This Land is My Land- Korach 2015/5775

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

June 20^th 2015 -Volume 5, Issue 32 -2^nd Tamuz 5775

Parshat Korach

This Land is my Land

I enjoy it when people send me their comments about my weekly blog. I look forward to them. Someone’s reading what I wrote. Cool! I know that there are over 1600 people that receive this each week. But really it’s looooong. Too long, if you ask me. Who has time for this? Certainly not my kids when I read it by my Shabbos table each week. SO I never know who’s reading it or not. Certainly I hope more than are offering to sponsor it each week J. So when I get your comments, or feedback it inspires me to stay up late Thursday night after an exhausting day of touring, or to beg off from helping my wife get ready for Shabbos because “ my audience is waiting for my E-Mail”. Thanks you for that excuse JJ.

Now even more than the regular feedback I get, I like even more when someone actually addresses something I wrote, even more so when they have in issue with what I wrote. And they didn’t’ even unsubscribe. Really cool! It means that you actualy do more than just skip down to the jokes, or the Youtube clips. I appreciate those comments so much I decided to dedicate this week’s Email to one of them and share it with you. Of course it will tie into the Parsha. But you usually skip past that part. Y’know as soon as I write the sentence “This Week’s Parsha” is your weekly cue to head down to the jokes.

So here’s the letter from my dear friend R.

“Hello Rabbi Schwartz, I just read your Dvar Torah from last week. As always, my family enjoys your weekly DT and your amusing sense of humor.”  This is always  a good way to start of letter to me. Not only complimenting my DT but my humor as well. Also avoid any criticism of my grammar and spelling or lack thereof.

“However, within this weeks remarks, you wrote:  Thank God it’s not America or something similar.”  OK so the exact quote, not that I disagree with the context and your inference, merely for clarity purpose was “What does it take to be a good tourist in Israel. The first thing is to realize that you're not in America. I usually say thank God after that sentence. And you should too.”

R. Continues- “Perhaps you meant to say something very positive about Israel but this remark came across as a pejorative and denigrating comment about the country in which you were born and the country that if it did not exist, Israel would not exist.  With all its faults, it is still one of , if not THE greatest countries on earth.”

R. I feel your pain. I hear your patriotism. I’ll address them. But before I do. I must take umbrage as well. Israel existed long before 1948 and even before 1776 as ancient as that may seem to most Americans. If you don’t believe me come I’ll take you on a tour. Israel has existed and even the State of Israel would exist with or without the great US of A- where I was born and which I truly love and appreciate and which has done a tremendous amount for this country since it’s founding. Some presidents and State Departments more and some less. OK maybe not State Departments…oops did I just do that again… But our continued existence is certainly not dependent and has never been dependent on the grace of any country, rather it is the Grace of God. Hashem, who promised this place to us and wants all of us here. Here in what is really THE GREATEST COUNTRY on earth. How painful it is to hear a fellow Jew say otherwise.

R. concludes “I am only writing this, because, when you visited her, you also made some “off the cuff” remarks that seemingly “dissed” the American Shabbos experience as well.  I know you love the State of Israel and I understand your desire to share that love with others. But I would think it is probably safe to say that there may have been other times your remarks have been somewhat disparaging of the US. I wish you continued success in all that you do and look forward to reading more of your Divrei Torah.”

Thank you R. I look forward to your comments as well and visiting again if you’ll have me back J. Again just for clarities sake for our readers who are eagerly reading our communication. When I visited I mentioned something that I have said quite often and share with my tourists and audiences and possibly even said in one of these weekly missives. What I said was that after I returned to America a few years after making Aliya I felt that Shabbos in the States wasn’t the real deal. There were people that were Shabbos Observant, that went to Shul, that even ate chulent. But it just felt artificial to me. What I described it like was Splenda. In Israel You really feel it in the air, the streets, in one prayers. It’s the place were most meant to observe the Shabbos. The country becomes transformed and it really feels palatable. That was my comment and I stand by it. Does this disparage the United States of America. I don’t think so. America isn’t a place where Shabbos is supposed to be felt in the air. It would be like saying that Chinese food, in America isn’t the real chop suey, Or that California wines are not as good as a real French Bordeaux and their beers aren’t German Lagers. Spirituality and God in America exist and are even good. Bur for a Jew who’s soul knows better, only Eretz Yisrael is the real deal.

Notice how I used the words Eretz Yisrael. The Land Of Israel. Say it a few times and close your eyes while you do and you will feel your heart start to stir and your soul start to long. You know I’m right. I didn’t say the State of Israel, though. And to be honest, I admit, in many ways I believe that the United States, my birthplace and a country that I do feel very connected with has a lot over the State of Israel. In fact when I used to bring groups here all the time we would visit Rabbi Wein, the former head of the OU and a Rabbi and Jewish leader and historian for many years in the America. My tourists would ask him what they could do for Israel and he would give the same response every year. The one thing Israel needs more than anything else, he would say, is a Western mind-set. A western mindset on every issues almost. Whether its security- the US wouldn’t let anyone throw missiles on them repeatedly (note the last gulf war around 80,000 civilian non-combatants-meaning innocent men, women and children were killed. You know what the US said at the time “Shock and Awe!- I’m just saying..). Whether it’s on concepts of transparency in government, ethics. Concepts of pluralism, respect for diversity, ethics of working, education, customer service. There are a myriad of things that the State of Israel could improve upon and needs an “American” mindset on. So if you want to help Israel, he concluded. Move here. We need you.

In my statements and in my E-Mails I rarely address the State of Israel- which don’t get me wrong I love and appreciate as well, despite its not yet recognized full potential and glaring failings.  I talk about Eretz Yisrael. I also don’t speak about America, in general as well. I speak about Jews in America. Jews sense of connection to America- as “the greatest country on Earth. Jews disconnect with the soul of our people, with our history, our Divine mandate and the place where we are meant to see it all fulfilled. It’s that for which I write about. It’s that about which I hope to inspire…or at least provoke.

Which of course brings us to this week’s portion- cue to exit now and skip to jokes. This week the Torah goes to great lengths to tell us the story of Korach and his congregation that make a mistake of picking a fight with the wrong prophets; Moshe and Aharon. Korach claims that the entire nation is holy so why is it that Moshe chose someone else to lead my family. He starts a fight with various claims that eventually lead to heresy in the Torah being revealed to Moshe. The Midrash describes two cases that he utilizes to prove that the Jewish people do not even need a class of leaders. A garment that is entirely made out of the blue Techelet, should not need any strings upon it as it made out of the entirely blue string that reminds one of Hashem. The other case he mentions is a house that is full of Torah scrolls should not require a Mezuza as it is full of Hashem’s name. In a nutshell what Korach is arguing is that we do not need a Kohen class or perhaps even a Levi class or a leader or a prophet. We’re all created equal and we all heard Hashem on Sinai. Holiness is in all of us. This is quite a spiritual argument. One may disagree but he certainly seems to be someone who wants to see the holiness in each Jew and connect to Hashem.  

What is quite perplexing is that Korach’s compatriots in his fight are perhaps two of the biggest trouble makers in Jewish history; Datan and Aviram. It is they that snitched on Moshe, it is they that went to go pick up the Manna on Shabbos, by the splitting of the Sea they also tried to instigate the people to return to Egypt. These are not good people to have on your team. These two lay the claim squarely not only at Moshe’s feet but even disparage the holy notion of Israel. “It’s enough you have taken us out of land flowing with milk and honey (Egypt!), to have us die in this wilderness... You have not brought us to a land of Milk and Honey nor given us a field or vineyard.” They conclude that even if their eyes will be poked out they would not make go up to the land- they would not make Aliya. How painful is it to hear a Jew say those words. How tragic is it when a Jew calls another country. Any other country a land of Milk and Honey. It is these guys that Moshe prays to Hashem to kill in a way that the world will know forever. With Korach Moshe tries to get him to see the error of his ways. But these two clowns Moshe demands everyone leave the house of these wicked people. What is Korach doing hanging around with these guys? What can he possibly have in common with them?

The answer I believe is that in the same way that Korach didn’t understand why there was a necessity and that part of the Divine plan was for there to be an intermediary of a Kohen, a Levi, a prophet and a Moshe between Hashem and the people. Someone who can connect us as we remain down here to Hashem up above. The argument that we do not need a particular country to have that special connection as well is that natural progression as well. America- I mean Egypt is also “flowing with milk and honey”. There’s Yeshivos here in the wilderness, in the Diaspora. Synagogues that are much nicer than those supposed vineyards and fields that have yet to be realized in Israel. Hashem, Judaism and living meaningful Jewish lives can happen anywhere without any special Rabbi, intermediary or place. That was the mistake. That was the common denominator.

Judaism was never meant to be a religion. It was designed and is meant to be a mission. It is not about my personal spiritual fulfillment or my connection with Hashem even. It was and is about bringing the world to its fulfillment, creating a home for Hashem here on this earth and raising this world up to him. There is spirituality and physicality, or as the works of Kabalah and Chasidut describe the notion of raising up the sparks of holiness that are hidden amongst the hiddenness of the world. We are made up of a human earthy physical nature and a Divine soul that was sent here to raise the world up. The Kohen, the Prophet, the Levi and particularly Moshe are all meant to be the bridge between Hashem and us. We bring them our fruits, our offerings. They bring us Hashem’s word assist us with our atonement. We remain in the physical world but we lift it up through them. Similarly Eretz Yisrael is the place that serves as the bridge to shine Hashem’s light out to the rest of the world. The land is like our Kohen. We are meant to live in it practice Mitzvos here, create a functioning physical society, with Kings, Courts, Farmers, Computers Hi-Tech, even Rabbis, lawyers and tour guides. But all who live a life that has a Shabbos that testifies to our Creator. That observes the Shemitta year, that gives its tithes to the poor, that wear Teffilin and that keep Kosher. In a nutshell that live a life that proclaims out Hashem’s name in everything that we do. In the land that was we were meant to do it in.

Korach doesn’t see that slippery road. And in the end as the Midrash notes he joined Datan and Aviram who said they would not “go up” and instead they went straight down- in a great lesson in watch what you say. They become swallowed up by the earth, because having destroyed the bridge to heaven the only thing that remains is the gateway to Gehenom.

We enter the month of Tamuz. The summer is here. Many have vacation and time that they can spend with their family. When I lived in the States I would take my summers and travel all over. Camping out in the hills of Montana and Oregon. Rafting in the West Viriginia, Disney World, Blue Ridge Mountains, Wisconsin Dells, Minneapolis, The Big Apple, New England and even down South. From California to New York Island, the Redwood forest to the Gulf Stream waters. But as much as I loved it and was enthralled by the beauty of my former home. I realized unlike Woody Guthrie  in his song, this land is not the land that was made for you and me..

Hoping all of the Jewish people realize it soon as well.

Have a authentically awesome Shabbos,

,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

This Land is Mine the Jewish version with Andy Williams cool!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTqMs58mMwU

Awesome new song! Arrangements by my favorite arranger Yitz Berry J

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sr4jSBlk7rM  

And another cool song and video Shwekey classic Eis Rikod!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huTq8hWT5pE

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

While in the states I picked up a great book with yiddsh quotes and wisdom and I have always wanted to teach my kids Yiddish so here we go each week another great proverb in yiddish maybe you guys will learn it too!!

“A falsheh matba’ieh farliert men nit..”-  One never loses a counterfeit coin.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FAVORITE QUOTES  OF THE WEEK

“"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it."- George Bernard Shaw .”.

“" 'My country, right or wrong', is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a 

desperate case. It is like saying, 'My mother, drunk or sober'.- G. K. Chesterton

"When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home."- Sir Winston Churchill

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

(New exam this week these questions are from the most recent tour guide exam-let’s see how I do)

answer below at end of Email

The study of Archeology

A.    The digging of old civilizations

B.     Excavation of ancient artifacts

C.     The study of the societal remains and physical artifacts of ancient cultures

D.    The study of the past solely through the examination of earthenware

.RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL MIDRASH OF THE WEEK

Staying on the theme of Torah punishments and the Midrashic descriptions. This week the Midrash describes Korach, Dasan and Aviram being swallowed up by the earth with their tents and their entire families. The Midrash notes that although their children may not have done anything wrong. Yet when it comes to Machlokes/Fighting than the inevitable result is that will seep down and impact ones children and family as well. The midrash notes that all they had were swallowed up as well It says even if they possesions in other places they were also swallowed up. Even their clothing at the laundromat. Another Midrash suggests any document that had their names on it automatically was erased. Again the consequence of fighting is that there will be no memory left of you. The Verse tells us that Moshe prayed that Korach should be swallowed up alive. The Midrash quotes a story of on of the great Talmudic sages Rabba Bar Channa who Eliyahu Hanavi (Disguised as an arab) showed him where they were buried. He saw two holes coming up from ground and he stuck in some cotton on a piece of wood that came out singed. When he listened he heard them saying the words. “Moshe Emes VToraso Emes. Moshe is True and his Torah is true “. The AriZl Sais this is the reason why Moshe requested that they should be swallowed alive so that they would be able to repent even after being swallowed. He notes te words Tzadik KaTamar Yifrach the Righteous will sprout out like a date palm the last letter of each word TzadiK KatamaR YifraCH spell out Korach who will arise when Mashiach come as a date palm having done Teshuva.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL THINGS TO DO IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Pray your deepest Prayers. –Hashem is here, Hashem is there Hashem is truly everywhere the song goes. But everywhere else, the joke goes, it’s a long distance call here in Israel it’s a local call. I had the privilege this week of having a tourist that came to Israel for the sole purpose of praying. This is the country where they feel most connected to Hashem. You are in the Kings Palace over here. You just don’t get that sense anywhere else. Whether it’s to find your Bashert, prayers for fertility, health, parnasah and salvations. Or merely, or perhaps most significantly to ask Hashem to help you feel closer to Him, more god-fearing, more righteous. This is the country to do it in. Every religion has their special place to pray. But we are the only ones that have an entire country, whose entire existence and creation was to serve as the place where man could best connect with his Creator. Isn’t that cool?

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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S AMERICAN JOKES OF THE WEEK

Signs you are in America

a pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance.
-- there are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
-- Sick people must walk to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front.
-- Banks leave both vault doors open, but pens are chained to the counters.
-- Expensive cars sit in the driveways and useless junk fills garages.
-- people use voice mail to screen calls and call waiting to catch every call they might miss.
-- Drive-Up ATM machines feature Braille lettering

True Story-On a recent trip to Washington, D.C.my friend overheard a patriotic father pointing out a well-known building to his son.

"You see that triangular-shaped octagon over there? That's the Pentagon.

Another true story- An American tourist last summer asks me quite innocently: "It's the 4th of July tomorrow. How do you guys celebrate it here?" OYYY.. I love America..

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Answer is C: There’s not to many places you can drive in this country that archeological digs are not taking place. Thousands of years of almost every major civilization in history lived here. Universities from all over the world send their archeological teams here and this is the country where doctorates are made in early studies. Archeology does have digging and excavating and does examine pottery but the best answer is the Answer C. This is a pretty easy question. Shame if you got it wrong.

Bad Tourists- Shelach 2015/5775

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

June 12^th 2015 -Volume 5, Issue 31 -25^th Sivan 5775

Parshat Shelach

Bad Tourists

Don't let the title fool you. There really is no such thing. Tourists are always a good thing…especially the ones that I am lucky enough to guide. We spent a lot of time in tour guiding school learning how to be a good tour guide. They taught us a lot of information. We covered everything from geology, botany, wildlife, thousands of years of history, archeology architecture and even other religions. We also spent some time on how to be a good tour guide how to present information, how to plan itineraries, know where the bathrooms are, where the good restaurants are (I didn't really need them to teach me thatJ) and fun activities to do are. Sadly though the one lesson that they didn’t really give to us but I think is a worthwhile lesson to learn is how to teach people how to be good tourists. You can be the best tour guide in the world but if your tourists don't know how to be good tourists you may have a hard time giving them the maximum experience that they deserve. There aren't really any bad tourists. But not everyone is a good one either.

So what does it take to be a good tourist in Israel. The first thing is to realize that you're not in America. I usually say thank God after that sentence. And you should too. Don't let all the signs in English here fool you. Actually the signs are pretty much a dead giveaway being that for some reason they can't seem to be able to spell properly and they have some type of fetish with the letter "Q" that they just love to stick randomly in the names of cities here. A not- good tourist, will consistently start sentences with the words "But in America we have______" fill in the blank. This is not America. You came here to experience your country. Think of it like your home. When you visit someone else's house you never say "but in our house we have…." Why not? Because you’re there to visit their house. Here you're actually coming to visit your own house and your own country and therefore you may feel that you can compare it to your place back in the States, but it will just take away from the experience of you appreciating this to be your real home. You’re better off thinking of it as if this the time-share you’re visiting for a vacation. You wouldn't focus on the things that you are missing there or some of the amenities you may not have. Just take in the vacation. I know this feels like home and it's easy to complain at home. But if you want to be a good tourist and get the most out of your time here…don't.

A second thing that you should do if you really want to be a good tourist is to give yourself a spiritual experience while you're here. You wouldn't go to France without tasting the wine, or Italy without having a pizza or some pasta, or Poland without visiting a gas chamber. (sorry about that one…but it's true). You want to see what the best or worst the country has to offer and what really defines it. Israel is the Holy Land. So try to get holy here. You can probably do a lot of fun things in a lot of places. But it is really only here that you can do truly holy things. What’s really great is that here you can make most things holy and spiritual experiences. The countryside, the historic sites, the people, even the fun activities be they jeeping, rafting, rappelling scuba diving all can and should be opportunities to appreciate this special land that Hashem promised us and whose "eyes are upon it from the beginning of the year until the end". Taste the country, the Jewish food, the wines make blessings and experience the fruits that Hashem has blessed more than any other in the world. All Blessings we make are meant to conjure up the land of Israel. Now you are tasting it that should be awesome as well. Totally Godly awesome.

The last tip perhaps to being a good tourist is to come here with the right attitude. Israelis are different than you. They react different; they have different priorities, different backgrounds and different values and expectations. They can be frustrating at times, ridiculous, rude and perhaps even seem aggressive. They did serve in the army….all of them…for you to have Jewish country to visit (see it even rubbed off on meJJ). So it's somewhat natural for them perhaps to behave and treat you differently than the polite 75 year old retiree in Walmart that thanks you for shopping there and gives you a little smiley sticker as he double bags your groceries. See but there's something else as well. That differentiates him from the guy in Walmart. The guy or girl over here are actually your brother and sister. We're family. And although it may be hard to believe it anyone of them would give their life for you although they may not let you get ahead of them in line or in the parking lot, and each one of them truly cares about your health, your family, you children and will pray for you celebrate with you and in times of tragedy mourn with you. We're Mishpocha. We feel it here between ourselves and we feel it with all Jews that visit us whether they say it or act that way or not. Family isn't always the politest to one another. In fact they're usually more polite to non-family members (which is why the Christians that come here never really complainJ). But it sure is always nice to know that you have them there for you.

What makes me talk about tourists this week? Well it is actually the Torah portion of the first Jewish "Tourists" that came to the land. Although we have gone through half of the Book of Shemot and the entire Leviticus and plenty of Bamidbar our Parsha takes place a mere year after the Exodus as we are about to approach the land of Israel. Moshe sends in 12 individuals, the leaders of the tribes to ______ the land. Now if I asked you to fill in that blank I'm sure most of you would write spy out the land. However if one looks at the verses, not once is the word spy which would be Li'Ragel used to describe their mission. In fact as opposed to spying the commandment was for them to Tour the land or pass through (the Hebrew word in fact is La'tour". Go for a pleasant trip, was what they were meant to do. Sure, see all the sites and the big cities and the people there and the fruits and lands. Find out all that fun information because it should get you excited about the land and the great miracles that will take place there. Be good tourists".

Sadly though the men did not have a great tour guide that really gave them these important tips. They went to spy on the land. They went to see if it was worthwhile and comparable to that super place they had in the desert where they would sing God Bless Amer…I mean the wilderness...each day as they raised their flags. They missed Tip one. They also seemingly forgot about the the spiritual experience that would take place in Israel. No longer would life be about the great classes that Moshe and Joshua would give in the Desert and the glory of God in the tabernacle. Their new job would be finding spirituality in everything. In the field, in their work, on their trips, in their future falafel stands.  Yup they didn't realize that tourists have to look for the spirituality in everything. Finally Finally, they forgot the last tip. They saw this country as a place inhabited by a strong powerful people that seemingly they felt they would never be able to get out of here. They forgot. That it is our home. They're just babysitters here until we go back to the land promised to our forefathers…to our family. They forgot the power that a family united has to bring down the Divine assistance necessary to restore us to our land. They forgot that a family homestead is one that you can never walk away from.

It is interesting that the end of the Torah Portion when it teaches the mitzvah of Tzitzit, the fringes we wear on our fur cornered garments, it tells us that we wear the so that we shall not "tour after our hearts and our eyes which we tend to stray after". Life as well, even outside of the land of Israel, even when we cannot go to Israel, has a challenge of us being "good tourists" too. We can keep our eye on the heavenly ball, and remember we are here to maximize our experience on this world. To connect to the essence of our souls and our existence, to lift ourselves up higher each day and to rejoice in our family and in the world that will connect us to eternity. Or we can be not such good tourists. We can stray after negativity, temporary short quick fixes, meaningless and frivolous sparks or the pursuit of things that we know will never make us happy but somehow the world seems to be on a non-stop trajectory to achieve. Our tzitzit remind us that we are covered. There are commandments that give us direction. 613 of them the Torah (wonder if it as well has anything to do with the word Tour) But it truly is the ultimate guide book for life; the tour-guide book for a meaningful existence…A Roadmap back home.

The punishment for the failure of the spies and the Jewish people is that we were told that the day when we needlessly mourned will always be a day of mourning. The Temples were both destroyed on that 9^th day of Av. Each time we truly did not really appreciate what the temples were, what our homeland was…what we were meant to be here. The sin of being spies instead of tourists here, of negatively interacting with the country and our land as opposed to building it into a home where Hashem's presence shines out to the world still hasn't been fully rectified. So come on and be good tourists and give your good friend here a visit. Your Father wants to see you.

Have a marvelous Shabbos,

,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

 Top ten signs you’re an american tourist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKWGNNlVJjc

The Simpsons visit Israel with a bad Israeli tour guide…

http://www.aish.com/j/jt/90920329.html

 Probably one Israels worst tourism campaigns..

https://youtu.be/tmmAGSGZq9U

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

While in the states I picked up a great book with yiidsh quotes and wisdom and I have always wanted to teach my kids Yiddish so here we go each week another great proverb in yiddish maybe you guys will learn it too!!

“Got iz a foter; dos mazel iz a shtif-foter.”- God is a father; luck is a stepfather.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FAVORITE QUOTES  OF THE WEEK

““The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.” ”.
~ Steven Wright

“"There's nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home." -- Stephen Colbert

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

(New exam this week these questions are from the most recent tour guide exam-let’s see how I do)

answer below at end of Email

The following animals are from the amphibian species

A.    Newt, Salamander, Tree frog

B.     Turtle, Frog, Toad

C.     Tilapia, Carp, Eel

D.    Catfish, Salamander, Hula Painted frog

.RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL MIDRASH OF THE WEEK

This week’s Torah portion is a lesson that all parents try to teach their children. Actions have consequences. The spies who spoke badly about the land of Israel were punished according to the vivid description of the Midrash that their tongues stretched and came out of their mouths and worms came out of them which climbed down into their navels and then ate them up from the inside. Cool! Now you see  why I liked Midrash so much as a child J. The Iyun Yaakov explains that this is Mida Kneged Mida that their tongues spoke evil and thus the worms came out and they spoke about Israel which is considered like the navel of the world. So now I live in a belly button. Hmmm…

On the other hand the Midrash tells us that Yehoshua and Calev who spoke positively about the land inherited the portion of the other ten spies in Israel. Yehsohua however more than Calev also received their portion in the world to come. The reason suggests the commentaries  suggest is that Yehoshua came from the tribe of Yosef, who had a natural tendency and challenge with speaking Lashon Hara as seen with his brothers. So since it was even harder for him to overcome this challenge-Which according to the Midrash seems to run in his blood, he was rewarded spiritually with their portions in the world to come-which interestingly enough is symbolized by the addition of the letter Yud to his name which in Gematria is 10- he absorbed the ten spies portion.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL THINGS TO DO IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

See Shmita fields. –The year is almost half way over and it is really amazing to drive around the country and see fields that have all types of crops growing on them all covered with grass and weeds. There is big signs that hang over these fields. “THIS FIELD IS OBSERVING SHEMITTA”. How amazing and inspiring it is to think of these incredible farmers that give up their entire livelihood for a year. That see their 6 years hard worked fields become wild and unkempt. Imagine if there was a mitzvah to leave your office hefker/ ownerless for a year, anyone could come in and take what they wanted. Your clients, your computers, your office chair. To a large degree this is what Shemitta is. The only way this is possible for someone to do is if he truly believes that his livelihood comes from Hashem. That we are only here in this land for one primary reason and that is to declare this faith in Him to the world. And they are doing exactly that. As am I when I point this out to tourists all week long. This is more than just cool this is totally awesome!

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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S  ZELIG ARMY JOKES OF THE WEEK

Zelig joined the Israeli army. After his months of training he had come to his final exam. His commanding officer asked him

“Zelig, What would you do if you are on the front lines and three enemy soliders starts shooting at you?”

“I would shoot back” said Zelig

“And if 10 soliders came out and started shooting at you what would you do then?”

“I would shoot back” Zelig once again responded

And if 100 soldiers came out and started shooting at you what would do?”

“Excuse me” Zelig asked “But why am I the only one in this Army…”

The next question Zelig did even worse on. The seargant told the troop the plans to conquer Iran.

“Wait a minute” Zelig said “ How many soldiers do they have?’

“Close to a million” the Officer said.

“Forget about it” Zelig responded “We don’t have anything to do with that many prisoners.”

Finally after serving a few months Zelig had enough. So each day he went to the Camp Psychiatrist’s office and started looking through papers on the floor and the garbage. Each day the Doctor asked him what he is looking for and Zelig would say that he’s looking for his paper, he needs his paper. Finally convinced that he was losing it. The Psychiatrist wrote him his mental condition exemption papers. Zelig got up and announced. “These were the papers I was looking for J”

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Answer is A: And now for the wildlife part of our tour guide Exam. Ok What’s an amphibian? They are animals that can live in both the water and the ground. And start off in the water which unlike reptiles they need to breed  and start their lives in until their lungs or air-breathing skin develops. So if you know this than it shouldn’t be to hard. C & D are obviously wrong because they have fish choices. A turtle is kind of tricky but it is not considered an amphibian as it needs to have air to breathe and does not lay eggs under water. So the correct answer is A. This is also very important information for you to know before you come to Israel. As I will not be talking about amphibians and reptiles anatomy and breeding on any of my tours. J

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Hungry Heart- Behalotcha 5775/2015

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

June 6^th 2015 -Volume 5, Issue 30 -11^th Iyar 5775

Parshat Behaloscha

Hungry Heart

 

My wife is a fantastic cook. I knew that before I got married. Her Mother is as well. It runs in their blood. I was looking for someone that was a good cook. As King Solomon writes in his beautiful Psalm Eishet Chayil which we recite Friday Nights. Sheker HaChayn V’Hevel Hayofi- Grace is false and beauty is worthless… Beauty comes and goes but a good cook that’s foreverJ. OK he doesn’t actually come to the same conclusion. He writes something about a woman who fears God should be praised. And I’m all for that as well. But trust, me, He was a King and had the best chefs in the world. I’m sure if he was a simple guy like me, who can’t afford a great chef, he would have also praised a wife that is a good cook. I lucked out because I got me a wife that’s not only a good cook, but who’s full of chen, beauty and of course God fearing. It’s not for naught that Hashem watches over fools. Happy Birthday dear.

Now I wasn’t skinny before I got married, but my wife’s cooking certainly hasn’t helped me out. Although G-d bless her she tries very hard to make nutritious healthy meals. Yet I just can’t get enough of those not as healthy Shabbos leftovers it seems. My tourists ask me how with all the tours and hikes that I do each week, how I’m able to remain in that delightfully robust shape- yes a circle is a shape as well. And the answer I give them is that it is not easy, but that’s what Shabbos is for. I know somebody told me once that one doesn’t gain weight on Shabbos. They have obviously never had Shabbos by the Schwartz home. Smelling Aliza’s chulent alone can put inches on your waist. Here in Israel you have the added benefit of eating about fifty five different dips and salads with challa even before you start your fish and soup-with croutons of course. Yup a good rebbetzin’s cooking and Shabbos meals-three of them, are just not on any diet plan. I’ve seen. The upside though is that Shabbos eating is of course a Mitzva. A Mitzvah that I would like to talk about this week.

You see once we’re on the topic of eating, let’s take a week at this week’s Torah portion, particularly what seems to be a turning point for the Jewish people as they venture out on what was meant to be a short journey to the Promised Land, a few days or so, but seemed to have gotten off to the wrong start. The narrative part of our Parsha after describing the mitzva of lighting up- Behaalotcha- of the Menora by Aharon takes a turn to describing our departure from Sinai into the wilderness. We bring our first  Pesach offering and the people who are impure are granted fascinatingly enough the ability to bring it a month later when they become purified. Cool! It would really stink to have to miss out on that BBQ. The truth is Rashi tells us that this was the only one that was brought their entire sojourn in the wilderness until they arrived in Israel. It continues with a description of the traveling instructions. Trumpets to call everyone clouds and pillars and Arks to follow and the formations. Yisro, Moshe’s father-in-law leaves and the trip begins. And like every good trip. So does the Kvetching.

First we are told about the MisOninim- the complainers. It doesn’t tell us explicitly in the text who they are and what they are complaining about. Rashi brings two views they are either the mixed multitude of Egyptians that joined the people or on the opposite extreme they were the great people of the camp. It doesn’t seem to matter a much. A kvetch is a kvetch. And Hashem doesn’t seem to like Kvetches. It’s something we have in common, God and I JJ. In fact some of the commentaries connect this story to the next text were it describes the Asafsuf this multitude or gathering of people that were complaining about the Manna. They longed for meat. The Torah’s description is that they were Hitavu Taa’va- they desired a desire. Yes, the Manna tasted like anything you wanted. But they seemed to long for that good old Egyptian food. The fish, the pickles, onions and garlic and melons. They wanted steak. Huh? Really?! My memory is not the greatest. But as far as I remember from Pesach seder story. Egypt was not serving anything too remarkable. Think Auschwitz times a million. The Torah itself seems to express it’s shock by telling how delicious the Manna was. Ok maybe it wasn’t Mama Cleopatra’s cooking. But really. It reached an extent this desire for a desire that Jews were literally crying outside of their tents. We’re three days away from Sinai. This is not a good thing.

What makes this story and the previous complaining story so fascinating is Hashem’s response to it. We are told that he sends out a fire and burns up some of the trouble makers. As if to say-you asked for a BBQ- here you got one. And then Moshe himself turns to Hashem and pleads to stop the flames and then is ready to turn in his staff and quit unless Hashem provides meat for the people. Again very very strange. Rule one of dealing with kvetchy people is not to give them what they want. It reinforces their behavior. I’m not saying that you should necessarily fry them. Hashem said that. But don’t go asking for meat for them. Even stranger when Hashem tells Moshe essentially “If that’s what they want-I’ll give them meat in a Divinely passive aggressive like way- until it comes out of their noses for a full month. Moshe pulls out his calculator and starts figuring out if this is really possible. Until Hashem assures him he’s good for his word.

This has to be one of the strangest narratives in the Torah.

Strange gets stranger, when this entire story continues and is seemingly interrupted with Hashem coming down in a cloud of glory and telling Moshe to gather in 70 elders and to they all start to prophesize in the Mishkan and two guys even start prophesizing in the camp. When Yehoshua/Joshua starts getting nervous about this Moshe reassures him that all of the Jewish people could become prophets and it’s a good thing. The screen than flashes back to the camp where people are running around gathering 10 donkey loads of quail that seems to be dropping all over the camp until the party ends after a month with a great plague and blow to the people. In the Torah’s words once again. While the meat was still between their teeth. What a way to go…The story concludes with the naming of the place Kivrot HaTaava- The graves of Desire Because they buried there the nation that had desired. And thus the story concludes.

The 16^th century sage of Tzfat, Rabbi Moshe Alshich, in his great work gives some beautiful insights into these puzzling narratives. He suggests that the leaving of Sinai and the intensity of the Spiritual revelation and their existence there, left some of the people overwhelmed. Man is made of meat and is thereby attracted to meat. We like flesh and we like flaysh. Yet we also have a soul, a nefesh that is Divine that is meant to uplift us from our earthly physical meaty pursuits. It started he suggests with the kvetch. It didn’t make a difference what it was. It was the lack of realization of how uplifting our connection with Hashem and our spirituality can be. But once you start kvetching you have distanced yourself from the essence of who we are. We lose our soul and we allow our body to rule us. The punishment of the MisOninim was that a fire came out. The fire of Hashem that was meant to uplift them turned them into ash. Burnt meat without a soul interestingly enough, he notes the place was called the burnt place because of the fire that burnt within them. A message was sent they each have as spark that can be fanned from the inside through holiness.

The next narrative as well he suggests has that same point. The people are asking for desire. Spirituality uplifts it fulfills. It completes a person. They were so used to Egypt. They had memories of the fish and smell of meat that was there and the desire their bodily urges had for it. They were slaves and they were like animals and no matter what garbage the Egyptians would feed them, they experienced it like a ten course meal. For they were meat eating meat. The Midrash suggests that Moshe saw the people crying by their tents about the illicit relations that they were missing out on.  Relationships without the spark of God. Relations that are purely physically driven.

Moshe recognizes that this is not about meat per say as much as it is about a rebooting of that Divine spark. The commentaries note that the Jews had quail falling each day before this story as it says in Shemos. They had plenty of sheep and cattle that they took with them from Egypt. We didn’t leave until we took all of our Shwarmas with us for the road. This was about this natural human drive and connection to his earthly animal side. Remember we were created on the same day of Creation as them. And our need to gather more and more in endless pursuit of desire that can satiate an animal without a Divine soul but can never fulfill and satisfy one created with the image and spirit of Hashem within him. So he tells Hashem that unless he changes things up he can’t lead. Moshe, the man and servant of God, can’t relate to this physical human drive anymore. It’s not his baby. He is sooooo soul whose physical has been so elevated after having gone up to heaven. The meat crisis is meaningless. Give them their meat and they will see and learn that it is not the meat. It’s the kvetch.

Hashem ones up Moshe though by the gathering of the 70 elders and officers. These elders and officers were in Egypt with the people. They put their backs on the line for the nation and took blows for them. They can share that holiness of yours and show them how the same spark rests in all of them. The spark of Moshe. The spark of Hashem. Even in the camp the two people begin to ignite in prophecy. Moshe is ecstatic, the nation of the prophets is born. Sure there are some who still go out and gather their meat. The Midrash suggests that the plague that struck hit each person who partook according to the level that they had sunk. The distance they had fallen. It hit those that couldn’t reboot the spark over the 30 days. The place was named The Grave of Desire because that desire that they sought was buried there. The Jewish nation reignited our soul. It’s not that we didn’t want meat anymore. But we understood that the meat was meant to raise us closer to Hashem.

He concludes his idea with Shabbos chulent. OK, he doesn’t really say the word chulent. But he does note that the 70 elders correspond to our 70 holy days. 52 shabbosos, 8 Days Sukkot, 7 days Pesach, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Shavuot. Each of these days are the times that the heavens open up and the spirit of Hashem comes down to us and reignites us from our daily physical lives. We leave the animal of the week and become the soul of Shabbos and Chagim. We have a mitzva to eat meat on these days (except Yom Kippur of course- but Erev Yom Kippur makes up for it). Because on these days the meat is eaten in honor of our elevated state. In honor of Creator and our purpose. In celebration of what we have become and what we can achieve. On Shabbos the biggest mitzvah is Oneg- enjoyment, pleasure. No kvetching allowed. Which is why it’s important to have a wife that can make a good chulent J. Because with a good chulent we can make the world a better place.

Have a delicious Shabbos,

,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

In honor of Unity Day  and the Gilad, Ayal and Naftali’s Yartzeit-the three martyrs that were murdered last year I give you a beautiful video made by boys in his Yeshiva

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKWGNNlVJjc

This is the song that I composed after the attack “Yizkaraym” the first part was after they were killed I felt it was too down and so around Rosh Hashana I composed the 2^nd part which is more upbeat and filled with hope.

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/yizkeraim

On a lighter note The late Late show James Corde visits a Kosher Butcherin Chicago-Good Shabos!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O-JBj7ECmg

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

While in the states I picked up a great book with yiidsh quotes and wisdom and I have always wanted to teach my kids Yiddish so here we go each week another great proverb in yiddish maybe you guys will learn it too!!

“Geshmak iz der fish oif yenems tish.”- Tasty is the fish from someone else’s table.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FAVORITE QUOTES  OF THE WEEK

“If God had not intended us to eat animals why did he make them out of meat?”.
~ John Cleese

“Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.”- Fran Lebowitz

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

(New exam this week these questions are from the most recent tour guide exam-let’s see how I do)

answer below at end of Email

Three rivers that form the largest watershed/drainage basin in Israel are?

A.    Kziv, Betzet, Na’aman

B.     Ayalon, Tzin, Kishon

C.     Jordan, Yarmouk, Yarkon

D.    Arava, Paran, Basor

.RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL MIDRASH OF THE WEEK

You know that question we ask by the Seder “Who knows 5?” well according to the Midrash this week the answer is not the 5 Book of the Torah, because the Midrash suggests that there are in fact 7 Books of the Torah. Which would be a better answer to “Who knows 7?” than the days of the Week. This week we in fact read from three of those books. We conclude the first Book of Bamidbar which goes up to the upside down letter “Nun” and then we read the verses that are familiar to everyone which is generally sung in fun synagogues like ours of Vayehi Binsoa Aron when when the Ark traveled Moshe would say Kuma Hashem-Rise up up Hashem and our enemies should flee from before us. And which includes with the verses of when the Ark would rest Moshe would invite Hashem to return to dwell amongst the 10’s of thousands of Israel. We than encounter another upside down “Nun”. And begin the next Book of the Torah until the conclusion of Bamidbar. To prove that this is its own Book the midrash notes that just as the first Pasuk of the Torah contains seven words the first Pasuk here does as well. Additionaly the Torah concludes with 12 words in its last verse and with the word Yisrael as does the end of this “Book” Even more mystically Rabbeinu Bachaya notes that this portion has the secret and essense of the entire world containing the idea that Hashem’s presence will go out to the world and the Jewish people will be the source of that blessing. He notes that the letter Alef appears 7 times which corresponds to what Kabbala tells us will be 7 thousand years of the plan of Creation. As Alef is the Hebrew word for 1000. The first 6000 until the world will reach its fulfillment and the 7 thousand Shabbos when it will be destroyed and rebuilt. Just as in the first verse of the Torah has 6 Alefs and then is followed by the verse and the land was empty and bare. Pretty cool. Huh?

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL THINGS TO DO IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Shoot Guns –Personally I have yet to shoot a gun. Although I’ve been at ranges here too many times to count with my tourists. Most kids and many adults feel this is one of the coolest things they can do on their trip here. See in America not too many people would consider going to a shooting range certainly not with their younger children or even teen age daughters. Yet being surrounded by soldiers all week along wherever you go in this country gives people some inspiration. Even those that have gone to ranges in the States certainly don’t think about shooting M16’s or Uzi’s. Yet here in the wonderful State of Israel, you can! And your kids can do. Interestingly enough Israeli citizens need a license to do this, but tourists just need a passport. (If you left yours in the hotel-I’m quite adept at looking at your face and Kabbalisticaly intuiting your passport number-just one of those skills I picked up J). There are some places that you can shoot target practice others, that have full blown counter-terrorism training programs and others where you just play paintball. Either way its definitely cool and you get to take your target home with you and show your friends back in the States. And that of course is most important of all to us tour guides that like referrals. Why haven’t I shot yet? I have nothing against it-I just remember how King David couldn’t build them Temple because he was a man of war who defended and saved the Jewish people in our Battles. And I kind of want to build the Temple. But I have been playing with the idea, specially if it ever gets dangerous in this country-maybe even as dangerous as New York, Chicago or Detroit. Yeah for you guys heading back to the dangerous places shooting a gun is a good skill to have.

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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S  LANGUAGE JOKES OF THE WEEK

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?

A: Beef jerky.

Q: What do you call a cow with no front legs?

A: Lean Beef

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?

A: Ground beef

 Q: What do you call a cow that has 2 legs?

 A: Side of beef

 Q: What do you call a cow that has 1 leg?

 A: Steak 

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?

 A: The calf-eteria.

This was a real blog conversation I found while doing extensive research on Beef Jokes and I quote

“I’d make a meat pun, but I ‘d probably butcher it..”

“At least it wasn’t a sausage joke. Those are the werst”

“Wurst spelling ever”

“Stop being such a weenie. Anyone could have made that mis-steak”

“Don’t be so apologetic you brat”

“I’m following this thread to stay-abreast of these puns”

“Good, I’ll be your wing-man”

“Great that way I won’t be a loin”

“He won’t support him, he’s full of bologna”

“That’s pretty cleaver”

“I’m bacon you to stop this thread already”

“C’mon, we’re just hamming around you”

“let’s try to keep this Kosher shall we?”

And on and on and on… oy what I won’t endure for you guys!

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Answer is D: This is a rough question. First what is a watershed/drainage basin. No it is not what our bathroom in shul looked like this past week although we did have a flood. It is basically where all the surface waters join join together into a lower elevation point. Now that you know this, the next thing you need to know is where all these rivers are or where the largest drainage basin is. The rivers kziv and betzet are familiar to me in the north west Galile.Naaman I never heard of but its actually not far from house in the lower galilee. Ayalon is near Beit Shemesh, Kishon is near Mt. Carmel and Tzin is in the Negev. Those are not close to one another so I imagine they can’t form the same water basin. Similarly Yarmouk and Jordan are together by the Jordan river but Yarkon near Tel Aviv isn’t so that rules out that one. But if you knew the geology of Israel than you would know of course that the Arava under The Dead Sea that gathers all the water from the Negev is the largest valley in Israel and the three rivers that flow there are Paran and Arava and the largest being the Basor. Which I didn’t know and would never have guessed. This was a hard question. That I got wrong. Thank God most Tourists don’t care about this information. Although it’s cool to share if you’re out there driving hours down to Eilat without much else to talk about…