Karmiel

Karmiel
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Showing posts with label young israel karmiel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label young israel karmiel. Show all posts

Friday, March 20, 2026

It's Happening- Parshat Vayikra- 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

March 20th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 22 2nd of Nissan 5786

 

Parshat Vayikra

 It's Happening

 

I don't have days. I don't have nights. It's insane what's going on here. Sirens in the middle of the night. People running back and forth to shelters with sleeping children on their shoulders. Pulling off on the side of the highway to get out of your car while missiles are flying over your head. Up again down again. It's relentless. And yet there are miracles happening daily. It's literally a surreal experience. It's like Mitzrayim before we left. But instead of Pharaoh in pajamas in the middle of the night, it's us. It's like there's this drumroll with the tempo building and building for the "introducing for the very first time to the wedding hall…" Mashiach is here. That's what it feels like being in the Holy Land in this final era. Mashiach's tzeitin

 

 And that is truly the energy that one feels here. Mashiach is on everyone's lips. From Bibi to the left to the right. Even Jews in America who are fleeing to get back there and missing the show realize that their going to be missing out on big things this holiday. They're leaving, but they know that they're leaving the movie before the grand finale ending. I'm not judging them. I understand them even. It's not fun to be here now. I've had a few tourists that were supposed to come who called me and asked me if they should even bother. I told them, that there won't be any touring this holiday. The only thing they might be able to see is the Bais Hamikdash rebuilt, but it will probably be too packed if that's the case to tour. And I'm happy to bring the Korban Pesach for them. For a small fee of course. But that's only for the ones that bought my Pesach book- for sale down below.

 

So there's no tourists now. I'm home. I don't think I remember sleeping in my own bed so many nights in a row, since Corona. Or maybe the beginning of this war before I started going down to Gaza every day. Yet, unlike when this war first started and I pretty quickly got involved in running around volunteering and bringing Pizza, BBQ's and Shabbos food and supplies to soldiers. Now there's pretty much nothing to do or volunteer. And to be honest I really don't feel comfortable or safe driving around too far away from my shelter. This is isn't those little play katyusha rockets. These are huge million-ton Iranian ballistic missiles. Those are scary suckers. So I'm at home all day. I'm working on my next book. All my good stuff from the war, already creatively called "War Torah". Hopefully I'll get it out before Bereishis. It will be for sale in the entrance of the Bais Hamikdash. But I'm happy to give you a good pre-sale printing price. As we say in here in Israel. You can buy it "on paper". Contact me, if interested. I could use the money.

 

So what do I do all day? I sit, I learn, I scroll on my phone, I post statuses. Like a million of them. I speak on the phone. I learn another few minutes. And I eat. Sometimes grab some sleep. As I said there's no day. No night. It's just crazy cycles of passing time waiting for Mashiach. Oh yeah… I think about Pesach cleaning, but not really. I'm too busy. Or not.

 

One of the cool things I did and saw was this Google photos memories thing. I got one yesterday. It led to a Torah. To an incredible insight. To a different Hallel and even this parsha E-Mail. Get ready here it comes. I think it's amazing. The google photos was from six years ago. Where was I? Where were you? Where was the world? It seems like so long ago. But it was only six years ago. It's when crazy first started.

 

Six years ago at this time I saw this cute picture of me on my couch where I am right not as well, but then I was wearing a mask. The world was shut down. Corona had just begun. The world was shut down. People were dying. You couldn't leave your house. You couldn't go to shul. Even in Boro Park the first few weeks the oilam was still listening to the rules. Like now, ba'yamim ha'heim ba'zman ha'zeh I was also stuck at home. Nowhere to go. Sending out memes. Scrolling on my phone and learning a bit and eating a bit. Actually back then, I was eating a lot as it was before my surgery. Now it's a lot more memes and a lot less food.

 

Watching that Google Photo Memory clip, of that surreal experience awakened in me an incredible question. If someone had come to me 7 years ago and told me that the entire world would be shut down and we would all be wearing masks, vaccinating, locked down, I would've told them that they were crazy. They were watching too much science fiction movies. It's not possible. It can't happen. But it did.

 

Let me ask you another question. If someone would've told me four years ago, that Chamas would barge into Israel tear down our walls. Kidnapped hundreds of people. Burn down Kibbutzim, police stations, that hundreds would die in a day. That there would be massacres. That the great Israeli army would be helpless and our intelligence would be clueless. Once again you would tell me I'm crazy. It's not real. Turn off the TV and stop watching thriller films. But it happened.

 

If someone would tell me 2 months after the war started, that most of the world would take the side of Chamas. That Anti- Semitism would be at record highs. That Shuls would be attacked, Rallies would be all over the world against us. That we would be condemned all over the world for what was so blatantly the most justified war in the history of mankind. That they could possibly hate us so much. That It's unsafe for Jew to live in Europe. That the most popular boy's name in England last year, was not Muhammed, as it was for the last few years but rather Yihye- after Sinwar, which is pretty much the equivalent of Hitler. And this just less then a century after the Holocaust. Once again, I don't think any of us could really believe how much we could be hated. Yet, it's still going on.

 

How about this one. If someone would've told you that the majority of the army is wearing tzitzis. That there's not kochi v'otzem yadi- no arrogant secular Zionistic pride there anymore. That the most popular songs sung by soldiers are about Hashem. About Mashiach. About Redemption. That there are full units of Bnai Torah with tzitzis hanging out, learning three sedarim and then fighting in the evenings. That these same units don't even have an Israeli flag flying in them and women aren't allowed in and they're getting Bedatz food. That every other speech Bibi makes as well as many in the Knesset all talk about Siyata Di'Shmaya, about Hashem saving us. About open miracles. That there are really no Zionists left in this country. Not on the right or the left. There's only Hashem's people watching His hand and clouds of glory saving us. Once again, I'm pretty sure all of you would say, that this is really cool AI. But that can't be happening. It's just not real. Yet that's what's going on boys and girls. It's all over the place.

How about this one? If I would tell you three weeks ago, that Israel and the United States would be going in and blowing the dreck out of literal cities in Iran. That leader after leader is getting knocked off and hundreds of their cronies. That we'd be living in a world where submarines and huge ships are getting sunk in the Sea. That thousands of ballistic missiles are falling on us numerous times a day and almost no one is getting hurt. Unless you count insomnia as a casualty event. Which I do by the way. That last Friday like 20 Arabs were killed in a village when one landed and Iran would be shooting at Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Quatar, Dubai. Dubai!! Blowing up their cities. Their hotels. Their resorts. If I told you this three weeks ago. You would've told me I'm nuts. I'm dreaming. It can't happen. And yet here we are.

 

So now let me throw something else at you. What would you say, if I told you that the Bais Ha'Mikdash would be built in two weeks? Better, than that. What would you say, if I told you that in two weeks all of klal Yisrael would be doing teshuva? That the Attorney General of Israel would be covering her hair with a tichel and lighting Shabbos candles. That Yair Lapid and Avigdor Lieberman just made a chavrusa shaft to do Daf Yomi with Reb Eli at MDY. That the Neturei Karta would be bringing Barbeques to soldiers doing Hashem's work and still wiping out the remains of Amalek. That every Reform and Conservative Jew, and any assimilated Jew in America, yeah.. even the ones with pink hair and the ones that until now have kaffiyehs on their head are all putting on tefillin. Are all saying Shema Yisrael. Are wearing black hats. Are putting on beketches.

 

Ok, here's the craziest thing of all and perhaps the most incomprehensible miracle and imaginary scenario. What would you say, if I told you that everyone in Lakewood, in Tom's River in Jackson and the Five Towns would in two weeks be contacting Nefesh B'nefesh. Selling their homes. Packing their bags. Shutting down their shuls, their schools, their meat board factories and their pizza shops and would be booking Aliya flights on El Al to Israel. Crazy right? It can't happen. It's not going to happen until Mashiach is here. This could never be. I'm reading too much fiction. I'm learning too much Chazal. It's not reality. But yet, my friends. I want you to pause a second and think about why that's any different than everything else you've been telling me the last few years and even weeks of what could and won't happen. But yet it all has.

 

Now because we're getting close to Pesach, it's time to start getting into the mode. Let's ask a question. THE question. Why would this last miracle be different than all of the other miracles that happened before hand? Why can't I believe that this will happen, even after I saw all of the other miracles happen. You know, I imagine myself back in Egypt, as we're meant to by the Pesach Seder, and I think about the Jews back then if they were the same way, when they saw the Hand of Hashem so openly. They saw blood and said wow, that's cool". But frogs could never happen. Ok maybe Frogs could happen too, but lice? No way! That can't be. OK maybe frogs, maybe lice, maybe even wild animals and hail and darkness, but First borns. But actually leaving Egypt. Pharaoh actually getting up and telling us that we can go. That for sure can't happen. But it did.

 

Yet even then… We still weren't sure or have faith that we could leave. That Hashem really really was going to take us out. That we could actually get up and slaughter their gods. Their values. That every Jew could do that. That seas could split. That they'll all die chasing us. I have no doubt that almost all of us despite seeing all of the miracles and the unreal, surreal, mind-blowing stuff going on still couldn't fathom the next step and the next step and the next step. Why not? What's wrong with us?

Why can't I or you believe that every one can do teshuva tomorrow? Everyone. Why do I have more faith in Hamas attacking us? In Corona. In Trump. In us blowing up Iran. In missiles not falling on our head. Thousands of huge ones. In even Bibi giving lip service. But I can't wrap my head around the even small possibility or chance that in two weeks we can all do teshuva. That American Jews can all decide on their own to come home. That the non-frum will leave their goyish wives, their secular assimilated idolatrous godless if not God-abhorrent lifestyles and just connect. Return. Come home.

 

The real scary answer to that question is because we really don't believe or understand or appreciate the incredible light of Hashem inside of every yid. Inside of each of our neshomas. We don't realize how close even the farthest Jew is to Hashem. We don't chap how karov eilecha ha'davar me'od-how so very close that is to us. How easy and how little needs to occur for it to happen. How little we even need to do for that small spark to ignite into a soaring flame. How ready that Bais Ha'Mikdash is to come down. How the day of our redemption is really here.

 

We don't realize. Or we can't fathom it, because that means we as well can do teshuva that quick. We can throw all of our garbage away. We can be redeemed of all of our vices. Our yetzer hara's. Of all of the things that have been holding us down and back. We've convinced ourselves that it's too hard for us to do it. So for sure it's going to be impossible for those guys to do it. It's impossible for all of klal Yisrael to do it. It's impossible for all of us to finally come home.

 

But the truth is. If Hamas could attack us. If we could blow up Iran. If the world could shut down from Iran. If missiles could fall and no one gets hurt. If blood, frogs, lice and wild animals could plague Egypt. If after 2000 years we would still be around. If we could return to our Land. If most of Klal Yisrael is finally living here. If the land is giving its fruits like never before. If construction even in a war year is through the roof- excuse the pun. If Torah is being learned like never before and Jews everywhere are more in touch with their identity of what it means to be a yid, then ever before. Then teshuva is really a very small thing in comparison. Teshuva doesn't mean changing. It doesn't even mean becoming a different person. It doesn't even mean leading a different lifestyle. It means just revealing and returning and perhaps even for the first time returning to what our true essence is. Of who we really are. Yidden, connected and longing for a closeness to our Father. That want nothing more but to sit and bask in His glory. To be one with Home. To finally be at peace.

 

Last week we concluded, the book of Redemption. Shemos. It ended with the Mishkan/ with the Bais Hamikdash all ready and built. Yet Moshe couldn't come in. We couldn't come in. Sacrifices were on hold. The next book and step begins with this week's new book right before Pesach the holiday of our Redemption. The book is called Vayikra. And He called. It's Hashem calling to us. It's a strange name for a Book about sacrifices. It doesn't really seem to capture the essence of a Book that is all about bringing various sacrifices and all the work in the Temple. The truth is there's another funny thing about the book and title as well. The word Vayikra has a small aleph at the end. It's almost as if one would read it Chazal point out as Vayiker. And He appeared. It happened. In Moshe's humility he made it small. So, it wouldn't seem like Hashem is personally paging him. But perhaps it can be understood on an even deeper level.

 

The way that we get from the book of Redemption to actually bringing sacrifices is by seeing what's going on as a "calling". It's Hashem calling to us personally, just like He called to Moshe. We have to stop writing off all of the miracles we are experiencing and all that is occurring as happenstance. As the way of the world. As the news cycle. As Trump. As Iran. As Bibi. We have to stop seeing at just cool amazing things happening in "the world" and rather see it as a call to us to come in. To come Home. To return. We have to stop with the humility and stop making that aleph little. We have to stop minimizing the great glory and spark inside of our hearts that is burning in our souls. We have to return to it. We have to realize that it's a call. Hashem is paging us. Not us. Not him. Not Bibi. Not Trump. Not even the secular non-shomer Shabbos Jews, not the one's living in chutz la'aretz and not coming home and waiting on the fence. He's calling me. ME. It's personal. It's a return that I have to do. That I can do. That's right in front of me. That can change the world in two weeks. That is only impossible in my own little mind that is still sleeping and hasn't woken up to the magic and miracles taking place all over. That's how we get there. That's the title of the book that we need to start reading this week.

 

Yesterday, I recited Hallel and had an incredible insight. We read in the second paragraph, or sing as we do in my shul about the difference between leaving Egypt and the splitting of the Sea versus the Crossing of the Yarden forty years later when we came into Israel.

 

Ha'yam ra'ah va'yanos- the sea saw and it ran away

Ha'Yarden yisov li'achor- the Jordan river turned backwards.

 

What's the difference between the two? Why is it that the Red Sea split in two and we walked right through, whereas when we got to the Jordan it didn't split? Rather part of it rose up and like it hit a glass wall and formed a huge wall on one side of us, while the rest flowed downstream to the Dead Sea? As well there's another difference between the two stories. When the sea split, we walked right through, without any stops on the way. Yet, by the Jordan river the Talmud in Sota tells us Yehoshua made a pit stop in the middle. Standing right there with this miles long column hanging over our head, he gave the first Shabbos Ha'Gadol drasha ever. There the Talmud tells us he said to us that if we are ready to go into the land and inherit it all and take the entire thing- meaning killing all our enemies there and destroying all of their idolatrous places, then we can continue. If not we're all going to die there in the Yarden. That's a pretty inspiring drasha, don't you say?

 

The question is why does he have to do it then? Why couldn't he give it before? Why not when we get to the other side. Why smack in the middle of the river? Why didn't Moshe do the same thing? What changed?

 

The answer though is mamash what I've been saying until now. Because as opposed to Egypt when Hashem was doing all the work and all the miracle. He was now handing the baton over to us. It was our turn to reveal the spark of Him inside of us. To realize that we have the power to do it all. That He's standing behind us holding up the wall of water from crashing down up us. He's stopping all the missiles from falling. He's making miracles happen. But we have to see that He's doing it for us. So that we can do it for Him.

 

 Had Yehoshua done it before or after the river crossing, we would've just written it off as cool stuff that we didn't think could happen but it did. But we certainly would never of felt strong enough, holy enough, close enough to ever be able to do that ourselves. So he had to stop in the middle. He had to press pause on the screen as that ballistic missile was heading to our house. He had to hold the mountain or river over our head and say look at that miracle happening right now. Look how the incredible, remarkable, unbelievable thing that is happening. Appreciate it. Look up. And now answer me. Do you think you can take the country or not? Do you think that teshuva is so impossible as well?  Do you realize that this entire land can be yours? That you can build the Mikdash. That you can bring sacrifices. Take a look at that miracle above you while you're in the river coming in and understand. That you can do it as well. That I trust you do it. That I chose you because you can. And that I'm waiting for you to make it happen.

 

There is a new Google Photo Album that is waiting for us to create. It's one that we will show our grandchildren when they sit down at our Pesach Seder with the Korban Pesach. It will be one of us getting on planes and moving. It will be all of us dancing and singing. It will be of us slaughtering all of the Amalekites and our enemies unencumbered. It will be of us blowing up Mosques and eradicating churches. It will be of the Bais Hamikdash coming down in fire and connecting with the one we have started building down here on Har Ha'Bayis. Don't think it could happen? Take a look at the memories from the last six years and ask yourself the question again. It's already here.

 

Have a miraculous and hopefully restful Shabbos,

 

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" Hof oif nissim un farloz zikh nit oif a nes." – Hope for miracles but don't rely on a miracle happening.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvOVXLoWcSA   – The latest Bardak for yeshivas Bein Ha'Zmanim…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyMYaCh4BA4  - The latest TYH Hashem's Army.. The Tzivos Hashem became mainstream…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmD9_l8uoRw&list=RDQmD9_l8uoRw&start_radio=1   - Im really loving this son Abie Rotenberg. This song particularly is magnificent. Efshar…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKS4XWBHbN8    – Just enjoying this new singer and song… "Abba Tov" by Shmulik Suukot…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8G8xH3wQg8&list=RDC8G8xH3wQg8&start_radio=1   – Kind of liking this Vehi She'amda… It’s a new tune by Hershey Eisenbach and Shimmy Sklar


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

25. The communities of Kfar Darom and Netzarim were evacuated as part of a plan called

____________


Which of the following was an area known as the "Security Zone"?

A. An area in southern Lebanon controlled by Israel and the SLA until 2000 for

military purposes

B. The area separating Israel from the West Bank before the construction of the

West Bank barrier

C. The area of separation of forces between Israeli forces and Syrian army forces

in the Golan Heights

D. A strip along the Israeli-Egyptian border, adjacent to the fence, which includes

an intrusion tracking dirt road


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


Achashveirosh- 367 BC- Smart King? Stupid King? Royal lineage? Slave? Hero, villain? The King who followed Cyrus and became the ` is a mystery. It's no wonder than perhaps that our masters see in his name in Megillat Esther as mystically being a reference to Hashem. For Hashem as well is a mystery. We can only identify with and understand Hashem as much as our limited mortal intellect can relate to Him. Those with smaller intellects, with less spiritual perception can see and experience Hashem on deep levels. Other's not so much. But ultimately besides for the truth of His Existence everything else we know about Hashem can only go as far as we can understand anything that is beyond our grasp. And thus Achashveirosh who becomes the human embodiment of the Will of Hashem is as well mysterious and unclear.

 

So where does Achashverosh come from. One opinion in the Talmud is that he was a peasant or stable boy that made his way to malchus because no one else had what it took, namely the check. He Donald Trumped his way to the Persian White House. On the other hand the Seder Olam seems to suggest that he was in fact the son of Cyrus and the grandson of Darius being that Darius married his daughter off to Cyrus. Others say that he was just influential. Maybe he Obama'd his way there by being an activist. As I said a mystery.

 

His wife Vashti fascinatingly enough was the daughter of Belshatzar. She according to all was an Iranian princess. The problem was she was raised by Koresh/Cyrus that killed her father together with Darius and then brought her to his palace and raised her there. If that version is true then according to the view that Achashveirosh was Cyrus's son then they were pretty much raised together in the palace. That's pretty wild and adds a whole new dimension to their marriage. And perhaps even sheds some light on her disdain for her husband whose father killed her father. Interesting stuff when we put all of the pieces together like that.

 

But, mazel tov they get married. Very exciting. They begin their reign over 127 countries all over the world from Ethiopia to India. And in the third  year of his reign he makes the party. It seems he wasn't a very original guy. His dead father-in law Belshatzar did the same in his third year of reign as well. Each celebrating the end of the unfulfilled prophecy of the Jewish return to Israel and the building of the Temple. But that's a longer clip. Let's take it up next week.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE IRAN WAR JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

If the was keeps taking out murderous Iranian political and security leadership I am concerned that there will be no one left as a suitable candidate to lead the United Nations Human Rights Council

 

It's enough already. This morning I blessed she'kocho bi'gvuroso malei olam.

 

I can't stop crying. They took out Ali Khammeini and then Ali Larigani, I'm terrified who's next Ali Express…?

 

In High school in Israel they give you choice of a third language to learn. Most of my class chose French because they wanted to travel to Paris. I'm the only one that chose Arabic. And not what's funny is that I'm the only one that can get around there today…

 

Rosh Chodesh reminder from my grandson's gan- tomorrow please remember that it is Rosh Chodesh and all the children should come to the shelter in white pajamas.

 

My friend switched his phone back to a second generation phone in order not to get any more annoying warnings. Instead he received a text that he is in proximity of a validated sick person and needs to go into isolation.

 

For anyone with a Kosher phone that could not experience the Iranian hack on Yeshiva World News they have set up a special call in line on Kol Ha'Lashon for you.

 

Iranian man sends message to the Mossad- Just so you know my mother-in-law is a nuclear scientist.

 

It's interesting how many times a night I tell my neighbors have a good night…

 

Tips for Israelis- How to tell if the noise you're hearing is not a missile being shot down but rather thunder. If the sound you heard on your phone a minute ago didn't give you a heart attack with it's endless screeching. It's thunder.

 

Israel just hit Iran's Oil stockpile. Great now we're going to have another holiday revolving around oil…

 

If we're anyways losing sleep at night already. Let's just switch the clocks to Daylight savings and be done with it…


Hilchos Miklat:


One who hears a siren shall go to a miklat. In a house that has a mamad, one may go to the mamad. Some say: a miklat is preferred. Others say: the difference is negligible.


When should one go to a miklat? When the siren goes off. Rabbi Yehuda says, when you hear the pre-alert. Rabbi Eliezer says, if the miklat is near, one may wait until the siren is audible from an open window. The Chachamim say, even a closed window.


One who enters a miklat and hears a boom is yotzei. One who hears a boom before [one is in the miklat] is not yotzei. The chachamim say: one who hears a boom before and after [entering the miklat] is yotzei. 


One who hears a boom [while in the miklat] and leaves and hears a boom [outside the miklat] is not yotzei, because the second boom was a sakana.


The talmidim of Rava would leave the miklat only after the [notification saying the] event ended. They asked them: Isn’t waiting ten minutes enough? They responded: we follow Rabbi Yehuda [that interpreted “and you shall live by them” - and not die by them].


Rambam: It is permitted to leave the miklat 6 minutes after hearing the latest boom, and one who leaves earlier is a Shoteh.


Shulchan Aruch paskens like the rambam but the Rama writes that we wait 10 minutes.


Mishnah berura says that of course if an “event ended” notification is received one is permitted to leave, even if booms are still audible, since you can hear them from far away. And even if the notification is received by only one of many miklat dwellers, one can still leave, since cell phone service is often spotty in miklat and therefore we can rely on even the minority.


*******************************

The answer to this week's question is A– Keeping on the game here. Kfar Darom and Netzarim were the names of two yishuvim that were part of the Gush Katif Gaza disengagement plan. That's what started this whole mishigas. I know that because I've spent a lot of time visiting the Gush Katif museums and remember all of the places and I pass some of the locations where they were relocated to. Not that I remember. As far as the security line/zone that's Lebanon. That's where we're fighting now. That's the line from the Litani down that we need to reconquer. So both right and the new score  of Rabbi Schwartz having a 18 points and the MOT having 7 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

Friday, September 12, 2025

Fly United- Parshat Ki Tavo 5785 2025

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 12th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 45 20th of Elul 5785

 Parshat Ki Tavo

 Fly United

 

It was a short trip last weekend to the States. As the title of last week's amazing E-Mail noted it was "In and Out". I think I spent more time in airports then I did on the actual ground with about 10 different flight delays and two flight cancelations as well as a few hours sitting on various tarmacs waiting to come home. It kind of felt like the geula/ redemption process that our nation is going through now. We're all packed and ready to go. We're ready for that heavenly flight to take-off and bring us home, yet we're stalled on the tarmac. The flight keeps getting delayed.

 

Our luggage, as they announced for one of the flights, was imbalanced and had to be reorganized. Really?!!! Is that really a thing? I'm flying over the ocean in a 300,000-pound (I chatgpt'ed it) metal box with wings and my 50-pound suitcase (ok 51.5 lb I snuck in a few extra stuff that Shani ordered) is it really gonna make a difference here on which side of the plane it's leaning on? Yet that's kind of what it feels like, at least for me, as I and most Jews have been waiting for Mashiach and that real shofar blast. When are we taking off already? When are these flights going to stop getting canceled? Can you just stop these delays and take-off already? I'm ready to come home.

 

Now to be honest and in reflection, it wasn't only my trips home that seemed to be delayed. My Wednesday evening flight to America was also delayed for a few hours sitting in the Ben Gurion airport waiting to leave and was eventually canceled as well. I ended up having to go back and sleep in Yerushalayim and fly out on Thursday night instead. It's as if Hashem was as well trying to delay my exile from Eretz Yisrael as He did to our nation before the destruction of the Temple. He shlepped out our stay there. He didn't want to let us go, despite how nuts and sinful we were.

 

Even after the destruction of the Temple, readers of the "Era's and Places" column below know, Hashem wanted to still keep us and our community there. He even arranged that we should have Gedalya be Achikam appointed as our Prime Minister and to still have us around. We were the ones that messed that up. We were the ones that ultimately picked up and left on our own. If Hashem wasn't providing flights, we found an exit route to Egypt, maybe even paid a Jordanian taxi driver a lot of money to "escape" us. The last remnant of the Jewish nation left to Egypt on our own self-inflicted exile. Hashem, on the other hand was trying to keep us on the tarmac as long as possible.

 

To be honest as I left the airport after my flight was canceled it felt like that tear-filled hug I always get from my mother before I went to camp as a kid, and bizarrely yet heartwarmingly even today as a 50 something year old man. It feels like she doesn't want to let go. That has within it some fear that perhaps she won't see me again. That maybe didn't trust me in camp, or even today as well, to manage and survive on my own and come back to her. That was the last experience at the end of the second Temple. It's what it felt like when I was trying to leave to Israel just to go to my nephew's Bar Mitzva last weekend. That delayed and canceled flight was Hashem's hug not wanting me to get on that flight.

 

Now, on the other hand my delays and cancelations for the return trip felt of a different nature. Almost the opposite one. It was like, hey, I'm ready, camp is over, I want to come home. But the flight was just not taking off. Nobody was coming to pick me up. Admittedly, I woke up late that morning of my return flight. I ran out of the house and jumped into my brother Gedalia's car in about 5 minutes flat and raced to the airport to make it on time for the flight that never left. It felt like when the Jews left Mitzrayim and I didn't even have time to shower and pack my sandwiches for the road, that I had planned to do the night before hand. We made it to the gate at 5:23 AM, 2 minutes before check in. It was miraculous. I had only woken up at 4:49 and made it to the airport and gate in ummmm… I dunno you do the math. I'm still suffering from jet-lag. Yet, upon arriving in Newark for the connecting flight back I hit the delays. I was stuck at that last stop before I could finally come home. I prayed it wouldn't be for 2000 more years in Exile this time. My wife and kids were waiting for me.

 

Yet Hashem in His ultimate kindness, even when He delays me in Exile looks out for me. He wanted to make it comfortable. He had sent me an E-Mail that I noticed that I have a free lounge pass that I could use. I didn't have to sit in the gate and scramble to find an outlet for my computer or charger for my phone. I didn't have to pay a million dollars for a coffee, a drink, or some nosh. It's all free in the lounge. They even had a shower there, for the one that I didn't get to take in my rushed exodus from Virginia at 5:00 AM. There are couches there I could lie down on and even Kosher food as well. Although it wasn't as good as all that trayf stuff they were dishing out. It was a nice lounge. I got very comfortable there. I almost forgot about my flight and return to Israel.

 

So I sat there on the couch and learned my Daf. I learned my Oraysa. I studied Torah, I listened to a shiur. I was comfortable in Galus. I forgot I was in an airport. I forgot about my wife and kids. My flight. The Bais Hamikdash. Maybe if I stayed here in the lounge a bit longer, they would even bring me out a kosher meat board. They were friendly to me there… the goyim. But then the news on the big screen came on about anti-Israel protests, Hamas mayors of the city. My flight got announced and I remembered where I was and what I had to do. And so I tucked in my tzitizis, made sure my baseball hat covered my yarmulka grabbed my very heavy hand luggage (all of Shani's stuff that she ordered on Amazon that didn't fit into my already overweight suitcase) and made my way to the gate.

 

Getting into my seat on the plane, I joined the murmurs and conversations of my fellow passengers. "Stinkin' United!" "This always happens with them". "They cancel flights, they make excuses, they're unreliable" I knew I should've flown El Al. Sure they charge a million dollars for a ticket. Yes there's no one ever to talk to over there. So, their flight attendants aren't the friendliest, to say the least. They all still feel like Army officers that bark orders to you and expect you to forget about how much you paid for a ticket, because they want you to know that they are doing you a favor by flying you. I always thought that at the end of the flight the pilot would get on the mike and announce. "Thank US for flying you on El Al, We hope you understand that we had plenty of other options of passengers to take on this flight instead of you. You should thus feel lucky and grateful and hope that we take you again next time in the future" But y'know what? At the end of the day, they fly. They take off. They bring you home. Even your luggage usually makes it as well, most times. But United… Forget about it. They're just horrible. They do this all the time. I'm done with them… I'll pay the money.

 

And it was with these thoughts and voices that I opened up my Chumash and began to read the parsha of Ki Tavo el Ha'Aretz, of Hashem's description of how we are meant to return to the land. The mitzvos we need to do. The messages that will bring us home. The lessons and essential-although bizarre, rituals that we need to do as we come into the land. And you know what He tells us? He wants us to fly "United". In fact that's the only airlines that will actually bring us home.

 

But before we get to our parsha, I would like to take you on a flight back in time for a little layover to our first exile from the land of Israel. We're going to make a short stop in Beit El. As we fly over, we can look out of our window and we can see Yaakov Avinu. He's tired. He's on the road. His red-headed psychopath brother is out to murder him. He's violating those UN agreed upon accords on that deal we made and signed with him about the birthright. He wants to be the leader of the free world. He wants to make Esau great again. He wants Yaakov to follow his directives. He wants the holy land to be open for all religions, all faiths, all deviant behavior, while Yaakov and his descendants' step in line and do what he orders them to.

 

It's been rough for Yaakov running away. Along the way, he loses everything. Elifaz hijacks him and takes it all. Penniless, tired and chased out of his home, like most of his descendants will be, he just wants to take a nap and sleep it all away. And there he takes 12 stones and uses them as a pillow. Rashi tells us that the stones started fighting amongst one another, which is always annoying when your pillow does that while you're trying to fall asleep. Each one yelled "The tzadik should rest on my head." I'm the most righteous of stones. I'm the only one worthy of being the pillow where that ladder from heaven will ascend. Those other rocks over there, aren't as frum as I am. They don't even wear black hats. They serve in the army. They eat chalav stam. They have smart phones. Hashem doesn't love them. He hates them. He doesn't need them. They're not my brothers. I'm the only rock that deserves the Shechina to reside on me. And that's how galus begins.

 

When Yaakov awakes. When that shofar ringtone rang on his cellphone, he is amazed. The rocks all became one. "This is Beit El" he exclaims. This is the gateway to heaven. To return to come home. It's when all the 12 rocks become one. When we realize as a nation that we are all brothers. When we understand that the shechina doesn't, can't and won't reside on any of us if it can't reside on all of us. The only ticket home is on "United". Hashem tells Yaakov take those 12 stones that became one and make it an altar for me when you come back here. Don't become back until your own 12 tribes and stones can become one as well.  

 

That same story that takes place with Yaakov repeats itself with his children. The 12 tribes go down to Egypt divided. Yosef is sold out by his brothers, because he's not frum enough. He thinks he will be the king and everyone has to bow down to him. He's the only one that's right. Yehuda, gets dumped by everyone because he's got his own personal scandals and he didn't do enough to prevent the kidnapping of his brother. Certainly not enough to bring him home. Maybe it was just to cover up for his own personal scandals with the champagne and cigars or with the signet ring and staff or whatever. When does the process of return begin? When they get together again.  When they take responsibility for one another. When they hug, embrace, forgive and become one. When they know what airlines they need to fly back on.

 

Which brings us now to Ki Tavo our journey to that airport that we are flying home from. Last week's parsha Ki Teitzei concludes with the mitzva to destroy Amalek. It's not just to destroy them. It's to remember to hate them. In the words of the Rambam its to awaken the hatred and loathing for this nation. Hashem wants and demands we hate them until today. Here's the Rambam.

 

Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos 189; "We were commanded to remember what Amalek did to us — that he was first to do evil against us — and to hate him at all times; and we should arouse souls by words to fight him, and we should urge the people to hate him, until the command is not forgotten, and the hatred is not weakened, and there is not lacking from souls as time passes.   

 

Hashem wants us to hate. To really want to kill all of them. All the time. Want to know what that looks like? Take a look at Hamas, at Hezbollah, at the Nazis. See that constant hatred that doesn't die out in their eyes, in their dreams? That's how Hashem wants us to feel about Amalek.

 

Do you know why? Because the only person that can feel that type of hatred and loathing and desire to kill every last one of them, is if the enemy killed their brother, they burnt their sister, they tortured their father, they're holding them in a dark tunnel in a cage and starving them to death. Somebody that has that being done to their brother or son and daughter and doesn't feel that hatred and desire to kill that enemy, is themselves a broken person. They don't feel connected to their own child, their own sibling, their own parent. Amalek did that to an even greater degree. He disconnected us from Hashem. He divided us and picked off a few chilonim that were sitting at the border. The weak ones. He divided us and thus Hashem's throne can't be complete. Thus, he accomplished his goal of turning us into cold uncaring rocks. Each of us worried only about ourselves. Each one thinking that the "tzadik" Hashem b'kol d'rachov, Our Father in heaven only needs to rest His "Head" on Jews that dress like me and follow my Rebbe.

 

The way to change that is to be filled with passion. To be filled with hatred. To feel that pain of our brother. To stop being a lone cold dead stone. To feel connected to the generation that left Mitzryaim and feel that anger at what Amalek is doing to us. What it did to them. What he's doing to our Father in heaven, who just wants to rest His pillow on all 12 of His stones united. Amalek made us cold, they removed that passion and love from one another. The only way to get that back is to be filled with rage and fire against them for the honor of our people and our God.

 

40 years later in the wilderness, our next "United" layover we're looking down at the banks of the Jordan. We're at our Parsha of Ki Tavo. They're calling us to the gate. We need to check in our luggage. Hashem announces that we are not allowed to take any sharp instruments with us to cut any rocks. Instead we need to take 12 big rocks with us. We need to take them together. Each tribe with their own rock. We need to put them together and make a mizbayach and sacrifice and rejoice together. Their own pekeleh. We need to cross the Yarden with them. We need to shlep them up to Har Eival with them. There we stand as one nation UNITED and take full responsibility for one another. We won't infringe on anyone else's portion because every yid had their place. We won't try to harm another person secretly, we won't take bribes, we won't change laws for orphans and widows or converts. We'll help those that are blind; physically, or spiritually. We bring our Bikkurim and remember that story of Yaakov back in that first exile and how it all started. We recognize that we are all one first born nation and we're done fighting. And then we hear that last terrifying Mussar schmooze, about all the turbulence that we've gone through and will go through on this flight if we sit in the lounge too long and forget about why we were chosen and where we're supposed to come to.

 

Rav Hirsch explains that the reason why the rocks couldn't be cut with a knife is because we are meant to realize that each yid is complete. They don't need to be cut down. If we are united and those stones become one and we see each yid as an uncut perfect stone upon whom the entire Torah is written then we will achieve the blessing and the Promise. We will not have any war. The redemption will come. We will finally be happy before Hashem. Happy as one. Happy with One. The Ksav V'Kabalah takes a different approach then most of the Rishonim who understand that the entire Torah is written on those rocks. He suggests that rather it was just one chapter that encompasses the entire Torah. It was Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad. The entire Israel recognizes and sees and reveals the Oneness amongst us and the Oneness of Hashem that shines from us. The Unity. United- Echad.

 

This Saturday night we Ashkenazim begin saying selichos. We enter into the last week of the year 5785 one of the most devastating years in modern history for our nation. We read the tochacha- rebuke and curses out loud so that it will be an omen that the year and its curses should finally conclude. Our flight is ready to takeoff. 5786 is our flight number. They're boarding now. Let's go greet Hashem in His land United.

 

Have a heavenly Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz


 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Der gleichster veg iz ful mit shtainer."-, The straightest path is full of stones.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

NEW EXAM THIS WEEK!!! JANUARY 2025!!

Let's see how I do, come and take it with me….


1. In Haifa, there is a public debate about the means of removing wild mammals that

penetrate the urban space. The animal in question is ___________


I see thousands of storks flying north. Which season is it?

A. Summer

B. Winter

C. Spring

D. Autumn

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/haneshama-lach    –I'm very excited!! In honor of Rosh Chodesh Elul and Selichos I share with you my latest composition (the first one in over a year!!) the beautiful Ha'Neshoma Lach arranged and sung by Dovid Lowy- this song is the perfect song to get into the Elul mode


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nie8pyKhjQQ&list=RDNie8pyKhjQQ&start_radio=1      – I haven't been able to get this song out of my head all week since I've heard it from Baruch Levine amazing composition from Reb Chaim Gershon Davis- Shehu Noteh Shamayim Emes Malkeinu

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RXIZMzwl1c – Charlie Kirk May Hashem avenge his blood a true lover and supporter of Israel on Shabbos!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNzuwQz1V5E&list=RDnNzuwQz1V5E&start_radio=1   – Yosseleh the Holy miser redone in Hebrew with great story and song by Shulem Lemmer


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMOa2ASgYTQ&list=RDwMOa2ASgYTQ&start_radio=1 – beautiful High holidays medley by Hesder Yeshiva Yerucham

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Nevuchadnezzar's Dream of our Exile - 583 BC  - With the Jews exiled to Bavel and Egypt we turn this column to the period of our exile, which really doesn't take place in Eretz Yisrael, but we'll see if we can make some connections. Our story turns to Nevuchadnezzar who was sitting in his palace 3 years after the destruction of the Temple an he has a dream. Being the most powerful King of the world with all nations bowing to him, Hashem revealed to him what the future for him and the rest of our history would be. Just as Pharoah so long ago with our first exile, it all starts with a dream. A dream that is interpreted by a smart humble and blessed Jew, here as well Daniel will be called to reveal to the King the meaning of his dream and what was to come.


The dream was that of an idol that had a golden head, a chest and arms made out of silver, a belly and thighs of copper and ankles of iron. The soles of the feet though strangely enough had one of iron and one of earthenware. The idol stood on a large pillar until a stone popped off and knocked down the entire statue from the bottom and it all distingrated into thin air. Pretty freaky,


Nevuchadnezzar woke up and forgot his dream, although it terrified him. He called in all of his wise men and interpreters and it seems they couldn't put the Humpty idol back together again as they couldn't tell what the dream was. They explained their problem by of course blaming the Jews. It was only while the Temple was around that the Jewish people had the holy spirit and Ruach Hakodesh to interpret dreams. Since it's been destroyed there's no more transmission down here. Nevuchadnezzar thus got very upset. It always seems to happen when one kills the Jews that they realize how much they needed us. He therefore got very angry and decreed that all the wise men that allowed him and advised him to destroy the Temple to death. Along with them were the four Jewish advisers Daniel and his buddies Chanania Mishael and AzaryaAryoch the executioner locked em all up and got ready to sentence them to death until Daniel stepped up to the plate and declared that he believed he could save them all, if given the chance. Aryoch grants his request and next week we begin the prophecy of our exiles and exodus with Daniel's first and eternal prophecy.


Is there any connection to this story here in Israel. Well, the small Gush Etzion village is named Neve Daniel after, a convoy that was killed that had the same name in the war of 1948. And that convoy was named after the prophet Daniel. As well there is plenty of museums in Israel that have replicas of idols from that period, although certainly not that one. Finally there is though in Salt Lake City Utah, what is known as the Gilgal sculpture park that actually has a sculpture of that idol as described in Tanach. I know Salt Lake isn't Israel but it's called Gilgal and the Mormons think it is so that's close right…?


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S REALLY TERRIBLE AIRLINES JOKES OF THE WEEK


An Israeli News reporter is at the airport, writing a piece on the rude service reputation of El Al airline pilots. She approaches Dudu the Israeli Pilot captain and asks, "for my article, can you please tell me the last time you were rude to a passenger?

“It was 1959“, says the pilot.

"Oh wow, that long ago?" she responds, "I thought you airline pilots held a reputation as very arrogant rude men"

Dud looks at his watch and says "Well, considering it's only 2025 now..."


Mendel was travelling for Yom Tov to Israel for the first time on a El Al.

Would you like dinner?” the cabin crew asked.

What are my choices?”

“Yes or no.”


Which airline has the smelliest planes? Incontinental Airlines


A blonde rings up an airline and asks: "How long are your flights from America to England?"

The woman on the other end of the phone replies: "Just a minute".

The blonde thanks her and hangs up the phone.


United Airlines will treat you like a King! Rodney King, that is.


I am looking for a name for my airline exclusively for bald people. How about "Receding Airlines"?


How do recognize an Israeli airline pilot in the room? ohh, he will tell you.


"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time." Said the Malaysian shark.


Say "Unreliable Airline" three times fast.

Delta

Delta

Delta


As a crowded El Al airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.


As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose.


Have you ever noticed that all airline Captains have the same last name? Every public address they make beings with: “Welcome, this is your Captain Speaking...”


Rushing up to the EL Al Airlines ticket counter. Yankel gasped, “Ma’am, please help me. I have to get to Israel in the worst way!” The clerk calmly pointed to her right and said, “Sir, that would be Delta


Ed Christie, CEO of Spirit Airlines, walks into a bar. He says to the bartender “Can I have a draft beer?"

The bartender says "Sure thing. That'll be .50¢"

He replies "50 cents? That's really cheap!"

The bartender looks up and finishes with ."....and it'll be $3 for the glass, $4 if you just stand, $8 if you want to sit down, and $3 each time to use the restroom

.

My wife called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

Sure,” they said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”

They further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. My wife was taken aback: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

 

Guy was your typical arrogant Israeli suave looking passenger and he sat down next to a pretty woman next to him for their long flight to America. He turned to her and said "Hey did the arilines charge you extra to sit next to such a handsome man?"

She took one look at him and said "yeah… but I didn't want to pay…"

***************************************

The answer to this week”s question is C OK, it's a new year coming up and a new exam and I'm off to a good start. The part A was easy for anyone that follows the News and as you know I'm a bit of a junkie. The wild boar plague the city of Haifa, coming out of Mt. Carmel where many of them roam and terrorizing the city. This was particularly true during Corona where they were all over the place. Part II was also pretty easy, in fact I was just by the Hula Valley last week, which is the second largest Bird Migration in the World. In the Fall, over a half a billion birds can be seen migrating from Asia and Europe down to Africa for the Winter. And in the Spring they head back up North after the winter back home again. So got the first one right making the score Rabbi Schwartz 1 and Ministry of Tourism 0. Let's see how long I can keep up this streak.