The Healthy Choice- Parshat Nitzavim 6781/2021 Rosh Hashana 5782 Edition

 

Insights and Inspiration

                                                                       from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

September 3rd  2021 -Volume 11 Issue 47 26^th Elul

(Dear Friends and Readers please don't skip over our annual Appeal after this E-Mail below. It's been a challenging year and we could use your support!)

Parshat Nitzavim- Rosh Hashana

The Healthy Choice

 Yes, it's me. Don't let the title to this E-Mail fool you. I know you'd never thought that you'd see me writing an E-Mail called "The Healthy Choice". It's kind of like reading an E-Mail written by Donald Trump called "A Humble Life" or one by Biden titled "Intelligent Leadership" or by Dr. Fauci called "I know what I'm doing". Sure, I had my stomach surgery and can't eat as much or much at all to be precise. But don't worry. I still love my chulent, kugel and herring and even has about an 1/8^th of a bagel lox and cream cheese by my twin grandchildren's bris this past Sunday. I'm not switching to spelt, organic goat cheese or tofu anytime soon. I'm not reading any of those triangle food pyramid charts with a bunch of vegetables on it. I've made fun of too many vegetarians and health food junkies that are married to me or my son for too long to ever go down that road.

But the truth is, that it's really been the first time in my life that I have been forced to make food choices in my eating selection. I have limited stomach space- also for the first time I think- and I have to decide what food dishes that I am going to be eating from and what I'll be passing up on. I can't have the whole smorgasbord or four or more courses anymore. There just isn't any room.

  Now I'm not talking about the silly self-inflicted Jewish choices that some create for themselves, like flaysh-a-phobia that some people have about eating steak or meat for fear that they might find some ice cream. Obviously you go with the animal that was slaughtered for your eating pleasure rather than the possibility of some anti-semitic Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey. Nor am I talking about the bentch-o-phobics, who have an aversion or allergy to having to recite a four minute thank you to Hashem and will refuse to partake in the delicious Baguette or hamburger or hot dog bun and even worse the Pita with salatim. Really?!! You should be looking for excuses to bentch in order to just to be able to thank Hashem for all the goodness He has done. I have never understood this seemingly satan-driven affliction.

 What I'm talking about is do I have three spoons of soup on Friday Night at the expense that I might not have room for a few nibbles of potato kugel. Is it worth it to pass on a few tastes of gefilte fish and have a little more room for some brisket. Should I just forget about dessert? What about drinking? My Dietician (and someone else told me that the Rambam as well) says that one shouldn't drink while they eat. She actually wanted me to wait 15 minutes after I drink before eating and wait a half hour after the meal until I drink again. Well that hasn't happened. I need to drink when I eat. But the truth is that takes up room as well in the belly and I know it comes at the expense of not being able to have something tasty in its place…. Sighh... All these new healthy choices I'm finding myself having to make. One would think that it would makes you lose your appetite after a while…But actually surprisingly I'm finding that it does quite the opposite. I'm now practicing what I have decided to call conscious eating. And frankly I recommend it highly.

 See, whereas in the past I would more often than not just inhale my food quickly restocking my plate with the next delicacy to come to the table, that's no longer the case. Now, once I have made my decision about what I want to eat, when I then take a bite out of it I actually pay attention to it. I feel it. I roll it around in my mouth a bit. It's like I used to do with a good scotch (which I still have to wait a few months or so before I'm allowed to imbibe). I appreciate it. I feel it. I enjoy it. I make it last more. And best of all- at least spiritually- because I have so much time on my hands or my mouth before I can take another bite, I think about Hashem. I think about the bracha I just made. I think about how perfect His world is. How tasty it is. What an amazing cook of a wife He blessed me with. I'm getting the full deal. It's new, it's weird and it really is very satisfying. As well I believe it's the perfect and easiest avoda to do as we approach Rosh Hashana. Don't believe me? Let me show you in this week's Parsha what I'm talking about.

 Parshat Nitzavim is a pretty short parsha. The last Aliya though capsulizes the way Hashem presents life to us. I'll quote a bit

 Devarim (30:15-19) Behold, I have set before you today life and good, and death and evil,

 And there we have our choice. Curtain number 1) and Curtain number 2). In case you don't exactly get it, Hashem clarifies…

 inasmuch as I command you this day to love Hashem, your God, to walk in His ways, and to observe His commandments, His statutes, and His ordinances, so that you will live and increase, and Hashem, your God, will bless you in the land to which you are coming to take possession of it.

 OK that's Curtain 1).  Clear to you now? Now Curtain 2) on the other hand…

 But if your heart deviates and you do not listen, and you will be drawn astray, and you will prostrate yourself to other deities and serve them, I declare to you this day, that you will surely perish, and that you will not live long days on the land, to which you are crossing the Jordan, to come and take possession thereof.

 So we have a choice. Which one is the healthy choice? Life or death? Blessing or curse? Israel or Boro Park? Or Germany? Or Spain? Or Africa?

But then Hashem cheats a bit on this choice He has given us

 You shall choose life, so that you and your offspring will live.

 Hey! What happened to our free will? Isn't that cheating if He tells us what to do? Rashi seems to see it this way. As he elaborates.

 Hashem says: “Even though you have free choice, nevertheless,] I instruct you to choose the portion of life.” It is like a man who says to his son, “Choose for yourself a fine portion of my estate,” and then directs him to the best portion, saying to him, “This [is the portion which] you should choose for yourself!”

 Now my parents were not the type to give me the answers to my homework, although my mother did sit down with me and make me do it and my father would sit with me as well when she made him. I certainly don't think I've ever done the homework for my kids. Baruch Hashem they never saw this Rashi though. For they might have been able to use it against me as a source that there's nothing wrong with a good parent – like Hashem in giving their children the right answer to our choices. But really there's a bigger problem.

In truth really what type of choice is it? I mean c'mon man…This seems to be a no-brainer. Who wants death and curse? Who doesn't want life and blessing? If Hashem is going to give us the answers to questions already, I could use Him for my geometry work, or about some deeper philosophical questions or even some of my tour guide questions of the week. Why does He feel the need to tell us to choose life? What's here that we can't figure out on our own from the vivid descriptions he has given us about the two curtains and paths that are before us.

 The answer the Slonimer Rebbi suggests is that there are two paths and reasons to serve Hashem. The first is because its process of elimination. Curtain 2) sounds really scary. I don't want to go to Gehennom. I don't want to lose our land. I don't want all of those terrible curses we read in the Tochacha last week to befall me or anyone I know. I don't want Co-Vid. I don't want to be unemployed. I don't want to die in a flood, a fire, an earthquake or in a concentration camp. So therefore as a result of that I choose Curtain 1).

 But that, the Slonimer Rebbi says, is not choosing life. It's just not choosing death. Choosing life, though, which is what Hashem tells us to do, is about conscious eating. It's about seeing and appreciating how important life is. What a blessing it is. What incredible things we are meant to experience, to taste, to live for, to accomplish. It's about rolling those blessings and prayers for life around in your mouth a bit before you swallow them. It's about thinking about the world that is full of rejoicing, about Yerushalayim rebuilt, about the righteous dancing and singing in the Temple. It's also about a world where evil is totally eradicated. Where the entire world is full of the knowledge of Hashem. With a united humanity that is basking in His glory. A world of total good. The garden of Eden.

 I know that all of this sounds foreign to most of us. It feels weird and fake even writing it. But that's because we're not consciously living. We're not tasting the food of the goodness of life that He's given us with every breath, with every blessing, with every new day. We're not choosing life. We're just trying to avoid death and bad stuff all the time.  We're just trying "To make it through another day".

Hashem tells us Erev Rosh Hashana that's not what he advises us to do. It's the advice of a beloved Father to his children. Choose life. Make the healthy choice. Don't come to Me on Rosh Hashana and just ask Me not kill you, not to curse you. Ask Me for the gift of the best life that I want you to have. But first you have to make that decision that that's what you really want on your plate.

Perhaps this explains the custom we have each Rosh Hashana, that we don't find any other time of the year, to eat all types of foods as a good Siman.- fortuitous sign.  Hashem doesn't just want us to ask for a good year. He wants us to really taste it. To consciously choose it. To pick up that apple and dip it honey and say mmmmm… I want this for this year. To pick up that brilliant red juicy pomegranate and see all those little sweet seeds and say that's how I want my mitzvos to taste this year. To look into those googly little dead fish head eyes and say… hmmm being a head is gotta be better than being a tail… right… OK maybe I'm pushing it. But you get the point.

 There's only another few days left to Rosh Hashana. This Shabbos is the last Shabbos of the year. It's the last chulent of 5781. Taste it appreciate it. Choose it. Small bite by small bite. Turn to your family and see how wonderful they are. Think about how much more wonderful you wish they could be. You wish you could be. Hashem wants us to choose that life. We will be asking Him for it repeatedly over the next week and half or so. Let's start making the healthy choice He suggested we make.

  Have a fantastic final Shabbos of 5781 and may everyone be blessed with Shana Tova and U'Mesuka. A sweet, happy and healthy New Year.

 Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 This week's Insights and Inspiration has been sponsored by my dear longtime friend Ari Davis in appreciation of all of the weekly inspiration and our friendship. May the new year bring all of the readers of this weekly inspiration and all of Klal Yisrael only simcha, brachas, nachas and Mashiach!

 Wishing all a Ksiva V'Chasima Tova.

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 HIGH HOLIDAY APPEAL 5782

(THANK YOU TO THE SO MANY OF YOU THAT HAVE ALREADY RESPONDED AND PARTNERED WITH US FOR THE COMING YEAR!)

In the coming weeks I plan on expressing my appreciation by name to each of you and your dedications that you have made in honor or a merit of someone)

To all the rest of you that haven't as of yet responded…

 HI! It's your "friend from Karmiel" here once again turning to you as we close out this year of 5781 before the High Holidays to ask if you might consider helping us out this year. I know that all of you don't read our weekly missives each week. They're long and who really has that much time on their hand- besides unemployed tour guides. But you do get a chance every so often to read and hopefully enjoy some of my musings, Torah, tour guide questions, Eretz Yisrael insights and at least some of the jokes. As well I hope you've been enjoying my Mishpacha magazine links and this past year my weekly Whatsapp and Youtube Parsha short videos. If you're not yet on that list, by the way, then send me an E-Mail and I'll be happy to add you.

 This year has been more challenging than most for our Shul and community financially. Many of our local donors have lost their jobs, some have stopped coming to Shul, and many of our regular minyanim have taken a hit. But Baruch Hashem there have been good things that have happened this year as well. We have seen many Simchas, not just personally but throughout our community. There have been miracles and refuos and we have been blessed with many new Olim to our community. We're certainly living in amazing times.

I turn to you dear friends to ask if you might consider supporting our Shul, our weekly insights that go out each week to thousands and are read around the world. Our annual Shul donation and sponsorship income has dropped tremendously. We were not able to make our annual Purim appeal and even our annual pre- High Holiday weekly appeal is a fraction of what it was in previous years. In the past I personally have helped carry the deficit in our annual budget- I do not take a salary. Our expenses include rent, utilities, upkeep of shul, programs and of course Kiddush. Our Shul brings together Olim and Israelis from the entire spectrum of observance from Chareidi to those growing in their yiddishkeit. We're not a big shul. We don't have huge expenses, but as well we don't have large donors. Your friendship and support for our shul and my weekly  insights is meaningful and appreciated.

If you can find it within your heart to include us in you charitable giving this year. Every bit helps and will help us tremendously in continuing to do the great work in sharing the love of and passion for yiddishkeit, for am Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael. As our partners you will share in that merit and make this Rabbi smile as well.

Wishing you and your family a Ksiva V'chasima Tova and a year filled with only blessings, simcha, good health and much yiddishe Nachas.

 You can contribute to our annual campaign either with. As of now sadly your donations are neither US or Israel tax deductible. Although we hope that will change in the near future as we are well into the process of working through the necessary bureaucracies.

1) Zelle or Paypal to rabbschwartz@yahoo.com

 2) Or by using our paypal link on our Holyland Insights Blog  http://holylandinsights.blogspot.co.il/  and contribute via paypal on our website.

 ALL CONTRIBUTIONS CAN BE MADE AS A DEDICATION IN HONOR, OR IN MEMORY, IN APPRECIATION, OR FOR THE MERIT OF________ AND WILL BE SO NOTED

 Once again I wish to thank you in advance for your support and for all those who have expressed their appreciation and gratitude throughout the year with your E-Mails, sponsorships and dedications.

May Hashem bless all of us with a blessed and sweet New Year.

Warmly,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Vos veyniker men ret, alts gezinter iz"- The less you speak, the healthier you are

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

44) The personality for whom the wall was breached near the Jaffa Gate:

A) Emperor Frederick II

B) Emperor Franz Joseph

C) Emperor Wilhelm II

D) General Edmund Allenby

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/hashem-melech-r-ephraim-fina  - In honor of the day anoint Hashem as our King- give a listen to my Hashem Melech composition and then sing it the whole Rosh Hashana long… A Rabbi Schwartz favorite sung and arranged by Dovid Lowy

https://youtu.be/pCX2pVEIM0k   – Great Rabbi K video and song- Do you want to understand Monsey. Check out this video about Sheiners the most geshamake shul!

 https://youtu.be/FBtUTYFYaG4   – What an awesome between Israeli singers (including Shwekey) for this song sponsored by organization V'Sein Chelkeinu

 https://youtu.be/rX5NZzHudu0    – Mutty Shteimetz in this musical video story called a shmitteleh Gevayn about the struggles of a Shmitta farmer (Yiddish with English subs).

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Waiting for Us– Parshat Ki Nitzavim- This last Parsha that we read before Rosh Hashana contains the covenant between all of the Jewish people throughout all generations. Within that bris Hashem tells us that the land of Israel will be the guarantor of the agreement.

 Devarim (29:2-22) And a later generation, your descendants, who will rise after you, along with the foreigner who comes from a distant land, will say, upon seeing the plagues of that land and the diseases with which the Lord struck it: Sulfur and salt have burned up its entire land! It cannot be sown, nor can it grow [anything], not [even] any grass will sprout upon it. It is like the overturning of Sodom, Gemorrah, Admah and Zeboiim, which the Lord overturned in His fury and in His rage.

 After the destruction of our Temple, Eretz Yisrael was occupied by foreign nations and the majority of our people lived in foreign lands of Exile. That happens. It makes sense. We were occupied by our enemies. The miraculous thing though is that the land that was once blessed and fertile all of a sudden became barren. Nothing grew. It was cursed. In the words of Mark Twain who visited here in the 1800's

 "We traversed some miles of desolate country whose soil is rich enough but is given wholly to weeds – a silent mournful expanse... We never saw a human being on the whole route... hardly a tree or shrub anywhere. Even the olive and the cactus, those fast friends of a worthless soil, had almost deserted the country."

 The Ramban sees in this curse a blessing. The land will not be one that the nations will ever find rest in. They won't succeed in opening it up making it produce and work for them. Rabbeinu Bachaya takes this idea even a step further he says that from the day it was destroyed and we were exiled it will not produce until we return. It waited for us. The land knows that it only has one purpose in creation; to be the place where our nation could return to and flourish in and shine the light of Hashem out to the rest of the world from.

 There is no other country like this that can wait 2000 years for a certain nation to return until it produces. It's wired to us and that is one of the most important signs in history that Hashem as well is waiting for us. That He has wired creation to be programmed just for us and our return. For our repentance. For His home to finally return.

 The fact that He has allowed us to return and the land is once again flourishing is the greatest sign that we are in the end game of redemption. One more prayer, one more Rosh Hashana. One more Oleh with faith that gives up life in Chutz la'Aretz to live that dream is all we need. This is the lesson of the end of the year that we are meant to have at the forefront of our minds as we enter the High Holidays and recite repeatedly that Hashem once again return happiness to His land, rejoicing to His city. May 5782 be the year that we finally realize that dream.                                                                                                       

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

The Count & The Plague- 837 BC – The end of the book of Shmuel concludes with the various wars Dovid and his army had against the remaining giant Plishti brothers of Golyas. There were miraculous victories that came through the incredible generals Dovid had; Shama, Avishai and Benayahu. If that wasn't enough action though it seems Hashem still wanted to give Dovid and the Jewish people one last lick before his death to atone for his sin and for their sins of the support of Avshalom and their rebellions against Dovid. He did this by planting the idea in Dovid's mind that a census should be taken of the Jewish people. This was a big no-no.

 In Parsht Ki Tisa after the sin of the Golden Calf Hashem told Moshe to count the nation, however He qualified that in that each person needs to give a half shekel in order that there should not be any plague. Yet, Dovid forgot that halacha. This was retribution for him calling Hashem an instigator when he was trying to talk down Shaul. Yoav Dovid's general who was appointed to the task of leading the count was not excited about the job. But Dovid didn't really leave him much choice. And thus Dovid's final folly began.

 Yoav started his count on the other side of the Jordan River by the portion of Gad. Today that is associated with Hurbat Aroer in Jordan. From there he went around the Golan Heights to the portion of Dan to the city of Ya'an just north of there. From there it was over to the coast line to Tzidon which is in Lebanon and then all the way down the country to the Negev to the city of Bee'r Sheva. As you can imagine this was not an easy journey. In fact Yoav as well took his time with it hoping that Dovid would reconsider. He didn't. Yoav returned and gave Dovid the count which numbered close to a million. (there are differences between the count here and in the book of Ezra). And then it sunk in to Dovid that he had sinned. Uh Oh.

 Dovid davened all night long but in the morning the Navi Gad came to Dovid and told him that Hashem has given him a choice of punishments. He would have to select which one he wanted. Curtain Number 1) was 7 years of famine. Curtain 2) Three months of war in which Dovid would flee from his enemies or 3) three days of plague. Which one would you choose. Which would you choose after experiencing a year and a half of Corona plague?

Dovid decided to take Curtain number 3) for the plague. The reason for this choice is because he preferred to be given over to the hands of Hashem rather than in the hands of people. A famine would make him dependent on other nations for mercy and food. As well the hands of the enemy would obviously leave him in the gentile's hands. Other commentaries suggest that Dovid didn't want the people thinking or accusing him of trying to avoid the punishment. As obviously as King he would have enough food to ride out the famine. As well his people wouldn't let him be taken in war. Plague on the other hand, as we have learned this year can hit anyone; rich, poor, healthy, not healthy, old and young and even Vaxxed or not.

 And thus the plague hit the Jewish people and 70,000 died. That's an incredible amount of people in a mere 36 hours. 10 times as many that have died in the past year and half as a result of Covid. How does that plague end and what is the aftermath. Stay tuned next year- 5782, next week as we conclude the Book of Shmuel.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE HEALTH FOOD JOKES OF THE WEEK

What's orange, healthy for you, and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

Why are trees so healthy? They always have light meals.

It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest.

They always told me to put 5 colors on my plate to stay healthy. So how did I get diabetes on my M&M only diet?

What did the health conscious german say, when he entered Whole Foods? Gluten Morgen

Chicken soup is healthy for you. As long as you’re not the chicken.

Fitness experts recommend walking 10,000 steps per day to remain healthy.That is an awful lot of trips to the fridge.

Healthy eagles come from America. Ill eagles come from Mexico.

Today marks 4 weeks of isolation. Been running 2.5 miles a day, drinking 2 gallons of water, cut out ALL meat, sugar, dairy and flour. I feel great! Zero alcohol, a healthy vegan diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 30 minute home workout each day.

I have no idea who originally posted this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy & paste!

Why is eating honey so healthy? It contains a lot of vitamin Bee

You know, experts say that it’s healthy to cut carbs and they’re probably right. I just don’t know whether I should cut them with a knife or a fork.

Yankel and Breindy were an 85 year old couple is going on holiday, when they suddenly die in a plane crash... They had been married for 60 years, and kept in good health due to their healthy diet and regular exercise.

When they reached heaven, the heavenly angel took them to their mansion, decked out with a fully stocked kitchen, master bath suite, and their very own jacuzzi. As Breindy 'oohed' and 'aahed' at their new possessions, Yankel asked the malach how much all of this was going to cost. "It's all free," the malach replied. "We are in heaven, after all."

Next they surveyed the lush championship golf course behind their home, where they were entitled to play every day.

Of course, all Yankel wanted to know, was: "How much are the green fees?"

"It's free!" came the reply.

Next, they went to the club house, and saw the lavish buffet on offer, with all of the world's different cuisines on offer, every meal cooked to perfection.

"How much do we have to pay for two?" asked Yankel.

"Don't you understand, yet?!" the angel replied, exasperated. "It's all free, you're in heaven!"

"Well, where are the low fat and cholesterol tables then? The food won't have too many calories, will it?" the old man asked, looking quite worried.

"That's the best part of heaven,"  the malach said, excitedly. "You can eat as much of whatever you want, and you won't gain a single gram!"

With that, Yankel went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it wildly. His wife and the Malach tried to calm him down, asking what was wrong.

Yankel looked at Breindy and screamed "This is all your fault! If it weren't for you and your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"

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Answer is C- The truth is I always get Kaiser Wilhelm and Franz Jospeh confused as they both visited Israel in the 1800's. But then I remember that what they say is that the Kaiser had a pointed helmet and was too tall on his car that brought him to Jaffa Gate and they didn't want him to have to bend down. So they knocked down the centuries old gate so that he could enter. So I got it right!  So the score is 35 for Rabbi Schwartz and 9 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

Scar- Place- Parshat Shemot 2020 /5780

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

January 17^th 2020 -Volume 10 Issue 13 17^th Tevet 5780

Parshat Shemos

Scar-Place

Things were not going well for Yankel. He was already 24 and not married. Oy ah bruch! In the yeshivish world that he was part of this was getting closer and closer to being called an old bachelor. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't like he didn't go out a lot. He was actually quite the dater. He had a good reputation. He was a good learner, a nice family, great personality and had a heart of gold. The problem was that five minutes into every one of the blind dates he was set up with, the girls couldn't even look at him. They asked to be excused. Made up some type of excuse and left. He cursed the day that he got that ugly scar.

See, Yankel's problem was that right across the left side of his face there was a huge scar. This wasn't some cute Harry Potter 'z' that he could just brush his hair over it. It stuck out. It was really quite ugly despite his really cute face and eyes and his light beard. It wasn't really something he could hide. So what do young yeshiva students do when you need some extra divine help and direction to solve a problem? What Sefardim and chasidim always knew and did, of course. It has finally taken hold over the last few decades in the litvishe world as well, despite the fact that they had made fun of the others for years for doing this. But that's another discussion, that I just couldn't resist throwing in here. Yankel went to ask the great miracle Rabbi- his litvish equivalent of a chacham, a Baba, a Rebbe, who's every word is measured and holy; Reb Chaim Kanievsky, for advice.

Pouring out his heart and plight to Reb Chaim, he was pretty taken aback from Reb Chaim's response. He told him that he was dating wrong. He suggested that on the next date that he went on he should begin the date immediately- before anything, with the story of how he got his scar. Don't try to hide it or ignore it. Don't wait. As soon as she sits down begin your conversation with the "scar story". Hmmm… This was a little scary for Yankel. It doesn't seem like great opening light conversation line. But hey, it seems nothing else was really working. If that's what Reb Chaim tells him to do. You don't mess. Listen to the Rabbi, he has a track record.

So sure enough, a week later Yankel found himself in the Ramada Hotel lounge waiting for his next blind 'shidduch' date to show up and in she walks. Yankel greets her takes a big swallow and then jumps right in.

"Hi, my name is Yankel. I'm so glad you could come this evening. I want to just first begin to apologize about the big scar that is on my face. I'm sure you see it. See, about 5 years ago I was walking in the Old city of Jerusalem and I decided to walk through the Shaar Shechem /Damascus gate. I never really go that way. There's lots of Arabs over there, (It's almost as dangerous as Lakewood, Flatbush, Boro Park and Monsey-editor's commentary) but I don't know, I guess I was feeling a bit lazy and it's shorter that way. All of a sudden I see an Arab approaching a young Jewish girl and he had a bad look in his eyes. I saw him reaching into his robe. I knew there was trouble coming and so I started to scream and chase him. Now, I'm not a brave guy, but my feet carried themselves and I started to chase this guy away from her. She ran away, Baruch Hahem, but the Arab then turned on me. I started to run the other way and he yanked out his knife and swiped it at me and scraped my face. Thank God, some soldiers showed up and they neutralized him before he could do worse.

So that's the story of my scar. I know that it's not really pretty to look at and if it bothers you I totally understand if you don't want to continue to see me. I probably should never have walked that road that day. I really don't go to scary places (like America-ed).But it seems that Hashem wanted me to be there on that day.

As Yankel finished his story, he finally looked up. He was a bit bashful so as he was reciting the story he pretty much was looking down in his drink the whole time and twirling his ice around with that little plastic straw thing. He was shocked though to see the young girls face. It was white. She was crying. She turned to Yankel and finally composed herself and said two words "Mazel Tov!" Huhhh?

"That girl was me" she continued. "I never knew who my hero was that day. I didn't even tell the story to people because I was pretty embarrassed that I went to that dangerous Shaar Shechem gate. But I always wondered who that brave yeshiva bachur that saved me was. That scar on your face is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Whereas for other people that scar is deformity, for me it is a constant reminder of someone who was willing to give their life to protect mine. I'm yours. I don't want to date anyone else. Mazel Tov, I think we have finally found each other."

This week's parsha we begin the book of Shemos. It is the book of our exile to a pretty scary and dangerous place and it is the book of our redemption from there. Our sages tell us that Egypt is the "mother of all Exiles". All of the other exiles that we went through and endured until today have their roots in the first one we experienced as a nation there. Not only that, but in fact every personal challenge and struggle that we are faced with can be found at their core in Egypt. We were beaten, tortured, tempted, challenged in our faith…it was all there. And our redemption from Mitzrayim was our eternal redemption that gives us the strength to eternally overcome it all. To be redeemed. To go free.

What is the point of Galus/ Exile? Why do we have to go down? Why can't we just live in peace and worship Hashem like we want to. What are these dangerous places that Hashem seems to be putting us in? I saw an incredible insight this week from the Mei Marom, Rav Charlap Zt"l. He notes that those questions that I just asked you above are not questions that we as a nation are asking. It's not even questions that individuals are asking. You know who first asks those questions? It's our soul, our holy neshoma which Hashem takes from heaven and places in our physical bodies over here in this world. Why Hashem? It's so nice up here in heaven. It's so spiritual. It's so holy. It's so bad down there. Who needs the physical body? Let me stay up here in heaven. Why do I need to go into Exile from you? From your heavenly abode...

Our entire life is one big galus. We are sent down to this world to lift it up. It is a world that at first glance looks terrible. It looks scary. We get scars. We sin. We fall. But in fact it is the world that brings us redemption. It is the only place where we can experience redemption from. The word galus/ exile in Hebrew is the same root word as l'galot to reveal. The function of galus is to reveal the hand of Hashem, His holiness, our desire and connection to him in the darkest of places. In our scars. In our beautiful precious physical and spiritual battle scars that we suffered in the dangerous places he sent us to reveal Him from.

The light that shines at the end of those dark tunnels, the light of redemption is the most powerful in the world. It's the exodus-of-Egypt light. It's the return-to-Eretz-Yisrael-after-the- Holocaust light. It's the love of a groom who has waited for so long for his bride wedding type of light. It's the Kallah who has finally found her hero revelation. It's the light of Mashiach.

Each of us has our scars and our challenges. We all have our questions and the answer to all of them is that we are in galus. We have a revelation that we are meant to unveil. At first glance we may want to turn our heads away. To curse the day that we failed, that we got so scarred. But then we are missing the point of why Hashem sent us through those gates. They may seem like the gates of misfortune of misery and of pain, but in fact it is the pathway back to heaven. Back to Hashem, to our land and to our home. Mazel Tov. Let the wedding begin.

Have a restfully reviving Shabbos!,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Bei mir bist du sheyn."– To me you’re beautiful.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/OFoScpzgcI4   – Check out the Kinnerets disappearing island tahnks to the fantastic blessed rainy winter here in Israel

https://youtu.be/rR5uHapnOsU   – The Rambam's/ Maimonides Yartzeit today listen to his story

The

https://youtu.be/Pe1mrlHneeQ - Jewish Blugrass- by Kol Ish- Yigdal the 13 principles of Rambam… different…

https://youtu.be/reeVAdiU0xQ   - Yishai Ribo On TV singing Yigdal Elokim Chai

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

10)  The Jindas bridge crosses the following river:

A.    Ayalon

2. Alexander
3. Sorek
4. Lachish

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Rasha Lama Taka Rayecha– Striking your fellow man – The Parsha this week introduces us to Moshe Rabbeinu, our great leader who brought us down the Torah. Interestingly enough the first teaching that Moshe gives a fellow Jew is when he sees one Jew striking another Jew. Moshe intercedes and gives him Mussar- Rasha lama taka es rayecha- Wicked one why are you hitting your friend. The Talmud derives from this first teaching of Moshe that one who lifts up his hand to strike another Jew is called a rasha a wicked person. This is because Moshe tells the man even before he hit the other person "why are you hitting him" present tense-not "why did you hit him" past tense. This is not just a description of the person but rather it has practical ramifications as well. The RaMa in Shulchan Aruch (CH"M 34) rules that one who raises their hand to hit someone is in fact invalid to be a kosher witness in legal proceedings.

Now Moshe's Mussar schmooze reveals that hitting is a bad thing, but where in the Torah do we in fact have a prohibition for hitting. So the Talmud tells us that it can be found in a fascinating and unlikely place. There are court mandated and executed lashes that are given when someone violates a biblical prohibition, of course with fair warning and witnesses. The lashes are determined by how much the person can sustain with a maximum of 39 lashes. The Torah in telling us this law says

Devarim (23:5) Arbaim Yakenu lo Yosif- He may be given up to forty lashes, but not more, lest being flogged further, to excess, your brother be degraded before your eyes.

If the Torah is telling us that you can't give any extra lashes or strike a wicked person than certainly an innocent person one is prohibited to hit. The punishment for hitting someone interestingly enough depends on the damage. If one causes a bruise or wound that has a monetary value to it then one has to pay the victim. If there is no monetary loss in the damage-it's not physically significant than you get lashes from the court. This is because one only gets lashes if there is not payment made. If you pay, then you get no pain it seems.

Now what about play-hitting? Am I permitted to hit someone if he tells me to give him a punch? What about football or other contact sports? Now the Talmud does say that one can forgive any monetary damage to oneself and allow someone to hit him. At the same time though the Shulchan Aruch Harav and other poskim rule that one still violates the prohibition of hitting someone else. It would seem to make sense as well. The concept is that it is not my body to allow someone to damage. Our bodies are from Hashem. There are authorities though that say that one only violates the prohibition when they hit someone else against his will. So it's really not that clear if it would be permitted to play that slap-my-hand game hit-or-miss that some people like to play. As well this column is not large enough to explore the issue of why many of those contact sports might not fall into the category of raising your hand to hit someone. Would love to hear what your research might have to say.

Now there is an exception where it seems that it might even be a mitzva to hit and that is of course for educational purposes. Shlomo Hamelech says in Mishlei

 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

Nothing like a good potch! This is not only true for parents but even for teachers who have the responsibility to discipline children it would seem that this is something that is not only acceptable but even a mitzva. I certainly had quite a few teachers that felt that way. Now although this was probably the standard 30 or 40 years ago, the majority of Rabbis today pretty much point out that today's generation corporal punishment besides being illegal is in most cases counterproductive. We are a generation that requires the carrot rather than the stick. We've lost enough of our childen due to teachers or parents that might have used the belt too often or hit them out of personal anger and frustration which was never permitted in the first place. This is certainly an important mitzva that Rabbeinu Yonah says is one that is unfortunately very rampant amongst people and it is worthwhile to be careful. It is after all the first Mussar schmooze of our teacher Moshe.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Shimshon- the Lion, the Wife and the Wardrobe  – 959 BC- Now as we will see Shimshon is not your typical judge or prophet. He had an incredible ascetic, Nazirite upbringing. The reason for this is because his spiritual drive was so strong constantly ringing in heart in the words of the Navi and because he was going to be entering into the most dangerous spiritual realms. As far low as you can go. The power for greatness was countered with a drive for taking hold of the Philistines from within and destroying it. It's an important introduction to understanding this leader who the Torah tells us is a judge like Hashem. Not bound by your typical rules laws and drives.

That being said, our story starts with him telling his parents that he needs to marry a philistine woman he saw from Timna. Timna, the place where Yehuda met Tamar dressed up as a harlot, seems to have been a place to pick up women that can get you into trouble. His parents asked him why he couldn’t find a nice Jewish girl. But Shimshon seemed to tell his parent then "when you know- you know." This is the one.

His parents take him from the city he lived in called Tzora, which today is a yishuv near Beit Shemesh. He walks down from the city with his parents and the pass by vineyards, which is pretty cool because there are lots of vineyards there today. Shimshon not being able to walk through the vineyards being a Nazir- a really frum one it seems, who just happens to be going to marry a shiktza, goes around the vineyard. There he meets a pretty scary young lion. This was sign that he was going to be struggling with pretty dangerous things. No problem for Shimshon, though, he kills the lion with his bare hands and keeps heading on the way.

He arrives at Timna which is actually a site that you can visit today called Tel Batesh, south of Tel Shachar not far from Tzora where you can see the gates, houses and roads of the Philistine city that was there as well an olive press and some interesting things right above Nachal Sorek. It's not a super packed site or well-kept so I don't get there too often. There he makes marriage arrangements they agree to wait the traditional year and he's set to go. A year later when he goes back there he takes the same old lion route in order of course to make the blessing of the miracle that Hashem provided for him there and he checks out the lion which it now seemed some bees made a hive in and it was full of honey. Cool! Not being one to pass up sweets Shimshon sngs some honey and heads down to Timna to pick up his Philistine shiktza 'honey'.

The Philistine chevra decide to throw him a nice party and to shake them up a bit he gives them a riddle and bets them that if they solve it he will provide them with 30 sheets and sets of clothing. If they don't get it than they have to pay up to him. The riddle is about his lion and he asks them to explain the words "from the Eater comes out food and from the strong comes out sweet." This is a pretty cheap riddle because obviously know one would know what he's talking about. But the Philistines were cheaters and they pressured his fiancé to pressure him and he made the mistake of trusting her. As we'll see women had this power of Shimshon that he just couldn't resist, particularly the plishti ones. They tell him the answer is obviously the lion and the honey story and he knows he's been betrayed. But a deal is a deal. At the same time, he's not paying these cheaters out of his own pocket. So what does he do?

No problem. He heads down to Ashkelon, the next philistine city kills 30 philistines and takes their clothes and gives them to cheaters. Don’t mess with Shimshon is the message he was pretty much telling them. They didn't get the message though it seems. His father-in-law gave his daughter to someone else, rather than to this crazy radical Jew and then the fun really starts. Stay tuned next week. 

PS Like to share this story as well at Biblical zoo or Ramat Gan Safari when we see lions, or in the Slifkin museum of natural history not far from this story in Beit Shemesh where I explain the different names for ages of lions; gur, kefir, lavi, aryeh and layish. Yeah lions, are important animals to us so we have lots of names for them. As well it's fun story to tell when I go visit some of the bee farms in Israel in Kfar Tavor in the Galil, Yad Mordechai in the South and Kfar Sirkin and Kfar Bilu along coastline in the merkaz. There's lots of honey places in Israel as well, after all it's the land of milk and honey (yes, I know that is date honey in the Torah, but honey is honey).

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE LION JOKES  OF THE WEEK

What's a lion running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!

Q: What's the difference between Simba and O.J.? A: One's an African lion the other a lyin African!

Q. Why did the lion loose at poker? A. Because he was playing with a cheetah

Q: What do you call a lion with chicken pox? A: A dotted lion.

Q: What do you call a lion who chases camels across the desert? A: a chameleon.

Q: What do you call a lion wearing a stylish flower hat? A: A dandy lion

Q: Why are lions religious? A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!

Q: Where does a lion sleep? A: Anywhere he wants to!

Q: What does a lion do on a canoe? A: Use his Roar

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field ? A: 'Pleased to eat you.' !

Q: On which day do lions eat people ? A: Chewsday !

Q: What's a lion's favorite soccer player? A: Lion-el Messi

 Q: Why did the lion spit out the clown? A: Because he tasted funny.

Q. How does a lion stop a video? He presses paws (pause).

Q: You’re riding a horse at full speed. You’re being chased by a lion and there’s a giraffe in the way in front of you. How will you escape this highly dangerous situation?
A: Get off the carousel

Dov is an Jewish actor, so down and out he's ready to settle for any acting gig that he can find. Finally he gets a lead, a classified ad that says: "Actor needed to play ape."
"I could do that, " says Dov.
To his surprise, the employer turns out to be the local zoo. Owing to mismanagement, the zoo has spent so much money renovating the grounds and improving the habitat, that they can no longer afford to import the ape they needed to replace their recently deceased one. So until they can, they'll put an actor in an ape suit. Out of desperation, Dov accepts the offer.
At first, his conscience keeps nagging him, that he is being dishonest by fooling the zoo-goers. And Dov feels undignified in the ape-suit, stared at by crowds who watch his every move. But after a few days on the job, he begins to be amused by all the attention, and starts to put on a show for the zoo- goers: hanging upside-down from the branches by his legs, swinging about on the vines, climbing up the cage walls, and roaring with all his might whilst beating his chest. Soon, he's drawing a sizable crowd. 

One day, when Dov is swinging on the vines to show off to a group of school kids, his hand slips, and he goes flying over the fence into the neighboring cage, the lion's den. Terrified, Dov backs up as far from the approaching lion as he can, covers his eyes with his paws, and prays at the top of his lungs, "Shma Yisrael Ado-nai Elokeinu Ad-nai echad!" (Hear O Israel, the Lord is our G‑d, the Lord is one!)
The lion opens its powerful jaws and roars, "Baruch shem k'vod malchuto l'olam va'ed!" "Shut up, you idiots," a panda bear mutters from a third cage. "You'll get us all fired

"

A group of interfaith religious leaders were getting a tour around the Jerusalem Zoo by its administrator, Shmuel Shapira. Shmuel showed them one cage where a lion was lying together with a young lamb.

The head of the delegation was amazed. "For 2000 years, we've prayed for signs of the messianic era and the prophesy that the lion will lie down next to the lamb. How did you do it?"

“It was quite easy,” Shmuel replied, "All it needs is a new lamb a day!"

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Answer is A–  As opposed to last week where I thought it was a no-brainer this one I had absolutely no clue. I don't remember any bridge called jindas and had no clue what nachal it went over. I figured it had something to do with the Mamaluk Baybers bridge with a leopard on it, which was this 13^th century Arab ruler of Israel, and I was right about that. Where it was I had no clue. I guessed Sorek as I thought that might be close to Lod and Ramla the Mamaluk headquarters, but the correct answer was Ayalon also on road to Lod and Ramla and it was the Baybars bridge. Thankfully I don't have tourists that have any interest in Mamluks and so I pretty much deleted most of my information on them and certainly of their bridges. So I got this one wrong although it is probably one I would've skipped as I really had no clue. So the score is Schwartz 6 and 4 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.