Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
January 22nd 2022 -Volume
11 Issue 17 20th Shevat 5782
Parshat Yisro
Shani
was on the phone again. My wife handed it to me with this look that said ‘You’re
dealing with this’. I’ve had enough already. It was your bright idea to
send her off to Detroit to board by your parent’s house while she was attending
school there. I was fine keeping her here with us in Seattle. But, no, you
wanted your daughter to have that wonderful special form of Detroit Jewish
education that you and your siblings had. Well then, it’s on you to deal with
all the complaints and the fallout. She’s in 7th grade for gosh
sakes. She should be with her parents and siblings, not with her grandparents.
What were you thinking? That this was going to be smooth?!
So,
I took the phone and Shani began going on and on. Bubby doesn’t let me hang out
with my friends… She hocks me about doing my work all the time… She took away
my phone… I can’t handle this anymore. I’m not a baby. She reminds me to say
Shema every night and brush my teeth. I didn’t tell her that I’m 50 years old
and she still does that to me. Rather, I turned to my poor daughter who was
clearly suffering from abandonment issues on the other side of continent 3000
miles away and who had seemingly forgotten what a pain in the neck her father
was when she used to be living at home, and in that gentle, sensitive, caring
fatherly way that I’m known for, told her quite plainly that I’m not that
worried for her. I survived. She’ll survive. Everything will be alright. I
turned out just fine and I’m sure she will as well. There was silence for a
moment or two and then she asked if she could have Mommy back on the phone. I
handed it back to my wife. I don’t believe I got dinner that night and I think
she sent me directly to my room.
The
next day the scene replayed itself. Only this time my wife hands me the phone
even more exasperated. This time it was my mother on the phone. Uh Oh… Now I’m
in trouble. I quickly brushed my teeth and said Shema and then took the phone.
“Hi
Ma! What’s up?”
And
then it began. Shani doesn’t listen. She’s always on the phone. She doesn’t do
her work. She’s always going out. This is impossible. I don’t know what we’re
going to do with her. I stopped my mother at that point and once again quite
sensitively and of course respectfully shared with her some important words and
lessons.
“It’s
all your fault, Ma”
I said. “When I was a child, you cursed me that I would have a child just
like myself one day. Well now I do. I guess you just never thought I would send
her back to you, or something. Well, there you go. I guess you have to watch
what you say. You never know when it will come back to haunt you…”
There
was silence once again for a minute and then my mother asked if she could have
my wife back on the phone. I went to my room on my own that night and grabbing
the leftover cold pizza from the fridge on the way. I didn’t think I would be
getting supper for a long time or at least until Shani graduated Elementary
School.
Baruch
Hashem Shani turned out great. The next year she boarded by someone else. I
figured my parents deserved to be grandparents instead of parents once again
and Shani deserved to have a Bubby and Zaidy rather than Daddy and Mommy
surrogates. One year was enough for them to impart all the wisdom and teachings
that I never absorbed and wanted her to get from “Bubby and Zaidy school” anyways.
All was good once again, I had supper and was allowed out of my room sometimes.
Now
I know you’re looking at me and thinking, what type of parent send away his 12-year-old
daughter across the country to live by her grandparents for two years. Children
need to be with their parents, my wife tells me. Funny, how when she became a
grandmother though, that philosophy changed. As my grandchildren seem to be in
my house more than my daughter’s- mostly because my dear wife “Saftie” goes
over and picks them up all the time. But being a very big Rabbi with an encyclopedic
knowledge of Torah stories and interpretations that many people miss-
particularly the ones that can justify my warped parenting philosophies, I have
no problem finding ancient Jewish justification for my ideology. In fact not
only do we find that it’s a good thing to send your children away to Bubby and
Zaidy for extended periods of time, it’s the prelude to the most pivotal event
and parsha of our becoming a nation; The revelation at Sinai in our Torah
portion.
Our
Parsha oddly begins with possibly even a non-chronologically correct introduction
to Matan Torah with the story of Yisro, Moshe’s father-in-law returning his
wife and two children to him “achar shilucheha”- after Moshe had sent
them over to Bubby and Zaidys house in Midyan; which I want to point out many
used to call “Mo Town”. Now I know that may seem a bit confusing to you, as we
had the story back in Shemos, before the plagues and the Exodus, when Moshe
returns with his wife and kids to Egypt and they stayed over night and a snake
came and almost swallowed him up because he hadn’t circumcised his child yet. But
the Midrash tells us that when he got to Egypt his brother Aharon took one look
at the wife and kids and asked Moshe if he was mad bringing them down to Egypt.
There are enough slaves over here already. This is child endangerment. So,
Moshe sent them back to their Bubby and Zaidys’ house and seemingly according
to Unkelus and the Baal Ha’Turim even divorced his wife. Yisro now was bringing
them back after the Jews had left Mitzrayim and trying to convince Moshe to
take them back. This is the beginning and introduction to our receiving of the
Torah. With this intro taken care of we can only now get to the Ten
Commandments.
It’s
a mind-boggling and troubling story and idea on many fronts. Why would Moshe
divorce his wife? Why would Aharon of all people, the great ohev shalom
and rodef shalom, who was known to be the Shalom Bayis go-to-guy
for all Klal Yisrael’s marriage problems, advise his brother to send them away?
It’s even more perplexing when you think about Moshe’s early childhood roots.
His own father Amram we are told also divorced his mother, back when Pharaoh
was chucking Jewish babies into the Nile, for fear and because of the
pointlessness of producing anymore Jewish crocodile fodder for Egypt’s
nefarious final solution. Yet, Miriam stepped in and convinced him that he must
have faith. The redemption is coming. We can’t be worse than Pharaoh. And from
that reunion Moshe is born. Yet here Moshe himself sends his wife and kids away?
Where’s his faith? How and why would he want them to miss out on all the great
miracles that the rest of the nation would witness firsthand? And of course,
finally, why is this story the introduction to the giving of the Torah?
To
answer these questions in the most Jewish of ways, there is one more question
that I would like to ask followed by an amazing story- so hang in there it will
be worth it. Commandment number five, at the centerpiece of the Big Ten is the
mitzva to honor one’s parents. The Torah tells us quite unusually the reward
for this mitzva, that if we fulfill it properly, we will merit a long life.
There is only one other mitzva in the Torah where the Torah delineates this specific
reward for its fulfillment and that is strangely enough the perplexing seemingly
almost opposite mitzva of sending away a mother bird before one takes its baby
eggs. I say opposite mitzva, because whereas the mitzva of honoring one’s
parents seems to be about building and respecting the relationship between
parent and child, by this Mommy bird we are literally doing the opposite. We’re
chasing her away from her kids, so we can separate them from their mother. Yet,
it seems that this is such an important mitzva that it is on par with one of
the ten commandments and whose reward is long life.
One
of my heroes of the last generation, who I’ve written about was Rebbi Yissachar
Shlomo Teichtel, the author of the incredible work on the specialness and
centrality of Eretz Yisrael and the return to the land that he authored in the
middle of the Holocaust, called Em Ha’Banim Semeich- the Mother of children
rejoices. In his introduction he explains the title of his sefer with the most
personal of stories that happened to him during the war. In 1942 before Pesach,
word got out in the Jewish community pf Czechoslovakia that the Nazi controlled
government would be issuing a selektzia for all Jewish girls over the age of 16
who would be taken away and sent to camps. Rabbi Teichtel, who at the time had
two daughters of that age, took them before Pesach and tried to smuggle them
out of the country traveling to the border and assuring his wife that he would send
word as soon as he arrived safely. However, before he made it to the border he
was discovered and arrested along with his daughters and placed into jail. His and
their fate was uncertain. When his wife got word of his precarious situation
her Yom Tov of Pesach turned into days of sleepless nights, worry, tears and heartfelt
prayers for her family.
Rav
Teichtel writes that due to the incredible efforts of the Nitra Rav Shmuel
Ungvar they were able to bribe the prison officers and achieve their release. Word
was immediately sent home to his wife on the last day of Pesach and on Isru
Chag she waited anxiously at the doorway to their home for their return. He
then continues and writes
“When
they arrived, she burst into tears and overwhelmingly poured out all the emotions
of her heart. On account of the profuse outpouring of emotions she was unable even
to utter words of thanks to Hashem for the great miracle He preformed on their
behalf. He who did not witness this reunion- the mother reunited with her
daughters after such a dreadful captivity, the tears of the mother when she saw
that her daughters had returned to their borders, the joy of the joyous mother
of children- has never witnessed true feelings of joy.”
“I
imagine” he continues. “This will be the joy of our mother Eretz Yisrael
when we all return to her bosom after the horrendous captivity that we are now
experiencing.”
The
Zohar Ha’Kadosh tells us that the mitzva of shiluach ha’kein is
precisely this idea. It is to elicit in heaven the cries of the mother bird as
she is being sent away from her children and the mercy of our Father and His
longing for that reunion that we have awaited so long for. Do you know what the
mitzva of kibbud av v’eim is about? It’s not just about hakarat ha’tov
and showing the natural respect and appreciation to our parents for having
brought us into this world or even connecting us with a sense of awe of the
generations that have come before us. If that would be the case the mitzva
would then be on the second set of tablets that deal with the commandments
between Man and his fellow man rather than between Man and Hashem. The mitzva
rather is about understanding or perhaps even instructions- as the word Torah literally
means-about what the essence of our lives is all about; being the treasured
nation of Hashem that will shine that light to the entire world.
The
core of our essence is that we are children of Hashem. We have a Parent that
loves and cares for us and brought us into this world because He loves us and
wants us to appreciate that love. For us to recognize that, He programmed into
all of humanity that natural love for a parent to a child. Yet the biggest
danger and most painful form of destruction of that purpose is when the child
is oblivious to the love that is there for them. When they take their lives for
granted. Their parents for granted. Their existence for granted. Hashem tells
us that the essence of a long meaningful life on this world is only when we
honor, appreciate and revere that core of who we are. For without it we are
exiled. We are sent away from our Father. This isn’t a punishment in as much as
it is the method of awakening us to how much we miss Him. How much He loves us.
How much we need Him back in our lives. It is to elicit that cry of the mother
bird. It is to bring us back to our Mother Eretz Yisrael once again home and
see her rejoice.
The
prelude to our receiving the Torah is the return of Moshe’s wife and children
to him. To be that medium between our Father in heaven and His children that
had been separated for long, he had to experience how special that relationship
and the longing of his own for his family. Aharon, the peacemaker upon seeing
Moshe coming with his children to the house of slaves perhaps saw that there
needed to be a mitzva of shiluach ha’kein to elicit that longing in
Moshe himself to be the one that could bring Hashem back to his nation. To
reveal and appreciate how all the Torah that will be revealed on Har Sinai through
our nation to the world is really all about a child appreciating their Parent
and the parent showering that love back upon them.
But
there is an even deeper idea than that as well in this story. Those two
children of Moshe, Gershon and Eliezer, the Torah tells us are named after two different
incidents in Moshe’s life. Gershon is named because he was stranger in a foreign
land and Eliezer is because Hashem had saved him from the sword of Pharaoh. We
know their names already, but yet they are repeated here because their names
represent the circumstances by which Jews assimilate and forget their father. There
are so many of our brothers and sisters who don’t have a connection with our
history. They missed the great miracles. They were raised in a strange land.
They never had a Pesach Seder. As well there are others that have suffered so
much persecution. So much pain and so much suffering. The Jew has been beaten
out of them on the surface. They feel orphaned and that they have no father as
they are so far away from seeing His light.
Those two sons Moshe returns and brings them
to the Mt. Sinai as well, thus telling us that they are also and all of their
namesakes as well in similar circumstances through our history also have a Father
waiting for them. They are as much a
part of our nation as the rest of the family. They are our brothers and sisters
and our family is only complete with them standing side by side with us on Mt.
Sinai. That is the only way that we can shine that special light and love we
share from Hashem to the rest of the world.
Our
Mother bird is waiting for us. The land is bringing back it’s children. The
gates are opening up again. And Hashem is standing on top of His mountain with
His cloud of glory to welcome us back and embrace. We have finally come home.
Have a Torahdikeh Shabbos
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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SINGING SONG ON THE SEVENTH
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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH
PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Yedeh mutter denkt ir kind iz shain.- Every mother thinks her child is
beautiful.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
12) A bridge in the North
of Israel, over the Jordan or the Yarmuk River, which was exploded on "the
Night of the Bridges": ______________.
Subsequent to this attack, the following historical event occurred:
a) Operation Agatha (“Black
Sabbath”) (ha’shabat ha’shechora)
b) The Altalena Affair
c) The "Unfortunate
Affair" (parashat esek ha’bish).
d) The Syrian armored
attack on Degania
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE
WEEK
https://youtu.be/9q09ui2jBaU – In
honor of the Yartzeit of Rav Belsky’s composition Shimru Shabsosai beautiful
https://youtu.be/lLMjOUH2DjU - Ki Keil Melech- a brand new Eitan Katz niggun and release.
Amazing!
https://youtu.be/Q2uWgOkiycI
– Moshav Band with a
Tu Bishvat inspiring song Adam Eitz Ha’Sadeh
https://twitter.com/i/status/1483486345939066889
-
Incredible video of Reb Hershel Shachter singing HaBein Yakir Li
with his wife on the piano. Holiness..
https://youtu.be/HJ75MiANJBg - Yes!! Abie Rottenberg and Baruch Levine in this amazing Musical
journey of his greatest hits.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS
CONNECTION OF THE WEEK
Remembering the Day -Parshat Yisro- We
have finally reached the ten commandments and of course the “official” mitzva
of Shabbos. Zachor es yom Ha’Shabbos l’kadsho- remember the day of Shabbos to
sanctify it. In the second recounting of the Ten commandments in Devarim the
Torah changes the terminology and tells us Shamor es Yom ha’shabbos- we should
guard the day of Shabbos. These two aspects we’re told reflect both the positive
commandment of remembering and all of the negative commandments of refraining
to do work. I believe that most of understand and relate to the negative thou
shall nots aspects of Shabbos with it’s myriad of laws and details, but on the
other hand the commandment in our Parsha of Remembering the day we really don’t
get. What does it mean to remember the day?
The most obvious explanation of this
mitzva is of course the biblical command we have each week to make Kiddush. To sanctify
the day with our statement that today is the day of Shabbos. Rashi and other
meforshim all understand that the mitzva to remember the Shabbos is not just a
once a week mitzva. It’s a mitzva that we have all week long. If you see something
nice and tasty during the week, then buy it for Shabbos. In doing so you
fulfill the mitzva of remembering the Shabbos on Wednesday or Tuesday even!. As
well when we recite our daily psalm that was recited in the Temple at the end
of our morning service it begins with the words “today is the _____ day of
Shabbos. Again another mitzva of remembering the Shabbos during the week, by
counting all days for Shabbos. Amazing!
But perhaps even most fascinating is the
Ohr Ha’Chaim Ha’Kadosh who tells us that merely saying the word Shabbos is
already a fulfillment of the Mitzva. For the Zohar tells us that Shabbos is a
name of Hashem and whenever we say the word Shabbos we infuse the world with that
holiness that comes when we say the name of Hashem. In fact my dear friend Reb
Sruly Besser in his weekly “Real World” parsha talk mentioned that in the old
days the men in the Mikva would wish each other a gutten zibenteh- a good
seventh day as they didn’t want to say the name Shabbos- a name of God when they
in a room where there were people in stages of undress.
The story goes of Reb Aryeh Levin who
after davening on Friday night would walk over to the Kotel on Friday Night and
wish each soldier individually a “Gut Shabbos”. His son once asked him why in his advanced age and perhaps even in the cold
winter this was such an important task for him that could sometimes take over
and hour. He responded that each soldier that says the words Good Shabbos, or
Shabbat Shalom back to him fulfills this positive commandment of the Torah to
remember the day of Shabbos. Such an important mitzva and such an easy one to
share with every Jew. In the merit of our Good Shabboses that we say Hashem
blesses us with the best gift that He possesses.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES
AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
The
Sins of Shlomo- 827 BC- With the wisdom of Shlomo and the wealth comes
corruption. The Navi is harsh with Shlomo in describing his fall. The Torah
gives various commandments to a King who is pretty much given free reign in
many areas. Yet the Torah tells us that he is not to get a lot of horses for
fear that he may take people down to Egypt. As well he is not allowed to take
too many wives, the maximuim being 18. Well according to our sages Shlomo went
a bit overboard on both of those counts. Our sages tell us that he had over 900
wives and 300 concubines. Which if you make a cheshbon pretty much makes him in
Sheva Brachos every week of his life. Although being the smartest of all men,
I’m sure he was never short any Sheva Brachos Torah.
To make matters even worse most of his
wives were not even Jewish. They were from all of the nations of the world.
Ammonites, Moabits, Hittites and even the daughter of Pharaoh who he married
the same night as the Temple dedication. According to some commentaries these
wives converted, yet it is clear that their conversions weren’t sincere as they
continued to worship idols afterwards and even build altars on Har Kamosh
– which is another name for the Mt. of Olives which is dierectly across
from the Temple Mount. When he married Pharoah’s daughter she got him
inebriated and he even slept through the Temple dedication and sacrifice on opening
day! His mother Batsheva was sent to awaken him and boy did she give it to him.
Incidentally the source that we have for the last time of prayer- sof zma
tefilla being the 4th hour of daylight is because that’s when Kings
arise actually comes from that first morning when Shlomo slept in!
The reason for Shlomo’s downfall really is
because our sages tell us that he was too smart for himself. He thought the
rules and laws don’t apply to him. He obviously did he what he did for the sake
of heaven. He thought by making these marriage allegiances he would be bringing
all of the nations of the world closer to Hashem. He felt it was the Messianic
era. The Temple was built. He was the 15th generation since Abraham.
The moon so to speak was at its peak. Yet he failed. And the moon set. Hashem
said that he would not avenge Shlomo in his lifetime in the merit of Dovid his
father, but ultimately his kingdom would be doomed. And thus the era of the
greatness of Israel begins to fall.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FUNNY PARENTING LINES OF
THE WEEK
“Then suddenly you're a mom declaring ownership over swept dirt on the kitchen floor yelling DON’T YOU DARE WALK THROUGH MY DIRT PILE!”
“My mother, who came from
Russian, decided to go to night school and learn how to write English. One of
the teachers finally asked her, ‘Pardon me, Mrs. Asimov, are you by any
chance a relation of the brilliant Isaac Asimov?’”
“My mother, who was four feet,
ten inches tall, drew herself up to her full height and said, proudly, ‘Yes.
He is my dear son.’”
“‘Aha,’ said the teacher, ‘no wonder you’re
such a good writer.’”
“‘I beg your pardon,' said my mother, freezingly. ‘No
wonder he’s such a good writer.’”
Answer is A – I believe they messed
up this question at least the first part. There were 11 bridges blown up the
night of the bridges by Israel fighter forces to send the message to the
British that they weren’t letting us in, so we’re not letting them in. However
in the North on the Jordan River there was Gesher Bnos Yaakov which I knew and
guessed but it’s not near the Yarmuk which is lower by Chamat Gader and
Naharayim. The Bridge over there which I forgot the name originally is called
El Chamma bridge but that’s not on the Jordan. So I’m not sure what they
wanted. I’m going to count my answer as correct as it is over the Jordan
although I suspect that they wanted the other one. Part 2 of the question was
easy the aftermath of them blowing up the bridges was that the British went
nuts on Shabbos and raided and arrested tons of Hagana and Irgun soldiers. So
the score is now Schwartz 9.5 and 2.5 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on
this exam.
