Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile
Showing posts with label nachas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nachas. Show all posts

Thursday, October 27, 2022

Mazel Tov!- Parshat Noach 5783 2022

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

October 28th 2022 -Volume 12 Issue 2 3rd of Tishrei 5783

 

Parshat Noach

 Mazel Tov!

 

And there she sat. She was beautiful in that magnificent white chair adorned with flowers. Her gown glistened. Her pure eyes sparkled. My eyes began to tear up as I gazed upon her heavenly countenance. She looked like an angel. My angel. Oh and next to her was the bride my daughter Rivkah, of course. I was talking about my wife Aliza, who made this entire wedding. Why who did you think I was talking about?

 

Ok, just joking. I just needed to get some brownie points there. I’ll admit was really talking about Rivkah, my little girl. My princess. My precious daughter who had grown up so quick and was getting ready to “leave her parents and cleave to her husband” as the Torah tells us marriage is. I wasn’t ready to give her up yet. I wasn’t ready to let her go. I wanted to hold her a bit more. To hug her a bit more. To let Aliza raise her a bit more, while I popped in occasionally into her life to kiss her and bless her. I really didn’t feel ready.

 

Is she really getting married? Wasn’t it just yesterday when we brought this precious little child home from the Virginia Hospital where she was born on the 17th of Tamuz, when all Klal Yisrael mourns the beginning of the destruction of the Temple and hopes and davens for light and joy?  She was the light and joy that came into our lives. She was different than Shani and Yonah. Shani was me-just in a girls body. Y’know, quiet, unassuming, polite, helpful and never causing any trouble or mischief. Yeah right… Shani was the fulfillment of my mothers “blessing” that I should have a child just like me.

 

Yonah, different than Shani was rambunctious. He was like a monkey climbing up and down anything. Fearless and all over the place and doing all the stupid things that his older sister would send him off to do for her. “Yonah- why don’t you climb on those three chairs on top of the fridge to get some candy that Mommy and Daddy hid”. “Yonah, let’s see what happens when we cook those family pictures in the aluminum pan in the microwave”. I can’t even count the almost heart attacks he gave my wife.

 

Rivkah, though was “deefrent et ahll” as my Savta would say. (I think that’s the Hungarian English translation of the Hebrew ‘bichlal shoneh”.) She was a princess. She cleaned her room. She played quietly by herself. She was soft spoken. She didn’t really cry. She was, like, “hi mommy, I haven’t nursed for a while and wouldn’t mind if you could feed me if you have some spare time. She was the type of baby that if she could’ve she would’ve changed her own diapers.”  Not that hers smelled at all. (As if I would know… my wife is looking at me and making a funny sarcastic face). Ok I’m exaggerating but you get the point.

 

We moved to Israel when she was 7, after our 6-year stint in Seattle, where she left behind all of the

“tanta’s” and “uncles’ she had gained there that doted on her. She was the baby of the West Seattle TLC Mishpacha and everyone took care of her as their own daughter. Moving to Israel at that age, making friends and going to school when you don’t even have the basic language, could be daunting. Yet, Rivkah pulled through like all our other children Baruch Hashem. In her soft and subtle way she became beloved to her friends and her teachers. Loyal, faithful, respectful, caring and even fun!. She is a Schwartz after-all. She went to seminary. She shteiged. She grew. She became a mentor. A woman. And now she was going to be someone’s wife. Yehuda’s wife…. She was going to be Mrs. Goodstein. Maybe even Rebbetzin Goodstein one day.

 

I don’t like losing Schwartz names from my family line. It’s a good name. My father is an only child and there’s not that many of us to carry it on. Granted Hashem sent the refuah before the Makka- with the birth of the first Schwartz granddaughter a week ago with the advent of Yonah’s daughter Malka Tzirel (Mitzi?) to the world. But I just don’t like losing daughters. Especially not my “special Rikvah”. By the way, that was the first Email I address I gave to her. Specialrivkah@gmail.com. Her password was of course. “IloveDaddy”. Now she’s going to be Rivkahgoodstein@sometypeofkosherfilteredemailserver.com and her password will probably be IloveYehuda. Yes, this was not easy for me.

 

We approached this little girl of mine as I escorted the chasan with his father to her for her badeken where he would take the first step of the evening of making her his forever. I let go of my son-in-law-to-be (in a few minutes) and handed the candle I was holding to someone and stepped up to that chair and closed my eyes and gave her my blessing. I offered my prayer to Hashem, Who had so thankfully brought me to this day. I looked down at her pretty veiled head and face and I lowered my head into what I felt was the halo that encircled her. “I love you”, I chokingly whispered. “I’m so proud of you” I sobbed. I’ll miss you… I said to myself. Yisimeich Hashem k’sarah Rivkah Rochel V’Leah- May you be like our Matriarchs. May Hashem watch you protect you, may He shine His light through you and may He only bless you with peace… And then she was his. I stepped back. I had done my part. Her life would be starting in a few minutes. I looked at my next daughter Elka as I walked away and I decided right then that I was locking her up in her room for at least another 5 years. I needed to recover from this, before I let the next one go…

 

OK. It’s time to write this E-Mail. I open up the parsha. The first words are about the generations and descendants of Noach. His three sons. His entire world. Unlike me his children didn’t always give him nachas. Well at least not his third youngest son, Cham. In fact the Ramban mentions that the only reason his children were saved was because of the merit of Noach. They were riding on their fathers’ coattails. Or perhaps sailing would be a better metaphor. Interestingly, at the end of the Parsha we have Avraham our Patriarch who is leaving to Eretz Yisrael. There, his father Terach accompanies him leaving to go to Charan together. Fascinatingly enough though the Ramban tells us that Terach eventually did teshuva and has a portion in the World to Come in the merit of Avraham. He derives that from the promise Hashem made Avraham that he would be buried at an old age and be “returned to his father in peace”. Sometimes it’s the children that bring back the parents and sometimes it’s the parents that bring along the children.

 

Yet there’s a deeper connection between fathers and children, between husband and wives and even of marriage and yiddeshe Nachas. It’s time to take a peek into one of my favorite commentaries none other than the Klei Yakar,written by the great 16rh century sage whose first name I share, Reb Ephraim Lunshitz. He notes that there are a lot of numbers and dimensions given in our Parsha, whenever you see that in the Torah pay attention. The Torah doesn’t give random details, and Hashem doesn’t just “stam” order things to be a precise size. There are hidden secrets and lessons in those numbers and if you dig really deep, you’ll discover whole new worlds. Sometimes you have to dig 15,000 amos deep to really really get it..

 

He notes that a repeating number in our Parsha is the number 15. The water of the flood was 15 amos high. It lasted for 150 days. The length and width of the Ark was 300 amos x 50 amos making it 15000 square amos total. If you multiply that by each of the three floors that were ten amos a piece high then you’re looking at 150,000 amos for each floor of space and on and on and on…

 

The number 15 he notes  in Hebrew represents half of the name of Hashem. Yud and Hei- Like the last two letters of Halelu-yah. We are told that Hashem created the world with these last two words of his name. Ki b’y-ah Hashem tzur olamim- with the letters yud and hei of His name, He formed the world. The Yud- the small letter that’s high up in the sky-that’s the world to come. The Hei is this world. It’s closed on top, open down below with a little window to climb in through on the top. Interesting. When Hashem wants to create the world, He uses the number 15. And thus when He wants to destroy the world with the flood, He uses the number 15 again and again.

 

It’s not just for building and destroying worlds though that the number 15 and the yud and the hei play a role. We are told that a marriage between a man and woman also only works with the yud and hei inserted in it. A man, of course in Hebrew is Ish- spelled aleph, yud, shin. A woman is Ishah spelled aleph, shin, and hei. If you take the yud out of the man and the hei out of the woman we are left with eish- which means fire. The only way the two fires and passions of marriage can survive or be whole and complete is with the yud and the hei. With Hashem’s name between them. When Hashem’s name is there though, then the three “partners” together can create a new world. They can create life; a child.

 

The generation of the Flood’s sin was the breakdown of the marriage structure. They were illicit, intermingling, interbreeding the name of Hashem-the ‘15’ of yud and hei that hold the world together was disappearing. Hashem decides Emcheh es ha’adam- I will wipe out man from the world. The word emcheh is the opposite of mechayeh- to give life. The difference is that the ‘yud’ has been removed. Without that spark of Hashem, it’s destruction. There’s no life.

 

The Ark would be life built anew. It was a place where not only humans, but even animals for the only time are referred to not only as male and female but even as Ish and Ishah- man and woman. These were animals that didn’t intermingle and that understood that the sanctity of their role in the world was to bring Hashem into creation. The dimensions of the Teiva are all about 15. It’s all about bringing Hashem back into this world. Its creation born anew. Mazel Tov!

 

There is another fascinating time that he mentions where we see this number play a role. It is when Dovid Ha’Melech is digging the foundations of the Beis Ha’Mikdash. It says that he struck the waters of the depths that had been held back since the flood. They threatened to rise and once again flood the world. According to the Talmud he threw in an earthenware shard with Hashem’s name on it and then composed the 15 psalms of ascents to set everything in place once again. He derived this method of erasing Hashem’s name from the mitzva of Sotah. It is permitted to erase the name of Hashem to bring peace between Ish and Isha. It is placing Hashem’s name back into the picture that may have gotten erased from the formula when there may have been some infidelity. Dovid as well was concerned that perhaps his sin with Batsheva would drown the world and not permit the foundation of Hashem’s temple and Home to be built. So he composed Shir Ha’Maalos. The song of raising Hashem’s name up; Revealing Him from the depths.

 

The Klei Yakar notes that the concluding verses of the 15 Shir Ha’Maalos is about a wife and mother. Eshticha k’gefen poriya- your wife is like a fruitful vine. The word eshticha is written with the three dot “segol” ‘eh’ sounding vowelization. The three dots, he writes represent the three partners in a child that comes from the woman; the father, the mother and Hashem. The Mishnas Yosef takes this even a step further. There is Isha which is woman with a one dot, eee-sounding chirik vowel under it. There is an Eishes Ish- a wife of a man which has the ‘eyy’ sounding tzeirei sound under it with two dots. And finally when she has a child it is eshticha- as it says in Shir Ha’maalos. The three partners together. And thus a world is born.

 

As I walked away from the Badeken of my Rivkah, I wasn’t walking alone. I felt accompanying me as I walked her down the chupah to her Bashert, the neshomas of all those souls that brought us here today. That brought me here today. That brought my wife here. They were all walking her down with me. My saba, my savta, my Babbie, my Zayidie, their parents, their grandparents, all of those generations that had built foundations for us to build upon. To bring the shechina a little bit closer to this earth. I look over at my parents, at my in-laws, at Aliza’s grandmother B’h who was sitting in the front row shepping nachas. I look at my other children and grandchildren surrounding the chupa looking on at their sister becoming an Isha. At their new uncle. The shechina was resting there and my song praising and thanking Hashem for bringing us to this day was playing in the background. Like Noach after the return of the dove with the olive branch waiting another 7 days to exit, my Rivkah circled her chasan 7 times building those spheres of holiness around her husband. Another home has built in klal Yisrael.

 

A glass has been broken. The crowd remembers Yerushalayim. We may have built another home and brought Hashem into this world in this new couple, but His real home is still waiting to be rebuilt. On the head of our simcha we remember our third Partner who is still awaiting his bayis ne’eman. We cry for Him. We channel our emotions towards Him. And then we shout Mazel Tov!

 

They’re off and we sit back and shep nachas. Nachas- true yiddisheh nachas, is also in our parsha the last letter of the word ToldoS Noach is the letters Nachas. Nachas is our generations that follow in the footsteps of all of those that came before us. It’s when the children take the role of their parents and begin a new home. Noach’s “toldos” were not just his children, they were his good deeds that his children built their homes upon. It was the world of Hashem they would begin the process of creating. May Hashem finally have that nachas He’s waited so long to shep from us. And may once again the sounds of the bride and the groom rejoice in the rebuilt halls of the Temple in Yerushalayim.

 

Mazel Tov!

Have a incredible celebratory Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Der “harey-at” iz a kurtser prolog tsu a lange drameh. “The wedding vow is a short prologue to a long drama.


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/tefilas-kallah - The most beautiful Chupah song you ever heard for my daughters wedding this coming week. Yitz Berry did the arrangements and the great Dovid Lowy on the vocals… Listen again and again!!

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/samayach  – And the second song I composed Samayach for the dancing which is of course the happiest wedding song you will ever hear and will have you dancing with me!

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/mi-adir  – one we’re on the subject this was my son Yonah’s composition for his Chupa

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/mi-van-siach -  And my composition for Shani’s wedding Chupah


https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/asher-bara  – And the leibidik Dance Song Asher Barah I composed for Shani’s wedding!



RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

15) For most of our history Jewish settlement in the Golan was centered in the   _________  region

This was because

A) The Terra Rosa earth is uniquely good.

B) The relative security that was in the periphery far away from the center of the country

C) Deep covered Basalt earth in a flat region

D)  An abundance of Dolomite rock that is good for agriculture

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The Final Battle - 718 BC – With the completion of the reading of the Torah and the new cycle of Torah reading, in this column as well we come to the end of the Book of Melachim Aleph/ Kings I. The last chapter picks up three years after Achav’s teshuva and true remorse after the story and murder of Navos and the taking of his vineyard inspired by the rebuke and dire punishment that was foretold for him by Eliyahu Ha’Navi. For three years he did righteous in the eyes of Hashem, but ultimately his pride and desire overtook him.

 

It was a meeting with his brother in law the King of Yehuda, Yehoshafat the son of Asa (who was the grandson of the first king of the Divided Kingdom Rechavam). Yehoshafat was righteous king despite his not so righteous wife Athalia the sister of Achav and daughter of the wicked Omri. It was a political marriage and united the kingdoms somewhat-which is a good thing. At the meeting between these two brother-in-laws Achav bemoaned the fact the land of Ramot Gilead on the other side of the Jordan River had been left in the hands of Ben Hadad and Aram that had conquered it under his fathers rulership. Today Ramat Gilead is located according to most in the city of Al- Salat in Jordan- the fifth largest city in that country that is currently illegally occupying the biblical portion of the tribe of Gad and about 30 KM from Amman. When driving up the Jordan Valley one can see the city.

 

Yehoshafat was wary of going to war and breaking the peace treaty that Achav had made with Ben Hadad over the city. He knew that the Arameans hated Israel and the Israelites victory was only a miraculous one. Hashem wasn’t happy with Achav’s sparing of Ben Hadad in the first place. Best not to get involved with them and poke the hornets nest. Achav was insistent though and they asked the prophets of Hashem to tell them what they should do. The nevi’im all said that he was good to go. But that made Yehoshafat even more suspicious. You know the old rule- if it sounds too good to be true… than it is. He asked to be brought to speak to the prophet Micha. Remember him? He’s the one that on the one hand foretold about the original victory against Aram. Yet, on the other hand he rebuked Achav for sparing Ben Hadad.

 

Achav, needlessly to say- is wary of Micha and Micha as well is unimpressed with Achav. He at first tells Achav that he should be blessed with success, avoiding giving a prophecy. But ultimately when pressed he tells Achav. It’s a mistake. He will get killed. They shouldn’t go forward. Yet Achav and Yehoshafat listen to the false prophets who were tricked by the spirit of Navos our sages tell us and they convince him to move forward with battle. It’s the beginning of the end for Achav. Next week, we’ll conclude with battle and the death of Achav


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE MARRIAGE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

“Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” .

 

Just remember, Yehudah never laugh at a choice my daughter makes. You were one of them, after all!

A wedding ring may not be as tight as a tourniquet, but it does an equally good job of stopping circulation.

After a quarrel, Hindy said to her husband Moishe, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” Moishe replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice

 

Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.

 

Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web.


Did you hear about the bald man who married his comb? He promised, “I’ll never part with it!


Did you hear about the two cell phones who got married? The reception was terrific.


I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married. The bride was radiant and the groom was glowing.


It’s been ten years since the invisible man married the invisible woman. Their kids are nothing to look at either.


Sadly, hydrogen and helium broke things off. But they still think of each other periodically


“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.


The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”


Even though there was a blizzard raging outside Yankel made it the half-mile to the bakery, where heasked the owner for six rolls.

“Your wife must like rugelach,” he said.

“How do you know these are for my wife?” I asked.

“Because your mother wouldn’t send you out in weather like this.”


Berel noticed that his 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so he mentioned it to his mother. “Things haven’t changed that much,” she said. “Only difference is, before, he didn’t listen. Now, he can’t.”

 

First, a man is not complete until he is married. Then, he’s FINISHED!

Second, a man does not know true happiness until he is married. And then, it’s too late!


In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.


A husband said to his wife, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.”

 

A wise man spoke at his son’s Sheva Berachos. He said, “Son, now that you’re married, it’s time to learn the fine art of compromise. Let me give you an example. Let’s say that it’s time to paint the kitchen. Your wife wants to paint it pink, but you prefer white. So you compromise – you paint it pink!”


********************************

Answer is B  There was a lot of debate about this question. I mean certainly the second part of the question. That life was in central western part of Golan or what is called the Southern Golan today everyone seemed to agree. In fact 30 percent of synagogues from Mishna Talmud period in Israel where found in that region, Gamla, Natur, and others. The question was why there? I’m not a big agriculture guy and I went with the far from center for safety thing, which I still believe is the right answer and confirmed by my Mihspacha magazine interviewee archeologist guy Mickey Orbach. Yet, some og the guides found something on line about the Terra Rosa land thing, which I still don’t think is correct. So I’m giving myself the right answer here.  And thus the score now is Schwartz 12 and 3 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

 

Friday, March 27, 2020

Coro- Nachas- Parshat Vayikra 2020/ 5780


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
March 27th 2020 -Volume 10 Issue 23 2nd Nissan 5780

Parshat Vayikra
 Coro-Nachas

It's a week before Pesach and my wife and daughters are making cakes, and breads, and pastas, because hey why not? It's not like we will not have enough time to clean the house for Pesach. And it's not like there's much else to do in the house at this point in time. Now we're not going away for Pesach this year, in case you were wondering. Nobody is. And yet in a normal year by this time in the game, we in the Schwartz family are outside on the porch eating out of plastic bags whatever leftover shalach manos we scrounged up or snuck from my kid's secret stashes. But this year is different than all other years. There's plenty of food. There's plenty of time to clean. It's a dream come true …right?
Do you remember last year the last minute scrambling to buy food for Pesach? The frantic yelling and screaming who's gonna clean this room, the car, the garage, the sefarim? How many times do I have to tell you already… What about all the invitations or travelling. Am I going to your parents or mine. Are all the kids coming to us? Where will they stay. All the airport runs…I can't stand to be with this brother in law, that sister, that cousin… he talks too much, we can never focus on the kids… all the politics and drama. Not this year. Just me and my wife and kids. Zeh Hu. Pretty cool. There are some benefits to this corona thing.

Now I know that's pretty callous of me. People are dying. There's a plague going on. Hashem doesn't let us got to shul, to yeshiva, to our favorite eateries, or tourist spots in Israel. You're right... We need to daven, we need to implore the heavens to stop this already. We need to do teshuva. But there's something else we need to do. You know what that is? We need to chill out… We need to sit back and understand that we have no control over what is going to happen, when this is going to end, how we will manage to pay our bills, to survive being cooped up in a house, when the next minyan will be, whether we will ever again taste a shwarma. We don't know. Just like we had no clue that this was coming in the first place. That could be pretty unsettling. I get it. But that's perhaps the biggest avoda/ spiritual work that we need to do now. Just sit back and recognize that we're in Hashem's hands. He is driving this plane. Not me. Not you. Not Trump. Not Bibi or Gantz.

I know that until now we all knew this and may have even believed it to a certain degree. That's not the only radical paradigm shift Rabbi Schwartz epiphany today. Everyone else is saying that already. How about this?  It's not even our merit of Torah in yeshivas or mass prayers in shuls it seems that have any control over any of this. Hashem pretty much shut those doors for us in case you thought that was what this was all about. To me it is reminiscent of the Jews standing on the backs of the Red Sea with the Egyptians in hot pursuit. There's nowhere to go and Moshe starts to pray and Hashem tells him just go. Hashem yilachem lachem v'atem tacharishun- God will fight for you and you just be quiet. Sit back and enjoy the ride or cruise. It's not easy to sit back and relax in total faith when there are thousands of Egyptian chariots and soldiers coming and nowhere to go. Our natural tendency is to pray, to give charity-or at least promise to- to repent, to go to some Rabbi for a blessing. But just to sit back and say Hashem is running the show and I have no control while I hear those horses coming… while I read those latest rising statistics, while I watch my savings crash, my income disappear… Can I say that then? The answer is yes we can. You know how I know that? Cause we did it before. It's how we were born as a nation and it's our upcoming holiday.

Think about Pesach for a second. If you haven't yet. It's the only holiday which we celebrate and commemorate on the day when nothing happened. That first seder night, we were still in Egypt. Pharaoh was still the king of Egypt. We were still slaves (although maybe unemployed due to certain home restrictions from plagues). There was in fact a plague that was raging outside and we were quarantined in our home. Just our families. That was our first seder. It must have been terrifying hearing the screams and the death count on Mitzrayim internet servers showing the numbers rapidly rising all divided up neatly by communities from midnight and on. But we just sat there and sang Pesach songs. Now this is not to say we were not vulnerable. Just a few weeks before we are told 80% of the Jews had died in the plague of darkness. But that night… no one was scared… no one even prayed. We just sat with our belts unbuttoned (hey after a few days in quarantine I know understand that commandment…) but ready to be snapped up, our shoes ready to leave the next day and our staffs parked at the door. We were leaving the next day. Were we packing? Were we worried? Were we scrambling? Nope we were chilled. We were in His hands tonight. We just have to finish this delicious lamb chop BBQ Matza sandwich and our four cups tonight.

The next morning we would rush. The next morning we would leave in great haste because we didn't prepare. We even eat the matza to remember how chilled we were that we didn't even pack sandwiches for the trip the day before. We didn't stop at the Glatt Mart on Avenue M-itzrayim. We were too busy chilling. The seder night that we commemorate we remember how there was no real salvation yet, but yet we felt that we had already experienced one. We were free while we were still in Egypt. Because we understood that night, that the Egyptians, the plagues, the whole world can come crashing down and we are in Hashem's hands. That is the memory of Mitzrayim. That is the story we tell our children. That is what we should have no problem explaining to them this year.

Do you know how we do that? How do we get to such a level of faith? The answer the Torah tell us is to tashbisu se'or m'bateichem- destroy the Chametz from your house. It's an interesting word the Torah uses. tashbisu- it doesn't only mean to destroy; biyur would be a better word to use to convey that concept. Tashbisu is like the word Shabbos. Rest the Chametz from your home. What is Shabbos? Shabbos is the day that we recognize that Hashem is running the world. It's a day of rest. I don't have to work. I don't need to check my phone every five minutes, I don't need to cook, turn on lights, open my shop or drive anywhere. I'm in his hands. Everything has been taken care of already beforehand. I can rest. I can chill. Akuna matata. Or today that might be Corona-Matata…oy.

Chametz is me working over the bread. The dough, the wheat, the baking the rising, it's bloated. It's me. It's my recipe (or Elka's-she makes the best), my braiding, my special flavor and aromas. For Pesach we let that all rest. We destroy that notion. The main commandment is to do bitul in our heart not even to burn it. The real plan is to just declare that it's not here. It's dust of the earth. All that Chametz is just our illusion of reality. That what I see, touch and eat are really here. What I can't is not. If that's true then perhaps I should worry about Egypt. They're here. Perhaps I should worry about my bills, the plagues… they're also here. So what do we do before Pesach. We say all that Chametz is not here. It's batel. It's not mine. I can make it halachically null by just saying it with all my heart; Bitul ba'leiv. All those cheerios in my cabinet, all those rugelach in my freezer. They're dust of the earth. They're not real.  Once I can do that I can then do the same when it comes to all my perceived fears, stress, and apprehensions about life. I can finally put them to rest. I can give them a Shabbos.

Pesach is called Shabbas. We count omer from the day after Shabbos, which our sages tell us is Pesach. It Shabbos because we are rested. We don't have to worry at all. Every Shabbos as well we remember Mitzrayim repeatedly in our Kiddush and our davening. Same thing. At Creation Hashem rested, but on Pesach 2448 years after Creation His nation who were slaves in Egypt on probably what would be the busiest, most terrifying and craziest night of the year or in our history, also rested. Also had faith. Also were able to wipe away all worries and bask in the glory of a Hashem driven world.

This week we begin the third book of the Torah with Parshat Vayikra. It is the parsha that introduces the concept of the laws of sacrifices. It is fascinating to note that there is one phrase that repeats itself throughout many of the sacrifices like the various Olah, entirely burnt offerings, or the shelamim-peace offerings. It is that they are done as a rayach nichoach la'Hashem -literally translated as a "pleasant smell for Hashem". Rashi however seemingly troubled by the notion that Hashem likes the smell of a good steak, explains the term differently. He tells us that the word nichoach is like the word nachas.

 "We gave Hashem nachas, because He said something and His word was carried out."

Interestingly enough the word nachas is similar to another word; menucha- rest.or nach- it is in its place. True yiddisheh nachas is when everything turns out the way it was supposed to. My son became a doctor. My boychik got a 100 on his exam. In my case it was when I didn't get thrown out of class for three days in a row. I lowered my parent's expectations a lot.

Hashem has nachas when he just says something and we do it. We don't do it because we want atonement for any major sins. It's why it doesn't say rayach nichoach by a communal sin offering or an asham/guilt offering. It's not even for a thanksgiving offering. It's for an olah that's entirely burnt. It's when I'm doing it because Hashem said. I'm literally burning an expensive cow just because I trust Him. I'm in his Hands. I want His peace. His shelamim. I want to give Him nachas. I want Him to rest with me. I want my place to be with Him.

This year's seder will be different than any other seder we have ever made before. I think all of us know that by now. For many it will be the first doing without their extended families. Some might even think that it feels lonely. But there is one thing about this seder that we should all appreciate is that we are never alone. This seder is probably the first one we will be celebrating globally that is most similar to that original one. We are locked in our home. There is panic outside and we are with Hashem. We are giving him nachas. We have rested all our Chametz and our notions that we have any control. It's just us and Him.

The Rambam in his final words in his essential work Yad Chazaka describes the era of Mashiach as one where the world will run as it usually does.

Maimonides (12:1) Do not presume that in the Messianic age any facet of the world's nature will change or there will be innovations in the work of creation. Rather, the world will continue according to its pattern.

So what will it be like then, you want to know? It will be like the past few weeks. Listen to what the Rambam continues to say

Ibid (4-5) The Sages and the prophets did not yearn for the Messianic era in order to have dominion over the entire world, to rule over the gentiles, to be exalted by the nations, or to eat, drink, and celebrate.

So in case that's what you thought we were hoping for you're missing the boat…

 Rather, they desired to be free to involve themselves in Torah and wisdom without any pressures or disturbances, so that they would merit the world to come,

No jobs, no work, nothing to take care of. We are all in His hands. This is the practice-run, people.

In that era, there will be neither famine or war, envy or competition for good will flow in abundance and all the delights will be freely available as dust.

No need to shop or fight over anything in the supermarkets. No one is interested in killing each other anymore. Nothing to even check the news about or whatsapp. We have it all. We will be at rest. So what will we be doing to keep busy?

 The occupation of the entire world will be solely to know God.

We''ll be learning and teaching how to give nachas to our Father. It's a big job and all eyes will be to us.

Therefore, the Jews will be great sages and know the hidden matters, grasping the knowledge of their Creator according to the full extent of human potential, as the prophet Yeshaya (11:9) states: 'The world will be filled with the knowledge of God as the waters cover the ocean bed."
Thus concludes the Rambam. Chasal Sidur Pesach. Our pesach seder will then end. Our new life will then begin. We've been waiting so long for this era and Hashem is preparing us for that moment. Nisan, the month of redemption is here. Can you feel it coming in the air tonight?
Have a restful Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

"Aleyn iz di neshome reyn"-. Alone, one’s soul is pure.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
20) The Fatimid caliph Al-Hakim is connected with:
  1. Bahá’í
  2. Ahmadi
  3. Druze
  4. Seljuq

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/LqvlDdQRrEo      – Chanan Ben Ari beautiful inspiring Corona song "Longing for People"

https://youtu.be/1a_E62Ru5l0  – Nobody comes to the Minyan no more- perfect Shteeble Hoppers classic!

https://youtu.be/k0ci5EYb9qA - Homeward bound Corona song… cute…

https://youtu.be/Qhw_vCUduLE  - Ari Goldwag's latest song Bitchu Ba'Hashem perfect!

https://youtu.be/8MnKmgJVEdc  - I thought this was hilarious, my mother thought it was in bad taste.. Die die yaeinu- Corona edition- not for the overly-sensitive…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Korbanos– Sacrifices today?– Welcome to the book of Vayikra. It's the book that will be filled with all of the laws of sacrifices. Now it seems that these are mitzvas that we have not been able to do for some millennia now sadly enough. But we're getting closer and closer to bringing them- excuse the korban/closer pun if you got it- oy…. So it's time to start brushing up on them. But there is more than that we could do. See these are mitzvos that we can do now more than ever even without the Beis Hamikdash. What do I mean? Listen to what our sages tell us.

The Talmud in Megilla tells us
Megilla (31B) It is written: “And he said, Hashem, by what shall I know that I shall inherit it?” (Bereshis 15:8). Avraham said before the Holy One, Blessed be He:

"Master of the Universe, perhaps, Heaven forbid, the Jewish people will sin before You, and You will do to them as You did to the generation of the Flood and as You did to the generation of the Dispersion, i.e., You will completely destroy them?"

 Hashem said to him: "No, I will not do that. "

Avraham then said before Him: Master of the Universe: “By what shall I know this?” God said to him: “Take Me a heifer of three years old” (Bereshis 15:9).

With this, God intimated to Avraham that even if his descendants will sin, they will be able to achieve atonement through sacrificing offerings. Avraham said before Him: "Master of the Universe, this works out well when the Temple is standing and offerings can be brought to achieve atonement, but when the Temple will no longer be standing, what will become of them?"

Hashem said to him: "I have already established for them the order of offerings, i.e., the verses of the Torah pertaining to the halakhot of the offerings. Whenever they read those portions, I will deem it as if they sacrificed an offering before Me, and I will pardon them for all of their iniquities."

Amazing! So reading or davening the verses of this week's Torah portion is like one brings the korbanos. We can achieve the same atonement. The same mitzva. Pretty cool.
Now the talmud at the end of Menachos tells us that it is not merely the davening of the sacrifices but rather Rabbi Yitzchak teaches that "one who engrosses oneself in the Torah of the sacrifices it is as if he brought a sacrifice". Seemingly the difference between the two talmuds is that the first one only says we receive the forgiveness of sacrifice but perhaps not the mitzva. If one actually studies the sacrifices, understands the laws and its ideas then it is as if he actually brought one. He gets the mitzva.

Now in many yeshivos or shuls they see the daily recitation of the korbanos which is in the beginning of the service as the optional part of davening. It's the bumper time when I come late to put on my teffilin, or on shabbos when we don't have any teffilin to come a few minutes late. In many yeshivos they even skip it entirely. Perhaps they feel it is taking away time from davening. But the truth is there seems to be a missing of priorities. It is mentioned in halacha that if one has a choice to say hodu and/or mizmor shir chanukas they should preferably recite korbanos for those were only established much later historically and the reason is because they were said in the temple when the daily Tamid was brought. So once we say korbanos we say that. But certainly the sacrifice themselves have priority. As well the establishment of the saying of yehi kavod, vayivareich dovid and the song of the sea are all after the talmud period (Gaonim and on) and therefore the sacrifices should have priority.

Now perhaps at this juncture one of the most is the recitation of the portion of the ketores / incense as we are told the Ketores was used to ward off the plague in the Torah. The Rema notes that this is something that should be said seriously out of a siddur not missing a word. Because the Torah tells us that if one misses out on one of the ingredients he is liable for the death penalty. And as our recitation is in place of that it should be precise and thus from a siddur. The Rema even goes further by saying that there were some places that they didn't recite it out of fear that people were in a rush to get to work and would not say it probably and that is in fact the custom in many ashkenazi communities in America. In Israel everyone says it because we just have more time…

But now Baruch Hashem he has given us a lot more time at home to daven at home. We have no excuse not to recite the korbanos. Perhaps all of this is to give us the time to do precisely that. Hashem wants us to be prepared for the Beis Hamikdash. So let's all bring the Shabbos offering this week at least in our prayers. Take the time, read them learn them and in that merit we will actually be able to offer them next week.


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Civil War Part II 939 BC – Last week the tribes got trounced in two wars with Binyamin after they came to avenge the atrocity of the Pilegsh that was killed by the men of Givah from the tribe of Binyamin. 40,000 people of the 12 tribes were killed, but now finally Hashem had told them that they were going to be successful after they had fasted and prayed. This time though they made a plan. They decided that they would set an ambush on them by drawing them out of the city with a small contingent. While the army would chase them out they would cut them off with the other contingent that would attack and destroy the city then they would join the first group and wipe out the army that was now disconnected from the city. The signal would be when the city was conquered they would set up smoke signals and they would turn around and start fighting.

And so it was about 30 Israelites drew the Binyamins out of the city on the road to Beit El. Then the other group of about 10,000 came out from behind and they killed 18,000 of the Benjaminites. The Binyamins turned back to flee to their city but they saw it was being burnt down and started heading down to the Midbar Yehuda area. They chased them and wiped out other Binyamin cities along the way killing another 5,000 of them. They chased them to Gadom, which is an arab village today in Taibeh called Ja'dum and killed 2,000 more. This made the total about 25,000 killed. There were 600 men left that fled to a place called Sela Rimon, which the early Greek historian placed in a place that is called Kfar Ra'amun a little north of the West bank settlement of Ofra. They hid out there for four months.

After slaughtering most of the rest of the men and women and even animals of the tribe of Binyamin, the tribes all took a vow that they will never allow any of their daughter be given to the tribe of Binyamin in marriage. (which pretty much consisted of the 600 men still hiding out). They were persona non grata amongst the Jewish people. Bye Bye… but then they had regrets. Uh Oh… What have we done? How could we pretty much wipe out one of the 12 tribes. This effects all of us. They gathered in Beth El cried to Hashem and tried to figure out what to do. On the one hand they had taken a vow not to marry them. The vow couldn't be broken. It was not just a personal one. It was taken by the entire nation. As well they couldn't set a precedent that a communal vow be broken. But at the same time they felt the need to not lose this tribe and help them out.

Stay tuned next week for the craziest and even more bloody solution…. As I said this story perhaps the worst in our entire history that had already taken close to 100,000 lives is one I imagine most of you are not familiar with. It's too hard, it's too sad, but it's lessons about how far we can fall in our religious zealotry on both sides is an eternal one.


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S AND EVEN MORE TERRIBLE CORONA JOKES  OF THE WEEK


FUNNIEST MEME's of the WEEK
If you feel bad that you're children are watching too much just mute it and put on the subtitles and Boom. Now they're reading.

For Chanukah 2020 : The Toilet paper menora to remind us of the time when we had only one roll of toilet paper and we made it last for 8 days

Are you sure that the Corona started from a bat? I don't know lately I've been to develop symptoms that are making me look like a cow

Latest Ministry of Tourism warnings:  Do not open the door for Eliyahu Hanavi this year, he has visited to many homes already.

The next internet asifa is going to take place on Zoom!

I'm starting to understand why pets try to run out when someone opens the door.

One of my teachers told me that I would amount to nothing when I left school, and here I am lying on the couch and saving the world.

If you are running low on space on your phone because of all of the memes you are receiving you can delete your waze and google maps apps… won't be needing them for a while.

Day 5 of Quarantine I will never complain about a 3 day Yom Tov again…

Day 8 of Isolation and it's like Vegas in our house, We're losing money like crazy, cocktails are acceptable at all hours and no one has any idea what time it is…

After years of wanting to thoroughly clean the house but lacking the time, This week I discovered that was not the reason.

New Hagadda Quote "I was like a 70 year old man (that's the at risk group) and I never merited to recite yetziat mitzrayim at night time until ben Zooma


The Coronavirus Haggadah,PART I

KADESH When the father comes home from praying in the middle of the street with the properly distanced four cubits per person, he immediately runs to the sink, and washes his hands with kosher for Passover soap and water for 20 seconds, while humming his favorite guitar solo. Then, he recites the bracha over water with a grape-y taste. Proper grape juice being unavailable since the closed Passover programs made it almost as scarce as toilet paper.
URCHATZ The head of the household scrubs his hands again, for 20 seconds, as does every other member of the household - but one at a time, to create the proper social distancing. Usually, no blessing is said here, but this year the proper blessing is Birkat Hagomel.

KARPAS The tradition is to dip a vegetable into salt water- typically parsley, celery, potato, onion, or lettuce. Since none of that could be secured at the store due to preppers and hoarders, anything green will do. It doesn't have to be food: some grass clippings or a Hulk toy will suffice. Also, due to low availability of table salt, we recommend using the surplus Ice-Melt in the garage (and having the poison hotline number ready). Winter has been cancelled for the rest of civilization anyway due to global warming, so you won't need it. If you're lucky, drinking the road salt will kill the coronavirus, a win-win.

URCHATZ II Everybody gets up one at time - not even single-file will be allowed - and scrubs their hands again for another 20 seconds. While doing so, it's a segulah to sing the alphabet in a language you don't speak, so that you spend longer washing your hands.

YACHATZ The head of the household takes the already-broken (due to legally questionable price-gouging on whole ones) middle matzah and breaks it further. He then estimates which the larger half of shattered pieces is and places it in the afikoman (Greek word meaning "ransom") bag, and hides it in a painfully obvious spot. This lack of cunning is to prevent children from wandering outside to look for it. Can't have that; it's The Purge out there.

URCHATZ III This time the person with the most-chapped hands goes first, out of respect.

MAGID We tell over and bring down the story of our exodus, and we begin with the prayer of Ha Lachma Anya. The text is spoken as usual, but with one edit: the part about inviting the hungry to come and eat. Yeah, no one's invited this year. Maybe next year, after the apocalypse.

As for the Mah Nishtana, these are the four questions that can be asked: 1. Does anyone really need to ask why this night is different from all other nights? 2. Do you not see what's been happening all around you? 3. Do you live under a rock? 4. Have you been under quarantine for so long, you completely forgot why you’ve been under quarantine in the first place? However, the head of the household is encouraged to solicit questions, starting with the youngest at the table, and to put no cap on it whatsoever. Don't worry, nobody's going anywhere for a long time, and there's no second night of Passover to prepare for. It was ruled that due to all the various quarantines and shelters-in-place, everywhere is considered a walled city, which means nobody is in Chutz L'aretz or “outside of the land.”…

STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK FOR PART II

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Answer is C–  Arab stuff is not my forte. That being said I thought I had this one by process of elimination. I knew this El Hakim guy was old and the Bahai and the Ahmedim are pretty recent 19th century inventions. I was also pretty sure that it wasn't the Druze cause I knew it was this Darzi guy that started the whole thing. So I assumed its probably The Seljuqim of which to be frank I remember absolutely nothing about. I used to know it in my course but haven't thought about them since. But I was wrong. The correct answer was the Druze. Because this Dazi guy said that El Hakim was like some Divine incarnation- a Muslim Yoshka if you will… So I got that wrong. So the score now stands at  Schwartz 12 and 8 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam. Things are not looking good for me now…Better up my game.