Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile
Showing posts with label yisro. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yisro. Show all posts

Thursday, February 5, 2026

Mountain Calls- Parshat Yisro- 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

February 6th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 16 19th of Shvat 5786

 

Parshat Yisro

 Mountain Calls

 

I'm on a train now. It's a long train ride, so that should give you a clue where I am. Israel doesn't really have train rides that long. Although they do have charging ports for my computer, which the train I'm on does not. So, if you get only half an E-Mail this week, blame it on the Europe. It's hard to write this here though. It's a lot of mesirus nefesh. See, outside my window is the Alps. The magnificent, glorious snowcapped Swiss Alps that supposedly it's said that Rav Shamshon Raphael Hirsch was quoted as saying that when he comes to Shamayim they were going to ask him if he saw the glorious Alps. According to tradition he even traveled from Germany to Switzerland to see them when he was in his 70's. I didn't want to wait until 70, so a convenient cousin's Zurich bar mitzva got me over here a bit earlier. And so here I am trying to write my E-Mail with this glorious world just passing me by out the window, as I try to focus on my screen and you… So, pardon in advance if I have more spelling and grammar mistakes than usual… You have no idea what I'm passing up by even just writing this thing.

 

Now, I know some of you are already ragging on me, about how can I leave Eretz Yisrael? Is this same Rabbi Schwartz that bashes everyone each week about visiting or living in other places. Didn't he just write a song about that (check out below if you missed it…). Knocking down the Kerister/Uman/Aushwitz people. The Africa/Bahamas/Cancun folks… And here I am in Shvietz! Talk about hypocrisy. Talking the talk, but not walking the walk. I'm fine with that. I plead guilty. I'll bang al cheit for that this Yom Kippur. But let me tell you something. I miss home. As beautiful and magnificent as Switzerland and the Alps are. It ain't home. It's not the place where my soul is soaring or has been longing to return to. But it is pretty cool and amazing, I'll be honest.

 

Like all of my vacations, or the truth is my life. The highlight of my day is really getting up before dawn and learning. It's quiet. It's peaceful. I have my coffee and breather first on the porch while the stars are still out and the morning light/ dawn is slowly starting to rise. That's my hour. That's when I most feel Hashem. And it's usually the only quiet moment of my day, week and month. That's an even more special time for me when I'm on vacation. When I don't have to go to work that day or sometimes even week. It's when I'm not home for Shabbos and don't even have to worry or think about my sermons or davening for congregation. That's when it's really my Olam Haba time. It's my me and Hashem bonding time. It's when I truly feel at peace.

 

The past two mornings in Arosa, Switzerland was really just like that, but even better. I got up to the still starlit sky over the the snowcapped glorious mountains right outside my porch. As I gazed at them in awe and wonder, feeling so small and so close to their Creator, I had a few thoughts. All of course connected to this week's parsha, of course. All of course the essence of our being and of our nation. You know, I would never offer you anything less.

The first thought was about why the Torah wasn't given on these mountains. I mean, this is a chasuna/ wedding between Hashem and Klal Yisrael. This is the Chupa moment. Why is Hashem doing a takana wedding in the Sinai desert on a much smaller and less glamorous hill. He needs to get a new wedding planner, I think. To be honest, I think some takana subsidized wedding halls in Lakewood are probably proportionately closer to the fancy wedding halls, then Har Sinai is to the Alps.  Now it wasn't like He was on a budget or something, or that He even chinsed out on special effects. Thunder Lightening…very very frightening… for me… for me… Sorry just rhapsodizing a bit…. It seems He was going all out on special effects. So why go low on the hall or the hill- excuse the pun?

 

The answer that most of us will give to that question really hasn't changed much since we first heard the question (although not nearly as creatively) in kindergarten. And the answer is that little Har Sinai was very humble, and Hashem wanted to show that humility is important for getting the Torah. It's a good answer. It's a good reason not to make a fancy wedding as well. Even a fancy takana wedding. Humility, modesty, are all good Torah traits. We should take a lesson from that. But at the same time, we're not in kindergarten anymore. We've graduated. It's time to reexamine the question and perhaps find something deeper. Because to be honest. Hashem is glorious. He wanted us to be in awe. He wanted us to remember this moment for ever. So why not go all out. He was doing so anyways. It's like a guy that makes a wedding in one of those old shlocky halls and then has a 50-piece band and Shwekey, Leiner, Fried and MBD entertaining. Either you're going all out. Or you're not.

 

On that same note, I had another question standing out there in the morning under those mountains. How come they're not in Eretz Yisrael. I mean it is Hashem's favorite place on Earth. It's the land that has everything. That He keeps telling us is good. That no place else has everything like we do. Not their fruits, not their hills, valleys, not the Torah, not their tefillos and certainly not their Falafel. In Israel, no self-respecting Israeli- although that's kind of an oxymoron unfortunately, will ever buy a falafel that isn't straight out of the oil pan and has been sitting in a metal bowl. So why don't we have Alps here either. Don't get me wrong, we have the Chermon, it's glorious and magnificent, but it ain't the Alps. So why not put them here. Why should losers like myself, have to leave our Holy Land to travel on an airplane where they speak some German sounding language, "Achtung Juden", to see these wonderous awe snowcapped inspiring peaks?

 

To be honest, as I sat out here looking at these peaks, this morning, I had this incredible thought. I felt like I was looking at spiritual pornography- to be quite graphic. I was checking out this beautiful snow-capped woman walking down the street, but she wasn't my wife. She was pretty. She was beautiful. Her glory was calling to me to check her out. I even understood why some people would get sucked into that. But I felt like you do, sometimes when you pass someone like that on the street, that perhaps isn't dressed so modest, that I needed to avert my eyes. It wasn't my wife. It's not the mountain that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, or to be honest even have any real quality time with. That mountain is pretty and even awesome to look at, but can she make chulent? Can she fulfill me. Can she help me become the person I want to become? Is she someone that I want to have a home with? Build a family with? Because again, to be brutally honest, life, what I'm looking for, and ultimately achieving the happiness and completion I want for myself, is a lot more than having a pretty, even gorgeous thing to look at and show off.

 

It's that thought, that I believe keeps most men from straying, and even the ones that do that ultimately bring them back with full regret for their indiscretion. It's why we turn our eyes to not get sucked into that honey trap. We know it's wrong for us. It's the call of the Moabite women from their tents, to come in an get a quick bargain, that Bilam used on us. Yet, at the same time, why doesn't Hashem bring that mountain to His land? Why not have those beautiful mountains of Switzerland, glorify His own living room? Why have these spiritually scantily dressed pornographic pictures of other places around the world, like Cancun, the Bahamas, Spain, South America, Africa, Miami and Orlando filling up Jewish Frum Magazines for Pesach vacations, when the only place where we all know He wants us to be for the upcoming holiday is in Yerushalayim together with Him?

 

And I was thinking and pondering this deep question, I believe that is precisely the answer. The answer is that is precisely why most people prefer Pesach in their home rather then these exotic locales, or certainly regular Shabbosim. Even the ones that go away, and I'm really not judging here, I understand and even appreciate the beauty and niceness and convenience of vacation, of getting away to someplace different, of not having to "make" Yom Tov. But even the ones that go away, that wander and stray. They all say the same thing when they come back. "There's no place like home". Nobody makes their house into a Pesach hotel. Nobody makes Cancun in their backyard. Nobody imports the Alps across their patio window. They're fine with a picture of it on the wall. But they want their home to be home. To be haymish. To be theirs. To be reality.

 

Yidden, don't have fancy full-time live-in chefs making us gourmet exotic "tastes just like Chametz" cakes and pizzas in their home for Pesach. We don't have Sushi chefs and grill masters living with us all the time preparing us these exotic world-class meals and hotel breakfasts at home. We have Mom's cooking. We have Bubby's kugel recipe, we have Tante Chana's knaydel soup, and Savti's sponge cake and Totty's special chulent. We have food whose main ingredient isn't some exotic spice, rather it's the love that's put into it. It's an ingredient that no culinary school will ever be able to compete with. It's what gives Mama's cooking food the flavor of Mannah, that no matter what you taste or imagine, or what shape or dish it is, will still have that same holy flavor. It's why Shabbos food always tastes better. It's why nothing comes close to Mom's kitchen.

 

Do you know what the message of Har Sinai is that Hashem wanted us to appreciate and why He chose that less glorious mountain for the locale of the giving of the Torah. He wanted us to understand that we don't need the Alps to get the Torah. It ain't in any fancy locale. The thunder, the lightening, the mind-blowing revelation isn't in Cancun or in the Alps. It's not Ba'Shamayim and it's not me'eiver la'yam. It's on a small mountain top in wilderness. It's finding and seeing the beauty and real glory that comes from within and that's built and emanates from that smaller more attainable little hilltop that we're married to, rather than the more exotic one you see in the magazine. It's understanding and appreciating the warmth and beauty of a backyard wedding, or the one that years ago they did in the local shul courtyard in the shtetl rather than some destination wedding, where nobody really cares much about the bride and the groom, but rather are just checking out the awesomeness of the beaches, the locale and the sand, the sun, the slopes and the ski and all of the other local attractions and amenities. That's Har Sinai. That's where Hashem wanted us to get married.

 

But there's something deeper as well. I saw an incredible Chasam Sofer. He notes that Hashem tells Moshe in the prelude and days before our wedding on Mt. Sinai that He will lift us up carry us to bring us to Him on Kanfei Nesharim- which is mistranslated as the wings of eagles, but is in fact biblically and more accurately Griffins or vultures, to be more crude. He asks why it is that Hashem doesn't use a more politically and spiritually correct kosher bird, like a Yonah- a dove or pigeon that Bnai Yisrael is always faithfully compared to throughout the prophets and specifically in Shir Ha'Shirim- the song of songs, the ultimate love song of us and Hashem. His answer is because the Nesher is noted as the most unkosher of birds. It has all four signs of birds that are not kosher (predator, no extra toe, no crop, and a non-peelable gizzard). What Hashem is telling us, he writes, is that even if we are as non-kosher as a Nesher, He will bring us to Him. He loves us. We're His special, treasured, chosen nation. He made our wedding on Mt. Sinai, that small little haymish hill, to show us that He doesn't need the Alps. He's not looking for us to be the Alps. He doesn't need our fancy Beketche… to quote the recent song going around. All He needs and want is you. Is us in all our human glory, frailties, pimples and even tumah. Hashem dwells with us even in that state. He can lift us up and bring us to Him even then. He loves us even when we're not dressed up all fancy for a wedding or spent two hours having our hair and makeup done. He loves us and is married to us in our house robe and slippers.

 

He made that wedding for us and gave us that Torah even in Chutz La'aretz. He wanted to show us that even there He's willing to come to us and take us in. But he preceded that giving of the Torah with the message, that this wasn't just going to be just some fling and something that we just experience out there isolated and alone in the wilderness. It was a commitment to come and build a home with Him in His country. In our place. In the place where heaven will always meet earth.

 

Maybe just maybe that's why in Eretz Yisrael, the original Tziyonim dropped the levush and wear sandals and shorts and kova tembels. In Chutz La'aretz perhaps you need the beketche. In your living room, you don't need to be dressed up like the Alps. Our wedding with Hashem and the glory that we experienced on our exodus from Egypt was when we were on the 49th level of impurity. We weren't pretty. We had one mitzva in our hand. We sacrificed the god of Egypt, we took their lamb, and we roasted it and put its blood outside our doorpost and said we want something different in our house. Hashem saw that and skipped over all of our past sins and scooped us up and brought us to Him in that state. When we were in the gutter. Because He wasn't looking for the Alps or some exotic sin-free nation. He was looking for a wife. A treasure. A nation that will always be connected and one with Him. One that may not always be knock-out head-turning gorgeous, but when that He knew He could never live without or be revealed from anywhere else.

 

We read the parsha of the giving of the Torah, the week after Tu Bi'Shvat, the new year for the trees of Israel, the holiday of our land. As well our eyes already turn towards the upcoming month of Adar and the holiday of Purim. The sin and ultimate decree and perhaps even the message of Purim, our sages tell us, is that we were ne'heneh mei'seudaso shel Achashveirosh- we enjoyed and relished in the glatt kosher meatboards and beautiful exotic feast of Achashveirosh. We liked it in galus. We thought we had made it there. It was beautiful. It was convenient. It was even spiritual- kind of. But it was spiritual pornography. It was a bedatz eidah chareidis kosher magazine with perhaps no pictures of women in it, but with siren calls to mountains and places that were far, far, away from the Bais Ha'Mikdash. We were using the Bais Ha'Mikdash vessels Hashem gave us; the longing for ruchniyos, the yearning for holiness and for connection to Him, and we were knocking on harlot's doors in the spiritually bereft shtetlach of Shushan, Kerister, Uman and Lakewood, and yes even the Swiss Alps. We had Tu Bishvat seudos there and spoke about the kabbalistic meanings of the fruits on our fancy well bug checked fruit platters. But we lost sight of the good land and our home that Hashem was waiting for us to return to and come back and eat them with Him in His home-cooked- haymish gi'bakt kitchen.

 

So, He brought Haman upon us to remind us. He always does. He first sent us a few angry text messages and warnings. He even had kidnapped daughters, like Queen Esther, who He took along with so many other Jewish girls. He raised the level of anti-semitism up and up and up. Till we realized that perhaps Shushan, as beautiful and as kosher and as spiritual as it may've seemed wasn't really our wife. Wasn't who we should be looking to build a home with or in. That they will turn on us. That they really don't love us and won't be faithful to us. That like that Moabite woman sitting in the door of her tent calling to us, are only there for our money. To drain us. To distance us from our home. From Sinai. They're not there to complete us, they're there to consume us. To nullify and erase us. To make us feel small in front of their beautiful Alps. But never to build a home together with us.  That's the story of Purim. That's how it all turned around. That's how we came home. That's where we are coming to today as well.

 

My flight back to Eretz Yisrael is scheduled for Sunday. I don't really want to fly home on Swiss Air. Too many goyim on the flight. They didn't even have a kosher meal for me. I'm ready to leave today on Hashem's wings. I've seen enough. I want to come home. I saw a fantastic story about Rav Kook who upon returning from America in 1924 from a fundraising mission together with Rav Moshe Mordechai Epstien of Slobodka, and the Kovna Rav Rav Shapira, on behalf of Torah institutions in Eretz Yisrael. It said that as he approached Shaar Ha'Gai coming closer to Yerushalayim he became discerningly more and more elated and emotional. He gazed out at the beautiful hills of Yerushalayim and turned to those in the car and said.

 

"In America, as well I saw owering mountains all around- the handiwork of Hashem. But those mountains were silent; they did not speak to us. These holy mountains of Eretz Yisrael though speak and call out to us. They speak clearly and their lucid voices enter our ears, effortlessly penetrating  to the depths of our heart and souls."

 

I heard that silence in the Alps. I long for the music of the hills of my home. May we all soon hear that song.

                                                     

Have a Mountainous Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" A barg mit a barg kennen zikh nit tsuzamen kumen, ober a mentsh mit a mentsh kennen.- Mountains cannot meet, but men can.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/eretz-tu-bishvat - Hot off the Press! My Latest New Fun Release!! Eretz Yisrael… you gotta listen till the end to the fun surprise English part…

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vatem  - This week's parsha- the promise of wings of Nesharim- returning to Hashem. My incredible moving and awesome kanfei nesharim composition. Once again Dovid Lowy vocals and arrangements


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWrTZqv7HvM&list=OLAK5uy_l49sRBCclXCczipzxo32OM_Uf8Pd2Vork    – And the Last Shwekey's  Shabbos Drop -Pizmonin- For all my Syrian friends


https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/torah-hakedosha  – I composed this special song upon my father's Sefer Torah dedication to our Shul. The words recall to us the giving of the Torah on Sinai and our prayer "to" the Torah to beseech Hashem on our behalf. Beautiful!


https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vzakeynu-lirot-banim  – And of course, this fun composition of mine that the great Yitz Berry did for me, upon the birth of my first grandchild. That Hashem merit us with seeing children and grandchildren who follow in the ways of Torah and Mitzvos V'Zakeinu


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

19. The cluster of the world's northernmost Doum Palm is located near the city of ­         _______


Which of the following statements about the Bahá'í Faith is true?

A. A large community of followers of the Bahá'í Faith currently resides in the State of

Israel

B. The Bahá'í Faith originated in Shi'ite Islam in Egypt in the Middle Ages

C. The Bahá'í Faith advocates universal ideas of equality and justice

D. The Bahá'í Faith is widespread among patriarchal communities that oppose

modernity


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

The Return - 370 BC- And it was in the 71st year since Nevuchadnezzar had first started the exile of the Jewish people from Israel with the conquest and exile of Yehoyakim, Koresh the new King of the empire of Persia allowed and even assisted the Jews to return to Israel to rebuild the Temple. He and Darius were aware of the prophecy that was given at Belshatzar's feast and the writing on the wall. They understood that the reason why the Jewish people were exiled was because of their sins, but after 70 years that bill was paid. And thus they agreed at the beginning of their battle with Babylonia that they would allow the Jews to return. Darius only lived for one year, but on his death bed he called in Cyrus/ Koresh and commanded him to keep that promise.


Now our sages, tell us that this declaration and return of Koresh, really was only phase one. The real 70 years wasn't going to be up until the conclusion of the story of Purim. In fact this return, like the "First Aliya" to Israel in the 1800's really flopped with many returning to the diaspora. As well the earlier returns to Jerusalem, of Donna Gracia in the 1500's the students of the Baal Shem and the Gra in the 17 and 18 hundreds, as well as of Reb Yehuda Ha'Levi and the return to rebuild the Churva shul all pretty much flopped. Many died, many returned. The time wasn't ripe. The land didn't respond.


This goes back to almost every attempt at return until modern times which is truly miraculous. This starts with this first return of Zerubavel, the son of Shaltiel, the son of the former King Yehoyachin who was born in exile in jail in Persia. Why does Hashem give us all these false starts?


Our sages explain fascinatingly enough, it's because Hashem saw He couldn't wait too much longer. We were getting too comfortable. The Jews were assimilating. And a little bit longer there would have never been anyone to take out. That would be willing to answer that shofar blast. So Hashem started an early redemption. 42,000 went up with Zerubavel. There were great scholars and Rabbis and leaders and fascinatingly enough even wealthy people joined the team. They set our roots back up there. They created the foundation. It will take a few more years. It will take Haman and Purim for this work to finish. To pick up the pieces, where as we will see this failed beginning started. But the taste of the redemption begins now. We're on the way home.


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE MOUNTAIN JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him off the Alps.

 

God created the first Swiss and asked him:

"What do you want?"

"Mountains," replied the Swiss.

God created mountains for the Swiss and asked him, "What else do you want?"

"Cows," said the Swiss.

God created cows for the Swiss. The Swiss milked the cows, tasted the milk and asked, "Will you taste, dear God?"

The Swiss filled a cup with milk and handed it to God. Dear God took the cup, drank it and said, "The milk is really quite good. What more do you want?"

"1.20 Swiss Franc."

 

Rabbi Schwartz returns to Israel. My congregants turn to me and ask

" So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?"

Me: Yes, it was amazing.

Them; Did you enjoy the views?

Me: Mmm...No.

You: Why?

Me: The Mountains blocked the view.

 

Hashem was showing off the mountains he made to his angels.He showed them the Alps, the Himalayas, and the Pyrenees.

Impressed, the first angel said "that's nice, got any more?"

Hashem replied, "oh yeah, Andes.

 

Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains? Mountains peak.

 

What is green and glides down a mountain? A skiwi

 

I like mountains. But volcanoes are ash holes. (sorry I couldn't resist…)

 

Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill areas.

 

While on vacation in Switzerland I see people my age out there climbing mountains, skiing and ziplining and here I am feeling good about myself, because I managed to get my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

 

A cloud, a lake and a mountain are having a big argument, they are all yelling claiming each one is the greatest form of nature alive. To settle this, they come up with a little challenge: Who can kill the most humans with a single action.

The cloud goes first. With all of it's cloudy might, it clumps up all the energy possibly and it produces the most majestic form of lightning you could ever imagine. It travels furiously towards the ground and it savagely ruptures a man in half and burns his remains into a handful of ashes.

The lake goes second, knowing it was at a disadvantage it waits patiently until there's a full moon and a high wind so the odds are slightly in its favor, and it manages to produce a very decently sized wave that drags and kills a dozen of college students that were lake swimming that night.

Finally it's the turn of the mighty mountain. He won in a landslide.

 

Did ya hear about the pilot that flew in to a mountain? He had a bad altitude.

 

Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.

 

Why did the girl break off with the frostbitten mountain climber? She was lack-toes intolerant..

 

A blizzard hit a remote prison way up in the mountains, the faculty were all evacuated but there was no time to save all the inmates. After the weather calmed down, the roads were snowed over, and would be impassable until the thaw come springtime. Rescuers were flown in to find the the inmates had all perished due to the unbearable cold. It seemed the only think left to do was to remove the bodies to give closure to the families of those involved. It would be a great expense to clear the roads, or could the deceased prisoners be able to be flown out?

When interviewed afterwords, the head coordinator was asked about the logistics of the operation. After considering all options, the choice was made to airlift the bodies after weighing the frozen cons.

 

Why did the chicken lay its egg on the mountain? It wanted to make an egg-roll.

 

*******************************

The answer to this week's question is C–Back in the game! I got this one right. The Bahai is a fun religion. It's a breakoff of Islam in the 19th century by this guy Baluha or something. They felt that Islam had lost its way and really the religion is one of tikkun olam- l'havdil. Bringing all religions together and planting gardens all over the world. The Muslims of course killed them, they don't like competition much. It originated in India where they're mainly based. But their head was held and died in prison in Akko. Which made it holiest place in the world for them, and which they daven facing. According to Wikipideia they're the fastest growing religion based on proportion after ultra Orthodox Judaism… yup that's cool! The Doum trees in Eilat are the most and quite magnificen it's where Rabin signed peace accords with Hussein of Jordan if I remember correctly. So got em both right and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having a 13.5 points and the MOT having 5.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.



Friday, February 14, 2025

Eagle One has Landed- Parshat Yisro Tu Bishvat- 2025 5785

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

February 14th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 16 16th of Shevat 5785

 

Parshat Yisro

Eagle One has Landed.

The man is really serious. Gaza will become the new French Riviera. Terrorists will be expelled. The turn-turn-it-into-a-parking-lot joke that lots of people said, and that I never thought should be a joke, well it looks like the Donald has been reading my E-Mails or at the least watching my statuses. See, you’re in good company. Except whereas I said “parking lot”, he heard amusement park. Stay tuned for Gaza Disney, with fun underground tunnel roller coaster rides, fireworks every night and “it was a small world” with Bibi Mouse and Donald Duck leading the parade.

The crazy thing is that Israel really doesn’t know what to do with themselves with all this love and support coming our way. See, we’re kind of used to the whole being a victim thing. Yes, even 75 year of statehood and “Never Again”ing it and brave Israeli army yada yada had not knocked the galus mentality “whole-world-wants-to-kill-us” and we-better-not-upset-the-goyim mentality. Unless you live in Lakewood or Williamsburg of course where of course you feel that you’ve already been redeemed and own congress and the court system and are the “biggest tax-payers” around and are entitled to do whatever you want in the medina shel chesed Hashem has blessed you with living in…Shh… be quiet Hamas protestor down the block… Ouch…

But here in Israel that’s not and has never been the case. Despite the fact that we’ve won quite a few wars- miraculously. Despite the fact that we’ve flourished. We’ve developed the country. We clearly have everything that we have accomplished in such a short time here because we’ve worked hard, we haven’t stopped and we’re an incredible nation that’s out to help and build the world, and Hashem kind of loves us…usually. We still feel that we’re not worthy. We still feel that we have to answer to the goyim. We still feel that we’re really not entitled to anything. Certainly not to the entire land of Israel. Certainly not to the right to wipe out our enemies. We can’t even hit them with tariffs.

We feel we have to every day defend our behavior. We’re so pathetic despite all of our songs about Jewish pride and the so much we have to be proud of. We’re great and the best at making museums about Holocausts, Memorials for fallen heroes, for dead children, for murdered soldiers. Really cool and shticky monuments and memorials too. Some with good movies, others with virtual reality glasses and others with light and sound shows with real smoke coming up from blown up bunkers where Jews were killed.  But winning wars and celebrating the destruction of our enemies and building amusement parks on top of their graves and destroyed cities… that’s never been our strong point.

Quite the opposite in fact. We apologize. We’re so sorry we won. Of course, we’ll rebuild your churches, your mosques, we’ll even declare them protected holy sites. Here’s half of Mearas Hamachpela. Here’s the Temple Mount. The tomb of Yosef in Shechem, and take the whole West Bank while you’re at it. We’ll even arrest and bulldoze any Jewish kids that try to plant a vineyard there.

Sure you can keep your golden pimple. We won’t even daven there. We’ll stay down here on the bottom by the burnt remains of our retaining wall and mourn the Temple that we once had that you guys destroyed. We’ll give you equal rights in the land that you threw us out of and would do so again tomorrow. You even unabashedly say that that’s what you still plan on doing to us. October 7th the sequel. River to the Sea Part II.  

We’ll make you Supreme Court justices. We’ll give you voting rights. We’ll even throw 14-year-old kids living on hill-tops and that are settling the land who seem to be the only ones with any brains or sense of true Jewish pride, meaning and appreciation of any historical significance in this county, into jail for even suggesting that we actually fulfill the Divine mandate we were given to settle in the land Hashem has given us and destroy anyone that stands in our way. Yeah… We’re really bad at winning. At being who Hashem raised us and brought us up to become.

This is not a new problem. This is perhaps the oldest problem of our nation. In fact it is even the prelude to us becoming the nation of Hashem. It’s the last thing the Torah tells us before He chose us and gave us the Torah. The blueprint and map of what we are here to accomplish. The book and the mandate and pathway to us becoming the “mamleches kohanim” -the nation that will establish a homeland that will shine the light of Hashem out to the world where all will recognize His glory. Our glory. The parsha of this week’s Torah reading and perhaps the one with the most essential Torah narrative of our role in the world is called and named after… would you believe it? A goy. Yisro. Do you know why? Because Hashem knows that we probably couldn’t and don’t have the guts enough or self-respect or confidence to do it on our own. We need Yisro to tell us how great we are before we actually believe we are worthy.

You know what’s funny? Do you know what the name Yisro means? More. Rashi tells us that the hidden meaning behind that name or spiritual essence is that he was called thus because it was in his merit that an extra parsha was added in the Torah. The parsha of the establishment of righteous judges. Judges without fear. Judges that will have the guts to stand up to evil. That will be inspired only by the word of Hashem. That won’t bow to societal pressure. That are concerned more about being spiritually correct rather than politically.

The name of the parsha that this goy added is meaningfully called V’ata Techezeh-And you shall see. Open up your eyes. Take a look. See… Take off the blinders. Understand why you’re here. Look at the miracles. Look where Hashem has brought you. See how he destroyed Amalek. How He beepered them. How He split the Sea. How He gave you the Manna. Do you get it? We need a goy to tell us that. Thus the parsha of the Torah and of us becoming a nation is called Yisro, after the goy that saw and came and directed us on the path.

But is that really true? Is that really what happened. Here, comes the amazing part my friends and pay close attention. We have a rule, a bizarre, incongruous rule that is really a spiritual oxymoron. It’s called eilu v’eilu divrei Elokim Chayim- that whenever we have a debate or a dispute between our sages in the Mishna or Talmud, Beit Shammai and Beit Hillel, Rabbi Akiva and Rebbi Gamliel, or even Rashi and Tosafos. There are truths to both sides of the debate. They both represent the word of Hashem Both opposing views are correct. It’s like the joke about the couple that comes to the Rabbi and she gives her complaints and the Rabbi tells her that she’s correct. The husband then gives his complaints and the Rabbi again turns to the man this time and says that he’s correct. The Rabbi’s wife is listening and objects. How can they both be right? The Rabbi turns to her and says that she is also right! Well, when it comes to the story of Yisro’s arrival, like all Jewish things there is a debate as well.And they’re both correct. They’re both truth.

Rashi, the Ibn Ezra and many of the commentaries that generally go with the simplest explanation actually read the story of Yisro as being a non-chronological one. He doesn’t come to Moshe until after the giving of the Torah. They follow the Talmudic opinions that understand that the reason he came is because he heard about the giving of the Torah. He wanted to be part of our nation. He was drawn to us and our mission. We inspired him.

The Ramban, Saadia Gaon and others however read the story chronologically and suggest that Yisro came before the Torah was given. He heard about our war against Amalek, our victory, the splitting of the sea. He was inspired by Hashem and the love and all He does for our nation and that drew him to our people. Fascinatingly enough, Rashi, although he goes with the opinion that Yisro came afterwards however understands that the Torah is relating to us that he came before, to relate to us that his coming wasn’t necessarily motivated as much by the giving of the Torah but rather it was because of the miracles. He came because of Hashem. He wasn’t going to wait until we caught on to how special and treasured we are. He figured that might be a waste of time perhaps. Rather he came to be our “eyes”. To show us how special we are and how much Hashem has set us up to accomplish.

Eilu V’eilu Divrei Elokim Chayim- both of these stories are true. There’s a lesson. A possible future. A reality that we were in then and that we are in today as well with two alternate and perhaps even opposite roads. Do we need the goy to see that we are chosen? That we have a job to do. A land to conquer. A world to light up with the truth. An Amalek to wipe out. Do we need Yisro to come and be our eyes. By the way… What’s the name of the secretary of State that just came to Israel and said we should build a Bais Ha’Mikdash? Rubi-o. Sounds like Yisr-o. What does the word Rubiya mean? Anyone remember that word from our Rosh Hashana black eyed peas? It means more. Yisro. One more added parsha. She’yirbu zechuyaseinu… That our merits should increase.  C’mon.. this whole E-Mail was worth the read just for that… 😊.

This Shabbos and every Shabbos before we bentch and thank Hashem for the Eretz Ha’Tovah the great incredible land that He has promised us and our forefathers that we have been privileged to return to. That we ask Hashem to have mercy on us, on Tzion, on Jerusalem and rebuild the Temple. We sing and recite a Psalm.

Shir Ha’Maalos- A song of Ascents- of Aliya

 B’shuv Hashem es shivas tzion- When Hashem returns the captives of Tzion… our nation exiled for so long… our hostages.

Ha’yinu k’cholmim- we’re dreaming. We’re sleeping. We don’t get it… We don’t see what’s happening right before our eyes. We’re missing what’s happening. We think it’s just about getting out of Egypt. Out of the Holocaust. It’s a national homeland where nobody will bother us. Like America, but in Hebrew with falafel and shwarma too. We don’t realize that we have a job to do. A house to build for Hashem. A light to shine out to the world from there.

Oz yimaleh schok pinu u’lshoneinu rina- then our mouths will fill with laughter and our tongues with song. We laugh. We’re happy. We sing. The job is not done yet. It’s a nice dream. We think it’s over. We got them back. We’ve returned. We have our State. Thank You Hashem… We think the dream has come true. But we’re missing the boat. That’s not what this about. We need Yisro to tell us something. We need Rubio. We need the goyim to be our eyes. Because 2000 years of exile, of persecution, of fear and subjugation under them has blurred our eyesight.

Oz yomru ba’goyim higdil Hashem la’asos im eileh- The goyim will then get up and say. Hashem has done something great and big for this nation. They heard about the war against Amalek. They heard about the Manna. They heard about our hostages coming home. They understand more than us, that this about something much greater. Part of making America Great Again is first making us great again. They look towards us and ask us if we’re still dreaming or are we going to wake up. Will we just continue paying lip and tongue service to what is happening? Is it just something that fills our mouth and tongues with great new catchy songs? Or will we be truly happy. Will we take it to the next level and bring the simchas olam to the world as we’re supposed to. As we were chosen to. Do we have the strength to say

Higdil Hashem L’aasos Imanu- Hashem has made us great. He gave us the most important role in the world. We have a job to do. A message to scream out to the world. A land to liberate and rid of evil. A world to uplift. A home to return to and dwell in. Do we have the strength to tell the world what justice looks like? What the vengeance of Hashem and the Jewish people entails. What the borders of our country need to be. Can we truly bring the world to understand that we understand that our job is not merely to be free and to be live under our fig tree, grape vine around the corner from the Makolet and kosher pizza store, but it’s to truly bring the world to simchas olam-

Hayinu smaychim- to be truly happy…

The Geula is coming my friends. This past week on Tu’Bishvat I was riding on these cool EZ Rider bikes with my tourists through the ruins of the city of Caesarea, a city that our sages tell us that will be in ruins as Jerusalem will be rebuilt. Along our ride, we passed by the Roman theater where the great Rabbi Akiva, who laughed while the foxes came out of the ruins because he saw in the destruction already the seeds of redemption. Ha’zorim B’dimah- the fields of Jerusalem that were sown with seeds of tears, he saw already 2000 years ago, that b’rina yiktzoru- that they will be harvested in song.

Rabbi Akiva was killed by them there in that theater with the words Hashem Echad on his lips. He had started the first Messianic movement, too early, when he rebelled against them with his army of Bar Kochva. He wasn’t dreaming. He did what needed to be done. He wasn’t just davening and or even learning for Mashiach and the redemption. He went out to fight and bring it. 2000 years late Yaakov Shweky sings Vehi She’amda in that same theater and Shema Yisrael with our return. Rome is gone. The tears that were planted have begun to bear fruit and our lips began to be full of song.

We continued on our ride on Tu Bi’Shvat and passed families with children planting trees. It was Tu B’Shvat. In Israel we don’t just eat dry buktzer/carob and dried figs and sing about shkeydiyah porachat-. We’re not dreaming. We’re planting. They weren’t all wearing Yarmulkas. Yet even the most secular here know that this is a holiday of redemption. Of planting. Of settling the land. Tears came to my eyes just watching these beautiful yiddishe kinderlach with their shovels and saplings. Ha’zorim B’Dima. Throughout Israel at the many sites where our children fell, the burnt car park, the Nova Festival site, Sderot trees were planted this year. We plant with tears. We plant with tears right after the Goyim tell us that we are great. We need to be nosey alumosuv- we need to carry our burdens, but as well we need to be alim- we need to be strong. We need to gather our strength.

With Tu B’Shvat the sap has risen. Purim is around the corner. Amalek is just waiting to be wiped out. Maybe even by 12:00 this Shabbos afternoon, if we listen to the Goyim. Pesach is around the corner. The month of redemption and return is here and coming fast. Do you know what the Presidential plane that Rubio arrived on is called? Eagle One. Kanfey Nesharim has landed and Goyim are telling us we are meant to be “great again” and meant to be even greater. Are we ready to stop dreaming?

Have a explosively fantastic Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Fun fartrikenteh baimer kumen kain paires nit arois.”.- No fruit falls from withered trees.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

8. Israel has implemented its "good fence" policy with which bordering country? ______

Which settlement among the "11 points" established in 1946 was within the territory of today's

Gaza Strip?

A. Urim

B. Kfar Darom

C. Nirim

D. Kfar Aza

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vatem   - The words, the promise, our mandate… from this week’s parsha. My glorious composition V’Atem Tihiyu Li… You should sing this the whole Shabbos…

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/torah-hakedosha  -  Shabbos Yisro Kabbalas HaTorah is here and this composition of mine from the famous poem ( from selichos Tzom Gedalia) has incredible words that most- until my song- only knew the first part of it… Listen and take in the prayer to the Torah..

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/good-shabbos   – We read about this mitzva of Shabbos… what is it all about ..listen to this beautiful composition of mine that you will sing forever…

 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ylBComcef4   Simcha Leiner’s latest… Kein Yehi Ratzon! Nice…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfNTo3GhK_M    – A beautiful Ilan Ilan for Tu B’Shvat..

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Nevuchadnezzar -the King who gave honor to God?- 605 BC – It is mamash insane how important it is for us to learn Tanach and to understand and internalize the lessons and stories of our past that repeat themselves. Binu shnos dor v’dor- understand the lessons of each generation. This column somehow always seems to be caught up with what’s going on. Check it out this week…

 

We begin the story of the rasha, the evil king of Babylonia who in the fourth year of the King Yehoyakim exiles him and begins the process of our exile and destruction. Who is Nevuchadnezzar? So our sages tell us his fascinating origin story. It seems that he was the secretary of the previous King of Babylonia, Merodach Baladan whom we previously learned about. Baladan, was the king who had sent messengers to Chizkiya after he was miraculously healed from his illness that followed the miraculous defeat of Sancheriev’s Assyrian army right outside of the gates of Jerusalem. Chizkiya could’ve been Mashiach had he sung and praised Hashem after this victory. His failure to recognize the amazing opportunity that this victory brought and his continued alliances and reliance on other goyim to be on our team and give us their love led to his sickness.

 

When Baladan heard about his miraculous recovery and the defeat of his own mutual enemy that he shared with us of Assyria he sent messengers to Chizkiya. He sent his Rubio with great wishes. He wanted to make Babylonia great again as well. He sent him a letter that stated

 

“Peace be unto King Chizkiya, peace unto the city of Yerushalayim, peace unto the great God.”

 

When Nevuchadnezar who wasn’t present heard about the letter, he got upset. How dare they place Chizkiya and give him honor before Hashem?! They should’ve first written “peace to Hashem” before Chizkiya. He began to run after the messengers to stop them. And very quickly the angel Gavriel came down and stopped him. Yet, it was in the merit of those four steps that he rose to glory to become the king of Babylonia and ultimately became the one to destroy the Temple. It was only because the angel stopped him though that our exile was only temporary. If he would’ve actually taken more than those four steps, we’d still be speaking Babylonian today…

 

What is the message here? The message is that when the Goyim and their Kings stick up for Hashem and our honor and we don’t then we’re in trouble. In fact, the downfall of Chizkiya a and the Jews was because when Baladan’s whole entourage comes to Israel he shows them all of the glory of the Temple and our treasure houses. Maybe he even got them golden beepers. The Navi and story of Chizkiya and Nevuchadnezzar is that our job is not to talk about our greatness and glory. It has to be about Hashem. We can’t be impressed or influenced by the nations. We need to impress and influence them, but not to farkoyf them on us… Rather its’ to get them realize and appreciate how much Hashem’s glory needs to be revealed to the world.

 

Yes, my friends. It’s ba’yamim ha’heim- in those days. Ba’zman ha’zeh- in our times.


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE TREE JOKES OF THE WEEK

What type of trees like to give High Fives? A Palm Tree

 What school subject is the fruitiest? History – because it is full of dates!

 What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine!

 I was telling my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruits recently. It’s really all about rasin awareness

 A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!"

  What did one Jewish wheat say to the other one? What should we eat?

 How many olives did the girl eat? Olive them!

 I can cut down a tree just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes

 My friend told me “Did you know trees drop edible stuff that’s not fruit?” I said “that’s nuts”.

 Where do you buy barley? At the bar!

 What’s green, fuzzy, has four legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

 What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon Aid.

 Why you shouldn't trust trees? They seem shady

 When I see lovers' nαmes cαrved in α tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how mαny people bring a knife on a dαte.

 What do you call it when your friend try to convince you eat more fruit? Pear pressure.

 What kind of tree does toothpaste grow on? Toiletries

 ***************************************

The answer to this week”s question is b – Finally! I got one entirely right. It helps a bit that these are war zones. The part A though I knew even before the war, The Good Fence which was our open door policy to Lebanon before the first Lebanon War in 2000. Thousands of Israelis would got to Lebanon to shop and even have farms there and Leabanese would come into Israel as well enjoying our better medical services and shopping. Yes, it was once good with Lebanon before it became today. Now we’re back hopefully returned to our biblical borders that we won’t give back…

Part B was also easy. Kfar Darom was in Gush Katif until Ariel Sharon threw us out in exchange for the wonderful peace we’ve been experiencing since then. So I got them both right this week and the  new score is Rabbi Schwartz 5.5 Ministry of Tourism 2.5 on this exam so far.