Lesson of a Receding Hairline- Parshat Naso 2021/ 5781

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

May 21^st 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 32 10^th Sivan 5781

 

Parshat Naso

Lesson of a Receding Hairline

It's a sensitive issue for most men my age. We look in the mirror after our showers and we watch that once healthy full hairline retreat slowly... Inch by inch...just like the French at the slightest confrontation. I don't want to see more of my forehead, Thank you very much. I am happier knowing about what's in my mind, not what's no longer on it. It's too bad that hair doesn't weigh that much, my diet plan might be going a little stronger. Well at least I might save on shampoo products soon.

 The Torah also seems to have some interesting thoughts and laws regarding hair care. We are prohibited to shave the sides of our hair. Maimonides explains this was an idolatrous practice back, one of the few that seems to have remained even today with some of the bizzare haircuts I see people walking around with-generally at these "Pride" parades, although the way they look is really not much to be proud of. We are told we can't use razors to shave with (electric shavers are generally fine). The Levi and the Metzora would have to have their heads shaved as part of their service. In this week's Torah portion though, we are told about two of the most fascinating individuals that the Torah focuses its hair laws on.

 The first law mentioned in the Torah portion is that of a woman whom witnesses reported that she had secluded with a man whom she had previously been warned not to be alone with and was thus under suspicion of having committed adultery. The Torah commands that she be brought to the Kohen where she would undergo a process of Divine discovery. The Kohen would uncover her hair publicly (it is from here we derive the law that married Jewish woman customarily would, and should, cover their hair), and then he would have her drink from the Sota water (non-carbonated J). This was special water that had the name of Hashem dissolved in it, to discern whether she was faithful or not. (PS- it wouldn't work if her husband was ever unfaithful).

 The second hair-law-person in the parsha is the Nazirite. He is someone who has undertaken a vow, like the great Samson and the prophet Samuel, to lead an ascetic lifestyle either for a period of time or for life. This person would be prohibited from wine and grape products, from coming in contact with the dead and last but certainly most visible was that was the prohibition to cut their hair. Even more fascinating when his Nazirite term is over he is obligated to shave off of his hair. Hashem also seems to be pretty obsessed with hair. What is it all about?

 There is an interesting Medrash, that goes back to the Garden of Eden when Eve, the first woman, was created. The Zohar tells us that when Hashem personally braided her hair before bringing her to Adam. I bet you didn't know that Hashem doubled as a Hairdresser? After the sin, when they were thrown out of the garden, the Medrash tells us her hair was disheveled and it was from that time that the concept of married Jewish women covering their hair began. That's pretty cool, isn't it?

 Our sages explain that hair is meant to represent the physical extension of our power of imagination; that which grows out of our mind. When Eve was first given the role and power to draw out the imagination of man, to be his partner in fulfilling his dreams and to braid together the inspiration of his passions bringing it to glorious fulfillment in the service of the Almighty, her hair was perfectly and Divinely braided. Yet when she caused Man to sin, she lost that perfect crown. Her hair and the illusions of the grandeur that she would get from eating the forbidden fruit, itself became a force that tempted man's imagination rather than restraining and channeling it. Forever thereafter the hair would have to be covered and restrained, to hold that power intact from the temptations of all men, besides one's own husband.

 With this understanding we can explain the lesson of the Sota woman and the Nazir. The woman who behaved in an illicit way with another man serves as a demonstration to all of the Jewish people of what happens when one's fantasy and imagination runs amok. That special crown of the beauty of the perfectly covered hair, which speaks to the modesty of Jewish women in restraining their passion to be used exclusively with her partner in life, is lost on this woman. The results of that loss reflects itself in the ultimate shame that is experienced.

 Similarly, the Nazir, we are told, is an individual who feels that he is too tempted by his passions and his looks. He feels he cannot express his natural human self-control of living within in this world and elevating it. He wants to take a vow of asceticism and separation. His hair is left to grow unnaturally long and untamed because he has spiritually put the brakes on his passion by his vows and his long hair testifies to imagination run wild. It's not the proper way to be. We are meant to channel our physical drives and desires. We are meant to comb and control our hair, those outgrowths of our imagination; to be that Divine image that God created; no holier and not wilder. The Nazir, when his vow is over, shaves his hair to symbolize that he now re-enters the natural path of growth of his live and his drives. The wild temptations are now subdued.

 Hashem has given us with hair, an incredible barometer of our lives. When we are born we are mostly bald; no major dreams or passions. Change my diaper. Feed me, That's it. As we get older our hair grows. We groom our passions, we direct them, we cut and trim them and they grow properly. Divinely. Yet as we age our hair becomes one of the first symbols of the loss of all those dreams. They turn gray, then white, and then sadly, one-by-one they begin to fall out. At a certain age we don't dream any more. We have either accomplished or we haven't. Although in Judaism we know it's never too late to start, our hair reminds us that unless we act quickly our time is running out. Those strands get thinner and fewer the older we get and no shampoo in the world can bring it back. Hair today-gone tomorrow. So the next time you look in the mirror think of the message of the hair from days gone by and comb those stalwart remaining strands and promise them a better future.

 Have an uplifting bracha-filled Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Az men git dem tayvl a hor, vil er di gantse bord." – If you give the devil a hair, he'll want the whole beard

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

29) The UN vote on the “Partition Plan” took place on:

A) November 29th

B) 4th of Iyar

C) 5th of Iyar

D) May 15th

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 https://youtu.be/OZYrMFE0jms    – Baruch Levine's latest- V'Sein Chelkainu, beautiful

https://youtu.be/S36CIWBjmAE   – Ari Goldwag's latest song from his new album Ashira La' Hashem

 https://youtu.be/5XnaguT2fmo  - Armed- The story of Lubavitcher Rebbi's Teffilin campaign, fascinating

 https://youtu.be/e7fFqeofXfU -  Song that Children in Kindergarden in Israel learn about going into bomb shelters!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbHXW5GsO8E   -My favorite new Chanan Ben Ari song of the month and maybe of the year- this week with a incomprehensible bizzare Lego video. Who cares? It's still a great song…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Blessed  – Parshat Naso- Rav Shteiman didn't like going to America. He didn't like leaving Israel at all. Truth is, I don't like it much and don't think most people that love Eretz Yisrael like going to "shmutz la'aretz". We waited 2000 years to finally be able to get back here and leave here, why would you ever want to live. But Rav Shteiman had a different objection about leaving. He didn't want to miss out on the daily Kohanim blessing that the custom in Eretz Yisrael is to still have every day. In fact even when he was in Chutz La'Aretz, interestingly enough even when he was there he would be strict about davening in a sefardic minyan that do recite the blessing even in the Diaspora. The story is even told that once when he couldn't get to a Minyan he gathered a minyan outside of the shul he davened at and had them do a special birkat Kohanim for him!

 The truth it is a real difficulty and unique custom that we find that there is no "Duchening" ( the Yiddish word for Kohen blessing), in Chutz La'aretz today. Almost all of the major halachic authorities deal with this dilemma. For it seems to be clear from the Talmud and from the law that there is no difference between Israel and the Diaspora in regards to this basic biblical mitzva. I can't think of any other mitzva that one is obligated to do in Chutz La'aretz that the custom just became that we don't do it anymore there. Sure there are plenty of mitzvos that only apply to Eretz Yisrael, like the Shemitta year, the tithes and agricultural mitzvos. But mitzvos that don't have to do with the land, such as eating matza, sitting in a Sukka, making Kiddush on Shabbos and wearing Teffilin are kept in Chutz La'Aretz just as they are kept here. Duchening is just like that. Yes, it's true they do duchen on holidays, but the mitzva is to do it daily just as it is done here. So what's going on?

 There are many different suggestions that run the gamut from the Kohanim in Chutz La'artetz not being as meyuchas- not having the same lineage certainty to them, there are others that suggest that it was too cold to go to the Mikva beforehand outside of Eretz Yisrael and thus they literally threw out the Kohein with the Mikva water to paraphrase the baby bathwater metaphor. The Chasam Sofer suggests that the reason it was stopped because since life is so challenging in Chutz La'Aretz and people are so busy with work, their minds wander during the service. Being that the Kohanim blessing is not a prayer but rather like a service that was done in the Mikdash then one who's mind is in another place during the service is called pigul and it is thus invalid. Similarly, the ReMa writes that it is too difficult to be b'simcha- rejoiceful during the weekday when everyone thinks about the trials and tribulations of earning living under the nations of the world. Only on Yom Tov can one reach the elevated level to truly feel happy. PS to feel as happy as a Jew that lives in Eretz Yisrael feels every day. And thus he says the minhag became to stop reciting it.

 All of the above reasons that are given seem to be according to those that write them, halachic justifications for a practice that seemed to have taken hold.  In Torah language we call it a limud zechus- finding some type of merit or benefit of the doubt for those not keeping the law. In fact, the Gaon of Vilna and the Baal Ha'Tanya both seemed to try to reestablish the custom mitzva to duchen outside of Eretz Yisrael and it seems from heaven they were both stopped, by mysterious clearly Divine circumstances that prevented them from doing so.

 If this is about a limud zechus than perhaps one more can be added to the above list. The blessing of the Kohanim is only given in Eretz Yisrael (at least for the Ashkenazim) to remind the Jews in the Diaspora that despite the feeling that the lives that they have there are blessed… they really aren't. Hashem's blessing is only here. As well perhaps to remind those of us that live in Eretz Yisrael that leaving and god forbid moving outside of Eretz Yisrael for whatever reason is in fact giving up this daily blessing. People will travel all over the world to get the blessing of this Rabbi or that miracle worker. They travel to foreign countries to daven at some grave of a great tzadik. But there is no better place to come to where we can receive the daily blessing of V'Ani Avarachem- that Hashem tells us that He will bless us with. He will watch over us, He will shine His countenance upon us. He will show us grace and He will grant us peace. It's worth coming and living in Eretz Yisrael just to receive that each day!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Avshalom's Revenge- 865 BC – After Tamar's horrific abuse at the hand of her brother/half-brother (see last week for the question about their exact relationship), she heads on over to her brother Avshalom's house. He's not a happy a camper. Particularly jarring to him is Dovid's silence and lack of response, so he swears revenge and waits two years until things die down. Revenge is a dish best eaten cold.

 And it was the time of the shearing of the sheep, the Navi tells us. The law is that the first wool that is shorn is given to the Kohen. Avshalom was living in Baal Chatzor at the time. The mountain of Baal Chatzor is the highest in the Binyamin and Shomron region standing at about 3000 feet. It's just North East of the Jewish settlement of Ofra. It's here that fascinatingly enough the Dead Sea scrolls found in Kumran some suggest Avraham stood with Lot and looked out over to the Midbar and chose to move there to Sodom (although it seems unlikely geographically). 

In honor of the ceremony Avshalom convinced Dovid to send all of his brothers to join him for this festive ceremony. Dovid although a bit hesitant, was fooled by Avshalom's insistence and felt safe that perhaps with all of the brothers there would be no danger. Once again, we see that Dovid's weak spot was his inability to see the bad in his children. Once Avshalom had them all there, he ordered his men to kill Amnon after he was a bit shikkered up at the party, and they did. The other brothers fled horrified and terrified that they would be next. This is pretty much, as I said, a crazy situation getting worse and worse. Dovid had gotten fake news that all of his sons were killed and obviously was distraught. Yet, that bad friend of Amnon who had gotten this whole thing started relayed that it was only Amnon that was killed and that Dovid should have mercy on Avshalom.

 This part of the story ends with Avshalom fleeing to his non-Jewish Zaidy, the father of his mother who was the King of Geshur, on the other side of the Kinneret in the Golan. He remains there for three years. In all of that time Dovid never stopped mourning Avshalom and the continued fall-out that all stemmed from his sin of taking Batsheva.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE BALD JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 One day little Rivkah Stern was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Mommy, why are some of your hairs white?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

Little Rivkah thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Mommy, what in the world did you do to Bubbie to make ALL of her hairs are white!?"

 What do you call a barber that only works on bald people? An air stylist.

 Bald Dating is a dating app for bald people that's completely free...You don't have toupee.

 What do you call lice that lives in a bald man’s head? Homeless

 A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took him into his study and said, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut, and then we'll talk about it."

After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father's study where the father said, "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut."

The young man waited a moment and then replied, "But father, in my studies I've learned that Samson, who was loved by God and a leader of the Jewish people, also had long hair. Can't I follow in the footsteps of the great Samson?"

The rabbi replied, "Sure you can follow in Samson's footsteps, because he walked everywhere he went."

 Hear the one about the bald guy getting bumped to business class after passengers made fun of him? Talk about the advantages of a reseating airline.

 There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline!!! OYY I can't…

My friend went completely bald years ago, but he still carries a comb with him. He just can’t part with it.

Yitzhak and Melvyn live in a retirement home. One day, as they are sitting on a bench under a tree, Yitzhak turns to Melvyn and says, "Melvyn, I'm 85 years old and I'm full of aches and pains. You're about my age. How do you feel?" 
Melvyn replies, "I feel just like a new-born baby." 
"Really? Like a baby?" 
"Yes," replies Melvyn, "no hair, no teeth and I can hardly walk."

 Moishe Goldberg had a hairdresser at the same intersection for years. It was called “Moishe’s Hair Salon.” But out of nowhere, a new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from Moishe. The new hair dresser was called “Chris’s Hair Salon.”

Chris put up a big bold sign that read: "WE GIVE TEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!"

Not to be outdone, Moishe put up his own sign: "WE FIX TEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!"

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Answer is A- This one is also pretty easy except that the date is perhaps more familiar to those here in Israel as Kaf Tet B'November. In my tour guide course it was pointed out to us that there was significance to the naming of that date with the Hebrew English mix. It was the statement of the blend between the ancient Hebrew number of kaf tet which is of course the gematria 29. While November is the secular date. The mindset was to take the secular significance of the date and Hebraize it. The other dates 5^th of Iyar is Israeli independence Day when Israel announced its independence a few months after the British mandate ended and the UN vote took place. May 15^th was the secular date and is known as Nakba date by the Arabs when they mourn the establishment of the State. Generally they celebrate by protesting and killing Jews in years like this one. Well if their hatred is as a repeated reminder of how important having our Jewish state is and to thank and daven to Hashem that he continue to bring the redemption, protecting us and destroying our enemies. Thus the score and streak continue at 22 for Rabbi Schwartz and 7 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

Birthday Mystery- Shavuot- Parshat Naso 2020/5780

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

May 28^th 2020 -Volume 10 Issue 32 5^th Sivan 5780

Shavuot Edition

Birthday Mystery

Happy Birthday Aliza! I know women for some reason don't like remembering birthdays. But my wife just gets younger every year so it's really not a problem. One would think that having to serve as a full time mother and father and grandmother as well as rebbetzin and American clothing entrepreneur (new and second hand in great condition delivered to your door at great prices… Sorry for the ad but times are rough. If you no longer wish to see ads in future E-mails just click on the link at the end and make a donation or sponsorship- now back to you regularly scheduled E-Mail…) that it would age you. But not my wife. She just gets younger every day. I think I get the credit, but she seems to feel it's her chiropractor. Ah well… Well she deserves a big happy Birthday shout-out and kind of enjoys them. So Mazel Tov on your 21^st  B-day again until 120!

Now I on the other hand, do not really celebrate birthdays. It's not that I have anything against Birthdays or parties in general. I like them and would have a birthday party every day of the year if I could. With presents. Frankly I think having a Hebrew Birthday and an English one is not enough. We should have a Chinese and Muslim one too… Don't they also have a different calendar? The reasons I don't celebrate birthdays is also not because of some insecurity that I may have that I am not aging well. I am aging just right. I draw my timelessness from my wife. Rather the reason I'm not a birthday celebrator is because of my Mom. See, my mother always taught me that Birthdays are not days that we deserve to celebrate or receive presents. What did we do to be born on this day? She was the one that did all the work. The hours of labor, months of pregnancy, forget about all the heartache raising me. Birthdays should be days that we celebrate our parents who brought us into this world. Why does the birthday boy get the cake and gifts? Mom should. At least that's what they told me when they would take all my presents my friends bought me and put them in the closet downstairs to give out to other friends on their birthdays. Their parents felt the same way, by the way so I think they eventually made them back to that closet. There are probably a bunch of old Atari games sitting there still. Happy Birthday!

Now it's interesting thing about birthdays particularly at this time of year because as Shavuos approaches we are also told that much of the holiday is also meant to serve as a birthday (and death-day-yahrtzeit) party for one of the most important figures in Jewish history. None other than Dovid Hamelech. In fact, one of the reasons why we read the book of Rus on Shavuos is because the Book is really the pre-history (or origin story like in superhero comics) that leads up to the story of his birth. In some communities they even have a custom to read the Book of tehillim written by Dovid Hamelech on Shavuos. Happy Birthday Dovid Hamelech!

Now there is a problem with this custom and tradition that I noted one year. See the Talmud tells us that Shavuos could fall out on a few different dates. Yet it must always be 50 days from Pesach In the times of the Beit Hamikdash whether a month would have 29 or 30 days would be based on the court establishing it based on the testimony of witnesses that would see the new moon.  So if Nisan and Iyar were both short months then Shavuos would fall out on the 7^th of Sivan which would be 50 days from Pesach. If they were both full months, then Shavuot would be on the 5^th of Sivan. And if, as we have it today when we have a set calendar in place, one month is full and one is short then it is on the 6^th of Sivan. So if Shavuot could be on any of those three days, when was Dovid's birthday? Did he celebrate all 3?

The truth is there is a bigger problem than when to just make Dovid Ha'melech's party. What about the day that the Torah was given? What was in fact the calendar date? It would seem sometimes they would say the word in their prayers and Kiddush "zman matan toraseinu- the time of the giving of our Torah" on the 5^th of Sivan some years, the 6^th other years and sometimes even on the 7^th. Now I know for Americans and those that are living in the Diaspora that are used to having an extra day of the holiday even though it's not the real day; by Pesach, Sukkos and Shavuos, this may not be so troubling. I mean you're used to saying that Pesach is the time we left Egypt for one additional 8^th day-despite the fact that its only supposed to be a 7 day holiday and similarly for Shmini Atzeret when you chutznkim clearly celebrate simchas Torah on the 9^th day of Sukkos. Certainly for Shavuot when you've been saying zman matan toraseinu for two days every year although the Torah was clearly only given on one day would make you too used to it to these inconsistencies in your davening to be troubled by this question. It's the price you pay for living in Exile still…But for us living in Israel who will be joining you this year in a two-day weekend celebration-although our second day is Shabbos. We ask questions like this. Will the real day of Shavuot please stand up?

One of the reasons why it is really pretty important to know what day we received the Torah is because, you see, Shavuos is our national birthday. We have a law that a non-Jew that converts is like a new born baby. The day he accepts the entire Torah goes to the Mikva and joins our nation is the first day of the rest of his life. I once had a convert friend of mine who was about 70 years old and he had converted when he was well into his 50's. When asked how old he was he would say he was 20 after-all he was only "born" Jewish 20 years before. That's one way to shave off some years…So it would then seem that the day that we accepted the Torah as well would be our birthday. So what date is it? When's the party?

I'm really not kidding about the party, by the way. I rarely do. For the Talmud tells us that opposed to other holidays where there is a debate whether they are days that should be celebrated for "Hashem" with only spiritual endeavors, or lachem- for us with eating drinking and partying, on Shavuot there is no debate. There always has to be a party with eating and drinking. Why? Because it is the day the Torah was given. Why is that a reason for us to celebrate physically? Shouldn't that be a spiritual expression? The answer is because the giving of the Torah meant it's our birthday and what's a birthday without a party. But yet it still seems that it would be a lot easier to celebrate if we nailed down what date on the calendar that happened.

Rebbi Nachman of Breslav has an interesting insight about birthdays. He is quoted as saying your birthday is the day of the year that Hashem decided that the world could not last another minute without your existence. As believing Jews we understand that there is nothing in random in this world. Everything has a plan. Hashem sits up in heaven and not a blade of grass grows without His divine say-so. A China Man doesn't sneeze in Wuhan after eating a bat without some type of global world plan that will be impacted as a result of it. Some time we see that hand, most times we can't. But certainly there is not a child born where one doesn't witness and feel like they just experienced a miracle. And they are right. Every child is a miracle. It is Hashem bringing them into the world. And the reason He is doing so is because that soul has something special that only it can accomplish. No one else around in the world could do what he or she could.

Reb Moshe Shapiro in an incredible lecture tells us the secret of Dovid Ha'Melech's birthday. He suggests that Dovid's birthday is 50 days after Pesach. To a certain degree the day Hashem decided the world couldn't exist without Dovid is above mere calendar dates. The day that it was decided that the world could never exist without him being born goes way back to the garden of Eden; to the 6^th day of Creation. The same day that mankind in the form of Adam was born.

The Medrash tells us that Hashem showed Adam all of the generations of the world. And then he heard this beautiful neshoma singing out. It was the soul of Dovid. When Adam asked how long he would live. Hashem answered that he was meant to live for only 3 hours. Adam immediately asked Hashem if he could "gift" him some of his own years. When Hashem agreed, Adam gave Dovid 70 years of his own life. Adam thus lived only until 930 years, while Dovid lived his 70 years, which were in reality the years of Adam's before he sinned.

It is non-coincidental I believe that the 6^th day of Creation in the Torah as well is called Yom Hashishi. "THE" 6^th day. The 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd day as well as the other days of creation are not called THE with caps. They are just yom echad, sheni and shlishi. Friday is called The 6^th day and Rashi notes it is a reference to the day that Hashem would give the Torah, the future 6^th of Sivan.

"The Torah added the letter “hey” on the sixth [day], at the completion of the Creation, to tell us that Hashem stipulated you were created on the condition that Israel accept the Five Books of the Torah.” [The numerical value of the “hey” is five.]  Another explanation for “the sixth day”: They [the works of creation] were all suspended until the “sixth day,” referring to the sixth day of Sivan, which was prepared for the giving of the Torah.

The two interpretations of Rashi are fascinating the first one notes that the letter hei represents us accepting the Torah. The second is the 6^th of Sivan that was "prepared" for the giving of the Torah. Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev suggests that the 6^th of Sivan is when Hashem wanted to give the Torah. It is the day of the light of the Torah. But the accepting of the Torah? That is different for every Jew on the day that he accepts it. It's why we don't say in our prayers, that Shavuot is the day of kabalat Hatorah-receiving of the Torah. It is the day of matan torah- the day when Hashem sends out that light which we can each tap into; the day of the giving of the gift of the Torah. When we can each be born.

Both the Torah and Dovid were created at the beginning of time. They came from there because their job was to return us after we had sinned to that perfect world once again. The function of the world was to reach the heavens and bring it down here to this world. Torah is the way that we could do that. Dovid, who represents kingship in this world will be the king whose only desire is to build a home for Hashem in this world.  Dovid who wrote the book of Tehillim describes himself as V'Ani Tefila- I am prayer. His entire life was focused on removing sin, longing for Hashem, returning to His palace, bringing the world to its fulfillment. It is his descendant Mashiach that will ultimately return the world to its original glory before sin entered the world. To the time once again when the spirit of Hashem will live in the garden with man. 

There is no birthday for Dovid as there is no birthday for the Torah that the Jews accepted and became a nation. It's not a day on a calendar. It is once we traverse the 49 steps and days from the lowest levels of this world and impurity of Egypt to the Mountain where we see Hashem's presence (presents?) revealed to each and every one of us as we stood together. It is when we reveal the spark of Rus the grandmother of Dovid and Mashiach that comes from the lowest of nations Moav-which in gematria is 49 as well. It is the 50^th day. The day after the counting of Malchus She'bmalchus that the 49^th corresponds to. When the Kingdom above matches the kingdom below. It is the day when heaven and earth will be connected.

Do you know why birthdays are depressing for some people? Because they look back at their lives and they either see how much they have accomplished and wonder if their best days are behind them. Or alternatively they see how much they wanted to accomplish and wonder if they ever will. At the end of the day a birthday for all people is looking at that clock on our lifespan and watching all the sand in the timer drop down to the bottom. But what if we were eternal? If the clock just had an endless amount of sand being poured into it so it could keep going and going and going. Then birthdays are not so depressing anymore.

Do you know who is eternal. Dovid Melech Yisrael Chai V'kayam. Do you know what else is eternal? Torah- it is Chukas Olam-our eternal code that was created before time. And finally do you know what else is eternal? You got it. Am Yisrael Chai. When we accepted the Torah we linked ourselves with that book, that wisdom and that light that would shine our way back to Gan Eden. That would herald in Mashiach ben David who would lead us, and behind us the rest of the world, to that perfect world. To the time when Hashem is echad and His name is echad. It is one with us. It is one with the world. Then once again the world will celebrate the ultimate eternal birthday party it has been waiting for.

Have an Happy Shavuot and a fantastic Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Tzu Vos loyftz du? vet moshiakh geboyrn vern mit a tog shpeter." Why are you hurrying? so the messiah will be born a day later…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email
 

29) The Declaration of the Establishment of the State of Israel was proclaimed on:

A.    November 29th

2. 4 Iyar
3. 5 Iyar
4. May 15th

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/Xsysf84ooGo  - Yiddish old folk songs done with a big band… How many can you recognize?

https://youtu.be/jsX5LzGmRBw - Nissim Black latest video hit-with my good friend Jacob Lunon guest feature nad Amar Studemire cool!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vrq0aWO0ZE  – Here's a Carlebach Dovid Melech Yisrael that I guarantee you have never heard before… I don't know where this even came from…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6x7c_fGKk7I  – And of course nothing beats the classic Diaspora Yeshiva band Dovid Melech

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Naso-Priestly blessing – Birkat Kohanim-All our mitzvos are amazing. But IMHO some are more amazing than others. Like Shabbos for example is just fantastic. Our holidays are a party. Even the sacrifices sound pretty cool, especially the ones we can eat. In that category is the mitzva in this week's parsha of being blessed by the Kohanim. I mean, like how great is that? We are commanded and get a mitzva to receive the special blessing from Hashem through the Kohanim. It's like someone is paying you to win a prize. Or paying you to tour around Israel and show off what an amazing country we have. Hey, I know someone that used to have that job…

So the Mitzva on the Kohanim of blessing the Jewish people the Rambam actually writes that it is 3 possible commandments

Rambam (Hilkhot Tefilla U-nsiat Kappayim 15:12) Any kohen who does not ascend to the dukhan, even though he has violated one positive commandment, it is as if he violates three commandments, as it says, 'In this way shall you bless,' 'You shall say to them,' and 'So shall they put My name.'"

The Sefer Chareidim learns that this is a mitzva on the congregation as well to get blessed. Now this may not be just a simple mitzva. See the Kohen would do this mitzva daily as part of the service in the Beis Hamikdash. Today we know longer have the Beit Hamikdash anymore. We cannot bring sacrifices, although we pray for the day when we can. Yet when the Kohen blesses us it is as if he is doing the one part of the Temple service that still remains. Yes, he cannot say the explicit name of Hashem as he was able to back then when he blessed the people. But this is still the exact identical fulfillment of a positive commandment of Temple service blessing as it was during the Beis Hamikdash. It is for this reason there are some opinions that even the washing of the hands that the levi'im do for the Kohanim before they bless the people (or if there are no Levi'im incidentally some suggest the bechorim should wash them) is to be done as it was done in the Temple and specifically for the same reason. It is a temple blessing they are giving over to us.

In a nutshell the basic laws are that the Kohanim remove their shoes they stand at the front of the shul and after being called (if there is more than one) they make them blessing and turn around lifting their hands and reciting in a loud voice word by word after the chazzan the blessing. The congregation need to be standing as well for the blessing and must be in front of the chazzan not behind him. So if the bima in your shul is sticking out it is important for the Rabbi or whoever else is in the front of the shul to move out and get blessed. In the times of the Temple the Talmud tells us if one would look at the Kohanim while they blessed and said the actual Name of Hashem they could go blind. Today no one is going blind if you peek. However, the custom is not to look at the Kohanim and parents even place their children under the tallit during the blessing. It is of course important to answer Amein after each blessing.

The only question that remains which is truly one of the more fascinating halachos and stories is why they don't do this mitzva even outside of Israel. There seems to be no difference between Israel and the diaspora regarding this mitzva. And it seems in the times of the temple and even afterwards they would do it there as well. In fact Sefardim do recite it outside of Israel as well and they certainly get a mitzva and blessing. The Maharil mentions that there were Kohanim that didn't do it because it would be too cold to go to the Mikva first, or possibly because people would have to go to work and the couldn't concentrate. Which both seem like bizarre reasons to stop doing this mitzva. The Rema writes the custom of ashkenaz to recite it only yom tov is because people are happy and have time to enjoy the blessing as opposed to during the week. It is told that the Gaon of Vilna decided he wanted to institute the recitation of the blessing once again during the week, but the next morning he was arrested. His student Reb Chayim Volozhin decided he would do it and then the shul burnt down. It seems from heaven they didn't want those outside of Israel to get the blessing unless they came here. I think that's a good punishment personally-along with 3 day yom tovs. But hey, I only felt that way since I moved here.

God willing may we soon experience the priestly blessing in the Beit Hamikdash soon!

  

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

The Return of the Ark -831 BC – This is a story that I actually do have the opportunity to share with my tourists often. At least I used to when they were still able to come here. It's actually one of my favorite ones because it is so dramatic and the location is so precise. Great views to visualize it. A tour guides dream.

We left off last week with the Ark being left in the fields of the Plishtim after it wreaked havoc on their cities. It seems that it continued to damage from there as well and after 7 months they pretty much had enough. So they went to their magicians and Priests which are kind of like the same thing as both deal with fake realities and lies. The Priests were not fond of the idea of sending it back to the Jews but the problem with being the religious leaders of a superstitious people is that you really don't want to get on their bad side. So they came up with a plan. They would send the Aron back to the Jews but hedge their bets against it actually going back. They would hitch it up to a wagon led by two nursing cows who just gave birth. They would keep their baby cows behind. Obviously the tendency of a mother cow would be to go back to its babies-unless it was quarantined together with them for two months or so J-so if they went against their nature then it would be a sign that Hashem was behind everything and they would send back the cows.

So off they went probably along Highway 38 to Beit Shemesh. They sent with the cows some nice presents that they thought Hashem would appreciate; some golden mice and golden hemorrhoids.. Those were the things that plagued them. Yeah the Plishtim weren't really known for their appropriate gifts, although you do have to give them credit for originality. This road is an uphill climb from the coastline where the Plishtim were. It was another challenge against these cows. As well, the cows chosen had never had a yoke put on them so they certainly wouldn't travel on the rough road. But they did.

It was the time when the Jews were cutting the wheat in the fields by Beit Shemesh and they looked up towards the road and there was the Ark and the cows much to their surprise. This is really a great time of year to tell this story. Tel Beit Shemesh right across the street from Beit Shemesh has much of it excavated already. One can see the old city walls and houses that were there. And as you sit on the hill one can see the wheat fields and can picture the cows and wagon coming up the road. They also, by the way have an amazing huge water system underground there. The Jews see the Ark and they start to rejoice. They take the wagon and break it down and use its wood for an altar to bring the cows as sacrifices to Hashem in appreciation. What an amazing day… until it wasn't.

See all of a sudden a plague broke out amongst the Jews. It was bad. How bad? It's a strange verse the navi tells us that 70 people were killed and 50,000 were killed. Well which one was it? So the Talmud brings two opinions the first is that only 70 people were killed but they were each as great as 50,000. The other opinion is that in fact 50,000 were killed and each of them were as great as the 70 members of the Sanhedrin. Why did this happen. Again, the Navi is not clear. It seems that there were two problems the first was that one is not supposed to look and gaze at the Ark uncovered. They should have covered it up. Alternatively, some suggest that they opened it up to look inside at the Tablets (this would of course not follow the opinion that Shaul had taken them out that I mentioned in a previous column). An entirely different approach was that this was a punishment for them leaving the Ark by the Plishtim for so long and not attempting to retrieve it. If their sheep or goat would be taken they would run after it why not the Aron. Regardless this was a very bad thing.

So the Jews like the Plisthim decided they didn't want the Ark there so they sent it on over to Kiryat Yearim. Today that is the name of Telshe Stone (where my inlaws live) right outside of Yerushalayim. The ancient biblical city of Kiryat Yearim though was in the village right next door in Abu Ghosh. There is a catholic church there called appropriately Our Lady of the Ark of the Covenant. Well appropriately besides the "Our lady" part which is for the big statue of Mary and her mamzer in her hand. The church was built in 1924 not far from a Byzantine church nearby as this was the location where the Ark then rested for the next 20 years until Dovid will return it to Yerushalayim. Obviously today because of the church excavations really have not been done much on the site. Although some prehistoric remains and graves have been found there.

This column always works out with some hand of Hashem. Isn't it cool to read about the return of the Ark with the ten commandments returning to us right before Shavuos when we first received them?

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE BIRTHDAY JOKES  OF THE WEEK

(Because even I'm sick of Covid Jokes already)

One year, Louis didn't know what to buy his mother-in-law for her birthday, so he bought her a large plot in the cemetery. 

The following year, Louis bought her nothing for her birthday and his wife was quick to comment loud and long on his thoughtlessness to her mother. 

"So, why didn't you buy her something?" she snapped at him. 

"Well, she hasn't used the gift I gave her last year," he replied.  

The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benjy was coming up to his 108th birthday so they sent one of their reporters to interview him.
"How do you account for your longevity?" asked the reporter.
"You could say that I am a health nut," Benjy answered. "I have never smoked or drunk alcohol, I am always in bed by ten o'clock, I’ve been going to Israeli dance classes since I was a teenager and I've always walked three miles a day, even in rain or snow."
"But," said the reporter, "my uncle Shlomo followed exactly the same routine and he died when he was 70. So how come it didn't work for him?"
"All I can say," replied Benjy, "is that he didn't keep it up long enough." 

Avrahom walks into a department store and goes straight to the perfumery department.  He says to an assistant, "Today is my wife Sharon’s birthday and I would like to buy her a nice bottle of French perfume.
The assistant says, "That will be a nice surprise for her."
Avrahom replies, "It sure will – she’s expecting a diamond necklace." 

At his 100th birthday Moshe was asked to explain his longevity.
"Onions." Onions?
"Yes, onions. Every morning I eat a whole onion for breakfast. At noon I eat 2 onions. In the evening I have 2 onions, and before bed 1 more onion. Then at night when the Angel of Death comes and calls out "Moshe, Moshe", I face him directly and answer "Whoooooo?"    

Not long after attending her grandson Paul’s 12th birthday party, Rebecca has a heart attack. Whilst in hospital, she starts to plead with her cardiologist. "Oy, doctor David," she says, "you’ve just got to keep me alive for the next 12 months so that I can attend my bubbeleh grandson Paul’s barmitzvah. He’s my first grandchild."
"I’ll do my utmost to get you there, Rebecca," says doctor David.
"Thank you doctor," says Rebecca. And 12 months later, Rebecca does indeed attend Paul’s barmitzvah.
Ten years later, whilst Rebecca is seeing doctor David for a check-up, she says, "I have another request, doctor."
"And what do you need me to do this time, Rebecca?" he asks.
"In a year’s time, please God, my grand-daughter Suzy is marrying a lovely, lovely, man, a real mensh, and I desperately want to attend their wedding. So please, doctor, please ensure that I stay alive long enough to attend their wedding."
"I’ll do my utmost to get you there, Rebecca," says doctor David.
"Thank you doctor," says Rebecca. And 12 months later, Rebecca does indeed attend Suzy’s wedding.
Over the next twenty years, Rebecca regularly visits doctor David for check-ups, and she always religiously follows his advice. Then one day, she suddenly phones doctor David. "Hello doctor," she says. "It’s Rebecca here."
"Are you OK Rebecca?" asks doctor David, sounding worried. "Is anything the matter?"
"Nothing’s the matter doctor," replies Rebecca, "I think everything is OK and I'm feeling fine. But I’m calling because I have another request to make. Do you remember when you enabled me to attend my grandson’s barmitzvah?"
"Yes Rebecca, I do," he replies.
"And do you remember when you enabled me to attend my grand-daughter’s wedding?"
"Yes Rebecca, I do," he replies.
"And are you aware that I've just celebrated my 80th birthday?" asks Rebecca.
"Yes Rebecca, I know," he replies.
"Well, I’m ringing you because I’ve just taken delivery of a new mattress," says Rebecca.
"Mazeltov," says doctor David, "but why are you phoning me about your mattress?"
"Because," replies Rebecca, "the mattress came with a 20 year guarantee!"

A husband was giving a speech on wife’s 50th birthday, he said: 

Forget about the past, you can’t change it.

Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. 

Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. 

Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday? A: Forget it once

 Q: Why did the little girl get soap for her birthday? A: It was a so a prize party!.

Q: What did the witch do on her birthday? A: She spellabrates.

 Q: What does a clam do on his birthday? A: He shellabrates!

Q: What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? A: Mice cream and cake!

Q: Why are birthday's good for you? A: Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!

Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.

It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. 'Oh, I don't know ,' she said . 'Just give me something with diamonds. That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. "Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me." So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

You Know your Old when

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

 People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

 You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."

The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style.

 Things you buy now won't wear out.

There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

When you're told to act your own age, and you die.

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Answer is C–  There are some questions that if you don't know the answer to them then you really should find another field to go into. This is one of them. Not knowing Israeli independence day is like not knowing what July 4^th is. November 29^th or as they call it here chaf tet b'novemeber was the day that the UN voted to recognize the original two state solution and when the war of independence started. I guess sometimes Yom Haa'atzmaut is celebrated on the 4^th of Iyar maybe when it falls on Shabbos, I know sometimes they push it off but I'm not sure. Anyways This one was a giveaway as it's obviously hei- the 5^th of Iyar. So the score now is Schwartz 20 and 9 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam. Let's keep this well needed streak going!