Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
September 1st 2017 -Volume 7 Issue 43 10th
of Elul 5777
Parshat Ki Teitzei
The Lion, the Itch and the War Job
Mazel Tov! He was finally getting
married. It was about time already. The jungle had been waiting a long time for
this special moment. It was gonna be the wedding of the century. All the
animals were invited. The elephants were all dieting to prepare for the great
feast and to fit into their outfits, the monkeys had all their shtick planned,
the beavers and foxes got their best shtreimels fixed up and those yeshivishe
black and white zebras even decided to take a shower for the occasion. Even the
little mice were invited. It was the King of the Jungle’s big day and no one
wanted to miss the simcha of the year. Akuna MazalTov.
When the special day came everyone
came over to Ahreleh the lion seated on his big throne and gave him their
special blessings. As Mendele’h the little mouse walked over he gave the groom
a big hug, well as big of a hug as mouse can give a lion that is and handed him
an envelope with a nice check in it saying.
“Mazel Tov, my dear brother, here’s a small gift from your
loving buddy, Mendy.”
The Lion’s face turned red or
orange as lions do and he gave out a roar.
“Listen mouse” he
said, “I don’t know who you think you are. I invited you to the wedding
because I invited the entire jungle. But what makes you think that you are my
brother, my buddy?!”
Mendeleh looked up at him with a
knowing smile and sighed and said
“Ahhh… boychikl… Before I got married I was also a lion….”
Sigh….. It’s a joke that every married
man laughs at wryfully…While most jewish women do gleefully. I always tell
people if they ask me what my status in the house is that I am the Baal HaBoss-
I’m the husband of the Boss. I just follow orders and find that I get into less
trouble that way. It’s a good piece of advice and makes life so much smoother
once we learn our roles properly. I don’t think this is true, by the way for
only Jewish marriages. I think that in many cultures the women is really the
one that is wearing the pants in the family. Except maybe Italians, they’re ‘Real
Men”. Their wives know that the linguini better be on the table when Papa gets
home or boom. As they say in a Italy
“A prima donna matrimonio, la seconda compagnia,
la terza un 'eresia.- A first wife makes for a good marriage, a
second wife is just a companion and the third is good for nothing.”
Arrivederci!
Marriage is certainly one of the oldest
institutions in the world. It goes back to the Beginning in Eden when Hashem
took a look at Adam wandering around the garden trying to find where he left
his car keys and He realized that he had no one to blame it on but himself. So
Hashem made the declaration
“Lo tov l’adam lihiyot livad- it
is not good for man to alone, I will make him a helper opposite him.”
And man went to sleep for the last
time without someone poking him in middle of the night and Eve was born. He
very quickly blamed her for feeding him the wrong dinner and he has been paying
the price since.
Jokes aside though there certainly
is a common denominator between all marriages in all cultures and religions around
the world. People are programmed to seek out their “soul-mate” There is
something inside of us that understands that we are incomplete without someone
else to share our lives with in the most intimate and the most pragmatic of
ways.
Not everyone is good at marriage
though. The world it seems has certainly changed in the “till death do us part”-
commitment aspect of marriage that was once the glue that held families
together in good times, in bad times, I’ll be on your side forever more… Sorry
just spacing out a bit here…J. In fact the divorce rate has risen all over the world in
the past thirty years where in America the rate is terrifyingly close to 50%. Even
in Israel it has risen from 2% in 1973 to 14% in 2014. Sure there are people
that will argue that in the past there were just as many unhappy marriages that
just stayed together because of the stigma of divorce and thank god we have ‘progressed”
to the point where that is no longer the case and people can “move on” without
any fear of social backlash. The Talmud though definitely has a definite other
take on this though.
“Tav l’meisav tan do, mlmeisav armalasa- it is
better for two people to sit as a couple then as a widow.
The Talmud uses this logic to
explain that it is better to stay in a marriage as a couple even with an
undesirable person than to be alone. This of course does not include cases of
abuse and other things of course. But in general marriage is always the preferred
status. In fact we are told that when a couple gets divorced it is as if the
altar itself sheds tears. Why particularly the Altar many of the commentaries
ask?
The answer perhaps is that the
function of the altar is to bring sacrifices. It is for a person to feel that
there is something that has come between Hashem and himself that unless
recognized, unless one takes account of that moment, that event than the gap
will become even greater. I don’t only speak about sins and mistakes that we
make in our lives for which a sacrifice is warranted, but for happy occasions
as well, there are thanksgiving offerings, there are peace offerings, there are
holiday, Shabbat, first borns, one’s entire years life cycles are made real
when we come to the altar and bring the Kohen are offering and connect with the
moment by giving something special of ourselves and including Hashem in that
occasion. Without someone to share that with then really what is it all worth. That
is the essence of marriage as well. One who tragically doesn’t have that
special someone with which to grow in developing that trait of completing ones
life’s growth, challenges and simchas is missing that special tool
Hashem programmed us all with to be our “helper-opposite ‘Him- the partner to
help us realize that we are always Shivisi Hashem Lnegdi Tamid- that we
place Hashem opposite us always. It is for that reason that the altar is the vessel
that sheds tears. For the mizabayach is the place where we become most
connected with Hashem.
Why am I writing about this subject
this week, you wish to know? Well first of all my wife is out of town and I can’t
find my car keys…J. No but really, This week the Torah portion which is titled Ki
Teitzei La’Milchama Al Oyvecha- which begins talking about the going out to
battle and a man finding an inappropriate woman that he has an ‘itch’ for which
he feels just must ‘scratch’. Ultimately
the Torah tells us this will lead to dire consequences bad children and other
not fun stuff. But the entire portion in fact is chock full of mitzvos that
relate to marriage. It talks about all types of violent and inappropriate physically
driven seductions and worse, it talks about terrible husbands that spread bad
rumors about their wives, cheating spouses, a man with two wives, women of ill
repute, and even when it talks about the mitzva of marriage the source for the
concept of betrothal before marriage
Devarim (22:13) Ki Yikach Ish Isha- When a man
will take a woman
It is mentioned in the context of
failed marriage and the mitzva to divorce. The one thing that is missing
perhaps from this entire list of mitzvos, of which the Torah seems to pack into
this week’s Torah portion is the mitzva to love one’s wife, to cherish, to hold
dear. We are told to love the convert, our fellow neighbor, Hashem, what about
our spouses?
Maimonides in the beginning of his
laws of marriage does something unique. He describes the history of it all
“Before the Torah was given a man would meet a woman in
the market (see where the term comes fromJ) if he wanted and she wanted to get married he would bring
into her home and she would be his wife.
Once the Torah was given Israel was commanded that if a man
wanted to marry a woman he would bring her before witnesses and betroth her and
then after he would marry her… And this betrothal is called Kiddushin and it is
a positive commandment from the Torah”
This is a puzzling Rambam and very
not like his style. The Rambam doesn’t start off other laws with a history
lesson. He doesn’t’ say anywhere that ‘before the Torah people could eat un-slaughtered
animal and now we have to pay double and get them shechted and this is a mitzva’,
or ‘before the Torah we could wear four cornered garments without Tzitzit’. So
why by marriage does he feel it is necessary to introduce these laws with a
trip down memory lane to the ‘good ole’ days’? I believe that what Maimonides
is doing is explaining the essence of what a Jewish marriage is about. The
Torah does not tell us that one should love honor and respect one’s wife because
that’s natural. Everyone knows that. Even gentiles, even before the Torah was
given had a concept of marriage. Judaism is about something more. It’s about Kiddushin.
It’s about not just jumping into the ‘house’ from the market place and spending
the rest of your life with someone you care about. It’s about bringing her to
witnesses appreciating the sanctity of the moment. Making a declaration before
Hashem K’daas Moshe V’Yisrael- Like the laws of Moses and Israel. The
process of betrothal does two things it prohibits and dedicates the two of you
together and forbids any external relation. You are not yet one. That will
happen with marriage, but you have made a commitment that this will be home
that will include Hashem and lift up the world together.
It is for this reason as well when
the laws of marriage are mentioned in this week’s Torah portion all of the
pitfalls of marriage are delineated. It’s not just about love and romance.
Those things everyone has. It’s about appreciating that the two of you are on
the most important ‘battlefield’ of the world. It’s the two of you that will be
fighting against all the distractions, temptations and challenges to build that
most important Jewish home. To create a place of Kedusha.
There is another reason why this
topic comes to mind this week. My sister-in-law Yehudis will IYH be marrying
her bashert Yoily (I love that name-by the way). We have all waited, davened,
and anticipated this great moment. It’s finally here. May Hashem bless the two
of you that you merit to build an incredible home, one that is full of the love
and joy that every other marriage in the world builds its foundation upon. But
as well may it be a home of kedusha and tahara, one that sees you
through all the challenges that both of you have surmounted until now and
become stronger as a result of. A house that completes the two of you and that
brings the shechina into it and is a light unto Klal Yisrael. And Yoily,
my brother, if it ever gets too rough, remember… I was once a lion too…J Mazel Tov!
Have a lovingly
amazing Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
**********************
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S
FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Der “harey-at” iz a kurtser prolog tsu a
lange drame”. The wedding vow is a short prologue to a long drama
RABBI SCHWARTZ COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
https://youtu.be/ZtQhJ_Ui5Kw
– Maccabeats
Despacito?
https://youtu.be/5zO6M_g0Ddo – Israeli Violinist Despacito?
https://youtu.be/n6Y5zZlq1JQ
- Breslav Despacito?
https://youtu.be/BabXYevQwmE
- Laurel and Hardy Despacito? Had enough yet?
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q. A hanging (suspended) tree sculpture
designed by the sculptor Ran Morin is located in:
a. Sejera
b. Haifa
c. Nazareth
d. Jaffa
a. Sejera
b. Haifa
c. Nazareth
d. Jaffa
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ILLUMINATING RASHI OF THE
WEEK
Ki Teitzei- One of the enlightening things to me in this
column is not only the original ways we learn and study Rashi, but the little
bios that follow this column of the individual who gave this insight as well.
Oh, that’s what it says in the italicized paragraphs that follow this column,
you’re thinking…It’s alright if you don’t read it, there’s way too much
information in this E-Mail anyways and you gotta skip something, right? And it’s
definitely not going to be the jokes. But anyways I just find it amazing that
the greatest minds and Jewish leaders for almost 1000 years since Rashi wrote
his commentary, have been pondering, learning, innovating and finding meaning
and insight into his concise and seemingly easy commentary. It is even more inspiring
to me when one of the greatest leaders of today’s generation does so as well.
In this week’s portion of Ki Teitzei the
parsha begins with the mitzva of yifat Toar a captured one who caught the eye
of one of the soldiers and the process of converting her and marrying her. The
Torah concludes this portion with the commandment that if he does not desire
her than he should divorce her and she is sent home to her parents home.
Rashi on that mitzva notes
Devarim
(21:14) And it shall be if he does not desire her and she shall send her to
herself- The verse is foretelling you that he will ultimately hate her.
Reb Eliyahu Mizrachi asks where do our sages,
whom Rashi is quoting, know and see from the verse that he will end up hating
her and divorcing her. The Torah merely says that if he doesn’t desire her what
the protocol is. Reb Chayim Kanievsky notes that the Torah uses the word v’haya-
And it shall be. There are two words that mean and it shall be; vayehi
and vihaya. Vahyehi is used when it is a bad thing that will happen
and vhaya is when it is a good thing. Suggests Reb Chayim, that seemingly
the usage of the word v’haya over here is telling me that there is
something good about this failed marriage. It is that they will not bear
children. For as Rashi tells us, the outcome of this marriage will ultimately be
a Ben Sorer Umoreh a wayward child that will ultimately be sentenced to
death in the following passage. Similarly we find this same terminology, he
notes, in the next portion that talks about a man who takes two wives and he
there is one he hates and one he lioves. v’haya ha’ben habechor lasenuah-
And it shall be the first-born son is born to the hated wife- Again the Torah
usuesd to teach us that the hated mother is happy because she has the
first-born. It is ofr this reason Rashi points out that the verse is telling
you- with the usage of the good-news term v’haya- that he will ultimately
hate her and divorce her.
Isn’t it inspiring to know that Reb Chayim
Kanievsky is learning the same Rashi we are?
Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky (1928-till Mashiach comes J)
– I believe it
is non-debatable that Reb Chaim is the unchallenged Gadol HaDor- leader of the
Jewish people today. This is certainly true of the Yeshiva world, but even in
Chasidic and modern orthodox world the name Reb Chaim requires no last name to
identify him. It is hard to argue about a man who is literally a walking Torah
scroll, who completes the entire Torah (Mishna, Talmud, Midrash and all other
accompanying early works of the Oral tradition). Yet at the same time sits
hours each day and greets and blesses and guides those that seek his leadership
and guidance from all over the world in his tiny little apartment in Bnai Brak.
Born of an illustrious Torah home
Reb Chaim Kanievsky was born in Pinskto Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky as the
Steipler Gaon and Rebbitzen Miriam Karelitz, sister of Rabbi Avraham Yeshayahu
Karelitz or the Chazon Ish. He married Batsheva Elyashiv, daughter of Rabbi
Yosef Sholom Eliashiv (grandson of Rav Shlomo Elyashiv, also known as the
Leshem) and granddaughter of Rav Aryeh Levin the "Tzaddik of Jerusalem. It
doesn’t get more prestigious than that.
A fun fact that you may not have
been aware of though was that during the 1948 Israeli War of Independence, Rav
Kanievsky, then a student at the Lomza Yeshiva, was conscripted for temporary
army service in the general mobilization. He was assigned to stand guard on a
large hill near Jaffa.So one could say he was a soldier as well.
Perhaps one of the most incredible
things that Rav Chaim has been pushing over the last few years, interestingly
enough, I have heard from many that have visited him, is that Jews should move
to Eretz Yisrael. He feels strongly that Mashiach is literally around the
corner and has said as much, and feels it would be good for all of us to be
here already for the time is now. May his words be readily fulfilled.
.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TYPES OF JEWS IN ISRAEL OF
THE WEEK
Shofar Blowers –My kids tell me I’m getting desperate, It’s the end of
the year and I’m scrambling for new types of Jews you meet in Israel. I don’t
think so. Anyways this might be a stretch but you do see these guys all around.
It seems to be a thing in this country, to randomly blow shofars at different
places. Certainly in the old city of Jerusalem or Tzfat during Bar Mitzva ceremonies or weddings.When walks
around the Shuk in Jerusalem as well there inevitably might be someone blowing
his shofar as well. But I’ve seen shofar blowers on Masada, in train stations,
on the streets of Tel Aviv or other busy cities. Most Jewish rallies are also
incomplete without your Shofar blower as well, be they political rallies and
certainly by religious ones. Shofar blowers can be random guys with beards,
Nachman’s and Chabad guys are certainly the most prevalent. Sfardim as well
have a big thing for Shofar blowing by simchas. But then you have your random Chinese
guys or Christian tourists that feel very biblical when they walk around with
their big shofars and blow them as well. This month of Elul until Rosh Hashana
when there is a Jewish custom to blow each morning to awaken everyone to
repent. One certainly hears the Shofar blast more often than not. Each time I
hear the Shofar, personally, my heart jumps. Is it Mashiach? Is he finally
here? I’m still hoping. I imagine the Shofar blowers are as well.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S JEWISH JOKES OF THE WEEK
A Jewish father was very troubled by the way
his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it.
“Rabbi, I brought him up in the faith, gave
him a very expensive Bar Mitzvah and it cost me a fortune to educate him. Then
he tells me last week, he’s decided to be a Christian. Rabbi, where did I go
wrong?”
The rabbi strokes his beard and says, “Funny
you should come to me. I too, brought up my son as a boy of faith, sent him to
university and it cost me a fortune and then one day he comes to me and tells
me he wants to be a Christian.”
“What did you do?” asked the man of the rabbi.
“I turned to God for the answer,” replied the
rabbi.
“What did he say?” asked the man.
He said, “Funny you should come to me...”
A young Jewish guy develops a crush on a girl,
but when he tells his Father about her, the old boy just wants to know her
family name. When the young guy tells him that the girl's name is Ford, the old
boy tells him that Ford is not a good Jewish name, and he must forget her, and
go and find a nice Jewish girl. So time passes, and the young guy finds another
girl, but her name is Austin, so his Father tells him the same thing, to find a
nice Jewish girl with a nice Jewish name. So more time passes, and the young
guy finds another girl, but this time he is sure that he has solved the problem
because the girl's name is Goldberg. "Goldberg !" exclaims his
Father, "This makes me very happy because it is a real good Jewish name,
and from a good established family" Then he asks what her first name is.
"Is it one of my favourite names, like Rachael, or Rebecca ?"
"No Father" replied the young guy. "It's Whoopi"
Q - What do Jewish wives make for supper?
A - Reservations.
A - Reservations.
Lionel from London is taking his University
gap year in America and he’s visiting as many places there as he can. But
whilst spending some time in Oklahoma, he meets and falls deeply in love with a
Cherokee girl. Not long after, they decide to get married and Lionel rings his
mother to tell her the good news.
"Mum, I’ve found my future wife and we’re getting married over here. I’m going to send you the air tickets to join us."
"Mazeltov Lionel," his mother says. "I’m so pleased, but is she ……. Jewish?"
"No mum," Lionel replies, "she’s not. But she promises to act as a Jewish wife."
"Oy," his mother wails, "I’ve always wanted you to marry a lovely Jewish girl."
"You can’t have everything mum," Lionel says. "And another thing I must tell you. She lives on a reservation and that’s where we’ll be living after we marry."
"I can’t take any more of this," cries his mother, "I don’t want the tickets and I don’t want to speak to you again." And with that she slams down the phone.
Almost a year later, Lionel rings his mother and tells her that they are expecting a baby. His mother doesn’t slam down the phone but says, very politely and unemotionally, "That’s nice, son, I’m happy for you both."
Eight months later, Lionel again rings his mother and says, "Mum, I just want to say that last night my wife gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I also want you to know that we’ve agreed to give our son a Jewish name."
Upon hearing this unexpected news, his mother shouts out with happiness. "Oh Lionel, bubbeleh, this is wonderful news," she cries, "I've been waiting for this moment all my life. You’ve both made me more happy than you could ever know."
"That's fantastic, mum," replies Lionel. "I’m so glad that you and I are back together as mother and son."
"And what," asks his proud and happy mother, "is my lovely grandson’s name going to be?"
Lionel replies, proudly, "Smoked Whitefish."
"Mum, I’ve found my future wife and we’re getting married over here. I’m going to send you the air tickets to join us."
"Mazeltov Lionel," his mother says. "I’m so pleased, but is she ……. Jewish?"
"No mum," Lionel replies, "she’s not. But she promises to act as a Jewish wife."
"Oy," his mother wails, "I’ve always wanted you to marry a lovely Jewish girl."
"You can’t have everything mum," Lionel says. "And another thing I must tell you. She lives on a reservation and that’s where we’ll be living after we marry."
"I can’t take any more of this," cries his mother, "I don’t want the tickets and I don’t want to speak to you again." And with that she slams down the phone.
Almost a year later, Lionel rings his mother and tells her that they are expecting a baby. His mother doesn’t slam down the phone but says, very politely and unemotionally, "That’s nice, son, I’m happy for you both."
Eight months later, Lionel again rings his mother and says, "Mum, I just want to say that last night my wife gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I also want you to know that we’ve agreed to give our son a Jewish name."
Upon hearing this unexpected news, his mother shouts out with happiness. "Oh Lionel, bubbeleh, this is wonderful news," she cries, "I've been waiting for this moment all my life. You’ve both made me more happy than you could ever know."
"That's fantastic, mum," replies Lionel. "I’m so glad that you and I are back together as mother and son."
"And what," asks his proud and happy mother, "is my lovely grandson’s name going to be?"
Lionel replies, proudly, "Smoked Whitefish."
Rabbi Levy, one of the wisest of rabbis, is
dying. And because he is so loved by his colleagues, many rabbis have gathered
around his hospital bedside trying to make his last moments as rewarding as
possible.
Whilst the visiting rabbis are praying, one of the nurses comes into the room and offers rabbi Levy a glass of warm milk to drink. But with what little strength he has left, rabbi Levy refuses it.
Seeing this, rabbi Jacobs has an idea. He remembers that he has a bottle of whiskey in his car which he was planning to use for his next kiddush. So whilst his colleagues are watching rabbi Levy’s laboured breaths, he quickly picks up the glass of milk and creeps out to his car. Rabbi Jacobs then opens the bottle of whiskey and pours a generous portion of it into the warm milk. He then goes back to rabbi Levy’s bedside and holds the glass to rabbi Levy’s lips.
"Go on rabbi Levy," says rabbi Jacobs, "please drink some of this milk. It will make you feel a bit better. Really it will."
So rabbi Levy takes a small sip, stares at the glass, drinks a bit more, then smiles and finishes every drop of the milk-and-whiskey mixture.
The other rabbis are humbled when they see rabbi Levy apparently making some kind of recovery. "Rabbi Levy," they say, "please share some of your wisdom with us before you die!"
At this, rabbi Levy raises himself up in his bed and with a pious look on his face points out the window and says, "Don't sell that cow!"
Whilst the visiting rabbis are praying, one of the nurses comes into the room and offers rabbi Levy a glass of warm milk to drink. But with what little strength he has left, rabbi Levy refuses it.
Seeing this, rabbi Jacobs has an idea. He remembers that he has a bottle of whiskey in his car which he was planning to use for his next kiddush. So whilst his colleagues are watching rabbi Levy’s laboured breaths, he quickly picks up the glass of milk and creeps out to his car. Rabbi Jacobs then opens the bottle of whiskey and pours a generous portion of it into the warm milk. He then goes back to rabbi Levy’s bedside and holds the glass to rabbi Levy’s lips.
"Go on rabbi Levy," says rabbi Jacobs, "please drink some of this milk. It will make you feel a bit better. Really it will."
So rabbi Levy takes a small sip, stares at the glass, drinks a bit more, then smiles and finishes every drop of the milk-and-whiskey mixture.
The other rabbis are humbled when they see rabbi Levy apparently making some kind of recovery. "Rabbi Levy," they say, "please share some of your wisdom with us before you die!"
At this, rabbi Levy raises himself up in his bed and with a pious look on his face points out the window and says, "Don't sell that cow!"
**************
Answer
is D– I have
no clue about this one. Not really that interested in Israeli tree sculptures.
Barely even interested in trees, fuggedabout sculptures of trees. But actually
after googling this it kind of rang a bell, in the old city of Jaffa on our
tour there in the tour guiding course I remember seeing this down one of the
alleyways there. It’s a tree hanging in the air from a pot. Can’t imagine too
many people knew this answer though. It is definitely one I would have skipped
on the exam as we had to answer 45 out of 50.
