Time of Birth- Parshat Tazria 2024 5784

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

 April 12^th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 27 4^th of Nisan 5784

Parshat Tazria

Time of Birth

Dear Ribono Shel Olam,

 Master of the world, Abba, Tatteh, Melech… Ad Mosai? How long…? How much more do we need to wait… to suffer… to hurt….to pray…to cry….? When is this going to be over? When will it start? When will You come home? When will you bring them home? All of them. It’s too much already. We can’t anymore. It’s too much already.

Was it just a two years ago by Corona that we sat alone in our homes that Seder night and thought that Eliyahu would really be by our doors when we opened them up? That the worst had already come. That You were finally ready to redeem us. That You had taken the last sacrifices You needed. That the world had finally realized that ein od milvado- that there is no one to rely on besides You. But when we opened that door there was no one there. No old man with a white beard on a donkey. No shofar. It was the same empty 2000-year-old doormat that greeted us, that has been lying there by our blood painted doorpost telling us that the redemption is not yet here. We’re still in Egypt. Adayin lo higiya geulaschem- the time is still not yet.

 So we continued with faith. It didn’t shake us. We vaccinated. Or didn’t. But we prayed. We shemitta’ed. We came to Israel like never before. We learned. We davened. We did chesed. And yes, we did fall back into our old lives somewhat, but our eyes were and still are always on the ball since then. We were ready for it to happen. We davened that past High Holidays that this year should be the last year that we are without You. That we aren’t home with You.

It was the year after Shevi’is after all. A year when our sages saw that the redemption is opportune to come. But it didn’t happen that year, and so we davened that it should be this year. And then October 7^th happened. And then that Shemini Atzeret day when the King sits with His child and asks to spend one last day together, because it’s too hard to separate from them after these incredible holidays that we celebrated for 7 days in our Sukkos. On that special holy day You walked out of the room. You left that Sukkah of protection. You let them come in. You turned Simchat Torah into Tisha B’av. All the Kinos- lamentations that we’ve said for 2000 years happened on that day when we should’ve been dancing together with Your Torah.  Since then, It’s been like the three weeks of mourning when tragedy comes again and again, only that its been” the three weeks” for the past 6 months, with no end in sight. With just an empty doorway awaiting us again this Pesach.

 We thought it might’ve happened on Chanuka the holiday of miracles; when we won over our enemies and rededicated our Temple. We finally have soldiers like the Maccabees of old, that are fighting just in Your name. Just for Your glory. But it didn’t happen. There weren’t any miracles of redemption, despite the so many small lights we lit around the world and prayers we offered.

 Perhaps when we read the book of Shemos; the book of our Redemption. Maybe that’s when You would bring it. Maybe in the month of Shevat when the sap of the geula starts to sprout up? Would it only come in Adar? The month of Simcha would finally bring that joy we had been waiting so long for? Would all the pain be batel- get wiped out, in the 60 days of those festive extra month of Adar that this special year had. Would we see a Purim miracle? We were wiping out Amalek like never before. We were united. We got smashed and lost all our da’as. All our conceptions. We sang to You. We danced with You. We cried and davened on Purim. Bring them Home. Come Home. Make this over. Turn it all around. And yet Purim passed. And Adar is over. And nothing has changed.

 So I ask you Tatteh… Ad Mosai? What more can we do? If Your plan is that if You keep squeezing us with the hope that we will do even more teshuva, I hate to be the one to tell You, but open up the Newspapers and turn on the News. It’s not happening. The nation is stiff-necked, in case You didn’t chap that yet. They’re fighting again. They’re politicking again. They’re protesting. They’re drafting. They’re pointing fingers at one another. They’re bowing down to the seuda of Achashveirosh and taking cues and directions from the goyim that want to wipe us out. The pain is too great. The letdown is too much. Amalek is laughing his tuchas off. Where are You…?

 Is there any of us that haven’t written a letter like that this past year. At least in our hearts and in our prayers, I know that you have had those thoughts and those words. I don’t think anyone of us in my lifetime has ever been more ready for Mashiach then we are today. We’re exhausted. We’re wiped. We’re terrified of the ramifications of him not coming this Pesach. We see the clock turning back to October 6^th. The troops pulling out before the job is over, while threats loom over our heads. While evil still threatens to destroy us.

 We’ve seen the true faces of the world towards us once again, when the Shechina is not amongst us, and we are not in our home with Hashem shining His light out. How much they hate us. How little they care about our blood, our children, our hostages. How little they really want us in their country and think that we’re anything like them. It’s not just the nations either and perhaps that’s the scariest part. It’s Israel. It’s our brothers and sisters here that are just falling apart despite the so much we underwent and are going through together. It’s the government, it’s the courts, it’s the sinat chinam that’s sprouting up again. So much blood has been spilled, so much pain and the baby doesn’t seem to be coming out. It’s stuck. It’s strangling itself with its umbilical cord. Has this all been for naught?

 The birthing analogy I just stuck in there by the way is really no coincidence. I think all of us in Klal Yisrael finally get a little, or maybe even a big, taste of what takes place in that birthing room in the last final moments. The woman just has no koach to push anymore. She’s done. Just slice me open and take the kid out already. I’ve been going at this for hours. I can’t anymore. Make that nurse or Doula who keeps yelling in my ear with their unhelpful words of encouragement be quiet already.

 “Breathe!”

“Push!”

“Just a little bit more!”

“You can do it!”  

“C’mon! you’ve got it now…”.

Well, I don’t

. Hashem just make it over. Take the kid out and let me go to sleep. Yeah, I get what my wife felt like now. We all do.

 Well on that note, let’s take a look at the parsha- or letter Hashem has sent us to read this week in our Torah reading, strangely titled ‘Tazria’. I say strangely, because the majority of the parsha which is focused on the laws of purity and the tumah of tzara’as’-the spiritual blemishes that can afflict our people, has nothing to do with the first verse or few pesukim which begins with the laws of the tumah of a woman who gives birth. Or in the interesting Torah term for that word- a woman who is mazria- she plants or “seeds”. Why is that the title of the entire parsha and even more perplexing is why is the particular tumah of childbirth the introduction to all of the laws of impurity. Seemingly it’s not a major impurity. It would seem that the tumah of coming in contact with death, or of a Niddah, or even the metzorah should precede these laws. It even tells us that Yoledes, woman who has given birth is like a Niddah menstruating woman, despite not even having told us what that tumah is yet. Yet, it seems that Hashem is telling us that if we want to understand Tumah. If we want to understand the way that we will become purified to come to the Bais HaMikdash, then we have to first and foremost appreciate that it’s all part of Tazriah. We’re being planted.

 Now personally unlike my father who always loved gardening, I’ve never had a green thumb. I want a burger and fries in five minutes, well done please. I have no time to dig, to plant, to water, to hedge. I’ll skip the tomato, thank you. Pickles don’t really come from the ground anyways… right? Yet over the year and half or so of Shemitta where I spent a lot of time with farmers and this year as well with many volunteer chizuk trips to farms to help them with their crops, I’ve developed a better appreciation and awe for this holy work. It’s really amazing the entire process if you think about it. We take this ground. We seemingly dig it up, we plow, we overturn it, we take seeds and throw them in and bury them in the deepest, darkest, filthiest place. We then water them, we hedge them, we cut around them, and slowly slowly they start to flower. They start to grow. The fruit sprouts forth. It’s magic. It’s life. It’s a miracle.

 Think about childbirth and the process as well. It’s pretty much the same thing. We’ll skip the first steps, but just look at the mother once she become pregnant. Just don’t tell her how she looks. She’s fat, she’s in pain, she’s bloated. She’s stretching. And then poof. A brand new life is on this world. There is no one that has ever been in a birthing room and doesn’t feel that miracle. That doesn’t get all teared up when they hear that first healthy cry. The “Mazel Tov!” Especially if it’s a boy…

 But it started so dark. So ugly. So hidden. In a place and an act where one would think that Hashem is not present. Yet just as the farmer knows that what he’s doing is not just burying a seed in the dirt but rather is creating a new life, so too does that mother when she is implanted. When she is Tazriah. Because Hashem is everywhere. Because new life starts from a dark place where one doesn’t see Hashem. It’s how the world was created from nothing. It’s how each life is created again in this world. It’s how every plant and every tree and every animal that has a spirit of Hashem on whatever level comes into existence. And it is as well how the redemption will and has sprouted up in the past.

There is so much dirt and darkness in the world from where new life sprouts up every single day. It’s the only places that it comes from if you think about it. But do you know how it comes up from there? It comes when it is planted with love and knowledge that there is life being born. The farmer is working that field and he doesn’t see earth, he sees life. He sees the fruit that will sprout up. The mother doesn’t look at her belly and see fat. She doesn’t see veins. She sees and feels that heart of a new baby being developed inside of her. The Torah is telling us that when we see blemishes, when we see tzora’as, when we see Tumah, when we see death, when we see blood of life that hasn’t flourished and “seeded” in a niddah, it’s all Tazriah. It’s all part of a process of birth and a new life. It’s Toras Ha’Yoledes- it’s the Torah of the creation of a new world, that comes from that darkness.

 That’s why by the way, it’s only the Kohen that can tell and determine what tzara’as is. For only the Kohen who blesses us each day with love, who the Torah goes out of it’s way to tell us is a child of Aharon and his sons, and whose mantra was to be oheiv es ha’briyos- to love everyone. Only he can look at that tzora’as and see and convey the love that is there, the life and purity that will come from it. Only the Kohen can tell us that it is the way for us all to come back to the Beis Ha’Mikdash.

 This past week as well we read the last of the four supplemental parshiyot we started before Purim. It’s parshat Ha’Chodesh, the reading of the first mitzva given to our nation prior to our Exodus from Egypt; prior to our birth as a nation. It’s a parsha that Chazal and the first Rashi in the Torah tells us should’ve really been where the entire Torah started from. And what is this mitzva? It’s a mitzva that tells us that there is a process in creation called Rosh Chodesh that begins with the Bnai Yisrael. We count the months. A new frame of reference of time begins. Until now the world ran on a 7-day week and 365-day year. Now there’s something new. It’s called Chodesh- which means new. Something that didn’t exist before. Something that will be revealed by this new nation that’s about to born out of the darkness and slave pits of Mitzrayim.

 Rav Moshe Shapira, in an amazing piece explains the concept of Rosh Chodesh, that as opposed to a year which is called Shana, doesn’t work on the same system. Shana- also means repetition. We say Vi’shinantam li’vanecha- we have to keep repeating and teaching the same words of old, of Torah, again and again. The world was created in 6 days and on the 7^th day of Shabbos Hashem rested. Since then that process continues again and again. There is nature. The sun rises and the sun sets. Chodesh though is another framework of time. It’s the moon that gets smaller and smaller as each month ends and then it is reborn again. There is a molad. A yoledes.

 It is in the darkest night that it restarts again. We call it a new moon, despite the fact that it’s the same old moon, because we see in it a birth of a new framework of existence. We see that time doesn’t have to work as it always did, as the rest of the world sees it. With sunrises and sunsets like clockwork. Rather it’s a framework of time that Hashem said Klal Yisrael will establish and reveal to the world that reveals to us that there can be a new world; a new Creation that has never been before. One that is not teva- natural, but rather one that is of revelation of Hashem creating anew every aspect and every moment of our existence, that is not bound or limited by the hiddenness of a natural world that was created in 7 days and put into place. For just like a newborn baby, the whole world is before him, He has the potential for everything.

 That recognition of this new framework of time is the prelude to our birth. That’s what Rashi is telling us where the Torah should’ve really started from. Because that’s the real reality. That’s the birth and creation of the world that Hashem really wants to bring us to from the beginning. We start off our Seder with the strange phrase of

 Yachol Mei’Rosh Chodesh- we might think that already from the Rosh Chodesh of Nissan we could celebrate Pesach. This is even though we were still in Egypt and our enemies were still around us. They hadn’t been destroyed yet. It was still dark. We were still hostages. The redemption, the Temple, the land of Israel seemed so far away. They had a huge army. There was a sea that stood between us and our promised land. In the seven day a week, 365 day a year world that just repeats itself, it didn’t seem possible we would ever get there.

 Yet, on Rosh Chodesh we realized that world and that frame of reference wasn’t the real one. We were in a different zone. Seas could split in this new world. First Borns could die. Pharaoh could come running and begging us to leave and to even bless him. We could destroy every idol they have and slaughter it in their face. Every humanitarian principle, every politically correct convention, every resolution and hypocritical “ethical” Geneva code that a godless Amalekite world created for themselves that never applied to the am ha’nivchar, could finally be shown and declared to be the empty antisemitic standards that it is. Because the real world that was revealed to us on Rosh Chodesh is one of miracles. One that is born anew. One that although it looks dark, that looks blemished, that looks bloody, and tamei understands that it’s just a birth canal, a wheat field, an orchard, that is about to sprout new life.  A new life that could do and become whatever it wanted to.  

 Yes, you might think that already from Rosh Chodesh we could celebrate, we start off our Magid by the Seder saying.  But the Torah tells us that we can’t. We need to wait just a little bit longer until we have matza and maror in front of us. We need to wait until that Seder night, which is our birthing room for those last final pushes. When we feel and taste that bitterness, like we’ve never felt it before. And at the same time drink those four glasses of wine and have our bags packed and our matzas with no time to bake on our shoulders ready to go and leave.

 The baby never comes when you expect it. It’s always either early or late. It comes when you’re too tired to push. When you’ve had enough. But it comes at that moment when every mother turns to Hashem and says I’m entirely in Your hands. I can’t anymore. It’s not physically possible. That is the moment when the moon rises and is born. That is when it shines the brightest. As we saw in the most recent Solar Eclipse, which is certainly not coincidental, the power of the moon can even blot out the sun. The symbolism is so much deeper knowing that the moon is Israel’s frame of reference to overcome the natural teva of the world run by the sun. It’s when we become new. It’s when the whole world will celebrate. That is when it will all finally be over and when the New world will finally for the first time begin. Mazel Tov it’s a boy!

 Have a new Shabbos and a redemptive month of Nissan,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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CHIZUK/TZEDAKA OPPORTUNITY OF THE WEEK

Chesed Shel Emes- Nacham Ami- “True kindness”-The initiative to support the families of those murdered in the “Iron Swords” war.

 One of my greatest resources in the Chesed and Chizuk trips that I’ve been doing is meeting with families who have lost someone in this war, is with the help of this incredible volunteer organization. Started by a few Kollel wives and Chareidi women in order to help these families in the first days of the war , the organization has expanded from beyond giving information for Shiva and consolation visits, but to helping financially the families that desperately need assistance.

  In the “War” room of the project in Jerusalem sit 25 ultra-Orthodox women and girls who work in shifts: they scan the web, receive information from various institutions about the times of funerals and Shiva, and update it according to regions of the country for the sake of approximately three thousand volunteers who are active in seven WhatsApp groups. The volunteers come to the homes of the bereaved families, take part in the pain, listen to the stories and to the needs of the families, and honor the memory of those who murdered. We hope that the grieving families feel that the people of Israel surround them with love and share in their pain.

 Now the initiatives seek to reach out to more people around the world. Make the story of the 1400 murdered accessible to them. Allow them to share in the pain from and send consolation.

You can also take part from afar and contribute to this project. The donations will be transferred to the needs of the bereaved families and distributed to them according to their needs as soon as possible.

 PARTICULARLY BEFORE PESACH THERE ARE NINE FAMILIES WHO LOST LOVED ONES IN THE NOVA FESTIVAL THAT REQUIRE YOUR FINANCIAL HELP FOR THIS FIRST PAINFUL YOM TOV. PLEASE PLEASE FIND IN YOUR HEART TO CONTRIBUTE TO THEM AND LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY ARE OUR FAMILY AND WE ARE THERE FOR THEM.

PLEASE SEND ME SCREENSHOTS OF YOUR DONATIONS so i can forward to these holy women  and let them know that we appreciate and are one with them in all that they are doing.

 https://nachamuami.com/about/  – Here’s A LINK FOR THIS ORGANIZATION

 And here’s the link to donate * PLEASE VERY IMPORTANT WRITE FOR THE “NOVA FAMILIES” IN THE NOTES OF YOUR DONATIONS SO THAT YOUR CONTRIBUTION CAN BE DIRECTED TO THEM*

https://impactcubed.org/give/

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Vus brentzach-Vet moshiakh geboyrn vern mit a tog shpeter.”- What’s burning? So the messiah will be born a day later

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

2. The Christian holiday that is comparable to the Jewish Shavuot is called_____.

Which of the following figures is considered to be a “Protomartyr” in

Christianity?

A)  Stephen

B)  George

C)  Peter

D) Paul

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vehi-shemada  – My latest new release in honor of Pesach… You gotta hear this… It’s amazing, beautiful and Dovid Lowy knocked it out of the park…especially the shticky harmonies… You want to sing this by your Seder.

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/melech-rachamon   – Composed this hartzig Pesach song two years ago… But you have to suffer through the first 17 seconds of me singing to earn the right to hear the whole song… but don’t worry it’s so beautiful you won’t even remember afterwards my singing…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nINk8uj0sXE – and Joey’s latest with Ka’eileh, You know you’re excited that we’re gonna lein that soon right?

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8U-rbugZHOw  – I remember this song from my Bachurishe yohrnin in yeshiva. It’s from Reb Baruch Ber Zt”l… Appropriate for Pesach’s Shir Ha’shirim Kol Dodi Dofek done beautiful by Duvy Meisels

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9e4DreXvgo   – Benny Friedman with a new take on a Yid never (like a moon) in honor of Chodesh and the Eclipse

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK

Heart Words- For many of us the biggest challenge of our prayers is thinking about what we say. The words just flow out of our mouths. It’s like a magic ritual that we just recite. Three times a day, again and again. The blessings we make before we eat, afterwards. Prayer is called Avoda she’belev- it is work of the heart. There are two things that are important for it to work. Number one is to understand that it is work. And the second is that it has to come from and penetrate our heart.

 Now although this challenge applies to all of our prayers, but particularly when we are in such an elongated period of prayers for this war its hard to keep it fresh and not just say the words. And that’s even with the knowledge that we need our prayers now more than ever. So perhaps this column and insight this week from our parsha might help with that a bit.

 

There is a fantastic midrash Shochar Tov in the beginning of the book of Tehillim, I’ll just quote the part that’s relevant to this lesson

 “Rabbi Yehoshua ben Karcha said that it says the word Ashrei twenty times in the book of Tehillim that correspond to… Rebbi says it says it twenty two times corresponding to the letters of the aleph beis… and on all of them King David said

 “yehiyu l’ratzon imrei fi v’hegyon libi lifanecha- may the words of my mouth and thoughts of my heart be desirous before you”

 That they should do this for generations and it should be established for generations and they should not be read like the books of “Moryus”- (Homer?). Rather they should read and contemplate them and receive reward like the laws of  nega’im blemishes and Ohalos -the purity of tents.”

 There are a lot of fascinating insights in this midrash. I just want to focus in our limited space on the insight of the Sefat Emes who asks what does Tehillim and Dovid’s request specifically have to do with Nega’im and Ohalos? After-all there are a lot of different areas in the Torah that this could be compared to. What’s unique about these laws that our recitation of Tehillim, Dovid asks, should be compared and rewarded to.

 He explains that the law is that the rules of blemishes and purity of a tent is only done through a Kohen. And if there is no Kohen available that is knowledgeable then one must bring a scholar to tell the Kohen what the law is and the Kohen merely must recite whatever the Talmid Chacham tells him. The Kohen’s words work even though he doesn’t really understand them. Similarly, Dovid requested that although there is so much depth in the words of Tehillim, yet we simple people don’t always understand what we are saying or how to say them precisely. Thus he asked Hashem that the mere recitation alone should be able to give us and achieve our desired requests alone just like the laws of blemishes when the Kohen doesn’t know what he’s saying.

 The truth is each prayer of Shemona Esrei we conclude with those words of Dovid Hamelech that our thoughts and the words of our mouth should be desirous before Hashem. There are two conditions though, there has to be thoughts and there has to be words. Many times our thoughts are not really thoughts. We’re dreaming. We’re traveling the world. We’re thinking about where we need to go next. But at least we said the words of our mouth. Other times it’s the opposite, we recited the words but we didn’t pay any attention to them. They just came out, but deep in our hearts we have desires, we have fervent thoughts. Thoughts about redemption, about the return of our hostages, about a refuah shlaima- complete healing for all those injured, for those suffering, thoughts for parnasa, for help, for our children and our families. We had the thoughts in our hearts but never connected them to the words. Thus we ask Hashem that He should put them together. That he should accept them. That He should answer them, like He answered Dovid. That’s how we conclude each prayer and that’s why as well, many have the custom to recite this specific verse at the end of every prayer that we recite.

 There’s no reason to feel helpless when Davening if we didn’t have complete Kavana. Dovid already prayed that it should work for us even without the complete intent. It’s our blemish, it’s our purity of tents. That’s what connects us to Hashem. We’re trying to get close and get purified. In that merit alone Hashem will answer us.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

722 BC-The Pesach Sin of Chizkiya- So last week we discussed the Pesach offering of Chizkiya’s generation which the Navi tells us was the greatest one since the times of Dovid and Shlomo. I presented it as two Pesch Sacrifices, the first being in Nisan and the second being in the following month where those that didn’t make it from the other tribes, the first time around or those that were unpure- or tamei came and did it as a Pesach Sheini- 2nd month make up offering. Well, that’s not necessarily the entire story. Like all good Jewish things this 2nd Pesach of Chikziya seems to be up for debate and interpretation.  

 The Talmud tells us that there were a few things that Chizkiya did that we will learn about that the Rabbis of his time were happy with and others that they weren’t. You can’t please all the people all the time, I guess. One of those things was the fact that they say he made the year of this Pesach offering into a leap year. He added a month. The question is though what that means? Now to explain before the establishment of the set calendar that we currently have, which dates back to Hillel in the 2^nd Temple period, the months were established by the court and the king. They were able to make an extra month when they felt it was necessary for agricultural or even political reasons. We have that extra month in order to coordinate that Pesach always falls out in the spring. That extra month though is always at the end of the winter in the month of Adar like we have this year.

 According to one opinion Chizkiya added that extra month though in the month of Nissan already making a second Nissan. He did that in order that the rest of the tribes could come and bring their offering of Pesach. That would seem to explain why when the Navi describes the holiday for the second time around it’s why they celebrated it for 7 days when usually Pesach Sheini in Iyar would only be for one day. Other opinions similarly with that same rationale say that the ibur leap year was added on the last day of Adar but it was also after the time it was meant to be added. These opinions follow the rule that even though the nation was impure, yet it’s permitted to bring a Pesach offering when the majority of the nation is in that state. Tumah hutra b’tzibur- for the sake of the congregation it’s permitted and thus it shouldn’t have been pushed off.

 According to other opinions though, Chizkiya only pushed off and added a second month of Nissan after the first offering was brought. This was done only after he realized that so many weren’t tahor or hadn’t come to do it the first time. The problem is that as we said the extra month has to be added at the end of the year rather than the beginning of the year. So it would seem that the month when they brought the sacrifice wasn’t a Pesach Sheini offering at all. It was Nissan take II. The sages weren’t happy about that as well, as Chizkiya had missed the boat. He shouldn’t have made a second month for this. And the truth of the matter is, fascinatingly enough, it didn’t work… sort of. You see the people weren’t ready the second time either. There were many that even the second round also were still tamei. They didn’t believe it would really happen. And so they sinfully ate as well. No one stopped them. No one threw stones at them. They were violating the law and eating impure and yet it happened seemingly against the Rabbis will.

 What makes this most incredible is that we find that Chizkiya davened to Hashem after this offering and Pesach and begged forgiveness for the people. They had meant well. They were trying to get close. They didn’t sin out of spite but rather out of love, out of teshuva. Hashem please forgive them. And he did. Unlike the offering of Nadav and Avihu who sinned on that first day of the coronation of the Mishkan in Nissan that Hashem killed, here he forgave. Here he didn’t allow it to upset the simcha. Here he finally accepted us. It’s an amazing story, with so many perspectives and lessons, that I want you to think about. Look it up. Learn it. And perhaps maybe in that merit we will once again merit to have that offering this Pesach again.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE CHILDBIRTH JOKES OF THE WEEK

Watching your wife in childbirth...Is like watching your favourite pub burn down.

Whoever coined the term ‘delivery’ for childbirth made a big mistake. It should have been called takeout instead.

 A woman walks into a library and asks for a book on childbirth. The Librarian says "Try over there in the C section."

 God created childbirth to give women the chance to experience what it's like...For a guy to catch a cold....

 I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."

"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."

 A blonde gave birth to two beautiful babies, twins, however, she cries endlessly! The nurse then tells her "But see madame! Why are you crying ? You are now mother of 2 beautiful babies, in good health!

- I know, says the blonde, but I do not know who the father of the second one is!

She was a new nurse in the maternity ward in Israel, not aware of the miraculous births that take place here. As she entered the first room she saw a new mother with 4 newborn babies lying next to her in their hospital bassinets. “Wow” she said “are all of these yours?”

 “Yes” said the new mother. “I just had quadruplets last night, but actually…” she said “that’s quite common.  You see, I come from the city of Kiryat Arba (the Israeli community translated as “village of four) and a lot of my friends have four children.”

“Pretty amazing” the nurse thought as she went to the next room. Much to her surprise the next patient was lying down with 7 little infants around her. “Are these all yours?” she again asked in shock. “Certainly” the proud mom exclaimed, “I’m from Be’er Sheva (the well of seven) and many of us have septuplets”.

The next room had a mother from the city of Kiryat Shmona (the city of eight) and sure enough 8 adorable little babies were pleasantly cooing around the mother’s bed. When the nurse came to the next room though, she immediately turned around and started running out of the hospital. On her way out the doctors asked her where she was going. With a sign of total resignation, the poor lady said “I quit! There’s no way I am going in the next room”.

“Why? What’s the matter?” the doctor said.

“Don’t you know,” the exasperated and clearly overwhelmed nurse responded. “The lady in the last room is from Meah Shearim!

 

What do you call a group of baby soldiers? An infantry

What’s a group of chubby newborns called? Heavy infantry

 A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Doctor, what’s going on?” asked the concerned father-to-be.

“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”

 What do you call a cow that had a baby? De-calf-inated

  What do you call a group of baby garbage bins? A litter

 Mrs. Goat: “Honey, we’re going to have a baby!”

Mr. Goat: “You’re kidding.”

 Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky? I guess you can say the baby was airborne.

 Did you hear about the lady who had her baby while on an Ocean Cruise? She needed a sea section

 Little Berel’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?”

His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Berel.”

Berel exclaimed, “Wow… I can see why they threw him out!”

 How did the baby tell her mom she had a wet diaper? She sent her a pee-mail (sorry couldn’t resist..)

 How can you tell the gender of a baby?

If he cries it’s a boy

If she cries, it’s a girl

 I sat next to a baby on a ten-hour flight. I didn’t think it was possible for someone to cry for ten hours straight. Even though the baby was impressed, I pulled it off

 I requested the flight attendant to switch my seat as I was next to a screaming baby. Apparently, you are not allowed to do that if the baby is yours

**********************************

 The answer to this week”s question is A– I just have no kpoach for these dumb Christian questions. Really… Hopefully Mashiach will be here soon and we can just blow up all of these idolatrous churchs in this country. I got this one half right. The first part is easy Pentacost is an easy holiday to remember because penta is 50 and Shavuos is 50 days from Pesach. The second part though I really had no clue, nor do I care who the first martyr is of these ridiculous Christians made-up faith. I guessed George the answer was Stephen. Like I said who cares? Os it’s a half right for me.  And the score is   Rabbi Schwartz 1.5 and Ministry of Tourism .5 on this exam so far.

Tzav -8 Holy Reserves- Parshat Shemini HaChodesh

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

 April 5^th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 26 26^th of Adar II 5784

Parshat Shemini- HaChodesh

Parshat Shemini- HaChodesh

 

Tzav-8 Holy Reserves

They met at a Torah class. The Rabbi was discussing Psalm 89. Shira was excited for it was her favorite Psalm. It had her favorite verse in the 2nd pasuk.

 

Chasdei Hashem Olam Ashira- the kindness of Hashem I will eternally sing

L’dor va’dor odiah emunashech be’fi- for all generations I will acknowledge Your faith in my mouth.

 It wasn’t just because the verse contained her name. It was her mantra in life as well. She always wanted to sing the faith she had in Hashem. It was her essence. Little did she know that the psalm would contain so much more about her. And so much to teach us as well.

 A few seats down from Shira at that shiur sat her bashert. Wouldn’t you know it? His name was Dor. The next words in that favorite verse. They schmoozed and hit it off right away and the wedding wasn’t long in coming. They decided that when they would merit to have children, they would call their first son Eitan. After all the first words of the Psalm are

 Maskil l’eitan Ha’ezrachi-  A Psalm for Eitan the Ezrachite

 The word ‘Maskil’ is one of the descriptions of the type of Psalm it is. Maskil like the word sechel is one that the Malbim notes requires a deep understanding, for it contains an eternal message much more timeless than a perfunctory glance or reading may convey. It’s a prophecy. Eitan, which means strength according to the Midrash is a reference to Avraham Avinu who enlightened the world to the strength of faith and power of Hashem. Little did Ashira and Dor know at the time of their son’s naming at his Bris of Avraham Avinu, how connected their son would be to that Patriarch and how prophetic this Psalm would be to their lives.

 Eitan was a bright, warm and learned child. Loved by all, he as well took his religion, his Torah study and his commitment to Am Yisrael seriously. When he went to yeshiva he chose a hesder one where he felt he could realize both of those passions; serving Klal Yisrael and studying Torah. In addition to his yeshiva studies, he convinced his father to begin learning Daf Yomi with him. Each day without fail they would study the ancient daily page of the Talmud. A father and a son bonding over the holy eternal words of our sages.

 His army service ended in Elul of this past year and rather than go on vacation like so many others Eitan returned right back to yeshiva to study. Once the war broke out though he quickly returned on Simchat Torah to his base. This was his first reservist call after his original service had been completed. He was from the first ones to enter Gaza where he fought valiantly for a few months until he was killed by a sniper on the 7^th of Tevet on the Armored vehicle he was commanding.

When the army brought his parents his personal belongings, they included his five sefarim that were with him in his Armored vehicle. The most used was his Talmud Kidushin,, as he had continued to learn the Daf with his friends while in their vehicle daily. The blood of his wounds (which doesn’t have to be buried) stains its pages as it was right next to him, as well as his halacha sefer and Shaarei Teshuva when he returned his soul to Hashem giving up his life al kiddush Hashem defending Eretz Yisrael and avenging the blood of our nation.

 How does one console such parents who had lost such a special child? One with such a bright future, with so much holy potential. When I first started making these visits, I wasn’t sure. Yet day in and day out it never fails to amaze and inspire me when I hear these so many parents giving me chizuk. To hear Shira tell me how she continues to sing the song and chesed of Hashem. How she thanks Him daily for having given her the gift of Eitan for his short 21 years. For all generations “Odiah emunasecha befi- I will acknowledge Your faith in my mouth”, remains her song. It’s unreal. It’s superhuman. Yet, this is all I hear every day from so many of these mothers and fathers of fallen children.

 This week’s Torah portion Shemini contains the only consolation for the loss of children that we find in the entire Torah. It is incompreheinsible to think about what Aharon Ha’Kohein must have felt when his two children Nadav and Avihu were killed on this inauguration day. The first of Nissan, when the inauguration took place, was the culmination of months of work of collection and construction for the Mishkan; the house and dwelling place of Hashem on this world. It was the atonement for the sin of the golden calf. It was the day that Hashem had been waiting for over 2000 years from the Creation of the world.

Our parsha though is strangely called Shemini as in the eighth day of what is called the Miluim- the previous 7 days of the inauguration of the Mishkan mentioned in last week’s parsha of Tzav. It’s strange because seemingly it should more appropriately be called the “First day”. As the Talmud tells us that this day took “ten crowns”. It was the first of Nissan, the first day when the Shechina came down, the first sacrifices, the first day of our exodus from Egypt, the first day when the Kohanim blessed the nation. Yet the parsha is called Shemini. The eighth of the Miluim. Hmmm? What’s pshat?

 Well perhaps to understand that, and to understand as well the glory and tragedy of that day, we must understand this word that most Americans have difficulty translating and most Israelis as well don’t really get. Miluim. See in modern day Hebrew the word miluim is what the army reserves are called. Today we have over 300,000 soldiers on Miluim. We’ve never had that many soldiers fighting since biblical times. But they’re not just called soldiers. They’re Miluim-nikim. Reservists. Regular working people, Taxi drivers, Hi Tech, Salesman, Teachers and mechanics. Everyone is on Miluim. But what does the word Miluim have to do with the army?

 In the Torah terminology the word ‘miluim’ comes from the word Malei- to fill up. We have avnei miluim the filling stones on the breastplate. But where does that fit into the inauguration of the Kohanim of the Temple. Why are they called days of miluim? Shouldn’t inauguration- or “chanukah” be the more appropriate descriptive term for these days? Rashi and the commentaries mention that the Kohanim’s hands are filled with the sacrifices or with their new responsibilities, but it seems like kind of a stretch. There must be something deeper. And of course, there is.

 How does one get filled? The truth is it’s pretty much impossible. Whenever someone has something, he wants more. As the Talmud tells us “mi she’yeish lo me’ah rotza matayim”- He who has one hundred wants two hundred. The more we have, the more we try to fill ourselves, the hungrier and more we desire next time. Everything that we get gives us a desire for more. Even having a stomach surgery only makes one feel that you can’t eat more and are full, but as long as there’s still food on the table, the heart still wishes it had a little more room for some more of that chulent, kishka or corned beef that still sitting there on the table. Take it from a guy with experience.

 It’s not just food. Its everything. Its honor. Its recognition. Its love. Its support. Its possessions. Its knowledge. We’re never full. We always want more. There’s only one way in the world that a person can really be full. And that is if they have entirely negated themselves and they become mere vessels that serve as a pipeline for Hashem to fill them up. That’s miluim. That’s what the Kohanim’s job is. They are full because they are tapped into the infinite nature of Hashem. It’s an endless stream of shefa- of blessing and holiness that pours through them. They are the pipelines of that to the rest of the world. And those pipes only work when there is no ego, no sense of self that blocks or impedes that flow from pouring forth. They exist with only one purpose. To be filled with the glory of Hashem and shine Him out to the rest of the world.

The 7 days of Miluim correspond to the 7 days of Creation. The path from heaven to earth was being channeled through them. The Yom Ha’shemini is the day when that connection happened. It’s not a day that stands in of itself. It’s not the “First”. Rather it’s the eighth. It’s when heaven met earth and the shechina came down. It’s when there were miluimnikim- holy priests that were anointed with the same holy oil that any other vessel in the Temple was anointed with, because they themselves had become mere vessels in the service of Hashem. They were the bridge between the nation and the entire world and our Creator.

 Is there a better word to use for our holy soldiers today? They put everything aside for Hashem, for the nation, for His and our land. They are burning with that fire of Hashem and will step into a war zone, a tunnel, a tank. They will face the worst animals fearlessly. They don’t think of their children, their wives, their girlfriends, their businesses, their farms, their responsibilities. They’re just there as vessels of our nation. Isn’t it amazing that a draft notice in Israel is called a Tzav Shmona- named after the section eight article in the defense ministries’ law amendment about emergency draft call up in time of war. Yet the two parshiyot that talk about the days of Miluim are none other than last week’s parsha called Tzav and this week called Shemini. C’mon, that’s cool… You’re never gonna hear those two words the same again. Admit it.

 What does it mean to be a vessel entirely empty of self? Let’s take a look at that Yom Ha’Shemini again. The day is complete. The offerings are brought. Aharon stands on the altar and blesses, for the first time in history, that blessing that we give our own children each Friday night and on every important occasion of their lives. He has finally become the vessel to bring down that blessing from Hashem.

 Yevarechecha Hashem V’Yishmerecha -Hashem should bless you and watch over you. He should give His light and grace to you. He should always find favor and turn His Face towards you and grant you peace.

 And yet that blessing worked for everyone besides his own two children. They are killed moments later in the service of Hashem that they did incorrectly. They were sacrificed. All eyes are towards Aharon. He is mourning. He wants to stop it all. His natural sense of grief is overtaking him. What can or could one say? Moshe his brother turns to him at that point and tells him the following only words of consolation that we have in the entire Torah.

 “This is what Hashem spoke to say over

“With those that are close to me I will be sanctified and upon the face of the entire nation I will be honored”

 Va’yidom Aharon- and Aharon was silent.

 What do these words mean? How does this console Aharon? At a simple glance it would almost seem like an ‘I-told-you-so” hurtful thing to say. “See, Aharon this is what Hashem was talking about and said would happen”. And what does the silence of Aharon mean? It doesn’t say he was consoled. Rather he was silent, which would seem to say that he just became quiet yet was perhaps still mourning and hurting.

 Rashi has one approach that most are familiar with, which is what Moshe told him was that “the ones that Hashem was close with and is sanctified through” is referring to Nadav and Avihu. It is only because of their exalted state that Hashem took them. This is almost a eulogy or a feel-good type of praise that Moshe was telling Aharon about the exalted state of his children that were taken.

 The Rashbam and Chizkuni take a very different approach though. They explain that the holy ones that Hashem will be sanctified with are in fact Aharon and his remaining surviving Kohein children themselves. Not necessarily Nadav and Avihu. Moshe was telling them, that to be miluim for Hashem, to be a vessel, means that one does not even have any personal grief. There’s nothing personal because there is no “you” besides the will of Hashem. It’s to understand that your job, Aharon, is to be a domeim- a mere inanimate vessel; a pipe of blessing and service of Hashem. A pot in the temple doesn’t cry if it gets scratched or broken. It’s a vessel. If you are able to see yourself as that, then you will be filled. Then that faith will tap into the infinite. You will be connected to Hashem and you will be the pipeline that all of Israel will as well connect and receive blessing through. It’s through that, Hashem’s name will be honored. This loss, Aharon, is your tzav shmona. Are you up to the task?

 Va’Yidom Aharon- and Aharon became a domeim. He became that pipeline. The Shemini LaMiluim happened in its entirety. Heaven and Earth were one.

 After meeting Shira, I opened up her Psalm 89 and started to read it. It was unreal. Her son Eitan, stepped into that fiery furnace just as him namesake Avraham did. He joined Avraham in Shamayim and sits next to him learning the Daf Yomi as I’m sure all those who gave their lives on Kiddush Hashem do as well. Then I imagine they recite together the words that are in this Psalm.; the psalm of Avraham Avinu, the psalm of Eitan. The eternal words that were his life and his death. His life of Miluim.

 These are some of the verses from that Psalm (with my addendums). Words written then, but that are the story of Eitan, Shira, Dor, all our soldiers, our nation, our martyrs. Of the day after the 7^th  of October. The post-Shemini Atzeret world we are in.

 3) For I have said, "The world is built with kindness; there in the heavens You establish Your faithfulness.”- It’s about building worlds. Worlds from the heavens to earth of faith.

 4-5). I have made a covenant with My chosen one; I have sworn to David, My servant: "I will establish Your descendants forever; I will build your throne for all generations," Selah.- It’s eternal. It’s your descendants. It’s Eitan. That’s what the throne is built upon.

 6,8-9) Then the heavens will extol Your wonders, Hashem; Your faithfulness, too, in the congregation of the holy ones… The Almighty is revered in the great assembly of Kedoshim-the holy ones, awe-inspiring to all who surround Him... Hashem, Tzvaot, who is mighty like You, Hashem! Your faithfulness surrounds You- Hashem is sanctified through the Kedoshim, He is Hashem, the head of Tzvaot- the army, because of the faith of these kedoshim. It’s how the world and the heavens will praise and receive Your wonders. Because we continue to sing His praise.

 12) Yours are the heavens, the earth is also Yours; the world and all therein-You established them.- heaven and earth connects when this happens. The glory of Hashem has a pipeline to earth.

 20) Then You spoke in a vision to Your pious ones and said: "I have granted aid to the mighty one; I have exalted the one chosen from among the people. – This Psalm as a vision. He has chosen one from you. Eitan. A kadosh.

21). I have found David, My servant; I have anointed him with My holy oil.- he has been anointed. He is in Miluim. He is the vessel to reveal My greatness. No one can hurt him. He will destroy the enemies before him.

 27-28). He will call out to Me, 'You are my Father, my God, the strength of my deliverance.’ I will also make him [My] firstborn, supreme over the kings of the earth.- Eitan is my Firstborn. Klal Israel is. I will never revoke my covenant as long as they fulfill my commandments.

 The Psalm then turns to October 7^th and describes what happens if however, we are not following the ways of Hashem

33)  then I will punish their transgression with the rod and their misdeeds with plagues- I will bring attacks. I will bring Corona. I will not abandon them, but I will not allow you to abandon and write Me off as well.

 And if that doesn’t wake you up. If doesn’t work and bring you back to Me, then what you did to Me, I will do to You. There is blockage in the pipeline. We need to reconnect. There needs to be a new miluim. And so Shemini Atzeret happens

 41-44) You shattered all his fences; You turned all his strongholds into ruin.  All wayfarers despoiled him; he has become a disgrace to his neighbors. You have uplifted the right hand of his adversaries; You have made all his enemies rejoice.  You also turned back the blade of his sword and did not sustain him in battle.

 And then

46) You have cut short the days of his youth- You took him… He is Your Korban. He was taken at age 21. You’ve taken so many youth… so many children…so much mourning… so many sacrifices

And so we awaken and cry out..

47-52). How long Hashem, will You conceal Yourself-forever? [How long] will Your Chamas- fury blaze like fire?- Yes it says the word Chamas…! That’s the fury of Hashem.

 Remember how short my life span is! Why have You created all children of man for naught?  What man can live and not see death, can save his soul forever from the grave? Where are Your former deeds of kindness, Hashem, which You swore to David in Your faithfulness? Remember, Hashem, the disgrace of Your servants, that I bear in my chest from all the many nations; that Your enemies have disgraced, Hashem, that they have disgraced the footsteps of Mashiach.

 And then we become a domeim with this incredible prophetic eternal Psalm’s last words of conclusion.

 53). Blessed is the Lord forever, Amen and Amen.

 We praise you. We have Emuna/ faith in you. Amen and Amen. In grief and in celebration. We do that because we are connected to the eternal. We are in Miluim. When we console someone, we tell them Ha’Makom Yenachem eschem- The place will comfort you. This is the consolation of Moshe. That is the one that he was told not just to tell Aharon, but “leimor”- to tell over to every mourner for all times. The more that we make place and allow Hashem to fill us, that is the degree we can be comforted. He is our Place. He as well is mourning Tzion and Yerushalayim. That we are not yet connected. That the pipeline is still not complete. We just need to make that place and it will all be over. We will be reunited. Mashiach will come. U’bala Hamaveis la’netzach. There will not be anymore death. Just eternal life.  

 The Ibn Ezra notes that this Psalm is the one of Mashiach. It is the covenant of Dovid Hamelech and all of his soldiers for all generations. We hear those footsteps of Mashaich his descendant. It’s no coincidence that this started on the Yom Hashemini. Eitan hy’d was killed 46 days after the war started. 46 days when he began his first miluim. 46 days after the 7 days of Sukkos. On the Yom Ha’Shmini. That’s 53 days total and this psalm has 53 verses in it. May our miluim duty finally be complete and may the shechina of Hashem once again come down and shine from the entrance of His tent here in Yerushalayim eternally.

Have a fulfilling Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

*****************************************************

PESACH IS ALMOST HERE HAVE YOU GOTTEN THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR THIS HOLIDAY YET???

(All proceeds go to supporting our local shul who”s campaign recently you may have not yet contributed to although you had meant to of course… 😊)

 

HERE”S A FREE SAMPLER LINK!!!

Rabbi Schwartzes Pesach book Sampler! CLick!

 Can you believe that Pesach is right around the corner? The great holiday is coming around the bend and I’m sure you’ve started getting ready with your preparations. Making your plans, cleaning your house, buying your matzos, finishing up your Chametz and even beginning to think about all of the inspiration that you will tap into this great holiday and that you will share with your family.

Well, as usual when it comes to inspiration and insights, we want to be here to help you and therefore we’ve got the best gift you can buy yourself or whoever you wish to share this holiday with. None other than Rabbi Schwartz’s two great books aptly titled

"The Most Enjoyable Book You'll Ever Read About Pesach"

That totally sold out is in its second printing and the follow-up that original work

From the Back page blurb

Really?!! The most enjoyable book about Pesach?

What will I find here that I haven't heard before?

You'll have to read it to find out. One thing we can guarantee is that this book will certainly be one that you will be able to enjoy over and over again.

With his world-renowned wit and wisdom and his love for every Jew, Israel, and inspiration (and chulent), Rabbi Schwartz brings to life the timeless and yet original messages and ideas that the holiday of Pesach can and should mean to every Jew.

TABLE OF CONTENTS INCLUDE GREAT CHAPTERS ON

Shabbos Ha’Gadol, Exile, the Plagues, Pesach Seder and Redemption

And great articles enjoyably and mystically titled

Just one Shabbos,

Kid-ding Around

Ani V’Atah

The Worst Jew

Bedtime Stories

Of Mouth and Men

Plagued!

Animal House

Jewish Trip Planning,

The Holy Prophet

A Song for the Ages

Make Me Proud

And many many more…

 

AND THEN ROUND OUT YOUR COLLECTION WITH BOOK NUMBER TWO CREATIVELY TITLED…

The- 'Next'- Most Enjoyable Book You'll Ever Read About Pesach""

Your Most Enjoyable Pesach Book 2.0.

 

From the slave pits in Egypt to the jungles of Africa, the streets of Jerusalem to the locked-down houses in Karmiel, Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz with his enthusiasm, inspiration and laughter, guides you through the holiday of Pesach as you've never experienced it before.

Whether you've joined him on tours, read his Mishpacha magazine columns, been inspired by his teachings, or whether you just like his picture on the cover of this book, you are sure to be enlightened, inspired and entertained. This year God Willing will finally be the year of Redemption IYH and you want to make sure your ready for that special passion of Eretz Yisrael and appreciate Pesach in the most enjoyable way with Rabbi Schwartz

Great chapters include

Imaginary worlds

Scar-place

Jungle time

Coro-nachas

The first seder

Zaydie maysehs

Plague-demic

Hitting the jackpot

Galus america

The morning after

and much much more

It's the perfect Pesach Prep book, an amazing Seder accompaniment and the perfect way to enjoy your holiday as never before

From the back cover

Quotes- That Were Never Said

This is a really great book, I'm so glad that my son become a rabbi, tour guide, and author rather than a Doctor or a Lawyer ."-My Mother

Our father is a very wise man and we love listening quietly at the Shabbos table to his Torah E-mails -My children

"This is a really great book, I'm so glad that my son become a rabbi, tour guide, and author rather than a Doctor or a Lawyer ."-My Mother

 "This book has changed my life in so many ways; I attribute all my success in life to Rabbi Schwartz's insights and weekly Inspiration."-- Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz

 "I knew that when I threw him out of my Yeshiva it would inspire him to become the next leader of the Jewish people."- -Quite a few of my Rabbis and Principals

 “This book contains no pictures of women and barely mentions any female names— besides the ones who make chulent- Most Jewish magazines

“I love being on a diet; it makes me feel so healthy."- The author

From the beginner to the greatest scholar, from the Kabbalist to the Chasid to the Yeshiva student, young and old, this book will definitely be the most enjoyable book you've ever read about Pesach.

STOP CLEANING FOR FIVE MINUTES AND CLICK ON THE LINK-YOU DESERVE THE BREAK-YOU KNOW THIS WILL MAKE YOUR PESACH EVEN MORE ENJOYABLE

This is almost as important as buying Matza!!

To order this book which is not available in stores this year, please respond to this E-Mail to Rabbi Schwartz

The book is a 65 NIS or $25 USD donation for one or both for 125 Shek or $36 to the Young Israel of Karmiel and Rabbi Schwartz'es weekly insights

 (plus shipping where necessary)

Please be in touch and be the first ones to get this for this year, before it hits stores next year...

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3) or for Israelis by BIT or PAYBOX to 050-597-0649 אפרים שוורץ

 

4) FINALLY, NEW OPTION THIS YEAR- IF YOU’D LIKE TO MAKE YOUR ENTIRE PURCHASE TAX DEDUCTIBLE AND MAKE A DONATION AS WELL FOR OUR SPECIAL PESACH FUND THAN EVERY DONATION OF $100 OR MORE WILL GET YOU FREE COPIES OF THE BOOKS AND YOU CAN MAKE A US TAX DECUCTIBLE DONATION AT THE FOLLOWING LINK

http://weblink.donorperfect.com/YI_Karmiel_My_Nation_Fund

 

************************

CHIZUK/TZEDAKA OPPORTUNITY OF THE WEEK

B’Yachad Ninatzeyach Pesach Campaign- I’m sure all of you have heard about my good friend and colleague Shai Graucher and seen all his videos and Tik Toks and incredible Kiddush Hashem in bringing comfort and chizuk to the so so many that have lost family members and are suffering in Eretz Yisrael. The man is amazing! And you know me there are not too many people that I can say I admire or are even jealous of in terms of the tremendous merits he has for all of his holy work in bringing the shechina down to this world and bringing Mashiach, by bringing achdus and chesed to our once divided and now wounded nation.

 This Pesach he has an incredible campaign to help out the families of those suffering from this war. The so many widows, orphans, hostage families and those who have lost everything. Please find it in your heart to donate to this campaign. The needs are incredible and the chesed and chizuk especially in this time of year right before the geula can be brought faster with you just clicking donating and being part of it.

 PLEASE SEND ME SCREENSHOTS OF YOUR DONATIONS SO I CAN FORWARD TO OUR fARMERS  and let them know that our Readers love THEM and appreciate WHAT THEY’RE GOING THROUGH AND WHAT THEY DO FOR OUR COUNTRY

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_A9VzZuImM – Here’s his first hundred days of kindness

 And here’s the link to donate

https://www.charidy.com/pesach  

 YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Az dos harts iz ful, gai’en di oigen iber”- When the heart is full, the eyes overflow.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

NEW EXAM THIS WEEK LET’S SEE HOW YOU DO!

1. The tel that is identified in archaeological research with the Philistine city of Gat

is Tel________

At which site was an arched gate from the Middle Bronze Age found?

A) Ashkelon

B) Jerusalem

C) Hatzor

D) Lachish

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGe3eoVOoEU – This is an interview with Eitan Dishon’s father and some video of who this kadosh was

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FN1TjcOhmk    – Wow! What an amazing song on these words from tha Hagadda with this song (and what a voice) Shloimy Gertner… Worth the listen and watch just for the vort and insight besides the great song…

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0qCMZKPkNw  -  what a beautiful song by Aharaon Razel with the families of Yeshiva Neve Shmuel who lost so many soldiers. Eich Eh’ehleh el Avi.. just the words alone are beautiful.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIXzs08qkog  – Moving memorial song from the Razel family Ima Ima in memory of their mother who made aliya and was nifter. Really special…

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jpQvARYDHg  – Matisyahu returns with his latest moving heartwrenching October 7^th Song Ascent- (Shir Hamaalos)

  RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK

Thank You Hashem- One of the functions of this column is to take some of the prayers that we have been saying all our lives and now trying to find new meaning and understanding that will uplift our davening in this time when our prayers are so essential. And of course to tie it into the parsha as well, for as I always say and believe the parshat hashavua isn’t just a history or Torah study exercise. It’s a message and lesson for me today. There’s something I can find there that will change my approach to prayers daily that can give me new inspiration.

 In our daily Shmona Esrei after all of our requests and before we begin the thanksgiving phase of that prayer of Modim, we conclude with the blessing of “Retzei”

 Retzei Hashem elokeinu b’amcha Yisrael u’visfilasam she’eih…- desire Hashem Your nation and turn towards their prayers.

V’ishei Yisrael u’tefillasam b’ahava tikabel b’ratzon- and the “fire offerings” and their prayers accept with desire.

 It seems that there are two things we are asking for in this concluding blessing. Hashem should want us and our prayers. But that exactly are these “fire offerings” we are asking for. Did we bring any sacrifices? And why specifically the Ishei- fire offerings?

 The Rav of Karmiel, Rav Margalit in his incredible sefer Mapik Margalit brings from his grandfather Rav Yisrael Chasida an incredible insight. He notes that in our parsha in the first verse on the 8^th day of Miluim,  opening day for the Mishkan when Hashem commands Moshe to tell Aharon to bring the sacrifices of that day. He says this is done

“ki ha’yom Hashem nirah aleichem- because today Hashem will appear to you.

The sifrei kabala note that the last two words “nirah” and “aleichem” can be rearranged and contains the same letters as the words Aharon and Michael. Aharon is the one who brings offerings down here while Michael is the angel above that brings the sacrifices above in the Beit Ha’Mikdash in heaven. The sacrifices above, the Zohar tells us are the righteous who were sanctified on kiddush Hashem.

 On this day Aharon and Michael both brought sacrifices. Aharon’s two sons were “sacrificed” and Michael brought them up on high. It’s as well why when they are told to remove the bodies Elazar and Itamar were told kirvu- come close and take them out. Kirvu is the word for korban. They were brought as offerings before Hashem. The day of the inauguration the two temples above and below joined. The worlds collided. The shechina came down and was honored on the faith, the sacrifice and prayers of am Yisrael. The world was complete.

 When we complete our daily requests this is the final request. That all of the sacrifices, all the martyrs that Hashem has taken from us should be l’ratzon. They should join our prayers. There shouldn’t be any more korbanos taken. Hashem should wish and only desire our avoda. And then we conclude the blessing

Ha’machzir shechinaso l’tziyon- He should return His shechina to Zion.

 That is what we are waiting for. That’s the prayer on all  our lips. A new insight, an old prayer. It’s for us today.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

722 BC-The Greatest Korban Pesach since Solomon- With Chizkiya having set the tone in kingdom for a new reign of Teshuva in Klal Yisrael, he set up to reestablish the Bais Hamikdash. The Navi tells us what better time than Pesach. And thus just as the Temple was inaugurated in Nisan thus it happened again in the times of Chizkiya All of The people of Yehudah came and brought the Pesach Sacrifice. The problem was that there were many that were not pure. They hadn’t paid attention to the Parshat Parah that we read last week. Yet the other sacrifices were brought with much pomp. It was huge. There was music. There was dancing. It was for all seven days of Pesach. There were thousands of sheep and hundreds of oxen that were slaughtered and offered. There was so many that the Levites had to kick in and start doing the service as well. The Blood was sprinkled on the nation. The greatest part the Navi tells us was that all of this was unexpected. It came suddenly. The whole thing turned around in a second. From the evil kingdom of Achaz to teshuva and a return to Jerusalem of old in a second.

 

But it didn’t end there. For after Pesach messengers went out to the rest of the remaining tribes to join for the Pesach sheini offering on the next month. Hashem had given us a second chance. They didn’t make it for the first there’s always a second chance. Some of the other tribes mocked them, but a movement began. And slowly but surely the nation came. Thousands upon thousands. There were even many that came but were too late to have the proper purity. They ate this sacrifice anyways. It’s a sin. It’s bad. But they wanted to so bad. Hashem punished them and they became sick. Yet, remarkably Chizkiya prayed on their behalf and they were forgiven. They were healed. There’s nothing that was going to stop this party. This joy.

 For this Pesach Sheni was greater than the original Korban Pesach that brought. Chizkiya himself donated one thousand bulls and seven thousand sheep. The officers donated ten thousand sheep.Just as in our Parsha the kohanim got up and gave mass blessings. This was the greatest moment in our history since the times of Dovid and Shlomo. The people then took down whatever remaining altars were in the nation. It’s mind blowing. It happened so quickly. You can understand why our sages tell us that this could’ve been it. This could’ve been Mashiach. Everything was in place. But it didn’t happen. It was the last hurrah…. How could we lose this?

 Stay tuned next week, but as well ponder how could we lose what we have today, how quickly it can turn one way or another. Learn history the Torah tells us. That’s what this column is all about. It’s those days… but it’s today.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE ARMY JOKES OF THE WEEK

Acronyms at their best: -ARMY -- A Recruiter Misled You

 What do you call a soldier who ends is always saving a couple of important things? Reserves!

 What do you call kids in the military? Infantry.

 A soldier shows up for military training but realizes he forgot to bring his gun. The sergeant hands him a stick and gestures to the training field.

 “You’ll have to use this, soldier. If you need to shoot someone, just aim your stick at them and shout ‘Bangity bang-bang’. If someone gets too close to you, poke them in the gut with it as though it was a bayonette and shout ‘Stabbity stab-stab’. Now get moving.”

 The soldier thinks this is pretty ridiculous, but to his surprise, when he aims his stick at a fellow trainee across the field and shouts “Bangity bang-bang!” the other soldier goes down in a theatrical display. Then, another trainee tries to run past him, so he pokes the guy in the ribs and shouts “Stabbity stab-stab!” and he too goes down, pretending to be dead.So, the soldier starts running through the mock-battlefield, shouting “Bangity bang-bang” and occasionally “Stabbity-stab-stab”, until eventually, he realizes he’s the last man standing. He’s feeling pretty proud of himself until another soldier rounds a corner and starts walking toward him. Slowly. Stiffly. Menacingly.

The soldier takes aim with his stick and shouts, “Bangity-bang-bang!”

 But the other soldier doesn’t go down this time. He keeps approaching, arms stiff at his sides, boots stomping aggressively into the ground. The soldier begins to sweat. He clears his throat, adjusts grip on his stick and hollers, “Bangity bang-bang!”

But nothing happens. The other soldier keeps marching toward him.

Now the soldier panics. He pretends to reload his stick and desperately cries out, “Bangity bang-bang! Bangity bang-bang! Stabbity stab-stab!”

But to his dismay, nothing works. Finally, the other soldier reaches him, kicks him in the shin and knocks him onto the ground.He stands over the fallen soldier and says:

“Tankity tank-tank.”

 

What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran.

 Did you hear about the accident on base? A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two kernels.

 A drill sergeant grumbles at his fresh young trainee, “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning, Private.”

“Thank you very much, Sir,” replies the soldier.

 Air Force pilot to a seaman: “You’re telling me that you’re in the Navy but can’t swim?”

Seaman: “You’re in the Air Force. Can you fly?”

 During training exercises, the Lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel.

"Your car stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside.

"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. "Yours is."

  What do you get when you drop a piano on an Army officer? A flat major.

 What kind of breath mints do military officers use? Tac-tics

 What is the best way to refer to a military officer who always makes you stay with them? You call him a company commander!

 What is the ideal way to call a military soldier who has a couple of tours under his belt and can take very good care of animals? You most definitely refer to him as a vet!

 British Military Jokes

What do you call a Royal Marine who can read and write? "Sir!"

What do you call a Royal Marine with an IQ of 160? A platoon.

What do you call a military officer who visits the bathroom way too often? You should call him a lootenant!

How do you keep a Royal Marine happy in his old age? Tell him a joke when he is young.

How do you know when a date with an RAF pilot is halfway over? He will say, "Enough about me. Want to hear about my plane?"

RAF pilot: "That's it! We're flying faster than the speed of sound!" Co-pilot: "What?"

What do you call a high-ranking officer who hates recycling? General Waste

 My friend asked why I would not tell him my military rank. I told him it's Private.

 An off-duty soldier took a train. When the train reached its first stop, a general walked in, and the soldier stood up. The General said, "At ease soldier, sit down."

The train reached its second stop, again the soldier stood up, and the General once again said, "At ease soldier, sit down."

When the train reached its third stop, again, the soldier stood up. This time, the General looked at him and said, "You don't have to salute every time we reach a stop."

The soldier replied, "I want to get off, I missed my stop 2 stations ago."

 What do you call a soldier who never made it past boot camp? A Police Officer.

An Aussie soldier and an American soldier are pinned down in a firefight. The Aussie gets up and begins flailing his arms and laughing. When he gets back in the foxhole, the American says: "Did you come here to die?"

The Aussie responds, "Nah, I came here yesterday."

 Two low ranking soldiers were talking … It was a private conversation.

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 The answer to this week”s question is A– New exam and I’m off to an amazing start! I got the first question right and I really wasn’t sure I would. I’m not that great with Philistine Tel’s I don’t do it often and certainly not since I’ve stopped guiding and been doing these Chizuk trips. Yet, somewhere in the back of my brain I was able to recollect the name Tel Tzafit as being Gat. I wasn’t sure but I was right! Cool! The second part though was easy. I knew about the ancient gate in Ashkelon its one of the oldest in the world or at least it was until we just recently found older ones it seems in Yaffo and In Kiryat Gat from what I saw online. But those weren’t even choices… so I got them both right and we start off this new exam with the score being Rabbi Schwartz 1 and Ministry of Tourism 0!