Missing Mom- Parshat Chayei Sarah- 5781 /2020

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

November 13^th 2020 -Volume 11 Issue 5 26^th Cheshvan 5781

 Parshat Chayei Sarah

Missing Mom

I miss my mother, and it's not just her cooking. Aliza, pretty much has me covered on that front. I made sure of that before I married her and she hasn't let me down. I don't think I have ever gone this long in my 49 years of life without seeing my parents. It's been almost two years since Rivky's wedding when we all got together. Even when we moved to Israel, either I have been back or they have visited at least once a year. But since this Corona thing came along, neither of us are traveling anywhere, and it really stinks.

Don't get me wrong, I was never a homesick kind of kid. Hey, I went to sleepaway camp for a month when I was 6 years old and that's only because they wouldn't accept me when I was 5. Neither was I was ever a Momma's boy, my mother made sure of that, and that's despite the fact that I'm her favorite child (it's a good thing my sisters don't read my E-Mails), although Gedalia is good competition. It's also not like we don't talk at least once a week either, we even facetime sometimes-although I'm not a fan. But it's not the same. Truth is I don't even know why it's not the same. She generally will scold me the same, will get emotional and even choked with tears when she tells me she loves me and gives me those important reminders to brush my teeth, take care of my health and remember to say shema at night before I go to sleep. It's not even the hugs and kisses. I'm not such a family hugger… They're generally too emotional. There's just something about being in her presence. In both of my parent's presence-despite all of our usual fights and arguments, that is missing and the longing to see them again just grows stronger and stronger each day and each month…

OK now that I made my mother cry in the first two paragraphs, let's move on to the parsha which really gives us the essence of Jewish motherhood and the relationship between boys and their mothers. After-all it is the parsha titled after the first Jewish mother ever; Chayei Sarah- the life of Sarah. It seems the perfect book to buy and read to find out all we need to know about Jewish motherhood; the life and times of Sarah. Yet, quite the opposite. The second verse in already tells us that she died. That was quick. Short book. I want a refund. But Hashem doesn't give refunds. Now although the divisions and certainly the titles of the parshiyot were not given by Hashem, all Jewish traditions and certainly those that have to do with the study of Torah that for millennia have utilized these titles exist because of Divine inspiration. For generations the titles of each sedra were understood to define the entire theme of the parsha. If that is the case maybe we should flip a few more pages of the book that seems to us should've more aptly been "The life without Sarah" and find out what we are missing.

The first part of the story is all about her burial, and the elongated story of Avraham's negotiations to purchase the Cave of Machpela for her burial. True, the Torah tells us that Avraham eulogized Sarah and the Midrash Tanchuma even tells us that his eulogy was based on the Eishet Chayil that we sing every Friday Night-how each verse applies to everything in her life. But the Torah itself doesn't really tell us much about Sarah.

The next part and bulk of the parsha is all about Avraham swearing his servant Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak, (who seemingly missed his Mom's funeral) and who has kind of disappeared since the Akeida. We have the elongated and repetitive story of Eliezer testing and finding Rivka, the negotiations with Lavan and Besuel and them blessing her as she leaves (*Don't miss the great song I composed in honor of my sister Rivky's wedding with that blessing down below) They meet Yitzchak and brings her back to his Mother's tent. This is the majority of the parsha and it seems it should more appropriately be called the "Chayei Rivka" then of Sarah.

The last piece of the Parsha as well doesn't seem to have any Sarah action in it either. We are told of Avraham's remarriage to Ketura-who Chazal tells us is Hagar. The children he has with her and his sending them away as well. Finally, we have Avraham's death and burial by Yitzchak and Yishmael and then all the descendants of Yishmael. There's more Chayei Hagar and Chayei Yishmael there than Chayei Sarah and frankly to most of us it doesn’t really seem to interesting. We bought this book to find out about our mother, not our cousin's family. I would've gone to a book store in Ramalla for that.

There is a game I like to play with my tourists when I talk to them about Jerusalem. I tell them that our sages tell us that there is heavenly city of Jerusalem that directly corresponds to the one that is down here, and that I can prove it to them. I ask them how to say hand in Hebrew- they say "yad". How do you say two hands? "Yadayim!" they say very excitedly, surprisingly proud of themselves that they know something most kindergarteners know. How do you say foot, I continue? "Regel!" Two feet? "Raglayim!" Eye? "Ayin!". Two eyes? " Einayim!" Ear? "Ozen…" they reply getting sick of this game already. OK…two ears? Oznayim- now they are really getting bored. So I switch it up and ask how they say Jerusalem in Hebrew? And they say of course Yerushalayim. And I tell them they are wrong…"What?!" They check my Kippa to make sure it really is black velvet (the only kosher kind). So I show them how in the Torah it says it is called Yeru-shalem. What does Yerushal-AYIM mean? Well now they know it means two. The "ayim" suffix makes something plural. This is to teach us that there are two a Jerusalem down here and a Jerusalem up above. Walla! As we say in Hebrew…

There is another word that is really just as reflective and insightful once you have this priniciple down pat. How do we say life in Hebrew. Again seemingly easy but wrong. I imagine most of you would say chayim. Like when we drink we say ""l'chaim" to life. Except that the word life has the "ayim" suffix" to it as well. chayim means lives. Two of them. The one in this world and the one in the afterworld. In fact, there is no word for a singular life in Hebrew. Chai- means alive it doesn't mean life. Whenever we talk about a life we talk about it in the plural. It's always a doubled life. It's the life we have while we are here and the life that continues on after we leave this physical world that we put in place and are still connected to even after we're gone. Our sages tell us that the righteous even after they pass are called living. Our parsha is called Chayei Sarah because it is the lives of Sarah, for it is the story of the life of Sarah that live on even when she wasn't close enough to hug anymore.

The eternal life of Sarah starts at Mea'arat Hamachpela- the doubled cave. But it's not just the cave that is "machpela- doubled". It is in the field of Machpela that is in the area referred to as Machpela. Machpela means double. It will be the beit hachayim- the house of life, of two lives; the one where the physical ends and the eternal one begins. There is no more appropriate place to start our book about Sarah than at the purchase of Machpela for that will be the symbol that she lives on even in her departing from this physical world.

The parsha continues with Sarah's life in the finding of the spouse for her son Yitzchak. This entire story is finding someone that will fill the tent of Sarah with her light once again. Avraham realizes that he needs someone as close as Sarah as he can get to light that light of Sarah so he makes Eliezer swear and travel in order for him to find that "mother".

When Yitzchak finds Rivkah the verse tells us his reaction in such incredible terms.

Bereshit (24:67) And Yitzchak brought her to the tent of Sarah his mother, and he took Rebecca, and she became his wife, and he loved her. And Yitzchak was comforted for [the loss of] his mother.

Sarah lives in Rivkah. Her tent lives. This is after all parshat Chayei Sarah. If you aren't sure take a look at Rashi

He brought her into the tent and she became exactly like his mother Sarah — that is to say, the words signify as much as, [And he brought her into the tent] and, behold, she was Sarah, his mother).

Do you know how they say that you marry someone like your mother? Yitzchak certainly did. The three miracles that Sarah had in her tent of a light from Shabbos to Shabbos, that there was a blessing that could be tasted in her bread and that there was a heavenly cloud always present for protection are the symbols and correspond to the specific mitzvos of a woman, of a mother. Sarah had passed away for three years yet Yitzchak had not been consoled. Rashi again tells us this is the way it's meant to be, which seems strange as we know that someone who dies the mourning ends after a year. But Rashi says a fascinating eternal insight.

It is Derech Eretz the natural (and proper way) that while a man’s mother is living he is karuch- wrapped up in her, but when she dies he finds comfort in his wife.

I saw a beautiful insight in the sefer Hamisulaim Mipaz- that writes that although when a man gets married the Torah tells us that he leaves his father and mother and is davak-cleaves to his wife, that does not negate that he is still wrapped up karuch-like the word korech by our Pesach sandwich- with his mother. His wife is the person that he becomes one with. They will build a unit and a family together. That bond of being one with his mother who fed him, cared for him, worried about him and strengthened him will be replaced with his wife. But his mother will still be wrapped into everything he does. She is the one he turns to for that wisdom of his youth, for the insight that only she can provide him with as no one knows him better. No one cares as much in his heart. She is not one with him, she is not davak, but she is that external force that is wrapped around all he does. She lives in him, even though she is not with him.

It's fascinating when you think about it. None of our Matriarchs had shviggers (mother-in-laws). They missed out on that wonderful aspect of married life for a new young bride. The reason perhaps is precisely as explained above. Each one of them were a continuation of the light of the previous generation. Each one's husband was fully theirs and there was no mother wrapped up in their relationship. They inherited the light and filled the tent with that same wisdom and light that the ones before them did.

But as our book on the life of Sarah concludes it reveals that Sarah is not just the mother of Yitzchak. Sarah has other "children". Her prize student Hagar- for she wouldn't give Avraham any less and Hagar's son Yishmael, whose entire existence because Sara was his mother's shadchan. She raised the two of them to such a high level that they both even saw and communicated with angels. She's also the "mother" of Hagar who she sent away and is now brought back to Avraham. They both return to the fold after being sent away for their own good. It certainly pained Sarah as much as it did Avraham. But she knew what they needed-as Jewish mothers always do. And the conclusion of the parsha of the life of Sarah that these children as well return. Hagar, now Ketura remarries Avraham. She is called Ketura because like incense she was lit with the flame and the holy spirit of Sarah now emanates from her. And Yishmael returns to bury his father Avraham with Yitzchak allowing Yitzchak to go first, for he had done teshuva. The teshuva of Yishmael is so great that we find there are great sages in the Mishna that are named for him. Again the life of Sarah lives on. She is the first of our Imahos and she is the light that is shines eternally in every Jewish mother since.

There is perhaps no stereotype out there like the Jewish Mother. They truly are all the same. They are the same because they all carry the light of Sarah that they shine into their children. It's in their DNA. They worry about that light more than any other mother, and that light shines even if they're not close enough to hug us. We have our own spouses, children, family and friends to cleave to and give us the hugs and make us the food and build our tents with us. But I relate to Yitzchak who missed his mother. Baruch Hashem mine is well and healthy, as she always is, thank god until 120. It's not mother's day this week. We never did that in my family as every day is mother's day. But it is Thanksgiving in some countries-although we were never too strict about that either, and so I'll use this week's E-mail to just say thank you Mom… I miss you…and hope to see you soon oif simchas…

Have a marvelous Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Di varemsteh bet is di mamehs."- The warmest bed is mother’s…"

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

3)A stream that flows into the Mediterranean Sea:

A) Betzet

B) Tirza

C) Amud

D) Dishon

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/rivkah  – My sister Rivky thinks this is my nicest composition. It was her chuppa song so that makes sense. Yitzy Berry did an awesome job and I dare you to listen and not get moved by this special Bracha that Lavan gave Rivka in this week's parsha… and we do so by every Chasuna..

 

https://youtu.be/w6WQK1lYucw – You know me.. I can't resist a Carlebach medley. This one by the Jerusalem Choir is great.

 

https://youtu.be/dCpLWj6Uvq0  – New 8^th Day song- Gift of Life.. enjoy

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPAXBuo8_rI   – Avrahm Fried hot off the press New song Shvurei Lev… I have never heard him so emotional before..

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 Parshat Chayei Sarah– One of the ideas behind this column is to allow my readers to fall more and more in love with Eretz Yisrael and to ultimately give up shmutz la'aretz and to come home to the country, we have davened and longed for so long. Well this week we'll talk about the other way to come here…

 There is a cartoon I once saw of this young boy who learns about Eretz Yisrael and tells his mother he wants to live there. The mother reassures him that one day he may be able to, but right now is not the right time. Maybe when he gets older. The next frame is he's a yeshiva bachur who tells his mother again he would like to move to Israel. She again tells him that he can do what he wants after he gets married, but he needs to come back to the States from his yeshiva in Israel and get married first. The next frame is under the chupa him telling his wife he wants to move to Israel. She agrees but wants to start off marriage near her parents.  The next one is at their Shabbos table and again he broaches the subject and his wife tells him the kids are the wrong ages, maybe after they get married. The next one is walking down the last child to the chupah, but then Mom wants to be near the grandchildren. The last frame is at the airport where the widow is sitting by her husband's coffin saying "your father always wanted to go to Israel…" Ouch!

 Burial in Israel goes back along way… We have gravestones from the times of the Mishna of people from all over the world that would be brought to Eretz Yisrael to be buried. There is a special merit to be buried in Israel as we it says v'cheepair admaso amo- the land atones for it's nation. In fact even those that get buried outside of Israel the custom is to place earth from Israel in their coffins for precisely that reason. Yet, our Rabbis were not too happy with the idea. We find Rabbis in the Talmud that accused people that would do so of being marbeh tuma'ah ba'aretz- increasing the impurity in the land. We need your live bodies here not your dead ones.

 With this in mind it is perhaps fascinating to think that the first land that was purchased and owned by Avraham-the first Jew, was in fact a burial site- the Mea'arat Ha'Machpela. The question begs itself. Why isn't the first thing he buys a Beit Midrash, a home to live in, a Shul, a Mikva. Why is the first purchase a grave? It seems pretty morbid.

 The answer I have seen is pretty revealing. The function of a grave is to testify that the body will come to life once again. In fact, Rav Charlap describes the "circle of life" as one where the soul comes from heaven and is placed in a body made of earth. It is a burial in a way for that soul. Yet the two of them live together and they preform Mitzvos and achieve reward. After death the soul returns to heaven to receive its reward, and the body is buried waiting for the soul to return with its reward in the period of the Resurrection of the Dead-Techiyas Ha'Meisim.

 Avraham is on this world to teach people that there is an afterlife. There is a Creator and our actions will have eternal consequence. That message can only be brought out by teaching them of the laws of burial in a doubled cave. The cave of Machpela incidentally we are told is the entrance to Gan Eden. This is where the souls pass through to get there and where the bodies will return and emerge from. The essence of life in Eretz Yisrael is because this is the land where we can achieve that ultimate unity between body and soul in the land closest to Gan Eden where we will rise up once again from. Those of us fortunate enough to live her can achieve that perfect harmony where the earth and soul can find holiness together and then be restored in the holiest of lands. In the Diaspora the life is not one that will ever have that fullest connection between body and soul, and thus in death as well it needs to ultimately come to Eretz Yisrael to be resurrected.

 This is some spooky stuff, yet there is nothing more central to Judaism as the idea of dying like a Jew. Having Kaddish recited is something even Jews far away from our faith and observance recognize. We all have a knowledge that there is a life after death. That pivotal idea that transformed the world comes from Avraham and the 400 shekel he spent on the burial site of Israel. We all know and live our lives so that we can die as good Jews. And even in the Diaspora we will bring you some earth to sprinkle on your grave. But wouldn't you love so much more to have that holy sand sift through your feet every day of your life?

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Shaul and the Witch- 877 BC-  We are getting closer to the final act of the Book of Shmuel Aleph. David is camped out with the Achish and the Philistines in Gat. He has them fooled that he has been ostracized by the Jewish people and Shaul and is on their team. Achish sees then as the opportunity, with Israel's main warrior on his side to wage war and attack the Jews. He invites Dovid to join him and the camp in the Jezree'el valley beneath the mountain of Gilboa by the village of Shunam. The ancient city of Shunam was actually populated for over 1000 years by Jews in the times of the 1^st and 2^nd Temple and through the 6^th century. Today it is identified as the arab village of Sulam, and in fact Tel Shunam that lies on the outskirts of this village has been excavated a few times over the last 10 years.

 

Now the Jews led by Shaul are overwhelmed by the sheer force and numbers of the Philistine army that has gathered. Shaul and his men camped high up in the safety of the mountain of Gilboa look down, as I do with my tourists from the incredible lookout points, and realize that they are vastly outnumbered and armed. Achish had come all out this time and the Jewish fledgling army was not going to be enough to cut it. It is at this point that Shaul realized he needed Divine guidance. It was the only way we stood a chance. The problem was how to get that guidance. Shmuel had passed away a month before hand. The newer prophets were not giving Shaul any prophecies, Even the Urim V'Tumim from the breastplate of the Kohen Gadol seemed to be silent. Shaul was at a loss. The survival of the Jewish people rested on his large shoulders and he had nowhere to turn. Or did he?

 There was one angle that still remained; he could raise and ask the dead. Well, that's not exactly precise, let's backtrack a bit and understand how things work. A fundamental Jewish belief is that there is a supernatural spiritual world that exists and that can even be manipulated. In biblical times when Hashem preformed open miracles and spoke through prophets this was understood and obvious. Yet as in all things spiritual there has to be a balance to maintain free-choice and there is therefore going to be negative spiritual impure forces and powers that can be manipulated as well. We find this with Pharaoh's magicians in Egypt, Bila'am and his sorcerers and other biblical stories. The Torah recognizes these forces as being real and prohibits us from utilizing or consulting them. While Shmuel was alive these sorcerers and witches didn't have much business. Why go to the "dark side" when you had the 'real deal' in Shmuel to consult? After Shmuel's death though Shaul fearing that these people would fill the void and ordered anyone practicing sorcery or necromancy to be killed. And they were. Except for one.

 It is not often that I get to use my encyclopedic knowledge of 70's TV shows and movies in my tour guiding in Israel. So when I can I get really excited. See this witch, who incidentally Chazal tell us was the mother of Shaul's general Avner and even the wife of the prophet Tzefania, lived in the village of Ein Dor. Now all you Star Wars fans should be familiar with that name. Its where those cute little Ewoks were from. But for those a little older that remember Bewitched the mother-in-laws name was "Endora". Well now you know where that name comes from and today kibbutz Ein Dor founded in 1947 was given the same name.

 Now although it was prohibited to utilize the services of such people and Shaul himself had even had them killed, he felt that this was a life-threatening situation of pikuach nefesh where he needed guidance from the deceased prophet Shmuel as to how to proceed. So he disguised himself and went to visit her with his two generals Avner and Amasa. The woman not recognizing Shaul, was still concerned that this was a ruse to get her was hesitant but Shaul promised her that no harm would come up. She agreed and moments later the spirit of Shmuel entered the room and frankly he was not a happy camper. He was upset that the was being raised from the dead and he basically told Shaul that Hashem was already pretty much finished with him. That he and Yonasan would be joining Shmuel pretty soon and the battle would be lost by the Jewish people. This was a result of the sins of Shaul of the city of Nov and for not having completed his mission in wiping out Amalek and establishing the kingdom. Ouch!

 Shaul is heartbroken by the news, but the good witch makes him some food and he sits down and tells his men some fake news. Shmuel said he will win and the Jews will be victorious. He knows this is the will of Hashem for him to fall in this battle and it has already been pre-ordained. The only thing he could offer his people is false hope and thus he does. I'm not making any modern day equivalents here… but it's definitely food for thought. Stay tuned next week as we follow the story to its tragic end.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S JEWISH MOTHER JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 Shaindy and Moishy decided to take their little Berel from the heat of the city to his first visit to the beach. Dressed in his little sailor suit and hat and pail and shovel in hand, Berel happily played at the water's edge as his mother and father spread their picnic blanket. Then suddenly, to his parents' horror, a huge wave crashed down on the boy and then dragged him far out to sea. As neither of his parents could swim, his mother began to wail and cry, "Hashem, be merciful. Return our son to us!" 

Suddenly another huge wave cast the boy back up on the sand at his parents' feet. Shaindy inspected her son and then quickly looked back towards the heavens and said, "He had a hat!"   

 During a regular early morning shul service, Rabbi Levy couldn't help noticing 21 year old Benny sitting at the back of the shul looking very sad. He had his head in his hands. So at a convenient moment, Rabbi Levy goes over to him and asks, "What's wrong, Benny? Tell me. Maybe I can help."

"Oh rabbi," replies Benny, "I just don't know what to do. Every time I bring a girl home to introduce her to my parents, no matter how wonderful the girl is, my mother always tells me that she does not like her at all."

"I've heard this story many times before," says Rabbi Levy, "but you'll be pleased to hear that I have a tried and tested solution for you. Next time you choose a girl, make sure she not only looks just like your mother, but also talks like your mother, laughs like your mother, cooks like your mother, and dresses like your mother. Believe me, Benny, if you find such a girl, your mother will absolutely love her."

Many weeks go by before Benny finds someone just like his mother. And not only that, but the girl very quickly falls madly in love with him. So Benny invites her to meet his parents and this time is feeling very optimistic that all will go well.

At the next shul service, Rabbi Levy notices that Benny is once again sitting at the back of the shul looking unbelievably unhappy. So once again, during a break in the service, Rabbi Levy goes over to Benny. "What's wrong Benny?" asks Rabbi Levy. "Couldn't you find someone like your mother?"

"Rabbi," replies Benny, "miraculously, I found a girl just like my Mom. Not only did she look just like Mom, but she also talked like Mom, laughed like Mom, cooked like Mom, and dressed like Mom."

"So everything should have worked out okay for you," says Rabbi Levy.

"No, rabbi, it didn't," replies Benny. "My father didn't like her."

 

As a fundraiser the local Hebrew School decided to hold a talent show for the community. The night of the show finally arrived and the auditorium was packed with community people. Judy Goldberg looked on her as her pride and joy Chezky was playing piano and singing his beautiful composed Ani Maamin. During her performance she noticed a man in the audience clearly moved and crying.  
After the show she walks over to him and says "isn't it touching that the younger generation is carrying on our tradition?" 

The man says "I don't know I'm not Jewish".

"So why were you crying?" she asks him. 

"Oh that's because I am a musician"

 

 A man is laying on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, the surgeon. The son reassures his nevous father that there is nothing to worry about. It's a simple procedure that he has done many times before.  

The father says, "Son, think of it this way ... If anything  happens to me, your mother is coming to live with you."

.

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Mom, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." 
The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says,

"Okay, Mom. Guess which one I'm going to marry." 
She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle." 
"That's amazing, Mom. You're right. How did you know?" 
"I don't like her."

 

It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when Bernie slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled. 
As Bernie unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two bagels to go, please?" 
The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?" 
"That's right," answered Bernie, "One for me and one for Bernice." 
"Bernice is your wife?" asked the baker. 
"What do you think," snapped Bernie, " would my mother would send me out on a night like this?"

 

A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons.

A passerby asks her how old the boys are.

"The doctor is three," the mother answers, "and the lawyer is two."

 

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you two are going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

LESSONS MY JEWISH MOTHER TAUGHT ME

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't behave, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'till all your spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times – Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

 *********************************

Answer is A –  Another one right! I surprised myself on this one. There are tons of nachals in Israel and I certainly don't know the names and locations of all of them. Yet surprisingly I was at least familiar with all of them and have even hiked in most. Dishon in the Eastern Galile near the panhandle is where I usually take my tourists ATV'ing. Amud is near Meron and is a great hike that one can take circularly or to Tzfat and even all the way down to the Kinneret. Neither flow near the Mediteranean. Tirtza, I've never been at but I remembered it from another exam as the largest stream in the Shomron that flows down to the Jordan Valley. Which of course leaves Nachal Betzet in the Western Galile that flows down to the Mediteranean near Rosh Hanikra and that I pass (or used to pass…) regularly.

So keeping our streak going I'm three for three on this exam so far, with the score 3 for Rabbi Schwartz and 0 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

 

The Candidate Test- Parshat Vayeira 5781/ 2020

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

November 6^th 2020 -Volume 11 Issue 4 19^th Cheshvan 5781

 

Parshat Vayeira

The Candidate Test

I'm writing this before there is any conclusion to the 'balagan' elections in country of my birth, despite the declarations of some candidates or talking heads. (And you guys were making fun of the Israeli elections that never seemed to end.) It's the day after, and the only thing that is clear is that half of the most powerful country in the world is about to very disappointed and the other half is going to be ecstatic. What that will lead to, who knows? Will there be a civil war? Will there be riots and protests? Will there be prolonged Supreme Court deliberations questioning the results, the legitimacy of the elections and maybe even the fitness for office of whatever candidate wins which will just be a lead up to all the criminal charges, impeachment efforts and scandals that will emerge once whoever wins takes office? The only thing that is certain is that the Jews will be in the middle of it all. We always are. We're on the wrong side, because generally we're on both sides and that's never good enough and the angry losing side never differentiates. That's despite all the rallies and the signs on your lawn. It's time to make Aliyah brothers and sisters. It's time to come home.

But we've all been infected with election. I think it may turn out to be more lethal than Corona. There aren't too many people that I know that haven't been following this thing and that don't have hopes and won't feel either disappointed or delighted with the votes, that won't be either sitting shiva or making a Kiddush when this is all done. That is except for my wife who figures I'm tapped in enough for the both of us and she's too busy with her clothing business as the breadwinner for the family and mother too. Oh and Yonah too who barely even knows there's an election going on. It wasn't in the sugya he's learning in yeshiva these days and that's all that really interests him. But for the rest of us we've got the disease and thus will have the post-election emotional after-effect that lasts for who know how long. So what do we do about it?

Well of course the first place we Jews are meant to look for solutions is in the Torah. It has the answer and insight for everything that we need. It's the word of Hashem and each week we are all subscribed to His weekly E-Mail to us in the form of the parshat hashavuah with the spiritual social commentary we are meant to have. You can't unsubscribe. So let's take a look at the theme of both this week and last week's Parsha which turns out is exactly the message we need, that I need…

The center figure of parsha Lech Lecha last week and Vayeira this week is of course Avraham Avinu. The central theme of the many diverse stories are that they all make up what are known by our sages as the asara nisyonos- the ten tests or trials that he went through. As in all good Jewish things there's a disagreement how to count that magic number of 10; which stories count and which don't, although most of them are agreed upon by all. But the number ten is certainly the right one. Our sages tell us that was in the merit of the ten tests of Avraham that Pharaoh and the Egyptians suffered the 10 plagues, that we received the 10 commandments and that protected us when we "tested" or rebelled against Hashem ten times in the wilderness. As well we are told that the 10 ma'marot, the ten statements that the world was created with, relate to the 10 tests of Avraham. So "the ten" are a big deal. The question though asked by all is why they are so important. Why do they have such eternal impact? And in truth what's really the point of the test? After-all Hashem knows the future, He knows what's going to happen, He knows Avraham's good and loyal and will pass them, why test him?

There's an old Jewish rule and game that can be played when you want to understand the essence of an idea in the Torah. The rule is that the Hebrew language is a holy one and that the root word and its differing usage can give you a much deeper clue as what the real definition and the idea it represents is truly about. What's the game? Let's take the word and its different permutations and see if we can find the common denominator. And then maybe we can figure out what it's message is for us.

So the word for test is nisa- to test or nisayon a test or a trial-not a court trial, but a personal challenge. The word nes as we all know also means miracle. We say it on Chanukah and it's written on our dreidel- nes gadol haya po- a great miracle happened here. Another variation of the same root word can be found in Bamidbar after the Jews complained about the manna and Hashem sent a plague of serpents to attack them. There Hashem commanded Moshe to make a serpent of copper

Bamidbar (21:8) v'sim oso al ha'nes- to place it on a banner or flagpole.

There is one more that I can think of (although if you can think of more, please share them with me) which is perhaps the oddest stand out and can hopefully be the clue to it all. And that is the word la'noos or va'yanos-which means to run away, escape or flee. We find that Yosef ran away from the wife of Potiphar who was trying to seduce him and that is the word that Torah utilized. In last week's parsha as well we are told the kings of Sodom and Amora fleeing from battle and the word used is vayanusu.

Ok so now for the game. What does a test, a miracle, a banner and escape have in common? Maybe the best way to figure it out is to examine our original question. What actually are the tests and what are they all about? The Rambam lists the ten tests as follows

Rambam on Avot (5:3) The ten tests with which Abraham, our father, was tested are all in the Torah.

1)  The first is his emigration (from his fathers' house) by Hashem's statement - "Lech Lecha-Go forth from your land, etc."

2) The second one is the famine that was found in the Land of Canaan when he came there and it was [the land of] his destiny - "and I will make you into a great nation" And this was a great test…

3)  The third was the injustice of the Egyptians towards him in the taking of Sarah to Pharaoh.

4) The fourth is his fighting against the four kings.

5) The fifth is his taking of Hagar as a wife after he was mi'yoash- despaired of giving birth through Sarah.

6)  The sixth is the circumcision that he was commanded about in the days of his old age.

7) The seventh is the injustice of the king of Gerar towards him in his also taking Sarah.

8) The eighth is the expulsion of Hagar after his being built (having a child) from her.

9) The ninth is the distancing of his son, Yishmael, and Hashem said, "Let not it be bad in your eyes about the youth…." And the Torah already testified how this thing was difficult in his eyes, in its stating, "And the thing was very bad in the eyes of Abraham". Yet he observed the commandment of God, may He be blessed, and expelled him.

10) And the tenth is the binding of Yitzchak

So there we have all ten. The one that jumped out at me upon reading it and that I found a common theme in all of them was number 5); the one where, as the Rambam puts it, he gave up on giving birth from Sarah and then had to marry Hagar. Maybe it's because I hang around Breslavers too much. But it troubled me to say that Avraham was mi'yaeish- he gave up hope. How could the pillar of our faith Avraham give up hope? Doesn't he know the song ein yiush ba'olam klal- one can never give up hope?

I heard an incredible answer to that question that I believe sheds light into all of the tests that Avraham had. The answer is that the test actually was precisely for him to give up hope; to be miya'esh. What do I mean? Let me explain.

 Let's put ourselves in Avraham's shoes for a minute and go through his life. He finds Hashem at a young age on his own and he fights the whole world and even is willing to give his life on that belief and knowledge. He brings thousands close to Hashem and does everything he believes is correct. He has a plan for how to fulfill his role in creation by bringing Hashem down to earth and revealing Him to the world. But then Hashem appears and tells him to forget about it. I want you to do something else. Go to Israel. Do you know what Hashem is asking him? He's asking him to give up all his plans. Forget about it. Be mi'yaesh on all that you had worked and built for the past 50 or more years. That's not my plan. Listen to my voice and come. And Avraham does.

He comes to the land of Israel. He made Aliyah. Here is where those new plans will happen. Hashem even told him so. He begins setting up shop. He loves the country. He feels the holiness. He thinks he finally gets the plan and he's excited to finally be here in the land that his father had dreamed of coming to. But then guess what? There's a famine. He has to leave. He has to make yeridah. He has to be mi'yaesh-give up once again all his preconceptions. All of his goals. All the excitement he must have felt. I personally know some people that have sadly had a failed Aliyah experience. There is nothing more depressing. They had these high hopes and they all come crashing down. Can they do that? Can they pick themselves up again and start all over again another time, without those dreams? Avraham does.

Maybe there is a new plan in Egypt. Maybe there are sparks there that need to be raised. Maybe that's why Hashem is sending me there. The mind is racing, the desire for holiness is bursting. But then his wife gets kidnapped. His partner in life. You get upset when you think the election is stolen from you, how about  if your wife was stolen? He's alone and his wife is who knows where with who knows who doing who knows what. Can I still rid myself of any notions that I understand? Can I still raise a banner above my nature and say that I am flying it for Hashem? Can I run away and escape from all of my preconceived notions about how things are supposed to work? Avraham does.

Let's jump to number 5). Avraham is back in Israel. Hashem has told him he will have a child. He waits 10 years for that to happen. It hasn't. His wife Sarah comes over to him and tells him, "listen honey, Hashem said and promised that you will have a child that will come from you. He never said it would come from me as your wife. Can you be m'yaesh- that I will be the mother of your heir? Can you follow the will of Hashem and marry my maidservant Hagar and have that child from her?" The nisayon of Avraham repeatedly was to be mi'ya'esh again and again from every way that he thought things were supposed to work. It was being faced with disappointment after disappointment. Let down after let down. Everything he had thought was turned on its head and he was challenged with it. Could he tune out and escape from all of his preconceptions of what he thought was the right and important and even holy thing to was and subjugate himself entirely to the will of Hashem. Could he continuously make that always changing paradigm shift. If he could go beyond that natural human ego-centric mindset it would be miraculous. It would be a neis.

What is a miracle? A miracle is when Hashem breaks the natural way our illusory world works as if it runs on its own, revealing that it is really His will that is behind and manipulating it at all times. Do you know what a banner on a flag pole is? It is something that waves high above the rest of the world and declares that this territory is under the domain of the one who placed the banner there. Without the banner it looks hefker-ownerless. Without an army carrying its flag we have no clue who they are marching for. Without the red MAGA hats on your head or the signs on your lawns we don't really know who you are serving. The neis tells me to look at the sign above and you'll comprehend that what stands below it is all about. And that's precisely what a nisayon is. It's the test to define for Avraham if what he is doing is because he has developed his own personal goals, his own set of morals and objectives as holy and as righteous as they are. Or is it about serving Hashem because that's what Hashem tells you to do. The test is how we respond when Hashem shifts the paradigm we always assumed it needed to be.

Why do we get disappointed? Why do we feel excited? Why do we want to make a Kiddush or why are we angry if we feel something has been stolen from us? It's because we have our own ideas of how the world is supposed to run. What will be good for the economy. What will be better for Israel. What will further Hashem's values on this world. How the epidemic will end. We have the nisyonos of Avraham daily and certainly in the crazy year of 2020 more than ever. Time after time Avraham thought he knew what was supposed to be, how it needed to be. It was never for his own sake. It was always for Hashem's. Or was it? The way to know is if Hashem shows you that He wants something different. If it was about Hashem then you are mi'yaesh from your previous plan and go with the new one. It was never about you doing it anyways. There's no need to feel upset. In fact, quite the opposite. You have a new mission now. But we need to be nos- run away from the ego that it has to be "my way" in order to pass the nisayon and miraculously break out of our nature and raise up the banner of Hashem in the new circumstance.

Dovid Ha'melech says Hashem is my manos- Hashem is where I escape to you. He is my place of refuge. He is the place where I can leave behind all of my preconceived expectations and be protected. Not Biden, Not Trump, Not Bibi, Not America, Not even Israel. Not with Dr. Fauci. Not with masks. Not with vaccines. There really is ein od milvado- There really is no one else we should be rallying for. And frankly- and I speak for and to myself here as well, there's no one else that should excite us, that we should make Kiddush for or that we should feel depressed about. Hashem's will is being done, whichever way this thing will play out- if it ever will play out. Our nisayon as Avraham's was is to be omeid in the nisayon- to stand in the test. To stand up without any personal crutches or inclination and understand that it's all an illusion. Hashem is what stands me up.

It's a test, but we have the ability to stand from it because our forefather Avraham instilled it in our DNA. His ten tests that broke free from this world, led to Hashem breaking nature and bringing the ten plagues on Pharaoh who asked "who is Hashem that I should listen to his voice". The ten tests are what led to Hashem letting us hear His voice and giving us the Ten Commandments that reveal the true nature of the world and correspond to the ten statements Hashem created with that still call out each day from the fabric of Creation. Those ten tests stood us time and time again when we tested Hashem in the midbar. When we thought He was running the world wrong. When He wasn't running it according to the way we thought it should be run, because we couldn't escape all the rallying we had done and all the eggs we threw into our own baskets, or the baskets of the Meraglim-spies, of Korach and all of the other candidates that we thought we needed to bring us to the place we were meant to. But the tests of Avraham stood us up. They reminded us who we are. We saw the neis-the banner he raised. We saw the nissim Hashem preformed for us. And we knew that He is our only manos-the one that we need to escape to. To run to. Because He is the one that is running it all and it is His campaign that is ultimately the only one that will win. He's just waiting to count our ballot for Him. And it's never too late to vote.

Elect to have an truly sublime Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" A nayer meylekh mit naye gzeyres,-a nay yor mit naye aveyres."- A new king with new decrees-a new year with new misdeeds."

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

2)The ruler known as “Abu Nabut” is related to:

A) Acre

B) Hebron

C) Jaffa

D) Abu Gosh

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCia_m-EVEA  – Stumbled upon this song and can't believe I never heard it before. My favorite singer and friend Moishie Mendlowitz singing a Ben Tzion Klatzkow song Chanaini Hashem..

 

https://archive.org/details/ka-ka-corona – Country Yossi Corona song?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMHfHe7yL08  – Beautiful song and story Akeida by Yaakov Wasilowicz- try not to cry.. I dare you…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4LPkiJrJSI    – Jewish singers than and now part II Benny Freedman, Avraham Fried, Miami and more..

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 Parshat Vayeira– We have this week the incredible story that changed the topography of Eretz Yisrael forever in the parsha. I am talking of course about the creation of the Dead Sea and the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Amora and the other cities by the fire and brimstone shower that Hashem wrought upon them. It's hard to imagine what the Torah tells us about how lush this now fairly barren wasteland once was. In the Torah's words it was like Egypt by the Nile and it was for that reason that Lot chose to move here with his herds of sheep. Today as one travels through the Sodom mountains one can literally see and taste the hills made up of salt and the caves that are there, that all come from this historic story.

 There are a few very significant things from this story that should give us an appreciation about Eretz Yisrael and our connection to it from this story. The first is that Rashi notes that before Hashem destroys these cities he discusses with Avraham. Does Hashem need the advice of Avraham to do what He feels is necessary? Rashi give us the answer that we need to always remember.

 Bereishis (18:18) It's not nice for me to do this without his knowledge. I gave him this land and these five cities are his…

 What a statement. The land is ours, Hashem doesn't feel he can transform the face of Eretz Yisrael without first talking it over with the father of our nation that was promised the land! And so He does. After all before you turn somebodies lush green vegetable garden backyard into a salt mine you schmooze it over first. But it's much deeper than that. For Rashi continues, as does the verse, and tells us it is because Avraham will teach his children to be righteous and just after him. What does the fact that Avraham will educate have to do with the destruction of Sodom.

 The answer can be found perhaps by answering another question that one of my tourists one time asked me. Why is that Hashem decided to make the lowest place on the planet earth in Eretz Yisrael; the Dead Sea area. There must be some significance to this right? The answer is because the entire function of the world and particularly Eretz Yisrael is to "build Hashem a dwelling place in the lower spheres- the tachtonim". Hashem had enough of all of that angel music upstairs. He's not a big fan of harp music and halos- He wanted some Carlebach and a kumzitz down here with the boys. So if the objective is to raise Hashem up from the lowest place than of course the lowest place has to be here.

 If that's the case then perhaps the message of the destruction of Sodom and the creation of the Dead Sea is that there will always be a memorial and a reminder for the children of Avraham as to what happens if we go down and fall too low. Fire and brimstone. Wasteland and destruction. This is what man can bring to the world though our actions. We have the power and the free will to use this lowest area to build up a palace for Hashem, or we can bring down through our action the destruction of the land. Hashem gave the land to Avraham. It is his and his descendants forever. But the land is dynamic. It is for us to learn how to raise Hashem up as our Father Avraham taught us and not to bring down the destruction of Hashem upon it as the Dead Sea will always remind us.

 That in my opinion is one of the most glorious things about Eretz Yisrael. It is a land that a mere drive though the midbar and a look out of our window at the Sea, will bring us reminders that our actions have consequences. It is the signposts Hashem placed there for us.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

David in Tziklag- 877 BC-  So after Dovid's last encounter with Shaul he realized that he just has to get out of town already. Enough is enough. hwo many more times will he go through this. So he heads back to the Philistine territory to th the city of Gat, which as we mentioned is Tel Safi today near Kfar Menachem. It seems counterintuitive afterall it was just a few months prior that he fled from there and was saved by posing as madman. Achish was protected by two bodyguards who were the brothers of Goliath. This was not a good place. Why would Dovid flee there?

 

The answer suggested by our sages is twofold. First of all, he figured that Shaul wouldn't come hunting for him over in Philistine territory. Second of all he knew that Achish's primary enemy was Shaul and the jewish people. With Dovid being an enemy of them, he reckoned that the enemy of my enemy is my friend and he would be able to keep Dovid out of the Jewish kingdom that way. Besides all this Dovid was coming together with all his merry men at this point, as opposed to last time when he came alone. He figured that Achish would not be interested in picking a fight. The plan in fact worked.

 After humbling himself to Achish, Dovid requested that he be given the city called Tziklag which was outside of the regular Plishti area to the south where he might set up his own shop, thus not taking anything from the resources of the Philistines with whom he was living. Achish agreed and Dovid headed further down South. Now where is this Tziklag place? It seems that this has been a source of much debate by archeologists. The original suggestion was that it was near Gaza in a place called hirbat Zachilika- it sounds a little bit like tziklag the location is nearby so why not? In the 1950's though it seems that was debunked and the new proposal was a place called tel a' Chavilafa by Kibbutz Lahav a little bit north of Beer Sheva. In fact, the kibbutz was originally called Tziklag. Yet that idea was also thrown out and the name lahav was given instead.

 The next proposal was Tel Shera near Mishmar Ha'negev. In fact if one looks on google maps it shows up as Tziklag. As recently as this past June there archeologists that suggest that the name Shera which means law in Arabic got its name after the laws that Dovid established there for the division of booty for soldiers that we will learn about. Yet the most recent suggestion and discovery comes last year when a team of archeologists excavated by Hirbat A Ra'I between Kiryat Gat and Lachish much further north than the other sites. In the recent excavations there a Plishti city was found as well as a Jewish city from the times of Dovid was found there as well. You can check out the video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LDMik4h4Zg . The problem with this is that it seems from our texts that it was located in the Negev and not the Shefela of Yehuda. But regardless let's get back to our story,

 So Dovid heads down there with their men and they really do become like Robin Hood but even worse. They loot, murder and kill the evil Amalekites, Gershurites and Gizrites that lived in the South all the way down to Egypt. They would raid their cities and leave no one alive to tell the story and they would walk away with all of their cattle, sheep and money. When Achish who saw their wealth and booty would ask where it would come from, Dovid would say that it came from the Jewish cities and farms that he was raiding in Judah and Kennites. This enforced Achish's feeling that Dovid was no threat and would be his ally. His trust in Dovid is so strong as we shall see that he even will appoint Dovid as his personal bodyguard as he goes out to wage war against the Jews.

 To be honest this is a great story to share with tourists as I drive through the long drive through the Negev and pass some of these places. I never really did before, as I didn't learn this story. But now that I have I certainly will. Now I just need some tourists to come… but I write this column more for me than for you. Hope someone out there is reading it!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S ELECTION 2020 JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 Election night used to be like the seder night it would go until midnight. In 2016 it was like Shavuos going all night long. Now it looks like it's becoming Ramadan and we will be waiting for a month…

 Can one of my friends please pick me up a wide screen TV as you peacefully protest the election results.

 Whatever happens I implore you, please don't buy up all the toilet paper.

 I just found out that my father voted Democrat… I am in shock… he would have never done that while he was alive.

 By the ruling of our Rabbis an extra name has been added to Trump for our prayers for him "Eliezer". From now on he should be called "Loozer Trump" (it was much better in Yiddish)

 The law states that if you are in line to vote when the polls closed they are legally obligated to allow you to vote. I think we need to establish this law by wedding smorgasbords as well.

 The way it looks now the only way that Trump will make it to 270 is if he loses 50 pounds

 If Trump wins pollsters lose all credibility. If Biden wins kvittels lose all credibility.

 It looks like Election day this year is turning into a three day yom tov

 Right now, they’re erecting a massive protective fence around the White House in the event that things get crazy. I took four years but Trump is finally getting his wall.

At this point, I’m not sure if Trump’s trying to keep protesters out or keep himself in,”

2020 total election votes so far: 139,817,274 Calories I’ve eaten in the past 48 hours: 197,513,872

 TRUMP- Last night I was leading, often solidly, in many key States, in almost all instances Democrat run & controlled. Then, one by one, they started to magically disappear as surprise ballot dumps were counted. VERY STRANGE

 Me- Last night I had an entire pizza in front of me. Then one by one, the slices started to magically disappear as the night went along. VERY STRANGE, and now this morning there is no sign of it.

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Answer is C –  And so right from the start we start with the difficult and crazy questions of information I will never need or use. But whadaya know, despite not having a clue who this Abu Nabut is I got the right answer with a bit of process of elimination. I know Akko and Chevron pretty well and I know some of the Arab names associated with those cities and I don't remember any Abu Nabuts, I figured Abu Ghosh, a little suburb outside of Telshe Stone doesn''t have anything to significant about it where Jaffa on the other hand certainly does. So I went with Jaffa which was the correct answer! Turns out this Abu Nabut, which means father of the "club" because he walked around with a club all day and beat up people, was good friends and lived at the same time as EL Jazzar " the butcher of Akko" who was governor of that city, while Nabut ruled Jaffa. He even tried to take over Akko but was stopped by Haim Farchi and ultimately that led to Farchi's downfall. So technichally there is an Akko connection too. But being that Nabut was the governor of Jaffa that would be the correct answer. So we start off the new exam on top with 2 for Rabbi Schwartz and 0 for the Ministry of tourism.