Mountain Calls- Parshat Yisro- 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

February 6^th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 16 19^th of Shvat 5786

 

Parshat Yisro

 Mountain Calls

 

I'm on a train now. It's a long train ride, so that should give you a clue where I am. Israel doesn't really have train rides that long. Although they do have charging ports for my computer, which the train I'm on does not. So, if you get only half an E-Mail this week, blame it on the Europe. It's hard to write this here though. It's a lot of mesirus nefesh. See, outside my window is the Alps. The magnificent, glorious snowcapped Swiss Alps that supposedly it's said that Rav Shamshon Raphael Hirsch was quoted as saying that when he comes to Shamayim they were going to ask him if he saw the glorious Alps. According to tradition he even traveled from Germany to Switzerland to see them when he was in his 70's. I didn't want to wait until 70, so a convenient cousin's Zurich bar mitzva got me over here a bit earlier. And so here I am trying to write my E-Mail with this glorious world just passing me by out the window, as I try to focus on my screen and you… So, pardon in advance if I have more spelling and grammar mistakes than usual… You have no idea what I'm passing up by even just writing this thing.

 

Now, I know some of you are already ragging on me, about how can I leave Eretz Yisrael? Is this same Rabbi Schwartz that bashes everyone each week about visiting or living in other places. Didn't he just write a song about that (check out below if you missed it…). Knocking down the Kerister/Uman/Aushwitz people. The Africa/Bahamas/Cancun folks… And here I am in Shvietz! Talk about hypocrisy. Talking the talk, but not walking the walk. I'm fine with that. I plead guilty. I'll bang al cheit for that this Yom Kippur. But let me tell you something. I miss home. As beautiful and magnificent as Switzerland and the Alps are. It ain't home. It's not the place where my soul is soaring or has been longing to return to. But it is pretty cool and amazing, I'll be honest.

 

Like all of my vacations, or the truth is my life. The highlight of my day is really getting up before dawn and learning. It's quiet. It's peaceful. I have my coffee and breather first on the porch while the stars are still out and the morning light/ dawn is slowly starting to rise. That's my hour. That's when I most feel Hashem. And it's usually the only quiet moment of my day, week and month. That's an even more special time for me when I'm on vacation. When I don't have to go to work that day or sometimes even week. It's when I'm not home for Shabbos and don't even have to worry or think about my sermons or davening for congregation. That's when it's really my Olam Haba time. It's my me and Hashem bonding time. It's when I truly feel at peace.

 

The past two mornings in Arosa, Switzerland was really just like that, but even better. I got up to the still starlit sky over the the snowcapped glorious mountains right outside my porch. As I gazed at them in awe and wonder, feeling so small and so close to their Creator, I had a few thoughts. All of course connected to this week's parsha, of course. All of course the essence of our being and of our nation. You know, I would never offer you anything less.

The first thought was about why the Torah wasn't given on these mountains. I mean, this is a chasuna/ wedding between Hashem and Klal Yisrael. This is the Chupa moment. Why is Hashem doing a takana wedding in the Sinai desert on a much smaller and less glamorous hill. He needs to get a new wedding planner, I think. To be honest, I think some takana subsidized wedding halls in Lakewood are probably proportionately closer to the fancy wedding halls, then Har Sinai is to the Alps.  Now it wasn't like He was on a budget or something, or that He even chinsed out on special effects. Thunder Lightening…very very frightening… for me… for me… Sorry just rhapsodizing a bit…. It seems He was going all out on special effects. So why go low on the hall or the hill- excuse the pun?

 

The answer that most of us will give to that question really hasn't changed much since we first heard the question (although not nearly as creatively) in kindergarten. And the answer is that little Har Sinai was very humble, and Hashem wanted to show that humility is important for getting the Torah. It's a good answer. It's a good reason not to make a fancy wedding as well. Even a fancy takana wedding. Humility, modesty, are all good Torah traits. We should take a lesson from that. But at the same time, we're not in kindergarten anymore. We've graduated. It's time to reexamine the question and perhaps find something deeper. Because to be honest. Hashem is glorious. He wanted us to be in awe. He wanted us to remember this moment for ever. So why not go all out. He was doing so anyways. It's like a guy that makes a wedding in one of those old shlocky halls and then has a 50-piece band and Shwekey, Leiner, Fried and MBD entertaining. Either you're going all out. Or you're not.

 

On that same note, I had another question standing out there in the morning under those mountains. How come they're not in Eretz Yisrael. I mean it is Hashem's favorite place on Earth. It's the land that has everything. That He keeps telling us is good. That no place else has everything like we do. Not their fruits, not their hills, valleys, not the Torah, not their tefillos and certainly not their Falafel. In Israel, no self-respecting Israeli- although that's kind of an oxymoron unfortunately, will ever buy a falafel that isn't straight out of the oil pan and has been sitting in a metal bowl. So why don't we have Alps here either. Don't get me wrong, we have the Chermon, it's glorious and magnificent, but it ain't the Alps. So why not put them here. Why should losers like myself, have to leave our Holy Land to travel on an airplane where they speak some German sounding language, "Achtung Juden", to see these wonderous awe snowcapped inspiring peaks?

 

To be honest, as I sat out here looking at these peaks, this morning, I had this incredible thought. I felt like I was looking at spiritual pornography- to be quite graphic. I was checking out this beautiful snow-capped woman walking down the street, but she wasn't my wife. She was pretty. She was beautiful. Her glory was calling to me to check her out. I even understood why some people would get sucked into that. But I felt like you do, sometimes when you pass someone like that on the street, that perhaps isn't dressed so modest, that I needed to avert my eyes. It wasn't my wife. It's not the mountain that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, or to be honest even have any real quality time with. That mountain is pretty and even awesome to look at, but can she make chulent? Can she fulfill me. Can she help me become the person I want to become? Is she someone that I want to have a home with? Build a family with? Because again, to be brutally honest, life, what I'm looking for, and ultimately achieving the happiness and completion I want for myself, is a lot more than having a pretty, even gorgeous thing to look at and show off.

 

It's that thought, that I believe keeps most men from straying, and even the ones that do that ultimately bring them back with full regret for their indiscretion. It's why we turn our eyes to not get sucked into that honey trap. We know it's wrong for us. It's the call of the Moabite women from their tents, to come in an get a quick bargain, that Bilam used on us. Yet, at the same time, why doesn't Hashem bring that mountain to His land? Why not have those beautiful mountains of Switzerland, glorify His own living room? Why have these spiritually scantily dressed pornographic pictures of other places around the world, like Cancun, the Bahamas, Spain, South America, Africa, Miami and Orlando filling up Jewish Frum Magazines for Pesach vacations, when the only place where we all know He wants us to be for the upcoming holiday is in Yerushalayim together with Him?

 

And I was thinking and pondering this deep question, I believe that is precisely the answer. The answer is that is precisely why most people prefer Pesach in their home rather then these exotic locales, or certainly regular Shabbosim. Even the ones that go away, and I'm really not judging here, I understand and even appreciate the beauty and niceness and convenience of vacation, of getting away to someplace different, of not having to "make" Yom Tov. But even the ones that go away, that wander and stray. They all say the same thing when they come back. "There's no place like home". Nobody makes their house into a Pesach hotel. Nobody makes Cancun in their backyard. Nobody imports the Alps across their patio window. They're fine with a picture of it on the wall. But they want their home to be home. To be haymish. To be theirs. To be reality.

 

Yidden, don't have fancy full-time live-in chefs making us gourmet exotic "tastes just like Chametz" cakes and pizzas in their home for Pesach. We don't have Sushi chefs and grill masters living with us all the time preparing us these exotic world-class meals and hotel breakfasts at home. We have Mom's cooking. We have Bubby's kugel recipe, we have Tante Chana's knaydel soup, and Savti's sponge cake and Totty's special chulent. We have food whose main ingredient isn't some exotic spice, rather it's the love that's put into it. It's an ingredient that no culinary school will ever be able to compete with. It's what gives Mama's cooking food the flavor of Mannah, that no matter what you taste or imagine, or what shape or dish it is, will still have that same holy flavor. It's why Shabbos food always tastes better. It's why nothing comes close to Mom's kitchen.

 

Do you know what the message of Har Sinai is that Hashem wanted us to appreciate and why He chose that less glorious mountain for the locale of the giving of the Torah. He wanted us to understand that we don't need the Alps to get the Torah. It ain't in any fancy locale. The thunder, the lightening, the mind-blowing revelation isn't in Cancun or in the Alps. It's not Ba'Shamayim and it's not me'eiver la'yam. It's on a small mountain top in wilderness. It's finding and seeing the beauty and real glory that comes from within and that's built and emanates from that smaller more attainable little hilltop that we're married to, rather than the more exotic one you see in the magazine. It's understanding and appreciating the warmth and beauty of a backyard wedding, or the one that years ago they did in the local shul courtyard in the shtetl rather than some destination wedding, where nobody really cares much about the bride and the groom, but rather are just checking out the awesomeness of the beaches, the locale and the sand, the sun, the slopes and the ski and all of the other local attractions and amenities. That's Har Sinai. That's where Hashem wanted us to get married.

 

But there's something deeper as well. I saw an incredible Chasam Sofer. He notes that Hashem tells Moshe in the prelude and days before our wedding on Mt. Sinai that He will lift us up carry us to bring us to Him on Kanfei Nesharim- which is mistranslated as the wings of eagles, but is in fact biblically and more accurately Griffins or vultures, to be more crude. He asks why it is that Hashem doesn't use a more politically and spiritually correct kosher bird, like a Yonah- a dove or pigeon that Bnai Yisrael is always faithfully compared to throughout the prophets and specifically in Shir Ha'Shirim- the song of songs, the ultimate love song of us and Hashem. His answer is because the Nesher is noted as the most unkosher of birds. It has all four signs of birds that are not kosher (predator, no extra toe, no crop, and a non-peelable gizzard). What Hashem is telling us, he writes, is that even if we are as non-kosher as a Nesher, He will bring us to Him. He loves us. We're His special, treasured, chosen nation. He made our wedding on Mt. Sinai, that small little haymish hill, to show us that He doesn't need the Alps. He's not looking for us to be the Alps. He doesn't need our fancy Beketche… to quote the recent song going around. All He needs and want is you. Is us in all our human glory, frailties, pimples and even tumah. Hashem dwells with us even in that state. He can lift us up and bring us to Him even then. He loves us even when we're not dressed up all fancy for a wedding or spent two hours having our hair and makeup done. He loves us and is married to us in our house robe and slippers.

 

He made that wedding for us and gave us that Torah even in Chutz La'aretz. He wanted to show us that even there He's willing to come to us and take us in. But he preceded that giving of the Torah with the message, that this wasn't just going to be just some fling and something that we just experience out there isolated and alone in the wilderness. It was a commitment to come and build a home with Him in His country. In our place. In the place where heaven will always meet earth.

 

Maybe just maybe that's why in Eretz Yisrael, the original Tziyonim dropped the levush and wear sandals and shorts and kova tembels. In Chutz La'aretz perhaps you need the beketche. In your living room, you don't need to be dressed up like the Alps. Our wedding with Hashem and the glory that we experienced on our exodus from Egypt was when we were on the 49^th level of impurity. We weren't pretty. We had one mitzva in our hand. We sacrificed the god of Egypt, we took their lamb, and we roasted it and put its blood outside our doorpost and said we want something different in our house. Hashem saw that and skipped over all of our past sins and scooped us up and brought us to Him in that state. When we were in the gutter. Because He wasn't looking for the Alps or some exotic sin-free nation. He was looking for a wife. A treasure. A nation that will always be connected and one with Him. One that may not always be knock-out head-turning gorgeous, but when that He knew He could never live without or be revealed from anywhere else.

 

We read the parsha of the giving of the Torah, the week after Tu Bi'Shvat, the new year for the trees of Israel, the holiday of our land. As well our eyes already turn towards the upcoming month of Adar and the holiday of Purim. The sin and ultimate decree and perhaps even the message of Purim, our sages tell us, is that we were ne'heneh mei'seudaso shel Achashveirosh- we enjoyed and relished in the glatt kosher meatboards and beautiful exotic feast of Achashveirosh. We liked it in galus. We thought we had made it there. It was beautiful. It was convenient. It was even spiritual- kind of. But it was spiritual pornography. It was a bedatz eidah chareidis kosher magazine with perhaps no pictures of women in it, but with siren calls to mountains and places that were far, far, away from the Bais Ha'Mikdash. We were using the Bais Ha'Mikdash vessels Hashem gave us; the longing for ruchniyos, the yearning for holiness and for connection to Him, and we were knocking on harlot's doors in the spiritually bereft shtetlach of Shushan, Kerister, Uman and Lakewood, and yes even the Swiss Alps. We had Tu Bishvat seudos there and spoke about the kabbalistic meanings of the fruits on our fancy well bug checked fruit platters. But we lost sight of the good land and our home that Hashem was waiting for us to return to and come back and eat them with Him in His home-cooked- haymish gi'bakt kitchen.

 

So, He brought Haman upon us to remind us. He always does. He first sent us a few angry text messages and warnings. He even had kidnapped daughters, like Queen Esther, who He took along with so many other Jewish girls. He raised the level of anti-semitism up and up and up. Till we realized that perhaps Shushan, as beautiful and as kosher and as spiritual as it may've seemed wasn't really our wife. Wasn't who we should be looking to build a home with or in. That they will turn on us. That they really don't love us and won't be faithful to us. That like that Moabite woman sitting in the door of her tent calling to us, are only there for our money. To drain us. To distance us from our home. From Sinai. They're not there to complete us, they're there to consume us. To nullify and erase us. To make us feel small in front of their beautiful Alps. But never to build a home together with us.  That's the story of Purim. That's how it all turned around. That's how we came home. That's where we are coming to today as well.

 

My flight back to Eretz Yisrael is scheduled for Sunday. I don't really want to fly home on Swiss Air. Too many goyim on the flight. They didn't even have a kosher meal for me. I'm ready to leave today on Hashem's wings. I've seen enough. I want to come home. I saw a fantastic story about Rav Kook who upon returning from America in 1924 from a fundraising mission together with Rav Moshe Mordechai Epstien of Slobodka, and the Kovna Rav Rav Shapira, on behalf of Torah institutions in Eretz Yisrael. It said that as he approached Shaar Ha'Gai coming closer to Yerushalayim he became discerningly more and more elated and emotional. He gazed out at the beautiful hills of Yerushalayim and turned to those in the car and said.

 

"In America, as well I saw owering mountains all around- the handiwork of Hashem. But those mountains were silent; they did not speak to us. These holy mountains of Eretz Yisrael though speak and call out to us. They speak clearly and their lucid voices enter our ears, effortlessly penetrating  to the depths of our heart and souls."

 

I heard that silence in the Alps. I long for the music of the hills of my home. May we all soon hear that song.

                                                     

Have a Mountainous Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" A barg mit a barg kennen zikh nit tsuzamen kumen, ober a mentsh mit a mentsh kennen.- Mountains cannot meet, but men can.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/eretz-tu-bishvat - Hot off the Press! My Latest New Fun Release!! Eretz Yisrael… you gotta listen till the end to the fun surprise English part…

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vatem  - This week's parsha- the promise of wings of Nesharim- returning to Hashem. My incredible moving and awesome kanfei nesharim composition. Once again Dovid Lowy vocals and arrangements

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWrTZqv7HvM&list=OLAK5uy_l49sRBCclXCczipzxo32OM_Uf8Pd2Vork    – And the Last Shwekey's  Shabbos Drop -Pizmonin- For all my Syrian friends

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/torah-hakedosha  – I composed this special song upon my father's Sefer Torah dedication to our Shul. The words recall to us the giving of the Torah on Sinai and our prayer "to" the Torah to beseech Hashem on our behalf. Beautiful!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vzakeynu-lirot-banim  – And of course, this fun composition of mine that the great Yitz Berry did for me, upon the birth of my first grandchild. That Hashem merit us with seeing children and grandchildren who follow in the ways of Torah and Mitzvos V'Zakeinu

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

19. The cluster of the world's northernmost Doum Palm is located near the city of ­         _______

Which of the following statements about the Bahá'í Faith is true?

A. A large community of followers of the Bahá'í Faith currently resides in the State of

Israel

B. The Bahá'í Faith originated in Shi'ite Islam in Egypt in the Middle Ages

C. The Bahá'í Faith advocates universal ideas of equality and justice

D. The Bahá'í Faith is widespread among patriarchal communities that oppose

modernity

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

The Return - 370 BC- And it was in the 71^st year since Nevuchadnezzar had first started the exile of the Jewish people from Israel with the conquest and exile of Yehoyakim, Koresh the new King of the empire of Persia allowed and even assisted the Jews to return to Israel to rebuild the Temple. He and Darius were aware of the prophecy that was given at Belshatzar's feast and the writing on the wall. They understood that the reason why the Jewish people were exiled was because of their sins, but after 70 years that bill was paid. And thus they agreed at the beginning of their battle with Babylonia that they would allow the Jews to return. Darius only lived for one year, but on his death bed he called in Cyrus/ Koresh and commanded him to keep that promise.

Now our sages, tell us that this declaration and return of Koresh, really was only phase one. The real 70 years wasn't going to be up until the conclusion of the story of Purim. In fact this return, like the "First Aliya" to Israel in the 1800's really flopped with many returning to the diaspora. As well the earlier returns to Jerusalem, of Donna Gracia in the 1500's the students of the Baal Shem and the Gra in the 17 and 18 hundreds, as well as of Reb Yehuda Ha'Levi and the return to rebuild the Churva shul all pretty much flopped. Many died, many returned. The time wasn't ripe. The land didn't respond.

This goes back to almost every attempt at return until modern times which is truly miraculous. This starts with this first return of Zerubavel, the son of Shaltiel, the son of the former King Yehoyachin who was born in exile in jail in Persia. Why does Hashem give us all these false starts?

Our sages explain fascinatingly enough, it's because Hashem saw He couldn't wait too much longer. We were getting too comfortable. The Jews were assimilating. And a little bit longer there would have never been anyone to take out. That would be willing to answer that shofar blast. So Hashem started an early redemption. 42,000 went up with Zerubavel. There were great scholars and Rabbis and leaders and fascinatingly enough even wealthy people joined the team. They set our roots back up there. They created the foundation. It will take a few more years. It will take Haman and Purim for this work to finish. To pick up the pieces, where as we will see this failed beginning started. But the taste of the redemption begins now. We're on the way home.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE MOUNTAIN JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him off the Alps.

 

God created the first Swiss and asked him:

"What do you want?"

"Mountains," replied the Swiss.

God created mountains for the Swiss and asked him, "What else do you want?"

"Cows," said the Swiss.

God created cows for the Swiss. The Swiss milked the cows, tasted the milk and asked, "Will you taste, dear God?"

The Swiss filled a cup with milk and handed it to God. Dear God took the cup, drank it and said, "The milk is really quite good. What more do you want?"

"1.20 Swiss Franc."

 

Rabbi Schwartz returns to Israel. My congregants turn to me and ask

" So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?"

Me: Yes, it was amazing.

Them; Did you enjoy the views?

Me: Mmm...No.

You: Why?

Me: The Mountains blocked the view.

 

Hashem was showing off the mountains he made to his angels.He showed them the Alps, the Himalayas, and the Pyrenees.

Impressed, the first angel said "that's nice, got any more?"

Hashem replied, "oh yeah, Andes.

 

Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains? Mountains peak.

 

What is green and glides down a mountain? A skiwi

 

I like mountains. But volcanoes are ash holes. (sorry I couldn't resist…)

 

Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill areas.

 

While on vacation in Switzerland I see people my age out there climbing mountains, skiing and ziplining and here I am feeling good about myself, because I managed to get my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

 

A cloud, a lake and a mountain are having a big argument, they are all yelling claiming each one is the greatest form of nature alive. To settle this, they come up with a little challenge: Who can kill the most humans with a single action.

The cloud goes first. With all of it's cloudy might, it clumps up all the energy possibly and it produces the most majestic form of lightning you could ever imagine. It travels furiously towards the ground and it savagely ruptures a man in half and burns his remains into a handful of ashes.

The lake goes second, knowing it was at a disadvantage it waits patiently until there's a full moon and a high wind so the odds are slightly in its favor, and it manages to produce a very decently sized wave that drags and kills a dozen of college students that were lake swimming that night.

Finally it's the turn of the mighty mountain. He won in a landslide.

 

Did ya hear about the pilot that flew in to a mountain? He had a bad altitude.

 

Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.

 

Why did the girl break off with the frostbitten mountain climber? She was lack-toes intolerant..

 

A blizzard hit a remote prison way up in the mountains, the faculty were all evacuated but there was no time to save all the inmates. After the weather calmed down, the roads were snowed over, and would be impassable until the thaw come springtime. Rescuers were flown in to find the the inmates had all perished due to the unbearable cold. It seemed the only think left to do was to remove the bodies to give closure to the families of those involved. It would be a great expense to clear the roads, or could the deceased prisoners be able to be flown out?

When interviewed afterwords, the head coordinator was asked about the logistics of the operation. After considering all options, the choice was made to airlift the bodies after weighing the frozen cons.

 

Why did the chicken lay its egg on the mountain? It wanted to make an egg-roll.

 

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The answer to this week's question is C–Back in the game! I got this one right. The Bahai is a fun religion. It's a breakoff of Islam in the 19^th century by this guy Baluha or something. They felt that Islam had lost its way and really the religion is one of tikkun olam- l'havdil. Bringing all religions together and planting gardens all over the world. The Muslims of course killed them, they don't like competition much. It originated in India where they're mainly based. But their head was held and died in prison in Akko. Which made it holiest place in the world for them, and which they daven facing. According to Wikipideia they're the fastest growing religion based on proportion after ultra Orthodox Judaism… yup that's cool! The Doum trees in Eilat are the most and quite magnificen it's where Rabin signed peace accords with Hussein of Jordan if I remember correctly. So got em both right and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having a 13.5 points and the MOT having 5.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.



Being Jewish-Parsha Bamidbar / Shavuot 2018 /5778

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

May 11^th 2018 -Volume 8 Issue 30 4^th Iyar 5778

Parshat Bamidbar / Shavuot

Being Jewish

What makes you Jewish? It’s a question that many people who haven’t been raised with a Jewish Torah background would ask me; both Jews and Non- Jews. The Non-Jews would ask because they wanted to know. They understood, that it was not being observant keeping Shabbat or kosher, or even supporting Israel, tragically enough. Tragically enough on all of the above, not just the Israel part, because they knew lots of Jews that didn’t do any of that. They were also wise enough to understand that Judaism was not just a gastrointestinal religion or culture. It was more than an ability to digest or even an affinity for Gefilte fish, herring, kugel, blintzes, chopped liver and of course chulent. They understood that despite the fact that many of those foods may keep you up for some nights, it’s not enough to keep our people around for a few thousand years. So what really makes you Jewish they would want to know.

Now some might answer that it is wisdom, it is lawyers, doctors, accountants. It is comedians, Seinfeld, Jackie Mason. It is advocating for the needy and persecuted. On the other hand it is arguing, lobbying, fighting. It’s in your face. It’s a drive for education, greed for money, for success, for assimilation. I don’t think we have a monopoly on all of the above and I certainly don’t even necessarily buy into the stereotype. Except for Seinfeld of course. Perhaps the one common thing tragically enough about being Jewish though that is all of the above is the drive to become more goyish than the goyim. To out-goy them. But I would never tell that to them.

Now my Jews that would ask me the question had a different agenda. They knew that as an Orthodox Rabbi that was presenting the 3000 year old tradition of our people as it had been given to us on Sinai and as it has been practiced for pretty much the same and universally accepted way up until the past century when some decided it would be easier to just change the rules, I would tell them the answer that they would not like. I would tell them of course, they assumed, that what makes you Jewish is that your mother is Jewish, or you have undergone a conversion that accepts all of the commandments of the Torah. A conversion of course that doesn’t mandate that you accept all of the commandments, that gives you a few exceptions; you can still eat shrimp, still speak lashon Hara- gossip, still drive on Shabbat, still not fast on Tisha B’Av or celebrate Christmas is obviously not legitimate. They would then point out to me how unfair that was. How why shouldn’t they or their girlfriend or their step-mother not be considered Jewish just because they didn’t have a Jewish mother. They were more Jewish than most of their “Jewish friends”. They loved Israel, the observed more commandments, they gave to the JNF. They even had a Bat Mitzva, Brit, went to the mikva or had a Jewish confirmation ceremony-whatever that is… You may have even gone on a tour and climbed Masada with Rabbi Schwartz. Who was I to say who was Jewish or not? How dare I judge them? Why was I so closed-minded? See I knew they would say that, so I never took the bait.

Rather my general response was a Jewish response. I answered a question with a question. It’s really the only way one can arrive at the truth. Be careful, by the way of Rabbis that just throw you answers and don’t ask you questions. More often or not they just want you to hear them, and they are really not hearing you or at least trying to hear you. A questioning Rabbi is telling you I want to hear what you want to say. Generally that dialogue can reveal so much more and can help one integrate so much more. Both of you. The questioner and the responder. We both grow from one another and out questions. But I digress….So I responded and asked the very profound question. What does it matter? Huh…? What do you mean what does it matter? Exactly what I said. What do you care about what makes one Jewish. Is it because you feel you need my validation? Do you feel Jewish, anyways? Do you want to become more Jewish? Why is it so important to you know what it takes or what makes someone into a Jew? In addition why would or should anything I say make a difference to you? If you feel that you are Jewish, although your mother may not be. If you feel that you are Jewish although your conversion was not done in the traditional way, what does it make a difference what I think?

Are you worried that my son won’t marry your daughter? Do you really want to have me for your daughter’s father-in-law? Listen if she wants to marry him, she’ll probably have to be Orthodox herself, or at least know how to make a good chulent J. But really why do you care? Why aren’t you “Jewish” enough for yourself? Why do you need my validation?

The truth is every denomination of Judaism has it’s definition of what makes one Jewish. For Conservative Jews it’s only a conservative conversion and for many its only Patriarchal descent. Reform Jews pretty much have whatever requirements they must have, they must undergo some Jewish training. They go to a mikva. They can’t believe in Christianity and they have to donate to the building fund. Israeli Jews feel if you serve in the army that makes you Jewish enough, or if you love Israel. For many here it’s the opposite, if you stand up for the down-trodden Palestinians you are a Jew and if you don’t then you’re a heartless “goy”. Yet for some reason there is this gnawing feeling that bothers people from these backgrounds and affiliations, that ‘I’m not Jewish enough’. That ‘Rabbi Schwartz thinks I’m not Jewish’. Although they have no problem agreeing that someone else that might consider themselves Jewish, are not considered by them as Jewish if they are a different standard.

I remember when I was in Seattle I once had a meeting with a “Messianic Jew” who wanted to undergo conversion. After hemming and hawing a bit and after he assured me that he observed Shabbat, kosher and many Jewish holidays already, I broke the news to him. I told him that although Orthodox, Conservative and Reform disagree on a lot, particularly in regard to conversion we all pretty much agree that you can’t believe in the J-man and become Jewish. He asked me why can’t we believe that the “Messiah” had already come. Aren’t there in fact Chabad people that believe that the Rebbe was Messiah and might even come back as one… Ouch! I told him to ask a Chabad guy to explain the difference to him. But it was different.

Regardless we all have different standards, and opinions, perhaps that is the most Jewish part of all. Yet there is something in the Jew that knows that he is never “Jewish” enough. Something that still needs to be completed. Some place where I have to grow. Perhaps that as well is one of the most Jewish attributes.

This Shabbat we come to the conclusion of the counting of the Omer that we have been counting from when we left Egypt 49 days ago. We count from when Hashem chose us a as a nation and pulled us out of slavery and assimilation and we count until the holiday of Shavuot when we became for the first time a nation of Hashem. A nation with a Torah, a mandate, a mission that we accepted to bring Hashem's light and presence to this world. Most Jews around the world celebrate the holiday of Passover. It’s fun, it’s nice, it’s exciting, it’s tradition. Every Jewish soul understands the message of Pesach. We are different than everyone else. Hashem preforms miracles for us. He saves us. They will never destroy us. We are eternal. Those are all messages that every Jewish soul connects with and makes a seder to pass it down to their descendants.

Shavuot on the other hand… not so much. Outside of Orthodox synagogues I would say there’s a 90% drop in attendance for Shavuot. And trust me if there wasn’t a Yizkor there would be more…For some reason, Jews don’t feel as connected to the message of Shavuot. The message of what truly makes us a Jewish. The remembrance and the reliving of that moment 3330 years ago this Sunday when we stood as one as a nation and heard Hashem announce the He is the one that took us out of Egypt, We shall not have any other Gods besides Him. We should observe, the Shabbat, we should honor our parents, we should not steal, we should not envy. We should follow all of the 613 commandments. We should follow the Rabbinic laws that will follow over the generations that are meant to be a fence around Hashem’s law. We should love our fellow man as ourselves and we should be complete and perfect with Hashem and with our neighbor. It is much easier to understand and define our Judaism by the notion that we are “not them”. But the Jewish soul ultimately will never be satisfied with that Pesach message. That Jewish soul also needs and screams for the Shavuot message. What makes me Jewish? How do I become a better Jew?

The Torah portion we read before Shavuot is Bamidbar. The Book of Numbers where we count and name the Jewish people and their tribes and their leaders. The verse tells us how each tribe camped

Bamidbar (2:2) Each man according to his flag with signs according to the house of their fathers they shall camp.

Rashi notes and describes this encampment

Each flag had a symbol and a colored sheet of cloth or map hanging in it. Each one had its own color that was different from the other. The color being the same that each one had as their stone in the breastplate of the high priest. That way each one will know his flag.

The Book of Bamidbar tells how when we left Sinai the most essential way for us to travel was for each of us to have a flag. That each Jew should know that he has a banner, a national banner, a tribal banner, a familial and personal banner that he is part of. Each Jew has his color on the breast plate that is brought before God in the Holy of Holies. Each Jew will always feel the need to connect and be part of that greater camp. For the mission of Shavuot, the mission of Sinai, the mission of our people will only be fulfilled when we are all on the same team. When we stop worrying so much about what other people think about our Judaism, but we are more concerned with answering the real call of our own souls to be better Jews.

Shavuot as well teaches us that sometimes, the Jewish question is not what will inspire us as much as the non-Jewish one. We get so caught up in our inter-Jewish politics we forget about who we are really meant to be and who Hashem has chosen us to be. So we read the story of Rus. The non-Jewish Moabite who sees and appreciates what it means to be Jewish. How it’s not about what I’m not or what others think I am but what I could and am meant to become to fulfill the longing of my soul. It’s mission. She is the heroine of Shavuot as is King David as well her grandson. They didn’t worry what others thought about their legitimacy. Their questionable and challenged roots or conversions. They worried about what they needed to do to become the Jews they needed to become. That is what Shavuot is all about, that is what we celebrate and the energy, resolution and inspiration we are meant to draw from the holiday.

This past week the entire world sat back and saw how the most powerful Nation of the world recognized Yerushalayim as the capital not only of Israel, but of the Jewish people. The world is aching for us to claim it as well. To claim not just our city, our capital, but our mission that we received to accomplish from it. To bring that light to the world. To connect the heavens to the earth. To be the best Jews that Hashem chose us all to be. May we all be inspired this Shavout to do that.

Have an incredible Shabbos and a inspirational Shavuot,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“A guter yid darf nit kain briv, a shlechten yidden helft nit kain briv.”- A good Jew doesn’t need a letter of recommendation; for a bad one, it would do no good.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

Q: It is possible to watch eagles in Israel primarily in:

A. The Hula Agamon

B. The Carmel hai bar

C. The bird sanctuary in Eilat

D. Wadi Kelt

RABBI SCHWARTZ COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/DnrH04cu7SE  - Motti Steimetz beautiful rendition (by Rechnitz wedding) of Ko Amar Lechtech Bamidbar-in honor of Parshat Bamidbar

https://youtu.be/vOMmU2vUJQU  - Fantastic song by Zanvil Wienberger- All nations said no to Torah just the Jews in Yiddish but well worth it. Its really all you need for Shavuot!

https://youtu.be/GwcFq2rbCHA  - Hopping new single by Ohad and composed by Eli Klein and Yitz Berry enjoy Livado

https://youtu.be/dJZg8gV-30Q - In honor of Dovid HaMelech Yartzeit his great words- you have overturned my mourning -Hafachta Mispidi done amazing Acapella…

https://youtu.be/SY_v25-dqAo   – Hineni Kaan by Y-Studs in honor of Jerusalem, and its newest world recognition

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S HAFTORA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Bamidbar- Haftoras can be read on the simple level and one can easily find the connection to the Parsha. Sometimes even in the first verse. But if you dig a little deeper there are many layers of connection you can uncover. All you have to do is pay attention and you may find them.

The first words of the haftora from the book of Hoshea are

Hoshea (2:1) “And the number of the children of Israel will be like the sand of the sea which cannot be measured or counted”

Being that we are beginning the Book of Numbers, Bamidbar, reffered to by our sges as the sefer Pikudim- the book of counting. The first words of the haftora are certainly understandable and appreciated. That although we were numbered and counted, ultimately we the time will come when we will be beyond that.

As well the haftora mentions the midbar- the wilderness in two seemingly opposite contexts. It first describes this vision that Hoshea had where Hashem demands that he abandon his own unfaithful wife and perhaps even illegitimate children, that he had originally been commanded by Hashem to take and produce. Hoshea, through this process understands the depth of love Hashem has for us and how He can never abandon us.

Ibib(2:5) Lest I will unclothe you naked and I will present you like the day you were born and placed you like a wilderness or put you in a parched land and you shall die of thirst.

Hoshea realizes that abandoning his children is like throwing them naked in the wilderness; the Midbar

Later on though he describes how Hashem comes to us, in our terrible state and weds us. He comes to seek us in the midbar.

Ibid (2:16) Therefore, behold, I shall seduce here and I shall lead her in the wilderness, and I will speak to her heart.

Finally this haftora is always read before the holiday of Shavuot, and as we know Shavuot is to a large degree our “wedding” to Hashem. Mt. Sinai is our chuppa over our head. And thus the haftora aptly relates to that as well. As it says

Ibid (2:18) And it will be on that day says Hashem, I will call you my husband and you will not call me my master.

The conclusion of the haftorah is familiar to many men who put on their tefilin/ phylacteries each morning and recite the connecting verses. After we place our hand and our head tefilin we wrap the straps upon our fingers, like a ring almost. We then recite these last words.\

Ibid (2:21-21) And I will betroth you to me forever. And I will betroth you to me with righteousness and with kindness and with mercy. And I will betroth you to me with faith and you shall know Hashem.

The perfect shidduch. When we place that tefilin, that ring upon our finger we have bound ourselves with Hashem. True as Hoshea notes we may not have always been the most faithful wife, ye the love Hashem has for us is there forever. That is the message and the celebration of Shavuot. And that is what we are meant to feel when we read this haftora each year the Shabbos before the holiday.

Hoshaya Ben Be’eri (600-530 BC)- Certainly one of the most fascinating of prophets, the talmud in pesachim tells us that Hoshea prophecized at the same time as Isaiah, Micha and Amos but he was the greatest of all of them. He was a prophet after the division of the 10 Northern tribes from Yehuda and Binyamin in Jerusalem and he lived in the North of Israel. Much of his prophecies revolve around the sin of idolatry that the Jews in the North, whome he refers to as Ephraim, can’t seem to kick and he foretells of the doom that will befall them. He is buried in the old cemetery of Tzfat according to the tradition of the Ari”Zl making it the oldest grave there.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 Ruth- 1290 BC- In America I found that I paid more attention to the reading of the Book of Ruth then I did here in America. See in Israel we have only one day of Yom Tov, the holiday. So after a whole night learning session we have to get it all in Ruth, akdamus, the Ten Commandments, yizkor; it is the davening that never ends. In the US though with two days of chag, we read Ruth on the second day after a good night’s sleep. But here in Israel though I am more in touch with Ruth than there. See because here I can point out and talk about her, more than just on Shavuot. After- all this is where her story takes place.

Where do we mention Rus, the great convert and great grandmother of King David and ultimately Mashiach? Easy. First of all whenever we go to Rachel’s tomb we note that the city of Bethlehem was seemingly a capital city of Israel. Kind of like the Baltimore to the Chevron which was the Washington DC Jewish capital city back then; long before Jerusalem was even in Jewish hands. It is where Elimelech and Naomi lived and where he did not want to help out his community with tzedaka during the famine. As well when I am at various lookout points in Judean desert, it could be Mitzpe Yericho, Mt. Azazel, or even by the road going down from Jerusalem to the Dead Sea- Highway 1, I note that this is the very same path that they took when they came down to Moav, which is today Jordan and the way that Rus returned. We are, to paraphrase Rus going on the “path that you shall walk, I shall walk” It doesn’t get more biblical than that! It is easy to tell that it is the same road, because it is the only break in Mountains- In Hebrew it is called Matzok Ha’Etikim or the separated cliffs, on the long mountain range that goes along the west Bank and the Judean Desert. It is certainly the only path to go to Bethlehem.

As well I mention Ruth whenever we visit farms and we cut wheat or other fruits and we discuss the mitzvos of charity that the farmer fulfills in Israel. Leaving over the corners of his field, and the droppings that would fall or the parts that he forgot. It is these mitzvos that led to Rus gathering in her relatives Boaz’s field and ultimately to their marriage.

Talking about their marriage as well, I mention that whenever we are in the gateway of a biblical period city, such Beer Sheva, Tel Dan, Chatzor or Megiddo and we talk about how the gateway was where the judges sat and was the central gathering place for important functions. Once again the Book of Ruth tells us that Boaz’s redeeming of her and the levirate marriage that he took the place of her deceased husband in place of the other relatives all took place in the sha’ar gateway of the city.

Finally of course whenever we are in Chevron, the city where her grandson King David ruled before Jerusalem for 7 years, we stop off at her grave there, as well as her grandson Yishai, who is next to her. It would seem that Dovid brought her there to be buried in his capital and where she remains until today. Certainly before Shavuot many flock to her grave to pray before we read her  great Book and story. So I may not be awake when they read it in synagogue, but don’t worry we speak about her plenty here in Israel.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S  CONVERSION JOKES OF THE WEEK

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read
to him. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone voice he claimed,

"WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He
was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out
of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says,

"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start." 

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy.There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy. If the Pope won, they would have to leave or convert. The Jewish people met and picked an aged, but wise, Rabbi Moshe to represent them in the debate. However, as Moshe spoke no Italian and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they all agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.

On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi Moshe sat opposite each other. The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Rabbi Moshe looked back and raised one finger. Next ... the Pope waved his finger around his head. Rabbi Moshe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. Rabbi Moshe pulled out an apple.
With that, the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten ... that Rabbi  Moshe was too clever and that the Jews could stay in Italy.

Later, the Cardinals met with the Pope, asking what had happened. The Pope said,

 "First, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He had me beaten at my every move and I could not continue.”

Meanwhile ... the Jewish community was gathered around Rabbi Moshe.

 "How did you win the debate?" they asked. "I haven't a clue," said Moshe. "First he said to me that we had three days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger! Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I said to him we're staying right here."

“And then what?" asked a woman. "Who knows?" said Moshe, "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."

Abe and Shlomo are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic Church. They see a big sign posted that says: - ‘CONVERT TO CATHOLICISM AND GET $200.00’
Abe stops walking and stares at the sign.
Shlomo turns to him and says, “Abe, what’s going on?”
“Shlomo,” replies Abe, “I’m thinking of doing it.”
Shlomo says, “What, are you crazy?”
Abe thinks for a minute and says, “Shlomo, I’m going to do it.”
With that, Abe strides purposely into the church and comes out 20 minutes later with his head bowed.

“So,” asks Shlomo, “did you get your $200.00?”
Abe looks up at him and says, “Is that all you people think of?”

Yankel Cohen decided he’s had enough of Judasim and its poverty and its associated persecution so he converts and decided to become a priest. After months of study he is finally ready and he gets up to give his first Mass in front of a number of high ranking priests who came for the occasion.
At the end of the new priest's sermon, a cardinal goes up to congratulate him.
"Pastor Cohen," he said, "That was very well done, you were just perfect. But next time, please don't start your sermon with, "Fellow Goyim..."

Christine and Daniel fall in love and decide to get married - but only on condition that Christine becomes Jewish. So she goes to see Rabbi Levy for some advice.
Rabbi Levy tells her, "You will have to learn how to keep a kosher home, light shabbes candles, keep two sets of crockery and a few other simple things."
"That sounds easy to me, rabbi," says Christine, "I can easily do that."
Then Rabbi Levy says, "The last thing is, you must go to a mikva."
"A mikva?" says Christine, "what's that?"
"It's a pool of water," answers Rabbi Levy, "and you must immerse yourself completely for a few seconds."
"I'm sorry, rabbi, but I have a phobia about putting my head underwater. I'll go into the water up to my chin but I won’t put my head under the water. Will that be OK?"
"I suppose it will do," replies Rabbi Levy, "you’ll be mostly Jewish but you will still have a 'Goyisha kop'."

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Answer is A – This is a confusing question that the consensus on my tour guide whatsapp group that I posed it to seems to think they – as in the ministry of tourism- who wrote this exam messed up. As far as all can agree there is no eagle lookout place in Israel. The Eagles are not indigenous to here and one would probably see them migrating either in Eilat or Hula where the migration goes through. And being that one can’t choose both answers so that is not what they meant. The other option is that there are places where one can see vultures in Israel they are raised in Gamla and Mt. Carmel by the Hai- Bar animal reserve. That is probably what they meant as the right answer. But they wrote eagle instead of Vulture because in old biblical texts and even English translation the word nesher- as in Hashem will bring us on the “wings of ______” the blank is usually entered as eagles. That’s wrong though. Eagles are not neshers, vultures are. Vultures have the longest wingspan and are the highest flying bird. All of the signs our sages tell us about the nesher fit with vultures and not eagles. So the MOT must have google translated or something nesher and came up with eagle instead of vulture. I dunno… but definitely I believe anyone who took this exam should get credit for this question.