Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
January 4th 2020!!! -Volume 10 Issue 11 7th Tevet
5780
Parshat Vayigash
Siyum Smush
Crowds are not
my thing. The pushing, the shoving, the body press the sweaty palms jumping up
and down holding hands, yeah not for me…I avoid them when possible. I moved
from New York to Iowa for a reason. Now don't get me wrong I am a people person
and I love a good party. It's just when you have thousands of Jews pressed against
each other and there's no room to breathe or move; forget about if I have to
make a quick early exit. Not fun. Keep me away.
Now being a
fun-loving frum Jew and Rabbi to boot there are some times when this
cannot be avoided. Simchas Torah we pack together and do the yeshiva shuffle,
weddings and bar mitzvas as well. Being someone that makes a lot of money off
of the tomb of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai as so many tourists like to visit what I
like to call the "Kotel of the North" I have to make my appearance
and show my appreciation by visiting on Lag Ba'Omer, although I usually go in
and out at about 7:00 AM when the new revelers haven't come yet and the
previous night's crowd still hasn't awakened from their hangover. I manage
through those festive events and take a long shower afterwards and I'm good.
But I try to avoid extraneous push and shove-or smush and shtup
might be more yiddishely accurate- situations.
So this week
was the Siyum HaShas. I was at the siyum in New York two times ago when
I still lived back in the States and it was pretty amazing. But I was thankful
that this one with 90,000 people wasn't an option for me. There was one in
Yerushalayim as well simultaneously as the one in New York, but frankly I
wasn't that motivated to shlep the 2 hours over to Yerushalayim to
participate. Israeli pushing and shoving smush sessions are decidedly
worse than the American scene where at least some of modicum of personal space
is apologetically tried to be observed. In Israel you become one with the crowd.
I had a wedding that night so it was a good excuse as well. But when I came
home afterwards and started watching the videos of the live-feed I felt that I
missed something special. Klal Yisrael was celebrating a huge milestone. Torah
had flourished in the world as it never had before. Tens of thousands of simple
regular Dr. Yankels, attorney Berels esq., mortgage broker Duvies and actuary
Chaim'ls had studied a page a day for 7 and half years and had completed the
entire 2711 and pages of the Talmud in that time, something I have attempted
quite a few times, but to be honest I've had diets that lasted longer. And here
I was just watching that celebration on my little laptop.
They sang Ani
Maamin and remembered the martyrs and ancestors that were certainly looking
down from heaven shepping nachas from their descendants who had managed
not only to pick our nation up from the ashes but to live the legacy that they
probably never even dreamed about. I watched them dance hand to hand Jew to Jew
of all stripes shapes and backgrounds and I wanted to dance with them. I
listened to the speeches, the stories and heard the holy words that have been
recited for over 1500 years as Jews throughout all our exiles and all over the
world have recited upon achieving the milestone of completing this ancient
source of all our wisdom and the secret of our survival.
Hadran alach
daatan alach lo tisnashi minach- we should return to you, our thoughts should be
about you we should never forget you.
And here I was
sitting on my laptop, looking across at the many yet unopened tractates sitting
across from me on my bookshelf and I felt left out. I wanted to share in their
simcha. Somehow that would make it mine as well. For I was one with them. The
Torah connected to me.
Thank God there
was another siyum Hashas here in Karmiel yesterday evening. I guess we're a
little slower than you guys over there. Or maybe it was for the
Yankel-come-lately guys like me. It was a mob scene of a few hundred people or
so, which is pretty impressive for Karmiel. I've got a few friends that pulled
me through the crowd and tried to sit me on dais with all the other Rabbis, but
I politely declined.
If there's one thing I dislike more than smush
crowds it's sitting on a dais by events like this. Besides the
self-consciousness of everyone look at me. Is my tie straight? Is it covering
up the stain on my shirt? Is my head tilted just right? Will they snap a
picture just as I'm reaching for a cup of water? They will. But over there on
top I actually have to pretend to be interested in most of the speeches, that I
really am not too interested in. I'm kind of a speech snob and unfortunately
not too many people can hold my interest for more than a few minutes. And yet
they go on and on and on, pretty much saying the same thing everyone else has
again and again. See and up there on the dais I can't yank out my smartphone
and check my E-mails to pass the time. So I prefer to stay down with the crowd
in a nice corner. So I turned down the offer and pointed to my son Tully and
said I want to sit with him (and my phone) and they thought I was a very good
father.
The Siyum began
and it was awesome. Some of the speeches were fantastic and inspiring. The
music was great and when I grabbed everyone's hand and started the dancing
around the room everyone else joined in. See, I don't mind being the center of
attention. It just has to be on my terms. But there was no center of attention
during the rooms dancing. The center was the Torah, the Talmud, the Mesaymin-
the ones who had finished and started again that evening the next cycle. Yisrael
v'Oryasah v'Kudsha Brich Hu chad hu- We and the Torah and Hashem were one
in the room last night. I imagined all this energy and light this week was
similar to Mt. Sinai. Can you imagine the dancing after the ten commandments?
That mountain must have rocked. That's what I felt that's what I thought about.
It felt so pure and uplifting I didn't even want to shower when I came home. I
wanted it to last forever.
But then I had
to write this E-Mail. And I thought about the appropriateness of this week's
Parsha, my Bar Mitzva one by the way, and the week's events. To a large degree
this week is also a siyum of sorts in the Parsha. The saga of Yosef and his
brothers started two weeks ago and now they are finally all together and
united. The differences between Yosef and Yehuda and the other tribes are all
worked out. This reunion perhaps comes at the realization of Yehuda that he
can't leave Binyamin behind with Yosef.
That
unification of the brothers is an eternal message. It is this speech of
Yehudah, the longest anyone ever made in the Book of Bereishis until now that
is the secret of how to achieve that unification. The Chasidic Rebbes see in
this speech of Yehudah a hint to our relationship with our Father in heaven;
Avinu, Hashem. The lad, Binyamin who is young represents the Jews that are
still young in their spiritual growth. Yosef, in Yehudah's mind is the brother
that left the path. That has been written out of the story of the Jewish
people. Yehudah and the tribes understood that this conversation with the
viceroy of Egypt was the hand of Hashem. The conversation he was having was one
that reflected and reviewed the story with an eye to Hashem and what he wanted
of them. With that understanding take a
new look at the verses.
Bereshis
(44:19) My master asked his servants if we have a father or brother?
Do we have a
Father in heaven? Do we have a brother that is not worthy that is preventing
our relationship with Him and causing all of this friction, trouble and
anti-semitism
Ibid(44:20) And
we said to our Master we have and elderly Father and a young child of his old
age, and a brother that is dead and he remains alone to his mother and he is
loved by his father.
The word
old-zekunim is a reference to wisdom; zeh kanah chochma. Binyamin is still
young in his spiritual wisdom in Torah. But he is loved by his father. He is
like an only son for every child is special and has a place and purpose to
fulfill. Yosef however is dead.
You told us to
bring down that son, but we cannot. His Father will die. Hashem's name can only
be fulfilled if every Jewish child is connected to Him. Without the young
Jewish child who has not yet learned we cannot be am Yisrael chai.
But you
insisted you told me that we can never see your face without the child with us.
Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev notes that the same is true for Hashem. We
cannot see His Face, without the child who has not yet learned. We can't just
be concerned with our own spiritual growth. We need to worry about the child's
as well. It's all in the circle or all out. Hashem, our Father's face can only
be seen through all of us together.
It was not easy
getting this child from our father. Our father was scared that he would also be
swallowed alive as we told him Yosef was.
Eich eh'eleh el
avi v'hanaar aneninu iti- How can I return my father and the lad is not with me.
V'nafsho
keshura b'nafsho- his soul is
bound with his soul.
Reb Meir
Permishlan notes it is a question we all have to ask. How can we come to Hashem
if we don't bring the "Binyamins, Bennys, Bibis and even Bradleys with us?
Our souls, that come from our Father are bound with theirs. The Baal Haturim
notes that bond, keshura- is the same gematria as Torah. It is the Torah
that binds us all. Without one we are missing the revelation of Hashem. We
cannot see His face.
It is at that
point that Yosef, the brother that they thought they had lost that there was no
hope to ever return to their Father, revealed his true face as well.
Ibid (45:3) Ani Yosef Ha'od Avi Chai- I am Yosef,
is my Father still alive? You have recognized that Hashem can be found in
the Binyamins amongst you that have not yet learned. Can you see our Father,
can you see Hashem in me as well? I am the brother that you sold down to Egypt.
That you wrote off. That you threw out of your yeshiva. That you scorned at in the
street. That you felt was the epitome of evil and Judaism gone wrong and
distorted. That needed to be wiped out. That had no place amongst your exalted
stature. Geshu eilai- Can you
come close to me. Can you embrace me as well? Can I join your circle, can I
dance with you and our Father? Can you see that perhaps it was Hashem that sent
me down to where I am. Perhaps it was so that I may elevate and expand you as
well. Perhaps it was because it was from these depths I needed to uplift Hashem
in places where you holy rollers may never go.
And they
embraced. And they cried. And they were one. Hashem Echad.
Is there a
better parsha to read this week, I ask you? 90,000 Jews in New York are a lot of Jews. I
imagine from the videos I saw from all over the world that there were 10's of
thousands more celebrating. But there are so many others of our brothers and
sisters that thought this was just another Happy New Year's eve. But we haven't
written them off. We can't. Our Father showed us His presence by our Siyumim
around the world. But we want to see His face. We want them to join our dance.
We want to recreate the dance we must have had at Mt. Sinai millennia ago when
we all were there. We won't feel squished because we are all one.
Hadran aleihem- may we return to them
v'hadrach alon and may You return to us,
daatan aleiheim- may we never remove our thoughts,
prayers and efforts on their behalf, V'daatcha alon- and may You never
stop thinking about us
lo tisnashu
mineichem- May we never
forget all of our brothers and sisters.
V'lo tisnashi minon- And our Father will never forget us-
lo b'alma
hadein v;lo b'alma d'asi- not in this world or the next.
And as the prayer
ended by the siyum
Hashem oz l'amo
yitein Hashem yivaraych es amo ba'shalom- Hashem will give strength to His nation Hashem will
bless His nation with peace
KADDISH!- Yisgadel
V'Yiskadesh Shemei Rabba!- May His Name be great and sanctified.
Have a moiridekeh
Shabbos!,
Rabbi Ephraim
Schwartz
***********************************************
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“A ber lernt
men oykh oys tantsn "– Even a bear can be taught to dance
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://youtu.be/vc06J4w5gY4 – In honor of their Siyum Hashas the Razel
family- Yonatan, Aaron and Yehudah sing Achas Shoalti. Nice video to see these
famous singing and composing brothers all together.
https://youtu.be/vB5yaDpYavg – A very inspiriational Kel Malei Rachamim
for the martyrs of the Shoah with survivors by the Siyum
https://youtu.be/eaEIVwuoQ_0 - Beautiful Ani Maamin rendition with
90,000 Jews at Metlife Siyum Hashas
https://youtu.be/_ilpQayDF-Q
- This is My Home- an Ari Goldwag composition, Miriam Israeli
lyrics and Yitz Berry arrangements with new singer Duvie Shapiro- love the
words and the great scenes of our Home Eretz Yisrael!
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
6) A bird
invading the country in recent years:
A.
Cinereous vulture (black vulture)
- Jay (orvani)
- Parakeet (drara)
- Stork
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK
Hochayach
Tochayach Es Amisecha– The mitzva of rebuke – This week's Torah portion discusses the
perfect example of the fulfillment of this mitzva as Yosef confronts his
brothers and shows them the error of their ways in selling him down to Egypt.
Yosef had fabricated a whole scenario where the brothers recognize that
although Binyamin had been "caught" with the "stolen" goblet
of Yosef, they would and should give their lives for him rather than to see him
taken as a slave. They realized that the trauma and pain that it would cause to
their father as a result of losing his son would be too painful. They needed to
do everything they could to prevent that from happening. When Yosef reveals
himself to them they are flabbergasted and dumbfounded. All of their
preconceived notions about him fell away. They realized the error of their ways
and they cried with him over the lost years and all the pain they had caused.
That is the mitzva of rebuke.
The mitzva
mentioned above is a fascinating one. We find the great prophets that rebuked
the Jewish people. Eli rebukes Channa while she is praying in when he assumes
she is praying drunkenly and the Talmud derives that if someone sees something
inappropriate in their friend they are obligated to rebuke them about it. The
Rambam includes this mitzva in his list of mitzvos. The Chinuch says that it is
not only a positive commandment but he who fails to rebuke their friend is in
violation of the prohibition of standing by idly while the blood of your
brother is being spilled. If one is obligated to do whatever they can to save
the physical life of a fellow Jew then certainly their eternal life. This
mitzva as well is based on the concept that all Jews are responsible for one
another. Are destinies are intertwined and if one of is drilling a hole in our
boat we all can sink in the parable given by the Tana D'vei Eliyahu.
Now the Talmud
tells us that the mitzva to rebuke someone is until the point that the person
is ready to hit you. At the same time the Talmud also tells us that sometimes
it is better to be silent and allow a person to sin unintentionally when you
know they will not listen to you then to rebuke him and have him violate the
mitzva or prohibition intentionally which obviously makes it a greater sin.
Although this seems like a contradiction, the halachic decisors, make a
distinction between biblical laws that are explicit in the Torah where one
should always rebuke as opposed to a rabbinic commandment that if you are
positive it will not be heard it is better not to say anything. Even the
biblical commandment the Nimukei Yosef notes one only stops when he will be hit
is only by an individual. When one is a rebuking a public group when he knows
they will not listen it is better to only do it one time. He should do it one
time on the chance they may listen and so that they don't have an excuse later
that they were never told. You can draw your own conclusions about repeated
public demonstrations.
Now
interestingly enough the Torah specifies that the mitzva is for one who is
considered your "friend". The Biur Halacha states that one who through
his total removal of himself from that category by the willful violations of
the Torah's mitzvos is no longer in that category and therefore one is not
obligated to rebuke them. The Chazon Ish in perhaps one of his most
revolutionary rulings notes that Jews who were raised without a Torah
education, despite the knowledge they may have of the Torah and its
commandments, certainly in our era of mass and easily accessible information,
are not considered willful violators and one would still be obligated to rebuke
them. At the same time, he notes that today, sadly we don't have people that
can give rebuke properly, out of loving and caring for their fellow rather than
out of the sanctimonious and sometimes resentful protests that take place.
The word tochayach
rebuke is probably better translated as reprove. Yelling and fire and brimstone
lectures are not proving anything to anyone. The Rambam tells us that tochacha
needs to be done in a soft loving fashion. Just as Yosef, didn't yell at
his brother he created a scenario where they came to the understanding
themselves. Similarly, the prophet Nossan did that when he rebuked King David
by asking him a hypothetical question where he gave a ruling that proved his
own rationales for his personal sin was flawed. In fact Reb Chaim Volozhiner in
his work Keser Rosh (143) writes that someone who does not have it in his
nature to rebuke in a loving, non-judgmental way that can inspire someone to
repent is exempt from this mitzva as it will only cause hate and further sins
otherwise. The Talmud (Shabbos 119:)
tells us that the Jerusalem was destroyed because Jews did not rebuke
one another. This week on the fast of the tenth of Tevet as we remember the
beginning of that destruction let us also remember the cause of that destruction
was the lack of love and responsibility for one another that prevented us from
standing up and inspiring others to be better Jews.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN
ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Ezra HaSofer – 313 BC-
Continuing our chronological break in this column, let's pause this week to
talk about the great leader Ezra Hasofer who's yartzeit is the 9th
of Tevet this Monday. Our sages tell us that if the Torah wasn't given through
the hands of Moshe, Ezra would have been the next choice. In fact many of the
basic practices of Judaism and the Torah "culture" comes from his establishments. Our Hebrew
writing known as Ketav Ashuris-that we have today is from Ezra, the way that we
read the Torah and its establishment to be read during the weekdays comes from
him as well. He established many customs to prepare for Shabbos as well as to
encourage Jewish women to be more attractive to their husbands increasing the
holiness of the Jewish home.
It was he who led the
return to Eretz Yisrael from Babylonia and the rebuilding of the 2nd
Beit Hamikdash in Yerushalayim. This is something I like to talk about and
mention obviously when we look up at the Temple Mount from the Kotel
and discuss how Ezra's temple that was funded by Cyrus of Persia was more of a
small wooden shack then the great Temple of King Solomon or later of the
Maccabees or Herod who built the final complex.
As well, perhaps most
significant of his accomplishments, is the incredible ceremony that he held
upon coming to Israel and finding that many of the Jews were intermarried with
the nations that lived here. Can you imagine that within 70 years after
suffering a holocaust of the destruction of the first Temple that the majority
of Jews would be marrying out of our faith… I guess somethings never change.
What did change however was Ezra. He got up and mourned, and cried and put on
sackcloth and told the Jews that they had jeporadized the future of our people.
We are a Jewish nation that is meant to be proud and marry one another and
create a nation that will shine out to Hashem. Incredibly that speech stirred
to the Jews to action where they sent away their non-Jewish wives and returned
to the faith of their forefathers. There's a great picture of this speech in
David's Tower by the Jaffa gate in the museum there, where it goes through all
of the different eras of Israel and I like to talk about that there.
Perhaps the greatest
failure of Ezra was that he failed to inspire the Jews in Bavel to join him in
this historic return. It seems the Jews living in Israel despite non being
religious were able to be inspired much quicker to leave their wives and
families, then the Jews in Bavel were to leave their Kosher Pizza shops on 13th
avenue or in Lakewood or the five towns equivalent they had there. Maybe 10% of
the Jews went up with them. Mostly the shleppers, the ones that couldn't marry
into the nation and lots of Kohanim and Levites who wanted jobs in the temple.
It's hard for most people to wrap their brain around the concept that the
majority of Jews never even saw the 2nd Temple as they remained in
Bavel. Perhaps they sent their daughters there for a year in seminary, maybe
they came for their kids Bar Mitzvas, but mostly they just made their
"alimony payments' to the Jews who had returned to Jerusalem. Take my
money and leave me alone…
This is usually one of
my parting thoughts that I share with my tourists after experiencing a trip in
Eretz Yisrael and as they head off to Ben Gurion airport back to the
un-promised land from whence they came.
Now although Josephus
mentions that Ezra was buried in Yerushalayim with great ceremony, as
far as I know there is no place in Israel where his tomb is. It seems the
cemetery of Mt. of Olives which does date back to the first temple would
be the likely place though. Jewish tradition outside of Josephus however places his
grave in Iraq near the Tigris river by a village
named Al Uzair. The tomb is still there today and Jews and Muslims would go
there regularly to pray. Regardless where he's buried Ezra is one of the only
people in the history of Klal Yisrael who's yartzeit is remembered each year
when we fast on the 10th of Tevet when we recall the beginning of
the destruction of the Temples. Perhaps as we remember the destruction we are
also meant to remember that the beginning of the destruction really began
already in its early beginnings when the majority of Israel were not inspired
enough to come back home and rejoin the return to Zion that he led… I'm just
saying…L…
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S ISRAELI TERRIBLE SIYUM JOKES OF
THE WEEK
TOP SIYUM 2020
TWEETS
New York siyum
set a Guinness World Record for largest mechitza.
"I drove ALL THE WAY HERE from VERMONT, & this is the FIRST SIYUM I've been to that doesn't have any cake!" - Angry man at the Siyum HaShas.
Dear Frum rappers, "Daf Yomi" rhymes with "Macaroni." You're welcome.
"I drove ALL THE WAY HERE from VERMONT, & this is the FIRST SIYUM I've been to that doesn't have any cake!" - Angry man at the Siyum HaShas.
Dear Frum rappers, "Daf Yomi" rhymes with "Macaroni." You're welcome.
If someone
hasn't suggested it already, iit would be a great bit if someone dressed up in
a Waldo costume ... (and someone actually did and
probably got the most shared photo of the night!)
The gist: they tried to kill us, we survived, and now we're ridiculously smart.
Before the #Siyum ends SOMEONE needs to start the wave!
You think I'd get kicked out if I screamed out J E T S JETS JETS JETS!!! ?
What's 4 hours of traffic when your ancestors wandered in the desert for 40 yrs?
The gist: they tried to kill us, we survived, and now we're ridiculously smart.
Before the #Siyum ends SOMEONE needs to start the wave!
You think I'd get kicked out if I screamed out J E T S JETS JETS JETS!!! ?
What's 4 hours of traffic when your ancestors wandered in the desert for 40 yrs?
These Tzeduka collecters here are
probably going home with a nice amount. Imagine just 100K $1 bills.
Hashem took us
out of Egypt, gave us Israel, then he gave us MetLife Stadium.
Best
announcement heard at Siyum HaShas: "The Rabbis at the dais should enter
through the Bud Light gate."
Somebody'd
better turn off the TV screens in the bathrooms at the Siyum
HaShas broadcasting divrei Torah.
A Beautiful
Talmudic Mind
After months of
negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa was finally granted
permission to visit Moscow.
He boarded the
train and found an empty seat. At the next stop, a young man got on and sat
next to him. The scholar looked at the young man and he thought: This fellow
doesn't look like a peasant, so if he is no peasant he probably comes from this
district. If he comes from this district, then he must be Jewish because this
is, after all, a Jewish district.
But on the
other hand, since he is a Jew, where could he be going? I'm the only Jew in our
district who has permission to travel to Moscow.
Ahh, wait! Just
outside Moscow there is a little village called Samvet, and Jews don't need special
permission to go to Samvet But why would he travel to Samvet? He is surely
going to visit one of the Jewish families there. But how many Jewish families
are there in Samvet? Aha, only two -- the Bernsteins and the Steinbergs. But
since the Bernsteins are a terrible family, so such a nice looking fellow like
him, he must be visiting the Steinbergs.
But why is he
going to the Steinbergs in Samvet? The Steinbergs have only daughters, two of
them, so maybe he's their son-in-law. But if he is, then which daughter did he
marry? They say that Sarah Steinberg married a nice lawyer from Budapest, and
Esther married a businessman from Zhitomer, so it must be Sarah's husband.
Which means that his name is Alexander Cohen, if I'm not mistaken.
But if he came
from Budapest, with all the anti-Semitism they have there, he must have changed
his name.
What's the
Hungarian equivalent of Cohen? It is Kovacs. But since they allowed him to
change his name, he must have special status to change it. What could it be?
Must be a doctorate from the University. Nothing less would do.
At this point,
therefore, the Talmudic scholar turns to the young man and says, "Excuse
me. Do you mind if I open the window, Dr. Kovacs?"
"Not at
all," answered the startled co-passenger. "But how is it that you
know my name?"
"Ahhh,"
replied the Talmudist, "It was obvious."
Abe went to see
his Rabbi. "Rabbi," he said, "I would be grateful if you could
explain the Talmud to me."
"Very well, Abe," said the Rabbi, "First, I need to ask you a simple question."
"If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean, which one washes himself?"
"The dirty one," replied Abe.
"No, Abe. They look at each other. The dirty man thinks he is clean but the clean man thinks he is dirty and washes."
"Now another question," said the Rabbi.
"If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean, which one washes himself?"
Abe smiled, "You just told me that one, Rabbi. The clean man, because he thinks he is dirty."
"No, Abe." said the Rabbi. "They each look at themselves. The clean man knows he doesn't have to wash and the dirty man washes himself."
"Now one final question," said the Rabbi.
"If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other one comes out clean, which one washes himself?"
This time Abe frowned, "I don't know, Rabbi. It could be either one, depending on your point of view."
"No Abe," said the Rabbi. "If two men climb inside a chimney, how could either of them come out clean? They are obviously both dirty and so they both wash."
Abe was now thoroughly confused, "Rabbi, you asked me exactly the same question three times, yet you gave me three different answers. Are you playing games with me?"
"No, Abe, I would never joke with you. This is Talmud."
"Very well, Abe," said the Rabbi, "First, I need to ask you a simple question."
"If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean, which one washes himself?"
"The dirty one," replied Abe.
"No, Abe. They look at each other. The dirty man thinks he is clean but the clean man thinks he is dirty and washes."
"Now another question," said the Rabbi.
"If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean, which one washes himself?"
Abe smiled, "You just told me that one, Rabbi. The clean man, because he thinks he is dirty."
"No, Abe." said the Rabbi. "They each look at themselves. The clean man knows he doesn't have to wash and the dirty man washes himself."
"Now one final question," said the Rabbi.
"If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other one comes out clean, which one washes himself?"
This time Abe frowned, "I don't know, Rabbi. It could be either one, depending on your point of view."
"No Abe," said the Rabbi. "If two men climb inside a chimney, how could either of them come out clean? They are obviously both dirty and so they both wash."
Abe was now thoroughly confused, "Rabbi, you asked me exactly the same question three times, yet you gave me three different answers. Are you playing games with me?"
"No, Abe, I would never joke with you. This is Talmud."
Rabbi Aryeh
Kaplan was once asked if there are any jokes in the Talmud, and his response
was, “yes, but they’re all old.”
Answer is C– So one of the reasons, why I have
this section on my already long E-Mail is not only because I want to show you
how ridiculous this exam and the amount of trivial information we are required
to know to become a licensed tour guide in Israel. It's also to test myself and
actually even be forced to learn new things that I may not know. This is one of
those occasions. I had no clue about this answer. Vultures I knew were an
endangered species so I ruled them out. But after that I didn't have any idea.
I probably would've skipped this one on the exam. I guessed storks because I've
seen a lot of them around and didn’t think that parakeets or jays were invasive
species. But turns out that parakeets are. They throw out other birds from
their nests and they wreak havoc on the sunflower seed, dates and corn crops
amongst others. They're not native to here. But have made their way here and despite
how cute and pretty they maybe they're not great birds it seems. Well anyways I
got this one wrong so the new score is Schwartz 5 and 3 for MOT
(Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.
