Karmiel

Karmiel
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Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts

Saturday, January 22, 2022

Ma... I'm Home- Parshat Yisro 2022 /5872

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

January 22nd 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 17 20th Shevat 5782

 

Parshat Yisro

Ma… I’m Home!

 

Shani was on the phone again. My wife handed it to me with this look that said ‘You’re dealing with this’. I’ve had enough already. It was your bright idea to send her off to Detroit to board by your parent’s house while she was attending school there. I was fine keeping her here with us in Seattle. But, no, you wanted your daughter to have that wonderful special form of Detroit Jewish education that you and your siblings had. Well then, it’s on you to deal with all the complaints and the fallout. She’s in 7th grade for gosh sakes. She should be with her parents and siblings, not with her grandparents. What were you thinking? That this was going to be smooth?!

 

So, I took the phone and Shani began going on and on. Bubby doesn’t let me hang out with my friends… She hocks me about doing my work all the time… She took away my phone… I can’t handle this anymore. I’m not a baby. She reminds me to say Shema every night and brush my teeth. I didn’t tell her that I’m 50 years old and she still does that to me. Rather, I turned to my poor daughter who was clearly suffering from abandonment issues on the other side of continent 3000 miles away and who had seemingly forgotten what a pain in the neck her father was when she used to be living at home, and in that gentle, sensitive, caring fatherly way that I’m known for, told her quite plainly that I’m not that worried for her. I survived. She’ll survive. Everything will be alright. I turned out just fine and I’m sure she will as well. There was silence for a moment or two and then she asked if she could have Mommy back on the phone. I handed it back to my wife. I don’t believe I got dinner that night and I think she sent me directly to my room.

 

The next day the scene replayed itself. Only this time my wife hands me the phone even more exasperated. This time it was my mother on the phone. Uh Oh… Now I’m in trouble. I quickly brushed my teeth and said Shema and then took the phone.

 

“Hi Ma! What’s up?”

And then it began. Shani doesn’t listen. She’s always on the phone. She doesn’t do her work. She’s always going out. This is impossible. I don’t know what we’re going to do with her. I stopped my mother at that point and once again quite sensitively and of course respectfully shared with her some important words and lessons.

 

“It’s all your fault, Ma” I said. “When I was a child, you cursed me that I would have a child just like myself one day. Well now I do. I guess you just never thought I would send her back to you, or something. Well, there you go. I guess you have to watch what you say. You never know when it will come back to haunt you…”

 

There was silence once again for a minute and then my mother asked if she could have my wife back on the phone. I went to my room on my own that night and grabbing the leftover cold pizza from the fridge on the way. I didn’t think I would be getting supper for a long time or at least until Shani graduated Elementary School.

 

Baruch Hashem Shani turned out great. The next year she boarded by someone else. I figured my parents deserved to be grandparents instead of parents once again and Shani deserved to have a Bubby and Zaidy rather than Daddy and Mommy surrogates. One year was enough for them to impart all the wisdom and teachings that I never absorbed and wanted her to get from “Bubby and Zaidy school” anyways. All was good once again, I had supper and was allowed out of my room sometimes.

 

Now I know you’re looking at me and thinking, what type of parent send away his 12-year-old daughter across the country to live by her grandparents for two years. Children need to be with their parents, my wife tells me. Funny, how when she became a grandmother though, that philosophy changed. As my grandchildren seem to be in my house more than my daughter’s- mostly because my dear wife “Saftie” goes over and picks them up all the time. But being a very big Rabbi with an encyclopedic knowledge of Torah stories and interpretations that many people miss- particularly the ones that can justify my warped parenting philosophies, I have no problem finding ancient Jewish justification for my ideology. In fact not only do we find that it’s a good thing to send your children away to Bubby and Zaidy for extended periods of time, it’s the prelude to the most pivotal event and parsha of our becoming a nation; The revelation at Sinai in our Torah portion.

 

Our Parsha oddly begins with possibly even a non-chronologically correct introduction to Matan Torah with the story of Yisro, Moshe’s father-in-law returning his wife and two children to him “achar shilucheha”- after Moshe had sent them over to Bubby and Zaidys house in Midyan; which I want to point out many used to call “Mo Town”. Now I know that may seem a bit confusing to you, as we had the story back in Shemos, before the plagues and the Exodus, when Moshe returns with his wife and kids to Egypt and they stayed over night and a snake came and almost swallowed him up because he hadn’t circumcised his child yet. But the Midrash tells us that when he got to Egypt his brother Aharon took one look at the wife and kids and asked Moshe if he was mad bringing them down to Egypt. There are enough slaves over here already. This is child endangerment. So, Moshe sent them back to their Bubby and Zaidys’ house and seemingly according to Unkelus and the Baal Ha’Turim even divorced his wife. Yisro now was bringing them back after the Jews had left Mitzrayim and trying to convince Moshe to take them back. This is the beginning and introduction to our receiving of the Torah. With this intro taken care of we can only now get to the Ten Commandments.

 

It’s a mind-boggling and troubling story and idea on many fronts. Why would Moshe divorce his wife? Why would Aharon of all people, the great ohev shalom and rodef shalom, who was known to be the Shalom Bayis go-to-guy for all Klal Yisrael’s marriage problems, advise his brother to send them away? It’s even more perplexing when you think about Moshe’s early childhood roots. His own father Amram we are told also divorced his mother, back when Pharaoh was chucking Jewish babies into the Nile, for fear and because of the pointlessness of producing anymore Jewish crocodile fodder for Egypt’s nefarious final solution. Yet, Miriam stepped in and convinced him that he must have faith. The redemption is coming. We can’t be worse than Pharaoh. And from that reunion Moshe is born. Yet here Moshe himself sends his wife and kids away? Where’s his faith? How and why would he want them to miss out on all the great miracles that the rest of the nation would witness firsthand? And of course, finally, why is this story the introduction to the giving of the Torah?

 

To answer these questions in the most Jewish of ways, there is one more question that I would like to ask followed by an amazing story- so hang in there it will be worth it. Commandment number five, at the centerpiece of the Big Ten is the mitzva to honor one’s parents. The Torah tells us quite unusually the reward for this mitzva, that if we fulfill it properly, we will merit a long life. There is only one other mitzva in the Torah where the Torah delineates this specific reward for its fulfillment and that is strangely enough the perplexing seemingly almost opposite mitzva of sending away a mother bird before one takes its baby eggs. I say opposite mitzva, because whereas the mitzva of honoring one’s parents seems to be about building and respecting the relationship between parent and child, by this Mommy bird we are literally doing the opposite. We’re chasing her away from her kids, so we can separate them from their mother. Yet, it seems that this is such an important mitzva that it is on par with one of the ten commandments and whose reward is long life.

 

One of my heroes of the last generation, who I’ve written about was Rebbi Yissachar Shlomo Teichtel, the author of the incredible work on the specialness and centrality of Eretz Yisrael and the return to the land that he authored in the middle of the Holocaust, called Em Ha’Banim Semeich- the Mother of children rejoices. In his introduction he explains the title of his sefer with the most personal of stories that happened to him during the war. In 1942 before Pesach, word got out in the Jewish community pf Czechoslovakia that the Nazi controlled government would be issuing a selektzia for all Jewish girls over the age of 16 who would be taken away and sent to camps. Rabbi Teichtel, who at the time had two daughters of that age, took them before Pesach and tried to smuggle them out of the country traveling to the border and assuring his wife that he would send word as soon as he arrived safely. However, before he made it to the border he was discovered and arrested along with his daughters and placed into jail. His and their fate was uncertain. When his wife got word of his precarious situation her Yom Tov of Pesach turned into days of sleepless nights, worry, tears and heartfelt prayers for her family.

 

Rav Teichtel writes that due to the incredible efforts of the Nitra Rav Shmuel Ungvar they were able to bribe the prison officers and achieve their release. Word was immediately sent home to his wife on the last day of Pesach and on Isru Chag she waited anxiously at the doorway to their home for their return. He then continues and writes

 

“When they arrived, she burst into tears and overwhelmingly poured out all the emotions of her heart. On account of the profuse outpouring of emotions she was unable even to utter words of thanks to Hashem for the great miracle He preformed on their behalf. He who did not witness this reunion- the mother reunited with her daughters after such a dreadful captivity, the tears of the mother when she saw that her daughters had returned to their borders, the joy of the joyous mother of children- has never witnessed true feelings of joy.”

 

“I imagine” he continues. “This will be the joy of our mother Eretz Yisrael when we all return to her bosom after the horrendous captivity that we are now experiencing.”

 

The Zohar Ha’Kadosh tells us that the mitzva of shiluach ha’kein is precisely this idea. It is to elicit in heaven the cries of the mother bird as she is being sent away from her children and the mercy of our Father and His longing for that reunion that we have awaited so long for. Do you know what the mitzva of kibbud av v’eim is about? It’s not just about hakarat ha’tov and showing the natural respect and appreciation to our parents for having brought us into this world or even connecting us with a sense of awe of the generations that have come before us. If that would be the case the mitzva would then be on the second set of tablets that deal with the commandments between Man and his fellow man rather than between Man and Hashem. The mitzva rather is about understanding or perhaps even instructions- as the word Torah literally means-about what the essence of our lives is all about; being the treasured nation of Hashem that will shine that light to the entire world.

The core of our essence is that we are children of Hashem. We have a Parent that loves and cares for us and brought us into this world because He loves us and wants us to appreciate that love. For us to recognize that, He programmed into all of humanity that natural love for a parent to a child. Yet the biggest danger and most painful form of destruction of that purpose is when the child is oblivious to the love that is there for them. When they take their lives for granted. Their parents for granted. Their existence for granted. Hashem tells us that the essence of a long meaningful life on this world is only when we honor, appreciate and revere that core of who we are. For without it we are exiled. We are sent away from our Father. This isn’t a punishment in as much as it is the method of awakening us to how much we miss Him. How much He loves us. How much we need Him back in our lives. It is to elicit that cry of the mother bird. It is to bring us back to our Mother Eretz Yisrael once again home and see her rejoice.

 

The prelude to our receiving the Torah is the return of Moshe’s wife and children to him. To be that medium between our Father in heaven and His children that had been separated for long, he had to experience how special that relationship and the longing of his own for his family. Aharon, the peacemaker upon seeing Moshe coming with his children to the house of slaves perhaps saw that there needed to be a mitzva of shiluach ha’kein to elicit that longing in Moshe himself to be the one that could bring Hashem back to his nation. To reveal and appreciate how all the Torah that will be revealed on Har Sinai through our nation to the world is really all about a child appreciating their Parent and the parent showering that love back upon them.

 

But there is an even deeper idea than that as well in this story. Those two children of Moshe, Gershon and Eliezer, the Torah tells us are named after two different incidents in Moshe’s life. Gershon is named because he was stranger in a foreign land and Eliezer is because Hashem had saved him from the sword of Pharaoh. We know their names already, but yet they are repeated here because their names represent the circumstances by which Jews assimilate and forget their father. There are so many of our brothers and sisters who don’t have a connection with our history. They missed the great miracles. They were raised in a strange land. They never had a Pesach Seder. As well there are others that have suffered so much persecution. So much pain and so much suffering. The Jew has been beaten out of them on the surface. They feel orphaned and that they have no father as they are so far away from seeing His light.

 

 Those two sons Moshe returns and brings them to the Mt. Sinai as well, thus telling us that they are also and all of their namesakes as well in similar circumstances through our history also have a Father waiting for them.  They are as much a part of our nation as the rest of the family. They are our brothers and sisters and our family is only complete with them standing side by side with us on Mt. Sinai. That is the only way that we can shine that special light and love we share from Hashem to the rest of the world.

 

Our Mother bird is waiting for us. The land is bringing back it’s children. The gates are opening up again. And Hashem is standing on top of His mountain with His cloud of glory to welcome us back and embrace. We have finally come home.

 

Have a Torahdikeh Shabbos

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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In case you missed my last week’s special Mishpacha magazine with your favorite Rabbi Tour guide

 

Just in time for TU BISHVAT this past week3 check out my latest column below

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Yedeh mutter denkt ir kind iz shain.- Every mother thinks her child is beautiful. 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

12)  A bridge in the North of Israel, over the Jordan or the Yarmuk River, which was exploded on "the Night of the Bridges": ______________.  Subsequent to this attack, the following historical event occurred:

 

a)  Operation Agatha (“Black Sabbath”) (ha’shabat ha’shechora)

b)  The Altalena Affair

c)  The "Unfortunate Affair" (parashat esek ha’bish).

d)  The Syrian armored attack on Degania

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/9q09ui2jBaU  – In honor of the Yartzeit of Rav Belsky’s composition Shimru Shabsosai beautiful

 

https://youtu.be/lLMjOUH2DjU  - Ki Keil Melech- a brand new Eitan Katz niggun and release. Amazing!

 

https://youtu.be/Q2uWgOkiycI – Moshav Band with a Tu Bishvat inspiring song Adam Eitz Ha’Sadeh

 

https://twitter.com/i/status/1483486345939066889 - Incredible video of Reb Hershel Shachter singing HaBein Yakir Li with his wife on the piano. Holiness..

 

https://youtu.be/HJ75MiANJBg - Yes!! Abie Rottenberg and Baruch Levine in this amazing Musical journey of his greatest hits.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Remembering the Day -Parshat Yisro- We have finally reached the ten commandments and of course the “official” mitzva of Shabbos. Zachor es yom Ha’Shabbos l’kadsho- remember the day of Shabbos to sanctify it. In the second recounting of the Ten commandments in Devarim the Torah changes the terminology and tells us Shamor es Yom ha’shabbos- we should guard the day of Shabbos. These two aspects we’re told reflect both the positive commandment of remembering and all of the negative commandments of refraining to do work. I believe that most of understand and relate to the negative thou shall nots aspects of Shabbos with it’s myriad of laws and details, but on the other hand the commandment in our Parsha of Remembering the day we really don’t get. What does it mean to remember the day?

 

The most obvious explanation of this mitzva is of course the biblical command we have each week to make Kiddush. To sanctify the day with our statement that today is the day of Shabbos. Rashi and other meforshim all understand that the mitzva to remember the Shabbos is not just a once a week mitzva. It’s a mitzva that we have all week long. If you see something nice and tasty during the week, then buy it for Shabbos. In doing so you fulfill the mitzva of remembering the Shabbos on Wednesday or Tuesday even!. As well when we recite our daily psalm that was recited in the Temple at the end of our morning service it begins with the words “today is the _____ day of Shabbos. Again another mitzva of remembering the Shabbos during the week, by counting all days for Shabbos. Amazing!

 

But perhaps even most fascinating is the Ohr Ha’Chaim Ha’Kadosh who tells us that merely saying the word Shabbos is already a fulfillment of the Mitzva. For the Zohar tells us that Shabbos is a name of Hashem and whenever we say the word Shabbos we infuse the world with that holiness that comes when we say the name of Hashem. In fact my dear friend Reb Sruly Besser in his weekly “Real World” parsha talk mentioned that in the old days the men in the Mikva would wish each other a gutten zibenteh- a good seventh day as they didn’t want to say the name Shabbos- a name of God when they in a room where there were people in stages of undress.

 

The story goes of Reb Aryeh Levin who after davening on Friday night would walk over to the Kotel on Friday Night and wish each soldier individually a “Gut Shabbos”. His son once asked him why in his  advanced age and perhaps even in the cold winter this was such an important task for him that could sometimes take over and hour. He responded that each soldier that says the words Good Shabbos, or Shabbat Shalom back to him fulfills this positive commandment of the Torah to remember the day of Shabbos. Such an important mitzva and such an easy one to share with every Jew. In the merit of our Good Shabboses that we say Hashem blesses us with the best gift that He possesses.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The Sins of Shlomo- 827 BC-   With the wisdom of Shlomo and the wealth comes corruption. The Navi is harsh with Shlomo in describing his fall. The Torah gives various commandments to a King who is pretty much given free reign in many areas. Yet the Torah tells us that he is not to get a lot of horses for fear that he may take people down to Egypt. As well he is not allowed to take too many wives, the maximuim being 18. Well according to our sages Shlomo went a bit overboard on both of those counts. Our sages tell us that he had over 900 wives and 300 concubines. Which if you make a cheshbon pretty much makes him in Sheva Brachos every week of his life. Although being the smartest of all men, I’m sure he was never short any Sheva Brachos Torah.

 

To make matters even worse most of his wives were not even Jewish. They were from all of the nations of the world. Ammonites, Moabits, Hittites and even the daughter of Pharaoh who he married the same night as the Temple dedication. According to some commentaries these wives converted, yet it is clear that their conversions weren’t sincere as they continued to worship idols afterwards and even build altars on Har Kamosh – which is another name for the Mt. of Olives which is dierectly across from the Temple Mount. When he married Pharoah’s daughter she got him inebriated and he even slept through the Temple dedication and sacrifice on opening day! His mother Batsheva was sent to awaken him and boy did she give it to him. Incidentally the source that we have for the last time of prayer- sof zma tefilla being the 4th hour of daylight is because that’s when Kings arise actually comes from that first morning when Shlomo slept in!

 

The reason for Shlomo’s downfall really is because our sages tell us that he was too smart for himself. He thought the rules and laws don’t apply to him. He obviously did he what he did for the sake of heaven. He thought by making these marriage allegiances he would be bringing all of the nations of the world closer to Hashem. He felt it was the Messianic era. The Temple was built. He was the 15th generation since Abraham. The moon so to speak was at its peak. Yet he failed. And the moon set. Hashem said that he would not avenge Shlomo in his lifetime in the merit of Dovid his father, but ultimately his kingdom would be doomed. And thus the era of the greatness of Israel begins to fall.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FUNNY PARENTING LINES OF THE WEEK

 “Parenthood is a journey except it's just traveling from room to room putting away the same toys all day long.”

 “Parenting is mostly just informing kids how many more minutes they have of something.”

 “I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, ‘Not yet, but we placed an ad.’"

 “My favorite part of parenting is after I drop my kids off at school. I’m kidding. It’s after they go to bed.”

 “Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.”

 “Save your voice calling for your kids. Just open a bag of chips and they'll materialize out of nowhere.”

 “Hell hath no fury like a toddler who’s sandwich has been cut into squares when they wanted triangles.”

 “According to my kid, the perfect amount of time to stay at the park is five more minutes.”

 “A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”

 What am I doing right now, you want to know? I’m currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.

 Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing."

 Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is: Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”

 “Having one child makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.”

 “Can’t find your kids? Don’t worry; sit on the toilet. They’ll find you.”

 “Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm not spontaneous anymore. Will I get out of these pajama pants today? Maybe... maybe NOT. You just don't know.”

“Then suddenly you're a mom declaring ownership over swept dirt on the kitchen floor yelling DON’T YOU DARE WALK THROUGH MY DIRT PILE!”

 “Hi, my daughter will be late to school because she can zip her jacket by herself."

 cience fiction legend Isaac Asimov related this story about his Jewish mother in “It's Been a Good Life.”

“My mother, who came from Russian, decided to go to night school and learn how to write English. One of the teachers finally asked her, ‘Pardon me, Mrs. Asimov, are you by any chance a relation of the brilliant Isaac Asimov?’”

“My mother, who was four feet, ten inches tall, drew herself up to her full height and said, proudly, ‘Yes. He is my dear son.’”

“‘Aha,’ said the teacher, ‘no wonder you’re such a good writer.’”

“‘I beg your pardon,' said my mother, freezingly. ‘No wonder he’s such a good writer.’”

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Answer is A – I believe they messed up this question at least the first part. There were 11 bridges blown up the night of the bridges by Israel fighter forces to send the message to the British that they weren’t letting us in, so we’re not letting them in. However in the North on the Jordan River there was Gesher Bnos Yaakov which I knew and guessed but it’s not near the Yarmuk which is lower by Chamat Gader and Naharayim. The Bridge over there which I forgot the name originally is called El Chamma bridge but that’s not on the Jordan. So I’m not sure what they wanted. I’m going to count my answer as correct as it is over the Jordan although I suspect that they wanted the other one. Part 2 of the question was easy the aftermath of them blowing up the bridges was that the British went nuts on Shabbos and raided and arrested tons of Hagana and Irgun soldiers. So the score is now Schwartz 9.5 and 2.5 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.


Thursday, June 10, 2021

A Good Wife- Parshat Korach 2021/ 5781

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

June 11th 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 35 1st Tamuz 5781

 Parshat Korach

A Good Wife

 

I'm tall. I don't mean Rechnitz tall. That's not tall. That's giant. But I'm just a very tall person. I'm almost 6 foot when I wear three inch heels. I know I'm tall because everyone else in my family is respectfully shorter than me. I kind of worked it out that way when I married a wife who was very short. She's beautiful, but short. Good things come in small packages they say. My towering height as opposed to my family works out nicely for me though, because I don't like to bend down to pick up things that I regularly drop on the floor. I figure that since they are anyways closer to the ground it makes more sense that one of the kids should bend down and pick it up. I have no problem reaching things on the high shelves for them. It's easy for a tall guy like me. And they don't really put anything too high anyways, since they can't reach it. But it does allow me to hide those pastries or nosh where no one else can get them.

 Now my son is Yonah could've been tall as I do have some tall genes in the family. Yet always one who wanted to show honor to his father, he stayed short. I in turn reciprocated and took all of his fat genes and absorbed all of those extra pounds he genetically should've had. What I wouldn't do for my children I tell you. Unlike his father though, he chose a tall Kallah that will reach and hide things on the top shelf from him. Although neither of them seem to eat anything so it might just be celery sticks, brussel sprouts, broccoli or some other green animal food. It's more chulent for me, so I'm not complaining.

 Now being a good father and a very wise one as well, I feel it is my duty to give my son some important tips for marriage and life. The problem is I really don't have tips for being married to tall girls. The Talmud shares its sage advice for one who marries a short girl in the tractate

 Bava Metzia (59A) If your wife is short bend down and whisper to her.

 The Talmud tells us that this referes to the importance of getting advice from your wife in worldly matters and certainly household matters. The Ben Yehoyada explains that it might be embarrassing to let everyone know that Mama is calling the shots. So if you bend down and whisper than hopefully she will whisper back and then you can pretend it was your idea all along. But who are we fooling? Everyone knows who wears the pants in the family. As I tell people I'm the Baal Ha'Boss. My wife is the boss. So maybe the advice for a tall girl is for the husband to climb up on a stool and whisper in her ear. I dunno, as I said I don't really have experience in this area. And to be honest I was never really good at the whispering thing anyways.

 Now as far as good advice for my soon to be daughter-in-law (July 29th mark your calendars!) I'm even at a greater loss. I have no clue how to be a good wife. I've barely figured out how to be a half decent husband. Certainly I know that they say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and it's worked pretty well for my waistline. My cardiologist though has some doubts if it's doing any wonders for my heart. But I don't really think that will work with Yonah. As I noted before he could barely finish a half a falafel; fuggedabout a shwarma. Fortunately, though this week's Torah portion's subtext mentioned in the Midrash gives us some helpful tips. Or better yet what our sages tell us are the perfect examples of a good, smart wife and one that really wasn't, to put it politely. Welcome to Parshas Korach and let me introduce you to two wives; the wife of Korach and the wife of Ohn ben Peles.

 Korach, as we know, led a rebellion against Moshe and Aharon, claiming that the entire nation is holy. He campaigned on the idea that we don't need any leaders or priests to serve as our intermediaries to God. And if we do need them than frankly he was the best candidate for the job. It's kind of like the elections in Israel recently where right wings candidates said we don't need any Arabs or left wingers in the government and the left wingers all said we don't need any right-wingers in the government and that it should never happen that the two should be together for each one will destroy the nation. But…. if we have to have be together with the other party then each change their tune and say that they are the perfect one's to lead it…. I dunno. I don't think I'll ever understand politics. But I digress... as usual.

 In the end Korach's rebellion failed. Hashem opened up the earth and swallowed him and his family up. His 250 followers got killed by fire and another 14,700 got killed by a plague. It was not a good day for the Jewish people.

 Now the Midrash tells us that this fantastic idea in fact didn't really start with Korach. He was pretty much happy sitting on his couch and writing his E-Mail and surfing the internet. His wife though couldn't handle her unemployed husband who didn't get the job of being the Kohen. So she started hocking him. "It's not fair". "Who is Moshe to do this to you". And the final blow of course was that "You-look-really-funny-without-any-hair" line she started taunting him with. See, part of the induction process to the tribe of Levi serving in the Mishkan was that all their hair was shaved off, while Moshe and Aharon shook them up and down like a Lulav. Never make fun of a man's lack of hair. It's our soft spot. Korach who's name actually in Hebrew means bald, was particularly sensitive to this subject. A little like my son Tully when his weekly haircut that he demands his mother gives him doesn't turn out the way he wants it to.

 Korach argued with his wife that Moshe as well was shaved and bald. But she responded that Moshe's act was like Shimshon the Nazirite who said "Let me die with the Philistines". He only did it so he could make you look bad and was willing to suffer it for himself. She claimed that even the maaser tithes that he would receive he had to pay its dues to the Kohanim. Enough is enough, it's time to get off the couch and do something about it already. And thus Korach's life changed forever. Which really wasn't too long as the next day he was swallowed up by the ground where no one would ever make fun of his baldness again.

 On the other hand, we have the wife of Ohn ben Peles. He was from the tribe of Reuvein who being neighbors with Korach's family kind of got sucked into this whole fight. It seems it was a slow day in Kollel for Ohn and he spent too much time hanging out in the coffee room schmoozing politics with the boys. Not the best place to get further in life. Thankfully though Ohn married well. When he came home and told his wife that he was planning on checking out the hafgana the next day with his buddies, she set him straight. Unlike Korach's wife who schlepped him off the couch she quite the opposite sat him down on it and did some wifesplaining to him.

"I love you dearly honey, but this is a really bad idea that doesn't make much sense". See whether Moshe wins or Korach does either way you're going to remain the same shlepper in the coffee room. Sit down tatteleh, let me get you a drink and I'll take care of the rest. Ohn objected that he had taken an oath with his brothers. "But I promised them….". (Fascinatingly enough one midrash even suggests that Ohn was really the brother of Dasan and Aviram the troublemakers who also met their end with Korach's folly.)  Once again Mrs. Ohn tells him not to worry. She shikkers him up a bit, lies him on the couch and then she sits in the sh'aar/ gateway -of her tent and starts uncovering her hair. Obviously when the bro's come to pick up Ohn they take one glance at the immodest uncovering of a married woman's hair and run the other way. Which she pretty much knew would happen anyways. And thus Ohn ben Peles was saved by his wife.

 So the first important lesson from this Midrash I guess is, is that couches are pretty much good places for husbands to stay on and they really should be left there comfortably preferably with a bottle of wine. We get into less trouble that way. But more profoundly to me is the incredible echoes that we find here of the role and symbolism of hair in this story. It's not just that Korach means bald and Mrs. Korach teases him about it. As well it's not that Mrs. Ohn uncovers her hair. There are also echoes of themes that have to do with the parsha we read a few weeks ago that also have to do with hair. The parsha of the Sota woman that secluded herself with someone illicitly and was accused of being unfaithful and the juxtaposed parsha of the Nazir who vows to let his hair grow and to remain holy.

 Mrs. Korach makes the connection between Shimshon the famous Nazirite who dies with the Plishtim.  The name Ohn actually also means strength which is also a Shimshon theme and he seems concerned with his vow that he made. As well, we have a lot of Sota themes as well here. She uncovers her hair, she gives him wine which a Nazir is forbidden to partake in because that is what leads to the downfall of the Sota woman. She saves him from heading to what will be the burial ground for all of those that participated, just as Nazir has to stay away from impure places. As opposed to the Sota though she isolates herself alone with her husband and keeps everyone outside. There are even hidden themes if you really want to get carried away. The sha'ar gateway that she sits by to here tent also spells the word sa'ar hair and the ma'aser tithes that Mrs. Korach mentions also has the same letters as hair. Hmmm… What's the message here?

 Our sages tell us that these two women represent the verse in Mishlei/ Proverbs of King Solomon.

Mishlei (14:1) A wise woman builds her house”—this refers to the wife of Ohn ben Peles; “but the foolish woman pulls it down with her hands”—this refers to Korach’s wife.

 The difference between Ohn's wife and Korach's wife is their relationship with their house. A woman is known, in the words of our sages, as the akeret ha'bayit. She is the foundation of the home. She will build it and it is her vision to create that holy special place for the family to develop. The husband's role is the outside world. As we mentioned a few weeks ago in a different vein, hair is the extension of oneself outwards. It is us projecting ourselves out into the world.  A Levi has his hair shaved because it his role is to be the intermediary between the nation and Hashem. It's not about him. It's not his thoughts, his ideas, his influence. Rather it's all about serving as a clean, smooth connection between the Almighty and His nation. The rest of the Jewish men though could and should grow their hair as their focus is in the outside world, but they should get it cut every so often. A man shouldn't have his hair run wild, he can't be 24/7 running around, cutting deals, changing the world. He needs to cut his hair. He needs to come home. He needs to stop that ambition and realize that ultimately it is only from his home and its sanctity that he will be able to shine out Hashem's light in this world. If he is not grounded there, if his roots are not solid, if he is not bolstered by his akeret ha'bayit then ultimately he will be swallowed up.

 The Nazir is someone who's ambition and desire has run so amok that he requires a vow of abstinence to restrain himself. His hair growing wild is that symbol. Shimshon was born with that nature to conquer the entire Philistine army and enemy for the Jewish people. He required that vow his entire life to hold him in check. He was never blessed with a nice Jewish Kallah that could do that for him. Korach's wife looks out to the world rather than inside her home. Rather than focusing her energy in building a holy home for her husband to grow from she wants him to have hair. She wants him to keep his ma'aser. She views him as bald, and she doesn't recognize that it's because she hasn't provided him with the home and in doing so she destroys it.

Ohn's wife though is just the opposite. Her entire focus is creating that special place for just her and her husband and to stay away from the forces that are pulling him away. As opposed to the Sota who is running around outside. She remains in her home and secludes herself with her husband. Instead of her sipping wine with her friends and getting into trouble she has a nice cocktail with her husband. The vows that he made to be "out there" and "responsibilities" that pull him away from their home, from his base, she recognizes are destructive. Unlike the Nazir, he doesn't need a vow. He has her. She sits at the gate and uncovers her hair as she tells the world and those that seek to take her husband out of it that her home is sacred. No one will defile it by getting past her.

 We live in an upside down world today with many challenges. Despite all of the advancement of technology that should afford us more time to focus on our homes and family there seems to be so many more distractions and that pull us out of our homes. Even in worlds where the husbands are not sitting in Kollel, but are working full time, it is common for the woman as well to be a breadwinner. To be out there in the world that pulls us further and further away from the connection between a husband and wife, between parents and children, between building a home of peace where Hashem's divine presence shines out from. Klal Yisrael needs good smart women that will turn the world back on its head. That will direct that special potential our holy men have back inwards before it shines out to the world. May the two of you only strengthen one another. Build that home that we know has so much beautiful potential as you grow towards one another and from one another. But don't let Yonah grow too much. I still want to be the tallest.

Have a Chodesh Tamuz Tov and an very very happy Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Az der man iz tsu gut far der velt iz er shlekht farn vayb."– When a man is too good for the world, he's bad for his wife.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

32) The first among the following who was President of the State of Israel:

A) Chaim Herzog

B) Pinchas Sapir

C) Yitzhak Ben Zvi

D) Moshe Sharet

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 

https://youtu.be/X73AqkSBazA   – Joey Newcomb latest video Planting with faith in memory of those that died in Meron

https://youtu.be/H6BXEAofKy8 – Gad Elbaz's latest video Kol Yachol

 

https://youtu.be/yFvE8RuO5jc  - Funniest moments in Jewish Music… I didn’t think so..

 

https://youtu.be/fdgG6PNl58k  -  Eitan Katz's newest song "No Words" play again and again and again… beautiful… Pure Eitan.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

A More Holy Land – Parshat Korach- At its simplest level the story of Korach can be read as one of just bad politics. Moshe had been "in office" too long. He was corrupt. He was making appointments based on nepotism. He created a hierarchy that creates different castes in Israel. The 90% of the Jewish population will have to pay their maaser tithes and taxes while the

 "Ty-Kohens" sit back and reap all the sacrifices and free living. That was his platform in the Anti-Moshe campaign that he led. He declared a vision of all being equal, all being holy no need for different classes and castes. We are all created in the image of Hashem. He spoke to all of us on Sinai. Why is there a need for this whole bureaucracy?

 

He was obviously wrong. Moshe, the humblest of all men, didn't even want the job in the first place. He certainly received everything he did from Hashem. There's no question about that. So why didn't Hashem just clarify that? What was the need for the whole face off? The ground opening up? Judaism is not a democracy. It's a theocracy. We get our messages from Hashem. Korach would lose the election and then retire. What's with all the drama. Why couldn't this just be a failed political campaign.

 

The answer of course is because of the tremendous danger of Korach's campaign. See, Korach's campaign was arguably the greatest threat that our nation ever faced and perhaps still faces today. Korach's theological argument that all our holy and there are no tiers in Judaism, no levels, no "more chosen" by Hashem threatens the essence of our nation. For if one follows that argument to its end there really is no basis for the Jewish people and certainly no basis for Eretz Yisrael. If we accept that everyone is holy and that we are all chosen by Hashem because he spoke to all of us and the Kohanim and Levi'im do not have a higher more demanding level of holiness and purpose, then one can argue that there really is no uniqueness to the Jewish people over other nations. Hashem created us all in His image. We are all children of Hashem. We are all loved by Him. Why should the Jewish people have to live differently; be different and holier.

 

As well if that's the case than why should the land of Israel be any more special? The whole world is created by Hashem. Why should one land possess anymore holiness? Why should one nation- our nation- have any more right to it than any other nation? Why should Yerushalayim be chosen as a holy city to build a temple. Hashem could reveal Himself anywhere. Everything is all the same.

 

To a large degree it is that slippery slide that Korach presented in his simple platform that has caused more assimilation, more disconnection from Eretz Yisrael, and from our traditions than any other idea in our entire history. For the essence of the Jewish people is that there are differing roles and hierarchies in the world. In the first pre-flood world the idea of the world being equal without a chosen nation to serve as it's light resulted in anarchy of the worst kind until the point where the earth itself had been corrupted and had to be washed away.

The post- Noach world would be one where there would be one nation that would have a higher role. We, the descendants of Avraham were chosen for that role and it was then that a land was chosen for us to shine out this light to the entire world. Within our nation itself there would be a hierarchy that would keep us and inspire us to stay the straight and narrow holy path and they were the Kohanim and Levi'im. And there was one city and one temple from where they would connect us to Hashem from where we would be able to draw all close to. Korach who missed that message, who fought and campaigned against that message needed to be eliminated from the face of the earth as the generation of the flood were. Yet sadly his rhetoric still rings out by far too many of our brethren who missed this week's parsha and the terrible consequences of not firmly standing up and yelling Moshe Emes V'Soraso Emes- Moshe is true and his Torah and teachings our true. We are chosen, our land is chosen because we believe in that Torah and have been faithful to it for 3500 years. Without it all we have is Korach where there are no differences between a Jew and non- Jew and we have no right or claim to Eretz Yisrael or Yerushalayim.

 If that is true than the opposite is true as well. Those that live in Israel, that move to Israel, that settle our holy land because of the Torah are the ones that are in fact giving the greatest testimony to our faith in Hashem and the essence of our nation. It is perhaps why it is so essential to live here. It is perhaps why our sages tell us that those that don't it's like they don't have a god. Eretz Yisrael is team Moshe. Isn't that the team you want to be on?

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Avshalom's Plot- 840 BC – With Avshalom having returned to the graces of Dovid as we mentioned last week, he slowly built up his image and popularity among the people as Dovid's successor. Once he felt he had the love of the people his next step was to declare his kingship or perhaps even more surreptitiously have others declare it for him. His first step was to get Dovid's permission to go to Chevron to bring offerings that he claimed he had vowed to bring upon being returned and forgiven by his father. When Dovid gave his blessing Avshalom then got a letter from Dovid that permitted him to invite two dignitaries to accompany him. He used that invitation to then gather 200 of the leaders of the Jewish people making each of them feel special. Once he had the political leaders behind him the next stop was the spiritual leaders and for that he snagged Achitophel the teacher of Dovid.

 Achitofel was from the city of Gilon for which the modern neighborhood in Jerusalem right next to the tunnels to Gush Etzion are located is named after. There are those that suggest that this where the city was as there is an arab village Beit Jallah right next to it. Others however suggest that this is in fact the other biblical city of Galim mentioned in Yehoshuah and the real Gilo is in the Chevron Hills near Chalchul near a place called Hurbat Jallah. And that's your geography lesson for today, now back to the story.

 Achitofel was aware of the prophecy of Nasan that Dovid would suffer a rebellion from his family. With him supporting Avshalom then the people would be sure to follow. He then coordinated that they blow the shofar in chevron announcing the coronation of Avshalom as King of Chevron and at the same time shofar blasts would go out throughout Israel of the same. The hope would be that the people would make the connection that just as Dovid began his reign in Chevron so too Avshalom his successor would as well. And so it went.

 Word got back to Dovid and Yerushalayim and thus 37 years of his kingship came to an abrupt halt with the rebellion of his son. Dovid will make his comeback soon and we will discuss it next week. But the sin of Batsheva will continue to haunt Dovid for the rest of his life.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE MARRIAGE JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 

Marriage Tips

1) Chasan, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: “Yes dear”.

 

2) Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

 

3) “Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.”

 

My son wanted to know what it's like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

 

It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it. He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in.

 

I don’t really mind sleeping on the couch. It’s like living my childhood fantasies about the Wild West – including the angry mama bear nearby.

 

What to give a man who’s got everything? A woman. She’ll tell him how everything works.

 

Chanie and Rivky were talking.  "Does your Chasan have a stutter?"

 "Yes," said  Rivky "but no worries. Once we’re married, I’ll be the one doing the talking."

 

Moishie got a call telling him his wife has been taken to the hospital.
“Oyyy, how is she?!”
he asked.
“I’m sorry to say she’s critical,”
said the nurse.
“What is she complaining about again?!”

 

If it's true that girls will probably marry men who resemble their fathers, it would explain why so many mothers cry at weddings.

 

Brachie turned to her husband Berel and said “I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!”
“But honey, what about our child?”
“What child?!”
“Oh, so you’re not pregnant…"

 

Optimist- A man who leaves the engine running when his wife says she’s “just going to run inside the shop to grab a bottle of milk.”

 

Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.

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Answer is C- I don't think I could name all of Israel's Presidents of Israel. It's really an inconsequential position in Israel. But I know that the first was Chaim Weizman and the second was Yitzchak Ben Zvi. So being that Weizman wasn't a choice the answer had to be Ben Zvi. As well I knew that Sharret was a prime minister so generally (besides Peres- who really was just an  interim prime minister for a few moments) the two roles don’t' usually cross over. Herzog, the son of the Rav Yitzchak Halevi Herzog who was the first chief Rabbi was a president in the 80's and his son now just became the 11th president. Sapir was never much although   So the score now is 23 for Rabbi Schwartz and 8 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.