotten me all the right appointments I needed. The timing seemed great.  Little did I know that He was just playing with me. He was having some pre-Purim Rosh Chodesh Adar fun with His Yeled Sha’ashuim- Ephraim Schwartz- His personal little play-toy.

I wake up in the morning to go to davening to the sight of an empty parking spot where the mechanic who had taken my car a week ago and who had promised me that I would see my car in the morning, as he would leave it there for me. Well, the car wasn’t there. I called him up frantically and listened to his Israeli excuses about why my car wasn’t there. The truth is I really didn’t listen. It was irrelevant. I needed my car. I had tourists to pick up. What was I supposed to do? He did the Israeli “ahh jahst tek ah Ohto-buuuz to mai houzzz in Givat Zev”. I wasn’t taking a bus in the morning in traffic. I didn’t have time for that. And that’s how I knew that my day was already going to be different. Here we go again.

 I walked out of the BNB that I stay by to try to get a cab and lo and behold one just pulled up just as I exited. Ok… that’s nice and convenient. The cab driver asked if I had ordered him, I told him I didn’t to which he responded that he really wasn’t working then. He had just come to have coffee with his mother up the block. I begged him to give me a ride to Givat Zeev to get my car. It was strange that he wasn’t jumping at the fare, but I just wrote it off to typical “I’m -doing-you-a-favor-by-taking-you” Israeli version of customer service and gratefully got into his cab. I was wrong though. Because as we started to schmooze, he told me that he really doesn’t work that much anymore at all. He pretty much stays at home most of the time. You see his son was murdered at the festival. Not only was his 24-year-old son Amit killed, but his son’s fiancé Nurell and her sister Roya were killed there together with him. I slowly started to understand why my car wasn’t where it was supposed to be parked this morning. Hashem had other plans for me today.

 While we drove to Givat Zeev where he lived, his wife Orly who pretty much hasn’t left the house in 5 months called. She didn’t sound in good shape at all. He told me she hasn’t slept more than an hour or two straight a night in the past few months As well his 22-year-old son Omer called in. He had a dream last night that his brother came to him and he told him that everything would be b’seder. I didn’t know that I was the b’seder Hashem had sent. But now I did. I told Yossi, that I would be over later that night with my group of chizuk givers and thus my crazy day on Hashem’s plan commenced.

After I jumped in my car and quickly davened at Belz down the block I rushed backed to the Waldorf. I after all had to pick up my people to go to my appointment in the hospital with the soldiers. At least I thought I did. It seems I was wrong though. See, because about 15 minutes away my hospital contact called me to tell me that they were running late. I would need to push off my visit for an hour. Hashem was generous and gave me 15 minutes to pull this off, and so I quickly called my friends in Chabad of Katamon where they make about 3000 sandwiches a day for children of refugees and Reservist wives who have enough on their plate- excuse the pun and asked if they needed a hand or two for about an hour to help, which of course – another pun there, they did. Good. Baruch Hashem! Making sandwiches this morning just became part of our itinerary, I told my tourists as they got in the car. Or at least His itinerary.

 As we were wrapping up the sandwiches- these terrible puns keep coming- quite literally. They called again from the hospital to tell me that I had another hour to fill as the soldiers we were meant to meet were not yet out of therapy. Oy… Hashem is really playing with me here… I quickly made a phone call and whadaya know? My good friend at Eretz Chemda was relieved to hear my voice, as he just got 20,000 pairs of tzitzis just dropped off by the army for soldiers that needed whatever hands and time I could spare to help make. So now we’ve got tzitzis making on Hashem’s itinerary. OK… I’m flowing with this…

Finally, we finish the tzitzis and are making our way to the hospital. The visits with the soldiers and the Osim Samayach organization was incredible (donate below!). The soldier’s stories were one after another mind-blowing. (you really have to start watching my daily whatsapp statuses to appreciate all of this! Send me an email with your number or better yet message me at +972-50-597-0649 and I’ll add you). What they’ve done. Their passion. Their faith. Their sacrifice. What they’ve lost and how much they want to keep doing and seeing this through until the end. By the third soldier however I realized that my plans were going to have change again.

See one of the couples that was supposed to come with me and help sponsor the carnival I had planned to join had to cancel and didn’t come along that morning. The one woman, Ilana, who did come was my only potential sponsor left and I really wanted to take her to this hostage family. They really needed to meet her, and she really needed to meet them. They needed her special neshoma and chizuk that she could give. But she had told me in the morning that she needed to be back at her hotel at 2:00 PM, as she hadn’t really spent time with the grandchildren she had come to visit. Well now, because of all of the delays it was not going to happen. It was already 1:15 and I wasn’t going to be able to make it to their house and have a meaningful visit and get here back on time.

All of this is racing through my brain as we’re meeting our last soldier and he’s telling us about how he was injured when the building he was “clearing” in Chan Yunis had been blown up by an RPG. As he’s talking and I’m already giving up hope and planning in my mind to just take her back to the hotel and go with the other family to visit the hostage family and figure out how to pay for this carnival, the soldier says something that catches my ears. He tells us how not only was he wounded in Gaza, but in fact he was at the festival as well on October 7^th and he was rescued from there by a security guard that was incredible and was good friends with his other friends there. Would you believe it? The guard that helped his friends and him was none other than Rom Breslavsky the hostage in Gaza whose mother we were on the way to meet, who really didn’t have too much information about her son from and since that morning when he was taken. I videoed his story for his mother and Ilana with tears in her eyes turned to me and told me that she is obviously going to come with me to the hostage family. Hashem had His plan and tour and she was on board!

 So we headed out to their house blown away that out of all of the soldiers in the world, Hashem found the one that he wanted us to meet to bring this video to his mother. He even rearranged our schedule a bit so that we would have the perfect timing to meet him. When we arrived, it was perfect timing as well. Sivan, Rom’s aunt had just gotten there with the younger brother Ziv. And yet much to my surprise Ziv decided that he wasn’t interested in my carnival, and he ran off to the mall with some friends. Oh well, no carnival now…

The truth is I didn’t really have a sponsor anyways at this time, but now once again I had to make new plans. While Ilana and the other family were talking to Rom’s mother who was really emotional about the video and their meeting, I was on the phone trying to figure out where I was going next. Baruch Hashem my farmer Shachar said that he would be able to meet with me as he ahd lots of lettuce and greens that he needed help harvesting. So I thought at least I was good to fill up my former carnival slot until our soldier pizza delivery. Perfect! Thank You Hashem! But I was wrong. Hashem still had fun in His bag to play with me. This was just another part of His game.

 We left the Breslavsky family after our emotional visit. Ilana and the family exchanged numbers and they promised to be in touch-which is really the most important part of our visits. These families need constant chizuk and the meetings we have are really for my good people from America to adopt the people that we meet and to be their lifelines. About 20 minutes from Beit Shemesh though on the way to the farm, Shachar my farmer called me to tell me that he had to apologize but he got called out and wasn’t going to be able to meet with us. I turned my eyes to heaven at that point and just smiled. Hashem is really in an Adar mood. v’nahapoch hu meant that he was going to turn around my whole day.

 Desperate for something to do I made a quick call to my friend from the Beef Jerky boys in Beit Shemesh and asked if we could come on over and help him out prepare and package some good cow for our chayalim, so they have some basar in the belly when they wipe out Amalek. It’s hard to really get into the spirit with tuna fish from their army rations. He was a little hesitant as he had another group there at the present, but once they left, we would be fine. So we could come over and hope for the best. I was beyond hope. I had faith. Hashem was driving our day and He’s usually on target and doesn’t waste any of my time. And I was right.

Just as we pulled up, the other group packed out (actually I had the wrong address and by the time we got to the right address the other group was literally just walking out!).We had a blast slicing and preparing the beef Jerky knowing the soldiers would be getting the necessary protein they needed that evening thanks to us and then we popped out to daven Mincha with the boys. When we came back though Chani, the mom on our group told us that she now understood why we had to come to the Beef Jerky instead of the farming. For she had been given a new job while we were davening which was to put stickers on each bag that they had just printed up. The stickers had the names of hostages that one could daven for and have in mind when they made their blessings. The stickers that we were putting on today?  None other than Rom ben Tamar’s! Hashem had sent us there so I can send Tamar a video of them so that she would know that even though Ephraim Schwartz and his friends may have left their house. But Hashem had not forgotten about them or Rom. He was still with them. She still could have faith and chizuk.

From there it was off to pick up the pizza for soldiers and bring them some Adar cheer. It was fun, amazing as it always is. You can’t imagine what a few slices of pizza and the knowledge that appreciative Americans flew across the ocean to bring them can do to build our army’s morale. Finally our incredible day on Hashem’s itinerary concluded going over to Yossi my taxi driver from the mornings house where we hugged, cried, comforted and sang with him with Orly and their son Omer over the loss of Amit. Yossi told me as I was leaving that after that cab ride in the morning (which felt like a year ago) he spoke to Amit’s fiancée’s grieving father, Menashe, who had lost his two daughters and they both decided that this was a sign from heaven that they needed to do something more for the neshomos of their children. They had already put out a Tehillim, a birkat Ha’Mazaon and even a Tikun klali, yet today they decided they were going to do the ultimate memorial. They were going to try to raise money for a Sefer Torah for their children. We were the first to contribute to this new campaign, that Hashem had decided was an important part of His plan. And thus our day came to an end. The story and book is over. Welcome to my life.

 On that note this week’s parsha is also the conclusion of a Book; the book of galus and geula- exile and redemption, as the Ramban calls it, the book of Shemot. Our book started off with us going down to Egypt. With names. Each Jew, each family. We are each special. We are stars that Hashem counts. The book concludes however with the final verse that tells us that Hashem is with us in all of our travels. He is there l’einei kol beis Yisrael b’kol ma’aseihem- the cloud and the fire of Hashem is there day and night wherever we go. It’s a strange verse and ending. Parshat Ma’asei with our travels doesn’t come until the end of Bamidbar. At this point in time historically we were a few days away from Israel. What travels? Where were we going? Why is this the end of the book of redemption? We’re still in Galus. We haven’t come home yet.

The answer is because the function of redemption, the purpose of the Creation, is when we realize and experience that Hashem is with us in all our travels. Hashem doesn’t need a home down here. It’s quite nice up in heaven. He created this world so that He could be with us. So that He could live with us. So that He could hold our hands on every trip, on every journey, in the darkness of night and in fire and in the morning in the light. The Mishkan isn’t and never was about a building campaign. It was about the shechina residing in each and everyone of us always.

 Each and everyone of us, we find out in this week’s final ‘closing credits parsha’, has every screw, every bolt, every pillar, every gold, silver and copper accounted for. There’s nothing left over. Each person’s donation is there. That’s what this week’s boring parsha is about. Nobody stays for the ending credits of a movie. Well, almost nobody stays. The mother whose child is the screenwriter, the 10 year old boy who’s father was the extra in that street scene. They’re waiting to see their names in lights. We each play in an important essential part of the parsha, in the Mishkan. We each have a contribution that is mentioned and accounted for.

 The parsha tells us Hashem is walking with us every day. He’s journeying with each of us all the time. He’s got your sandwich for gan in the morning with Rabbi Schwartzes crew from America to make it, even though you might think Hashem abandoned you when He threw you out of your home or your father is fighting in Gaza. He has your tzitzis taken care of and made this morning even though you may have never worn a pair before, despite the fact that they don’t sell any in Chan Yunis where you’re serving. He’s going to visit you in the hospital and the shechina is resting on top of your bed. He’ll even let you send a message to the family of the security guard who saved you and give them strength. It’s not a big deal for the Creator of the World. He’s right there with you. He’s actually Planned the entire day around you. That is redemption. That’s the book that we concluded. We are the credits that are scrolling down the screen. We are the names and Shemot that went down to exile and we are each the precious stones on the breastplate of the Kohen and the bolts and brackets of the home of Hashem. The movie is almost over. The last names are gone, the final sacrifices Hashem took from us that are sitting next to His holy throne of glory are waiting to accompany that shechina down here to its final eternal resting place. Chazak Chazak Vi’nitchazek!

Have a joyous Shabbos and an exuberantly happy Adar again!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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CHIZUK/TZEDAKA OPPORTUNITY OF THE WEEK

Just when you thought this E-Mail couldn’t get any longer… well here it goes. It's been 158 days of War and this essential column is dedicated to giving you readers an opportunity to have a meaningful part of helping out our country and nation by donating to a weekly link of a different organization, a cause, soldiers, refugees, supplies, Hostage families, widows, farmers etc…

There are so many needs and I know that you want to participate and help them not just read about them. So each week I will feature in our E-Mail in this column another cause and link that you can contribute and make a meaningful difference to. (this of course should not come at the expense of your sponsorship of my weekly E-Mail or our upcoming Purim appeal iup above! 😊) But this is a way that you can bring light and money to the so many that need it. Give what you can. But give regularly and if you can I’d really appreciate if if you send me a screenshot or message of your donation as I can then forward it to whoever receives it so they know that it came from our helpful readers. So here we go…

 

Osim Sameach- Dovid Tzarfati is one of the most amazing young men I have ever met. About five years ago as a young yeshiva student then and currently learning in the Chevron Yeshiva he had a car accident in the Golan Heights with some friends of his where sadly some of them died. He himself was hospitalized for many months and during his stay he came to appreciate how miserable hospitals are and how an important part of the healing process is having visitors, guests and good food brought to you. Thus upon his full recovery he studied to become a paramedic and then utilizing and developing many contacts in the medical world as well as in the hospitals he began a volunteer organization where thousands of volunteers from seminaries and schools as well as guest come and visit and bring gifts and food to patients and most of all Simcha. Coffee, popcorn, carnivals for children, musicians, clowns, and special events as well as being a loving caring heart and support fro every family in hospitals all over Israel.

During Corona Dovid’s teams visited people in their homes and brought them cheer and food and now with the war they have become the address for the many that want to volunteer and visit soldiers and bring them the cheer that is so necessary to the hundreds that are in Tel Hashomer- Sheba, Shaarei Chesed and hospitals all around Israel. Their efforts cost a lot fo money and you may not be here in Israel to visit those soldiers. But won’t you please donate and help Dovid and his incredible organization?

 PLEASE DO AND SEND ME SCREENSHOTS OF YOUR DONATIONS SO I CAN FORWARD TO DOVID and let him know that our Readers love him and appreciate his hard work for our soldiers.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MTU0pOlpLY   

 And here’s the link to donate

 https://www.charityextra.com/charity/osimsameach/admin

 

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" A mayse uhn a moshl iz vi a moltsayt un a tsimes.”- A story without a moral is like a meal without a sweet dish.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

31.The peacocks tail is an expression of communication between animals and it is called_______.

Which of the following birds is considered an invasive species?

A. Tristram's starling

B. Common Myna

C. Eurasian coot

D. The Great Tit

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/yiddelach   – In Honor of PURim MY latest new release… Its; the only song I’m posting this week. You just have to listen to it five times… If You want the Rap at the end… IT’s amazing… Tell me how much you love it…

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOE9N6yIlEM   -  Shoshanas Yaakov new tune from the one and only Yehudah Green!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHWuF50uVH4 – Incredible song by Shlomi Shabbat composed by Yossi Hershkovitz who was killed in Gaza and a father, teacher and inspiration to all. Hauntingly called Gam Ki Eilech B’Gai Tzalmaves as I walk in the shadow of death.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5K6peWWEDI – Found this really amazing song Malachim ba’madim- angels in uniform! Go soldiers!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wfOrbgIKpw   – Benny Friedman and Moshe Tishler on a Am Yisrael Chai Mashup!

 

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK

100 Sockets- The parsha is called counting. Pikudei. I’m not a numbers person. It’s already boring. Yet each number, each bit of gold and copper that was given had to be accounted for. The Torah gives us the exact number of everything. But to be honest, I really don’t care much. That is of course until I understood that there is an eternal lesson in each number. Perhaps the most essential one though of all is the one hundred sockets or “adanim” that were donated. The Baal Ha’Turim and other commentaries note that the verse contains in it a secret plague-stopping secret. The Navi tells us that in the times of Dovid Ha’Melech he sinned and brought an evil eye amongst the people by counting them. We’re not supposed to count people. We use tzedaka or verses to count them. Yet when Dovid did that a plague broke out and from that time our sages tell us that the cure for that plague or the vaccine perhaps even more accurately so the plague doesn’t fall upon is to recite 100 blessings each day. For the money of the half shekel went to those silver sockets. They didn’t come from the regular donations but rather from the mandatory half shekel count.

 What’s the connection between sockets, blessings, counting and plagues, I’m sure you’re wondering? The answer the Chidushei Ha’rim is that the word socket oden- is like the word Master. It is understanding that Hashem is at the nuts and bolts of everything. A plague happens when we don’t see Hashem. When He’s covered up. The word mageifa-plague in fact is in Aramaic the same word to cover up and seal a barrel magufa. When things don’t function normally it means that Hashem’s light is somehow being blocked. There’s a screw that’s loose. The bolt is not firmly in the socket. Or as they say in Hebrew the teka isn’t in the sheka. So we have to say blessings. One hundred times a day to keep everything functioning smoothly. To tighten our connection. To remain plugged in.

 When we count each person, then they just become another number. 51, 52, 53… They’re part of one whole and frankly are irrelevant in of itself. It’s what the Nazi’s tried to do to us when they tattooed a number as they came into Aushwitz on their arms. Hashem tells us that when we do that we are blocking the light of His presence. It brings a plague. A mageifa. Thus in order to restore that we have to recite a blessing. We have to bring out that light again. We daven three times a day. That turns on the power for all day, afternoon, and evening for all of the blessing to flow. But it doesn’t end there. Each day we have to as well make sure we are counting the blessings that we receive throughout the day. To see Hashem and let His light shine out. In that way we always will stay connected.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

722 BC-Exile- So the time of the eventual exile of the ten tribes commenced. This week we read the parsha of Pikudei which Rashi states utilizes the word Mishkan twice as it is a collateral for the two temples that would be destroyed. The beginning of the end of our life in Israel in the first commonwealth is with the exile of Sancheirev or Tiglet Pilessar or Shalmenessar who according to some were all different names of the same person. The exile of the ten tribes took place in three phases. The first was in the 20^th year of Pekach when Assyria attacked him and Aram and the Northern and Eastern portions of Israel were exiled. Hoshea then became king.

 The next phase was 8 years of peace as a vassal state under Assyria and then Pul came down and basically exiled 7/8 of the remaining tribes and we lost the Jews of Reuvein and Gad on the eastern banks of Jordan and the ones that had been up in Damascus. As well the temples of Yeravam and the golden calves were destroyed and thus Hoshea opened up the gates to Jerusalem as we mentioned last week. We had the opportunity to become a united nation from the tragedy, but we didn’t.

 The final blow came when Hoshea stopped paying tribute and decided to go for his independence by holing up with Egypt in the South. That was the straw that broke the camels back. Sancheirev wouldn’t put up with this. This was the 7^th year of his reign. And Sancheirev came and sieged Israel for three years until he destroyed them and exiled the tribes to the other side of the Euphrates, some suggest in Turkey or Iraq somewhere near Ninveh. Yet to make matters worse it wasn’t just that Sancheirev exiled the nation as well, he moved new inhabitants in. We will learn about the Shomronim next week and what they did to us. And maybe even see a Purim connection as well.   

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE BEEF JERKY JOKES OF THE WEEK

 Sometime in the 1970s, on an absolutely freezing day, a shipment of meat arrives in a town in the Soviet Union. The townspeople, bundled to their eyeballs, line up outside the town store to wait to be given their rations. After about an hour, a man comes out of the store and announces,

 "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so the Jews have to leave." The Jews in the line leave grumbling.

 About an hour later, the man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so anyone who is not a member of the Communist party will have to leave." More grumbling as the non-Party members depart.

 Another hour goes by and the man comes out of the store again and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone in the line, so anyone who wasn't a member of the Party before 1956 has to leave." More grumbling as all the younger Party members leave. A few old people remain in the line.

 Another hour goes by. It's now getting dark and it's cold. The same man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't any meat. Go home."

 One old lady in the line turns to her neighbor and says, "See? It's like I told you. The Jews always get the best treatment ..."

 A woman's poem

He didn't like my salt beef

And he didn't like my cake.

My kichel were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't make the borsht right

He left the cholent stew.

I didn't wash his gatkes…

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and gave him a potch...

Like his mother used to do.

 

Do not use "beef_stew" as a password! It's not stroganoff.

 I said to the woman at the deli, “I’d like to buy a corned beef and pastrami, with pickles.”

She replied, “Sorry... We only take cash or card.”

 

Difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef

 I saw Han Solo crying while eating his beef. Later I asked why. He said it was chewy.

  I’ve started investing in stocks; beef, chicken and vegetable. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

 Christians, Muslims, and Jews are always fighting, but Hindus never have any beef......

 When vegans get into an argument is it still called beef?

I have no idea. But if it gets physical, all vegans know the art of foot karate. They call it tofu.

 I went to the store for some beef broth. But they were all out of stock

 If a mass of beef fat is 'tallow', and mass of pig fat is 'lard', what is a mass of human fat called?'American'.

 When vegans have an argument, is it still beef? No. It’s leaf.

 Yankel goes into a fancy Israeli restaurant and orders the main dish special of the day. After a few bites he calls his waiter over and says “Waiter! Is this a Prime Rib or Filet Mignon?

“ Can't you tell by the taste of it?” Dudu asks him back

“No!”

“Then why do you care?”

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 The answer to this week”s question is B– This is one of those questions that there is no question I would’ve skipped. I had no idea. Nor do care about the answers. But hey I got it half right. But that’s mostly luck. Mostly luck because I eliminated the tristramite which is all over Ein Gedi and they’re pretty friendly birds. I went with Myna which is the correct answer because it has an annoying whiny sounding name. The first part of the question about peacocks though I had no clue and frankly coulnd’t care less about what I discovered is called the ahndicapped evolutionary principle. Which is basically that if you take a handicap and pretend it’s a a strong point then you can win. It’s like a migoo in gemara talk. Basically the colorful tail is a handicap because it makes you more vulnerable to predators. So the fact that the peacock struts its tail is showing that it’s not scared of enemies and means it must be strong. So the more it struts its tail the cooler the females thin it is. There’s a message in that, but I’m too tired to think about it. Well anyways I’m still on my 50/50 streak so the score is Rabbi Schwartz at 22 points and the MOT having 8 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

 

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