Gilligan Schwartz -Parshat Tazria Metzora

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

May 2^nd 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 25 4^th of Iyar 5785

 

Parshat Tazria- Metzora

 Gilligan Schwartz

 

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale a tale of a fateful trip. That started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship. The mate was not a mighty sailin' man. He was a Tour guide Rabbi very unsure. He agreed somehow to sail that day with his son Tully and seven other Karmielim, for a five day tour… a five day tour…

 

Crash… Boom… Lightening…

The weather started getting rough.

The nauseous Rabbi’s lunch tossed.

 If not for the help of Hashem your weekly E-Mail writer would be lost…

The chulent provider of Karmiel would be lost…

 Your tour guide would be lost…

 

Yup… I’m back. I don’t know how much of this E-Mail I’ll get out this week. But hey, give me a break. It’s been an unreal crazy week Rabbi Gilligan Schwartz is back in Karmiel after a week out in the Greek Isles with Tully. (*check out video below in clips for the highlights.). It’s what we absentee tour guide fathers and Rabbis have to do for their children who they never see and spend quality time with because they’re working with other people’s children and tours all day… Usually one week together alone with their father gives them enough of a feeling that they’re not missing out on much… and lasts quite a while. Particularly the part about sleeping in the same small bed together for a week in our tiny little cabin. And hey I got a good deal, so how could I say no…?

Now,  I’m not a fan of leaving Israel, particularly the week of Yom Hazikaron and Yom Ha’Atzamaut. It seems Hashem knew that if I’m not around that there wouldn’t be a part here and so he just set the whole country on fire…

 

But don’t worry he didn’t let me off the hook too easily either. Despite the fact that we had an amazing trip, but that last two hours back to Athens Hashem made me pay. It was crazy winds. It was like being in a washing machine on tumble clean (Is that even a thing… I haven’t done a load of laundry since I get married. It was kind of the point, to be honest.) I guess Hashem wanted me to take this Eretz Yisrael is only acquired with tribulations thing seriously. Fascinatingly enough as I looked at the Luach historical calendar it told me that today is actually the date that the Rambam first arrived to Israel as well for his short visit here. Whadaya know? He had a storm and almost died as well coming here. He even established a family fast day for all of his descendants to commemorate that trouble he had coming here. I’m not a big extra fast day person. Neither is my wife and kids. But it’s nice to know that Hashem wanted me to have the full Rambam coming to Israel experience. Me and the Rambam… not bad…

 

There is so much I want to share with you guys and hopefully will, about the lessons learnt at sea. The highlights and the adventures. I’ve got material for good few E-mails… Now I just have to fit them into the upcoming parshiyos. But I’m too wiped and time is short. And as well, I’d like to share with you an incredible insight not about the trip, but about the coming back to Eretz Yisrael. But not just my return, the return of all of us. Our return after 250 years of exile from our land in Egypt and 40 years in the wilderness, and our arrival and entrance to the land, that took place 3000 years ago. Our return to the land with the leadership of Yehoshua and what took place, this Shabbos and this past week.

 

Let’s first get the calendar straight. We arrived on the banks of the Jordan River after 40 years of wandering in the wilderness on the month of Shevat. Moshe there tells us that entire book of Devarim and dies on the 7^th of Adar after which we mourn for him for a month. On the 7^th of Nissan Yehoshua sends spies into the city of Yericho, they hang out by Rachav Ha’Zonah’s house and they come back and give him the all clear. The land is ready to be conquered. (Incidentally they also solve the personal shidduch crisis Yehoshua who was an older bachelor was having, by redding him to her and she becomes his bashert. Thus setting the precedent that the real solution to the Shidduch crisis is by moving to Israel, where you don’t have to wait until Shavuos to find your bride…).

 

On the tenth of Nissan they cross the Yarden and it splits just like Yam Suf did for Moshe. It seems that if you want to come into Israel, you need to go through a stormy sea. It’s an essential experience. Today the Israeli bureaucracy involved in making Aliyah tries to duplicate that experience by the mishigas they put you through before letting you move here. The day that we come here we head up to the Mt Gerizim and Eival, we have blessings and curses, we bury Yosef’s bones in Shechem and then we come back down right outside Yericho by Gilgal where we erect the Mishkan and start getting ready for Pesach. Our first Pesach in the Holy Land. The first time we’re bringing a Pesach offering and lamb in Eretz Yisrael as a redeemed nation. That year Erev Pesach, as it was this year for us, fell out on Shabbos. An occurrence that won’t happen for another 20 years and doesn’t happen to often. Meaning that our calendar year of the week this year is the exact one as it was when we first came into the land. On that note, let’s see what happens next.

 

From that Friday night Pesach Seder they had 7 days of Pesach and then the day afterwards Sunday, as it was for us), they head on over to the city of Yericho to conquer it. But the conquering of Yericho is not going to be a fair battle. Hashem promised us He’s going to do the work. Our job is to circle the walls of the city for 7 days with Shofars and on the 7^th day, last Shabbos the 28^th of Nissan, Shabbos Mivorchim of Iyar, the walls came tumblin’ down. The miracle was huge. It was great. We were flying high. Hashem gave Yehoshua a command though, on that day before the battle. Hands off of everything. This is not your war. It’s Hashems. It’s sacred. Not only that but Yehoshua decrees that the city of Yericho is never to be rebuilt. Despite the fact that there is a mitzva to settle all of the land. But he wants us to remember this miracle. He curses anyone who builds the city, he curses and warns anyone from taking any of the booty. This is all on that first Shabbos, last Shabbos, in Eretz Yisrael.

 

One can imagine the euphoria of the Jewish people after that battle. It’s like the 6 day war, but even better. Our first conquest went off without a hitch. And then came this week. The week after. The next on our hit list was the ciy of Ai. Ai Ai Ai Ai Tziyon… You know that song. I’m sure they sang it. There as well he sent spies to check it out this past week. The spies come back and say it’s easy. It’s no problem. There’s no point in waking up the Minister of Defense. Send 2-3 thousand people and that’s it the city is ours. The First Responders could handle it all. Why bother the rest of the army? Sounds familiar?

 

Yeah… that didn’t work out that well. The city of Ai came out and chased them away and killed 36 soldiers that day. Welkam to Eezrael. The people are devastated. Their hearts turn to water, the pasuk tells us. They feel like they’re drowning in a sea, after a first beautiful week on a cruise. Yehoshua, their skipper, is broken. And then the word comes down from heaven, why this happened. It seems that all of Israel has sinned. They have disgusted Hashem. This is not a good thing. What did we do wrong?

Get ready for this guys… It seems one guy, Achan, a leader, couldn’t resist and he chapped a few things from the city of Yericho. Boom. The whole nation is in danger. The ship is sinking. Yehoshua uses the Urim V’Tumim to figure out who it is. He then tells Achan to confess. Which remarkably he does. He doesn’t ask to push off accountability until after the war and the settling of the land. He admits. He takes his punishment like a man. The Jewish people stone him to death. And remarkably our sages tell us that he goes straight to heaven. He has atoned. We have atoned. The storm is over. The real conquering of the land that we need to do- not miraculously with Hashem shofars and the Ark, but with our holy army and holy Chayalim. Our soldiers who understand and learned the lesson, that we are one nation, that we are responsible for one another in a very real visceral way. That the sin of one is the sin of all of us. That there’s no passing the buck. That if one person drills a hole in the bottom of the boat under his own seat, then we will all sink. We will all drown.

 

From there we go back to Ai. We take an army of thirty thousand this time around. We draw them out of the city. We ambush them. We burn it down while they’re gone. It’s cool. It’s like a blowing up beeper thing. We win the war. We settle the land. That’s what takes place this week. That’s our lesson when we come back home and return to the land.

 

The Gemara tells us that When Yehoshua surrounded the city of Yericho, each day they sang the Aleinu prayer as they shofared around the city. In fact that first letters of each sentence of Aleinu begins with a letter from Yehoshua’s name (backwards), or at least his original name Hoshe’a.

 

Aleinu Li’shabayach (Ayin)

Shelo Sam Chelkeinu- (Shin)

V’anachnu Korim- (Vav)

Hu Elokeinu Ein Od (Hei)

 

Even cooler than that is the second paragraph of Aleinu is Al Kein Nikaveh Lecha, begins with the letters of none other than Achan. The guy who taught us that most important lesson in his death. The one who admitted. The one who accepted his fate. The one who revealed the lesson to Bnai Yisrael how we are all responsible for one another. That the sin of one is the sin of us all. When we recite Aleinu each day, it is us saying that praise to Hashem. It is a prayer of us asking Hashem to reveal Himself to the world. To bring us to Eretz Yisrael. To build the Bais HaMikdash. To reveal the His Kingship to the whole world. To destroy evil.. Aleinu starts with the letter Ayin and ends with the Hashem yimloch l’olam va’ed- Hashem should rule for eternity. The last letter is Daled. The ayin and daled spell eid- a witness and testimony. That’s what we are saying. It’s what we are asking for. The other prayer that is similar to that which we say twice a day is Shema. The last letter of Shema is ayin and the last letter of Hashem Echad is daled. The Kingship of Hashem being revealed is dependent on His One-ness. And His One-ness can only be revealed when we are one as well.

 

There were two highlights for me on boat trip back to Israel. The first was each morning getting up and davening at sunrise in middle of the sea. It was glorious. I said Hallel two days, (and a third if I would’ve said it on Yom Ha’atzamaut 😊). I sang to Hashem about the splitting of the sea, the crossing of the Yarden, and of the glory of the sun rising over His creation. It was just me and Hashem on those mornings and we were so connected. It was awesome.

 

The second highlight was all of us lying out on a beach at night (or as Gilligan would say “an uncharted desert isle”) with the stars some Ouzo and a BBQ. We got to know one another. Who were the 7 of us? Well, we had Avremy, our skipper who was raised in a chareidi settler city in the heart of the West Bank and was a life coach, definitely not a millionaire. There was Yosef and his son. Yosef moved to Israel when he was 18 from the Ukraine, not even having learned that he was Jewish until he was 13. His father was a goy, and only his great grandmother on his mother’s side was Jewish. Yet being raised a few miles from Medzibuzh, where Yosef used to fish as a child from not far from the Ukrainian village he was raised in, seems to have had the light of the Baal Shem Tov penetrate his heart and his journey brought him to Israel, where he still fishes, but also learns every day and sends his children to cheder.

 

The other castaways on our boat, were Ronen, a sabra child of Russian Olim that was raised in Karmiel, Yishai, a young Morocan sefardi scribe, whose grandfather a Kabbalist who was blind and worked in Israel upon moving here as an engineer of quality control, and finally Eliezer a child of South African and American Olim who was raised in Chareidi yeshivos, studied in Kollel for many years, until becoming a lawyer, representing religious causes in Israel. And then it was me and Tully. Tully who moved here when he was not even one, and me, which is just too much to describe, and you know it all already. If not come on my tours for the life and times…

 

It was incredible how diverse and how different we all were. Our backgrounds, our upbringings, our lives, our goals, our experiences. Yet we were all on the same boat. We each saw a spark in one another. There was light that was coming out of that bonfire on the beach that was under the stars that was much brighter than the few logs that we threw inside. It was a fire that was coming down from heaven. It was the light of Hashem that shining down when Jews come together and realize we are all on one Islands. We are called Ivri, because of that Island that is different and separate from the rest of the world. That Island is called Eretz Yisrael. It’s from there that we will reveal the shechina when we all cross the sea to get here. When we each make it through our personal stormy exiles, our Egypts. When we come home.

 

The parsha this week is Tazria Metzora. It’s about the Jew that can’t stop speaking bad about others. He’s the hole in our boat. He gets thrown out of the camp. He needs to go through a purification of water and blood to come back in. He needs to have his offering shook up and down like waves of a stormy sea before he rejoins the nation. Eliyahu Ha’Navi and Mashiach are busy healing Metzoras. They’re fixing those sins of negativity and fighting that remain between us. They’re removing those bandages. We count to Shavous. And we are getting closer and closer to the return to Israel. To the revelation of Hashem. The prophet tells us that the ultimate redemption will come

 

Ki’yemei tzescha mei’eretz Mitzrayim- areinu niflaos- Hashem will show us miracles like the same days when we left Egypt. This year it’s the same days. May we merit to see the the conclusion of that verse

U’malah ha’aretz dei-ah es Hashem- and the world will be filled with the knowledge of Hashem

Ka’mayim la’yam michasim- like water covers the land!

 

Have an blaringly amazing Shabbos and a Chodesh Iyar Tov!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 " S'iz a shturem in a gloz vaser” - It's a storm in a glass of water

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

16. An outline of urban planning in which streets cross each other at right angles is called ______

In which 20th century decade, were most of the buildings in Israel constructed in the

“International” style built?

A. 1910-1920

B. 1930-1940

C. 1950-1960

D. 1970-1980

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://youtu.be/JG12V8lPE9k   -   Rabbi Schwartz and Tully Karmielim Greek Island Cruise!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhIgMrxVFl4  – Ari Goldwag’s latest Acapella Today’s the day!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhIgMrxVFl4   - Now Jewish Nanny  (formerly Non) cool Podcast from Meaningful Minute…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCMQch7Kea4   – In Reb Shayaleh’s hands…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

(Next week this column will IYH pick back up… stay tuned as we enter the era of the destruction of the Temple and should be a zechus for the rebuilding…)

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE SAILOR JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Which sailors blow their nose the most often? Anchor chiefs.

What is a sailor’s favorite type of detergent? Tide.

How does the sea say hello to a sailor? Waves

An old sailor once said that you could hear the calm before the storm. He said it sounded like a C flat.

Why do sailors like to eat carrots? Because it allows them to sea better.

Why don’t sailors like to go shopping for new hats? Because they are worried about capsizing.

What is a sailor’s least favorite type of vegetable? Leeks.

What’s a sailor’s favorite type of candy? Lifesavers.

Why can’t sailors play cards? Because they’re always standing on the deck!

 

Yankel and Berel are out enjoying themselves one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking.

Berel says to Yankel, "listen, Yankel, I have a problem, you know I don't swim well at all."

But luckily, Yankel remembered how to carry another swimmer from his lifeguard class years ago when he was just a youngster and so he begins pulling Berel towards safety. After fifteen minutes of this, however, Yankel begins to grow quite tired – all his energy had left him. And finally, just 100 feet from land, Yankel asks Berel, "So Berel do you suppose you could float alone?"

Berel replies, " Yankel, this is a heck of a time to be asking about money!"

 

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.

The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river."

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, but only after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength ... and the tools to cross this river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, but only after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools...and the intelligence... to cross this river." And poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.

 

A man wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. "I'll tell you what," he told her, "In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?"

Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side:

"For Sale.”

***************************************

The answer to this week”s question is B-  There is always one question at least on this exam that I will have no clue about. It’s why they only make you answer 30 out of 33 questions. This is the one that I would’ve skipped. I have no clue nor care about architecture Israeli style or history. I don’t think anyone really does. I didn’t even bother guessing this one. The answer to the first part is hypodemic, orthogenic or Grid and the answer to the second part is 1930-1940 (I guessed randomly 1970-1980) anyways this one was entirely wrong and thus the new score is Rabbi Schwartz 10 Ministry of Tourism 6 on this exam so far. Oy….

Reverse Psychology- Parshat Ekev 2024 5784

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

 

August 23^rd 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 44 19^th of Av 5784

 

Parshat Ekev

Reverse Psychology

 

Ok. It’s time for some reverse psychology here. It seems that is the only tactic that I haven’t tried yet. But I think that is what finally might work. See, as you loyal readers know, I was pretty sure Mashiach would be here by now. He should’ve came Chanuka or Purim. Both are great appropriate holidays of miracles. Pesach, I had no doubt he was coming as it was the holiday of redemption. I was sure I would open my door for Eliyahu and he would be here. He wasn’t….

 

Next was Lag Ba’omer, with the merits of Reb Shimon bar Yochai. For sure the holiday of Shavuos when Hashem has His big revelation. Maybe Yom Ha’Atzamaut, Yom Yerushalayim both pretty appropriate days that perhaps it was time all of Klal Yisrael should be celebrating already with the final salvation and that “beginning of the redemption” finally coming to the conclusion. How cool would that have been with the Beit Ha’Mikdash on top of the Har Ha’Bayit that was already somewhat bi’yadeinu. But nisht… It didn’t happen.

 

 The past month and half I have been getting more desperate. The months of mourning of Tamuz and Av were the months it would happen on. They would be turned to days of rejoicing as the prophets foretold. This stinking war would finally be over. We would finally have unity. We would finally destroy Amalek. All the Jews in America would get out on the wings of eagles before the goyim killed them all there. And once again, we sat on the floor and recited Kinnos and it was same-old bloody war same-old. We’re still here and no shofar blasts in the distance. Mashiach ain’t here.

 

The last holiday before the High holidays and Rosh Hashana which is the start of next year was Tu B’Av this past week. It was the last chance. Maybe… maybe… maybe… Nope. It didn’t happen either. So now it’s over. This Sunday is 11 months since 10/7 and there will be many azkarot for those that were killed on Simchat Torah, as their family members will conclude saying Kadish for them. 11 months, and he hasn’t come, and I finally realized why… It’s because Hashem likes to do the opposite of what I think and say He should do. He gets a kick out of showing me up each week to be the false prophet that I am. I get it. It’s fun. I like to do that to other people as well, particularly to big Rabbis. So I have to change tactics a bit. It’s time for some reverse psychology here.

 

So here’s the new platform, the new strategy to bring Mashiach. From here on in, the new game plan is to tell you all that we don’t really want Mashiach. Things are good here. We’re really fine. We have Bibi Netanyahu. We have great soldiers and an army. The truth is I like my shul in Karmiel and it’s a pain to shlep to Jerusalem to bring sacrifices. The Golden Pimple on the Temple Mount is actually not that ugly. It looks nice there. We really have a great life and thanks Hashem, but You really don’t have to make Yourself crazy killing out our enemies, getting back our hostages and bringing all the Jews on wings of eagles here to Israel. We’re all good.

 

See even the Jews over there in America are pretty fine, as well. Trump will take care of them. Even if Kamala wins, it’s still better over there. You know that they don’t really want to come. They have great yeshivos, good neighbors, meatboards, backyards and frankly none of them are really are that into the whole “Milk and Honey” thing. They’d rather have flayshigs. Pastrami and Corned beef are better there. So really, Mashiach is doing important stuff, from what I hear. Changing the bandages of lepers and everything in a cemetery or something like that. Let him be. We’re good. Keep Your redemption. We’re good as we are.

 

I know I have to work on this a little bit more. It’s not yet that convincing yet. But who knows? It’s time to change tactics. Achdus didn’t work. Prayers, Torah, chesed, kabbalos, stopping talking during davening, throwing out smartphones… and we’re still here. The hostages are still there. The soldiers are still getting killed. It’s time to change tactics. Who else is in? What do you think of the new plan?

 

Now the truth is as I was reviewing the parsha this week, I noticed something that I really never did before. As all the parshiyot this year and particularly this book of Devarim, when we are literally at the point of the last few months before we first entered the land, I find that there are messages and lessons that are literally screaming at us today. They were written 3000 years ago, but they are the Mussar of Moshe Rabbeinu for the generation that is meant to enter the land. The nation that is meant to enter eternally and never leave and never get thrown out as they build the final ultimate Home of Hashem that will last forever. That generation my friends is us. It wasn’t the ones Moshe was speaking to then. They didn’t last long. Not even a half a millenia, which is really nothing in the big picture of infinity and eternity. No, Moshe is speaking to us. He’s speaking now in this final year of redemption and He’s telling our generation the important things we need to know to close the deal. Reverse psychology, incidentally, is not one of them.

 

It’s really fascinating as one examines this last long speech of Moshe to the nation, and to us, as he recalls to them the events of the past 40 years in the wilderness. There are things that he mentions and others that he doesn’t. There are some that he adds some insights nuances that we never heard before. Perhaps most telling is the order that he puts things in, particularly when they seem to contradict stories we had in the past. We find this in the story of the spies, the giving of the Tablets, the golden calf and the Korach story (which he pretty much attributes to Dasan and Aviram in this week’s parsha) and all the sins he rebukes us about that we fell to in the wilderness. What stood out to me in this week’s parsha though was not in the long history for which most of that generation didn’t witness, as the old generation had died. Rather it’s his recollection of the events that took place pretty much the last few months before this speech, which seemingly should’ve been fresh in all their minds.

 

The parsha tells us right after Moshe repeats the story of the golden calf of Aharon’s death 40 years later although he juxtaposes them, which in itself is strange. The commentaries and chazal suggest this is to show that the death of the righteous is like the breaking of the tablets. Yet there seems to be more there than that. For in that description Moshe seems to get some facts wrong. The pasuk tells us

 

“And the children of Israel traveled from Be’erot Bnai Ya’akon to Mosera and there Aharon died and was buried and Elazar his son became the Kohen in his place. From there they traveled to Gudgoda and from Gudgoda to Yatvata a land with springs of water. At that time Hashem separated the tribe  of Levi to carry the Ark of the covenant before Hashem, to serve Him and to bless in His name until today.” (Devarim 10:6-8)

 

There are quite a few problems and perplexing things about this little speech. Some fact-checking is in order, Rashi notes. See, from what I remember Aharon was buried on Hor Ha’Hor not Mosera. As well in Maasey the directions seem to be going the other way. They went from Mosera to Be’erot which is North, rather than back down South. Gudgoda and Yotveta are even further South and again it seems to be the opposite direction that is described that they traveled in Masey. If you’re a tour guide, you’d get this. Something is off here. As well what’s all this about the springs of water? Who cares? This is not ancient history, remember this just happened a few months before this speech. Aharon having died on Rosh Chodesh Av of this last year and they’re standing there hearing this speech from the month of Shevat a half year later.

 

So our sages in the Yerushalmi, along with the Targum Yonasan and Rashi all tell us a backstory that many don’t pay much attention to. It seems that right before we entered the land of Israel after the death of Aharon a lot of things happened. The King of Canaan (or Amalek) attack us and take hostage(s?). We wipe out Midyan- which is incredible to think about as we were at the time standing at the doorway of Israel by the Jordan River and then headed all the way over to Saudi Arabia to wipe them out. But as well the Midrash tells us that the people fell apart after Aharon’s death. They turned around and headed back to Mitzrayim. It seems that there were no more Clouds of Glory guiding the way and the nation decided “the heck with it”. Let’s go back to Egypt. We don’t need Mashiach. We’d rather stay in galus. And they headed from Hor Ha’Hor all the way back 8 different camp spots that they camped at before on the way back to Egypt.

 

Now I imagine this process didn’t happen overnight. We’re probably talking a few weeks or month or two. So to put that in perspective, here we are in the month of Av, Aharon dies, and we spend the next few weeks heading back to Egypt. Renouncing our Promised Land, literally minutes before we’re supposed to enter and instead heading backwards. What happened to us? This, by the way, isn’t even a generation that saw Egypt. All those guys died. What’s going on.

 

To make this story even worse. The tribe of Levi goes running after the families that head back and kill out 8 entire family clans there. The tribes in turn kill out four families of Levi. It’s a civil war. Mashiach is right around the corner. We’re about to enter and build a Bais Ha’Mikdash and we ‘Chosen Nation” of Hashem is busy protesting, retreating, fighting, killing one another and everything is falling apart. Now are you beginning to understand who this is talking to? What makes this even more perplexing and aggravating is that this is really right after we miraculously wiped out Og and Sichon and the King of Canaan and all the heavy hitters in the Middle East. So what’s going on?

 

Saadia Gaon, has a brilliant and unique insight into this entire story. His reading of this story is perhaps even most relevant to us today. You see as we know it was in the merit of Aharon Ha’Kohen that we had the protective Clouds of Glory. It wasn’t merely that he was a big tzadik, it was that he was the inspiration of the love and unity of the Jewish people. He was ohev shalom and rodef shalom- he brought peace between all Jews. He was the unifying force that all felt connected to and loved by. That unity brought the Clouds of Glory. We were all one and thus Hashem’s presence surrounded us. We’re all in one big Sukkah. When Aharon died that ended. The Clouds of Glory disappeared and they were replaced by clouds of strife, fighting and jealousy. The finger pointing started.

 

The Gaon writes that there were two factions in Klal Yisrael that divided. There were the holy spiritual ones the ones that were from the camps of “Mosera” or Mussar ethics who preferred to live separate from the rest of Israel in their Gudgoda- their separate agudot- or groups. And then there was the other tribes that preferred  Be’erot- the wells,  the springs the Yotvata- the “good” fun stuff. The lands of streams. He writes that this division started after the sin of the golden calf. It’s then when they separated. It’s really then already that they “buried” Aharon and his loving ways in a spiritual sense. It’s spiritual division and journey back then forty years prior that Moshe is talking about. It’s why the Torah and Moshe says it started at that time.

 

It started when the tribe of Levi went out and answered the call of Moshe and wiped out the three thousand calf worshippers and it continued throughout the desert. Moshe tells us he prayed for us and Aharon stayed alive and his spark held us for another 40 years, yet with his death it all fell apart again. The Clouds of Glory we’re gone. Hostages were taken. We resented the tribe of Levi that just wanted spirituality and didn’t want to serve in the army. We just wanted to go back to Egypt. We didn’t need a holy land. Sure there are beautiful springs and great Falafel and Shwarma stores in Israel, but we’ve got Yotvata, Be’erot and Lakewood and Boro Park.

 

 The tribe of Levi as well resented us non-inspired Jews. They knew and understood that we all needed to come into the land, because if we didn’t they couldn’t get their Bais Ha’Mikdash either. But rather than be mekarev us, they came with swords and protests and screams and names and killed 8 families. And we killed them. The story went back to the Golden Calf but this time it was worse. We just don’t get it… We don’t understand that the death of Aharon, the death of that Achdus and Shalom that he brought amongst the people is just as bad as worshipping a golden calf. That it’s worth breaking the tablets of the ten commandments over. That the Shechina can’t come down and we can’t build a Bais Ha’Mikdash and conquer and settle the land and be successful in wiping out our enemies unless we’re all united. Unless we’re all in. We all love each other. We all see the spark in one another. Until we are “all in” and ready to move to Israel and finally get farkakteh Egypt and its Prime Grill out of our head.  Unless the spirit of Aharon will rest amongst the people. That’s the message of Moshe. It’s the message of Mashiach.

 

Moshe concludes this part of the speech with the aftermath of this story and perhaps the message for us frum Jews, who when it comes to staying in Kollel and not getting a job or serving in the army like to call ourselves “the tribe of Levi”. He tells us that this tribe was then chosen and separated to carry that Torah; that Ark of Hashem. Yup… that’s us… And then to serve Hashem… Yup that’s us too… and then to bless the people. To bless them with love. To uplift them. To care for them. And best of all to renounce any claim to any portion in the land of Israel. No Jerusalem Estates, No Shneller, No fancy mansions. No income. Just going around and teaching and loving and uniting. And bringing the clouds of glory of protection with our prayer, our Torah that only works if they are on behalf of the unification of the nation. They are for our “brothers”. They are our full-time jobs. Everything we do is for them. How do we do that? Moshe then continues…

 

“And I then stood at the mountain (after that sin of the golden calf) for forty days and forty nights like the first time.” (ibid 10)

 

Forgiveness wasn’t enough for Moshe, neither was a promise that Hashem wouldn’t destroy us. He started Rosh Chodesh Elul to take it up another notch. He wanted unity. He wanted Shechina. He wanted Hashem to be amongst us. So he didn’t eat and he didn’t drink and he fasted. He cared for the Jewish people. He cried. These terrible sinners of the golden calf who renounced Hashem, Moshe gave them his all. And Hashem heard his prayers. That’s the avoda that we need before we come into the land. That’s what Hashem responded to Moshe

 

“Arise and travel before the nation and they will come and inherit the land that I swore to the forefathers to give them” (ibid 11).

 

It’s time for some reverse psychology rabbosai. It’s time for us to reverse our thinking. To think about where we live and we’re were supposed to live differently and how we need to get there. To think about the “sinners” amongst us differently. To reverse so much of what our thinking has been about what it really needs to take and how far we need to get to where we need to get to. It’s not just improving. It’s thinking in reverse. It’s turning around our conceptions. It’s becoming aligned with what He really wants.

 

Hashem doesn’t need a holiday to redeem us on. He was ready 3000 years ago already. Eluuulllll is coming. Moshe’s up there on the mountain waiting of us to stop running away from him. From Him… The spirit of Aharon is awakened. Enough with the killing of one another. Enough with retreating to Mitzrayim… We’ve had a whole year of holidays and we’re in the final stretch. The speech of Moshe is almost over. It’s almost realized. Next week is Parshat Re’eh- may it be the parsha when we already see the blessing and the redemption.

 

Have a horrible Shabbos- reverse psychology of course😊

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Mehr krechts und mehr geyt veyter.- I complain and I keep going..

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

19.The Roman emperor during the Bar Kokhba Revolt was______.

Which church was inaugurated by Kaiser Wilhelm II during his visit to the

Land of Israel?

A. Augustus Victoria

B. Church of the Redeemer

C. Dormition Abbey

D. Immanuel Church

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaqJSx2EzHw     – Bardak’s Big Vaaction…. Yup..

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/kum  – My classic summer Hiking composition arranged and sung by Dovid Lowy… Kum Kum!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiDO-DGadBY   – My buddy Nissim Blacks latest song Glory!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3Fd--IxIrY – Benny Friedman and Baruch Levine Yearrning for Yerushalayim medley amazing…

           

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK

Biblical Blessing Bentching! – Although this column is dedicated to becoming more inspired by our prayer and we’ve been focusing on the daily prayers we say, there is only one blessing that is biblical in nature that we can make everyday and its source is our parsha. The Torah tells us how when we come into Israel we will find houses full of all good and fields and great things and we will eat and be satisfied and then we should bentch. We need to thank Hashem for that good that we experience. The Chasid Ya’avetz writes that many mitzvos have more mazal then others. Purim, Pesach, mixing milk and meat, people are very careful and go to extremes to make sure to not violate them or celebrate them properly. Other mitzvos? Not so much… They are mitzvos that get squished under our heels, our Ekev, the title of this week’s parsha. Bentching after we eat is one of them. We eat and then quickly bentch and leave. Even as we’re bentching we’re busy with other things and distractions. The Shulchan Aruch notes that bentching is not merely a blessing but it is in fact a prayer on the same level of the recitation of Shemona Esrei, where one is prohibited to interrupt out of fear of danger or honor someone. The Mishna Berura notes that it’s even more restrictive then Shema which could be recited while walking around, while bentching one needs to be in same spot. And yet, its something we take for granted.  

There’s a fascinating idea that is particularly significant in these times that is mentioned by the name Meshech Chochma and the Imrei Emes. They note that the biblical obligation to bentch, the Torah tells us, is only when one is satiated. Although we bentch even after a small olive sized amount of bread. As well the obligation is only as long as we are still satisfied from the meal, which is generally only 72 minutes from when we ate. They ask why is it only in this scenario? Shouldn’t we thank Hashem even biblically for any amount that we eat? Furthermore, why is there a time limit on that obligation to thank Hashem? As long as we didn’t say thank you, isn’t that obligation outstanding?

 They answer that the reason is because, as the next verses tell us, it is that sense of satisfaction and satiation that is a most dangerous for our souls and our faith. When everything is going great we forget Hashem. We think it’s coming to us. We deserve a good meal. He made us, He should feed us. We worked hard to make this meal. It’s at that point while that feeling of satiation overcomes us and threatens to make us forget Hashem that we need to bless Him and recognize His Hand and kindness. bentching after we eat is our insurance policy that we always recognize the source of the good that we receive. It’s what prevents us from forgetting Him. It stops us from thinking that it’s our own might that puts food on our table. That will win us wars. That will bring us to the Blessed promised land and rebuild the Bais Ha’Mikdash.

If there was ever a message that we needed during this war to internalize it should be this one. Hashem has brought us to the land. Yet our purpose here is to reveal Hashem to the world and and to build His home. In order to do that we need to not forget and focus on where it all comes from and what it’s all about. Our ancestors for millenia bentched after their meals and dreamt of being able to taste and experience the fruits and good of the land that we are privileged to experience. They are sitting in Shamayim looking down upon us and getting nachas that their descendants are realizing their dreams. Let’s make those blessings count for them and with those blessings the building of our Temple.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Menashe 697 BC -He is the longest reigning king of Israel. For 55 years he ruled our nation. As well, being the king that followed the devastating defeat and exile of the Northern Kingdom of Israel that affected the nation with much trauma besides the economic fallout, he was charged with rebuilding the country. In that regard Menashe was certainly one of the most remarkable kings. He developed relations with Assyria. He built up the maritime trade and he exported olive oil around the world. Just as Shlomo Ha’Melech who also took reign at age 12, Menashe, Shlomo’s descendant, built up Israel and brough an end to warring an fighting. But that’s where the similarities end.

 

Menashe the verses tell us was the most evil of the kings of Yehuda. That’s not an easy title in our sorry history of the kingship in the 2^nd Temple. There’s a lot of competition.  He did things no other king before him did. We had idol worship prior to Menashe, yet he that idol worship always was in addition to the service of Hashem. He pretty much moved the people to a new level of the abandonment of the service of Hashem, even extinguishing the fires of the altar and replacing it with a huge idol. According to the Talmud he brought back and even himself sacrificed his own children to the Molech child worship god. He had relations with his own sister. He built temples and ashera trees over the land. All the spiritual revolution that his father Chizkiya and his grandfather Yeshaya brought to the land he turned back the clock on. According to one midrash he even had his own grandfather the great prophet Yeshaya killed. He was as bad as it got. We fell from  being the almost messianic generation of Chizkiya and it’s miracles to the lowest of the low in a few decades. The destruction of the temple and the prophets Yoel, Chabakuk and Nachum who foresaw this we will discuss in in the coming weeks, yet just as Achav had an end story that turned things around Menashe perhaps did as well. It’s not for naught, he had the longest reign… Let’s learn about it next week.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

The best way to find an answer to the question on the internet isn't to ask it. It's actually to post a wrong answer to the question and have people correct you.

 

"I thought reverse psychology was when you made your therapist cry."

 

"You know women hate when you tell them, "Calm down." So now when she yells at me I just go, "Love your energy."

 

"I told my wife she needs to embrace her mistake. So she gave me a hug."

 

"I’m writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it!"

 

Sometimes you will have good moments with your parents where you think you can share anything with them. Don't. It's a trap.

 

"My therapist refused to help me with my fear of backing up my car. She said she would under no circumstances perform reverse psychology."

 

How do you get her to finally decide what she wants to eat?

 

Just tell her that for dinner she can choose anything she wants except Mexican food.

 

Grandma" "You need to eat 4 more bites since you're 4 years."

Me: "But I'm 5!"

Grandma: "Oh, well I don't think you can eat that much."

Me: *eats 5 bites to prove her wrong.*

 

The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.

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 The answer to this week”s question is B- Kind of feel like this is the war here in Israel here where I get one week wrong and one week right or back and forth 50/50s on this exam. So last week got it wrong this week is all right. The first part was easy, the Bar Kochva revolt was against Hadrian who put it down and wiped out Rabbi Akiva’s army. The second part as well I got right. Not that I know or care about Christian stuff too much. But those three ugly desecrating towers that one can see from all over the surrounding area where I point out the Temple Mount from include the Church of the Redeemer, the correct answer to this question, that was built under Kaiser Wilhelm, and Augusta Victoria, so it was a tricky question. Yet the church was the reason he came and the inauguration of it and only then did he commission Augusta Victoria afterwards… How I remember that I don’t know… But anyways got it right so the new score is  Rabbi Schwartz 12 and Ministry of Tourism 7 on this exam so far.